PDA

View Full Version : Why are so many hairdressers scissor-happy?



frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 02:33 PM
Sorry if this has been talked about or if there’s a rant thread that I don’t know about, but it really grinds my gears when hairdressers cut your hair when you go in asking for a trim (and showing them what “just a trim” looks like.) and they cut off several inches. Or going to get your hair dyed and they try to pressure you to get a haircut or a new hair style (lob, bob, layers—whatever.) Just no.

My sister had stunning, mid back length hair, with a gorgeous balayage and yes, her hair was a bit damaged after not trimming for a year, plus the bleach/hair dye and she wanted the damaged parts cut off, and she showed her that she wanted APL hair, and yet, the hairdresser cut it off until shoulder length. It’s taken a year for her to get back to where she started. And I can’t tell you how many times hairdressers have cut off more than asked and have tried to thin it out, because they don’t want to deal with styling/washing my thick, long, black hair.

I mean, I don’t get it. Their job is dependent on their clients, so why not listen to what they want?

cjk
March 8th, 2019, 03:45 PM
I think part of it is the fact that they are the stylist. You are not going to a hair cutter, you are going to a stylist. Their job is to style you.

The other part is that they believe they know better. And in the vast majority of cases they actually do.

Be honest, how many of their customers come in and say something to the effect of make me look pretty?

Contrast that with the number that actually know the terminology, actually know what they want, and actually have enough backbone to stand up to them.

I've fired barbers for doing exactly what you described. Their own thing.

lapushka
March 8th, 2019, 04:07 PM
Maybe try looking into:

feye's self-trimming method (blunt, V, or U shape cuts, all one layered) - spidermom has her own spin on this technique, worth checking out the forum for this:
https://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

compact cuts (ponytail method)
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=138127

There are plenty of people on this forum that cut their own hair.

It seems you haven't yet surpassed that stage of fighting with hairdressers.

I would honestly recommend you spend some time reading the forum. :flower:

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 04:12 PM
Maybe try looking into:

feye's self-trimming method (blunt, V, or U shape cuts, all one layered) - spidermom has her own spin on this technique, worth checking out the forum for this:
https://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

compact cuts (ponytail method)
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=138127

There are plenty of people on this forum that cut their own hair.

It seems you haven't yet surpassed that stage of fighting with hairdressers.

I would honestly recommend you spend some time reading the forum. :flower:

Thanks for the links :grin: I will definitely check them out.

I’d love to read more about these kind of experiences and how to deal with hairdressers. Do you have any good thread/article recommendations?

lapushka
March 8th, 2019, 04:14 PM
Thanks for the links :grin: I will definitely check them out.

I’d love to read more about these kind of experiences and how to deal with hairdressers. Do you have any good thread/article recommendations?

Not really. I suggest you hang out here a while, join in the threads that pop up, and just ease into things gradually.

You can always use the search function (advanced search); click on "titles only" and maybe put hairdressers into the query. See what pops up. :flower:

Good luck!

blackgothicdoll
March 8th, 2019, 04:31 PM
Second on the stylist thing - they are stylists, they don't really care about how long your hair is. The most important thing you can tell a stylist before you sit in that hair is 'I'm growing my hair out'. That changes the entire tone of what they end up doing to your hair. I did have one who copped the worst attitude when I said this, grabbed a chunk of hair and started two inches into it, then I had to stop her, then she had an even worse attitude - I should have just gotten out of the chair right there and told her to fix her attitude, but at the time I wasn't in the mood. In the end, she barely took anything off, just like I asked, though I could have lived without the stank-face she was giving the whole time.

My other experience was wonderful, she cut exactly how much I asked (or less), enough that I could pause, look at it, and ask her to cut a little more.

I've posted about my heat damage tales, which aren't completely related, but proof that stylists aren't really there for the length and health of your hair, but to, again, 'style' it as cjk said. Oh yes it'll look good, but will it be beaten like it stole something? Absolutely. I used to let them lay siege upon my hair with the fire of a thousand suns just to get the hair swinging loosely and flowing in the wind effect. It comes at a cost though.

I'm back to no-trimming now, I'll probably get it trimmed once a year and micro-trim on my own as needed. Having used to get trims every three months, but year-long comparison was not good. :( I did not realize that 4 trims of anywhere between half an inch to an inch could mean 2/6 - 4/6 inches that a person grows a year - if one even grows 6 inches a year.

So I would suggest self-trimming, even no trimming if you don't have damage that is actively breaking off (there is a no trim challenge).

val.
March 8th, 2019, 05:05 PM
I'll piggyback on what blackgothicdoll said about the importance of communication. Hairdressers see so many people with different wants and needs. They need to know what you want. They are not mind readers (except the good ones.) Always bring photos if you can. Show them where you want your hair cut to. Never assume that they will know what you want.

Beckstar
March 9th, 2019, 11:14 AM
It's best to bring photo of what you want and go to places that do consultations and ask to see photos of their work.

Kake
March 9th, 2019, 12:42 PM
I've had a couple of really bad experiences with hairdressers, and lots of mediocre ones. I cut my own hair now, because I don't like anything about the experience of going to the h'dresser. I mean, apart from anything else I don't see the sense in spending so much money to get 0.5cm trimmed and a bad blow dry.

