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View Full Version : The vicious cycle with no way out



kwhitchurch
November 6th, 2008, 11:39 AM
Like many others on here I had the nightmare trip to the salon that fried my hair to it's death. Since then it has been cut to shoulder length and hasnt been dyed. I know that hair dryers are damaging, and also wearing hair up in a ponytail every day can be damaging too, but I don't see any other way!? In 4 months I have only gained about 1.5 inches, and I have about 4 in of hair grown out since I stopped dying it. So most of my hair is still damaged and very frizzy. I can't let it air dry because my hair looks terrible and I have to keep a very professional appearance for work. When it air dries I get all kinds of random weird looking kinks in some places and stick straight in others. So my only way to look decent is to wear it up in a pony tail ever day, which is also bad. I feel like I am cursed with the only options of either looking terrible or continuing to damage my hair in one way or another. My hair has never been very slow growing until now (of course) and I cant figure it out. I just need some tips on how to manage it without damaging it, styling ideas for collar bone length hair, and any ideas on how to get my growth back to normal speed! (thanks for letting me vent a bit too)

Isblå
November 6th, 2008, 11:51 AM
Oh, I feel so sorry for you. I hope that when the damage grows out you will be able to see some growth again! As for the ponytail part, I am personally not all that convinced that it will damage your hair a whole lot, especially if your hair is relatively short and ponytailing will not cause matting or tangles. Just make sure that you use a very hair friendly elastics to hold it. I use some that are made of a thick elastic fabric (feels a bit like a towel) with no seams or metal bits. A lot of people use scrunchies instead.

You say that your hair is frizzy and partially kinky. Could it be that it is a bit dry? Have you tried oiling? Stretching the time between washes? Use only condishioner, no shampoo once in a while? There are a lot of things you could try, don't worry, you will get your hair into better condition. Unfortunately, I don't have any experience with heavy damage, but someone else will surely come along to share their experiences. Good luck!

Unofficial_Rose
November 6th, 2008, 12:02 PM
If it's collar bone length, you can put in into a French twist with a ficcare/fakkare, or even a stick, like this: http://www.bijoux-manoel.com/conseils-coiffure-2/pose-des-grandes-epingles-7.html

I know because I can do this when my hair is only 17 inches (using the LHC measure from front hairline to hemline at back of head method). I know the girl on the website has longer hair than that, but if you look at my profile pic, my hair was fairly short at the time.

And you can get so many beautiful accessories :D

Nightshade
November 6th, 2008, 12:20 PM
If your hair was previously dyed, it may not be that it isn't growing, but that it's breaking off? Could you French braid it?

kwhitchurch
November 6th, 2008, 12:37 PM
My hair was breaking a lot before I cut it but then I chopped off maybe close to 8 in? It doesnt break much anymore, and I can see the "line" where the new hair meets the damaged hair as it grows and it seems to just stay in the same place! It just seems like very slow growth, and I havent changed my diet or exercise in any major way. Also, my damaged hair does feel very soft, but looks very straw like and rigid, I cant even get the ends to curl under or look decent hence the pony tail

spidermom
November 6th, 2008, 01:06 PM
Do the best you can and try not to fret too much. This is what I had when I decided to grow my hair long:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
That is completely natural, air-dried hair. I was very busy that day with my 13-year-old niece, so I stepped out of the shower, combed my hair, and didn't do another thing to it. She had a little fun doing goth makeup on me, so I know the face is over the top, but that was my hair. Wear it natural? I think not! This is the one and only picture I allowed to be taken of my un-styled hair from that period of grow-out. The blow-dryer and large-barrel curling iron were my friends in those days. Yes, they ruined the ends, but I kept getting trims, and my hair did, indeed, grow.

Stick with it. If long hair is what you want, you will have it.

plainjanegirl
November 6th, 2008, 01:13 PM
Wow spidermom ! I didn't realize that was your hair in the short pic. When I saw the pic awhile back I thought it was a wig or something for halloween. Your hair has really improved.

When my hair was short I used headbands alot and ponytails....and I don't think it hurt my hair much or hindered it from growing any. Can you braid your hair any? French braids can look professional. Good luck!!

Kirin
November 6th, 2008, 01:13 PM
I faced many the same problems, and still do. In my profession wrecked or unkempt looking hair is just not going to do. I am an artist and although long hair is great for that, it is hard to sell your art to the public when the art looks great and you yourself are a mess.

I came to a compromise. Since my length was dyed and damaged anyway, continuing to blow dry those ends until they were a manageable length was not going to be detrimental. I avoided it at the scalp though and the new growth. Eventually those ends will get cut off.

Once my hair got longer, I had tried to grow out bangs but decided against it, and re-cut them. Now instead of just pulling my hair back in a straight non-descript style, I can blow dry and curling iron my bangs, even tease them....... since I intend to keep the bangs short, they will continually be cut so damage is not a problem.

