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View Full Version : Long hair era is to end in 2 weeks ... husband in stress



dubon
November 7th, 2008, 03:06 PM
When my wife and I come back from NYC. My beautiful wife, who maintains her hair long (BSL to waist) for 9 years, will ask me to cut it short (probably, shoulder length). Then - she will probably go to a salon, to give it some more style. Nothing I can do to change that. I am both afraid (well, you know - not really afraid ... just worried :)) but also curious to see her in a new look. I will sure miss her longer hair. Maybe she will grow it back ... my hope is that since she hates salons, it will grow and grow, and in 3-4 years we will be returning to where we are today :D . I had some hope that my wife will choose her university professor as a role model for hair (this professor has a braid, so I am told, down to her tailbone), but unfortunately this is not to be. I am trying to remember what feelings I had when my wife came home after her big chop like 12 years ago. It was a sudden cut of 20", and from what I recall, I was in a shock (although I knew she is going to do it).
I also remember that our girl started to cry at another occasion, when my wife surprised us with a 10" cut.

If I have any message here for the ladies - do understand the power of your hair on your family and friends. Use it wisely :)

Eboshi
November 7th, 2008, 03:08 PM
I have to disagree. It's her hair and her choice. Wife or not, she is not here to "decorate your world."

spidermom
November 7th, 2008, 03:14 PM
So dubon, is it a rite of passage thing (university to job) that motivates her to cut or need for a change?

My DH never ventures an opinion about my hair, and it's been long, short, and everything between. I think he'd like it better if I didn't spend so much time on my hair and my long hair web site, even if that means I'd be cutting it instead.

manderly
November 7th, 2008, 03:17 PM
I have to disagree. It's her hair and her choice. Wife or not, she is not here to "decorate your world."


Yes, but it doesn't mean you aren't sad when something you've admired is suddenly lost. He's not trying to stop her.

I was shocked and sad when a GF of mine showed up with her gorgeous waist length blonde hair in a stubby little shoulder length ponytail! And I remember how she would always defend it when others told her to cut it. She misses her hair too :(

Copasetic
November 7th, 2008, 03:18 PM
sometimes cutting your hair can be a very good thing. maybe she could even donate some to "locks of love" or something :)

rhubarbarin
November 7th, 2008, 03:19 PM
I have a 'feeling' about this post..

Anyway I agree with Eboshi, even though my own SO has a ridiculous attachment to my hair.

manderly
November 7th, 2008, 03:22 PM
sometimes cutting your hair can be a very good thing. maybe she could even donate some to "locks of love" or something :)

Not a good idea......

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=13556&highlight=locks+love

dubon
November 7th, 2008, 03:27 PM
agreed - she is not here to decorate anybody's world. In fact, she is a maverick (a popular word these days) in the area of fashion and looks, and always do it her way. I think her long hair was part of that attitude, of not yielding to conventional looks. However, it seems that her age, her grey hairs, and probably a need for a change, is a combination that shifted her mind.

nastasska
November 7th, 2008, 03:34 PM
Your post seems familiar have you been here before?

dubon
November 7th, 2008, 03:40 PM
no - my first post

Copasetic
November 7th, 2008, 03:45 PM
Not a good idea......

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=13556&highlight=locks+love

aww, thats really disappointing :( i had no idea they did that.

Euphony
November 7th, 2008, 03:48 PM
sometimes cutting your hair can be a very good thing. maybe she could even donate some to "locks of love" or something :)
hahaha you're new here :wink:

Actually I think dubon has a sweet message - our hair can have an effect on our friends and family. Yes it is the owners hair, but I know my husband would be shocked and bummed out if I cut my hair off - but he'd understand too and it wouldn't change how he felt about me. It'd just take a bit of getting used to.

renarok
November 7th, 2008, 04:23 PM
;I sometimes get a little sad that my husband doesn't have the fondness for my hair that I have. He really wouldn't care if I lopped my hair off to my ears. But I tell myself it is because he loves me not my hair.;)

Curlsgirl
November 7th, 2008, 04:33 PM
hahaha you're new here :wink:

Actually I think dubon has a sweet message - our hair can have an effect on our friends and family. Yes it is the owners hair, but I know my husband would be shocked and bummed out if I cut my hair off - but he'd understand too and it wouldn't change how he felt about me. It'd just take a bit of getting used to.

