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frostedeyes
March 7th, 2019, 09:07 PM
Iím sorry if this offends anyone, but I truly believe that long (anything longer than collarbone length could be considered long.) hair looks much, much better than a buzz cut or a pixie. This isnít me trying to be insensitive. Itís just my opinion. Iíve seen so many faces not being able to pull off short hair, or their hair texture too thick for a short haircut. Lots of women end up with poofy hair high up top. And with men, short or long hair can go either way. Some men look better with long hair, others short. I personally love men with shoulder length hair and big (not unruly, but well-shaped) beards.

i believe that long hair correlates to fertility and health. Chopping it off makes sense if itís severely damaged, so why would anyone want to advertise as having damaged locks? I know that nowadays in our society, itís very much a ďlive and let liveĒ and YOLO, but I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. Iíve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks ďcuteĒ. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because letís be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.

cjk
March 7th, 2019, 09:18 PM
Well that's a great way to introduce yourself. Hello to you too!

https://i.imgur.com/jqSyrk6.png

But I must disagree. Hair styles exist for good reason. Different face shapes can be addressed/camouflaged by different choices in hair styles and facial hair, as well.

That so many go for the "trendy" style instead of one that truly flatters them is a problem, but it doesn't automatically follow that long hair is always more flattering on all people. It's a logical fallacy.

Chromis
March 7th, 2019, 09:22 PM
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

Milkchocolate
March 7th, 2019, 09:24 PM
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

❤️ Hahah the dude abides!

BerrySara
March 7th, 2019, 09:46 PM
Just wanted to add that perception and conditioning has a lot to do with what people find beautiful. We have been influenced since a young age of what is considered beautiful, from one's parental influence of what mom may have considered beautiful, to historical, traditional and cultural influences to more modern influences of advertisement and the fashion industry.

itskate
March 7th, 2019, 09:46 PM
edit: honestly I don't really want to get involved on this thread but I don't know how to delete my comment haha

akurah
March 7th, 2019, 11:29 PM
If you have to preface it with "no offense..."

I am a big fan of letting people do what they want. I'm also a big fan of telling people where to go and how to get there when they make unwelcome comments about my hair.

And based on what you described about girlfriends at the end? If your friends are making you feel bad about your hair, maybe you need new friends.

pathetic
March 7th, 2019, 11:39 PM
What could possibly be the purpose of this thread?

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 12:03 AM
:shrug: To stir, or not to stir... :stirpot:

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 12:09 AM
What could possibly be the purpose of this thread?

The only answer I came up with is ensuring that others know you are an absolute alpha that don't give no ****e 'bout nuffin! *bangs chest*

-Fern
March 8th, 2019, 12:18 AM
https://youtu.be/A8q8PXoJwVk

Fortunately, other people aren't here to decorate your world.

Longlegs
March 8th, 2019, 01:08 AM
:shrug: To stir, or not to stir... :stirpot:
Too True.............

Lady Stardust
March 8th, 2019, 01:09 AM
Anyone for dessert pizza?

Begemot
March 8th, 2019, 02:07 AM
https://youtu.be/A8q8PXoJwVk

Fortunately, other people aren't here to decorate your world.

THANK YOU. People, you don't owe prettiness to anyone. Being as attractive as possible by today's standards is not an obligation. I honestly feel sorry for you OP that you think that way and that you are around "friends" who compete for the attention of men the way you describe (or you believe this must be how things are, not that someone could genuinely like a different/less conventionally attractive style on another person and not have some ulterior motive behind their compliment) :shake:

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 02:31 AM
https://youtu.be/A8q8PXoJwVk

Fortunately, other people aren't here to decorate your world.


THANK YOU. People, you don't owe prettiness to anyone. Being as attractive as possible by today's standards is not an obligation. I honestly feel sorry for you OP that you think that way and that you are around "friends" who compete for the attention of men the way you describe (or you believe this must be how things are, not that someone could genuinely like a different/less conventionally attractive style on another person and not have some ulterior motive behind their compliment) :shake:

Hear hear! People's opinions do not matter, and people should spend less time thinking about other people's choices and reading meaning into them. OP is fully entitled to her opinion, of course, but before pressing the reply button it might be worthwhile to pause and reflect that it's only an opinion and whether posting it will enrich anybody's thinking. Especially when it comes to aesthetic preferences, there's no single truth out there and the possibilities for any fruitful discussion are limited to say the least. Discussing the cultural history or ethnography of current and past hair styles is fascinating but I doubt whether we can learn anything new from discussions framed like the first post in this thread.

Stray_mind
March 8th, 2019, 02:37 AM
Well, this certainly isn't following the KNIT rule.

I respect your opinion, but humbly Disagree. :shrug:

Btw, long hair has Zero correlation to fertility and/or health? I won't become healthier or more fertile if i grow long hair...Or do i just not know something? :ponder:

I cut my hair short, because i Want it short. I grow my hair long, because i Want it long. That's it.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 03:08 AM
The community seems to quite unanimously think that nothing fruitful will come out of this thread. Perhaps it's better off locked? :hmm:

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 03:27 AM
I'm only here for the dessert pizza. :pizza: I need to hide behind it in case anyone gets the idea I could be their future baby mama. All that long hair... Such fertility. :bunny:

Oh, and my shrinking ovaries, AND my hubster are kinda doing this right now: :blueeek:

Aerya
March 8th, 2019, 03:28 AM
I think long hair looks better on most people too, come to think of it.

But I rarely think about it, because it doesn't matter. I think people ought to do what makes them happy, especially when it comes to superficial things like hair. If a neon green mohawk makes someone happy, then I'm all for it.

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 03:32 AM
I'm only here for the dessert pizza. :pizza: I need to hide behind it in case anyone gets the idea I could be their future baby mama. All that long hair... Such fertility. :bunny:

Oh, and my shrinking ovaries, AND my hubster are kinda doing this right now: :blueeek:

This made me laugh out loud! :D :D

Milady_DeWinter
March 8th, 2019, 04:32 AM
I'm only here for the dessert pizza. :pizza: I need to hide behind it in case anyone gets the idea I could be their future baby mama. All that long hair... Such fertility. :bunny:

Oh, and my shrinking ovaries, AND my hubster are kinda doing this right now: :blueeek:

I'm here just to enjoy the comments. And the pizza, the cheese or whatever you might bring. I have some tacos and sriracha for you all.

But oh my crystawni, I laughed so much at it :rollin:






But I rarely think about it, because it doesn't matter. I think people ought to do what makes them happy, especially when it comes to superficial things like hair. If a neon green mohawk makes someone happy, then I'm all for it.

All of it :toast:

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 04:45 AM
Oh, there's definitely cheese. :cheese: Loads of cheese. :cheese: It's very cheesy here. :gobblecheese: Cheese is at the root of all long hair, so could be considered the fertility Goddess of Goodness.

Beer. We need beer. Not w(h)ine. There's enough of that already. :beer: And beer rinses are the God of Healthy Shine, yeah?

Mmmmm. Tacos and sriracha!! Now I haz a hungry..!

Softer, Softest
March 8th, 2019, 05:18 AM
I've heard something like: "every beautiful person with short hair would look even better with long hair" (let's say all hair is healthy)

It's true in many cases (for some women I truly don't understand why at some point they become fluorescent hedgehogs). But not always at all, imho I can ONLY say more than a half cases.

Some short haired women are absolute killers in the best possible way. I don't want to sound like cliche, but I'm hetero and it happend a few times that I had a "crush" on "boyish" looking woman. (I hope I didn't say something wrong, not here to fight) I used to have a crush on a youtube musician (first time I questioned my sexuality), then forgot about it, years later I found out she changed her gender!

Another thing to consider: sometimes over the years the hair just isn't an accessory anymore, it's just not full and the texture doesn't allow having long hair haircut.

One thing that makes me smile is "Halle Berry argument", it's just funny how she evetually gets into so many shorthair/longhair debates.

Btw, I think longer hair suited Cara Delevingne.

Softer, Softest
March 8th, 2019, 05:26 AM
I also think there should be a law that every male has to try long hair (at least until ponytail lenght). :cheer:

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 05:43 AM
I also think there should be a law that every male has to try long hair (at least until ponytail lenght). :cheer:

Umm, do we absolutely need legislation that violates other people's physical integrity? Because that's what it would be.


I've heard something like: "every beautiful person with short hair would look even better with long hair" (let's say all hair is healthy)

It's true in many cases (for some women I truly don't understand why at some point they become fluorescent hedgehogs). But not always at all, imho I can ONLY say more than a half cases.

Some short haired women are absolute killers in the best possible way. I don't want to sound like cliche, but I'm hetero and it happend a few times that I had a "crush" on "boyish" looking woman. (I hope I didn't say something wrong, not here to fight) I used to have a crush on a youtube musician (first time I questioned my sexuality), then forgot about it, years later I found out she changed her gender!

Another thing to consider: sometimes over the years the hair just isn't an accessory anymore, it's just not full and the texture doesn't allow having long hair haircut.

One thing that makes me smile is "Halle Berry argument", it's just funny how she evetually gets into so many shorthair/longhair debates.

Btw, I think longer hair suited Cara Delevingne.

Isn't it wonderful that A. you don't need to understand and B. nobody needs anybody's understanding for their hair styling choices. And C. the world would be a better place if we didn't trouble ourselves with other peoples looks or their opinions on our looks.

blackgothicdoll
March 8th, 2019, 05:44 AM
It's cool to have an opinion but I feel like some 'opinions' are more like pressurized statements. Someone 'looking better' with something isn't an opinion, it's an insult to the people on the inverse of the statement. It's similar to saying 'straight/curly/wavy hair looks better on most people' or 'dark/blonde/brown hair looks better on most people'. There are plenty of people who cannot, for whatever reason and it doesn't matter, grow long hair, and thus they shouldn't be on the receiving end of back-handed comments (re: long hair looks better on most people). Or for those to choose to keep their hair short, they didn't really ask for this 'opinion' either.

I think society and beauty standards are hard enough for women without other women feeling the need to inject their unsolicited opinions. I understand that this is the Long Hair Community, and most of us are here because we like long hair, but the conversation on beauty and fertility isn't relevant. As another poster stated, not every woman has the end goal in life to be whatever shallow goal 'beautiful' consists of, or to visually please society as a mass. I think we all just want to be happy with ourselves at the end of the day - and I'm sure the men here have a similar perspective, though they can speak for themselves on their health and fertility.

Anyhow, I second:


If you have to preface it with "no offense..."

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 05:45 AM
And now I have a serious graving for cheese... I hope it will make my hair grow faster so that I would come across as beautiful and fertile because that's what we ladies want, right?

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 05:52 AM
I've just realised something and it's highly concerning.

I've asked my boyfriend if he'd like short hair on me. He hasn't expressed concern, in fact he was quite positive towards it. It almost seemed like... it didn't make a difference to him! :shocked:

Guys, does this mean he doesn't want me to be fertile?!? That he doesn't care if I'm fertile or not?? Or maybe it means he never wants to make cute babies with me?! Is it because I'm on birth control?! Guys hlap

blackgothicdoll
March 8th, 2019, 05:57 AM
I've just realised something and it's highly concerning.

