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View Full Version : My hair'volution (1 year) + urges to cut my hair



kimchi989
April 11th, 2019, 02:21 AM
Hi everybody how are you doing?
I've not been here for several months, but I decided to post after realizing it's been a year since I started growing my hair + going natural (now I'm alternating between either water only + ACV rinse and powders like Sidr or shikakai + ACV rinse).
So first here's the result (ok it's not like amazing, but I'm proud). And no I'm not showing you my underwear hehe, those are some of my belly dance costumes.
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=36484&d=1554969624

But for a few weeks, I've wanted to cut my hair short again (shorter than my starting point in 2018). I don't know why, I've been watching videos of girls shaving their hair ( + a friend of mine did it a year ago and said it was the most liberating thing she has ever done, but also told me growing it out was a pain).
The thing is, I'm having hard time finding my hair nice. Let down, I find it flat and lifeless (I don't use heat or styling products). If I try heatless curls, my hair doesn't hold the curls (even if I curl it with heat, they don't hold curls either). So I mostly end up putting my hair up in a bun or a ponytail...
To be honest, I don't know if I really want long hair. I've had very long hair as a child, but I was never able to go back to that length. I tend to not like some aspects of longer hair (like you know shedding in the shower and finding hair you know where down your back), but when I had short hair I didn't like the fact I wasn't able to do hairstyles.... Yep I'm complicated.
So how do you deal with very short hair envy?
Thanks for the replies

Aerya
April 11th, 2019, 02:57 AM
Such pretty hair! I love your colour! :D

I think the length suits you really well, but if you want to go short, go for it. I've cut my hair short a few times and always hated it - I've come to the conclusion that my hair needs some length to look good, and my face doesn't suit short hair at all either. But I mean, now I know. If I had never done it I might regret it. Some people find cutting their hair short to be liberating and don't regret it at all. If you want to take the plunge, go for it! I would suggest doing it slowly though, cut off a little bit at a time. I know the buzzing videos are really satisfying when they go from long hair to bald just like that, but... You've spent a lot of time growing out your hair. If you end up regretting it it's better to only have a couple of inches to grow back than all of it! You can always cut off more if you want after. :)

You could experiment a bit with various updos though, half ups, braids both on their own and as accents. With more length you'll be able to do more styles so keep that in mind! Personally I think updos frame the face more nicely than short hair, like when people say short hair is better because it doesn't drag the face down or hide it, I just think that well, you can have your cake and eat it too! ;)

Oh, and what's that lipstick you're wearing? It's gorgeous! :D

Tinyponies
April 11th, 2019, 03:05 AM
Hello :wave:

Lovely pics, and your hair looks beautiful. It looks very soft and the colour is gorgeous.

There are a few different things going on for you, from your post. I can totally relate to feeling conflicted about things like this. On the one hand you want to grow long, and simultaneously you feel the urge to shave... personally I *did* shave my head repeatedly for around a year when I cut my long hair off, and yes it was quite the experience. I knew it was something I wanted to experience once in my life, and I stuck with it until I knew it was right out of my system.

This might be different to how you feel... I can see by the length of your hair that you are literally coming out of the other side of an awkward length right now, it is long enough to weigh down, without feeling *long long*. A picture of you shows how lovely it is, but the experience of it is that when you look down you only see a tiny bit of it.

The subsequent times I buzzed my hair off (the shortest the barber could do it with clippers) I would look at the hair and remember thinking “...oh look at them, they are just babies”. You seriously cannot appreciate your own hair properly at this length because it’s all on the back of your head just doing it’s thing.

Another thought I had is that if you enjoy wearing it up then go with it? It’s not like you have to wear it down to make it worth having. Having hair in an updo is infinitely easier than going through all the mullet stages and getting hair in your face tickly stages that you get with that kind of regrowing.

Then there is the final and perhaps contradictory one... if you feel strongly like buzzing, even after waiting weeks and making sure you are sure, then I say go for it. No one can tell you what to do, but one way to look at it is if you feel that way now with your cbl + hair, it’s a lot less to regrow than resenting your hair all the way to waist and then doing it anyway. Have fun while it’s short(er) and get it all out of your system!