I second lapuska's recommendations.

Ylva
March 9th, 2019, 12:50 PM
I agree about the stylist thing as well.

I've been lucky, I guess, or maybe it's just a bit different here. Over here, the customer is in a very strong position against the service provider in a legal sense (or so I imagine at least, in comparison to many other countries), so I think they're a lot more careful with what they do. The most important thing I've communicated to my current stylist (who I've gone to for a year now, that's a record, congrats to her!) is that my definition of long hair is way different from hers. She realised very quickly that every cm counts, and actually frequently cuts off less than I request.

tekla
March 9th, 2019, 12:58 PM
I've also been lucky in a sense that I've found a stylist who is easy communicate with. When I've had a bigger change planned, I've always brought pictures with me and then we've discussed what would work best for my hair type and styling habits. When I'm growing, I've told her that I want to keep as much length as possible and she has always told beforehand how much she thinks needs to be cut off and why and made sure that we're on the same page. She also has a plan for what to do while I'm growing my hair; when I visited her last month, she already had ideas what to do with my hair when I go back a few months later.

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 01:05 PM
I've also been lucky in a sense that I've found a stylist who is easy communicate with. When I've had a bigger change planned, I've always brought pictures with me and then we've discussed what would work best for my hair type and styling habits. When I'm growing, I've told her that I want to keep as much length as possible and she has always told beforehand how much she thinks needs to be cut off and why and made sure that we're on the same page. She also has a plan for what to do while I'm growing my hair; when I visited her last month, she already had ideas what to do with my hair when I go back a few months later.

That is such a nice experience!

Ylva, your hairdresser, if you go to the same one every time, gets to know you if you regularly go.

If you keep going to different ones, the odds definitely aren't in your favor if you can't get your point across well.

Ylva
March 9th, 2019, 01:09 PM
Ylva, your hairdresser, if you go to the same one every time, gets to know you if you regularly go.

If you keep going to different ones, the odds definitely aren't in your favor if you can't get your point across well.

For the past year I've been going to the same one, yes, but before that, I would go to a new one almost every time. Still, in terms of cutting, I never had the experience that they forced anything on me. I was mostly indifferent towards trims, but they were always done with my consent considering the amount cut off etc.

Of course, in the past I've written about my unfortunate experience of the hairdresser who had no idea how to detangle long hair. First, she got it all tangled up in the sink (oh how I hate those sinks) and then tried to brush it starting from the roots. The brush kept getting stuck a few cms down, but she just kept on ripping. My scalp was sooo sore and I was almost fainting at the sight of the hair gathering up in the bristles of the brush. Good thing I'm not quite as stoic now as I was then.

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 02:26 PM
I once had a trainee and they neglected to tell me (she cut it into all sorts of layers and these were the late 80s, I looked like a rocker dude). That was not the intention. I had asked for a few layers and she cut it "up". I had to have the manager come in and she cut it to the shortest layer which was a little below my ear. So you can imagine how much she cut it up! It was BSL before she started! Clearly what is a subtle layer to one isn't a subtle layer to someone else! This girl was stuck waaay in the 80s.

But that is about the *only* bad experience I had in all the years of going to hairdressers. Oh yes, and once when they thinned my pixie out and she somehow yanked my hair out at the root with her shears. Over the course of the month that followed I had stubble over half of my head up top. Ugh...

I'm 46 right now. If that's all in bad experiences I had, then that is not much, right?

I've not been to a hairdresser in over 5 years now. I did have some perms done a number of years ago, while on this board.

MoonRabbit
March 9th, 2019, 02:51 PM
Guess I never had a bad experience either. In fact every stylist I had would cut off less than I asked for at first then I would judge to see if I wanted more length off.

enting
March 9th, 2019, 05:37 PM
blackgothicdoll oh my goodness I love your way with words!

Partially I think it's what people mentioned above, that they're cutting for style, not health and length. Partially I think it's because they simply enjoy cutting hair, and cutting larger amounts may possibly feel more satisfying. After all, they did choose cutting hair as their profession.

In my case I always asked for them to "take off the split ends" (I meant anything that looked dry and frazzled. I now know that that is not the same as splits.) Well, with my lack of knowledge about how to care for my hair and with only going to get a trim once a year, that translated to anywhere between 4-6" taken off every year. They wanted to cut above the point that my hair started looking less healthy, and they didn't always pick the longest point that could be...

It's only quite recently (relative to how long I've been growing) that I discovered how oiling my ends makes them no longer appear fried. I've also learned that I don't always have to cut above where I think it starts looking bad for it to look much much better after the trim. I can trim just a little, less than I think I need, and it will look and feel much better. Another thing I've learned is that my hair does best with very small but frequent trims. If I could have had that done years ago, I would never have needed to dread going to get my hair cut.

I also imagine that if hairdressers understood about oiling ends and things, nobody would have chopped off ends that were frazzled just because they were dry and not split. But I could be wrong.

