Dry, frizzy and unruly hair :(

[amame]

So, my hair has not had any color or lightning done is a long time. My hair is naturally curly. I would say 3B. I wanted something new around my birthday and got some highlights and a hair cut. I'm glad my hair has been growing, but not as much as I wanted. I know that is due from stress and diet. Anyway, my hair is SUPER DRY. I let it air dry the other day and it looked awful. I was embarrassed that my boyfriend saw it. It was a poofy ass mess. Right after the highlighting, my hair was much drier and frizzy. That encouraged me to go back to hear styling agian. Well, now it seems even drier and frizzy :(

When I see individuals with dyed and bleached hair who have shiny well maintained locs, I'm like how? Especially those who heat style and/or wear it naturally straight, wavy, curly, coily or any combination?

Any recommended shampoos, conditioners, hair treatments? anything you can think of. Preferably not tested on animals.

Thanks in advance!

[Mariekeeee14]

Heat styling on celebs makes their hair APPEAR shiny, but that ain’t healthy.. Do not compare your hair to them. I am firmly in the no heat camp and have been all my life. Same with dyes. It damages your hair.

[spidermom]

It sounds like your hair would benefit from a regular schedule of deep treatments. I'm sorry I can't recommend anything because I haven't verified things like animal testing on the products I'm using. I should have.

You can make your own deep treatment from 1 part your favorite conditioner, 1/2 part aloe vera gel (Fruit of the Earth makes a good one), and 1/2 part honey. Whip it all together. I do this by sitting a bowl of my mixture into warm water and whipping it up with a whisk. Apply this to damp hair, then put a shower cap over it or a plastic grocery bag to hold the heat in. What I like to do when I apply a deep treatment is soak in a hot bath for awhile. Very relaxing.

Good luck!

[blackgothicdoll]

Unfortunately us more curly types are more prone to damage from chemical processes. Curlier hair has a flatter strand, which causes quicker protein loss from this treatments that would take longer to wear down a round (straight) strand. It helps to get to know what your own hair likes.

I would suggest protein treatments and trying to keep away from heat. Once the protein balance is sorted out you may need to reassess the situation and baby your hair from there.

[lapushka]

What products do you use after a wash? Like a leave-in, curl cream and some gel? Or nothing at all?

[Lady Stardust]

Some of the brands formulated for curly hair are cruelty free. I’m fairly sure that Shea Moisture is, and I know As I Am is cruelty free. I think those kind of brands, which concentrate on getting lots of moisture into your hair, would be good for you. Kinky Curly, Jessicurl - from memory, but you’ll have to check (I haven’t used them).

Noughty are also cruelty free and worth a look, but probably not as moisturising (I get protein overload with some of their products so maybe that’s just me as I’m only a barely wavy!).

[Wendyclaire]

How long is your hair? My advice would to leave your hair alone for a while. I’d use a good hair oil and to tame it some, I use Pantene gel for flexible curls. I’ve never had shine to my hair.

[cjk]

To make a point, I'm going to rephrase.

You look at pictures of celebrities, most likely pictures in which lighting, fill lighting, color, and even Photoshop were used to project an image, and wonder why your own hair doesn't look like that.

You go to the beauty parlor, they use aggressive chemicals and heat on your hair which make it look decent temporarily, you come home and try to duplicate their results, and fall short.

And you're asking what more you need to do to make your hair look healthy?

Stop.

My suggestion is as follows. Stop trying to make it LOOK healthy, instead focus on helping it actually BE healthy.

Healthy hair tends to look better.

Considering what you listed, I would actually suggest that a good start would be stripping any product build-up from your hair by doing something curly girl refers to as a final wash. Basically you use a reasonably aggressive sulfate containing shampoo chew strip any buildup and residue from your hair, leaving it clean and able to absorb moisture.

And then condition the heck out of it. Then put on another liar. And another. And if you have a hot head use it. Then put another layer on. And another one. Use half the bottle if you need to.

And yes I'm completely serious.

Look up the curly girl method. Sometimes it's abbreviated CG or CGM. In fact I think I saw a thread about it on the front page.

Read up on it, see whether it's something that appeals to you.