Once your hair gets longer you can get more elaborate with teh back in up-dos and if you have bangs, get more creative with the front giving a polished modern appearance.

kwhitchurch
November 6th, 2008, 01:42 PM
well I feel a bit better then about wearing my hair back in a ponytail. It does get a bit boring, but it is fast! I can french braid other peoples hair but never my own, my arms get too tired and it always comes out off center lol! I can use some headbands, but again I have to look business professional, and headbands tend to make me look like a teenager :) I guess My biggest frustration is growing out the damage right now. Yes I miss having long hair more than anything, but at this point all I want is for the damage to grow out enough to cut it off and it's just staying put. Does anyone think that scalp massage really helps with growth?

Nightshade
November 6th, 2008, 01:59 PM
well I feel a bit better then about wearing my hair back in a ponytail. It does get a bit boring, but it is fast! I can french braid other peoples hair but never my own, my arms get too tired and it always comes out off center lol! I can use some headbands, but again I have to look business professional, and headbands tend to make me look like a teenager :) I guess My biggest frustration is growing out the damage right now. Yes I miss having long hair more than anything, but at this point all I want is for the damage to grow out enough to cut it off and it's just staying put. Does anyone think that scalp massage really helps with growth?

It may :) Have you checked out the link to the damaged hair article in my siggy? Perhaps there's an idea or two in there you'll find helpful :)

Anje
November 6th, 2008, 02:25 PM
I'm another who's going to tell you to go on with ponytails for now. Ponys, french braids, and french twists are pretty much your selection of updos at this point. Daily ponytails when you have more length can cause damage because you can still get a lot of tangles in the ends (just like wearing it loose), but they're not any concern at your length. When you get to the APL to BSL range, you'll find that your ponys get tangled, and you might start noticing breakage from the weight. By that point, buns and braids are more protective, and they're much easier to do than they are now.

kwhitchurch
November 6th, 2008, 02:47 PM
I did read the article, and it was very helpful thank you! I guess I will just have to be patient about the growth, maybe there is no cause for the stop in growth, it might just be my body trying to play tricks on me :) I have read that some people experience more growth in the summer or winter, maybe summer is my slow time...so here's to winter!

Periwinkle
November 6th, 2008, 03:03 PM
What are you using for ponies? Don't use elastics with metal and use scrunchies instead of elastics if you can; they're nicer for your hair. (Not that I practise what I preach!)

My hair is longer than yours but I've often had it that length and most of my friends have their hair that length. You could probably manage a very small bun right now, secured with either an elastic, some pins or little claw clips.

Could you manage the gibson tuck at that length? I'm not sure, but you could have a go...it depends *exactly* how long your hair is.

Oh, and you could try a half-pulled ponytail for a variation - just don't pull it all the way through. Plus halfups.

Nightshade
November 6th, 2008, 03:17 PM
I did read the article, and it was very helpful thank you! I guess I will just have to be patient about the growth, maybe there is no cause for the stop in growth, it might just be my body trying to play tricks on me :) I have read that some people experience more growth in the summer or winter, maybe summer is my slow time...so here's to winter!

You could also check out the Essential Oils for Shedding/Hair Loss (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2001) thread :) Some members use oils to help stimulate growth. There's another crew that uses Monistat to stimulate growth, but I haven't tired that one yet.

kwhitchurch
November 6th, 2008, 03:25 PM
I use the black bands without any metal, but I always make sure it isn't too tight. I end up having to redo it several times a day as it slowly starts to fall but it is the easiest and cheapest (I tend to lose them quickly) I have tried the half ups but again the hair I leave down looks very scraggly. I am almost long enough for a bun but a lot of hair sticks out in every direction, ok for going out and being at home but not for work. I am thinking a wig might be my best option here! :) ok just kidding...I am going to try a new aveda scalp balancing oil and massaging every day to try and encourage some growth

misstwist
November 6th, 2008, 06:15 PM
I look at a fashion blog called What I Wore Today. Kasmira is an HR professional with Proctor & Gamble in Cincinnati.

The link below is to a tutorial for a style she wears on a regular basis. Her hair in the tutorial is shoulder length.

Keep in mind that Kasmira is a bit of a fashion plate and that her outfits might be a little over the top, but the hair is neat and professional (personally, I think that's help balance out "dressing big").

http://whatiwore2day.blogspot.com/2008/06/lazy-girls-updo.html

Elphie
November 6th, 2008, 06:24 PM
Try a topsy tail (flipped pony) they tend to look a bit more professional than a standard pony. You could also take a small section of hair and wrap it around the band as well.

I couldn't braid my own hair two months ago. Practice a bit, you'll get the hang of it.