View Full Version : Feeling very frustrated
Beeboo123
August 16th, 2019, 08:41 PM
I’ve finally reached classic again, but I’m completely dissatisfied with my hair. I’ve been stuck between tailbone and classic for the longest time. Somehow, my ends just disintegrate and fairytale after tailbone. I keep cutting my hair back, hoping that it will finally grow out properly, but that never works. I don’t take hair photos anymore because I’m so disappointed. I baby my hair, I wear it in protective styles all the time (held up with giant claw clips that don’t cause breakage), I’m so gentle when detangling, and I have no split ends or white dots! I’m fairly sure I’m not breaking any hairs, but I can’t get my hemline to be blunt. I’m so frustrated, you guys. Please help me!
GrowlingCupcake
August 16th, 2019, 10:50 PM
It sounds like you've hit terminal. Hair naturally tapers so having a blunt hemline at your terminal is not feasible.
akurah
August 17th, 2019, 12:20 AM
Stop cutting.
AutobotsAttack
August 17th, 2019, 12:23 AM
Your hemline will not naturally grow blunt. It’s not in the nature of hair to do so. Only way to keep a blunt hemline is to cut it consistently. Perhaps don’t trim as often. Maybe only twice a year to retain your length. It may taper in between those months, but that what hair naturally does.
And breakage happens as well. Even if you are certain it doesn’t happen, it does. Often times hairs will break without you even noticing, and unless you are examining every hair that comes out during the shower, during detangling, and when you let your hair down, when you touch it, etc., you won’t know for certain. Not every hair is a shed hair.
It’s normal for hair to fairytale at much longer lengths, but as stated before, doing smaller, less frequent trims is about the only way to keep your hemline blunt.
Tinyponies
August 17th, 2019, 12:55 AM
I’ve finally reached classic again, but I’m completely dissatisfied with my hair. I’ve been stuck between tailbone and classic for the longest time. Somehow, my ends just disintegrate and fairytale after tailbone. I keep cutting my hair back, hoping that it will finally grow out properly, but that never works. I don’t take hair photos anymore because I’m so disappointed. I baby my hair, I wear it in protective styles all the time (held up with giant claw clips that don’t cause breakage), I’m so gentle when detangling, and I have no split ends or white dots! I’m fairly sure I’m not breaking any hairs, but I can’t get my hemline to be blunt. I’m so frustrated, you guys. Please help me!
You said that your ends are disintegrating, what exactly do you mean? That word suggests they’re breaking. You stated that there are no splits or white dots, so what’s physically happening to them?
As far as I understand, true fairy tailing is a different thing altogether where perfectly healthy hemlines tail off as the individual hairs reach their naturally varied maximum lengths. I expect that a lot of the “fairy tailing” that we usually see is actually breakage.
Could it be that you are nearing your terminal length and seeing the beginning of true fairytailing? It might be worth hunting out some pictures of what that looks like on other people to normalise it for yourself. It is imo a very beautiful look.
LHC guys - how common is it to see terminal beginning to show around classic length?
LittleHealthy
August 17th, 2019, 04:48 AM
I do recall Ellethwyn (am I spelling her username correctly?) saying she thinks she may have started to reach her terminal length, and she’s around tailbone/Classic I think! Perhaps she may see this thread!
01
August 17th, 2019, 07:17 AM
Classic is/was my terminal.
MusicalSpoons
August 17th, 2019, 08:20 AM
Honestly, starting to thin out is most likely not the same as terminal. Mine thins out somewhere around there but I'm a couple of inches away from calling calf - the difference between us could simply be that I minded the thinner hemline much less, and not enough to stop me growing.
If you are able to share a picture we can better advise :flower:
Edit: thinning out is usually related to a portion of hairs having reached their terminal, but the rest of your hair will usually grow on. It's almost as if it's just the first reminder that your overall length does have a terminal length, and it's just your hair's way of saying 'oh by the way, you know I can't grow infinitely long' - it applies to all of us at some length :wink: though it's not always noticeable to observers on some heads of hair.
For some it can be quite abrupt from thinning to terminal, but the hemline is usually naturally a V shape at that point before you can even consider that it might be that :)
neko_kawaii
August 17th, 2019, 08:51 AM
For perspective, my hair starts to visibly thin a little above waist length. Terminal is somewhere past knee.
As was said up thread, hair does not grow in a thick blunt hemline. Blunt hems are achieved through regular trimming. Depending on the thickness of your hair, where it starts to visibly thin is going to be different.
lapushka
August 17th, 2019, 09:12 AM
I can grow blunt to waist, and I have never tried to go further, because I had mine cut into a major layering style as of that moment (my hair was just too heavy and in the way blunt).