[MusicalSpoons]

^ Even if strict Curly Girl doesn't particularly appeal, the main principle of 'moisture, moisture, and more moisture' will be your friend :) Heat is not! Step away from the heat tools because they may temporarily make your hair *look* better but in reality they will destroy it.

I don't know where you are but Faith in Nature is cruelty-free.

[S&S]

Unfortunately us more curly types are more prone to damage from chemical processes. Curlier hair has a flatter strand, which causes quicker protein loss from this treatments that would take longer to wear down a round (straight) strand..

Agreed. I always envied those with natural straight hair, though jet black, yet still able to get highlights and go blonde without much damage.

The damage on curly hair will continue to progress months after the bleach even with proper treatments. Trims will help with the damage.

You can try Cezzane smoothing treatment for the frizz - but again that's masking the damage and I'm sure not a popular suggestion around here.

[ebillan]

What do you use currently? I'm going through a similar thing with my own hair right now - I lightened it earlier in the year, and unfortunately it's contributed to my already dry and frizzy hair. A few months ago I started using the curly girl method for washing/styling my hair, and it's made a huge difference. I use a sulfate-free shampoo once a week just on the roots, condition everything with a sulfate free conditioner, and use All About Curls bouncy cream.

[Arciela]

That's how my hair was back in 2017. I stopped all heat, dyes, everything. Chopped it to shoulder and now it's almost waist and looks healthy and shiny.

For a year or two my hair looked awful as it grew out and it was a huge PITA but it was worth it. I also am doing CG full time. Cowashing, a little leave in and gel and my hair is great for a week:)

[spitfire511]

So I'm just throwing on the pile - though you have heard most of it already - I do a strand test. Yes, dry frizzy hair definitely needs moisture - however if it's lacking protein, it cannot hold in that moisture - you can wind up moisturising to no avail (and that's super frustrating!) And no everyone's hair follows the 'mushy' feeling (mine doesn't).

So take a few clean shed strands (preferably from a couple of different parts of your head since they'll have difference levels of 'damage' (sun lightening, mechanical etc) and wet them.
I let them just be wet for a minute.
Then try to stretch it (I do this by wrapping each end around an index finger to make sure it's not slipping).
If it snaps almost immediately - it desperately needs moisture. Clarify, deep condition - keep conditioning as the others suggest.
If it stretches a little then breaks - you're actually pretty balanced, so it may be a matter of oiling or some other method of 'controlling' your curl and keeping the moisture in.
If it stretches A LOT - then eventually breaks - you need protein. They sell treatments at Sally Beauty (Aphogee) which are great but you have to use VERY carefully (as it's drying your hair would be very breakable). Or many salons can do them as well.

It's worth a shot! Just always be careful - because that protein treatment if for hair that's really lacking protein. You CAN have too much protein and that's just as bad as no moisture. If you're in doubt at all, go with a protein friendly shampoo/conditioner etc if you feel you might need it, but aren't sure!

[amame]

Heat styling on celebs makes their hair APPEAR shiny, but that ain’t healthy.. Do not compare your hair to them. I am firmly in the no heat camp and have been all my life. Same with dyes. It damages your hair.

Thanks, I'll try not to.

[amame]

It sounds like your hair would benefit from a regular schedule of deep treatments. I'm sorry I can't recommend anything because I haven't verified things like animal testing on the products I'm using. I should have.

You can make your own deep treatment from 1 part your favorite conditioner, 1/2 part aloe vera gel (Fruit of the Earth makes a good one), and 1/2 part honey. Whip it all together. I do this by sitting a bowl of my mixture into warm water and whipping it up with a whisk. Apply this to damp hair, then put a shower cap over it or a plastic grocery bag to hold the heat in. What I like to do when I apply a deep treatment is soak in a hot bath for awhile. Very relaxing.

Good luck!

Thank you. I will try that!

[amame]

Unfortunately us more curly types are more prone to damage from chemical processes. Curlier hair has a flatter strand, which causes quicker protein loss from this treatments that would take longer to wear down a round (straight) strand. It helps to get to know what your own hair likes.

I would suggest protein treatments and trying to keep away from heat. Once the protein balance is sorted out you may need to reassess the situation and baby your hair from there.

