I am at my wits' end.

[GlassEyes]

I am so freaking frustrated right now that I feel the need to make a topic to solve it. My hair is driving me @#$%^#* crazy.

Here's the deal, a few months ago, I decided "Hey, my hair's a pain, lets see if there's something easier" because, even though CO was working fine for me, I, despite appearences, wish my hair wasn't so much work. So I bought some of that mixed chicks crud they're always advertising here after watching a video on youtube.

It wasn't worth it. Soft hair, loads of frizz. So I clarified (had ocnes) and washed it out, and went back to CO.

Then the problems started. Before then, CO worked WITHOUT FAIL with the system I had. Wash with a thinner conditioner, then a thicker one, then use a drop of the thin one as a leave in, cover it with a mix of coconut, olive, and jojoba oil, and YAY. But after that, it started frizzing in odd plaes, and the curl wouldn't form as nicely on average. I still had good days, bu tey weren't as often. It drove me insane.

So I started experimenting again. I bought Shampoo bars. D: I'm wasn't even sure if they were a mistake or not, but they left a filmy layer on my hair and the results were hit and miss. Now, however, they caused buildup and limp hair so I had to clarify AGAIN to get rid of it, and still my frizzy hair is going berserk on the top of my head. D<

I haven't worn it down in two weeks, and god knows I've tried. Wearing my hair up only causes more damage because it's not long enough to put up dry, and I use bandanas so it's exacerbated by the rubbin against the cloth. I'm really at my wits end.

I just want something that works already. Help? D:

[jastark84]

I can understand when that happens to yohur hair. The same thing kinda happened to me, and it took my hair about 2 weeks to behave like it did before. This is the method I use now, http://biracialhair.org/Welcome.aspx, it had been a godsend for my hair.

[HairColoredHair]

Don't do too many things too quickly! Sometimes hair needs to adapt!

If you have to go to a WC, CWC, etc for a while to calm everything down and then try experimenting again.

How were you washing with the shampoo bars? I found that with my water I had to soap twice and occasionally do a vinegar rinse to restore a pH balance. :)

Maybe try another way to put it up as well?

[GlassEyes]

I can understand when that happens to yohur hair. The same thing kinda happened to me, and it took my hair about 2 weeks to behave like it did before. This is the method I use now, http://biracialhair.org/Welcome.aspx, it had been a godsend for my hair.

I've seen that site before, but I never tried it. I'll give it a shot, though my hair freaks out with too much conditioner in it, apparently. D:

@Haircoloredhair: I tried vinegar, but I don't think my hair likes it much. As far as putting it up, I cna do it when ti's dry ONLY if I have a bandana on me because of my layers, unlessI leave them loose in the front, and that can be annoying in itself. It's just too short to do much of anything with. I tried segmented tails for a while (short ones), but the ties came out with hairs on them, so I'd like to avoid them. D:

The only thing I ca think to do is cornrow it, but I hate that option even more. -_-;; They hurt.

[ktani]

I am so freaking frustrated right now that I feel the need to make a topic to solve it. My hair is driving me @#$&#37;^#* crazy.

Here's the deal, a few months ago, I decided "Hey, my hair's a pain, lets see if there's something easier" because, even though CO was working fine for me, I, despite appearences, wish my hair wasn't so much work. So I bought some of that mixed chicks crud they're always advertising here after watching a video on youtube.

It wasn't worth it. Soft hair, loads of frizz. So I clarified (had ocnes) and washed it out, and went back to CO.

Then the problems started. Before then, CO worked WITHOUT FAIL with the system I had. Wash with a thinner conditioner, then a thicker one, then use a drop of the thin one as a leave in, cover it with a mix of coconut, olive, and jojoba oil, and YAY. But after that, it started frizzing in odd plaes, and the curl wouldn't form as nicely on average. I still had good days, bu tey weren't as often. It drove me insane.

So I started experimenting again. I bought Shampoo bars. D: I'm wasn't even sure if they were a mistake or not, but they left a filmy layer on my hair and the results were hit and miss. Now, however, they caused buildup and limp hair so I had to clarify AGAIN to get rid of it, and still my frizzy hair is going berserk on the top of my head. D<

I haven't worn it down in two weeks, and god knows I've tried. Wearing my hair up only causes more damage because it's not long enough to put up dry, and I use bandanas so it's exacerbated by the rubbin against the cloth. I'm really at my wits end.