In layers my hair starts to thin FTL, even with the layers... very noticeable to me.
It is different for everyone, but most people can't go blunt for very long lengths. Or you have to have *lots* of patience and have to stop trimming! You can't try and beat this to the punch!
eresh
August 17th, 2019, 09:14 AM
My ends thin too. This does not mean my hair is terminal, it still grows.
Maybe try to grow past classic if your hair still grows, don't trim untill you make it, just S&D only.
And then cut back to your goallength of classic, to achieve blunt ends.
At least that's what I'm doing now.
Grow to ankle to cut back to knee to have fuller ends.
And, thin ends CAN fill out, if you give them time to grow and don't trim.
Look at Gossamers journey!
Cg
August 17th, 2019, 01:00 PM
My experience does not match that of most advice here.
I trim every six weeks, just enough to keep my hemline blunt, and have done since BSL. It takes no more patience than growing for a year and then cutting off the thin inches to make it blunt. Meanwhile, FREQUENT trims are what keep the hemline even. Blunt's important to me but clearly not to many others here. I took it that OP wanted to retain her blunt hem while growing which is why I offer my personal experience.
My hair grows at or slightly faster than average. If yours grows more slowly, trim less often.
MusicalSpoons
August 17th, 2019, 01:10 PM
My experience does not match that of most advice here.
I trim every six weeks, just enough to keep my hemline blunt, and have done since BSL. It takes no more patience than growing for a year and then cutting off the thin inches to make it blunt. Meanwhile, FREQUENT trims are what keep the hemline even. Blunt's important to me but clearly not to many others here. I took it that OP wanted to retain her blunt hem while growing which is why I offer my personal experience.
My hair grows at or slightly faster than average. If yours grows more slowly, trim less often.
Do you mean blunt, as in, the same thickness all the way down, or blunt as in straight/even? It's easy enough to keep one's hemline even, but another to keep it the same thickness as the rest of the hair past a certain point.
Cg
August 17th, 2019, 01:27 PM
Do you mean blunt, as in, the same thickness all the way down, or blunt as in straight/even? It's easy enough to keep one's hemline even, but another to keep it the same thickness as the rest of the hair past a certain point.
Both. I know from experience growing to knee several times that my terminal must be quite long. Presumably an earlier terminal means thinning starts higher.
MusicalSpoons
August 17th, 2019, 01:57 PM
Both. I know from experience growing to knee several times that my terminal must be quite long. Presumably an earlier terminal means thinning starts higher.
Oh wow, fair enough :D and yep, I agree thinning/terminal most likely corresponds. (Not enough people grow to terminal to be able to actually investigate this scientifically, but it would be really interesting!)
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 02:56 AM
http://imgur.com/kX0wzHW
Here’s a photo. I’ve been constantly cutting back to where the arrow is. I’ve tried microtrimming too, but my hair thickness just refuses to travel past that point. I collected all my shed hairs everyday for a few months and examined them, close to 100% are shed hairs, not broken hairs. Am i reaching terminal? I just can’t seem to grow blunt past that length. This constant trimming back has been going on since Feb 2018. My last 3-4 inches are not even the thickness of a pencil
Sarahlabyrinth
August 18th, 2019, 03:15 AM
Beeboo, I know you are frustrated about your thinner ends, but oh my, they are so pretty, it seems a shame to keep cutting them off. Just my opinion :)
lapushka
August 18th, 2019, 03:58 AM
http://imgur.com/kX0wzHW
Here’s a photo. I’ve been constantly cutting back to where the arrow is. I’ve tried microtrimming too, but my hair thickness just refuses to travel past that point. I collected all my shed hairs everyday for a few months and examined them, close to 100% are shed hairs, not broken hairs. Am i reaching terminal? I just can’t seem to grow blunt past that length. This constant trimming back has been going on since Feb 2018. My last 3-4 inches are not even the thickness of a pencil
TBH, I think it's just how it lays, that's not thinning just *yet*! It would have to be... how do I say this? A little more "frayed" at the ends and this is not it.
I think you should stop trimming! Badly! And just let it grow. And snap more than one picture before you decide. Hair can lay so very differently depending on how you take the picture.
Please do stop worrying, because you have no real issue here, IMMHO. Just beautiful hair.
Keep growing!
01
August 18th, 2019, 06:39 AM
Your curled ends are cute :).
That's fascinating Cg, I'll try to remember that for the future, since nowadays I'm into more sleek, blunt, moisturized and polished styles. When I had long hair I wasn't trimming at all, so yeah... This is very new to me (or trimming at all, I usually do drastic cuts or no cutting, even S&D), will try to remember that. Would be cool to have relatively even, thick classic in the (very far) future. As you said, not a very popular opinion here.