It’s not like longer is better, it’s more important to honour what you really want at this point in your life.

Wishing you and your hair all the best!

kimchi989
April 11th, 2019, 03:50 AM
Such pretty hair! I love your colour! :D

I think the length suits you really well, but if you want to go short, go for it. I've cut my hair short a few times and always hated it - I've come to the conclusion that my hair needs some length to look good, and my face doesn't suit short hair at all either. But I mean, now I know. If I had never done it I might regret it. Some people find cutting their hair short to be liberating and don't regret it at all. If you want to take the plunge, go for it! I would suggest doing it slowly though, cut off a little bit at a time. I know the buzzing videos are really satisfying when they go from long hair to bald just like that, but... You've spent a lot of time growing out your hair. If you end up regretting it it's better to only have a couple of inches to grow back than all of it! You can always cut off more if you want after. :)

You could experiment a bit with various updos though, half ups, braids both on their own and as accents. With more length you'll be able to do more styles so keep that in mind! Personally I think updos frame the face more nicely than short hair, like when people say short hair is better because it doesn't drag the face down or hide it, I just think that well, you can have your cake and eat it too! ;)

Oh, and what's that lipstick you're wearing? It's gorgeous! :D

Thanks :) Since I cut my hair short, I didn't colour it at all... So it's all natural^^

Like you, I've always hated my hair short, because there is so much you can do with it since I'm not using heat or hair products, short hair tends to look neglected on me.
I like experimenting with updos, but sometimes I get so frustrated because I've fine hair and you can sometimes see my scalp if I do braids (+ after stopping taking the pill 7 years ago, I developed several small bald spots, one being on the top left of my forehead, which isn't visible when my hair is down, but when up... I've this blond seethrough "afro" going on on the left of my forehead :( ).

I'll keep you question in mind for the lipstick since it wasn't mine, I borrowed it from a fellow dancer^^ But I can't remember the name at all^^



Hello :wave:

Lovely pics, and your hair looks beautiful. It looks very soft and the colour is gorgeous.

There are a few different things going on for you, from your post. I can totally relate to feeling conflicted about things like this. On the one hand you want to grow long, and simultaneously you feel the urge to shave... personally I *did* shave my head repeatedly for around a year when I cut my long hair off, and yes it was quite the experience. I knew it was something I wanted to experience once in my life, and I stuck with it until I knew it was right out of my system.

This might be different to how you feel... I can see by the length of your hair that you are literally coming out of the other side of an awkward length right now, it is long enough to weigh down, without feeling *long long*. A picture of you shows how lovely it is, but the experience of it is that when you look down you only see a tiny bit of it.

The subsequent times I buzzed my hair off (the shortest the barber could do it with clippers) I would look at the hair and remember thinking “...oh look at them, they are just babies”. You seriously cannot appreciate your own hair properly at this length because it’s all on the back of your head just doing it’s thing.

Another thought I had is that if you enjoy wearing it up then go with it? It’s not like you have to wear it down to make it worth having. Having hair in an updo is infinitely easier than going through all the mullet stages and getting hair in your face tickly stages that you get with that kind of regrowing.

Then there is the final and perhaps contradictory one... if you feel strongly like buzzing, even after waiting weeks and making sure you are sure, then I say go for it. No one can tell you what to do, but one way to look at it is if you feel that way now with your cbl + hair, it’s a lot less to regrow than resenting your hair all the way to waist and then doing it anyway. Have fun while it’s short(er) and get it all out of your system!

It’s not like longer is better, it’s more important to honour what you really want at this point in your life.

Wishing you and your hair all the best!

Thanks^^ It's been soooooo soft since I turned to natural ways of taking care of it (natural cleansing powders, ACV, organic oils from my kitchen...), and since I've cut it short I never coloured it. When I was a baby I almost had white hair.

Yeah I'm starting to leave the "too short for nice updos, but to long to just let it hang and look good" phase which was a pain! Now I can do a braid and hair stays in it wouhou!!! (2 months ago it was "ok braid is done.... aaaaand hair in the front is out... f*****ck it") But yeah when I look down I'm like "that's it?"

the mullet.... Oh my god that was the worst part of growing out my hair and I think that's what holding me back from cutting it very short: the painful process of growing it out.

