It FINALLY happened...

[Cherriezzzzz]

I went to the Dr for an infection and he noticed my thick, long, naturally red hair... and even with my husband in the room he proceeded to tell me I should cut off my hair and donate it! If I didn't have the LHC I don't know what I would've said to him. I read a LHC thread once about this, that these comments are common to long haired people. One lady (I wish I knew who!) retorted with something like, "Why don't YOU grow your own hair for years and years and donate it?" And it's precisely what I said to him. My hair is mine, and it irks me a bit to hear other people tell other people what to do in general. It's not even like a person giving good advice. Note: I'm actually not opposed to donation of hair, but NOT the first moment it reaches my bum! I didn't grow it out for someone else to have. I don't like the premise that it's only virtuous if you work hard for something nice then you SHOULD give it away to someone else, unless you want to. As if you're obligated. I don't see most healthy people walking around with one kidney ;) Just an FYI I spoke nicely and smiled and laughed when I said that to the Dr. I wasn't mean. But I couldn't just let that comment go unaddressed. My husband (even my whole family) LOVES MY HAIR. Hubbys as invested and blessed by it as I am. Just odd to me that a man would tell another man's wife especially in front of him to cut off all her hair!? But I realize now that it's just finally happened and I feel like I'm officially a super long haired person. Even though I have the LHC disease of "the ever moving hair length goal." My hair isn't long enough yet! Thank you guys for the ammo to deal with these types of situations!!

[Brethil]

Congrats? It's definitely a sign of long hair when people tell you to cut it all off and give it away.

[bparnell75]

Yeah for you! I can't remember if I have had that said to me. but I always wear my hair up.

[Cg]

I like the way you handled yourself. Cheerful, graceful, and you turned the subject into HIM, not you. Kudos!

[clandestine]

Way to go and handle the situation with grace!

[lapushka]

Gosh I don't know if I personally would have had the nerve or audacity to say that to my doctor. :o I think I would have explained that I was growing it out for myself and that it was a hobby of mine, and perhaps that would have him or her understand. From that perspective.

But congrats for standing up for yourself!

[elfynity]

I do love how you responded. What a chop! However, even though he finally said the thing, it also earns you that first long haired trophy for the comment ' oh your hair is long, I have decided that you should donate it '.

[embee]

Gee whiz, Officious people bug me.

Great response, glad you were able to remember it, I'd have been stunned into silence, I'm sure! The *doctor*.... golly! :)

What did your DH think of his remark?

[harpgal]

Gee whiz, Officious people bug me.

Great response, glad you were able to remember it, I'd have been stunned into silence, I'm sure! The *doctor*.... golly! :)

What did your DH think of his remark?
Me too, embee. I would have been too shocked for words. How rude! But you know doctors; they know everything!

[Begemot]

You handled that situation so well! :thumbsup: I would say the same thing and maybe continue guilt-tripping them if I felt being snide "why don't you grow your hair so you can donate it? how can you be so cruel and selfish and cut all that new hair growth away instead of growing it! apparently no one is allowed to have their hair cut and styled the way they prefer it, it's public property now", and so on.

[cjk]

You were much kinder than I would have been.

[Ligeia Noire]

Same here Cjk.... doctor or not.
Talking about trophies..
We should have a lhc trophy list or something.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I've never had the "you should donate" comment, but then I never really wear it down..... I would just say that my hair is for me and nobody else. (Also I don't think they take silver hair :))

[Garnetgem]

When this happened to me i could only think of a good comment after i have left the room!..you handled it well and yes the donate comments shows how long and healthy your hair is its a kind of compliment even if annoying!

speaking of doctors i had a spinal surgeon tell me off for cutting back from waist to collar length..he was furious and blamed my mum for it who was standing there with me..oh gosh it was so odd!

even doctors speak their mind without thinking of how their comments are taken..but you go girl you said right!

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Congratulations! Your hair is yours. You have invested a lot into it. No joy snatcher should steal that away from you.

Good luck. Enjoy the special gift you have been BLESSED with.

[enting]

I have had this happen once, but LHC prepared me for the moment. Also, the commenter was a friend who had recently donated her hair, so it was more from the point of view of "oh, are you also growing to donate the way I did?" rather than from the point of view of "I did, so you should do it too." I told her I might consider it if it gets long enough that donating would still leave me feeling like I have long hair. Like, waist length after the cut, perhaps.

If it were a doctor... gosh. I'm starting to get to the point where I am brave enough to ask medical people "and how is that in any way relevant to the reason I'm here today?" when they ask or comment on things about my body or life that are really not relevant to the appointment. But not before I answer them honestly first, sigh.

Kudos to you for having the presence of mind to respond!