I've asked my boyfriend if he'd like short hair on me. He hasn't expressed concern, in fact he was quite positive towards it. It almost seemed like... it didn't make a difference to him! :shocked:

Guys, does this mean he doesn't want me to be fertile?!? That he doesn't care if I'm fertile or not?? Or maybe it means he never wants to make cute babies with me?! Is it because I'm on birth control?! Guys hlap

Of course he cares about your fertility! Otherwise, why on earth would he be with you!? I'm sure he just didn't want to make any sudden commentary that would further influence you to cut your hair - he's treading on thin ice you know, and now that you've even brought up the topic, he's silently searching for an ankle-length replacement who is bursting with fertility.

The only way to solve this is to sit at the highest window in your home, brushing your hair and gazing distantly out of an open window until the passing stranger notices your long locks of fertility and climbs the awning to take you into his arms.

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 05:59 AM
I've just realised something and it's highly concerning.

I've asked my boyfriend if he'd like short hair on me. He hasn't expressed concern, in fact he was quite positive towards it. It almost seemed like... it didn't make a difference to him! :shocked:

Guys, does this mean he doesn't want me to be fertile?!? That he doesn't care if I'm fertile or not?? Or maybe it means he never wants to make cute babies with me?! Is it because I'm on birth control?! Guys hlap

I'd say it's all of the above. That kind of indifference is very concerning indeed. How does he seem otherwise, has his mood or spirits changed recently, has he lost interest in things that he used to enjoy? I'm just wondering whether it's only you(r hair) that he doesn't care about or is it a symptom of larger change.

(Ok, I'll stop now and go back to work. :D :D)

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 06:00 AM
Oh, no! Ylva! That is shocking. :bigeyes: :grouphug: I can only hope he's just being indifferent because he, um... is he craving cheese by any chance? Maybe he has a deaf-iciency when it comes to care factor? Feed him cheese! Your fertility and future babies depend on it!

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 06:25 AM
Now, this is a healthy dose of schmexy, don't you think?

https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/weku/files/styles/x_large/public/201303/cousin%20it.png

All. That. Hair.


And now I know why there were so many Tribbles (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribble) back in the swinging (across the tv series) sixties. Cousin Itt was just tooooooo irresistible... :smooch:

spitfire511
March 8th, 2019, 06:30 AM
Now, this is a healthy dose of schmexy, don't you think?

https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/weku/files/styles/x_large/public/201303/cousin%20it.png

All. That. Hair.


And now I know why there were so many Tribbles (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribble) back in the swinging (across the tv series) sixties. Cousin Itt was just tooooooo irresistible... :smooch:

OMG - crystawni you're killing me over here!! Cousin it was always my favorite - even in the modern movies... and tribbles!! You finally figured out why they reproduced so well - it was the hair... DUH.

spidermom
March 8th, 2019, 06:56 AM
the dude abides, indeed

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 07:11 AM
I haven't read the responses yet, but it feels like the OP is trolling us with this thread.

This post is just asking for conflict.

spitfire511
March 8th, 2019, 07:21 AM
I haven't read the responses yet, but it feels like the OP is trolling us with this thread.

This post is just asking for conflict.

Agreed nycelle I think that's the funny part - seems that mostly everyone turned it into a 'cheese' thread. cheese, beer, cousin it, and fertility jokes. I love LHC.

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 07:31 AM
Agreed nycelle I think that's the funny part - seems that mostly everyone turned it into a 'cheese' thread. cheese, beer, cousin it, and fertility jokes. I love LHC.

*rolls back the time machine, to when coifs were big and so were the shoulder pads*

*cues Huey Lewis and the News*

That's the power of hair! :henny: :disco: :cheese:

:silly:

neko_kawaii
March 8th, 2019, 08:07 AM
*rolls back the time machine, to when coifs were big and so were the shoulder pads*

*cues Huey Lewis and the News*

That's the power of hair! :henny: :disco: :cheese:

:silly:

McFly !

Lady Stardust
March 8th, 2019, 08:10 AM
*rolls back the time machine, to when coifs were big and so were the shoulder pads*

*cues Huey Lewis and the News*

That's the power of hair! :henny: :disco: :cheese:

:silly:

Michael J Fox on a skateboard....those were the days :)

pathetic
March 8th, 2019, 08:27 AM
OP is new - maybe she just doesnít ďget itĒ yet. (Or maybe she never will.) It sounds like sheís coming from a place where she believes her opinion is in the minority and it seems to have made her quite defensive about long hair. My message to OP (if she ever returns): no one cares about what you think they should look like. Just like you shouldnít care about what your friends think about your appearance. Follow the beat of your own drum, yada yada.

So then, was Whitesnake the healthiest and most fertile band of the eighties or what? :henny:

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 09:29 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isn’t better? That long hair doesn’t make you feel good? That you all aren’t attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed off—none of you will be upset?

It’s kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

Blaithin
March 8th, 2019, 09:32 AM
I think what everyone is saying is, that despite loving long hair for ourselves, we'd never presume to tell people how they should have their hair or insult their choice.

neko_kawaii
March 8th, 2019, 09:34 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isn’t better? That long hair doesn’t make you feel good? That you all aren’t attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed off—none of you will be upset?

It’s kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

I think what you may be overlooking is that we as a community don't think that our variable attachment to our hair is universal. We encourage people to enjoy their hair and acknowledge that not everyone enjoys their own hair long. Enjoyment means something different for each person. Some, like yourself, may focus on what they think looks best on them, and they may love their hair short. Some may focus on what is easiest for them to care for, and for some that may be short hair.

Personally, I love a pixie (or buzz) on myself. I'm just too lazy to maintain it. For me, relaxing and enjoying my hair means long, but I adore short both on myself and others.

Estrid
March 8th, 2019, 09:40 AM
If you are looking for a community to share a feeling of superiority for having long hair, you've come to the wrong place.

It is alright to prefer long hair, I think most of us do since we're here after all, but trying to start some sort of "we're better than them"-movement is a bit out there.

Chromis
March 8th, 2019, 09:40 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isn’t better? That long hair doesn’t make you feel good? That you all aren’t attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed off—none of you will be upset?

It’s kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

I think you have missed what the culture of this place is about.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAVVy_x3Erg

MusicalSpoons
March 8th, 2019, 09:43 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isnít better? That long hair doesnít make you feel good? That you all arenít attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed offónone of you will be upset?

Itís kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

Um, as a community we members generally do love long, healthy hair and for many of us it is preferable to dry, frazzled, overly-processed hair. And yes, lots of us are somewhat emotionally attached to our own hair. But those are our own opinions and we don't sweepingly say 'long hair is better for everybody' because a) that's not for any of us to say and b) it's blatantly not true. Actually there are many people who genuinely like having shorter hair - even some of our members are currently at shorter lengths after having had very long hair, because they wanted to :shrug:

Also bringing fertility and whathaveyou into it will never go down well - I see kind of why you say that (healthy body = surplus nutrients to grow lots of healthy hair) but it's an astonishingly old-fashioned standard to be holding people to, again not entirely true, and also absolutely none of anybody's business how fertile another person might be, with a couple of obvious exceptions (likely potential parenting partner, and doctor). I can tell you, there are not many here who would be even remotely pleased if someone courted them for their fertility potential rather than their personality!!

Btw up until this page I really thought this was going to be another epic thread :hollie:

Edit: I took so long typing my response a load of others popped up first. But THIS:

I think what everyone is saying is, that despite loving long hair for ourselves, we'd never presume to tell people how they should have their hair or insult their choice.

akurah
March 8th, 2019, 09:45 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isnít better? That long hair doesnít make you feel good? That you all arenít attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed offónone of you will be upset?

Itís kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

That is because long hair isn't better. The analogy I'm about to make isn't perfect, but let's say we were a community about having cats for pets, and you came here and seriously and genuinely said that all dog owners were idiots and shouldn't be allowed to own dogs because dogs were ugly.

It's also not ironic to defend bodily autonomy for yourself very fiercely (ex, not getting it cut not going to hairdresser, etc) and also defend bodily autonomy for the other side. All we're saying here is that people should do what they want, if it causes no harm its none of your business, and it's rude to make snide comments.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 09:53 AM
I understand what you all are saying, and I agree with some of the statements made. Would it have been better had I said, “I prefer most people with long hair?” Because in the end, I did say that it was my opinion. Maybe I didn’t word the thread appropriately. I’ve seen my opinion on here but I guess no one makes threads about it.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 09:56 AM
Of course he cares about your fertility! Otherwise, why on earth would he be with you!? I'm sure he just didn't want to make any sudden commentary that would further influence you to cut your hair - he's treading on thin ice you know, and now that you've even brought up the topic, he's silently searching for an ankle-length replacement who is bursting with fertility.

The only way to solve this is to sit at the highest window in your home, brushing your hair and gazing distantly out of an open window until the passing stranger notices your long locks of fertility and climbs the awning to take you into his arms.

I'd say it's all of the above. That kind of indifference is very concerning indeed. How does he seem otherwise, has his mood or spirits changed recently, has he lost interest in things that he used to enjoy? I'm just wondering whether it's only you(r hair) that he doesn't care about or is it a symptom of larger change.

(Ok, I'll stop now and go back to work. :D :D)

Oh, no! Ylva! That is shocking. :bigeyes: :grouphug: I can only hope he's just being indifferent because he, um... is he craving cheese by any chance? Maybe he has a deaf-iciency when it comes to care factor? Feed him cheese! Your fertility and future babies depend on it!

Oh man, I think I'm done for. Better break up with him right now to save myself the heartache later when he inevitably realises my infertility, especially since I am chopping off a quarter of an ovary later this month.

Crystawni, thank you for the tip! I will feed him some brown cheese right away. Brunost is like the superman of cheese. I recommend! :cheese:

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 10:08 AM
I understand what you all are saying, and I agree with some of the statements made. Would it have been better had I said, “I prefer most people with long hair?” Because in the end, I did say that it was my opinion. Maybe I didn’t word the thread appropriately. I’ve seen my opinion on here but I guess no one makes threads about it.

I still think you're missing point. Preferring long hair doesn't correlate to fertility or health. So stating such is insulting to people who have short hair, as it implies the women are infertile and/or sick which isn't true.
This is where the disconnect is for me, and what I find most offensive about your post.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:11 AM
I think the fertility factor would relate more to the quality of the hair rather than the length of it, which is what we stand for here at the LHC. We like healthy hair! Still, it's a completely unnecessary connection to make, especially in the context of pleasing men (or women).

The-Young-Maid
March 8th, 2019, 10:15 AM
We very recently had a thread with this same undertone... and as a community we decided that LHC is a place to talk about every kind/style of hair. Everyone is free to do whatever they want with their hair. Hair length doesn't make someone a superior being or more attractive (eye of the beholder n whatnot). There are threads on here where you can state your preferences but even those are very "to each his own" vibe, I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate a post like yours either.