Thank you. I bought a protein conditioner that arrives today.

[amame]

What products do you use after a wash? Like a leave-in, curl cream and some gel? Or nothing at all?

I started a new curl cream. PURA D'OR Curl Therapy Leave-In Styling Cream-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0773RM6M9/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_6?smid=A2W9BJCKST9EWU&psc=1 I like it, but it can be a little greasy.

Before that, I used something from etsy and Marc Anthony Strictly Curls Envy Perfect Curl Cream, https://www.amazon.com/Marc-Anthony-Strictly-Perfect-Humidity/dp/B003BMM336/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=marc+anthony+curl&qid=1570645314&sr=8-6 I may go back to that. Much cheaper and always worked well. I have learned that my curly hair had too much build up. I would apply more products everyday along with water.

I just started using hair gel, but I have not in almost two months now. I have been straightening too much. I tried some Curlmix flaxseed gel, which I did not like. I moved on to JASON Flaxseed Hi-Shine Styling Gel-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ZMBLYM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and Andalou Naturals Sunflower & Citrus Brilliant Shine Styling Gel-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0052P1CW8/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I have not used either in months.

I started using this product as well, but I have not used it much lately either: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0052P1D68/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_5?smid=A2LYX7FKX6AP16&psc=1

I recently started using this to; however only twice so far. SheaMoisture 8 oz Yucca & Plantain Anti-Breakage Strengthening Styling Milk
https://www.amazon.com/SheaMoisture-Plantain-Anti-Breakage-Strengthening-Styling/dp/B00KG4G0YU/ref=pd_rhf_ee_s_rp_c_0_4/133-3505829-0478049?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00KG4G0YU&pd_rd_r=d13352a0-66a7-40ab-8a40-f3bd3d4a502e&pd_rd_w=boboA&pd_rd_wg=unKn0&pf_rd_p=08488724-755c-4f52-8612-2237abee1792&pf_rd_r=4XKAB520NCHA3Y6BX8BR&psc=1&refRID=4XKAB520NCHA3Y6BX8BR

[amame]

Some of the brands formulated for curly hair are cruelty free. I’m fairly sure that Shea Moisture is, and I know As I Am is cruelty free. I think those kind of brands, which concentrate on getting lots of moisture into your hair, would be good for you. Kinky Curly, Jessicurl - from memory, but you’ll have to check (I haven’t used them).

Noughty are also cruelty free and worth a look, but probably not as moisturising (I get protein overload with some of their products so maybe that’s just me as I’m only a barely wavy!).

Thanks. I bought one product recently from them. I'm thinking of going back trying other products by them. I never heard of Noughty, but I will check them out.

[amame]

How long is your hair? My advice would to leave your hair alone for a while. I’d use a good hair oil and to tame it some, I use Pantene gel for flexible curls. I’ve never had shine to my hair.

My hair is finally at should length again. Thank you, I probably should leave it alone for a while. I have oils but I do not use/take advantage of them.

[amame]

^ Even if strict Curly Girl doesn't particularly appeal, the main principle of 'moisture, moisture, and more moisture' will be your friend :) Heat is not! Step away from the heat tools because they may temporarily make your hair *look* better but in reality they will destroy it.

I don't know where you are but Faith in Nature is cruelty-free.

I lack a lot of moisture. And I have been using heat way more lately. I will try. It can be so hard :/
I live in USA. I will check them out. Thank you.

[amame]

To make a point, I'm going to rephrase.

You look at pictures of celebrities, most likely pictures in which lighting, fill lighting, color, and even Photoshop were used to project an image, and wonder why your own hair doesn't look like that.

You go to the beauty parlor, they use aggressive chemicals and heat on your hair which make it look decent temporarily, you come home and try to duplicate their results, and fall short.

And you're asking what more you need to do to make your hair look healthy?

Stop.

My suggestion is as follows. Stop trying to make it LOOK healthy, instead focus on helping it actually BE healthy.

Healthy hair tends to look better.

Considering what you listed, I would actually suggest that a good start would be stripping any product build-up from your hair by doing something curly girl refers to as a final wash. Basically you use a reasonably aggressive sulfate containing shampoo chew strip any buildup and residue from your hair, leaving it clean and able to absorb moisture.

