Question. Help please?

[Dark40]

Hi all,

I have a question. My hair has been at the same length which is 2 inches below waist length since the end of January of this year. I've noticed I haven't been growing much hair lately. What could be the reason? I've been doing everything to take good care of it. Like, keeping it clean, well-conditioned, co-washes, deep conditioning treatments, and oiling. I haven't been trimming as much. I haven't had a trim since November of last year. What could I be doing wrong?

Have any of you experienced this?

[Ylva]

As far as I remember, you aren't very much into wearing your hair up. For some people's hair, such protective styling in daily life is a necessity for length retention. It's not really fair when it comes to that, others might get away with less.

[Dark40]

Yes, I wear my hair up 90% of the time. The only time I wear it down is when I'm going out. When I'm at home my hair is always up. Or, either in 2 braids. Yeah, you're right it's fair when it comes to a necessity for length retention.

[Ylva]

Yes, I wear my hair up 90% of the time. The only time I wear it down is when I'm going out. When I'm at home my hair is always up. Or, either in 2 braids. Yeah, you're right it's fair when it comes to a necessity for length retention.

I dare to claim your hair takes the most damage precisely when you're out.

[Dark40]

I dare to claim your hair takes the most damage precisely when you're out.

It might be taking most damage precisely when I'm out. I'll try to wear it up more when I'm out then. To correct you my hair isn't going through any damage. It's just going through a stall.

[Ylva]

It might be taking most damage precisely when I'm out. I'll try to wear it up more when I'm out then. To correct you my hair isn't going through any damage. It's just going through a stall.

Are you sure about that?

It's much more likely that your hair is breaking off from the ends than stalling in growth for half a year. Either way, you might want to re-evaluate your nutrition and lifestyle. It won't hurt at least.

[Little Lemon]

My hair is in a stall too. It has grown 1.5 inches (3.8 cm) in 6 months. I should have been at 3 inches (7.6 cm). I’m watching my roots as color grows out, so I know it’s slow growth, not breakage. If anyone has advice for you, I’d love to hear it too.

[Ligeia Noire]

Would you say you wear it up more than down? That could certainly be the culprit but it could also be because your hair is super curly and the relaxing process causes some damage? My hair is alsp kind of stalling a bit. Sometimes, it is just the nature of the beast. It slows down and sometimes it has spurts. Definitely trying to wear it up and not worrying too much about it works for me..

[AutobotsAttack]

You’ve mentioned in the relaxed hair thread, that you’re considering going natural, and haven’t relaxed since the end of January. Now you’re having issues with no noticeable growth, since the end of this January.

Whenever you decide to stop relaxing, the natural texture you have, and the previously relaxed straight ends, cause a demarcation line where they meet. The more you transition towards completely natural hair, the more the relaxed hair will inevitably break off, and it WILL break off.

Either you can just let the straight relaxed parts break off, or you slowly trim them away, or cut it all off at once, or continue to relax, but maybe one or two times more frequently. If you choose to continue to go natural, I wouldn’t be expecting to see much length, until most or all of the straight ends are gone.

There’s only so much protein, moisture, and deep conditioning can do, because you’re dealing with a very weak area at the demarcation line. Only thing I can suggest is keeping your hair up more, and mitigating how much manipulation and stress you put on your hair.

I think it’s worth mentioning because, everyone else who comments on this thread probably doesn’t know that you chemically straighten, or well, used to regularly straighten.

Relaxed hair operates a bit differently. So it helps to keep that in mind when assessing any issues.

[Dark40]

You’ve mentioned in the relaxed hair thread, that you’re considering going natural, and haven’t relaxed since the end of January. Now you’re having issues with no noticeable growth, since the end of this January.

Whenever you decide to stop relaxing, the natural texture you have, and the previously relaxed straight ends, cause a demarcation line where they meet. The more you transition towards completely natural hair, the more the relaxed hair will inevitably break off, and it WILL break off.

Either you can just let the straight relaxed parts break off, or you slowly trim them away, or cut it all off at once, or continue to relax, but maybe one or two times more frequently. If you choose to continue to go natural, I wouldn’t be expecting to see much length, until most or all of the straight ends are gone.

There’s only so much protein, moisture, and deep conditioning can do, because you’re dealing with a very weak area at the demarcation line. Only thing I can suggest is keeping your hair up more, and mitigating how much manipulation and stress you put on your hair.

I think it’s worth mentioning because, everyone else who comments on this thread probably doesn’t know that you chemically straighten, or well, used to regularly straighten.

Relaxed hair operates a bit differently. So it helps to keep that in mind when assessing any issues.

I totally agree with you with everything you've said. I'm leaning more towards continuing the relaxing. There are a couple of others on here that knew I chemically relaxed my hair. But I think I'm going to go on ahead and do it. Because, I don't want to go through having the relaxed hair either break off or having to cut it, and losing length after all of the hard work I have put into growing it this long for so many years.

[AutobotsAttack]

I totally agree with you with everything you've said. I'm leaning more towards continuing the relaxing. There are a couple of others on here that knew I chemically relaxed my hair. But I think I'm going to go on ahead and do it. Because, I don't want to go through having the relaxed hair either break off or having to cut it, and losing length after all of the hard work I have put into growing it this long for so many years.

I try to stretch every six months, but on the occasion that I’m experiencing demarcation breakage, I go ahead and relax to mitigate it. It helps to keep your new growth separated and detangled too. As much as you can.

