Dealing with the comments...

[Wusel]

It started.
I'm approaching APL and people already started telling me things like:
'Your haircut grew out, you cut it again?'
'You looked so cute with the short cut'
'So, what do you want to do with your hair now?'
I know the cut grew out and I also know the short hair looked cute and I did love it a lot but it's time for a change and I always do it like that. I did a billion times. Cut - grow out looong - cut - grow out looong.
And, why do people do that?
I've decided to wear a beanie in my next video to force people to concentrate on my review and not my 'bad-grown-out' hair.
When I was growing out my layers and bangs people commented that I look like a witch and should get a proper haircut.

How do you deal with such things?

[desisparkles]

I remember when I got a pixie, everybody said, "why did you cut your hair anyway?" I wanted to reply, gee thanks glad ya hate it, ho. But I didn't.

I wish I would've said, "thanks I love it too!" bc that would just throw them off.

When it was long, everyone commented on how longggg it was while implying it was too long.

ya just can't win.

ignore the haters and kill them with kindness. i love your hair, I saw it in the bed head thread and it is stunning as are you.

[Wusel]

I remember when I got a pixie, everybody said, "why did you cut your hair anyway?" I wanted to reply, gee thanks glad ya hate it, ho. But I didn't.

I wish I would've said, "thanks I love it too!" bc that would just throw them off.

When it was long, everyone commented on how longggg it was while implying it was too long.

ya just can't win.

ignore the haters and kill them with kindness. i love your hair, I saw it in the bed head thread and it is stunning as are you.

Thank you :)
Yes, it's impossible to win and I try to ignore it.
When my hair was long it was 'too long' too and when it was down people commented that it makes me look unkempt. And when it was braided or in a bun they said it makes me look old.

[Nini]

Be confident in what you want for yourself. And whenever asked just state whatever that is.

Then you can ask what they're doing to their hair, or you can ask about the weather or discuss the latest football results :)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Be kind to them but do what YOU want to do with your hair. You will need to grow a thick skin along with long hair :) All you need to say it "Well, this is how I like it". Repeat this every time you get critical comments.

[Hexen]

You've been told that braids and buns make you look old? Well, as a general observation, if I were viewing ones hair from the back and I thought I was looking at the seeding stage of a dandelion, and I found myself fighting the urge to blow on it and make a wish... then I might regard it as something elderly.

The only thing old about braids and buns is the great history and tradition. Which in some cases respectively goes back thousands of years.

I say wear them proudly.

And keep in mind that its not impossible to win.
If you employ the discipline, and work towards and take the time needed to aquire something you want, and are happy with it when you do...you've won. :)

[YvetteVarie]

I just ignore. I do not take too kindly to people making comments about my appearance, and if I reply I would do it pretty harshly. So I keep quiet and ignore them. I just remember the LHC mantra that I am not there to decorate their world

[cjk]

I've taken to wearing a wedding ring.

For me, hair comments usually turn into a prelude for other things.

The ring has definitely cut down on the attention. But not eliminated it.

Got cornered in an elevator the other day.

[milosmomma]

Usually no matter the comment or question, an appropriate and fairly kind answer that I often run to is "Well, I'm growing it out for ME. That's all" And it will sometimes take them aback because I think people expect you to answer well yea I'm over due for a trim, time to lop it off, because that's what a majority of people do. I've answered a coworker this way when he said something to the tune of "Your hair grows really fast but it's always up, I never see it!" And it may have even a bit snarky for that instance but I go on autopilot because I'm usually expecting criticism. But on the other hand I'm not sure if they expected me to retort "oh I'm sorry you never see it, I'll be sure to wear it down for you" :lol:

[LadyCelestina]

It started.
I'm approaching APL and people already started telling me things like:
'Your haircut grew out, you cut it again?'
'You looked so cute with the short cut'
'So, what do you want to do with your hair now?'
I know the cut grew out and I also know the short hair looked cute and I did love it a lot but it's time for a change and I always do it like that. I did a billion times. Cut - grow out looong - cut - grow out looong.
And, why do people do that?
I've decided to wear a beanie in my next video to force people to concentrate on my review and not my 'bad-grown-out' hair.
When I was growing out my layers and bangs people commented that I look like a witch and should get a proper haircut.

How do you deal with such things?

