View Full Version : Miss wearing my hair down... Should I cut?
Doreen
March 13th, 2019, 08:28 PM
Hi all. Sorry I've gone several weeks inactive. I have a hair dilemma on my mind now. For a while I have been missing wearing my hair down and have been considering cutting back to TBL or even hip or waist (waist is only about 2"-3" shorter than hip on me; I have high hips). I originally was planning to no-trim for 2019 and try to get back to knee. I'm about an inch past classic now; knee is a little under 8" away. To cut to TBL would be losing around the same amount.
Life has been stressful recently so it is hard to tell whether I am wanting this because of impulse or because 'the time has come' and I have been considering it at the back of my mind for a while. I love taking care of my long hair and want to keep growing it but on the other hand I do think certain outfits and settings would be more fun to just let my hair flow free, which at this point I don't like to do because I get my hair caught on too much stuff and sometimes sit on it by accident.
Another factor is annoying comments I seem to get very frequently if I have my hair down; at this length I prefer to wear my hair up when I go out partially because I don't enjoy strangers coming up to me to make unsolicited remarks. I know I should just ignore them and brush them off but I am not an assertive person, I don't go out often, and it can really ruin a nice day out to deal with overly curious strangers so I just prefer to keep it braided or bunned.
On the other hand, one of the reasons I miss wearing my hair down is because I know other people find me better looking/more attractive that way, so in cutting it I feel like it would partially still be for other people anyway. In general though, I do miss the feeling of it down. When I am at home I wear it down all the time, not for anyone else but just because it's nice.
Lastly, I've been thinking longer sidebangs (wispy, chin-CBLish) might be a good compromise to having some hair down but still keeping the length, even though I've just barely finished growing out my bangs from 2014. I'm kind of terrified to cut my own sidebangs though.... I messed it up once before and it wasn't a good look.
I don't want to have hair regrets. It does give me a lot of joy to take care of my hair and I don't want to be hating it, whatever I decide. I feel secure knowing that if I leave it alone to get to knee, I might be slightly discontent but I won't hate it. I wish it could magically be at waist/TBL when down, and Classic-Knee for updos/braids. Or maybe I should grow to knee and do a big chop to TBL? Don't know if I could handle such a big change. I think what it boils down to is really not enjoying the growth between classic and knee and not knowing what to do with myself.
I appreciate your advice and if you have any sidebang pics/tutorials/stories, positive or negative, that'd be great too!
Five of Five
March 13th, 2019, 08:42 PM
Wearing your hair down feels very freeing, so it is understandable to miss it sometimes when you are out!
I felt the same way as you did, and cut my hair in stages, and was perfectly happy with every new look. I even got bangs cut back in, too. Now I am growing back to classic, but I don't regret any of those cuts.
In your case, I am wondering if cutting the bangs in first might be a good way to start, since you seem a little hesitant to cut off your length in your own heart. Perhaps you could look at some old photos of yourself with bangs, and compare them with more recent photos of yourself with them grown out, and see which feels more "you" at this time.
Of course, there are other things to consider like maintenance and growing them back out if you change your mind, but I actually think that if you are the type who prefers the look of hair up with bangs, that they can be a huge boon to growing your hair out and avoiding mechanical damage!
Since you are type C, you might be able to get away with wearing your hair down a little more often than you currently do. I am sorry to say it, but I think that people would probably still comment on your hair even if it was "only" hip length, though of course that depends on your area. Maybe it would help to enjoy wearing your hair down in social situations where you feel more comfortable, and stick to braids where you think you'd get unsolicited comments?
Lizabeth94
March 13th, 2019, 09:56 PM
When my hair used to be long, I wore it down most of the time because that was the most comfortable to me! I can't really imagine ever having so long that I would have to keep it bunned or braided all the time, because that would make my scalp ache. However, lots of people on here do, so you have to decide what you want more, length (even though it means keeping it tied back 24/7), or practicality so you can wear it down and enjoy it in peace without it getting in the way or people harassing you. :shrug::flower:
Doreen
March 13th, 2019, 10:05 PM
Thanks Five of Five. You're right, I will probably get comments no matter what. When my hair is up, they still find something to comment on without being asked (mostly acquaintances and relatives, but still), so why let it affect me?
