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Stardreamer
March 30th, 2019, 11:55 PM
Hi! If you've seen my posts you'll know that I brush out my curly hair because I dislike tight, shorter curls. Heck, my hair still has curls now but I like brushed curls more.
I really don't have any favourite hairstyles that I would do when I have longer hair. I would have my hair down when it's longer if I could except I have to do updos because my hair is too fluffy. I could talk for hours about how annoying it is when my hair is fluffy. I know I can just stop brushing, but ugh I would never do that.

Are there ways to control curly hair when it's down (when it's brushed)?
Do oils work to keep it flatter when it's down? Any recommendations?
How can I have my hair down without worrying about too much volume or "fluff"?
Does curly hair get weighed down as it gets longer?
Any other tips you have will be welcome. :eek:

Simsy
March 31st, 2019, 12:43 AM
Are there ways to control curly hair when it's down (when it's brushed)?
Do oils work to keep it flatter when it's down? Any recommendations?
How can I have my hair down without worrying about too much volume or "fluff"?
Does curly hair get weighed down as it gets longer?
Any other tips you have will be welcome. :eek:

In all honesty; the simple answer to most of these questions is to stop brushing and switch to a wide tooth comb. The brush separates individual strands and creates fluff or poof. The comb helps keep small clumps of hair together, allowing curls to form together and reducing the overall size of everything. Extra moisture (Lotions, creams, gels, oils, conditioner, ect.), will help the curls calm down and clump together into actual curls as opposed to poof factor. I personally have luck with soaking in conditioner and adding copious amounts of oil. Check out the curly girl method for more ideas that might help. If you still prefer the brushed look, have a look at vintage styles; many of them have brushed curls as their base. Extra moisture will still help with these; curls really do need that extra help. The coils slow down the oil from the scalp; thatís why straight hair doesnít have the same issue.

As for the last question; depends on the curl pattern. Most of us curlies will eventually lose the curl closer to the scalp as we get longer. I still have curl on the bottom half and Iím past classic.

As a side tip; if you still insist on leaving your hair loose; try a bit of hairspray or gel to help everything stay in position. I had no luck with leaving my curls loose; I eventually had to concede defeat and restrain my hair at all times.

milosmomma
March 31st, 2019, 02:50 AM
Is it possible for you to stretch your curls with a cinnabun? I think bunwaves are what you're describing, stretching out your texture and making it easier to wear down. You can make double or multiple buns to get more defined waves too.

LadyCelestina
March 31st, 2019, 03:18 AM
You need to brush it, then add products back to it and sort of slick it down strand by strand with your palms. You can wet your palms (if you're using conditioner), that will give you less poof but also reactivate some of the curls.


THEN put it in a bun or a plait. Leave it there for as long as you can. This will further loosen your texture and decrease poof. Once you take the hair out, you can slick it one more time with mousse or a hold product of your choice, or silicone serum/oil . Only brush it when it's time to put it back in a bun unless you used a hold product, in which case it's better to wash it out.


Silicones are great for this, oils are good but easy to overdo.



Anyway, you can also style it straighter while wet. I brush my roots with tangle teezer while damp and finger detangle the length to make it lie straight, then when it's 95% dry I add some products to it (leave in conditioner, oil, mousse... what have you) I put it in a bun (cinnamon, nautilus...) or a braid. Leave it for as long as possible. Don't brush after you let it out of the bun.

You can also blow dry your hair straight-ish on cool setting. But I avoid it because the results are pretty much the same, except that much brushing while wet gives more mechanical damage.

lapushka
March 31st, 2019, 04:42 AM
Hi! If you've seen my posts you'll know that I brush out my curly hair because I dislike tight, shorter curls. Heck, my hair still has curls now but I like brushed curls more.
I really don't have any favourite hairstyles that I would do when I have longer hair. I would have my hair down when it's longer if I could except I have to do updos because my hair is too fluffy. I could talk for hours about how annoying it is when my hair is fluffy. I know I can just stop brushing, but ugh I would never do that.