I just want something that works already. Help? D:

I think that you just need to brake down what happened.

You were happy with COing. COing can require clarifying every so often but you were happy with it and your hair was balanced.

First you tried the Mixed Chicks products. They disrupted the balance, by adding too much coating that required clarifying.

Then shampoo bars, which require vinegar rinses because they can leave waxy build-up otherwise and are alkaline.

Nothing that you have done is damaging, IMO. It was just too much product that caused build-up.

Clarifying does not mean that your have to use anything harsh.

You can use a clear non additive shampoo for normal hair, without oils or silicones. It can be inexpensive.

Try that for a bit to get the excess waxy ingredients out of your hair and follow the shampoo with one of your usual light conditioners.

Then gradually, go back to the routine that you liked and that worked so well for you, the COing.

Sometimes it can take awhile to remove excess coatings from the hair. It can take patience but it is better with dry or fragile hair, to go slowly IMO, than to use something harsh to clarify and have to compensate with having to replace lost moisture.

[GlassEyes]

I've pm'ed you ktani.

In any case, I'm seriously about ready to cut it all off. I tried the biracial hair thing today, and it doesn't work. My hair isn't thick or coarse enough to handle that much conditioner. I've ended up putting it up, AGAIN. And that's only going to exacerbate the damage already done.

UGGHGHGHG. WHY CAN'T IT GO BACK TO NORMAL!?

[ktani]

I replied to your pm.

I would not keep trying products that you are not familiar with at this point and apply the 2 week rule about cutting your hair (2 weeks to think about it but not do anything).

[GlassEyes]

Thank you for your help ktani.

I'm currently on the month rule, actuall; it's been more than two weeks.

[Curlsgirl]

I can understand when that happens to yohur hair. The same thing kinda happened to me, and it took my hair about 2 weeks to behave like it did before. This is the method I use now, http://biracialhair.org/Welcome.aspx, it had been a godsend for my hair.




I've pm'ed you ktani.

In any case, I'm seriously about ready to cut it all off. I tried the biracial hair thing today, and it doesn't work. My hair isn't thick or coarse enough to handle that much conditioner. I've ended up putting it up, AGAIN. And that's only going to exacerbate the damage already done.

UGGHGHGHG. WHY CAN'T IT GO BACK TO NORMAL!?

I really like this routine she suggests and without having ever read it I follow it almost exactly with a couple of differences. Instead of leaving a conditioner in and rinse it out and THEN apply a controlled amount of thick conditioner through my hair. I also don't section my curls as I find they do this on their own naturally after scrunching and I don't comb except in the shower usually with the conditioner on my hair.

[GlassEyes]

I really like this routine she suggests and without having ever read it I follow it almost exactly with a couple of differences. Instead of leaving a conditioner in and rinse it out and THEN apply a controlled amount of thick conditioner through my hair. I also don't section my curls as I find they do this on their own naturally after scrunching and I don't comb except in the shower usually with the conditioner on my hair.

That would be my normal routine, except I oil after putting some conditioner in.

[ktani]

Thank you for your help ktani.

I'm currently on the month rule, actuall; it's been more than two weeks.

You are most welcome. I have been through almost everything with my hair at one time or another and I completely empathize.

[Curlsgirl]

That would be my normal routine, except I oil after putting some conditioner in.

Yep I do that too sometimes but lately I have been leaving the oil off more as I don't seem to need it as much and it stays "clean" longer.

I can't use shampoo bars or non SLS shampoo. They just don't do good with my hair.

Are you using a good thick leave-in conditioner and using enough of it? The thin ones just don't work for me. I love Biolage conditioning balm.

[lora410]

After the shampoo bars did you do a diluted vinegar rinse or citric acid rinse? Those really are a must with shampoo bar because they are very high ph levels. You would noticed that the film turns nice and slippery after the rinse. Your hair will be poofy the day after then the 2nd day it will be very nice

[GlassEyes]

Yep I do that too sometimes but lately I have been leaving the oil off more as I don't seem to need it as much and it stays "clean" longer.

I can't use shampoo bars or non SLS shampoo. They just don't do good with my hair.

