Dealing with long hair doubters

[Bess3714]

Hi everyone! I have a question about how you deal with long hair doubters.
For example, I mentioned to an acquaintance of mine that I would love to have knee length hair. Currently, my hair is around BSL. He responded with, "But hair that long will give you headaches from the weight, and won't it pull out?" He used the example of Amish women who don't cut their hair, and start to go bald.
I told him that I didn't think it was from the weight, but from the tight hairstyle they wear. I even threw in the scientific sounding term traction alopecia (I'm a little proud of myself for remembering it!)
He was trying to be helpful, but I don't think he quite believed me that long hair isn't bad for you! Has anybody else had a similar experience, and what did you do to try to convince them otherwise?

[The-Young-Maid]

It's best to avoid the topic of hair with people outside LHC.

[Cg]

It's best to avoid the topic of hair with people outside LHC.

This. What possible difference could it make whether someone else approves or even understands your personal choices?

[MamaLou]

Well, knee long hair is extreme for people outside of LHC so mentioning it will probably cause some concerned reactions. Convincing people to think different is not fun and if he is just an acquaintance than it's not really worth it. I agree with The-Young-Maid that avoiding the topic of hair is probably the easiest way to deal with it.

[Joules]

Yeah, just avoid talking about hair outside of LHC. And learn to ignore, because long hair gets (unwanted) attention anyway :shrug:

If anyone else mentions bald Amish women to you again, tell them that pretty much all people go bald with time due to a combination of hormonal changes. Elderly people with thick hair are very rare. Please don't respond to me with "but my great-great-great-great grandma is 314 and has thick hair", I said such people are rare, I didn't say they are nonexistent.

[Bess3714]

So I should never mention something I love? That seems a little silly, but okay. To each their own, I guess.

[Cg]

So I should never mention something I love? That seems a little silly, but okay. To each their own, I guess.

There's a pretty big difference between mentioning something you love and trying to "convince them otherwise".

[akurah]

So I should never mention something I love? That seems a little silly, but okay. To each their own, I guess.

We're not saying these things to be jerks. Most of us have talked about long hair to other people. I think very close to all of us, perhaps all of us, have gotten the same response. Don't talk about long hair outside of LHC if you can help it for the most part.

They aren't going to believe you when you talk about traction alopecia. They're not going to believe you if they think trimming makes hair grow faster and you know it to be false. They are going to think you're disgusting if you try water-only on your hair. Etc, etc, etc. Trust us when we tell you don't talk about hair outside LHC. We've been around that block before ourselves.

[Joules]

So I should never mention something I love? That seems a little silly, but okay. To each their own, I guess.

I always thought that no one has to know about every single thing I love. It's just not necessary. Close family yes, very best friends yes, others just don't need to know certain things. People are too obsessed with themselves to even try to understand your tastes. I' rather not waste my energy arguing/listening to unsolicited comments.

That goes for everything, not just hair. My coworkers don't need to know that I cross-stitch while watching Game of Thrones on Saturdays. It's not a vital piece of information that they absolutely must know.

[Bess3714]

I wasn't trying to convince him of anything. I was just having fun telling him about hair stuff! But you guys are probably right about this, as usual.😊

[MamaLou]

I wasn't trying to convince him of anything. I was just having fun telling him about hair stuff! But you guys are probably right about this, as usual.😊

The way you deal with people that do not like long hair is completely up to you. This was just our advice of what has been the easiest for us ;)

[hennalove]

It's best to avoid the topic of hair with people outside LHC.

This 100% and more especially where it comes to the length of hair.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Non-LHCers can make all kinds of nasty comments about hair, such as "Ewww, gross!". And toilet remarks. I know you like talking about long hair, but you can talk to us about it, we understand :) And if you grow knee length hair you will need to grow a thick skin too, to deal with said comments.

[lapushka]

We're not saying these things to be jerks. Most of us have talked about long hair to other people. I think very close to all of us, perhaps all of us, have gotten the same response. Don't talk about long hair outside of LHC if you can help it for the most part.

They aren't going to believe you when you talk about traction alopecia. They're not going to believe you if they think trimming makes hair grow faster and you know it to be false. They are going to think you're disgusting if you try water-only on your hair. Etc, etc, etc. Trust us when we tell you don't talk about hair outside LHC. We've been around that block before ourselves.

They are already going to find it disgusting if you mention hair below the bum (because don't you "wipe" with that haha). Oh... ffffunny.