Are there ways to control curly hair when it's down (when it's brushed)?
Do oils work to keep it flatter when it's down? Any recommendations?
How can I have my hair down without worrying about too much volume or "fluff"?
Does curly hair get weighed down as it gets longer?
Any other tips you have will be welcome. :eek:

I hate to bring it to you, but if you leave it alone (no brushing) then style it with products that weigh it down (LOC/LCO), so curl cream, or leave in, gel, serum, you will "flatten" it out the best. Try looking at MAD curls channel for instance, or India Batson here on YT.

It's the brushing that breaks up that pattern and makes it stand on end and then all bets are off!

LadyCelestina
March 31st, 2019, 05:12 AM
^ I think Stardreamer doesn't want to encourage the curl though - they want their hair to be straighter, and while I agree that properly moisturized hair is key, when attempting to wear your curls in a straighter style you often have to brush or comb it a bit :)

Simsy
March 31st, 2019, 05:38 AM
^ I think Stardreamer doesn't want to encourage the curl though - they want their hair to be straighter, and while I agree that properly moisturized hair is key, when attempting to wear your curls in a straighter style you often have to brush or comb it a bit :)

About my only suggestion for that would be bunning for a few days. My curl rarely survives more than a couple of days.

lapushka
March 31st, 2019, 05:40 AM
^ I think Stardreamer doesn't want to encourage the curl though - they want their hair to be straighter, and while I agree that properly moisturized hair is key, when attempting to wear your curls in a straighter style you often have to brush or comb it a bit :)

Yes, but I wonder if she tried the method yet. Because you can't knock it until you try.

I know how I was as a teen, I brushed it all out constantly too, and then in my 30s I started to do this differently encouraged by CG and OMG. My hair wasn't poofy anymore and it behaved and lay flat to my head (but in waves).

I mean, at some point there is no escaping your texture.

So my question is, have you tried doing it curly (properly) yet? So not just wash, condition and leave it to dry, because that is going to be poofy! You need to actually put a styling potion in there for it to be no frizz, lay flat.

Curly Suzy on YT is another one to watch!

Other than that, I have no idea either. :shrug:

LadyCelestina
March 31st, 2019, 06:13 AM
Yes, but I wonder if she tried the method yet. Because you can't knock it until you try.

I know how I was as a teen, I brushed it all out constantly too, and then in my 30s I started to do this differently encouraged by CG and OMG. My hair wasn't poofy anymore and it behaved and lay flat to my head (but in waves).

I mean, at some point there is no escaping your texture.

So my question is, have you tried doing it curly (properly) yet? So not just wash, condition and leave it to dry, because that is going to be poofy! You need to actually put a styling potion in there for it to be no frizz, lay flat.

Curly Suzy on YT is another one to watch!

Other than that, I have no idea either. :shrug:
For a moment I thought OMG is an acronym for a haircare method, lol :lol:

But yeah that's true, if you haven't tried the CG styling at all yet, Stardreamer, definitely do! CG is a good starting point for most curlies/wavies. It'll help you get down some of the basics, and then you can tweak it to suit your needs.

Plus there might be some occassions where you'll want your hair to look curlier, and knowing how to achieve it is really helpful.

enting
March 31st, 2019, 07:26 AM
The sleekest my hair gets is by combing it and then applying a bit of oil. Then again, I have the kind of wurls/curls that like to pretend they never existed once I comb them.

I can't tell you what type of oil your hair will like, though, I only know what oils work for my hair. My hair's favorite is sesame oil.
In my experience curls do stretch out more with longer hair, but I've seen some curlyhairs who don't seem to have that much stretching going on.

I will say that as far as fluffiness goes, at least for me, combing with a wide toothed comb creates far less static and fluff than using a brush does.

gingerninja
March 31st, 2019, 07:31 AM
Applying coconut oil and argan really weigh down my frizzyness after washing, as well as using really thick moisturising conditioners like the one's shea moisture do as they almost turned my hair straight.

lapushka
March 31st, 2019, 10:06 AM
For a moment I thought OMG is an acronym for a haircare method, lol :lol:

But yeah that's true, if you haven't tried the CG styling at all yet, Stardreamer, definitely do! CG is a good starting point for most curlies/wavies. It'll help you get down some of the basics, and then you can tweak it to suit your needs.