Are you using a good thick leave-in conditioner and using enough of it? The thin ones just don't work for me. I love Biolage conditioning balm.

I'm sure. I use the conditioning balm as well. xD; I used it once as a leave-in and it wasn't great.

My hair is weird; it used to love being caked with conditioner, and now it can't decide whether it likes less or more. :(

[ktani]

Under the circumstances, less is more, IMO.

[rhubarbarin]

Glass Eyes PLEASE don't cut your hair! I think it's just dried out and imbalenced from doing too many different things in a short time. I've been there (in particular with shampoo bars, which dry my hair out like crazy and can mess it up for weeks) and sometimes it takes your hair quite some time to look good again. Don't despair. Do some deep treatments. Maybe clarify one more time with a clear SLS shampoo first, just to make sure it's not soap residue, etc that is causing the problem.

I don't think tying it under a bandana is very damaging (it might make your hair a little frizzy from friction, but it's not destroying it.. I know a girl with very nice long curly hair who wears it under a hijab most of the time). Just keep it out of sight and out of mind, go back to your old routine, and wait for your beautiful curl definition to come back

[ktani]

I completely agree.

The less you do now, the better and only with things you know. Sles shampoos are designed to cut through build-up and they do not have to be and are not harsh as a rule.

Your hair is gorgeous and I do not think that cutting it off is the solution.

[Peggy E.]

I've pm'ed you ktani.

In any case, I'm seriously about ready to cut it all off. I tried the biracial hair thing today, and it doesn't work. My hair isn't thick or coarse enough to handle that much conditioner. I've ended up putting it up, AGAIN. And that's only going to exacerbate the damage already done.

UGGHGHGHG. WHY CAN'T IT GO BACK TO NORMAL!?


Please, don't cut - see the Constitution, referring to the "Two Weeks Rule" (First Amendment?!) - and I'm going to suggest you throw that garbage AWAY. Or maybe send it along to someone here who might be able to use it without such unfortunate results.

Probably the most difficult, and important, aspect of growing long hair is the mental struggle with our sense of impatience. Our hair doesn't grow "fast enough" nor does it appear, in our overly critical eyes, to be as beautiful as we'd envisioned when first we decided to grow very long hair.

Anything worth having is worth waiting for and working towards. Sometimes that requires you to stay the course in a routine that's working well, even if it isn't exactly the way you'd always hoped and dreamed your hair would look.

Also, remember that you see problems no one else ever notices, so if it's better for your hair at this length to wear it down, I'd go ahead and do so. Instead of "frizz" think "fullness!"

You will have the hair you want, but it will take time, patience and perseverance to get you to your grand hair reward. Best of luck!

[chelles2kids]

The first thing I would suggest is to breath! :grouphug:
We've all been down this road, trust me!;)

The first thing I would suggest is to drop everything & go back to your routine pre-LHC (Did I just say that? Yes, I did:p).
I mean you had hair before joining the boards and you were caring for it before, so take a big step back from the information overload and just begin again, so to speak.
I'm not even saying that your old routine is the best for you hair, but right now, with going back & forth and changing this or that, your not having good results either, right?

*THE* biggest mistake that I made when I joined was to get too overzealous and I wanted to try everything, too many routines/products and too much time.:rolleyes:

Start looking at posts of members that have similar hair to yours. What are they using, what products aren't working, what have they given rave reviews about?
Then, I would suggest only adding in one new product/routine at a time. Depending on a person's individual hair, it can take up to an entire month (sometimes longer) to get the true results of trying something new.
Allow yourself the time. As others have already mentioned, patience.

I definately don't think, in your circumstance, that cutting will solve your problems and remember, it'll only take that much longer to grow it.
So start where you are and move forward from here and remember you are not the first person, or the last, to go through this feeling overwhelmed stage. It will pass.:flowers:

[JessTheMess]

No!! Don't cut your gorgeous curls off!!!!

I went crazy with trying too many things when I first found LHC and my hair was a rat's nest for a week, maybe two. I clarified every couple of days and used a coneless conditioner afterwards. Then I did a SMT after it all, and my hair has been nice ever since:cheese:

[cindy58]

Your hair doesn't sound hopeless, as others have said, maybe a bit too much messing around with different things.

I hope you get it back where you want it, I think it looks really great in your profile pics.