It's perfectly fine to have an opinion and to share it, but think about how your words may be interpreted by others first.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:15 AM
@nycelle
Studies have shown that being able to grow out hair requires protein, fats, and to generally not be in a state of malnourishment.
There is nothing offensive about this. Being able to grow out hair is for people who nourish themselves. People who have lost hair due to eating disorders, malnutrition, disease, canít grow out hair.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:21 AM
@nycelle
Studies have shown that being able to grow out hair requires protein, fats, and to generally not be in a state of malnourishment.
There is nothing offensive about this. Being able to grow out hair is for people who nourish themselves. People who have lost hair due to eating disorders, malnutrition, disease, can’t grow out hair.

Yes, but what is it you want to achieve with this thread? What purpose does it serve that you share this opinion of yours in a whole new thread, or at all? I have a lot of hair-related opinions but I choose not to share them here because they offer no value to anyone but myself.

The-Young-Maid
March 8th, 2019, 10:21 AM
Well actually I did manage to grow out my hair despite my eating disorder. Nobody looked at my hair and assumed I was unhealthy. It's an illness that is easy to hide when you want to. LHC is the only place I've talked about my illness, but if people feel like you do then maybe I shouldn't. They might tell me I don't DESERVE long hair.

Don't worry I'm currently nourishing myself with lots of cheese.:cheese:

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:21 AM
We very recently had a thread with this same undertone... and as a community we decided that LHC is a place to talk about every kind/style of hair. Everyone is free to do whatever they want with their hair. Hair length doesn't make someone a superior being or more attractive (eye of the beholder n whatnot). There are threads on here where you can state your preferences but even those are very "to each his own" vibe, I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate a post like yours either.

It's perfectly fine to have an opinion and to share it, but think about how your words may be interpreted by others first.

Understable. I’m a Reddit user, where people talk unapologetically about their opinions without taking offense, and I think that’s where my overall tone came from. I forget that some forums aren’t like that.

neko_kawaii
March 8th, 2019, 10:22 AM
My aunt does not have any eating disorders, she does however have hair that does not grow past her shoulders despite exemplary health, care, and effort. Genetics are a bit more complicated than you assume.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:23 AM
What does “cheese” mean in this context?

I guess eating disorders affect people differently—my hair thinned out A LOT during mine and would fall out like crazy.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:25 AM
Yes, but what is it you want to achieve with this thread? What purpose does it serve that you share this opinion of yours in a whole new thread, or at all? I have a lot of hair-related opinions but I choose not to share them here because they offer no value to anyone but myself.

I was just replying to her post.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:26 AM
What does “cheese” mean in this context?

It means cheese.


I was just replying to her post.

Yes, but I was asking you about this thread that you created.

Sparkles122
March 8th, 2019, 10:26 AM
Well actually I did manage to grow out my hair despite my eating disorder. Nobody looked at my hair and assumed I was unhealthy. It's an illness that is easy to hide when you want to. LHC is the only place I've talked about my illness, but if people feel like you do then maybe I shouldn't. They might tell me I don't DESERVE long hair.

Don't worry I'm currently nourishing myself with lots of cheese.:cheese:

:cheese::cheese::cheese:

I too grew my hair to hip, and now looking back at it, it may really have been BCL, all while I was underweight and most likely malnourished, but like you said, wasnt completely obvious to others

SurprisingWoman
March 8th, 2019, 10:26 AM
What does “cheese” mean in this context?

I guess eating disorders affect people differently—my hair thinned out A LOT during mine and would fall out like crazy.

You need to read more and talk less. If you don't know cheese, you don't know LHC.

The-Young-Maid
March 8th, 2019, 10:27 AM
So people with long thick hair could actually be unhealthy?! Wow it's almost like you can't really tell the health of a person by looking at their hair.:cool: Like everyone is different or something.

*Wednesday*
March 8th, 2019, 10:29 AM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isn’t better? That long hair doesn’t make you feel good? That you all aren’t attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed off—none of you will be upset?

It’s kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

We are not biotches. We believe to each their own. If you want long hair, hang out here. This is childish... Long vs. Pixie.

akurah
March 8th, 2019, 10:32 AM
So people with long thick hair could actually be unhealthy?! Wow it's almost like you can't really tell the health of a person by looking at their hair.:cool: Like everyone is different or something.

Meh. I have long thick hair (with periodic bald patches that aren't obvious because the rest of the hair hides it) but I'm far from healthy overall. So you're right, you can't tell the health of the person by the apparent health of the hair

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:32 AM
It means cheese.



Yes, but I was asking you about this thread that you created.

Look, I donít need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. Iím new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and Iím used to a certain tone?

pathetic
March 8th, 2019, 10:34 AM
Well you certainly are presenting yourself in an unfortunate way.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:34 AM
Look, I don’t need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. I’m new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and I’m used to a certain tone?

I read it. I'm not interrogating you, but genuinely interested in what you wanted to achieve with the thread.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:34 AM
You need to read more and talk less. If you don't know cheese, you don't know LHC.

I’m new here.

TatsuOni
March 8th, 2019, 10:35 AM
Mixed feelings about this thread, but happy that LHC always can make me laugh :p And now I'm confused! How can my hair be long when I'm on the pill!? :bigeyes:


I just have to say something about the fertility part though. I'm a woman with long hair and I do not wish for my hair, hips or anything else to be associated with fertility. I don't want children. I'd love to not be fertile at all. I don't like comments like that in general and I'm sure there's more people who feel the same way.

The-Young-Maid
March 8th, 2019, 10:37 AM
Look, I don’t need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. I’m new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and I’m used to a certain tone?

Did you not read anything else on this forum? You really just went and posted an opinion piece before IDK maybe searching for similar threads? If you had you'd realize how poorly these are received. Don't get offended now, you come from Reddit and I hear they don't get offended too easily there.:cheese:

TBH I thought you were a troll for a sec lol

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:37 AM
I read it. I'm not interrogating you, but genuinely interested in what you wanted to achieve with the thread.

I read it as interrogation. Some people corrected me, because I’m new, but they didn’t question my intentions or whatnot.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:39 AM
Did you not read anything else on this forum? You really just went and posted an opinion piece before IDK maybe searching for similar threads? If you had you'd realize how poorly these are received. Don't get offended now, you come from Reddit and I hear they don't get offended too easily there.:cheese:

TBH I thought you were a troll for a sec lol

Touchť. :cheese:

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:39 AM
Did you not read anything else on this forum? You really just went and posted an opinion piece before IDK maybe searching for similar threads? If you had you'd realize how poorly these are received. Don't get offended now, you come from Reddit and I hear they don't get offended too easily there.:cheese:

TBH I thought you were a troll for a sec lol

I haven’t searched for threads like this. But I have seen people with my opinion, and literally, have read what other people have written. Yet, no one jumps down their throat.

blackgothicdoll
March 8th, 2019, 10:39 AM
Mixed feelings about this thread, but happy that LHC always can make me laugh :p And now I'm confused! How can my hair be long when I'm on the pill!? :bigeyes:


I just have to say something about the fertility part though. I'm a woman with long hair and I do not wish for my hair, hips or anything else to be associated with fertility. I don't want children. I'd love to not be fertile at all. I don't like comments like that in general and I'm sure there's more people who feel the same way.

To me, being a woman is more than being fertile and has been for hundreds of years. It's backwards thinking to associate a woman's beauty or worth with fertility, in this day and age. There's far more we contribute to society than the ability to bear children - not to make light of that, but to say that we are not only that.

Not to digress though but no Tatsu, you're not alone.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:43 AM
I’d like to have this thread deleted/closed.

EdG
March 8th, 2019, 10:44 AM
Since we are posting videos, here is my favorite television commercial featuring long hair (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ5Tztr_fbI).

A bank teller offers free checking to a balding man. The man daydreams freedom as driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible, blasting a Twisted Sister song, and growing longer hair by the second. :rockerdud

I love this commercial. :cheese:
Ed

TatsuOni
March 8th, 2019, 10:45 AM
To me, being a woman is more than being fertile and has been for hundreds of years. It's backwards thinking to associate a woman's beauty or worth with fertility, in this day and age. There's far more we contribute to society than the ability to bear children - not to make light of that, but to say that we are not only that.

Not to digress though but no Tatsu, you're not alone.

I'll also add that a woman's fertility and wish to bear or not to bear children really is up to her and her partner. And that's one more reason that I don't like these types of fertility comments that I saw in OP.

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 10:47 AM
Generally, the visual cues for people with eating disorders, or those who are malnourished isn't hair. It's the weight, teeth, sometimes skin tone changes. Hair would be last, if at all.

Millions of healthy women have thinner, shorter hair, just as millions of women who are not as healthy have longer hair.

You made a blanket statement equating long hair to fertility and health and I disagree.

But, I don't know where you're from, so maybe in your culture that's how it's seen. In my culture though, that's a very faaaaaaaaaaaar stretch.

Chromis
March 8th, 2019, 10:47 AM
Look, I donít need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. Iím new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and Iím used to a certain tone?

Not everyone here has been on Reddit. The vibe is pretty different! Actually, not all of Reddit is like that either....

I always recommend reading around a while before you leap in. If this were any of the Reddit subs I am in you'd have been promptly asked if you had read the sidebar and the FAQs and done a search because people post that topic alllllll the time. (I am not in any for hair, so I've no idea if that would true for hair things, but it would in any of the others I personally hang out in - plus you'd have been told to put it in the daily thread or wait until the correct day of the week to put it in the weekly rant thread :laugh: )

pathetic
March 8th, 2019, 10:50 AM
Since we are posting videos, here is my favorite television commercial featuring long hair (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ5Tztr_fbI).

A bank teller offers free checking to a balding man. The man daydreams freedom as driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible, blasting a Twisted Sister song, and growing longer hair by the second. :rockerdud

I love this commercial. :cheese:
Ed

Gotta love the comments on that vid...lmao! But his hair was definitely majestic.

Ylva
March 8th, 2019, 10:50 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AJZMo6FB9k

Our goddess of fertility! :bowtome:

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:51 AM
Not everyone here has been on Reddit. The vibe is pretty different! Actually, not all of Reddit is like that either....

I always recommend reading around a while before you leap in. If this were any of the Reddit subs I am in you'd have been promptly asked if you had read the sidebar and the FAQs and done a search because people post that topic alllllll the time. (I am not in any for hair, so I've no idea if that would true for hair things, but it would in any of the others I personally hang out in - plus you'd have been told to put it in the daily thread or wait until the correct day of the week to put it in the weekly rant thread :laugh: )

True! Reddit is so different.

Ok, will read around more before creating threads. Are there any rant threads on LHC?