And then condition the heck out of it. Then put on another liar. And another. And if you have a hot head use it. Then put another layer on. And another one. Use half the bottle if you need to.

And yes I'm completely serious.

Look up the curly girl method. Sometimes it's abbreviated CG or CGM. In fact I think I saw a thread about it on the front page.

Read up on it, see whether it's something that appeals to you.

Thank you for your honest advice. I will.

[amame]

Agreed. I always envied those with natural straight hair, though jet black, yet still able to get highlights and go blonde without much damage.

The damage on curly hair will continue to progress months after the bleach even with proper treatments. Trims will help with the damage.

You can try Cezzane smoothing treatment for the frizz - but again that's masking the damage and I'm sure not a popular suggestion around here.

Me too. I had a friend who does and her sister apparently had curly hair. I liked her hair as well, and never knew she straightened it all the time. We were friends for years, and I never knew she had pretty big curls!

Still, thank you for the advice. It may mask, but until I get it together, it will help me stay away from heat tools.

[amame]

What do you use currently? I'm going through a similar thing with my own hair right now - I lightened it earlier in the year, and unfortunately it's contributed to my already dry and frizzy hair. A few months ago I started using the curly girl method for washing/styling my hair, and it's made a huge difference. I use a sulfate-free shampoo once a week just on the roots, condition everything with a sulfate free conditioner, and use All About Curls bouncy cream.

I never tried that curly girl method people seem to be mentioning. I need to try, but I guess I'm skeptical. I have been using Eco Love Shampoo, conditioner and deep conditioner, but it does not seem all that effective. It is suppose to help dry color treated hair.

Since i have been relying on heat tools for 2 months now, I have not been using much curl products. I use to use Marc Anthony Curl Envy. I just kept applying it everyday, which was giving me a ton of build up.

I started a new curl cream. PURA D'OR Curl Therapy Leave-In Styling Cream-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0773RM6M9/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_6?smid=A2W9BJCKST9EWU&psc=1 I like it, but it can be a little greasy.

I just started using hair gel, but I have not in almost two months now. I have been straightening too much. I tried some Curlmix flaxseed gel, which I did not like. I moved on to JASON Flaxseed Hi-Shine Styling Gel-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ZMBLYM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and Andalou Naturals Sunflower & Citrus Brilliant Shine Styling Gel-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0052P1CW8/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I have not used either in months.

I started using this product as well, but I have not used it much lately either: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...FKX6AP16&psc=1

I recently started using this to; however only twice so far. SheaMoisture 8 oz Yucca & Plantain Anti-Breakage Strengthening Styling Milk
https://www.amazon.com/SheaMoisture-...20NCHA3Y6BX8BR "
I will look into that option though and and take the curly girl method advice. Thank you.

[amame]

That's how my hair was back in 2017. I stopped all heat, dyes, everything. Chopped it to shoulder and now it's almost waist and looks healthy and shiny.

For a year or two my hair looked awful as it grew out and it was a huge PITA but it was worth it. I also am doing CG full time. Cowashing, a little leave in and gel and my hair is great for a week:)

I feel so bad. Straightening is so hard to resist lately, especially with how annoying AF my hair has been. I may need to sell my tools to stop.
Wow, for a week? That sounds nice. I really should try the CG method.. Thank you.

[amame]

So I'm just throwing on the pile - though you have heard most of it already - I do a strand test. Yes, dry frizzy hair definitely needs moisture - however if it's lacking protein, it cannot hold in that moisture - you can wind up moisturising to no avail (and that's super frustrating!) And no everyone's hair follows the 'mushy' feeling (mine doesn't).

So take a few clean shed strands (preferably from a couple of different parts of your head since they'll have difference levels of 'damage' (sun lightening, mechanical etc) and wet them.
I let them just be wet for a minute.
Then try to stretch it (I do this by wrapping each end around an index finger to make sure it's not slipping).
If it snaps almost immediately - it desperately needs moisture. Clarify, deep condition - keep conditioning as the others suggest.
If it stretches a little then breaks - you're actually pretty balanced, so it may be a matter of oiling or some other method of 'controlling' your curl and keeping the moisture in.
If it stretches A LOT - then eventually breaks - you need protein. They sell treatments at Sally Beauty (Aphogee) which are great but you have to use VERY carefully (as it's drying your hair would be very breakable). Or many salons can do them as well.