I agree with this. I don't think the OP meant that he was trying to tell her what to do, just that he was sad she was cutting. Nothing wrong with that! My DH would be the same way and I would understand.

RavennaNight
November 7th, 2008, 06:35 PM
After I decided to grow my hair back, DH admitted he was really sad that I cut my hair in the first place and that he loved me with longer hair. He never told me until after I made the decision. I know I am generalizing, but from most guys I have known, most men like longer hair on women.

Elphie
November 7th, 2008, 06:40 PM
The first time I cut my hair (it was classic and I took it to shoulder) I was still teaching kindergarten. Anyone who walked into my room that day literally shrieked in surprise. Over the next few days I learned how attached they had become to my hair! I was fine about the cut but the reaction left me a little rattled. People DO become attached to your hair and you may not even realize it.

Teakafrog
November 7th, 2008, 06:54 PM
The longer my hair gets, the more my hubby says he likes it--he never used to comment on it at all. The other day he said, "The last time it was this long you chopped it all off--you're not gonna do that again, are you?" I thought it was great that he was noticing it finally, after how hard I've tried to take care of it for the last couple years.
So yeah, I understand where OP's coming from.

joyfulmom4
November 7th, 2008, 07:40 PM
Yes, but it doesn't mean you aren't sad when something you've admired is suddenly lost. He's not trying to stop her.

I was shocked and sad when a GF of mine showed up with her gorgeous waist length blonde hair in a stubby little shoulder length ponytail! And I remember how she would always defend it when others told her to cut it. She misses her hair too :(

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If my dh decided to do something surprising to change something I admired about his appearance, I would likely be disappointed too, or miss the look I used to admire. Is that so bad? Hey, it's a GOOD thing the man finds his wife beautiful, isn't it? Maybe if he was pressuring her or trying to stop her, or asking us how to convince her to change her mind, that would bug me. But I got the feeling he was just sharing those emotions. :shrug: I dunno. Maybe there's more that I didn't pick up here?

Teazel
November 7th, 2008, 07:41 PM
All the men in my life are attached to my hair (what a mental image! :D), and if it wasn't for their sad puppy-dog faces whenever I've dreamed out loud about cutting it, I'd have had short hair long ago. So there you go; it's ultimately my decision, but their feelings on the matter have influenced me, bless them. :flowers:

Tressie
November 7th, 2008, 08:11 PM
;I sometimes get a little sad that my husband doesn't have the fondness for my hair that I have. He really wouldn't care if I lopped my hair off to my ears. But I tell myself it is because he loves me not my hair.;)
Hi renarok, I know exactly how you feel. My DH could care less really. About a year ago, we were at a dinner and I had my hair down and curled on the ends reaching waist. An older man made a comment to me about "beautiful hair", as we walked by, and DH said "I beg your pardon" in a joking voice and the man said in the same tone, "you weren't supposed to hear that!" It was a perfectly harmless exchange, but I wondered if DH realized that not everyone is immune to my hair as he seems to be?

In all honesty, I would hate it if he forbid me to cut it, as some men are guilty of doing, but I do wish he liked it a bit more. (o:

plainjanegirl
November 7th, 2008, 08:16 PM
Maybe your wife is ready for a change....sometimes life does that for you. You should just let her be happy with her hair whether short or long.

By the way are you trying to grow your hair long?

Anje
November 7th, 2008, 08:22 PM
I learned not too long ago that DH likes my long hair. He's seen it from brushing my shoulders to the length it is now, and he said he likes this length the best (so far). Long hair is more flattering on me, and I think he's discovering that he likes it more the longer it grows.

To the OP: Thanks for reminding us how much others become attached to our hair. I know I've been shocked when longhaired friends cut off several feet. I hope you support your wife in whatever she does, because it is her hair and her decision, but I know how you feel. I was a bit sad when my husband decided to cut off his curls.

dubon
November 7th, 2008, 11:48 PM
I think this post did go to the right direction, eventually. Yes, there probably is a dilemma for guys who like to see long hair (everywhere, actually), and who are blessed to have their own wife being a long hair. "To compliment or not to compliment", this is the question. To tell her how beautiful it is, or to play it "cool", and let her sail through life not knowing how long hair is important to you. Well, I have never complimented a stranger (I know, not very courageous), but is my wife a stranger to me ?
Obviously playing it "cool" is the safer option, as you will not be judged as trying to control your wife in any way. However, I did choose the first way. I think this is part of being totally open and candid, and really means true marriage. It goes both ways, of course. I think we are quite candid in our discussions on many different issues (much beyond hair, actually ... ), but at times we do go to earthly stuff like hair. No punch line here - I think the voice of the long hair "watchers", and specifically those in the closer loop, is what I was trying to express in here.