Lizabeth94
March 8th, 2019, 10:54 AM
I’m pretty sure I read something that men who are balding tend to have higher sperm counts, and so actually a lack of hair is a sign of exceptional fertility in men? Although I can see your point that hairloss can be caused by health problems like malnutrition or deficiencies, or medications, hair isn’t always an indicator of health. I was extremely sick throughout most of my teens, but for the most part I had very thick healthy looking hair.
Also short hair does look better on some people. My best friend had a pixie and looks stunning, whenever I see pictures of her with long hair I cringe, it’s just not “her.” I have a pixie currently, and although I don’t like it, other people certainly do, I get tons of compliments all the time. When I had long hair nobody ever complimented it, not even my family. :shrug:

cjk
March 8th, 2019, 10:56 AM
Look, I don’t need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. I’m new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and I’m used to a certain tone?

With the exception of asking for clarification, no one has asked you much of anything. Wasn't much of an interrogation.

You're self-important, opinionated, and unable to justify or even stand by your opinions; in fact you seemingly have difficulty structuring your thoughts and communicating them clearly. Let me guess, college student?

You expected to swoop in, make some grand proclamation, wow us all with your insight, and get upvotes or likes.

Sorry sister, that didn't happen.

But I do have to end this on an up note. You have good taste. You mentioned liking men with shoulder-length hair and big beards. You can't be all bad.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 10:59 AM
I’m pretty sure I read something that men who are balding tend to have higher sperm counts, and so actually a lack of hair is a sign of exceptional fertility in men? Although I can see your point that hairloss can be caused by health problems like malnutrition or deficiencies, or medications, hair isn’t always an indicator of health. I was extremely sick throughout most of my teens, but for the most part I had very thick healthy looking hair.
Also short hair does look better on some people. My best friend had a pixie and looks stunning, whenever I see pictures of her with long hair I cringe, it’s just not “her.” I have a pixie currently, and although I don’t like it, other people certainly do, I get tons of compliments all the time. When I had long hair nobody ever complimented it, not even my family. :shrug:

That’s so interesting about balding men having higher sperm counts! Never knew that. I guess my husband’s balding spot is good for him :D:D

I respect your viewpoint. I guess some people have a certain “look” (think Halle Barry) that makes short hair suit them.

The-Young-Maid
March 8th, 2019, 10:59 AM
With the exception of asking for clarification, no one has asked you much of anything. Wasn't much of an interrogation.

You're self-important, opinionated, and unable to justify or even stand by your opinions; in fact you seemingly have difficulty structuring your thoughts and communicating them clearly. Let me guess, college student?

You expected to swoop in, make some grand proclamation, wow us all with your insight, and get upvotes or likes.

Sorry sister, that didn't happen.

But I do have to end this on an up note. You have good taste. You mentioned liking men with shoulder-length hair and big beards. You can't be all bad.

How about you chill with that college student remark. That was incredibly rude.

EdG
March 8th, 2019, 11:00 AM
Gotta love the comments on that vid...lmao! But his hair was definitely majestic.I did not read the comments. :shudder:

I like the commercial's message that freedom equals long hair. :)

Somewhat ironically, Washington Mutual collapsed during the 2008 financial crisis.
Ed

littlestarface
March 8th, 2019, 11:05 AM
Cool another witch hunt :bounce:

*Wednesday*
March 8th, 2019, 11:07 AM
Thatís so interesting about balding men having higher sperm counts! Never knew that. I guess my husbandís balding spot is good for him :D:D

I respect your viewpoint. I guess some people have a certain ďlookĒ (think Halle Barry) that makes short hair suit them.

Or Charlez Thereon. ☺ she's great pixie.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 11:09 AM
Or Charlez Thereon. ☺ she's great pixie.

She does! Her bone structure is striking with short hair.

gustavonut
March 8th, 2019, 11:32 AM
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

This lol. I literally just watched that movie with my boyfriend recently :p

Eireann
March 8th, 2019, 01:10 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Some people who are IMO generically pretty with longer hair look stunning with a pixie cut. I'm thinking Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder and, yes, Halle Berry. I think Jamie Lee Curtis looks better with a pixie than with the more grown out look she had at the Oscars (but I guess she doesn't count because she's probably not fertile. . .eye roll). I had a pixie cut when I was much younger, and it never interfered with my, uh, social agenda.

Anyway, shame on me for feeding the troll.

neko_kawaii
March 8th, 2019, 01:20 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Some people who are IMO generically pretty with longer hair look stunning with a pixie cut. I'm thinking Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder and, yes, Halle Berry.

So, pretty people are pretty regardless of hair style?

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 01:21 PM
Another two that look awesome with short hair are Pink and Rihanna.

frostedeyes
March 8th, 2019, 01:42 PM
Another two that look awesome with short hair are Pink and Rihanna.

Yes! Pink in particular would look strange with long hair. I can’t imagine her with long hair at all.

Eireann
March 8th, 2019, 01:49 PM
So, pretty people are pretty regardless of hair style?

Yes! But I guess what I was getting at is that some people, who are pretty with any hair style, look even more stunning with short hair because you can see their gorgeous features. So, in response to the OP, I guess I would say that if your hair is your best feature, then rock it. If not, then play up what works for you.

Softer, Softest
March 8th, 2019, 01:52 PM
Umm, do we absolutely need legislation that violates other people's physical integrity? Because that's what it would be.



Isn't it wonderful that A. you don't need to understand and B. nobody needs anybody's understanding for their hair styling choices. And C. the world would be a better place if we didn't trouble ourselves with other peoples looks or their opinions on our looks.

The law thing was obviously a joke. Some might be a perfect fit and won't ever know it.

Chromis
March 8th, 2019, 01:56 PM
Yes! But I guess what I was getting at is that some people, who are pretty with any hair style, look even more stunning with short hair because you can see their gorgeous features. So, in response to the OP, I guess I would say that if your hair is your best feature, then rock it. If not, then play up what works for you.

I find a dramatic updo only enhances my own features. You can wear long hair more ways than just down!

I would not say my hair is my very best feature, but that is not why I grow it.

Wendyclaire
March 8th, 2019, 02:03 PM
Iím sorry if this offends anyone, but I truly believe that long (anything longer than collarbone length could be considered long.) hair looks much, much better than a buzz cut or a pixie. This isnít me trying to be insensitive. Itís just my opinion. Iíve seen so many faces not being able to pull off short hair, or their hair texture too thick for a short haircut. Lots of women end up with poofy hair high up top. And with men, short or long hair can go either way. Some men look better with long hair, others short. I personally love men with shoulder length hair and big (not unruly, but well-shaped) beards.

i believe that long hair correlates to fertility and health. Chopping it off makes sense if itís severely damaged, so why would anyone want to advertise as having damaged locks? I know that nowadays in our society, itís very much a ďlive and let liveĒ and YOLO, but I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. Iíve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks ďcuteĒ. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because letís be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.
Well I happen to agree with you, especially in older women. I am one so I feel like I have a valid opinion. We kinda get a lot of flack if we donít conform to the fuzzy short old lady look. Why canít yíall just disagree without the mean comments? Donít feel bad, I got the same bs when I posted something. Instead of a long hair forum, this is more like a mean girl club!!

akurah
March 8th, 2019, 02:09 PM
Well I happen to agree with you, especially in older women. I am one so I feel like I have a valid opinion. We kinda get a lot of flack if we don’t conform to the fuzzy short old lady look. Why can’t y’all just disagree without the mean comments? Don’t feel bad, I got the same bs when I posted something. Instead of a long hair forum, this is more like a mean girl club!!

I have a lot of opinions myself, and some of them are possibly easily as controversial as this one. I just have the wherewithal to keep it to myself. There is a saying about opinions being like....

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 02:11 PM
Well I happen to agree with you, especially in older women. I am one so I feel like I have a valid opinion. We kinda get a lot of flack if we don’t conform to the fuzzy short old lady look. Why can’t y’all just disagree without the mean comments? Don’t feel bad, I got the same bs when I posted something. Instead of a long hair forum, this is more like a mean girl club!!

what the... :rolleyes:

Aerya
March 8th, 2019, 02:23 PM
Well I happen to agree with you, especially in older women. I am one so I feel like I have a valid opinion. We kinda get a lot of flack if we donít conform to the fuzzy short old lady look. Why canít yíall just disagree without the mean comments? Donít feel bad, I got the same bs when I posted something. Instead of a long hair forum, this is more like a mean girl club!!

Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.

(Sorry, I had to.)

Wendyclaire
March 8th, 2019, 02:25 PM
I have a lot of opinions myself, and some of them are possibly easily as controversial as this one. I just have the wherewithal to keep it to myself. There is a saying about opinions being like....
What was so controversial about the comments? You donít have to answer but itís all about hair and opinions are just that and should be respected and disagreed with in an appropriate manner. This is supposed to be about long hair isnít it?

lapushka
March 8th, 2019, 02:29 PM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isnít better? That long hair doesnít make you feel good? That you all arenít attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed offónone of you will be upset?

Itís kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

There are also "shorties" on this forum, if you took a chance to get to know it first before you made such a "dangerous" statement. These are people with pixies and bobs that are still in the first stages of growing out.

Or, they are people who want to keep it short after a while of having had it to knee even.

So you can't just generalize.

You see people that have been on this forum for *years* here and who have had all kinds of lengths.

So I'd be careful with what you are trying to express.

Just my 2cts. :flower:

nycelle
March 8th, 2019, 02:32 PM
What was so controversial about the comments? You don’t have to answer but it’s all about hair and opinions are just that and should be respected and disagreed with in an appropriate manner. This is supposed to be about long hair isn’t it?

She equated health and fertility with long hair. That means that women with short hair are infertile and sick, that's how it reads. How is that appropriate?

The only "mean girl" comment here was the original post. I think *most* here handled it with humor, as opposed to ripping the OP apart.

tekla
March 8th, 2019, 02:36 PM
The law thing was obviously a joke. Some might be a perfect fit and won't ever know it.

And equally obviously I know you meant it as a joke. However, and I cannot highlight this enough, at this very moment in many cultures men and women (not to mention people who don't fit into this binary) cannot choose freely how to wear their hair, how to dress etc. without being somehow punished, whether formally or informally by their community. This is why I don't find these jokes amusing, especially not in a thread like this.

Ligeia Noire
March 8th, 2019, 02:46 PM
Can I just add that, it is a bit amusing how most of the drama on this forum revolves around long hair statements like this. Someone prefers long hair over short hair... Someone prefers thick hair over thin hair.... and boom apocalypse... I wonder if in short hair forums someone preferring long hair gets this much much fun...

Suortuva
March 8th, 2019, 03:11 PM
I just have to say something about the fertility part though. I'm a woman with long hair and I do not wish for my hair, hips or anything else to be associated with fertility. I don't want children.I'd love to not be fertile at all. I don't like comments like that in general and I'm sure there's more people who feel the same way.

Hmm, if it was possible to use hair cut as a birth control method, I think I would go bald in a heart beat, for me it would be worth it... So happy I can keep growing.