[blackgothicdoll]

From what I've seen of your posts, you relax, dye, and you use heat multiple times a week. You're probably at terminal length from the combination of damage you're inflicting to your hair. I'd suggest giving up dye, heat or both. I think most people wouldn't even make it to waist length inflicting that much damage upon their hair, but it goes without saying that removing a source of damage will allow you to retain longer milestones. Otherwise it's likely your hair is breaking at the same rate it's growing.

[lapushka]

Hi all,

I have a question. My hair has been at the same length which is 2 inches below waist length since the end of January of this year. I've noticed I haven't been growing much hair lately. What could be the reason? I've been doing everything to take good care of it. Like, keeping it clean, well-conditioned, co-washes, deep conditioning treatments, and oiling. I haven't been trimming as much. I haven't had a trim since November of last year. What could I be doing wrong?

Have any of you experienced this?

But didn't you mention in another thread how fast it was growing? Now I'm confused. Or I'm just not reading things properly. :hmm:

[MusicalSpoons]

But didn't you mention in another thread how fast it was growing? Now I'm confused. Or I'm just not reading things properly. :hmm:

From what some of Dark40's posts I think the growth rate comes from how much hair has grown in between relaxers :)

Dark40 I'm really glad you've asked the question, and I hope you are able to use some of the advice already given on this thread. I agree with AutobotsAttack and blackgothicdoll that the damage you are doing outweighs the care you put into your hair. I also think that maybe your washing frequency might not be helping - I can't remember exactly how often you wash your hair (i.e. get it all wet and apply products, even if you don't shampoo every time) but for fragile hair having undergone all the chemical and heat damage yours has, it might just be too much. For me with my virgin hair, washing the whole lengths a lot less frequently has really helped me retain more of the longest hairs, and I think if you are able to stop wetting and drying your hair so often, it might help some of your oldest hairs hold on a little bit longer.

Also protective styles. They are a must. And you might not even need to comb or brush your hair every day; I know a lot of wavy and curly people don't brush or comb often or at all apart from wash day, and I've recently been finding that I'm able to go a day or two without detangling because my hair lives in buns all the time.

Ultimately though, you can only do so much to help but if you continue with the chemical and heat damage, your hair just won't hold on past a certain point. You will have to decide whether you really want longer hair and can give up at least one damaging thing, but if you can give up more than one then even better. If you really feel you must continue relaxing for manageability, then you can't keep dyeing it *and* blow-drying it hot enough to make it straighter *and* expect it to grow much longer :flower:

Oh also, somebody mentioned terminal length - just to clarify, a terminal length due to hair breaking off is known as a false terminal. It's not that your hair cannot ever grow any longer, but with the current circumstances the ends can't hold on to show any length gains. People who wear their hair down all the time often find a false terminal at whatever length their hair starts rubbing against seats, for example; it's a very common experience but the key is knowing what to do about it :)

[lapushka]

From what some of Dark40's posts I think the growth rate comes from how much hair has grown in between relaxers :)

Could be, MusicalSpoons, but still I seem to recall her really being excited (this year) about her growth. Isn't that the oddest thing? :hmm: And I can't quite recollect where I read it either.


Ultimately though, you can only do so much to help but if you continue with the chemical and heat damage, your hair just won't hold on past a certain point. You will have to decide whether you really want longer hair and can give up at least one damaging thing, but if you can give up more than one then even better. If you really feel you must continue relaxing for manageability, then you can't keep dyeing it *and* blow-drying it hot enough to make it straighter *and* expect it to grow much longer :flower:

Oh also, somebody mentioned terminal length - just to clarify, a terminal length due to hair breaking off is known as a false terminal. It's not that your hair cannot ever grow any longer, but with the current circumstances the ends can't hold on to show any length gains. People who wear their hair down all the time often find a false terminal at whatever length their hair starts rubbing against seats, for example; it's a very common experience but the key is knowing what to do about it :)

I tend to agree with that. Chemical processes are notorious and come and bite you in the butt at *some* point. If you overdo it on those, most certainly (not saying you are, but I did at some point in time). So I'm talking with some experience on the issue.

I'm still eager on that picture, Dark. Because pretty long relaxed hair = rare and has got to be amazing! I keep asking you, but you keep ignoring the question. :lol: I don't want to be annoying, and if you don't want to put a picture up that's fine too.

[Wendyclaire]

That’s just a natural way hair is. We all go through times like that. Sheds or stalls are due to life. Buns are not an option or protective for some of us and in fact more damaging to the scalp.

[blackgothicdoll]

Oh also, somebody mentioned terminal length - just to clarify, a terminal length due to hair breaking off is known as a false terminal. It's not that your hair cannot ever grow any longer, but with the current circumstances the ends can't hold on to show any length gains. People who wear their hair down all the time often find a false terminal at whatever length their hair starts rubbing against seats, for example; it's a very common experience but the key is knowing what to do about it :)

Yes, this is what I was referring to. I was too lazy to type false because I was mentioning damage in the same sentence so I hoped that transferred over.

[MusicalSpoons]

Yes, this is what I was referring to. I was too lazy to type false because I was mentioning damage in the same sentence so I hoped that transferred over.

Yup, I know you know but thought it best to make it absolutely clear beyond any doubt for the OP, just to avoid any potential confusion :)

[Dark40]

I try to stretch every six months, but on the occasion that I’m experiencing demarcation breakage, I go ahead and relax to mitigate it. It helps to keep your new growth separated and detangled too. As much as you can.

Ok, I was also thinking about stretching our my relaxers to six months too. Because, with my hair type which is 2c/3a hair I don't need to relax it as often. Oh yeah, I don't blame you for going on ahead and relaxing it since you're experiencing demarcation breakage. Yes, it's always good to go on ahead and relax it to mitigate it. I bet it does help to keep your new growth separated and detangled. As much as you can.