I checked your videos and the commenters seemed pretty focused on the content, so I don't think you need to worry so much with the beanie :) You seem to have had short hair for a year now, so the comments might be just another way of asking "are you growing it out?", esp. with a cut like you have where the growout is fairly obvious.

As far as dealing with them, I just answer politely, and nevermind the haters. It's your hair, and you do you with it.

[LadyCelestina]

I remember when I got a pixie, everybody said, "why did you cut your hair anyway?" I wanted to reply, gee thanks glad ya hate it, ho. But I didn't.



:lol: :lol: :lol:

[nycelle]

Why even respond to rude comments? I would just ignore.

[Aerya]

If people are used to seeing you with short hair they are probably just a little curious about your change in appearance. Not all comments are meant to harm. :)

That being said, if people are actually being rude and trying to make you cut your hair, suggesting you can't pull off long hair or saying it looks bad, just cut them off with a simple "Because I like it." Either with a sweet smile if you don't want to offend while still making your point, or with a harsher voice.

And if people are downright being a-holes, IMHO it's perfectly fine to be rude back. One time a boy told me he didn't like seeing me in sweats. I told him I didn't like hearing his ****ty opinions all the time, yet here we are. ;)

[Begemot]

Why even respond to rude comments? I would just ignore.

I would love it if I could do what people do in movies, tv shows and soap operas: just stare at a rude person long in silence (while dramatic music plays) and then walk away :lol: That seems normal in those scenes but I feel the need to respond somehow, usually I just shrug it off.

[nycelle]

I would love it if I could do what people do in movies, tv shows and soap operas: just stare at a rude person long in silence (while dramatic music plays) and then walk away :lol: That seems normal in those scenes but I feel the need to respond somehow, usually I just shrug it off.

In person it's a bit different than online.
It's easy to ignore comments over a computer.
Sometimes I do just that, other times I'll call someone out.

In person, I don't generally get rude comments.
Once in a while someone may say something about my dogs.
I will respond if I think they were purposely being *******s.

[Copasetic]

I don't really get any comments about my hair, but if I did, I would just remind the person that it is my hair and I will continue to do whatever I want with it.

[lithostoic]

Never had to deal with it. Though when I had dreadlocks I had people ask when I was going to get rid of them. I replied "When I feel like it".

[cjk]

I was checking out in a Walmart self checkout lane, this evening. The woman came over to help me with the register Kama and made a comment about how she loves my hair.

At which point one of her co-workers came over and said the same thing. Wanted to know who does my braids, she was a black girl. When I told her I do them myself she was astonished. I now have much of her life story including where she went to cosmetology school.

The experience ended with me surrounded by a small circle of women all fawning over me and my hair.

All I wanted to do was put money on a gas card.

I try to remain polite but there are times when enough is enough.

It can be really quite off-putting.

[LittleHealthy]

I don’t deal well with people if they comment critically or negavely on my hair, so I’m no help.
It usually just makes me feel self conscious and as though I *must* need a trim or something.
I had someone message me on my Instagram (it’s just a place I put all my hair growth photos) saying
“Not to be rude but have you thought about trimming your dead ends?” When I literally trim out all my splits and was at a really good place with my hair. I instantly felt awful about myself!
What I would say to you is you don’t have to explain yourself, so just ignore the comments. I should take the same advice!!!

[Aerya]

I don’t deal well with people if they comment critically or negavely on my hair, so I’m no help.
It usually just makes me feel self conscious and as though I *must* need a trim or something.
I had someone message me on my Instagram (it’s just a place I put all my hair growth photos) saying
“Not to be rude but have you thought about trimming your dead ends?” When I literally trim out all my splits and was at a really good place with my hair. I instantly felt awful about myself!
What I would say to you is you don’t have to explain yourself, so just ignore the comments. I should take the same advice!!!

Ughhh, I'm so tired of hearing about "dead ends" all the time. Hair is dead. Split ends and over-processed hair is a thing, but "dead hair" to most people seem to mean thinner ends than the bulk (which is normal at longer lengths, the exact length varying from person to person) or even just hair that they think is too long. Not everyone wants a blunt cut and not everyone wants short hair, and most people make do just fine without unsolicited advice from strangers in their DMs.