MusicalSpoons
March 8th, 2019, 03:36 PM
Hmm, if it was possible to use hair cut as a birth control method, I think I would go bald in a heart beat, for me it would be worth it... So happy I can keep growing.

According to her initial post, the OP seems to think it partially works like that, because you'd be making yourself look infertile and therefore unattractive (which is just insanely insulting to so many people on so many levels, I can't even work out where to start :shake:) I don't know whether to :rollin: or :wail: :shrug:


*ahem*

:cheese: or :cookie: anyone? :p

littlestarface
March 8th, 2019, 03:44 PM
Long haired people are grumpy frumpy folk. Wow 11 pages!! I mean 12 pages cool. I will the say this, if you aint pretty long or short hair aint gonna change that.

MusicalSpoons
March 8th, 2019, 03:49 PM
Long haired people are grumpy frumpy folk. Wow 11 pages!! I mean 12 pages cool. I will the say this, if you aint pretty long or short hair aint gonna change that.

:rollin: so true!! I count myself as one of those people so I can't really afford to care too much about style (or lack thereof) :laugh: Long hair makes me happy, so long hair I shall have.

(Well, I was kinda cute when I had short hair ... but most toddlers are cute at least sometimes, right? :p)

Edit 2: Sorry I didn't realise this had been quoted before the original edit for clarification :oops: :flower:

littlestarface
March 8th, 2019, 03:52 PM
:rollin: so true!! I count myself as one of those people so I can't really afford to care too much :laugh:

(Well, I was kinda cute when I had short hair ... but most toddlers are cute at least sometimes, right? :p)

Same :rollin: :wail:

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 05:08 PM
I be stumped. How did I have three kids? :ponder: I met my future-hubster in the late 80s, with hair suitably fried from perms and highlights, and chopped to an inch of its dead life... I just... Hubster shouldn't have even looked at me. :shake: I was damaged. I didn't even like cheese that much back then. Oh dear. And what about my kids who were dating during the scene hair phase? Choppy, choppy, heat-straight, dyed... fried. How on earth did I become a grandma of five (so far)? Am I more fertile and healthy as a longhair in my 50s than I was as a fried-head in my 20s? :confused: Really, how did the earth evah get populated with all the pixies and bobs out there (and that's not even taking into account families struggling with famine in, let's say, Africa, where tightly cropped hair is more the norm)? It's a miracle! Or cheesy pizza. :pizza:

spidermom
March 8th, 2019, 05:53 PM
So what you all are saying, as a community dedicated to having long hair, is that long hair isnít better? That long hair doesnít make you feel good? That you all arenít attached to your hair and that if you cut your hair into a bob, a pixie, or get it buzzed offónone of you will be upset?

Itís kind of ironic coming from a community dedicated to having long, healthy hair and refuse to get anything beyond 3-5 inches cut and largely avoid hairdressers for that reason.

Yep, I can honestly say that I do not believe long hair is better. I've seen people go from long hair to short hair and liked the short style better. I think what looks best on each person is an individual thing.

For myself, I've grown my hair out to my thighs, cut it all the way back to collarbone length, loved it for 2 years, and have now decided to grow it out to at least waist length. After that, I don't know. Like the creator, I love wondrous variety!

littlestarface
March 8th, 2019, 05:57 PM
I be stumped. How did I have three kids? :ponder: I met my future-hubster in the late 80s, with hair suitably fried from perms and highlights, and chopped to an inch of its dead life... I just... Hubster shouldn't have even looked at me. :shake: I was damaged. I didn't even like cheese that much back then. Oh dear. And what about my kids who were dating during the scene hair phase? Choppy, choppy, heat-straight, dyed... fried. How on earth did I become a grandma of five (so far)? Am I more fertile and healthy as a longhair in my 50s than I was as a fried-head in my 20s? :confused: Really, how did the earth evah get populated with all the pixies and bobs out there (and that's not even taking into account families struggling with famine in, let's say, Africa, where tightly cropped hair is more the norm)? It's a miracle! Or cheesy pizza. :pizza:

Trust me is the cheese pizza, extra sauce please and extra cheese, ohhh and hot wings ooh and potatoe wedges tooo and some ranch.

bokeh
March 8th, 2019, 07:16 PM
Iím sorry if this offends anyone, but I truly believe that long (anything longer than collarbone length could be considered long.) hair looks much, much better than a buzz cut or a pixie. This isnít me trying to be insensitive. Itís just my opinion. Iíve seen so many faces not being able to pull off short hair, or their hair texture too thick for a short haircut. Lots of women end up with poofy hair high up top. And with men, short or long hair can go either way. Some men look better with long hair, others short. I personally love men with shoulder length hair and big (not unruly, but well-shaped) beards.

i believe that long hair correlates to fertility and health. Chopping it off makes sense if itís severely damaged, so why would anyone want to advertise as having damaged locks? I know that nowadays in our society, itís very much a ďlive and let liveĒ and YOLO, but I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. Iíve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks ďcuteĒ. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because letís be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.

frostedeyes I don't believe that you intended to offend. I think one of the most important ideas here at the LHC is that we support one another in our individual hair journeys wherever those journeys may lead us. Many people, myself included, have been empowered by the support here to finally go our own way in our decisions about our hair rather than trying to please others. Whether it is an older woman wearing her hair long and grey, a curly haired woman finally letting her curls free or maybe a man experimenting with hairstyles many of us are bucking cultural trends and the opinions of family, friends and total strangers. We're tired of "opinions" that seem meant to manipulate our personal decisions. Of course you offended every woman who wears her hair short and at the same time you offended members here who value the idea that everyone should be able to wear their hair as they see fit and who believe that as a community we should all support them in that. You got some very good advice to do some more reading here so that you can understand the LHC better. I know that over time I have become less judgmental and more accepting of others in all sorts of ways. We are all a work in progress. I hope to continue to see you posting here and that you learn a lot on your hair journey. I also have thick, coarse hair and there are very few of us here, lol, so welcome and please stick around!

Crystawni
March 8th, 2019, 07:34 PM
What does “cheese” mean in this context?

I guess eating disorders affect people differently—my hair thinned out A LOT during mine and would fall out like crazy.

Check out this cheesy thread (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=68777).


And yeah, I've got too much experience and enjoyment of all hair lengths, styles, textures, colours, and all that on myself and others (I've been cutting hair for over 35 years) so when it really comes to this subject, :cheese:. I'm longhaired now, but not boxed in enough to think that's all I want or strive for. I like change, and embrace it, even when it's suddenly thrust upon me. Life's like that. You'll never know what may grow on you. :p


littlestarface, you know how to make my tummy rumble!! :yumm:

languagenut
March 8th, 2019, 10:16 PM
Lol, when I saw the thread had 12 pages, I knew there'd be cheese :cheese:, so I figured I'd pop in :gobblecheese:


Now, this is a healthy dose of schmexy, don't you think?

https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/weku/files/styles/x_large/public/201303/cousin%20it.png

All. That. Hair.


And now I know why there were so many Tribbles (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribble) back in the swinging (across the tv series) sixties. Cousin Itt was just tooooooo irresistible... :smooch:


OMG - crystawni you're killing me over here!! Cousin it was always my favorite - even in the modern movies... and tribbles!! You finally figured out why they reproduced so well - it was the hair... DUH.

As I always say, "yIH 'IH jIH!" -- I am a beautiful tribble! :p (starts imagining tribbles in a cargo hold full of cheese...)

Ylva
March 9th, 2019, 12:25 AM
frostedeyes I don't believe that you intended to offend. I think one of the most important ideas here at the LHC is that we support one another in our individual hair journeys wherever those journeys may lead us. Many people, myself included, have been empowered by the support here to finally go our own way in our decisions about our hair rather than trying to please others. Whether it is an older woman wearing her hair long and grey, a curly haired woman finally letting her curls free or maybe a man experimenting with hairstyles many of us are bucking cultural trends and the opinions of family, friends and total strangers. We're tired of "opinions" that seem meant to manipulate our personal decisions. Of course you offended every woman who wears her hair short and at the same time you offended members here who value the idea that everyone should be able to wear their hair as they see fit and who believe that as a community we should all support them in that. You got some very good advice to do some more reading here so that you can understand the LHC better. I know that over time I have become less judgmental and more accepting of others in all sorts of ways. We are all a work in progress. I hope to continue to see you posting here and that you learn a lot on your hair journey. I also have thick, coarse hair and there are very few of us here, lol, so welcome and please stick around!

bokeh, that was wonderfully worded! Just perfect. :)

Stray_mind
March 9th, 2019, 12:53 AM
@nycelle
Studies have shown that being able to grow out hair requires protein, fats, and to generally not be in a state of malnourishment.
There is nothing offensive about this. Being able to grow out hair is for people who nourish themselves. People who have lost hair due to eating disorders, malnutrition, disease, canít grow out hair.

I have been quite malnourished as a teen, eating only one bowl of soup once a day at best, because of some mental problems. Still were able to grow my hair to hip length and would have grown out longer, if i didn't get bored with it. I cut it to shoulder length then.
:shrug:

Maybe i have Super hair or something, lol

Stray_mind
March 9th, 2019, 12:56 AM
Look, I donít need to be interrogated. I made a mistake with my tone, and people corrected me on it. Iím new here, jeez. Did you not read that I was on Reddit and Iím used to a certain tone?

Oh, Reddit. That explains it all. :lol:

Begemot
March 9th, 2019, 04:38 AM
I have been on Reddit 5 or 6 years and this kind of comment/comments wouldn't fly with me there either. You are entitled to have your opinions but once you voice them on a public forum, you better believe there will be people who disagree with you and are ready to provide other arguments and thoughts. It's not interrogating. I find it odd that OP would assume that everyone on this forum would (should?) share their strong opinion. This reminds me of the "short haired women are damaged" discussion :rolleyes:

Ylva
March 9th, 2019, 04:40 AM
I have been on Reddit 5 or 6 years and this kind of comment/comments wouldn't fly with me there either. You are entitled to have your opinions but once you voice them on a public forum, you better believe there will be people who disagree with you and are ready to provide other arguments and thoughts. It's not interrogating. I find it odd that OP would assume that everyone on this forum would (should?) share their strong opinion. This reminds me of the "short haired women are damaged" discussion :rolleyes:

Yeah! And maybe we get another "shorthairs are taking over" thread in the aftermath of this one. :)

Begemot
March 9th, 2019, 04:44 AM
Yeah! And maybe we get another "shorthairs are taking over" thread in the aftermath of this one. :)

So much tea on TLHC recently... :D

Natalia_A00
March 9th, 2019, 07:31 AM
Everybody has their own preferences and subjective opinions on hair, so... Long hair is not inherently better. To think that people who tell you that you'll look nice with shorter hair are trying to make you look less healthy is a stretch. Yes, I don't like people telling me to cut my hair but they say it because that's THEIR preference. Not because those women are your competence for men and they're trying to put you down.