[Dark40]

From what I've seen of your posts, you relax, dye, and you use heat multiple times a week. You're probably at terminal length from the combination of damage you're inflicting to your hair. I'd suggest giving up dye, heat or both. I think most people wouldn't even make it to waist length inflicting that much damage upon their hair, but it goes without saying that removing a source of damage will allow you to retain longer milestones. Otherwise it's likely your hair is breaking at the same rate it's growing.

Let me correct you on something....first, I don't relax my hair that often. Only 2 or 3 times a year, and I haven't dyed my hair in a year. So, I've got some demarcation from the old dye. So, I totally disagree with you on me being at terminal length, and my hair does not look, feel, or appear damaged. I know you've seen on several of my posts that I use heat but not multiple times a week. Come on, I only use a little heat 3 times out of a week, and that's only for 5 minutes.

[Dark40]

But didn't you mention in another thread how fast it was growing? Now I'm confused. Or I'm just not reading things properly. :hmm:

Yes, I did mention in another thread how fast it was growing but that was a couple of months ago. It's going through a stall right now.

[Dark40]

Could be, MusicalSpoons, but still I seem to recall her really being excited (this year) about her growth. Isn't that the oddest thing? :hmm: And I can't quite recollect where I read it either.



I tend to agree with that. Chemical processes are notorious and come and bite you in the butt at *some* point. If you overdo it on those, most certainly (not saying you are, but I did at some point in time). So I'm talking with some experience on the issue.

I'm still eager on that picture, Dark. Because pretty long relaxed hair = rare and has got to be amazing! I keep asking you, but you keep ignoring the question. :lol: I don't want to be annoying, and if you don't want to put a picture up that's fine too.

lapushka, I'm about not putting the picture up, and I'm also sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring the question. I can't put not picture up. Because, I don't have the proper camera. No cell phone or anything.

[AutobotsAttack]

lapushka, I'm about not putting the picture up, and I'm also sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring the question. I can't put not picture up. Because, I don't have the proper camera. No cell phone or anything.

However you posted the pictures on your album, just do the same thing, but turn around, so we can see your length, and better assess the situation. Otherwise you could just have someone in your family take a picture and send it to your computer and upload it.

[AmaryllisRed]

Is it possible that the treatments you are doing could be disguising the damage and that's why your hair doesn't appear or feel damaged?
After so many years of growing, you would expect to be much longer than waist length, especially with your growth rate. Something must be going on.
Also, I think it's all relative. Relaxing 2-3 times a year might not seem like much to you, but to me it sounds like a lot. :)

[lapushka]

Yes, I did mention in another thread how fast it was growing but that was a couple of months ago. It's going through a stall right now.

I thought so! But you said in your OP you have been experiencing the stall since January, see that's where I'm confused.

[Dark40]

However you posted the pictures on your album, just do the same thing, but turn around, so we can see your length, and better assess the situation. Otherwise you could just have someone in your family take a picture and send it to your computer and upload it.

Yes, that's true. Ok, I will try to get someone else to take the picture but with me turned around so that you guys can see my length so you can better assess the situation.

[Dark40]

I thought so! But you said in your OP you have been experiencing the stall since January, see that's where I'm confused.

Why are you confused about that? I don't understand. I guess throughout my longhair journey I'll be going through stallls even though my hair is healthy.

[Dark40]

Is it possible that the treatments you are doing could be disguising the damage and that's why your hair doesn't appear or feel damaged?
After so many years of growing, you would expect to be much longer than waist length, especially with your growth rate. Something must be going on.
Also, I think it's all relative. Relaxing 2-3 times a year might not seem like much to you, but to me it sounds like a lot. :)

No, I don't think that's the case. I've learned that no matter what treatments you use it cannot disguise the damage or repair it. I'm not a professional but I know the difference between damaged hair and healthy hair.

Look, I don't think relaxing your hair 2-3 times a year isn't that much at all. As long as you take good care of it. You don't understand my hair type. So, you're not going to understand why I relax. I relax it for manageability. So, that when it gets wet or even when it's dry I can put a comb or a brush through it. It is much harder to comb and brush naturally curly hair other than straight hair. :)

[AmaryllisRed]

All I'm saying is, if it's not growing, something is wrong. Right?
We are hair twins, aren't we? Aren't you the one with hair like Susan Haskell? So am I! So I do know about that hair type. :)
And didn't you post in March that you had been having a growth spurt? Or have I confused you with someone else?

[lapushka]

All I'm saying is, if it's not growing, something is wrong. Right?
We are hair twins, aren't we? Aren't you the one with hair like Susan Haskell? So am I! So I do know about that hair type. :)
And didn't you post in March that you had been having a growth spurt? Or have I confused you with someone else?

I had been addressing the same thing, see above (about the spurt).

[lapushka]

Why are you confused about that? I don't understand. I guess throughout my longhair journey I'll be going through stallls even though my hair is healthy.

Doesn't one contradict the other? Or is it me? :suspect:

[Dark40]

All I'm saying is, if it's not growing, something is wrong. Right?
We are hair twins, aren't we? Aren't you the one with hair like Susan Haskell? So am I! So I do know about that hair type. :)
And didn't you post in March that you had been having a growth spurt? Or have I confused you with someone else?