[Anje]

How long after clarifying have you gone back to CO? My hair tends to be extra fluffy/frizzy for several washes after clarifying, and I imagine that the effect is only magnified in curlier hair. Extra use of the heavier conditioner (maybe that as a leave-in?) might help bring your hair back to normal more quickly. Give your hair time and moisture, and I imagine it will start behaving for you again.

[Dolly]

OK, popping in to add another option. The vinegar rinse......you said your hair didn't like it. Have you tried putting a little dab of conditiner in it? I do that, and it removes all of the shampoo bar residue and makes my hair soft and lovely. It is amazing how muh difference that little drop can make.

[GlassEyes]

How long after clarifying have you gone back to CO? My hair tends to be extra fluffy/frizzy for several washes after clarifying, and I imagine that the effect is only magnified in curlier hair. Extra use of the heavier conditioner (maybe that as a leave-in?) might help bring your hair back to normal more quickly. Give your hair time and moisture, and I imagine it will start behaving for you again.
I've tried using a heavier conditioner as a leave-in, but my hair reacted badly. It got greasy and even frizzier. D:


OK, popping in to add another option. The vinegar rinse......you said your hair didn't like it. Have you tried putting a little dab of conditiner in it? I do that, and it removes all of the shampoo bar residue and makes my hair soft and lovely. It is amazing how muh difference that little drop can make.

After reading the shampoo bar thread, that is EXACTLY what I did. I'll try it again though.

[ktani]

Vinegar rinses just need to be well diluted to avoid dryness issues. I think that the recommded best dilution is 1 tablespoon to a cup of water. However, play with the dilution that suits you best.

Both apple cider vinegar and white vinegar have been reported to work equally well.

They do not remove product build-up like waxes but they can help remove some residues like "soap scum".

I use diluted vinegar to help clean my bathtub and sink. It removes mineral build-up on chrome too.

[Nightshade]

Hang in there, GlassEyes :)

You're getting loads of good advice, it just sounds like your hair needs some time to normalize again. I vote for your old routine and time. Whatever's gone wonky will fade in time.

[catfish]

Hi GlassEyes, I am really sorry that your hair is giving you pains. flower: Our hair type is very different but I find that the weather plays a huge part in how my hair behaves. It can be great for months then just change it's mind. Your hair is gorgeous ( in a manly way of corse) and I agree that cutting it wont fix the problem, you'll just have the same issues with less hair.

My best advise would be to ignore all ads that promise quick fixes :lala: go treat yourself to a favorite activity/dinner/movie/new c.d. and chill.

I find that it helps if I talk nice to my hair :o I know it sounds silly, but looking in the mirror and saying 'Your just having a rough month/week/day huh?' and then treating my hair as simply as I can seems to help.

Give your hair time to :meditate::it will balance out.

[missy60]

Sometimes your hair takes awhile to adjust to the shampoo bars. You have to experiment with the vinegar rinses and stuff. I tried them also and I had the exact thing happen to my hair. It was coated and very frizzy sort of like damaged hair. I also used a clarifying shampoo, but that didnt seem to help at all. I had to shampoo a few times using a more gentle shampoo, but it took a while for my hair to return to normal.

[GlassEyes]

After a brief stint with delicious coney products, I'm back to my old routine.

MY hair's ceased to be such a pain (at least for now xD) And I'm happy once more. And it wasn't the mixed chicks causing it; turns out it's a pretty good product, I just didn't apply it properly. It has a sort of learning curve.

That said, I dislike it. Not because it's bad, but it made me feel wrong using it, like it made my hair...not my hair anymore. xD; It's irrational, but my results with CO are better, so I'm pleased. ^_^

I did add gel back in, however, and am using more jojoba than coconut oil because of the season. My hair's happy again. xD;

Thank you for all the advice!

[Tangles]

See, I really think fussing too much can be counterproductive. You have naturally beautiful soft curls; they don't need to be weighed down with product. I'd recommend finding products that clean well and condition well and sticking with those, perhaps doing hot oil treatments as needed.

[Curlsgirl]

Oooooooooo I am so glad you are doing better! Whew! That was a close one! Glad you didn't cut!

[GlassEyes]

Oooooooooo I am so glad you are doing better! Whew! That was a close one! Glad you didn't cut!

XD Hahaha, me too.