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 07:46 AM
I have been quite malnourished as a teen, eating only one bowl of soup once a day at best, because of some mental problems. Still were able to grow my hair to hip length and would have grown out longer, if i didn't get bored with it. I cut it to shoulder length then.
:shrug:

Maybe i have Super hair or something, lol

Ditto. I had BSL+ at the time I started struggling to eat (lasted 6 months). I lost 1/3 of my thickness but I still had my longer hair. It's not like your body doesn't find a way around your struggles.

It would take a LOT not to be able to grow hair (think illness).

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 07:47 AM
Ow epic epic. This needs epic status. ;) :p

Copasetic
March 9th, 2019, 08:03 AM
What could possibly be the purpose of this thread?

This is exactly what I wanted to post, but was too timid.

Really though.

frostedeyes
March 9th, 2019, 08:09 AM
When I created this thread, I expected discussion—wether you agreed or disagreed and to state your views. What I don’t want is people questioning my intentions or reasons for starting threads. That seems like interrogation, and I’m not willing to go back and forth with people who misunderstand my intentions.

I have an opinion. Either state why you disagree and point out how I’m wrong—maybe with articles, personal antidotes—or leave the thread if it bothers you that much. Only a few members within the last 13 pages have stated their views and why. The rest spoke about cheese.

I have my opinion because studies have shown and backed up what I believe. Are you going to call the studies offensive just because you personally don’t like or agree with something? If someone says that they hate layers, and think it looks awful on most face/body shapes, will you be offended as well?

I also literally read people on LHC who share similar views and no one gets offended. Furthermore, you have, with the exception of some, failed to address that I said “MOST PEOPLE” and not just women, look better with longer hair. Yes, this includes men.

Ligeia Noire
March 9th, 2019, 08:43 AM
*Frostedeyes* I see your point there. First thing that suffers when you have a nutrient deficiency or any related health issue are usually hair, skin and nails. Expenditures to our body they are, in times of trouble. I also don't doubt, that many can still keep on growing but that doesn't mean it is healthy and the thickest you can achieve or that you are the generality.
Same thing when you dye it or heat style it a lot. Some people can still grow it, carefully, but we've seen countless times being stated , how their virgin hair is so much more luscious, fuller and healthier. I still do not understand why everyone jumped on you like there was no tomorrow (I guess that's why the LHC has a certain reputation) but don't be scared of sharing your opinions here if politely. I do disagree about the other things you've stated. Hair comes in all shapes and sizes and everyone should wear it however it pleases them. Long hair is not better, short hair is not better. It is all just hair.

tekla
March 9th, 2019, 09:08 AM
When I created this thread, I expected discussionówether you agreed or disagreed and to state your views. What I donít want is people questioning my intentions or reasons for starting threads. That seems like interrogation, and Iím not willing to go back and forth with people who misunderstand my intentions.

I have an opinion. Either state why you disagree and point out how Iím wrongómaybe with articles, personal antidotesóor leave the thread if it bothers you that much. Only a few members within the last 13 pages have stated their views and why. The rest spoke about cheese.

I have my opinion because studies have shown and backed up what I believe. Are you going to call the studies offensive just because you personally donít like or agree with something? If someone says that they hate layers, and think it looks awful on most face/body shapes, will you be offended as well?

I also literally read people on LHC who share similar views and no one gets offended. Furthermore, you have, with the exception of some, failed to address that I said ďMOST PEOPLEĒ and not just women, look better with longer hair. Yes, this includes men.

As a scientist, I'd want to see those studies.

As for your example on layers, the answer is yes. Whether it's about length, layers, color, curls or whatever, it's the line of argumentation that the people responding to this don't approve of.

ETA: I just want to add that for me it's not about being offended or some other kind of emotional reaction but more about argumentation that should be both solid and respectful.

frostedeyes
March 9th, 2019, 09:35 AM
As a scientist, I'd want to see those studies.

As for your example on layers, the answer is yes. Whether it's about length, layers, color, curls or whatever, it's the line of argumentation that the people responding to this don't approve of.

ETA: I just want to add that for me it's not about being offended or some other kind of emotional reaction but more about argumentation that's both solid and respectful.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/229136335_Does_Women's_Hair_Signal_Reproductive_Po tential
https://www.hairscientists.org/hair-and-scalp-conditions/nutrition-and-hair-health
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/face-value/201606/are-women-long-hair-really-considered-more-attractive%3famp

Blaithin
March 9th, 2019, 10:50 AM
I think one thing not being considered in the hair quality vs health bit, is the length. The hair 28 inches from the scalp is old, it's going to show nutritional issues from the time when it was near the scalp, not nutritional issues that are currently happening.

If I was super healthy 4 years ago and ill now, there's no reason the hair at BSL should reflect current illness. It was grown in a healthy environment. Nails and skin and shorter hair will show damage before long hair ever will because in the scheme of things they're young. Which is probably why when issues are being noted in long hair it's usually hair falling out and becoming less thick, these are issues occurring at the scalp more than mid length. This is also why supplementing is a game to play over a long period of time, you aren't going to get the best results in just a week, you have to be in it for the long haul.

It may be in the links Frostedeyes posted but I want to say there's studies where researchers analyze hair and can tell how healthy people were, drugs they were taking, etc. at a specific time based on where in their hair length certain vitamins and substances are found. I think of it almost like a vertical tree ring. I live on a farm and you can actually see past times of stress in cattle by looking at their hooves (which would be equivalent to our nails). They will get waves and ridges and cracks and lines from events years in the past that become more noticeable as their hooves grow out.

But in today's age of products and extensions it makes it harder to look at a head of hair and make health judgements. Maybe it looks like they have super shiny, healthy, thick hair, but half of it could be fake and the real stuff could be coated with all sorts of products.

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 10:56 AM
When I created this thread, I expected discussion—wether you agreed or disagreed and to state your views. What I don’t want is people questioning my intentions or reasons for starting threads. That seems like interrogation, and I’m not willing to go back and forth with people who misunderstand my intentions.

I have an opinion. Either state why you disagree and point out how I’m wrong—maybe with articles, personal antidotes—or leave the thread if it bothers you that much. Only a few members within the last 13 pages have stated their views and why. The rest spoke about cheese.

I have my opinion because studies have shown and backed up what I believe. Are you going to call the studies offensive just because you personally don’t like or agree with something? If someone says that they hate layers, and think it looks awful on most face/body shapes, will you be offended as well?

I also literally read people on LHC who share similar views and no one gets offended. Furthermore, you have, with the exception of some, failed to address that I said “MOST PEOPLE” and not just women, look better with longer hair. Yes, this includes men.

It's not about that.

It's about being respectful as a (new) poster.

I have tried to tell you that a lot of people on here do *not* have long hair. Because they went back and forth in their own journey or because they are starting from scratch. That is a lot of people to show no respect to. I am talking of your OP on here and the whole purpose of this thread. Not the posts you created later on.

If you had taken some time before jumping right in thinking it's all long hairs here... I think you would have not posted this at all.

tekla
March 9th, 2019, 11:02 AM
1. The study shows that in their sample, younger women are more likely to have long hair than older women and longer-haired women are thus more fertile than short-haired women. However, the more important factor is age, not hair length per se. The study doesn't suggest that I'm less fertile or healthy than my friend who is the same age and has longer hair. Also, the ability to grow long hair doesn't necessarily translate as having long hair (those personal preferences!). You cannot judge anybody's health or fertility by their hair, nor should you. As the article also discusses, cultural beliefs and traditions come into play and as human-made constructions they are subject to debate and contestation.

Another matter is what this thread has been about: appearing fertile and thus appealing to the opposite sex isn't and shouldn't be the deciding factor when making hair style choices and even less in making value statements about other people's choices.

2. Healthy body contributes to healthier hair. Nobody has suggested otherwise?

3. "Like so much of the research on human beauty, there’s enough conflicting evidence that the only firm conclusion we can draw is that there’s no conclusion yet. Science can't predict what makes someone alluring to us, and I’m happy to argue that the best thing any of us can do to be an attractive package is to do what feels right. It’s hard to be your most attractive self when you’re uncomfortable, so even if research showed that long-haired women are more attractive, long hair won't work for you if you don't find it comfortable. I’m not suggesting that any of us should slavishly follow the research in an effort to chase the beauty dragon. Grow your hair long, keep it short, or wear wigs if you like: Just know that beauty-wise, hair alone won’t ensure that any of us make the cut." Nuff said. Not to mention that nobody has to be attractive by any standards.

The-Young-Maid
March 9th, 2019, 11:18 AM
We're not here to argue about science with you. That's not the point. The reason you pi**ed people off is because you are so biased about hair length. You assumed that anyone who cuts their hair *regardless of reason* must've cut it because it was damaged. Who WOULDN'T wAnT LoNG HaiR?

Then you start spewing dated bs about primal instincts when most people, especially outside this forum, couldn't care less about hair in general.

Listen, we love everything hair in this forum. This is also arguably the safest place on the internet to talk hair. So when people come charging in with *opinions* like this we get understandably offended. We don't judge people for the hair they had/have/want to have.

This thread would have an entirely different vibe if you'd opened with, "Hey guys have you seen these studies about blah blah blah? What do you think about them? Also, what do you think about *insert primal weirdness here*? Any truth to it?". That would open a discussion like you said you wanted.

As lapushka mentioned, if you spent more time reading around you would've seen the variety of members here.

MusicalSpoons
March 9th, 2019, 12:33 PM
When I created this thread, I expected discussion—wether you agreed or disagreed and to state your views. What I don’t want is people questioning my intentions or reasons for starting threads. That seems like interrogation, and I’m not willing to go back and forth with people who misunderstand my intentions.

Did you, though? Where in any of your opening tirade did you invite discussion? Let's have a look ...


I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I truly believe that long (anything longer than collarbone length could be considered long.) hair looks much, much better than a buzz cut or a pixie. This isn’t me trying to be insensitive. It’s just my opinion. I’ve seen so many faces not being able to pull off short hair, or their hair texture too thick for a short haircut. Lots of women end up with poofy hair high up top. And with men, short or long hair can go either way. Some men look better with long hair, others short. I personally love men with shoulder length hair and big (not unruly, but well-shaped) beards.

If you'd stopped there, you may well have been okay! Starting with 'I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but ... ' is always dangerous, but actually I don't think there was anything particularly offensive in there. It is framed as your opinion ... 'most people', 'so many faces', okay no total blanket statements and tbh I might even have agreed with you. There are always exceptions but that's fine because by not saying 'all people' we recognise that.

But ... uh-oh ...

i believe that long hair correlates to fertility and health.
Okay, other people's fertility is (as I have already said) nobody's business, plus it's just not entirely true because there are plenty of people with hormonal issues struggling with fertility who still have pretty darned good hair! I've worked with a few of them! Plus fertility and health are emotive subjects because beyond the basic 'eat as well as you can, exercise if possible' we actually don't have any control over either of them. (Notice I say exercise *if* - the nature of my illness means going for what most people wouldn't even consider a short walk, ~50m or so, puts me in bed. Too much movement puts me back in bed. And astonishingly(!), my illness and disability are invisible, so you can never judge.)