Yes, if it's not growing something is wrong. Yes, I'm so sorry I forgot that we are hair twins. :) Yes, we both do have hair like Susan Haskell. :) So, yes you do know that hair type, and yes I did say in March that I had been having a growth spurt. I have been having some health problems. No, you haven't confused me with no one else. But I remember at one point Susan Haskell had gotten her hair straightened some kind of way. Because, I remember on the story OLTL when she married Patrick Thorneheart her hairstyle was pin-straight. But then at another point she went back to her natural curl/wavy hair.:)

[Dark40]

From what some of Dark40's posts I think the growth rate comes from how much hair has grown in between relaxers :)

Dark40 I'm really glad you've asked the question, and I hope you are able to use some of the advice already given on this thread. I agree with AutobotsAttack and blackgothicdoll that the damage you are doing outweighs the care you put into your hair. I also think that maybe your washing frequency might not be helping - I can't remember exactly how often you wash your hair (i.e. get it all wet and apply products, even if you don't shampoo every time) but for fragile hair having undergone all the chemical and heat damage yours has, it might just be too much. For me with my virgin hair, washing the whole lengths a lot less frequently has really helped me retain more of the longest hairs, and I think if you are able to stop wetting and drying your hair so often, it might help some of your oldest hairs hold on a little bit longer.

Also protective styles. They are a must. And you might not even need to comb or brush your hair every day; I know a lot of wavy and curly people don't brush or comb often or at all apart from wash day, and I've recently been finding that I'm able to go a day or two without detangling because my hair lives in buns all the time.

Ultimately though, you can only do so much to help but if you continue with the chemical and heat damage, your hair just won't hold on past a certain point. You will have to decide whether you really want longer hair and can give up at least one damaging thing, but if you can give up more than one then even better. If you really feel you must continue relaxing for manageability, then you can't keep dyeing it *and* blow-drying it hot enough to make it straighter *and* expect it to grow much longer :flower:

Oh also, somebody mentioned terminal length - just to clarify, a terminal length due to hair breaking off is known as a false terminal. It's not that your hair cannot ever grow any longer, but with the current circumstances the ends can't hold on to show any length gains. People who wear their hair down all the time often find a false terminal at whatever length their hair starts rubbing against seats, for example; it's a very common experience but the key is knowing what to do about it :)

Yes, you are right about the growth rate in between relaxers. :) Thank you for saying that you're glad I asked the question. Yes, I totally agree with Autobotsattack.

[blackgothicdoll]

I know you've seen on several of my posts that I use heat but not multiple times a week. Come on, I only use a little heat 3 times out of a week, and that's only for 5 minutes.

But 3 times is more than once. So 3 would be multiple times a week....

[blackgothicdoll]

Mathemarics set aside, if you relax or dye your hair it's damaged, that's the science of a chemical process. I think it's by miracle that your type 2c3a hair can survive a single relaxer, or that your relaxer makes your 2c3a hair become 3c before you blow dry it straight, but if we want to continue to entertain that then maybe understand that your hair is damaged whether you feel it is or not.

Heat, chemicals and friction all damage hair, even virgin hair can be damaged by purely physical abuse. The trick of retaining hair is limiting avenues of damage.

[Dark40]

But 3 times is more than once. So 3 would be multiple times a week....

Yeah, I know that....

[Dark40]

Well, thank you but I disagree.

[hennalove]

Doesn't one contradict the other? Or is it me? :suspect:

Late to the conversation. I can relate to having healthy hair (I don't use heat or chemical treatments) but I henna. I have a stall in growth although sometimes it is more of a perceived stall than actual stall. It's hard to tel because I don't measure each month. If there is a stall in growth, it could be stress or other health issue that slows hair growth even though the hair is healthy. It could be a change in supplements or dietary change too. I think there are many reasons why hair growth can stall even slightly.

To the OP: from what I read your hair is damaged regardless whether you feel it is healthy. The summer heat likely isn't helping. Even when I was using a flat iron, I would only use it at most twice a month and only in the winter months AND I still had damage. Not a lot but it was there. If you are relaxing then flat ironing three times a week even if for only 5 minutes, you are still damaging already damaged hair. So you are likely at a false terminal length. The only way to deal with this is to stop using heat and grow out the damage or cut off the damage.

[Ylva]

Well, thank you but I disagree.

You disagree with all the advice you have been given. What do you want to hear?

You've relaxed and dyed your hair. It is damaged. This is a fact. Hair does not come out of chemical treatments undamaged. It can be more or less damaged, but it is damaged, and that damage gets ever worse if you do multiple chemical treatments. Again, this is fact. I have both damaged and relatively healthy bleached hair, but even the healthy bits are still damaged to a degree and not as strong as my virgin hair. Even if you relax and dye the regrowth only, those chemicals still wash over your previously treated hair and do a little bit of damage each time. Also, it's impossible to completely avoid overlapping, so some hairs will inevitably break off as a result of those chemical treatments.

Since you have naturally curly hair, your impression of what healthy straight(ish) hair feels like might be skewed. Not sure if that is the case, just suggesting.

I thought you created this thread to seek advice and to get back to retaining length again. It won't help if we just pat you on the back and say "it'll be alright, just keep doing what you're doing".

[AutobotsAttack]

Well, thank you but I disagree.