I don't really like wearing it in updos, it's just easier for work (I work as a dentist's assistant, so I need my hair out of the way, another thing that will be a pain when growing my hair out).



I'm realizing there are more cons than pros at the moment for me hehe

illicitlizard
April 11th, 2019, 04:01 AM
I think it's just a case of waiting out the awkward phase where it's not quite long but not quite short anymore. You look good with either length of hair but as you said, more cons than pros for you at the moment and "I've always hated my hair short" is rather telling.

Begemot
April 11th, 2019, 04:26 AM
I think it's just a case of waiting out the awkward phase where it's not quite long but not quite short anymore. You look good with either length of hair but as you said, more cons than pros for you at the moment and "I've always hated my hair short" is rather telling.

I strongly agree with this. Power through the awkward phase and see how you like longer hair :) Pro tip: always brush your hair and massage your scalp before washing to minimize the shedding during wash.

lapushka
April 11th, 2019, 04:37 AM
Hi! :waving:

From your picture, your hair is still... quite short. I think you might be having that "awkward stage" phase of your growth process. At this point you have 2 choices. Either muddle through and get to longer lengths, finally. Or, cut it and keep struggling with that same stage over and over again and never getting anywhere with growth.

I recently cut back from FTL+ to classic, so I should be the last to talk.

But at this kind of length, it is I think more of an awkward length stage. :flower:

lithostoic
April 11th, 2019, 05:24 AM
I don't think it's flat and lifeless at all! But, once you get to BSL -- which shouldn't take long becaude your hair grows quickly -- you can add some layers for movement without it resembling a mullet c:

AmaryllisRed
April 11th, 2019, 07:52 AM
I do think (unpopular opinion) if you want to buzz it just once in your life, do it now before it gets really long and takes longer to grow back.
If you can stave off the buzzing urge, keep growing! I agree with everyone else-- I think it's an awkward phase. Hang in there! And when in doubt, always use the two week rule before doing anything drastic! :)

spitfire511
April 11th, 2019, 08:11 AM
I do think (unpopular opinion) if you want to buzz it just once in your life, do it now before it gets really long and takes longer to grow back.
If you can stave off the buzzing urge, keep growing! I agree with everyone else-- I think it's an awkward phase. Hang in there! And when in doubt, always use the two week rule before doing anything drastic! :)

This - I've never personally wanted buzzed or super short hair because I have ginormous ears - but I've spent many hours envying friends who did and looked super cute!

However - if you know you're just getting twitchy for change - invoke 2 week rule, and try some new things. Benign neglect has always been my friend when it came to these times - find a new updo to do and push-on!

Either way - hang around!! :D

lapushka
April 11th, 2019, 08:16 AM
I do think (unpopular opinion) if you want to buzz it just once in your life, do it now before it gets really long and takes longer to grow back.
If you can stave off the buzzing urge, keep growing! I agree with everyone else-- I think it's an awkward phase. Hang in there! And when in doubt, always use the two week rule before doing anything drastic! :)

I did all that, so got it all out of my system. So I totally get the urge to do crazy things to the hair & head. I get it perfectly.

Except, now age 46, I have no interest in it anymore. :shrug:

kimchi989
April 13th, 2019, 10:04 AM
I think it's just a case of waiting out the awkward phase where it's not quite long but not quite short anymore. You look good with either length of hair but as you said, more cons than pros for you at the moment and "I've always hated my hair short" is rather telling.

Yeah I think so too^^ That might be an unpopular thing to say, but I'm considering getting hair extensions to kind of distract me from that weird stage. What do you think?


I strongly agree with this. Power through the awkward phase and see how you like longer hair :) Pro tip: always brush your hair and massage your scalp before washing to minimize the shedding during wash.

Oddly enough, I'v not that much shedding ( I think because I use your method, I always brush my hair before shampoo)


Hi! :waving:

From your picture, your hair is still... quite short. I think you might be having that "awkward stage" phase of your growth process. At this point you have 2 choices. Either muddle through and get to longer lengths, finally. Or, cut it and keep struggling with that same stage over and over again and never getting anywhere with growth.

I recently cut back from FTL+ to classic, so I should be the last to talk.