Oh, also? Correlation =/= causation. You may *technically* be correct for a majority of people, according to those studies, but unless they eliminate other variables you can't know exactly how closely they may or may not be linked.


Chopping it off makes sense if it’s severely damaged, so why would anyone want to advertise as having damaged locks? I know that nowadays in our society, it’s very much a “live and let live” and YOLO, but I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. I’ve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks “cute”. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because let’s be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.

Um, no. Perhaps slightly less offensive and emotive, but again most of our short-haired members I'm sure would disagree. I'd also be interested to see just how many people have had others try to make them feel bad for growing out their hair. I've never had anything but positive comments, with the vast majority from short-haired people. It's also a bit insulting to assume that hair and appearance is for the purpose of being attractive (presumably to the opposite gender, as you brought fertility into it ... ). That was addressed in previous posts quite thoroughly!


I have an opinion. Either state why you disagree and point out how I’m wrong—maybe with articles, personal antidotes—or leave the thread if it bothers you that much. Only a few members within the last 13 pages have stated their views and why. The rest spoke about cheese.

Again, you didn't exactly make those intentions clear in your initial post, as demonstrated above. You may be interested to note that the cheese was in fact used as part of disagreeing with your opinion, especially with the fertility/attractiveness bit.


I also literally read people on LHC who share similar views and no one gets offended. Furthermore, you have, with the exception of some, failed to address that I said “MOST PEOPLE” and not just women, look better with longer hair. Yes, this includes men.

Because most people express themselves a bit more tactfully and don't bring in ultimately irrelevant issues. And you focused the second part of your original post on women, hence the response.


I get that newbies are new and it takes some time to get a feel for the place, notice the stickies and work out what's what - and that's fine, we were all new once! However, wading in *anywhere* with thoughtless statements and dumping them at the start of a new thread - not even finding a relevant existing thread - will always be viewed with suspicion, and will most likely be met with disbelief and yes, will be met here with cheese.

MoonRabbit
March 9th, 2019, 01:26 PM
My mom had knee length hair for most of her life. Then when my father past she chopped it all off into a pixie. We were all quite shocked because she was very attached to her hair. She didn't cut it because it was damaged or any other stigma. It was her way of letting go of her past self and moving toward in life as a new woman in a new stage of life. Not every decision is black and white.

I understand your opinion and I don't believe your intentions were to cause ill will. I wish long hair, especially extreme lengths was popular again, and let's be real, long hair does get a lot of hate. But I'm also very envious of people that can rock a buzz. I know I don't have the face shape to pull it off at all. But I still enjoy seeing others with it. I love the diversity of all hairstyles, life would be so bleak if we all wanted to look the same.

cjk
March 9th, 2019, 02:11 PM
When I created this thread, I expected discussionówether you agreed or disagreed and to state your views.

And that's exactly what I did. Mine was the very first response to your post and I said that I disagreed, explained why, and identified your statement as a logical fallacy.

The vast majority of the responses, at the start, expressed disagreement but remained basically polite.


What I donít want is people questioning my intentions or reasons for starting threads. That seems like interrogation, and Iím not willing to go back and forth with people who misunderstand my intentions.

I say this with all the love possible, but it is the nature of online forums that discussions evolve naturally. Your intentions, however noble, do not dictate the direction threads will go.

You mentioned that you are active on Reddit so I KNOW you've seen this, first hand.


I have an opinion. Either state why you disagree and point out how Iím wrongómaybe with articles, personal antidotesóor leave the thread if it bothers you that much. Only a few members within the last 13 pages have stated their views and why. The rest spoke about cheese.

Take note of what I said, just above.

Yes, this entire thread devolved into a complete mess. But you'll also notice that when it transitioned to cheese, the tone actually improved.

These ladies, and the comparative few guys like me, are part of a pretty great community. It saddens me that your first, real, experience here turned sour. But maybe if you just consider it a learning experience, the next one will be better?

The times I've had the biggest issues were when I forgot that tone...matters. We all have those moments.


Furthermore, you have, with the exception of some, failed to address that I said ďMOST PEOPLEĒ and not just women, look better with longer hair. Yes, this includes men.

Absolutely true!

But it was more an issue of tone, which read as hostile and argumentative, than nitpicking on a single word inside of a single clause in a single sentence.

Forest and trees.

lapushka
March 9th, 2019, 02:18 PM
These ladies, and the comparative few guys like me, are part of a pretty great community. It saddens me that your first, real, experience here turned sour. But maybe if you just consider it a learning experience, the next one will be better?

The times I've had the biggest issues were when I forgot that tone...matters. We all have those moments.

Very true, this ^^, cjk - agree!

I'm eager to read whatever you post next, OP! But this thread, I'm... sadly... not that much a fan of!

bokeh
March 9th, 2019, 02:49 PM
bokeh, that was wonderfully worded! Just perfect. :)

Thanks Ylva. While I much prefer the helpful, supportive, and informative side of LHC I can't help getting grabbing some popcorn and cheese on threads such as this. I guess the love of drama is part of our culture too. I wish that it wasn't.

blackgothicdoll
March 9th, 2019, 07:42 PM
OP, I you mention that others have mentioned your same opinion, but where? As a comment? In a relative thread? If you had posted what you did in the Random Hair Thoughts thread, I think it would have been mostly ignored or responded to as necessary. But you made an entire thread. An entire thread dedicated to your opinion. So it's not really a side note, or a simple post, it's pretty much an open invitation for commentary - not saying you need to be brutally slaughtered, but you understand you dedicated bandwidth to commentary exclusively on what you had to say about long hair looking better. It's kind of like... what do we do with that information? We didn't really learn anything from it, you weren't asking for advice or giving advice, it was more along the lines of a random thought, and that is why people ask what your intention of this thread was. The question is not interrogation, it's just... well, what's the point? Did you want to stir the pot, or did you just feel that everyone on the forum really, really needed to know that?

With general forum etiquette, most threads of this nature don't seem to go very well - look into the threads about 'women with short hair being damaged', or 'there are too many short hairs on this forum'. It's kind of like, well, sorry you feel that way, but what exactly do you want us to say to that? Most threads here are more informational, sharing hair journeys, techniques, products and pictures and something more of a conversation or an educational experience.

In addition, and I can't say this enough, beauty standards are difficult enough for women, and hearing judgement based on how we like to present ourselves on a forum dedicated to the security and happiness of our hair is kind of counterproductive. I don't really want to hear that I need long hair to attract a mate, or really anything about attracting a mate - we're not really all looking for that. We're not all motivated by beauty, or men, or having children - those are all personal things and not one-size-fits-all. I can't express enough how exhausting it is to try to be attractive in this world, and feeling that women are treated like wallflowers that need to be appealing to the eye. We're more than that - men are more than that - human beings are more than that.

And those are my opinions specifically, not everyone's. I don't want your experience on this forum to be a negative one, I'm only trying to offer some insight of why your thread wasn't well received if the last 15 pages have not yet done so. Everyone is free to express their opinion, but there is a way to do so. Also, not everyone is inclined to agree, as many of us have done here.

I see you're still around and posting and I hope you do continue to do so. :o

Dark40
March 9th, 2019, 08:42 PM
I have to agree with you on that note. I think most people look a lot better with long hair rather than short hair.

MoonRabbit
March 9th, 2019, 09:41 PM
OP, I you mention that others have mentioned your same opinion, but where? As a comment? In a relative thread? If you had posted what you did in the Random Hair Thoughts thread, I think it would have been mostly ignored or responded to as necessary. But you made an entire thread. An entire thread dedicated to your opinion. So it's not really a side note, or a simple post, it's pretty much an open invitation for commentary - not saying you need to be brutally slaughtered, but you understand you dedicated bandwidth to commentary exclusively on what you had to say about long hair looking better. It's kind of like... what do we do with that information? We didn't really learn anything from it, you weren't asking for advice or giving advice, it was more along the lines of a random thought, and that is why people ask what your intention of this thread was. The question is not interrogation, it's just... well, what's the point? Did you want to stir the pot, or did you just feel that everyone on the forum really, really needed to know that?

With general forum etiquette, most threads of this nature don't seem to go very well - look into the threads about 'women with short hair being damaged', or 'there are too many short hairs on this forum'. It's kind of like, well, sorry you feel that way, but what exactly do you want us to say to that? Most threads here are more informational, sharing hair journeys, techniques, products and pictures and something more of a conversation or an educational experience.

In addition, and I can't say this enough, beauty standards are difficult enough for women, and hearing judgement based on how we like to present ourselves on a forum dedicated to the security and happiness of our hair is kind of counterproductive. I don't really want to hear that I need long hair to attract a mate, or really anything about attracting a mate - we're not really all looking for that. We're not all motivated by beauty, or men, or having children - those are all personal things and not one-size-fits-all. I can't express enough how exhausting it is to try to be attractive in this world, and feeling that women are treated like wallflowers that need to be appealing to the eye. We're more than that - men are more than that - human beings are more than that.

And those are my opinions specifically, not everyone's. I don't want your experience on this forum to be a negative one, I'm only trying to offer some insight of why your thread wasn't well received if the last 15 pages have not yet done so. Everyone is free to express their opinion, but there is a way to do so. Also, not everyone is inclined to agree, as many of us have done here.

I see you're still around and posting and I hope you do continue to do so. :o

I've seen very similar opinions mentioned in a thread. I don't want to point fingers at members but it is a hot topic that has been mentioned quite a few times around here.


Maybe OP was just looking for validation. I mean, coming to a long hair community and saying I like long hair on everyone isn't that crazy of an idea.

SurprisingWoman
March 9th, 2019, 10:50 PM
Well I happen to agree with you, especially in older women. I am one so I feel like I have a valid opinion. We kinda get a lot of flack if we donít conform to the fuzzy short old lady look. Why canít yíall just disagree without the mean comments? Donít feel bad, I got the same bs when I posted something. Instead of a long hair forum, this is more like a mean girl club!!

frostedeyes;3657050, I did try to warn you on post #62 on this thread to read more and talk less. LHC is a great resource but it is a mean girls club. It is so clicky and judgy that you will find that many of the older members don't post here. Look how long I have been a member, how long my hair has been for ages and how many posts I have. You come here, you learn and you visit on occasion to see if things have changed. They have not.

Use this site as a reference, as a learning tool, but don't expect it to be a happy place where you can make friends.

I know that this post is not KIND but there are MANY, MANY, MANY posts on this thread that are not KIND, they are judgy, but not at the forum, just at a member. Do your due diligence but keep in mind that if you are truly a space for open conversation you can't shut someone down for trying to protect the new kid. We have all been singed while wearing her shoes. It will be interesting to see if I am still a member after 12 years with this post.

akurah
March 9th, 2019, 11:01 PM
Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you want to make friends your opener shouldn't be an opening salvo...

littlestarface
March 10th, 2019, 03:26 AM
frostedeyes;3657050, I did try to warn you on post #62 on this thread to read more and talk less. LHC is a great resource but it is a mean girls club. It is so clicky and judgy that you will find that many of the older members don't post here. Look how long I have been a member, how long my hair has been for ages and how many posts I have. You come here, you learn and you visit on occasion to see if things have changed. They have not.