It's worth a shot! Just always be careful - because that protein treatment if for hair that's really lacking protein. You CAN have too much protein and that's just as bad as no moisture. If you're in doubt at all, go with a protein friendly shampoo/conditioner etc if you feel you might need it, but aren't sure!

Thank you! I will certainly do that.

[Mariekeeee14]

Good luck with all the advice and finding a method that works for your hair! (I'm sorry if I came over as harsh, I did not mean to. It's just a pet peeve of mine I guess, celebrities and their perfect *insert whatever*)

[Jo Ann]

One final bit of advice, Amame: try only ONE product change at a time. If you change a product, give yourself a couple of weeks (depending on your current routine) and see if your hair likes it before you change out another product. For example, if you change your shampoo, give it a few washes before you decide your hair likes it or not. Sometimes you'll get lucky and see a noticeable improvement right away--most times, you won't. Don't give up, though--there IS a set of products that WILL work for you!

And there ARE ways to help you use up the products that don't work as well. When I first came here, I tried WCC (wash-condition-condition) as my hair care routine and I found my Holy Grail (HG) conditioner right at the start. To use up the other conditioners that did not make my hair happy, I used them as my first conditioner and followed up with my HG conditioner. My HG conditioner (at least for me) helped my hair "cope" with the conditioners my hair wasn't happy with. As time went on, I found shampoos and first conditioners that made my hair happy--the shampoos and conditioners that did not make my hair happy (as in "no way in Hades" unhappy), I passed on to friends.

You've gotten some great ideas here, but patience will be the key!

[amame]

Good luck with all the advice and finding a method that works for your hair! (I'm sorry if I came over as harsh, I did not mean to. It's just a pet peeve of mine I guess, celebrities and their perfect *insert whatever*)

You're fine! It was honest, not harsh. I needed to hear that, so thank you again :)

[amame]

One final bit of advice, Amame: try only ONE product change at a time. If you change a product, give yourself a couple of weeks (depending on your current routine) and see if your hair likes it before you change out another product. For example, if you change your shampoo, give it a few washes before you decide your hair likes it or not. Sometimes you'll get lucky and see a noticeable improvement right away--most times, you won't. Don't give up, though--there IS a set of products that WILL work for you!

And there ARE ways to help you use up the products that don't work as well. When I first came here, I tried WCC (wash-condition-condition) as my hair care routine and I found my Holy Grail (HG) conditioner right at the start. To use up the other conditioners that did not make my hair happy, I used them as my first conditioner and followed up with my HG conditioner. My HG conditioner (at least for me) helped my hair "cope" with the conditioners my hair wasn't happy with. As time went on, I found shampoos and first conditioners that made my hair happy--the shampoos and conditioners that did not make my hair happy (as in "no way in Hades" unhappy), I passed on to friends.

You've gotten some great ideas here, but patience will be the key!

Thank you! I will try that too. I have some that need to be used up. I also never seem to try one product at a time. I jump to multiple. So thanks again. I will try to be patient.

[amame]

I tried a keratin treatment and my hair is much better. I have not put any product in it and its nowhere as frizzy as it has been. Doing a strand test; my hair did break easily :( My hair has also been falling out more in the shower and it would try much quicker than it use to. I forgot to mention it. I will try the other suggestions as well. I appreciate the help. Thank you again to everyone.
I'm open to more suggestion if anyone has any!

[lapushka]

I tried a keratin treatment and my hair is much better. I have not put any product in it and its nowhere as frizzy as it has been. Doing a strand test; my hair did break easily :( My hair has also been falling out more in the shower and it would try much quicker than it use to. I forgot to mention it. I will try the other suggestions as well. I appreciate the help. Thank you again to everyone.
I'm open to more suggestion if anyone has any!

You mean a brazilian blowout type treatment? :shocked:

[ebillan]

You mean a brazilian blowout type treatment? :shocked:

Maybe they mean something like Aphogee's keratin protein treatment?