I really hate to sound rude or snide or whatever third negative thing you can think of, but every single person here, including myself have told you nothing but legit facts. I haven't been as frequent, or posting as frequent content or findings in the Relaxed Hair Thread, but I think im going to. I have a bunch of notes that I feel should be shared, since I feel like I have enough expertise on the matter. If and when you get to my length, I would strongly recommend you cut out any and all heat. Period. I would also suggest you ditch most utensils used for brushing or combing. My hair is sooooo not perfect, and towards the end of this year, it looks like ill be just making it to upper thigh/barely FTL, and after that ill be solely maintaining/trimming at that length for maybe a solid year. Could I make it to full thigh? Maybe even knee? Sure. But aesthetically speaking it would be very layered and choppy by the time I made it there, even if I further reduced how much I touched or manipulated my hair. I'm talking months worth of not touching it. That's with me continuing to use chemicals.

If you'd like I could show you my current pictures I've taken to see if you're having somewhat similar issues. I know it helps to have a bit of a visual. I too have been dealing with breakage, not too much, but my right side is longer than my left by a couple of inches, and I have been slacking on protein treatments for the last couple of weeks.

I think you mentioned that its fairly easy for you to finger detangle, so I think the transition to going tool-less would be beneficial for you. As many others have stated, you cannot have your cake and eat it too, especially when you introduce chemicals to your hair.

I know you might think you're the exception when it comes to being able to chemically treat your hair and do a lot of manipulation, AND use heat, but clearly the truth of life is proving that assumption wrong, since you've come to a halt concerning noticeable hair growth.

I myself have also come to realize this, hence why aside from regularly washing and conditioning my hair, and trying to keep up with frequent and needed protein treatments, I refuse to let myself handle my hair more than necessary. I occasionally like to do stuff once or twice a year for my birthday or the holidays, and I like to swim and get my hair wet in the pool and the ocean, but the other like 300+ days of the year, all I am doing is mitigating the ratio of growth to damage. And I think it would help if you did the same, or at least spent some months heavily assessing your hair and the choices you make.


Otherwise, every time you post, eventually, a lot of people who give advice are just going to become frustrated with you, or just stop replying entirely. We are all just trying to help. Again not trying to rude or mean or anything, but there's been a lot of posts you've made, expressing similar or same concerns, with similar or same replies.

[GrowlingCupcake]

Even though you stretch relaxers, you are still damaging your hair. Hair does not heal so that damage does not go away.

You said you stopped dyeing a year ago. So, if you grow at an average rate, that's about 6 inches. Those six inches are undamaged by dye but the rest of your hair, the lengths, the ends, are not. Again, hair does not heal so that damage will not go away.

If you blow dry your hair on hot - no matter how often - you are damaging it. If you have to blow dry your hair, do it on a cool setting. Hot = damage. Damage = not going away.

So, at this point, your lengths, and ends have been damaged by relaxers, heat, and dye. So yeah, they're going to be way more fragile. If you want to see whether or not your hair is growing, just keep an eye on your demarcation line; if that demarcation line continues to move because new growth is coming in, you're not at a stall. If it does not move because there is no new growth or very slow new growth, you are at a stall.

I dye my hair, and that definitely damages it but I also do not relax or use heat at all so just the one thing isn't a big issue. Maybe pick the one you feel you require the most.

Here's the thing, you basically have two options because you're going to get the same advice from everyone:
1) Continue as you are, and hope it's just a stall.
2) Take our advice, recognise that your hair has been damaged by the various chemical, and heat treatments, and try to avoid damaging your ends/length, and your new growth more.

[Dark40]

You disagree with all the advice you have been given. What do you want to hear?

You've relaxed and dyed your hair. It is damaged. This is a fact. Hair does not come out of chemical treatments undamaged. It can be more or less damaged, but it is damaged, and that damage gets ever worse if you do multiple chemical treatments. Again, this is fact. I have both damaged and relatively healthy bleached hair, but even the healthy bits are still damaged to a degree and not as strong as my virgin hair. Even if you relax and dye the regrowth only, those chemicals still wash over your previously treated hair and do a little bit of damage each time. Also, it's impossible to completely avoid overlapping, so some hairs will inevitably break off as a result of those chemical treatments.

Since you have naturally curly hair, your impression of what healthy straight(ish) hair feels like might be skewed. Not sure if that is the case, just suggesting.

I thought you created this thread to seek advice and to get back to retaining length again. It won't help if we just pat you on the back and say "it'll be alright, just keep doing what you're doing".

No, I was not meaning that I disagreed with the advice I've been given here. I was disagreeing with blackgothicdoll's OP. I was not referring to everyone here. I really appreciate you all trying to help. But I have to disagree with if you relax your hair you have damaged hair. You've seen me post in another thread stating that I've had relaxed hair since I was 7 years old, and I've still been able to grow long hair. Because, of course when you have relaxed hair you are going to need to condition more often and keep the hair moisturized.

[Ylva]

No, I was not meaning that I disagreed with the advice I've been given here. I was disagreeing with blackgothicdoll's OP. I was not referring to everyone here. I really appreciate you all trying to help. But I have to disagree with if you relax your hair you have damaged hair. You've seen me post in another thread stating that I've had relaxed hair since I was 7 years old, and I've still been able to grow long hair. Because, of course when you have relaxed hair you are going to need to condition more often and keep the hair moisturized.

Sometimes conditioning just isn't enough to save you from a false terminal length. Relaxing permanently alters the structure of the hair so of course it's damaging. It's one of the most damaging things you can do to your hair, alongside bleaching. On top of that, you have dyed your hair, so that's two chemical treatments!

You don't have the same hair on your head anymore as you did when you were 7 years old, or when you were 20 years old, or 35... Your hair hasn't grown past waist length, so there is an obvious problem in what you're doing. But it won't become any better before you recognise and come to terms with the damage you're doing to your hair.