ChloeDharma
November 8th, 2008, 04:07 AM
If i had a b/f (i can dream! :p) i'd love it if he cared about my hair, and if he said he preferred it long i'd find that a motive to keep it long. I don't really see the problem in a partner expressing his preferrences as long as it's not done in a controlling way....but i think it's obvious when that's the case.

Comfrey
November 8th, 2008, 05:27 AM
I'd have to resuscitate my hubby if I cut my hair ;)

ktani
November 8th, 2008, 05:37 AM
dubon

I think that it is great that you are concerned and willing to share your opinion with her but it is her decision and what she is comfortable with, how she feels.

Hair grows back. If she is so determined, support her change in spite of how you feel. The change may make her feel better about herself. That is a good thing, IMO.

You are unsure of how short she may want it. She may be unsure too. If the 2 of you discuss options and styles and you give her some positive input, you may both get what you want. She will have a change in length but it does not necessarily have to be drastic. There are so many possibilities.

nastasska
November 8th, 2008, 08:55 AM
If you really love long hair growing your own is a good idea

joyfulmom4
November 8th, 2008, 09:08 AM
If you really love long hair growing your own is a good idea

I think many men feel that long hair is feminine and beautiful on women, but would not find it equally rewarding to grow their own hair. Culturally, it is the norm for men (at least in the US, don't know where the OP is from) to have short hair. So Dubon may not enjoy having long hair himself. Maybe he would, but I'm thinking that a lot of guys who admire long hair would not find the same satisfaction in having their own hair long that they would in seeing their wife's lovely locks.

Perhaps he would love to have long hair and be happy growing it. We certainly have quite a few great-looking fellas here with fantastic long hair. But I would be reluctant to dismiss Dubon's feelings with "if you like it grow your own". Not meaning to sound critical of you for suggesting it. It's a great idea if he is the sort of guy who likes long hair on himself. But ykwim.

Sherri
November 8th, 2008, 09:13 AM
I'd have to resuscitate my hubby if I cut my hair ;)
I did have to resuscitate mine. I went from a little past bsl to a short pixie cut without tell my DH and when I walked into the house it through him into shock and he didn't speak to me for 3 weeks. It was shortly after giving birth to my son and I needed a change so I walked into the beauty shop and said I don't even want to be able to put it into a ponytail. Afterward I missed my hair something terrible. I don't think you should make rash decisions after delivering a child. I hear of more women doing that and regreting it later.

ole gray mare
November 8th, 2008, 01:27 PM
Is this really your first post? If so, you must have lurked for sometime, because you have the lingo down pat.

In any case, best of luck with everything.

Elenna
November 8th, 2008, 01:39 PM
Is there any problem just telling her, just once, how much her hair means to you?

jojo
November 8th, 2008, 01:51 PM
All the men in my life are attached to my hair (what a mental image! :D), and if it wasn't for their sad puppy-dog faces whenever I've dreamed out loud about cutting it, I'd have had short hair long ago. So there you go; it's ultimately my decision, but their feelings on the matter have influenced me, bless them. :flowers:

mmmm...something you wish to share with us:D

dubon
November 9th, 2008, 09:59 AM
Is there any problem just telling her, just once, how much her hair means to you?
How about 5000 times ? :) in fact, I think I may have done that too much. So, my wife's decision to cut is really based on a full range of facts and desires, where she (of course) has the last word on the WH questions (when, how, what, where, and why). So far - I think the Why, and When are pretty known. The rest will be determined in a week or so. That said, my wife and I are invited to a very upscale dinner in 3 days, and my wife mentioned to me she would like to have something special for her hair (still long ... will be cut a few days later)- an upscale style (more then her ususal bun) for an upscale event. I will post another thread for that one - I am sure this forum has a lot to offer in that area. :thumbsup:

naomimcc
November 9th, 2008, 10:02 AM
sometimes cutting your hair can be a very good thing. maybe she could even donate some to "locks of love" or something :)

don't even go there...

lorig713
November 9th, 2008, 11:16 AM
I think the phrase "I am not here to decorate your world" is rather snotty.