Plus there might be some occassions where you'll want your hair to look curlier, and knowing how to achieve it is really helpful.

LOL!

That is all very true! Also, no way I would have ever thought to try something else when I was a teen. I kept brushing my hair, and I would not hear of anything else. I crimped it with a crimping iron to "control" my poof... by creating my own poof. LOL. It sort of worked. The pictures I had taken for that year (class pics) my mom has a wallet size in her wallet. She LOVES that picture to bits!

Aeonian
March 31st, 2019, 02:52 PM
You know what's so crazy about floofy hair? You can control it by putting lotions, oils and other stuff on your hair, making a bun, a braid that tones down the floof but the moment you step outside, the wind, no matter how gentle, floofs the bloody hair! Well, in my case it always floofs! I always look like a crazy lady with my poofy, floofy wurlies :)

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 03:05 PM
Is it possible for you to stretch your curls with a cinnabun? I think bunwaves are what you're describing, stretching out your texture and making it easier to wear down. You can make double or multiple buns to get more defined waves too.

Is a cinnabun the easy twisted bun that seems to be the go-to for many girls/women?
Yes I think it works.

https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=148629&page=22&p=3661286&viewfull=1#post3661286 This is how my hair gets after it's been brushed. It's super easy to stretch out my curls like this. A few buns and brushes and my curl pattern is about gone.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 03:06 PM
^ I think Stardreamer doesn't want to encourage the curl though - they want their hair to be straighter, and while I agree that properly moisturized hair is key, when attempting to wear your curls in a straighter style you often have to brush or comb it a bit :)

Yeah you got it lol

gingerninja I used argan oil on my hair yesterday and I didn't have my hair down for long, but when I did it was a lot flatter.

Everyone thanks for your contributions. I really don't think I can stop fighting my curls though. I think it might be that my childhood with short curly hair affected me now. It would be horrifying to go back to that.

blackgothicdoll
March 31st, 2019, 03:27 PM
Yeah you got it lol

gingerninja I used argan oil on my hair yesterday and I didn't have my hair down for long, but when I did it was a lot flatter.

Everyone thanks for your contributions. I really don't think I can stop fighting my curls though. I think it might be that my childhood with short curly hair affected me now. It would be horrifying to go back to that.

Was it just difficult to deal with, or were you teased? I feel bad hearing that - and no need to talk about it if you don't want to, that's perfectly alright.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 03:43 PM
Was it just difficult to deal with, or were you teased? I feel bad hearing that - and no need to talk about it if you don't want to, that's perfectly alright.

I was bullied and teased a bit for a medical problem (s) that I had as a child. Around 7 to 10 years old, but even older than that I still got teased and hassled. People played mean games with me. I might have been teased for my hair, not sure if I can remember. I had short curly hair and always wanted straight hair so I could fit in and be pretty. The most horrifying experience was all the bullying and nasty teasing I suffered because I was different. I wasn't pretty either from 7-10, glasses and short curly brown hair. Ugh. Life at home wasn't the best and I had so many problems during this period. I wanted to run away and leave home. I had a knife and began collecting stuff to take with me. Life was hell because of family and school. I never fit in and I was told I looked like a boy when I was 11 probably because of my short hair, which was maybe 2 inches long all over my head? (Can't remember exactly). I saw my friends with gorgeous long hair and they were popular so I guess I made a vow somehow, to become better... to never go back to being ugly... and bullied.

Aside from my medical conditions, the bullying, my family, I would probably have liked my curly hair. I had to change myself. When I talk about how I was bullied I feel so upset and angry. It ruined me, just about. My medical condition affects everyday life. I feel so upset and I have to get away from here. I can't ever go back to my past, because I was disliked so much.

So yeah... I suppose that contributed a lot to it. Eek. I'm a lot different now but still the same in some ways - but I have to leave my old self behind.
When I discovered I could brush out my hair at 11 years old, I was thrilled. My friend told me my hair looked really good and that moment kind of stuck in my head. I've been doing it ever since, I ran with it.

Edit: Sorry for the rant.