Only once has a hairdresser ever taken off less than I asked for, and now that I know more about hair and haircare, she may have accurately been cutting off my split ends.

meteor
March 9th, 2019, 08:10 PM
Of course, in the past I've written about my unfortunate experience of the hairdresser who had no idea how to detangle long hair. First, she got it all tangled up in the sink (oh how I hate those sinks) and then tried to brush it starting from the roots. The brush kept getting stuck a few cms down, but she just kept on ripping. My scalp was sooo sore and I was almost fainting at the sight of the hair gathering up in the bristles of the brush. Good thing I'm not quite as stoic now as I was then.

Goodness, this is like taking a trip down memory lane... I had the same experiences many times with my "rebellious" hair as they'd often refer to it, until I figured out that I can insist on *dry* cuts. Sure, stylists may oppose to that idea initially, but it's getting more common and is actually preferred for hair with all kinds of wavy/curly textures... Very often, hairdressers aren't that experienced in dealing with very long and very thick or textured hair. I recommend looking for specific specialists and recommended people and asking around for hairdressers that specialize in curly hair or long hair or going to a "long hair" salon (think, George Michael). I also like dividing the number of cm I actually want cut by 2 and giving them that number as my limit. They do tend to cut more than that, but I account for that. Of course, self-trimming is a fantastic option... and so is minimizing the number of trims, going on no-trim challenges, etc... - it all provides a buffer for some infrequent "bad" cuts.

meteor
March 9th, 2019, 08:14 PM
^ Also, now I do my own combing/brushing and I always bring my own detangling tools, because, from my experience, they don't typically carry really appropriate brushes/combs for very significant length and thickness.

Dark40
March 9th, 2019, 10:00 PM
Sorry if this has been talked about or if there’s a rant thread that I don’t know about, but it really grinds my gears when hairdressers cut your hair when you go in asking for a trim (and showing them what “just a trim” looks like.) and they cut off several inches. Or going to get your hair dyed and they try to pressure you to get a haircut or a new hair style (lob, bob, layers—whatever.) Just no.

My sister had stunning, mid back length hair, with a gorgeous balayage and yes, her hair was a bit damaged after not trimming for a year, plus the bleach/hair dye and she wanted the damaged parts cut off, and she showed her that she wanted APL hair, and yet, the hairdresser cut it off until shoulder length. It’s taken a year for her to get back to where she started. And I can’t tell you how many times hairdressers have cut off more than asked and have tried to thin it out, because they don’t want to deal with styling/washing my thick, long, black hair.

I mean, I don’t get it. Their job is dependent on their clients, so why not listen to what they want?

I also often wonder the same thing too. I had already figured it out that hairdressers just love cutting hair, and creating new hair styles. That's why I don't go to any of them. I do my own hair. Washing, styling, and trimming. Because, when I do a self-trimming I know how much I want to cut off and not cut off. I know that the way I take good care of my hair that I only need to take off 1cm every 4-6 months. Or, whenever you feel there is a need for a trim.

Longlegs
March 10th, 2019, 01:43 AM
I think for some of them cutting a straight hemline on long hair is boring. It is'nt enough of a challenge for them compared to something like cutting a inverted bob. I only let my husband cut my hair, even before I wanted to grow it long. The only time I've been to a hairdresser in about 10 years was for colour with a voucher bought as a gift. While she did'nt do a bad job I was'nt really happy, like a lot of hairdressers she sort of took over and I think she was a bit lazy to do all the colours I wanted. I had the option of 3 fashion colours and I said I would like blue and purple and was open to suggestions about the 3rd colour, and she said "well theirs blue in purple" and did the ends a reddish colour.

Natalia_A00
March 10th, 2019, 08:59 AM
Maybe because they think the costumer's ends look damaged and they cut them regardless of the client's opinion. Or because they don't listen to the customer and let their personal preferences interfere in the cut. Some people in this forum cut their own hair (or trim) but I feel that I would mess my hair up. I don't dare to do it, I think I don't have the skills. But I have found a hairdresser that actually listens to me and I love it. You have to be lucky, because a lot of them believe they know better.
Also, some clients say: "cut the ends." But they don't specify what they mean by "ends." You have to communicate with your hairdresser. If you insist a lot, the odds are you will like the result.

spidermom
March 10th, 2019, 09:52 AM
I must be good at communicating what I want because I'm 65 and have seen many hair stylists in my life. I only have 2 experiences of not getting what I wanted, and I can blame myself for both of them. My stylist now is excellent.

Here are a couple of suggestions for finding a good stylist:
1) Most salons have books that feature different hair styles. You can go in and pretend to look at the books while you're really observing the stylists. If anybody asks, you can tell them you want to do something different with your hair but you aren't sure what.
2) Book a consultation first and see how well you and the stylist communicate.
3) Spend some time online and learn the terminology. Some people think they know what they're asking for, but they use the wrong terminology.
4) Observe what the stylist is doing. I've heard horror stories when people go in with long hair, ask for a small trim across the bottom, and end up losing 8 inches and having layers. I don't know how this could happen without passing out. For example, if you want a trim at the bottom, the stylist should be combing the hair straight down. If the hair is pulled out at an angle, that means layers. Be alert and speak up.