Having a short-boyish haircut can be a turn-off. If you don't want to be attractive for your partner, then ...

And...Having my DH enjoy my long hair makes me happy so he get's a vote in my hair decisions.

ktani
November 9th, 2008, 11:27 AM
Here is a thread on updos to leaf through.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=1809

TheSpottedCow
November 9th, 2008, 11:27 AM
I was thinking about cutting my hair recently just because I was in a really awful mood for like two weeks and thought I needed a change (the thought still crosses my mind but I don't think I'll ever do it... I might buy a wig though, haha) but anyway, when I mentioned it to DBF he was totally upset by the idea... He has long hair too, about BSL length if he wore a bra and wants to grow it down to his hips...

Neither of us tell the other one waht they're ALLOWED to do with personal style. That would be wrong, IMO, but we both definately voice our opinions. I take his opinion into consideration because I like it when he takes mine into consideration. Recently, he wanted highlights and I asked him not to because it would damage his hair and I thought he'd look really bad with them, and he didn't do it, but he wasn't dead set on it anyway. If he came home tomorrow and said that he desperately wanted highlights and it would make him really happy, then I'd accept it and be fine with it. Likewise, if tomorrow I decided that I absolutely must cut my hair, he would accept it.

jenny'sdreaming
November 9th, 2008, 09:22 PM
I think the phrase "I am not here to decorate your world" is rather snotty.

Having a short-boyish haircut can be a turn-off. If you don't want to be attractive for your partner, then ...

And...Having my DH enjoy my long hair makes me happy so he get's a vote in my hair decisions.

I second this. I always ask DH's opinion and more often than not he say's "It's your hair. Do what you want." But I do want him to like looking at it.:eyebrows:

Teacherbear
November 9th, 2008, 09:35 PM
Cutting hair doesn't have to be drastic. What is wrong with cutting an couple of inches every month until the hair is the desired length?

ilovelonghair
November 10th, 2008, 01:26 AM
How about 5000 times ? :) in fact, I think I may have done that too much. So, my wife's decision to cut is really based on a full range of facts and desires, where she (of course) has the last word on the WH questions (when, how, what, where, and why). So far - I think the Why, and When are pretty known. The rest will be determined in a week or so. That said, my wife and I are invited to a very upscale dinner in 3 days, and my wife mentioned to me she would like to have something special for her hair (still long ... will be cut a few days later)- an upscale style (more then her ususal bun) for an upscale event. I will post another thread for that one - I am sure this forum has a lot to offer in that area. :thumbsup:


Could it be that she uses the 'hair cut' idea as a control thing? If she knows what it means to you, she might be doing it for a reason like that. I have heard of such things before, so it is a posibility.

Couldn't she get a really nice updo for the dinner? That can look much more special then some hair cut.
Have you ever told her that she can have more hair styles with long hair then short hair?

As for people who say: 'she is not here to decorate your world', long hair can be a thing of atraction. Just a preference, like some people like blue eyes, or a certain type of look. Hair is just a thing like that and you can't change what you like.

Dolly
November 10th, 2008, 06:27 AM
Well, my fiancee has always told me that I can do whatever I want with my hair, because it is MY hair. But, the one time I mentioned the possibility of cutting it, he got the "sad puppy dog look".......I know it would break his heart if I did cut it.

ktani
November 10th, 2008, 06:27 AM
I think that this post is very revealing.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=336803&postcount=7

And the fact that you and only you have not only posted here, but started 2 threads.

Your wife must be the one to want this. From what you say, she clearly does not.

Here, hair that length is a goal for many.

But it has to be wanted. I agree with Ursula.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=336853&postcount=10

I think that you should let this go, and leave it up to her in terms of letting her get on with it. You have made your feelings known.

If she wants help from here, I would feel much better about all of this, if she signed up as a member here and posted.

lora410
November 10th, 2008, 06:59 AM
I can understand where he is coming from. My fiancée had his hair grown out to this style I absolutely loved and then 1 day buzz cut it all off. I was sad and shocked but I dealt with it. he has grown it back and chopped it several times since. Sometimes we all need a change and it's OK to mourn what is gone. Kudos to you for caring about you wifes hair :D

ktani
November 10th, 2008, 07:08 AM
I can understand where he is coming from. My fiancée had his hair grown out to this style I absolutely loved and then 1 day buzz cut it all off. I was sad and shocked but I dealt with it. he has grown it back and chopped it several times since. Sometimes we all need a change and it's OK to mourn what is gone. Kudos to you for caring about you wifes hair :D

Oh, I understand too and applaud Dubon's communication with, and commitment to, wanting to help his wife with this.