But at this kind of length, it is I think more of an awkward length stage. :flower:

That's what holding me back from doing it: if I cut it short, I'll be back in that same old weird phase in no time, unless I cut it short all the time (and knowing myself, I'll get ponytail envy really fast hehe)


I don't think it's flat and lifeless at all! But, once you get to BSL -- which shouldn't take long becaude your hair grows quickly -- you can add some layers for movement without it resembling a mullet c:

I had layers before. Before getting my hair short, I had BSL hair with layers. Like you my stylist said it would add movement... It was a disaster, even though the layers in themselves were nicely done, I've fine hair and if I didn't cut my hair every 3 months, you could see my back tattoo through my ends... From that day on I think I will stay away from layers. Maybe try a more u-shaped cut?


I do think (unpopular opinion) if you want to buzz it just once in your life, do it now before it gets really long and takes longer to grow back.
If you can stave off the buzzing urge, keep growing! I agree with everyone else-- I think it's an awkward phase. Hang in there! And when in doubt, always use the two week rule before doing anything drastic! :)

I always use that rule. I never do anything without thinking about it a lot... Which is why some people think I'm indecisive, because I weight the pros and cons for soooo long before taking a decision.

Reyn127
April 13th, 2019, 10:49 AM
As someone who has had a shaved head (twice), here’s my advice. It is definitely a liberating action and something I would recommend going for - IF it’s what you really WANT. I don’t know if I would do it because of outside influence, like your friends told you it was a great idea. Make sure that YOU WANT a shaved head, and to experience having little to no hair length - for a while.

The reactions I got from people were mixed. Their opinions didn’t weigh on me too hard, but my grandmother was under actual distress from it (it was upsetting that I would voluntarily remove all my hair, it reminded her of her mother’s battle with cancer), so maybe consider that if you’re really sensitive to how others respond around you. I did get a LOT of good reactions as well, but mostly from people I didn’t know to be honest. I also had some people tell me to my face they liked me better with long hair. So be prepared for a lot of outside feedback.

Also, the growing out stage was the worst. My hair stuck straight up for the first 2-3 inches of regrowth. It took about a year to reach chin length all around, and another year to make it to CBL or so. It was definitely a slow process.

Personally, I don’t regret shaving my head, but it’s definitely viewed as slightly extreme for a woman to do. My reason for doing it was that I had been dyeing my hair for a few years, my attempt at going to a lighter color failed (orange and green, joy), i didn’t want to wait for it to grow out, and I also wanted to experience very short hair, as I had been long for a while. So just make sure it’s for a reason that actually makes sense, not just that you’re not happy with your hair as it is.

Ultimately, it’s really up to you, and you have to decide what YOU want. If you want to shave your head, GO FOR IT. But if you’re just bored/unsure, then do something less drastic for now, I’d say. You could always get a cool angled bob or stylized pixie cut if you’re really having short hair envy but aren’t sure. Just be aware that growing longer is ALWAYS going to take more time than going shorter. So just be sure you want short hair and not long before you do anything.

GrowinIt
April 13th, 2019, 10:56 AM
The thought has crossed my mind of trying shorter hair, but the thing that stops me is knowing how slowly hair grows. In the middle of last year I did go shorter than usual, around shoulder length, and then all I wanted to do was grow it back again because it just felt so short. Also, at the end of last year I tried getting some long layers. I would not get them again, but now that I have them, they will probably be around for a couple of years as it is not like I can just grow them out real fast. Once I get to waist length, I can probably start trimming them out slowly.

desisparkles
April 13th, 2019, 11:31 AM
I just want to say that your hair is gorgeous. Not lifeless at all.

I agree that if after serious thinking you should do what makes you happy in the end but I think we are all so very critical of ourselves - I just want you to know it's very beautiful (as are you).

lapushka
April 13th, 2019, 01:44 PM
If you want to go drastically shorter, be real about it. Calculate the time it will take and couple it to real months, like in 2 months' time I will be this length, and this and that is going to happen in my life (appointments, festivities to go to, Christmas, vacation). It might not be as fun to go that short then anymore realizing your hair won't be at an appetizing length at various intervals.

It's how I got over my super short shave & later pixie.