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 07:32 AM
My hair is fast-growing, i tried trimming every 4-6weeks, but nope, still no blunt hemline, it seems that my hair just wants to grow this way. I feel like i’m fighting a losing battle
My experience does not match that of most advice here.
I trim every six weeks, just enough to keep my hemline blunt, and have done since BSL. It takes no more patience than growing for a year and then cutting off the thin inches to make it blunt. Meanwhile, FREQUENT trims are what keep the hemline even. Blunt's important to me but clearly not to many others here. I took it that OP wanted to retain her blunt hem while growing which is why I offer my personal experience.
My hair grows at or slightly faster than average. If yours grows more slowly, trim less often.
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 07:34 AM
I guess that kind of makes sense, except that a portion of my hair doesn’t seem to want to grow past tailbone. I reached tailbone 1 year and 8 months ago...
My ends thin too. This does not mean my hair is terminal, it still grows.
Maybe try to grow past classic if your hair still grows, don't trim untill you make it, just S&D only.
And then cut back to your goallength of classic, to achieve blunt ends.
At least that's what I'm doing now.
Grow to ankle to cut back to knee to have fuller ends.
And, thin ends CAN fill out, if you give them time to grow and don't trim.
Look at Gossamers journey!
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 07:37 AM
Okay, not disintegrating, more like... a fraction of my hair doesn’t seem to grow past tailbone. And i hit tailbone Jan 2018, so i feel like i’ve been giving it quite some time to grow, but it’s not. The amount of hair that manages to grow past tailbone is like half of the amount of hair i have just above my tailbone. Does that make sense?
You said that your ends are disintegrating, what exactly do you mean? That word suggests they’re breaking. You stated that there are no splits or white dots, so what’s physically happening to them?
As far as I understand, true fairy tailing is a different thing altogether where perfectly healthy hemlines tail off as the individual hairs reach their naturally varied maximum lengths. I expect that a lot of the “fairy tailing” that we usually see is actually breakage.
Could it be that you are nearing your terminal length and seeing the beginning of true fairytailing? It might be worth hunting out some pictures of what that looks like on other people to normalise it for yourself. It is imo a very beautiful look.
LHC guys - how common is it to see terminal beginning to show around classic length?
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 07:44 AM
Double post
enting
August 18th, 2019, 08:43 AM
Have you changed any of your hair habits/styles? Sometimes hair won't grow well past a certain point unless something changes. This is a common length to have issues at, from what I understand. My hair also thins out more at the ends (I'm hovering around classic) but I don't expect it to become any thicker unless I get better about putting my hair up more. I've been accidentally sitting on the ends quite a lot.
That said, my taper starts from just about an inch or two past my nape. It's a pretty gradual taper, but it increases in taper somewhere around BSL (another tough length to grow well past because of friction) and then again over the last few inches to my ends.
Unless it's a gradual, even taper ending in very wispy fairytailing, (which yours is not) I wouldn't call it terminal. It *is* possible that this is the longest your hair can grow with all the hairs the same length, given your current health and habits. It's also possible that your hair is being spread out more at this length and therefore looks thinner. (Think anatomy. Over most of the back, hair falls together more with gravity, but it might be resting on you a bit more at this length so gravity pulls everything together less.)
If you want to microtrim or do dustings, I'd say you could go for that, but I would stop doing a big cut back to the last blunt length. If some of the hairs are being worn down at the ends and therefore not making it all the way to the length of other hairs, microtrims or dustings could help them make it.
Above all, I'd see if there's any way to protect your hair some more and see if it truly is just as long as some of your hairs can get or if protection can get them just a bit longer.
Beeboo123
August 18th, 2019, 08:49 AM
I don’t wear my hair down, i don’t wear braids, just buns only with giant claw clips, fork, or stick. I only air dry my hair. I sleep with my hair in a silk sleeping cap. I detangle very, very gently. My hair doesn’t feel damaged, which is why I’m at my wits’ end. I can’t think of anything else I can do to overcome this problem :(
Cg
August 18th, 2019, 09:07 AM
I hope you manage to grow as long as you want to, and it seems you are doing just what you should protecting and caring for your hair.
Some on this forum have experience with temporary growth stalls of varying times, and it may be that you are experiencing one. Perhaps if you remain patient and keep doing what you're doing you will be rewarded.