When my hair is down, I like it better with no bangs. But when my hair is up, I want bangs to frame my face! At the same certain updos are harder with bangs, so maybe I don't want them. Looking back at old photos of myself with side bangs, I think I look better, but to be fair, I was about 20lbs thinner then too, so that's probably the main reason why I'm thinking that...
The way I see it, my options are (without sending myself into shock by chopping from classic+ to waist):
- Trim off 2 or 3 inches from the length just so I stop sitting on it, and maybe reevaluate for more length trims in a month or two whether to trim to TBL
- Trim to TBL right away
- Trim bangs
- Do both
- Do neither, get back to knee as originally planned for 2019
I am going to wait at least a week, although like I said I have been thinking about doing something with my hair for a while (not drastic, but just to get a little more enjoyment out of it). Just wondering what were the stages/timespan of the trims you did to go from classic to BSL?
Lizbeth94, I think my scalp is very strong by now, although I only wear it up about 24-30 hours a week (I work part time). Sometimes very high buns do give me a headache if I wear it too long though I love the look.
Deborah
March 13th, 2019, 10:40 PM
I think your first idea is good; to cut just two or three inches off and see how you like it. You can then see if you are more comfortable with it, and maybe that will be enough.
Five of Five
March 14th, 2019, 04:02 AM
Doreen good idea to wait a week to sit with these ideas.
It can help to see if you're acting from boredom or annoyance, or fear of damage (all things that could be helped by something other than a cut) or if you genuinely are excited for and want shorter hair and/or bangs.
It is surprising how much of a difference a smaller change can make in how you feel about your hair. If you trimmed three inches, that might turn out to be all you need!
My first cut was quite dramatic, and it was from classic to hip. As silly as it sounds, it was quite difficult to let go of that long-hair identity I had grown attached to after years of reading LHC. So then, it was surprising to me when, on my way back from that haircut, a woman complemented me on my "long hair." Even more surprising was that literally no one noticed the cut - even people who had commented on my hair and even wanted to touch it and play with it in the past. Those two things made me realise that after a certain point of length, it doesn't make any difference to your overall appearance to the majority of people.
Later on I cut up to waist, and when I got bangs, I cut it to BSL (though that was partly due to the damage I got from neglecting my hair, which doesn't seem to be an issue for you)! Originally I had wanted a short bob or lob, but I am glad that I did it in stages, as I loved BSL so much and didn't feel the need to go further at the time. I'd be seriously regretting it now if I had caved into that impulse, so the LHC advice to do things in stages was spot on.
Nini
March 14th, 2019, 04:30 AM
So long as you're not sure I'd wait. And then also maybe work on your hair being for you, and not anyone else ;) It'll be liberating in the long run, whether you keep it long or short or somewhere inbetween.
spidermom
March 14th, 2019, 06:53 AM
I cut my hair back in stages from classic, eventually all the way up to shoulder. Part of my reason was that I didn't want to have to put my hair up all the time. Haha; joke's on me; I discovered that I am extremely irritated by hair on my neck and in my face. So now I'm growing it out again. I didn't regret cutting it, though. I had agonized over my hair length for at least 2 years if not longer, and it was such a relief to just stop it already and get it cut. Plus I had fun with different short hair styles.
MusicalSpoons
March 14th, 2019, 07:21 AM
Maybe a compromise for now might be wearing it 'sort of down' but not quite; that way you could do styles that shorten the loose length and see if that satisfies your desire to wear it down? Sometimes, very occasionally, I feel like wearing my hair in a ponytail around the house for a little while instead of bunned, but the full ponytail length is just too much. So I do the start of a LWB but only the first wraps, to take the remaining length to ~TBL which is much safer! You can do a variety of 'comet bun' styles, but I like the LWB start because it's simple and central so it still pretty much feels like an ordinary ponytail.