CopperButterfly
March 31st, 2019, 03:50 PM
Another thing you could try as your hair gets long enough for it, is hair wrapping. It's a good damage free way to straighten hair, and add some good moisturizer and you'll probably find you can get hair that's pretty smooth.

Good luck. I think curls are beautiful and often have wished for them. It's funny how the grass is always greener on the other side.

ynne
March 31st, 2019, 03:56 PM
Are there ways to control curly hair when it's down (when it's brushed)?Ideas:
Try combing it instead.
Always apply some kind of smoothing serum before you comb it (to avoid floofing it up), and ideally, you could just do that with your fingers! But if you do have to dry comb/brush, I'd do so with a product.
Serums do a lot for smoothing down my hair when it's already "brushed out." :) Ones that contain oils soak up well into my hair but you might have to experiment! I loved Biosilk but it's quite pricy.


Do oils work to keep it flatter when it's down? Any recommendations?
Soaking the hair with leave-in conditioner seems to weight it down, so I imagine oils would do the same, and you can apply them again between washing (just on your hair ends). I cannot use coconut oil without my hair turning greasy but people say argan or jojoba (?) oil are lighter.


Does curly hair get weighed down as it gets longer?
Yes! Check out my thread (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=149295), the photos demonstrate that I got looser curl pattern & it started to actually grow down instead of flying off to the universe. And that's when I had no idea how to look after it, so your results should be better.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 04:07 PM
Another thing you could try as your hair gets long enough for it, is hair wrapping. It's a good damage free way to straighten hair, and add some good moisturizer and you'll probably find you can get hair that's pretty smooth.

Good luck. I think curls are beautiful and often have wished for them. It's funny how the grass is always greener on the other side.

Do you wish you had the volume that comes with curls? xD

blackgothicdoll
March 31st, 2019, 04:15 PM
Oh Stardreamer, I'm so sorry to hear all of that. It does sound terrible and I can understand how your curls kind of tied into the rest of those experiences for you. I do hope things continue to get better. I think there will come a time, whenever that is, that you'll be able to disconnect the negative times with your curly hair, but I can understand that those bad feelings may still be fresh and it's not all that simple to snap your fingers and forget about it. I just hope you know that the way that anyone treats you, friends, family, schoolmates, none of that is a reflection of your self worth or your beauty. You read as a sweet and wonderful person, I'm sure you are beautiful curls or no curls, and you're young and only have more and more room to bloom into an amazing lady.

OK, now getting back on subject, I think you've got some good suggestions. Here's a video on wrapping if you haven't seen it, if brushing your hair straight works than I think wrapping would really work, you'd add products so that it dries very smooth.


https://youtu.be/m1RO-d1Z9Hs

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 04:52 PM
Oh Stardreamer, I'm so sorry to hear all of that. It does sound terrible and I can understand how your curls kind of tied into the rest of those experiences for you. I do hope things continue to get better. I think there will come a time, whenever that is, that you'll be able to disconnect the negative times with your curly hair, but I can understand that those bad feelings may still be fresh and it's not all that simple to snap your fingers and forget about it. I just hope you know that the way that anyone treats you, friends, family, schoolmates, none of that is a reflection of your self worth or your beauty. You read as a sweet and wonderful person, I'm sure you are beautiful curls or no curls, and you're young and only have more and more room to bloom into an amazing lady.

OK, now getting back on subject, I think you've got some good suggestions. Here's a video on wrapping if you haven't seen it, if brushing your hair straight works than I think wrapping would really work, you'd add products so that it dries very smooth.


https://youtu.be/m1RO-d1Z9Hs

Thanks ! :o I will check it out

enting
March 31st, 2019, 05:01 PM
blackgothicdoll said it better than I ever could. Peer comments can leave such an imprint :grouphug:.


Possibly when your hair is much longer, curls will look and feel different on you and you may come to like them then. Either way, you do what makes you feel comfortable and happy with you, that's the most important thing.

I just remembered another thing - making a rope out of my hair can stretch out my curls more than a braid will. A braid will give me braidwaves but a rope will give me more of a body wave. However, the wrapping that blackgothicdoll linked to looks like it would be even more effective.