[lapushka]

You don't have the same hair on your head anymore as you did when you were 7 years old, or when you were 20 years old, or 35... Your hair hasn't grown past waist length, so there is an obvious problem in what you're doing. But it won't become any better before you recognise and come to terms with the damage you're doing to your hair.

Dark, do you have the stomach to grow it out? Maybe try to forego a relaxer for an entire year, less damage, and you can see what your actual texture is like; maybe you'll like it. People change, especially when you're 7 you hardly have memories about what your hair was like, IMO.

[Dark40]

Dark, do you have the stomach to grow it out? Maybe try to forego a relaxer for an entire year, less damage, and you can see what your actual texture is like; maybe you'll like it. People change, especially when you're 7 you hardly have memories about what your hair was like, IMO.

Yes, I have the stomach to grow it out! Hey, it's been 6 months since I haven't had a relaxer. It was a nice suggestion but gotta continue doing the relaxers twice a year so my ends don't break off. If you don't keep it up it will break off, and I will have to cut it off. I can see what my natural hair texture is like now after it has been 6 months. Yes, you're right. People do change but I do remember what my hair was like when I was 7. I know it was along time ago but I do remember, IMO.

[Ylva]

Yes, I have the stomach to grow it out! Hey, it's been 6 months since I haven't had a relaxer. It was a nice suggestion but gotta continue doing the relaxers twice a year so my ends don't break off. If you don't keep it up it will break off, and I will have to cut it off. I can see what my natural hair texture is like now after it has been 6 months. Yes, you're right. People do change but I do remember what my hair was like when I was 7. I know it was along time ago but I do remember, IMO.

Doesn't it feel a bit poo to have to keep relaxing? I mean, it's going to be an endless cycle which will probably keep contributing to your false terminal length.

[blackgothicdoll]

I think that is case by case, but when I'm on a computer I'll link herlucidsky's fotki. She started at around BSL relaxed and her hair is now past FTL. She transitioned without doing a big chop, so I don't think it's a rule to have to. It's definitely a challenge, I chopped after a year because I couldn't stand the two textures.

My sister was able to transition without chopping. She literally just stopped. Her hair was not relaxed bone straight, though. This could also make a difference.

Giving up a relaxer is the last thing I ever convince a person to try to do, unless I feel they clearly don't need it. Relaxing 3a hair is just absurd, it can be straightened without heat using wrapping so.....why bother. In general cases though, growing out a relaxer takes a lot of thought and patience. It would be easier to grow out the dye and stop using heat.

[Spikey]

It seems like you rely on the relaxer most of all, and don't want to change the way you treat your hair. So, why not start by cutting out just one thing? Don't dye or use heat on your hair for 2 whole years, and see where that puts you. Unless you cheat, you should notice some improvement, even if the relaxer is still damaging your hair.

[Dark40]

Doesn't it feel a bit poo to have to keep relaxing? I mean, it's going to be an endless cycle which will probably keep contributing to your false terminal length.

Yeah, it does feel a bit poo to have to keep relaxing. Well, I've known a couple of people in the world that have chemically processed hair, and it was extremely long and healthy. If you google it it says that there is a such thing as have healthy relaxed hair. It's according to weekly protein treatments and deep conditioning treatments. They do help with minimizing the damage. I know you've said in your OP that it doesn't matter how much you condition your hair it is still damaged. That is not true. It does matter. I know with me deep conditioning twice a week has helped to minimize the damage.

[Dark40]

Oh, I've got some good news guys! Yesterday I washed my hair, and it felt and looked longer! So, now it looks like the growth has picked back up again! :)

[blackgothicdoll]

:confused: whatever

[MusicalSpoons]

Dark40 we know relaxed hair can be relatively healthy, enough to grow long - AutobotsAttack issue our very own example of that! (I know we have some other relaxed longhairs but I can't remember who right now, sorry.) But there is a huge difference between hair that has only been relaxed, and hair that has been relaxed, dyed, and subjected to heat. That's three lots of damage. A relaxer by itself is only one lot of damage (and yes can be minimised. We know that). However:

Three lots of damage CANNOT be minimised anywhere near the same extent as just one lot.

People with two lots of damage (dye + heat) usually can't grow their hair very long, and certainly can't without protective styles, so you with three lots of damage should not be surprised that it's breaking off and not retaining new length.

I'm not even saying you should give up the relaxer (though if you could, I'm sure your hair would do better in the long run) but just recognise you need to choose between keeping your current routine *or* having longer hair. If you really truly want longer hair, you'll have to give up something - what you choose to give up would be up to you. But your current routine clearly isn't working to retain new length, so if you want your hair to get longer you need to actually change something :shrug:

[blackgothicdoll]

Oh, I've got some good news guys! Yesterday I washed my hair, and it felt and looked longer! So, now it looks like the growth has picked back up again! :)


Dark40 we know relaxed hair can be relatively healthy, enough to grow long - AutobotsAttack issue our very own example of that! (I know we have some other relaxed longhairs but I can't remember who right now, sorry.) But there is a huge difference between hair that has only been relaxed, and hair that has been relaxed, dyed, and subjected to heat. That's three lots of damage. A relaxer by itself is only one lot of damage (and yes can be minimised. We know that). However:

Three lots of damage CANNOT be minimised anywhere near the same extent as just one lot.

People with two lots of damage (dye + heat) usually can't grow their hair very long, and certainly can't without protective styles, so you with three lots of damage should not be surprised that it's breaking off and not retaining new length.