As you're unsure, definitely don't do anything yet, but use this time to play around so you get an idea of what exactly you want :) I know you've had calf length before, IIRC, so if you do cut you can clearly grow it back again if/when you want, it's just I guess you don't want to potentially spend the growing-it-back time regretting anything.
I will echo what was said above - to most people, long hair is simply long hair, whether it's hip or knee, and they'll still comment but not actually notice any difference in length. A younger friend of mine had very long hair, somewhere along her thighs as an older child (this was pre-LHC so I don't know exactly how long). She gradually cut it shorter in her teen years, a couple of milestones at a time, and honestly outside her close family I was the only one who noticed until it got to somewhere on her upper back, and then others started to notice. (She's not short, either, so it was several inches each time - but nobody else noticed until a couple of feet had gone! :shake:) So the point is, don't bother factoring other people's comments into your decision :flower:
lapushka
March 14th, 2019, 07:44 AM
I would give it the 2 week rule, if not longer.
I am FTL+ (almost an inch and a half past), and I am growing towards knee for the first time in my life. I have "caught" myself this week on having thougths of shoulder-length cuts. I hate when that happens mid-week because last time it meant that I cut back to hip (and instantly regretted it). This was November of 2016. I started growing it back out and end 2018 I reached FTL. I was so abhorred by the cut that I went past classic, a length I thought I would never surpass.
If you do end up cutting it, do it for the right reasons, and make sure it is about you and you alone. If you only want to cut because other people think it makes you look cuter... don't do it, you will regret that loss of length.
Good luck! :flower:
Zesty
March 14th, 2019, 08:04 AM
Hey, it sounds like we're very close in length! I'm at 43.5", just past classic, with about 8 inches to knee. :o
Anyway, if you do decide to cut back, definitely take yourself just above "sitting on it" length first. That seems to be a huge tipping point in manageability for many people, and might make a bigger difference than you'd think. I would do that before cutting in bangs.
That being said, I wear my hair down sometimes for kicks and don't have much trouble just moving it out of the way, laying it in my lap, etc., even though I can easily sit on it. The first time I hit TBL I thought about chopping all the time (and eventually did) but for some reason this round of growing I never have the urge...
If you're stressed at all, I would wait. Nothing wrong with cutting back if it makes you happy, but you sound very worried about regretting it. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you love your hair. :)
SimplySmile
March 14th, 2019, 09:34 AM
My advice would be if you want to start wearing it down do it. If you want to cut it maybe start with a trim and face framing layers.
I just recently chopped my hair from TBL to BSL and I regret it. I had 2 photos in mind of what I wanted. One was about hip length hair with face framing layers, and one was between APL and BSL with lots of layers all around. I ended up doing the latter. Looking back I wish I would have done the hip length with just face framing layers in the front. I think that would have satisfied my want for change and it would have cleaned up my split ends. My sister and friends told me to go big and do that short one. I let their influence put pressure on me and I regret it. I did want a big change and I wanted to show them I was capable of doing something drastic. But in the end it doesn't matter to them, they said wow that is cool and then moved on. I am the one that is now stuck with BSL hair and missing 15 inches of my hair!
I say take your time and really think about it. I know it is hair and will grow back but it takes a while. You can always cut more off.
lapushka
March 14th, 2019, 10:05 AM
My advice would be if you want to start wearing it down do it. If you want to cut it maybe start with a trim and face framing layers.
I just recently chopped my hair from TBL to BSL and I regret it. I had 2 photos in mind of what I wanted. One was about hip length hair with face framing layers, and one was between APL and BSL with lots of layers all around. I ended up doing the latter. Looking back I wish I would have done the hip length with just face framing layers in the front. I think that would have satisfied my want for change and it would have cleaned up my split ends. My sister and friends told me to go big and do that short one. I let their influence put pressure on me and I regret it. I did want a big change and I wanted to show them I was capable of doing something drastic. But in the end it doesn't matter to them, they said wow that is cool and then moved on. I am the one that is now stuck with BSL hair and missing 15 inches of my hair!
I say take your time and really think about it. I know it is hair and will grow back but it takes a while. You can always cut more off.