Lady Stardust
April 13th, 2019, 02:54 PM
I just want to say that your hair is gorgeous. Not lifeless at all.

I agree that if after serious thinking you should do what makes you happy in the end but I think we are all so very critical of ourselves - I just want you to know it's very beautiful (as are you).

Very well said :)

I always thought my hair was flat, lifeless, limp...because those are all the words that the hair and beauty industry like to pair with “fine” hair. Hairdressers often also like to add volume, which can make you feel at odds with your hair type.

A few years ago I decided to embrace the flatness and to see it as a positive thing. I had a pixie cut for about 5 years, emphasising how sleek and shiny my hair was. I found it liberating to embrace my hair for what it was and not to try to make it into something else. The pixie cut also helped me to be more confident about having my face on show, with nothing to hide behind.

Growing out a pixie is months of awkwardness though, and a buzz cut will be even more prolonged. It’s worth doing if you really want it. Personally, I would only go very short again if I was sure that I wanted to stay that way for a long, long time :)

kimchi989
April 14th, 2019, 03:15 AM
I just want to say that your hair is gorgeous. Not lifeless at all.

I agree that if after serious thinking you should do what makes you happy in the end but I think we are all so very critical of ourselves - I just want you to know it's very beautiful (as are you).

Thanks^^ I still struggle with finding myself pretty, despite not making it in the "what society likes" list (I'm quite short (5'/152 cm max, even less I think), which was a huge problem when I was looking for work, because people would think I was young (=immature/not to be taken serioussly in most companies' heads), chubby (I lost 10 kg, but with that came something: hanging belly skin, not enough to be able to have surgery, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable), I've hooded eyes so makeup is a pain,...) and I always fell bad about it (my dad use to comment on how he hoped his daughter was prettier, more popular, skinnier,... or pointing at girl in beauty pageants saying "I wish you could look like that and do those things... Thanks dad)


If you want to go drastically shorter, be real about it. Calculate the time it will take and couple it to real months, like in 2 months' time I will be this length, and this and that is going to happen in my life (appointments, festivities to go to, Christmas, vacation). It might not be as fun to go that short then anymore realizing your hair won't be at an appetizing length at various intervals.

It's how I got over my super short shave & later pixie.

That's why I'm starting to think shorter isn't a good idea. When I was shorter i was a pain to style it for dance shows, specially for belly dance when people think about it, they think about a girl with long locks... Thank you for the reality check :)


Very well said :)

I always thought my hair was flat, lifeless, limp...because those are all the words that the hair and beauty industry like to pair with “fine” hair. Hairdressers often also like to add volume, which can make you feel at odds with your hair type.

A few years ago I decided to embrace the flatness and to see it as a positive thing. I had a pixie cut for about 5 years, emphasising how sleek and shiny my hair was. I found it liberating to embrace my hair for what it was and not to try to make it into something else. The pixie cut also helped me to be more confident about having my face on show, with nothing to hide behind.

Growing out a pixie is months of awkwardness though, and a buzz cut will be even more prolonged. It’s worth doing if you really want it. Personally, I would only go very short again if I was sure that I wanted to stay that way for a long, long time :)

I had a pixie cut 7 years ago. I liked how easy it was to shower. The con was if not styled you look neglected (which was me 99% of the time...).
I know I'll get ponytail envy like real fast so going short starts to look like a bad idea, thanks for everyone here to open my eyes.
I also think my hair is limp, flat etc... Because that's how fine hair are marketed. When I come across an add about hair, they're like "you want that big hair? Buy our products" and inside I'm like "no, just have a stylist 24/7 + hair extensions and a little photoshop". I spend most of the time with my hair up anyway for work.

lapushka
April 14th, 2019, 04:33 AM
That's why I'm starting to think shorter isn't a good idea. When I was shorter i was a pain to style it for dance shows, specially for belly dance when people think about it, they think about a girl with long locks... Thank you for the reality check :)

You're welcome! When I started to think like that, linking it to real events and things that were coming up, how I would be presenting myself then, it for sure helped me see that short wasn't an option, and that I had to get out of that cycle of trimming it and shaving it again and again. I hope it helps you some! :flower:

Good luck with *whatever* you decide. We won't judge!