I'm not even saying you should give up the relaxer (though if you could, I'm sure your hair would do better in the long run) but just recognise you need to choose between keeping your current routine *or* having longer hair. If you really truly want longer hair, you'll have to give up something - what you choose to give up would be up to you. But your current routine clearly isn't working to retain new length, so if you want your hair to get longer you need to actually change something :shrug:

Her hair's growing again though, you see. She didn't need our help, she just needed a couple of days for her 6 month stall to end.:o

Why do we keep feeding this troll? it's somewhat entertaining but it also hurts my brain cells

[lapushka]

How can you tell *so* quickly that your hair is growing again, in a matter of days, though?

This is all too confusing for me, TBH!

[The-Young-Maid]

Yeah my hair looks longer after I wash it too...

It's because of texture not growth.

But seriously you need to decide if you'd rather have long hair or a certain style. If you were only doing one thing to damage it that'd be fine. We all do something to our hair that makes our life easier. I wear mine down everyday and use a fan to dry it. Arguably on the lower end of the damage spectrum but I'm okay with that amount of damage. You are damaging your hair in the worst ways possible frequently. That will certainly give you damage. And damage is cumulative.

I suspect that your hair isn't breaking off because you "need" to relax it. It's that your new growth is much stronger than the rest and the demarcation line is a weak point. The rest of the damage is from color/heat/rough handling. You need to reevaluate your routine and set realistic goals.

damn i finally took the bait lol

[AutobotsAttack]

Dark40 we know relaxed hair can be relatively healthy, enough to grow long - AutobotsAttack issue our very own example of that! (I know we have some other relaxed longhairs but I can't remember who right now, sorry.) But there is a huge difference between hair that has only been relaxed, and hair that has been relaxed, dyed, and subjected to heat. That's three lots of damage. A relaxer by itself is only one lot of damage (and yes can be minimised. We know that). However:

Three lots of damage CANNOT be minimised anywhere near the same extent as just one lot.

People with two lots of damage (dye + heat) usually can't grow their hair very long, and certainly can't without protective styles, so you with three lots of damage should not be surprised that it's breaking off and not retaining new length.

I'm not even saying you should give up the relaxer (though if you could, I'm sure your hair would do better in the long run) but just recognise you need to choose between keeping your current routine *or* having longer hair. If you really truly want longer hair, you'll have to give up something - what you choose to give up would be up to you. But your current routine clearly isn't working to retain new length, so if you want your hair to get longer you need to actually change something :shrug:

Thank you for the mention!

But I completely agree.

[AutobotsAttack]

Her hair's growing again though, you see. She didn't need our help, she just needed a couple of days for her 6 month stall to end.:o

Why do we keep feeding this troll? it's somewhat entertaining but it also hurts my brain cells


I’m glad I’m not the only one who had this in the back of their head. I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt

[AutobotsAttack]

Double post. Apologies.

[Dark40]

Dark40 we know relaxed hair can be relatively healthy, enough to grow long - AutobotsAttack issue our very own example of that! (I know we have some other relaxed longhairs but I can't remember who right now, sorry.) But there is a huge difference between hair that has only been relaxed, and hair that has been relaxed, dyed, and subjected to heat. That's three lots of damage. A relaxer by itself is only one lot of damage (and yes can be minimised. We know that). However:

Three lots of damage CANNOT be minimised anywhere near the same extent as just one lot.

People with two lots of damage (dye + heat) usually can't grow their hair very long, and certainly can't without protective styles, so you with three lots of damage should not be surprised that it's breaking off and not retaining new length.

I'm not even saying you should give up the relaxer (though if you could, I'm sure your hair would do better in the long run) but just recognise you need to choose between keeping your current routine *or* having longer hair. If you really truly want longer hair, you'll have to give up something - what you choose to give up would be up to you. But your current routine clearly isn't working to retain new length, so if you want your hair to get longer you need to actually change something :shrug:

MusicalSpoons I was just trying to get yall to understand that you can still have healthy growing relaxed hair. Relaxed hair does not mean it's damaged. I mean, it can get damaged if you don't know what you are doing on how to do he process, and let me correct yall.....I have not been using any heat or dye on my relaxed hair. I haven't used dye on my hair in 2 years. It has grown out. Where have you seen me post anything on here about using heat and dye on my hair? You got me confused with someone else. And, I have seen and read Autobotsattack's post in here about how you can still have healthy growing relaxing hair.

[Ylva]

The fact that the hair's texture changes is definite proof of damage. You can't achieve that without damaging the hair. So relaxed, bleached, whatever hair is always damaged to a degree. How much of such damage one's hair is able to withstand is individual, but your hair certainly seems to have reached its limit.

[AmaryllisRed]

You just said earlier in this thread... you dyed it a year ago and you blow dry three times a week. Am I misremembering?
Also haven't you mentioned plans to dye your hair again soon? I know people can change their minds but I do seem to recall you saying something about planning to dye or buying dye... something like that.
Also, in two years with average growth, hair would grow only 12 inches, right? Your hair being past waist, some of the dye from two years ago would be there. (I'm assuming your fast reported growth rate would be balanced out by your recent stalls.)

[blackgothicdoll]

Let me correct you on something....first, I don't relax my hair that often. Only 2 or 3 times a year, and I haven't dyed my hair in a year. So, I've got some demarcation from the old dye. So, I totally disagree with you on me being at terminal length, and my hair does not look, feel, or appear damaged. I know you've seen on several of my posts that I use heat but not multiple times a week. Come on, I only use a little heat 3 times out of a week, and that's only for 5 minutes.


I haven't used dye on my hair in 2 years. It has grown out. Where have you seen me post anything on here about using heat and dye on my hair? You got me confused with someone else.