Lots of luck and let us know how you get on!

milosmomma
March 31st, 2019, 05:09 PM
I am glad you're moving forward with your life, it is inspirational for many of us who have felt that same way :) I agree with wrapping. The buns I suggested earlier will give you more curl than you want. I thought you wanted stretched out curls, but wrapping should give you fairly straight results and I second or third that suggestion.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 05:18 PM
Thank you guys ! I'm trying to move forwards gradually but I think my mother wants me to fail in life. Ah well.
The video looks incredible at a quick glance. Sometime I gotta try that method; I believe in the past I may have attempted to wrap my hair *lol*

JennGalt
March 31st, 2019, 05:32 PM
Your story sounds a lot like mine, Stardreamer, except I wasn’t mistaken for a boy since I developed really early and got made fun of for that too. Sorry you had to go through all that.

Wrapping doesn’t work for me, so I tend to use a tight cinnabun to stretch my hair once it’s mostly dry. I apply a styler and the tie a silky headscarf around everything but the bun to help flatten things out as my hair dries. I do this post-wash and anytime I need a less frizzy look.

I also am very picky about when and which humectants I use on my hair. Glycerin will cause (among other problems) increased shrinkage, volume and severe tangling for me, so I refuse to use it in leave in products anymore. Propylene glycol will act similarly, but doesn’t seem to affect my hair as strongly as glycerin does. I will only use film forming humectants like aloe and flaxseed gel once a few days have passed since wash day. Take that with a grain of salt, since some people need glycerin for moisture and you may or may not be one of them. But it’s usually high on the ingredient list for curl defining creams for a reason.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 06:32 PM
Your story sounds a lot like mine, Stardreamer, except I wasn’t mistaken for a boy since I developed really early and got made fun of for that too. Sorry you had to go through all that.

Wrapping doesn’t work for me, so I tend to use a tight cinnabun to stretch my hair once it’s mostly dry. I apply a styler and the tie a silky headscarf around everything but the bun to help flatten things out as my hair dries. I do this post-wash and anytime I need a less frizzy look.

I also am very picky about when and which humectants I use on my hair. Glycerin will cause (among other problems) increased shrinkage, volume and severe tangling for me, so I refuse to use it in leave in products anymore. Propylene glycol will act similarly, but doesn’t seem to affect my hair as strongly as glycerin does. I will only use film forming humectants like aloe and flaxseed gel once a few days have passed since wash day. Take that with a grain of salt, since some people need glycerin for moisture and you may or may not be one of them. But it’s usually high on the ingredient list for curl defining creams for a reason.

Bullying makes me so mad >:(
And is it just me that thinks chemicals are so cool? Especially organics. Isn't glycerin propan-1,2,3-triol?
On topic, I don't use many products on my hair. The shampoo I use is a necessary for my hair to be soft, and shiny and clean. I feel that it's harmful. I use common Palmolive shampoo. Does anyone have any ideas about Palmolive?

JennGalt
March 31st, 2019, 07:07 PM
From the cursory search I just did, it would appear that is indeed another name for glycerin. Thanks :) I haven’t seen that in any if my ingredient lists but will deffo check for it in any new finds :) If I avoid certain humectants, most of my curly poofiness is gone by day 3 or 4 post wash.

I don’t use many products anymore either, but oil, a good detangler, and flaxseed gel really help with the poofiness. Olive and coconut oils seem to work best for me and work well together, but my hair is difficult to weigh down so ymmv. (I brush my curls out too, btw, and don’t even want to imagine how poofy I’d get now without oils!)

Can’t help wih the Palmolive though. I’m guessing you’re not in the US, and over here Palmolive only sells dish soap.

Stardreamer
March 31st, 2019, 07:38 PM
From the cursory search I just did, it would appear that is indeed another name for glycerin. Thanks :) I haven’t seen that in any if my ingredient lists but will deffo check for it in any new finds :) If I avoid certain humectants, most of my curly poofiness is gone by day 3 or 4 post wash.