/end of rant, lol

Really, LittleHealthy, your hair is lovely, and your ends look fine to me. Don't let those comments get to you - they have no idea what they're talking about. :flower:

[OhSuzi]

I am not amazingly photogenic, hit n miss. There’s a nice pic of me with a dyed blue pixie. Everyone says why are you growing it long? You should have your hair like that again it looked nice.
It did look nice I loved it – but also it was really hard to maintain and that was a lucky photo, its now about 5 years old and I was much slimmer and on a really nice holiday. So even if I did chop n dye, it might look cool, but I wont suddenly, be transported to a relaxed sunny environment, drop 3 stone and reverse in age.
The thing is a hair cut is a 3 second decision with instant interesting super styled hair as a result.
If you got it chopped and everyone decides they prefer it long then it’ll take 3 – 5 years to get back to where you were!
Long hair is a slow and gradual process and there are growing out stages – If you don’t mind taking a little longer to get to a certain length have a hair dresser style & trim it & put some shape back into it – if it’s a good cut it should grow out nicely.
If you haven’t seen someone for ages and they see your long hair for the first time – the impact is the same as a hair cut.
Anyways your hair is for you not for others – people make comments but they don’t really care one way or another it has little impact on their life whether your hair is long or short or curly or bald, green or ginger etc.

[LittleHealthy]

Ughhh, I'm so tired of hearing about "dead ends" all the time. Hair is dead. Split ends and over-processed hair is a thing, but "dead hair" to most people seem to mean thinner ends than the bulk (which is normal at longer lengths, the exact length varying from person to person) or even just hair that they think is too long. Not everyone wants a blunt cut and not everyone wants short hair, and most people make do just fine without unsolicited advice from strangers in their DMs.

/end of rant, lol

Really, LittleHealthy, your hair is lovely, and your ends look fine to me. Don't let those comments get to you - they have no idea what they're talking about. :flower:

Thankyou for your kind words, and I would say exactly the same thing to the original poster! But it’s just hard to do in practice, to ignore the comments.
Even if you decide to ignore them directly by choosing not to reply, your mind sometimes has trouble ignoring them, by allowing the thoughts to pop into your head during the evening when you’re laying in bed trying to go to sleep!!
We give each other strength through our support of one another; I can completely understand if Wusel is having a hard time ignoring some of the comments she might be getting. It’s hard!

[AutobotsAttack]

If you’re on YouTube just filter the comments. Whatever you deem inappropriate, rude, or unnecessary just filter it out.
YouTube is filled to the brim with that kind of stuff.

[lapushka]

Can't you automatically filter out comments with certain words, so I would mark "hair" or something like that, and you would not have to worry about those anymore.


ETA/ Haha, just what Bots said!

[hennalove]

I basically ignore. I'm growing my hair for me and no one else but I did go through a phase where I would not wear my hair down in front of my kids due to a couple of comments. Now, because of the length, it's up most of the time anyway. I did make a couple of comments myself though about how I didn't appreciate the comments. The grandkids always want to see me with my hair down. It's hard though because of the length. I have been known to make a snarky comment or two when someone asks if I'm growing my hair to donate. That one really frosts me! The only one I really tolerate comments about my hair is those from my husband. I know he would like to see it down more but likely appreciates it up so stray hairs don't get in his food :rolleyes:

[hennalove]

I basically ignore. I'm growing my hair for me and no one else but I did go through a phase where I would not wear my hair down in front of my kids due to a couple of comments. Now, because of the length, it's up most of the time anyway. I did make a couple of comments myself though about how I didn't appreciate the comments. The grandkids always want to see me with my hair down. It's hard though because of the length. I have been known to make a snarky comment or two when someone asks if I'm growing my hair to donate. That one really frosts me! The only one I really tolerate comments about my hair is those from my husband. I know he would like to see it down more but likely appreciates it up so stray hairs don't get in his food :rolleyes:

[spidermom]

Don't attach too much weight to comments from strangers. Consider any comment as being meaningless conversation, like "is it hot enough for you?" or "do you think it's going to rain?" Answer if you feel like it; ignore it if you want.

[Hellebore]

I'm all about short, one word answers to negative comments.

"Have you thought about trimming off your dead ends?" No.

"You should cut your hair." Oh.

Sometimes I feel like people who make these comments are bracing themselves for an argument, and it seems to take the wind out of their sails when I don't engage.