We're not the ones who are confused

[Dark40]

We're not the ones who are confused

No, I just stopped dyeing it! :)

[Dark40]

You just said earlier in this thread... you dyed it a year ago and you blow dry three times a week. Am I misremembering?
Also haven't you mentioned plans to dye your hair again soon? I know people can change their minds but I do seem to recall you saying something about planning to dye or buying dye... something like that.
Also, in two years with average growth, hair would grow only 12 inches, right? Your hair being past waist, some of the dye from two years ago would be there. (I'm assuming your fast reported growth rate would be balanced out by your recent stalls.)

Oh yeah, I did say that in here about blow drying three times a week but for only 5 minutes on low heat with my hair being 100% dried naturally. No, I have never mentioned that I was planning on dyeing it again or buying more dye. Just relaxing.

[blackgothicdoll]

https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=145384&p=3695501&viewfull=1#post3695501

[MusicalSpoons]

MusicalSpoons I was just trying to get yall to understand that you can still have healthy growing relaxed hair. Relaxed hair does not mean it's damaged. I mean, it can get damaged if you don't know what you are doing on how to do he process, and let me correct yall.....I have not been using any heat or dye on my relaxed hair. I haven't used dye on my hair in 2 years. It has grown out. Where have you seen me post anything on here about using heat and dye on my hair? You got me confused with someone else. And, I have seen and read Autobotsattack's post in here about how you can still have healthy growing relaxing hair.

Erm, page 1 of this thread:

Let me correct you on something....first, I don't relax my hair that often. Only 2 or 3 times a year, and I haven't dyed my hair in a year. So, I've got some demarcation from the old dye. So, I totally disagree with you on me being at terminal length, and my hair does not look, feel, or appear damaged. I know you've seen on several of my posts that I use heat but not multiple times a week. Come on, I only use a little heat 3 times out of a week, and that's only for 5 minutes.


Her hair's growing again though, you see. She didn't need our help, she just needed a couple of days for her 6 month stall to end.:o

Why do we keep feeding this troll? it's somewhat entertaining but it also hurts my brain cells

I'm not sure troll in the traditional sense but I'm also not sure I ought to speculate what actually is going on. But yeah, brain cells hurty indeed.

I didn't see that post before starting typing mine, otherwise I'd not have bothered. I had hoped this thread was a genuine request for help but it seems that mindset didn't last long, alas. (I'm also very aware that we are probably pushing the bounds of KNIT, if not already past that, so unless there's a huge, genuine change in OP being receptive to help, I have nothing further to say here.)

[Dark40]

How can you tell *so* quickly that your hair is growing again, in a matter of days, though?

This is all too confusing for me, TBH!

I know it's confusing or weird but I was able to tell by the texture, and that it had been at the same length since the end of January. Yes, in a matter of a week it has stretched! :)

[blackgothicdoll]

Erm, page 1 of this thread:




I'm not sure troll in the traditional sense but I'm also not sure I ought to speculate what actually is going on. But yeah, brain cells hurty indeed.

I didn't see that post before starting typing mine, otherwise I'd not have bothered. I had hoped this thread was a genuine request for help but it seems that mindset didn't last long, alas. (I'm also very aware that we are probably pushing the bounds of KNIT, if not already past that, so unless there's a huge, genuine change in OP being receptive to help, I have nothing further to say here.)

Yes, you are very right on that one. I'll also behave myself and run far and fast away from this thread. :o

[The-Young-Maid]

I know it's confusing or weird but I was able to tell by the texture, and that it had been at the same length since the end of January. Yes, in a matter of a week it has stretched! :)

So what you mean is there's no new growth.

[Dark40]

Erm, page 1 of this thread:




I'm not sure troll in the traditional sense but I'm also not sure I ought to speculate what actually is going on. But yeah, brain cells hurty indeed.

I didn't see that post before starting typing mine, otherwise I'd not have bothered. I had hoped this thread was a genuine request for help but it seems that mindset didn't last long, alas. (I'm also very aware that we are probably pushing the bounds of KNIT, if not already past that, so unless there's a huge, genuine change in OP being receptive to help, I have nothing further to say here.)

Ok, yes I thought that I needed more help in this thread as well but I don't need anymore help. I have appreciated your help and input. Thank you! :)

[Crystawni]

Her hair's growing again though, you see. She didn't need our help, she just needed a couple of days for her 6 month stall to end.:o

Why do we keep feeding this troll? it's somewhat entertaining but it also hurts my brain cells

:popcorn: There is a consistent lack of credibility in any of the OP's posts across the board, unfortunately. I'm sorry you guys have been drawn in, again. It's a neverending circle of misrepresentation (I'm 2c/3a and can't relate in the slightest to what's been said now and comparisons in the past), denial, backtracks and excuses that will continue to mess with our senses.

[Dark40]

So what you mean is there's no new growth.

Well, what I mean is that between January up until sometime this week I wasn't seeing any new growth. But as of yesterday the stall passed!

[AmaryllisRed]

Ok, you've definitely mentioned planning to dye your hair in several different posts since the end of last year. It's fine if you changed your mind-- probably a good thing. :)
But threads like this make me question my sanity.
I'm glad you're not stalling anymore and happy we were able to help. :)

[AutobotsAttack]

Dark40, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but just for further reference, perhaps any inquiries, and further questions/information should be directed in the Relaxed Hair thread.

Anyone is welcome in that thread, but for the sake of specific stuff, perhaps it’s best.

[neko_kawaii]

Since the original question appears to have been resolved, I am closing this thread.