Yes, often it's just a "novelty" for the people pressuring you. Then look at you, go "meh" and move on. And then you realize what you just did and that it wasn't for you, but for someone else who doesn't even care.
Doreen
March 14th, 2019, 11:34 AM
I don't want a big change. I know I would regret that. That's why after sleeping on it I'm thinking bangs is probably not the way to go, at least for now. I just don't like drawing attention to myself in general and I feel like having my hair down in public does tend to draw attention. Maybe I will do it next time I'm out with company so they can be a buffer.
I care what other people think because it affects how they treat me, and I don't want to be treated badly. At the same time, I realize that if someone is going to look for an excuse to behave rudely towards me, they will find it regardless of how I'm wearing my hair.
MusicalSpoons, I will definitely try some different buns as you suggested! I'm surprised you remembered my past length; that made me happy! It has been awhile since I was growing from classic to calf and I really don't remember feeling this annoyed with the growing process. At the time, I actually wore it down nearly every day so I think I had gotten used to manipulating it and avoiding sitting on it (I also had thick bangs which prevented the front section from getting in my face so much).
I do have to wear it up for work now but a partial-updo would also be OK and might be the solution for making it past this phase which is very awkward. It seems like there isn't enough excess for it to naturally fall into the space behind where I'm sitting, so instead it has to fall under where I'm sitting and thus I sit on it, if that makes any sense. Like when I had an extra foot of hair past what it is now, I think the weight of the extra hair would lead it away from my body somehow, or maybe I just need to relearn the skill of manipulating it.
Zesty, I think we are at a very similar length! How tall are you? I'm 5'2" (-:
Zesty
March 14th, 2019, 01:58 PM
I'm 5'7". Yet I magically have the same measurements as people significantly shorter than I am. :p (Do I have long calves? I don't understand!) I think it's the same with me and TatsuOni, who if I recall is closer to your height.
MusicalSpoons
March 14th, 2019, 02:44 PM
I'm 5'7". Yet I magically have the same measurements as people significantly shorter than I am. :p (Do I have long calves? I don't understand!) I think it's the same with me and TatsuOni, who if I recall is closer to your height.
In the 'How long is classic on you?" thread, measurements around 41"-43" are very common, even between people with widely differing heights! I'm 5'6" and classic was 42" on me, with 12" to knee. It sounds like classic to knee for you is slightly shorter, so maybe your calves are a few inches longer. Which would be great for getting to knee, but less useful for getting to ankle :lol:
Zesty
March 14th, 2019, 03:06 PM
In the 'How long is classic on you?" thread, measurements around 41"-43" are very common, even between people with widely differing heights! I'm 5'6" and classic was 42" on me, with 12" to knee. It sounds like classic to knee for you is slightly shorter, so maybe your calves are a few inches longer. Which would be great for getting to knee, but less useful for getting to ankle :lol:
Yeah, bodies are weird. :p
(That's why I crop all my photos below the knee, so that you all don't see my embarrassingly long calves! ;) )
Natalia_A00
March 14th, 2019, 07:29 PM
I think it's a good idea to wait some time and consider it if you're not sure. You can cut a little bit and see how you feel about it, and then, maybe cut more.
But I also think, if you feel more comfortable at TBL or WL then go for it! You can still take care of your hair, TBL is very long too. This is just a subjective point of view, but for me hip or tailbone (specially tailbone) are the perfect lengths. Long, beautiful, but practical (for me). If you feel stressed because of your hair and you miss wearing it down then I would go for the change. If you don't like it, it will grow back and this time you will be more sure of what you want.
Be careful about those hair bangs, maybe they will be a nuisance for some hairstyles. But I do agree that they look great.
PS: I also love wearing my hair down, that's why I don't think I will grow it past tailbone, but we'll see.
ynne
March 14th, 2019, 10:33 PM
That's why after sleeping on it I'm thinking bangs is probably not the way to go, at least for now.
Hello! I have no experience with very long hair, but I do have plenty of experience with several types of bangs and cutting them on myself. I imagine it takes a ridiculous amount of time to grow them out with long hair, but from ear or so length, personally I find them easy enough to hide.