I don’t use many products anymore either, but oil, a good detangler, and flaxseed gel really help with the poofiness. Olive and coconut oils seem to work best for me and work well together, but my hair is difficult to weigh down so ymmv. (I brush my curls out too, btw, and don’t even want to imagine how poofy I’d get now without oils!)

Can’t help wih the Palmolive though. I’m guessing you’re not in the US, and over here Palmolive only sells dish soap.

I'm definitely not in the US, and Palmolive soap wouldn't ever be a last resort for me

lapushka
April 1st, 2019, 08:55 AM
Bullying makes me so mad >:(
And is it just me that thinks chemicals are so cool? Especially organics. Isn't glycerin propan-1,2,3-triol?
On topic, I don't use many products on my hair. The shampoo I use is a necessary for my hair to be soft, and shiny and clean. I feel that it's harmful. I use common Palmolive shampoo. Does anyone have any ideas about Palmolive?

Palmolive is a good brand. I used it in the past (long time ago). The Palmolive Naturals, it was called here. I think the surfactant on there is a tad milder too than regular sulfates. Which is why I had to give that up.

elfynity
April 1st, 2019, 11:37 AM
Hi! If you've seen my posts you'll know that I brush out my curly hair because I dislike tight, shorter curls. Heck, my hair still has curls now but I like brushed curls more.
I really don't have any favourite hairstyles that I would do when I have longer hair. I would have my hair down when it's longer if I could except I have to do updos because my hair is too fluffy. I could talk for hours about how annoying it is when my hair is fluffy. I know I can just stop brushing, but ugh I would never do that.

Are there ways to control curly hair when it's down (when it's brushed)?
Do oils work to keep it flatter when it's down? Any recommendations?
How can I have my hair down without worrying about too much volume or "fluff"?
Does curly hair get weighed down as it gets longer?
Any other tips you have will be welcome. :eek:

My hair is spirally but fine, so I am not sure if this could help you ... I comb my hair straight while it is drying. Every hour or so, I just comb it again to straighten the curls out as much as I can. It works for me.

Milady_DeWinter
April 1st, 2019, 12:23 PM
What fluffiness

https://i.imgur.com/2bRDiGv.jpg

lapushka
April 1st, 2019, 02:28 PM
Milady, the fluff is pretty! :) But I like the waves a little more. ;)

Stardreamer
April 1st, 2019, 02:50 PM
Palmolive is a good brand. I used it in the past (long time ago). The Palmolive Naturals, it was called here. I think the surfactant on there is a tad milder too than regular sulfates. Which is why I had to give that up.

I don't really get it, if it's milder wouldn't you want it? It's called Palmolive Naturals here too.

Milady_DeWinter magnificent!

lapushka
April 1st, 2019, 03:43 PM
I don't really get it, if it's milder wouldn't you want it? It's called Palmolive Naturals here too.

I have a finicky scalp, and have to use harsh sulfates. It's all over this forum, but of course you haven't been here long enough. :o It's a little much to get into it, but suffice it to say, I have a scalp condition called SD, aka seborrheic dermatitis. Harsh sulfates is what helps me the most at keeping my scalp squeaky which is what it needs to be. :flower:

SwanFeathers
April 1st, 2019, 04:24 PM
the type 3 and 4 curlies on youtube have a ton of gentle ways to get their hair to loosen their pattern (stretching curls). Biancarenetoday is a good place to start.

CuteCrow
April 1st, 2019, 08:59 PM
Stardreamer I hope this doesn't sound out of place, I don't want to sound inappropriate or like I'm telling your what to do. But based on my own experience I think what you NEED is exactly the opposite, you need to come to terms with your curly hair. Try the curly girl method, learn to like your natural hair and then it's easier to decide if you actually like it more brushed out or it's just a "scar" left by the bullies. When it happens at such young age it makes you feel like whatever they said about you it's the true and one of the best ways to overcome it is doing exactly what they criticise, like in this case embracing your curly hair.(And then doing some deep thinking on what that really means to you ;) )

Fun fact, I actually was bullied for just the opposite than you. I have very frizzy hair and I used to brush my curls out trying to "calm down" the frizz. Where I'm from everyone has this kind of perfectly defined 3b-4a curls and people used to tease me saying that my hair wasn't curly :rolleyes:



Now, answering your initial question. The easiest way is to plait or bun your hair when it's slightly damp (not wet) and with a tiny bit of oil. Left it in there until it's completely dry and then don't brush it, just comb it with your fingers or a wide tooth comb. That way you achieve some loose waves without the fluff

Luna Starsetta
April 1st, 2019, 11:10 PM
Well I love my curls I only brush it to oil it. But I turn this
https://i.postimg.cc/vcbzm4yg/2-20-19-Length.jpg (https://postimg.cc/vcbzm4yg)
Into this
https://i.postimg.cc/5YhYLmff/3-22-19-Color-Growth.jpg (https://postimg.cc/5YhYLmff)

I also find that braiding in two braids out of the shower with a bit of conditioner give me long waves and I add in some oil and so its not frizzy. The ends may still curl if you dont braid down enough. But I do normally wear my hair in its natural state I am sorry to hear the Trama you went though. Self acceptance takes a lot of time. I know. Maybe in time you will be able to wear your beautiful curls like a crown. Until then rock what you choose! As long as it makes you happy! Key word you.

lapushka
April 2nd, 2019, 12:25 PM
Now, answering your initial question. The easiest way is to plait or bun your hair when it's slightly damp (not wet) and with a tiny bit of oil. Left it in there until it's completely dry and then don't brush it, just comb it with your fingers or a wide tooth comb. That way you achieve some loose waves without the fluff

A braid-out is actually a really good idea! :)

ynne
April 3rd, 2019, 05:20 PM
Luna Starsetta, your hair is so pretty, both in its curlier state and after braiding!


But based on my own experience I think what you NEED is exactly the opposite, you need to come to terms with your curly hair. Try the curly girl method, learn to like your natural hair and then it's easier to decide if you actually like it more brushed out or it's just a "scar" left by the bullies.
First of all, I'm really sorry you had an experience like that.
Personally, it took me 8 years to give my hair another try and I still have moments of serious doubts and desperation when it brings back memories. So I kind of feel like these things need their time and everyone's pace is going to be different. But I also hope they (and everyone else with similar stories, of course!) will, eventually, be able to reach some kind of (self)acceptance.

Stardreamer
April 3rd, 2019, 06:50 PM
Thanks, you all. Lots of suggestions here :o

Luna Starsetta
April 3rd, 2019, 08:38 PM
Luna Starsetta, your hair is so pretty, both in its curlier state and after braiding!


First of all, I'm really sorry you had an experience like that.
Personally, it took me 8 years to give my hair another try and I still have moments of serious doubts and desperation when it brings back memories. So I kind of feel like these things need their time and everyone's pace is going to be different. But I also hope they (and everyone else with similar stories, of course!) will, eventually, be able to reach some kind of (self)acceptance.

Thank you :)

spidermom
April 3rd, 2019, 09:28 PM
Honestly, I think the best revenge against bullies is to learn to bring out the best in your curly hair while mentally telling those bullies that they aren't worth your time, so stay the F away from you. This is a very useful thought experiment.

However, it looks like you already have a lot of advice to try, so I'll add one thing - safflower oil. It's very good for porous hair, which curly hair tends to be. It's not very expensive, and you can probably find it in most grocery stores.

Stardreamer
April 3rd, 2019, 10:19 PM
Honestly, I think the best revenge against bullies is to learn to bring out the best in your curly hair while mentally telling those bullies that they aren't worth your time, so stay the F away from you. This is a very useful thought experiment.

However, it looks like you already have a lot of advice to try, so I'll add one thing - safflower oil. It's very good for porous hair, which curly hair tends to be. It's not very expensive, and you can probably find it in most grocery stores.

First time I've heard of that oil. What does argan oil do? I occasionally put some on.

Luna Starsetta
April 4th, 2019, 10:49 AM
First time I've heard of that oil. What does argan oil do? I occasionally put some on.

Argan oil other wise known as liquid gold when sourced and USDA approved is very helpful for taming frizz its good for everyday use and you only need to smooth in 2-4 drops in wet or dry hair! I myself just did some research on it and am looking into getting some myself!