[Genne]

I have heard this a lot too, when my hair was short, some people really loved it an others didn't and they would say so. When I grew it long, some people just swore that it didn't suit me and others like it. Everyone has an opinion it seems. However, I don't take their opinions from strangers personal, (I rarely take opinions from people actually IN my personal life so strangers get a further removal.)

Jen
p.s. I also don't necessarily buy food that strangers say they love either because it hasn't always worked out for me either.

[Strwberryfields]

Usually
“That’s a really personal thing to comment on” stops people dead and isn’t hateful or going to get you into any trouble! It gets the point across.

[Vacurlylady]

Be kind to them but do what YOU want to do with your hair. You will need to grow a thick skin along with long hair :) All you need to say it "Well, this is how I like it". Repeat this every time you get critical comments.

This! I’m learning to say this. Or I’m growing my hair out to see how long it will get and I like it this way! I grew stronger when I let go of the dye! And it’s the best thing I have ever done for myself. I grew stronger in every thing “ME” 🥰

[Vacurlylady]

Be kind to them but do what YOU want to do with your hair. You will need to grow a thick skin along with long hair :) All you need to say it "Well, this is how I like it". Repeat this every time you get critical comments.

Yep! This! I learned when I was growing out my natural color. I grew thick skin. And the “I like it this way!” Answer. And now the comments on growing out my length. “I want to see how long I can go without a trim, it’s fun!” I get my strength from LHC. Truly. Everyone is here talking about length. How can I not be excited about length?

[Zesty]

I'm not generally very confrontational so if it's in person I'll just shrug. The only person in my life who really says anything approaching negative about my hair is my stepmother who will say that I looked so cute with shoulder length hair if she ever sees it down. And I basically shrug, laugh a little, and move on with the conversation. Everyone else says it's pretty, or just comments on how long it is.

Online, it's super easy to sidestep altogether. On Instagram, for example, I just delete comments I don't like. :o Then I come back to the LHC.

All this coming from someone who would never claim to be thick-skinned, by the way. I'm very sensitive.

[sillyme]

How do you deal with such things?

Whenever I think someone is making a nosey comment to me but putting it in the form of a question, I "try" to just be quiet and remember this quote by Shannon Alder: (I'm not sure who she is, but it's a good quote.) :D

"Don’t waste your time trying to explain yourself to people that are committed to misunderstanding you. "

But then sometimes I just get mad and say what I really think. :steam

[Tinyponies]

Whenever I think someone is making a nosey comment to me but putting it in the form of a question, I "try" to just be quiet and remember this quote by Shannon Alder: (I'm not sure who she is, but it's a good quote.) :D

"Don’t waste your time trying to explain yourself to people that are committed to misunderstanding you. "

But then sometimes I just get mad and say what I really think. :steam

Woo, that is a good quote, thanks! *squirrels it away for later*

[Genne]

Usually
“That’s a really personal thing to comment on” stops people dead and isn’t hateful or going to get you into any trouble! It gets the point across.
Yes!! I love this response. I began using this when people who I barely knew would start a conversation on if I had children and why not when I said no. Really, it is a VERY personal and intimate thing to comment on. Like, I don't really think they want to hear about my decades of infertility and heartbreak, right? edited to note: and it is none of their business. What they think is open conversation is not fodder. Our personal information and hair choices too are "very personal."

[Dung Beetle]

The other day a lady at work asked me if I was ready to donate my hair. She is a very very nice lady, so I very very nicely told her "not yet", but I did get annoyed the more I thought about it. "You have something that someone else wants, you should give it to them!"

[Caribbean_girl]

You know what that’s called? Envy, my love. Don’t ever listen to what anybody has to comment on your hair, you don’t know the intentions that they have.

[NicoleJean]

I feel you and how annoying it is. I'm just starting to get a lot of comments and opinions as well lately since my hair started inching towards my elbows. I never had what I would consider short hair before but I also never had hair this long before either. I think a lot of the comments are more out of curiosity about the change and what your plans are. But yeah people love to judge and give opinions about everything. I don't know why some people care so much what other people choose to look like. If you feel comfortable in your own skin that's all that matters. I just tell people I feel beautiful with my long hair and they usually respect and admire my confidence.

[lapushka]

NicoleJean, nobody comments on my hair, but I wear it up in public. I want to avoid the comments if I can. After all, it's nobody's business (and I don't want to have my hair get into absolutely everything LOL).