[Jo Ann]

When a non-LHC-er looks shocked or gives you the "chicken eye*" when you mention something as innocuous as washing your hair only once a week, it's best to change the subject quickly and gracefully...

*chicken eye: https://www.backyardchickens.com/content/type/61/id/6492578/

For some reason, I can't get past "insert picture"

[Nox_Inber]

When a non-LHC-er looks shocked or gives you the "chicken eye*" when you mention something as innocuous as washing your hair only once a week, it's best to change the subject quickly and gracefully...

*chicken eye: https://www.backyardchickens.com/content/type/61/id/6492578/

For some reason, I can't get past "insert picture"

LOL! That's a good one :laugh: Chickens are great animals but they give some serious stink eye.

Whenever someone stares at me in silence over my hair talk I know I've lost them. At that point changing the subject is best. Some people just aren't up for expanding their horizons :)

[Groovy Granny]

When a non-LHC-er looks shocked or gives you the "chicken eye*" when you mention something as innocuous as washing your hair only once a week, it's best to change the subject quickly and gracefully...

*chicken eye: https://www.backyardchickens.com/content/type/61/id/6492578/


:rollin: I love it :thumbsup:

As an older woman with long silver hair, I have learned to DO IT FOR ME :flower:...and no one else!

Yes, it is disappointing when even close family members could care less or make rude remarks....just ignore it :lala:

When I finally stopped seeking their approval or expecting comments about my latest style or hair toy .....which they could care less about and don't even notice....I was much happier.

I also have a long hair daughter who even though she is growing out her color, wants nothing to do with LHC/styles/toys :hmm:....to each their own :shrug:

:wigtongue: to their opinions and even give a 'chicken eye' when needed :p

Enjoy every stage of your hair journey and wear you hair as you are inspired and love to do :cheer:

And of course we have your back here :grouphug:

[pailin]

I think it's ok to talk about hair when the other person brings it up, but just recognize that most people won't understand, and won't have enough interest to care about learning more about it. And that's ok. It's like any other hobby that way.

[Orionis]

I actually talk to one person outside of the LHC community about my long hair goals and that's my boyfriend. He's actually encouraging because he'd love me to grow long hair and has been encouraging me to stop going to the hairdresser's after they repeatedly trimmed off too much of the length I was comfortable with (to date the longest has been BSL).

He's actually impressed with what I'm doing with oils and herbal treatments because he sees I'm serious about taking care of it. I was a vegetarian for 5 years and had a similar experience of people questioning or trying to derail me but I was like whatever, I'm doing this for me and that's all that matters!

They never stopped trying but I always defied them until the day I decided to change my diet for other reasons. So, just be you, stay truer than true, and stick to your guns like you're made out of glue! :toast:

[Skunklover]

My husband is the same way. I just tell him you wait and see.

[Bess3714]

Ha! I have chickens, and I always feel like they're plotting my death. Just so long as they don't plan to cut my hair...

[Bess3714]

I knew a girl once with the most beautiful long, white blonde hair. She almost always wore it down or in a ponytail. Anyway, she said her sister, who had even longer hair, accidently let it fall in the toilet once. My first reaction was 'eww, that's gross!' But I was also a little jealous that her hair was that long!

[enting]

I'm going to be a voice of dissent and say it's okay to talk to people outside of LHC about hair, BUT be prepared for all sorts of negative reactions.

I figure it's like any other intense interest that another person doesn't have. You can choose to only talk to insiders about it and feel safe, or you can chance being seen as weird by others and talk about it there. Most people will eventually get used to you talking about your interest and slack off a bit. Some may even get interested themselves. Some may consult with you about the thing sometime down the line because you seem to know all about it.

If you come across someone who is stuck in their ways and insists that your interest is detrimental and wrong, THEN I would say to never mention it around them.

Dealing with doubters who may not be ultimately stuck in their mindset is done gradually. Over time they may come to see that their view of things was wrong. It's definitely not something that can be dealt with during a single conversation, for most people. On your side, just blithely continue doing what you're doing and let their comments and looks slide off you. They'll figure out that you're happy doing what you're doing and hopefully eventually leave you to it. If you can't let it slide, then I'd agree with the above commenters and stick to the LHC for hair talk.

[spidermom]

Unless somebody is talking absolute nonsense, I don't try to convince anybody of anything. They want to believe long hair will make me go bald, fine - believe it. If all goes according to plan, I'll prove them wrong without saying one word.