I can understand his mourning the potential loss of the long hair on her, he loves.

But she does not or no longer loves her long hair and she is the one who has to deal with it.

She should at this point, be left in peace to make her decision IMO, whatever that decision turns out to be.

zift
November 10th, 2008, 07:24 AM
I think "I'm not here to decorate your world" phrase doesn't suit with me and my partner's life. Because we do decorate each other's world. His opinions on everything including my image is important to me, I'll make my own decisions for sure but they're important so I'd prefer hearing from him rather than silence. I'm lucky at this point that my man really likes long hair and has always motivated me towards it:)
From another point of view he likes to hear my thoughts about him as well. I adore long hair very much and by every-chance tell him how beautiful his hair is and how cool it will be past waist or something but he just likes it shorter and every six months cuts it around shoulder length. So I understand your stress a lot dubon because I feel very similar to you every six months. I always dream that this time he'll pass the cut and maybe grow longer but he doesn't. Wish he does one day...

ktani
November 10th, 2008, 08:07 AM
I can be pretty patient IRL, but if there is something I want or do not want to do, I can also be very stubborn.

One thing I have 0 tolerance for is nagging. That is an old issue from my childhood and my mother, who can be very repetitive. The irony is that I have acquired the habit too, and I hate it coming from me as well. I continually work on that.

My point is, that there is a fine line between making one's feelings known and nagging.

I do not like to be pressured about things that are my personal domain. I am not talking about sharing responsibilities or mutual finances, just personal things, like hair etc.

Katze
November 11th, 2008, 11:09 AM
mods, I hope you are watching this one. :)

heidi w.
November 11th, 2008, 12:48 PM
Mr. Dubon,

I'm not really into helping men beg their wives to keep their hair, but since you mention you're in NYC, did you know there's a long hair salon, Madora in Manhattan? You're practically there!

They could do the cut for her, if she wants.

You could telephone and explain and make an appointment.

Most women have the hair they have because it makes them feel good about who and what they are.

Short hair can look lovely too! I've done my time in short hair and may have to do so or want to do so again. Who knows.

I have heard your viewpoint from many other camps over the years, and understand this view. I hope that men reading this will remember that they are with the people they are, long or longer or shorter or shortest hair, because they care for who that person IS, what that person stands for. This is the greater appreciation that is necessary in the world of relationships -- much more so than hair length.

Thus begins the debates about the importance of physical looks to men.

I'm sure you'll remain supportive of your wife as this is a main component to marital bliss. Sneaking to long hair sights to satisfy any cravings is its own kind of delusion and can create great rifts between people. Beware of this need if you are so inclined. I myself have been subject to this and am aware of how it feels to feel less than, and unable to compete or win or gain attention, over something such as a physical attribute.

heidi w.

heidi w.
November 11th, 2008, 12:50 PM
sometimes cutting your hair can be a very good thing. maybe she could even donate some to "locks of love" or something :)

You might want to read up on LoL. ETA: I see you've been informed.

ETA: Mr. Dubon, make sure if she wishes to donate it's not to Locks of Love. Her hair is more than likely to be thrown away. I recommend Pantene Beautiful Lengths if this idea is something she wants to do. They DO give wigs to women dealing with cancer.

heidi w.

ChloeDharma
November 11th, 2008, 01:39 PM
You might want to read up on LoL. ETA: I see you've been informed.

ETA: Mr. Dubon, make sure if she wishes to donate it's not to Locks of Love. Her hair is more than likely to be thrown away. I recommend Pantene Beautiful Lengths if this idea is something she wants to do. They DO give wigs to women dealing with cancer.

heidi w.

Another option could be to sell the hair yourself then donate the money to a charity you want to support....not suggesting anyone should be pressured to do this at all....just saying that's what i would do in that situation and might appeal to some people.
It's good to know there is a reputable alternative to LoL though Heidi....although i don't think we have anything like that over here.

heidi w.
November 11th, 2008, 01:41 PM
One more idea, Mr. Dubon:

If you want a nice updo done for an elegant affair (referencing your other post asking for updo suggestions), and this affair occurs in NYC, then you can likewise call the Madora salon in NYC, Manhattan, for an appointment. They are capable of creating spectacular updos. I had one done for a special occasion back in early March of this year. I wish I knew how to upload pictures easily to drop in above & beyond my siggy pix.