[MusicalSpoons]

Um, congratulations and commiserations? :hmm: Pretty darned rude of him though, especially in a professional setting with him being in the position of power - very poor form indeed!! :shake: There has been a fairly recent awareness that women are routinely treated worse by doctors when alone than when accompanied by a male; if he had the audacity to say that with your husband present I shudder to think what he might say to unaccompanied women :nono:

I've had the comment once, a couple of years ago from a coworker a little younger than me, and another colleague (older) piped up something along the lines of 'it's her hair, she doesn't need to give it away!' Did make me wonder if this is at least partly a generational thing, because until a couple of years ago donating one's hair wasn't even a thing over here - sponsored hair cuts or head shaves yes, but I'd never heard of donating the hair before.

[MoonRabbit]

Never had this comment said to me in an obvious demanding way. Though my sister once asked if I ever planned on donating it. I simply said not at this time nor in the near future. Didn't bother me because I knew it was only a curious question. But that is the difference, asking rather than telling.

[Liz_H]

My thought for a reply. Ever saved for years to buy a new car or something else? Why don't you sell that and donate the proceeds.

[Wendyclaire]

Good for you! How rude of anyone to say that! I think most of this hair donation thing is a scam. Keep your hair!

[Cherriezzzzz]

Yeah for you! I can't remember if I have had that said to me. but I always wear my hair up.

Yes, this was one of those cases where I was sick... so I had to shower before seeing the Dr and putting up my hair wet... it's just bad haha!

[Cherriezzzzz]

Gee whiz, Officious people bug me.

Great response, glad you were able to remember it, I'd have been stunned into silence, I'm sure! The *doctor*.... golly! :)

What did your DH think of his remark?

My husband and I are of one mind about everything... hmm maybe he's more obsessed with my hair though ;)

[Cherriezzzzz]

Same here Cjk.... doctor or not.
Talking about trophies..
We should have a lhc trophy list or something.

I'm in an odd place with my long hair... everyone actually (for now?!) still loves my hair. I could've said, with a smile, "do you want me to cut my hair off," and have been coy, because I've never run into anyone who didn't absolutely gush over my hair. It's the color and thickness... I've learned that's what the majority of people like having dealt with it my whole life. I could've opened up his eyes to what he was ACTUALLY saying. Then he couldn't enjoy seeing my hair if I took his advice. but I didn't want to make him blush. Besides that I was SICK! I think any and all comments on a woman's appearance in that state is more off limits then most times?

So that being said I'm waiting now for the compliments to stop! That's my next LHC trophy!

[Cherriezzzzz]

I'm STILL not over the illness I went to that Dr for, but I should mention, he's a nice Dr haha! He's actually very personable and wasn't off put by my come back in the least haha! He sort of twirled his fingers around his regular guy hair and made a remark about how they might not want it hahaha! He's from India and he then proceeded to have a conversation about the floor length hair of the women in his country and how they oil, asked if I did. I think he suddenly realized I wasn't "American standards" about my hair? I doubt he's seen long hair here in the U.S. so perhaps that's why he told me to do it? I can't imagine what he was thinking. It was just an abrupt "command"! But again I only knew what to say because of you ALL!! :magic:

[Dark40]

You go girl. That's the way to handle to situation! Your doctor didn't have no right whatsoever to tell you to cu off all your hair, and donate it. I'm not going through all of that hard work in growing it out to just donate it either.

[Loveletters]

My hair’s always been very dense, blonde and healthy. It’s been breaking off since last year because of an unhealthy eating pattern, but it’s still pretty according to many people (I love compliments on it). My hair means a lot to me, I’m attached to it. It makes me feel secure, confident and pretty. So I need it myself too. People at my school often tell me to donate it. Many other girls did it, in my country there are very little people with hair past armpit length. If it’s longer, they immediately expect you to grow it out just to donate it. “You don’t need that much hair, other people do.”, “Don’t you care about cancer patients? Are you really that selfish?”, “Does your appearance mean more to you than someone else’s happiness?”, I’ve heard them all. No, many people I’m close to have had cancer and it’s horrible to go through that. I’ve watched them lose their hair, and felt so bad for them. The people I know wore beanies or scarves instead of wigs though. So it’s DEFINITELY NOT like I don’t care about people with horrible diseases. Also, I know that much hair that they don’t necessarily ‘need’ to make into a wig for a patient is sold to commercial extension/weave brands. Therefore it feels even more off for me to donate it.

[Cherriezzzzz]

I'm so sorry you hear such absolutely awful things! I live in the United States, so it's pretty uncommon to hear other people tell others what to do in general... you'll of course find it because people are jerks everywhere. But my hair is my private property haha! But there's a prevailing attitude of "minding your own business." It might've been why I heard a bossy comment to begin with. India culture probably doesn't think it's rude. He certainly isn't a rude Doctor. I truly just doubt he thought it was inappropriate. But that's half the reason I retorted. You just do not tell American women what to do! Let alone with their hair! Hahaha

[Milady_DeWinter]

I was recently asked if I had long hair to donate it. It was a genuinely curious question from a co-worker so I wasn't offended, in your case I would have probably been way more rude that you were (not smiling AT ALL while saying it). No one has the right to tell you what to do and what not to do with your body. Curiosity is ok, commands are not.