We need to remember, though, that pictures of long-hairs from earlier generations show terminals that vary from around tailbone to past floor. Not everyone can have the length they dream of, and not everyone can have the pretty curls you do but that others dream of.
littlestarface
August 18th, 2019, 09:10 AM
I'm sorry beeboo I know how it is :( Its like majority of hairs have a short terminal but other pieces don't. I hate it.
enting
August 18th, 2019, 10:41 AM
I'm sorry :(. Mechanical damage was the main thing that came to mind. I do wonder if dusting might help even if you don't see/feel any damage, but indeed, it might just be a matter of maximum length for some hairs. Is there anything you can change up nutritionally that you haven't yet looked at?
littlestarface I was thinking of you as I read, I remember you being frustrated by your ends, too. Does anything change how far down the full thickness goes on you, or was it always at the level it's at now?
littlestarface
August 18th, 2019, 10:44 AM
I'm sorry :(. Mechanical damage was the main thing that came to mind. I do wonder if dusting might help even if you don't see/feel any damage, but indeed, it might just be a matter of maximum length for some hairs. Is there anything you can change up nutritionally that you haven't yet looked at?
littlestarface I was thinking of you as I read, I remember you being frustrated by your ends, too. Does anything change how far down the full thickness goes on you, or was it always at the level it's at now?
Nope nothing has changed at all, for some reason my thickness never travels down and iv'e grown to lower calf, stays at the same level.
Sarahlabyrinth
August 18th, 2019, 12:15 PM
Nope nothing has changed at all, for some reason my thickness never travels down and iv'e grown to lower calf, stays at the same level.
Maybe some hair just grows that way? Mine might well be the same, I'll have to continue being patient and see.
MusicalSpoons
August 18th, 2019, 01:02 PM
Okay, not disintegrating, more like... a fraction of my hair doesn’t seem to grow past tailbone. And i hit tailbone Jan 2018, so i feel like i’ve been giving it quite some time to grow, but it’s not. The amount of hair that manages to grow past tailbone is like half of the amount of hair i have just above my tailbone. Does that make sense?
The only way to find out what happns to the rest of your hair when it longer is to let it grow. You might find you don't mind the fairytailing because enough of it is longer, or you might find you hate it with a vengeance and vow never to let it get past TBL ever again - but unless you let it grow out a good length, you won't know. I'd recommend joining a no-trimming challenge, maybe 6 months at least but a year would be better.
Dark40
August 18th, 2019, 02:43 PM
I’ve finally reached classic again, but I’m completely dissatisfied with my hair. I’ve been stuck between tailbone and classic for the longest time. Somehow, my ends just disintegrate and fairytale after tailbone. I keep cutting my hair back, hoping that it will finally grow out properly, but that never works. I don’t take hair photos anymore because I’m so disappointed. I baby my hair, I wear it in protective styles all the time (held up with giant claw clips that don’t cause breakage), I’m so gentle when detangling, and I have no split ends or white dots! I’m fairly sure I’m not breaking any hairs, but I can’t get my hemline to be blunt. I’m so frustrated, you guys. Please help me!
Don't feel bad. I'm frustrated with my hair length right now too. Right now my hair is 2 inches below WL, and it's been stuck there for 6 months. If I were you I would stop the hair cutting. You can do regular small trims but too often. Don't trim off more than what you have to, and your hair will grow a lot longer in no time.
Kalamazoo
August 19th, 2019, 01:57 AM
I was complaining to a group of girlfriends because my hair was so thin. One of them, who was shaved bald (Has she had cancer & chemo?) said, "Be grateful you have hair!"
*Wednesday*
August 20th, 2019, 01:31 PM
You have beautiful hair from what I had last seen a few months back. I’m sure it remains the same. I have this with my ends as well. I just hit BCL with dustings 2 twice per year. My hair personally is fine and cob webby and the ends just look thinner compared to the rest of my hair but the ends are healthy. Your ends in that picture are not unhealthy broken ends. I have a slight curl on the ends. It is what it is. You are not alone in that, feeling frustrated. Don’t over-predict what you think your hair is doing or what it might do. What will be will be. As long as the hair has a nice continuity of health to a nice natural taper is normal. I’m almost sure when people see your hair see the beauty of it. I think you are being overly critical with yourself.
I believe most women with thicker hemlines at classic, reached that length and just maintain it there and the other hairs catch up to create a fuller denser hemline. Also, hair texture plays a big part. People with thicker hair can keep a *thicker* looking hemline at a certain length. As the other’s, I agree to not cut. Just let your hair hang out for a awhile and just give it time. You may be glad that you did.
SleepyTangles
August 20th, 2019, 01:58 PM
Just wanted to say that the ends look very pretty to me. They don´t look scraggly at all, and I think that the natural tapering looks easy to the eye and very harmonious.
If it grows, let it grow. Unless you prefer it blunt, of course :flower:
Beeboo123
August 20th, 2019, 09:29 PM
I have two chunks at the side that stopped getting longer around waist 😭 why can’t all the hairs have the same terminal? Sigh
I'm sorry beeboo I know how it is :( Its like majority of hairs have a short terminal but other pieces don't. I hate it.
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