George Michael Madora
422 Madison Ave Fl 5, New York, NY 10017 (212) 752-1177

This is the original GM salon, and now Maria owns it, who worked with Mr. George Michael for decades before taking ownership of the business.

Lovely woman. Your wife will have a wonderful experience here, I am quite certain. That might be a nice treat.

This is by appointment only. No drop ins because many of their clients are well known and privacy is respected. They are open an evening of the week, I think Thursday, and open on Saturdays as well.

They also sell a lot of very nice hair ornaments that are hair safe, even ones that shorter haired people can utilize. This is not a cheap salon. You will be leaving behind at least $100, I anticipate. Tip well! (My $100 includes a healthy tip suggestion)

Oh, plan a minimum of 2 hours there. This is not a rush-rush event, being at this salon.

heidi w.

mugglemomof3
November 11th, 2008, 02:57 PM
ETA: Mr. Dubon, make sure if she wishes to donate it's not to Locks of Love. Her hair is more than likely to be thrown away. I recommend Pantene Beautiful Lengths if this idea is something she wants to do. They DO give wigs to women dealing with cancer.

heidi w.

Hey Heidi! thanks for mentioning this. It would be good to know so that in the future, if I decide to cut short, I could donate. The "donate to a good cause" is always so appealing.

Even though I bet Eboshi is right on (she's very intuitive in this area :D), the topic of this thread is still interesting.

My father still refers to a day in June every year as "Black Monday" even if that day doesn't fall on a Monday. That date in June was when my mother helped me chop off my past-waist hair to a shoulder length bob. Some men really do get very very attached to the long hair of their friends/family. I don't think it's always a bad thing. My sons were both kinda iffy when I told them I was going to grow my hair really long again, they had never seen me IRL with long hair. But as it's gotten longer and longer, it's really grown on them! (sorry, couldn't resist). My DS15 is fascinated with how you can hold up an intricate 'do with only a hairstick -- he likes to practice his hand at it (which is cool because if I end up in a retirement home years down the road and still have my long hair, he will have to visit me often so someone can do my hair! ;)

Eboshi
November 11th, 2008, 07:14 PM
Even though I bet Eboshi is right on (she's very intuitive in this area :D), the topic of this thread is still interesting.
Thank you for the vote of confidence MMo3. I admit I do "wonder" about certain members who are:
1. Not interested in growing their own hair out
2. Waaaaaaaaaay too pre-occupied with a simple haircut (that is not even their own) and
3. Their wives, girlfriends, SO's for some reason ....... never once appear on our boards :hmm:

Schmoomunitions
November 11th, 2008, 08:16 PM
Though I also am a little too concerned with my boyfriends looks, I LOVE his sideburns and if he shaved them off I fear he would look quite unattractive to me, so I know what he is talking about even though it is unfair, stupid, superficial, you cant help what you like.

~GypsyCurls~
November 13th, 2008, 06:02 PM
I'll always remember when I was little and my mom came back with short hair, and had one of those 80's poodle perms! She previously had bum-length, naturally straight hair.

But, one's own hair should be one's own choice, IMO. I know your wife will be beautiful with or without long hair :)

Demetrue
November 13th, 2008, 06:36 PM
I myself, get very shaken when my husband makes a big physical change, like growing a beard, shaving a beard, growing his hair longer, getting a buzz cut. I find buzz cuts very unattractive on him and always feel upset inside when he chooses to do this, especially when he knows how I feel about them. Ultimately, it is his hair and he can do whatever he wants to it, but I wish he would tkae my feelings into consideration sometimes, because I would hope doing things occasionally to please me would be part of our marriage. In case you think I'm superficial - we have been together and faithfully married for almost 20 years now. I just have issues when he comes home looking like a totally different person - it usually takes me several weeks to adjust to the change and be sure this is the same person I married. He knows that I will always stay with him and always love him, regardless of whether he went bald, became physically handicapped or ill, etc, but I still have certain preferences for him with longer hair.

ladyfairington
November 13th, 2008, 07:15 PM
oh wow.

i feel sorry for you because i know you'll miss her hair, but i also think she is really brave.

i've had long hair all of my life and i would never be brave enough to cut it like that.

eep. <3!