You said that you've changed your mind on them, but in case you changed it again, I do recall couple of good tutorials on wispy bangs!
(1) Kamila Bravo has a great, simple tutorial (https://www.instagram.com/p/BA09FJArcHO/) and it results in bangs that just frame the face. And if they are long enough, they should be easy to incorporate into a braid.
(2) I do not know if you are familiar with them, but there is a trend of very soft, see-through bangs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0BlGHSi6EA) in Korea.
Anyways, good luck with your decision, no matter how it ends up. :)
The-Young-Maid
March 15th, 2019, 08:55 AM
I say wait another month then if you still want to, cut back bit by bit. That way if you decide you'd rather have it long you won't be too far from where you started. I'd stay away from bangs for now because those are much harder to grow out then just length.
I totally feel you about wanting to wear it down. I was TB/Classic when I cut back to waist like ...2 years ago? I just wanted to wear it down without worrying about it! I don't regret it at all. I love it. My ends usually look a bit on the wispy side past waist/hip so that was another reason. People also prefer me with waist/hip and I agree that it looks really nice on me. I still get tons of compliments which is nice.
TBL is still long! Don't let the LHCitis get to you!
I'm in the same boat again. I KINDA want to grow to classic because my ends are finally getting thick but at the same time I don't want to be GROWING OUT again. I start thinking about the damage and everything way too much and then hair isn't fun anymore. I still have more thickness growing out that is about BSL rn and I don't want to end up with wispy ends just to say I grew back to classic. Although it would be a nice length for my wedding. It's just such an awkward stage on me! GAHH
Doreen
April 19th, 2019, 01:11 AM
So I've waited a month, and my conclusion is that I am just very stressed/unhappy with several aspects of my life right now, and changing my hair really isn't going to fix that. It might not hurt anything to trim a little either, but ultimately it's less effort to just leave it alone for now. I will re-evaluate in June since that will be the 6-month mark from my last trim at new years, and it's a nice number.
I'm pleasantly surprised at how much introspection/self-evaluation has come from me deciding whether to cut or not. Impulsive trims/cuts are just NOT for me, although I know it's cathartic for some -- waiting has been beneficial for me personally, thinking not just about my hair but life in general. If I had trimmed right away, I probably wouldn't have noticed much or cared, but it's less about the hair and more about my thought process in the past month or so. So there's my little testimonial in favor of the "waiting" rule, in case anyone was wondering. There's no right or wrong reason to cut your hair but there is a decision that will make you happiest and for me, cutting was not it. Not trying to get super deep here; basically, I'm just glad I gave it time! Thanks for all your advice. (-:
Five of Five
April 19th, 2019, 02:52 AM
Doreen that is great that you've done some introspection and come to some interesting conclusions - about your life and your hair! It is nice to know that the "waiting rule" worked well for you.
I hope that the things going on in your life will ease off soon :blossom:
lapushka
April 19th, 2019, 07:03 AM
Doreen, that's great! I'm glad you decided (whatever decision). :)
Begemot
April 19th, 2019, 07:14 AM
There's no right or wrong reason to cut your hair but there is a decision that will make you happiest and for me, cutting was not it.
Well put! :thumbsup:
Dark40
April 20th, 2019, 04:30 PM
No, I don't think you should cut it. If I had classic length hair, and was wearing it down all of the time it would make me feel free, and good about myself. I wouldn't care what others say about it. I have WL+ hair, and for many years I've always worn my hair down. Now, sometimes I do wear it up when I'm at home so that it doesn't get caught onto things. But no, I really think you don't need to cut it at all. Keep growing.
lapushka
April 21st, 2019, 07:13 AM
No, I don't think you should cut it. If I had classic length hair, and was wearing it down all of the time it would make me feel free, and good about myself. I wouldn't care what others say about it. I have WL+ hair, and for many years I've always worn my hair down. Now, sometimes I do wear it up when I'm at home so that it doesn't get caught onto things. But no, I really think you don't need to cut it at all. Keep growing.
She already made her decision, read upthread. ;)
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