Use this site as a reference, as a learning tool, but don't expect it to be a happy place where you can make friends.

I know that this post is not KIND but there are MANY, MANY, MANY posts on this thread that are not KIND, they are judgy, but not at the forum, just at a member. Do your due diligence but keep in mind that if you are truly a space for open conversation you can't shut someone down for trying to protect the new kid. We have all been singed while wearing her shoes. It will be interesting to see if I am still a member after 12 years with this post.

Agreeeed +1

LadyCelestina
March 10th, 2019, 09:08 AM
I don't get this person at all - mainstream long hair IS short, maybe APL to BSL, waist at most, anything beyond that is considered ew... having very long hair signifies that you likely don't care too much about conventional beauty standards, so in that sense it's the same as having short hair. :shrug:


Anyway I like men with long hair, which is also considered unattractive and can signify all sorts of things about the wearer. It's all right, we can be unattractive together with my shortish poofy curls :p

Aerya
March 10th, 2019, 09:17 AM
I don't get this person at all - mainstream long hair IS short, maybe APL to BSL, waist at most, anything beyond that is considered ew... having very long hair signifies that you likely don't care too much about conventional beauty standards, so in that sense it's the same as having short hair. :shrug:


I thought of this as well. I found a thread (on Reddit, no less) asking guys what hair length they preferred on women, and while most said "long" their idea of that was usually between shoulder and waist, and many said that longer than that would be too much.

I think what we prefer is strongly rooted in trends and culture, although biology of course plays a part. And saying that women applauding other women cutting their hair short are doing so because they want the other woman to be less attractive is ridiculous. I love long hair both on myself and others, but some people are just more suited for another style, and ultimately the most important thing is that they are happy with their hair themselves. Confidence and happiness is beautiful.

Ylva
March 10th, 2019, 09:27 AM
And saying that women applauding other women cutting their hair short are doing so because they want the other woman to be less attractive is ridiculous.

I'm actually trying hard to encourage my mom to let hers grow (she has a buzzcut). Does this mean I want my mother as my genetic competition in the game of reproduction and mate attraction? :hmm:

AmaryllisRed
March 10th, 2019, 09:28 AM
When my friends cut their hair short and I compliment them on it, it's because it looks good! And maybe a little part of me wishes I could do the same. (I could never pull off a pixie.) It's certainly not because I want their husbands to leave them and come have babies with me. Please no. And I don't compliment women who cut their hair short and do NOT look good. It always feels awkward. Obviously I noticed and I'm not saying anything. But saying nothing is better than saying, "Oh you cut your hair!" and stopping there. Or lying about it looking nice.

sophia_
March 10th, 2019, 09:57 AM
I love long hair and thus I applaud others (of any gender) who try to grow their own out of personal preference, but short hair looks beautiful sometimes, in a different way- and I understand that my own preferences are pretty niche and most people don't agree with me about what looks good, lol.

Mei_Lin
March 10th, 2019, 10:20 AM
I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. I’ve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks “cute”. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because let’s be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.

That is what bothers me about this thread, that assumption. Not OP's personal preference.

shutterpillar
March 10th, 2019, 10:23 AM
I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I truly believe that long (anything longer than collarbone length could be considered long.) hair looks much, much better than a buzz cut or a pixie. This isn’t me trying to be insensitive. It’s just my opinion. I’ve seen so many faces not being able to pull off short hair, or their hair texture too thick for a short haircut. Lots of women end up with poofy hair high up top. And with men, short or long hair can go either way. Some men look better with long hair, others short. I personally love men with shoulder length hair and big (not unruly, but well-shaped) beards.

i believe that long hair correlates to fertility and health. Chopping it off makes sense if it’s severely damaged, so why would anyone want to advertise as having damaged locks? I know that nowadays in our society, it’s very much a “live and let live” and YOLO, but I think that most women encouraging other women to drastically cut their hair are making sure (subconsciously) that they become less healthy-looking. I’ve noticed that whenever a girlfriend cuts her hair short, everyone will longer hair will say it looks “cute”. And if you grow out your hair, others try to make you feel bad, because let’s be honest: long hair gets a lot of attention.

So, I have read the whole thread and I think I will respond to this in sections and each of your statements separately. I've quoted your post for reference because it's easier for me to look back to and respond.

You said you think anything longer than collarbone length hair looks much, much better on people than a buzzcut or pixie. That is your opinion, and I am going to say I don't feel the same way. I have been everywhere from hip to buzz cut and I think I looked effing hot either way. I have many friends, family, and strangers that will agree with me. When I had a buzz cut I thought my features stood out more. With all that hair away from my face, eyes appeared bigger, my cheekbones more prominent. I felt more feminine than I ever have in my life, to be completely honest with you. But I also really enjoy the opposite end of the spectrum too... I love having exceptionally long hair because it feels unique to me. You don't see many people in day to day life with TBL hair. (or at least I don't where I live.) On the topic of what "looks better" on the general public.... I am bisexual, and I can say that I am not really one to be attracted to someone based on looks or hair length. I am more the type of person that is drawn to personalities, if that makes sense. I'm attracted to long, short, anything inbetween as long as they're a good person. So maybe I'm not particularly helpful there because I don't see what you see.

You said you believe long hair correlates to fertility and health, and that chopping it off makes sense if it is damaged, thus one would be advertising to the world that they are unhealthy by cutting their hair short. Please correct me if this is not what you meant, but this is how I read it. I would have to say I disagree. I know some very healthy, happy people with buzz cuts and some very depressed, damaged, and unhealthy people with very long hair. I know women with pixies who have multiple kids, and women with long hair who have fertility problems because they have PCOS or endometriosis. So, I have to say I don't agree with your statement about hair being a hint into someone's health and fertility. I very, very strongly disagree with your statement that *most* women are encouraging other women to be less healthy and attractive. If my friend wants a hair cut, I will give her my honest opinion. My friends would do the same for me. It has nothing to do with this inner urge to be the most beautiful, fertile, alpha female. I can say I've never had these experiences that you seem to have with people in your community or inner circle. Most people I know are always very encouraging or honest and have no ulterior motive when I ask their opinion on a hairstyle.

Beeboo123
March 10th, 2019, 10:31 AM
I think healthy hair looks better on people. And more of it (i.e. long healthy hair) looks better- canít have too much of a good thing yíknow. Short hair is easier to keep healthy, so people with unhealthy hair would look better with short hair. If my friend wants a haircut, i would definitely encourage her to do it if it is damaged from heat or coloring, and i would be absolutely honest when i tell her that she looks better in short hair, because i think short, shiny hair is much prettier than long hair full of white dots and splits. And most times when i use the word ďcuteĒ, i say it because i canít think if anything better to say, and iím trying to be encouraging and enthusiastic about something someone else likes, even if i personally donít

frostedeyes
March 10th, 2019, 10:40 AM
Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you want to make friends your opener shouldn't be an opening salvo...

That’s enough. Stop trying to tell me what to say and how to say it. Don’t like my bio? Then stop stalking my page.

Either contribute to the discussion or send me a PM if you have a problem with something unrelated to the thread.

LadyCelestina
March 10th, 2019, 10:51 AM
^ They were talking about this post, frostedeyes, not your the about me section in your profile :)

frostedeyes
March 10th, 2019, 10:55 AM
^ They were talking about this post, frostedeyes, not your the about me section in your profile :)

Someone said that “if I want to make friends on here then I shouldn’t be making threads like this” which is unrelated to the topic at hand. (I said I liked meeting new people in my bio.)

Groovy Granny
March 10th, 2019, 11:05 AM
The way this thread has evolved deeply saddens me :(

We have the KNIT policy....but I do not see it being applied here...... and this is not the first time I have seen this allowed.

Even some troll threads are given 'epic status' where it is a free for all to mock the op.

I love LHC and am indebted to the support and inspiration I have received, but the repeated lynching of new members who 'err' deeply grieves me.

I usually keep to myself but goodness...it is now 17 pages long and still going :thud:

To each their own opinion, but let's not beat a dead horse; the OP has repeatedly been chastised even after repeatedly explaining themself.

LHC is better than this, and for me is about INSPIRATION ~ SUPPORT ~ FRIENDSHIP .

That's just my :twocents: I won't be reading any more of these type threads going forward.

Life is too short and filled with enough drama ~ I wish you ☮ & ♡ :flower:

Ligeia Noire
March 10th, 2019, 11:05 AM
I can tell you that yes, there is some jealousy hidden in some of the comments one gets. Some times, not even so hidden. As someone that had long hair all my life and lived in two continents and also by displaying my hair publicly on a youtube channel, I feel that on occasion.
This, does not mean that, in general, they are all jealousy. Of course not.
Mostly, they are just plain ignorance and aversion to uncommonly longer hair pure aversion but yes there is some jealousy too.

If you can take a look at this very popular video of Aliia and look at the comments. (I know I know....)

https://youtu.be/gGI7LsSUiOw

I mean, this woman's hair is absolutely healthy from head to toe and look what is being said.
I, myself, had some family members offering my mother to pay to take me to the hairdresser time and time again... and a colleague in college that was happy and smiled when I showed up with my tbl hair at waist length. These are all personal anedoctes... there are more but again these are not all people or generality but it does happen. It does not necessarily mean anything. I certainly am not going to discuss the underlying meaning of it all but I'll keep it to myself. I have seen some of those reactions in this very LONG hair forum. It annoyed me to the point of considering posting pictures and even leaving. I do have to say, that very long hair and very short hair on women get the same flake maybe super long even more if it was worn down.

LadyCelestina
March 10th, 2019, 11:08 AM
Well, they are not entirely wrong - posts like yours tend to crop up a lot, along with a very douchey article that was reposted over and over and over again, with the same discussion as here. It's a very popular unpopular opinion that you stated, and sorry if it offends you, but it's hard to take seriously anymore :eyeroll: Hence why members turned it to cheese at first, and now I guess we stay for the drama :) :shrug:

frostedeyes
March 10th, 2019, 11:16 AM
I can tell you that yes, there is some jealousy hidden in some of the comments one gets. Some times not even so hidden. As someone that had long hair all my life and lived in two continents and also by displaying my hair publicly on a youtube channel, I feel that I occasion.
This, does not mean that, in general, they are all jealousy. Of course not.
Mostly they are just plain ignorance and aversion to uncommonly longer hair pure aversion but yes there is some jealousy too.

If you can take a look at this very popular video of Aliia and look at the comments. I know I know....

https://youtu.be/gGI7LsSUiOw

I mean, this woman's hair is absolutely healthy from head to toe and look what is being said.
I myself had some family members offering my mother to pay to take me to the hairdresser time and time again... and a colleague in college that was happy and smiled when I showed up with my tbl hair at waist length. These are all personal anedoctes... there are more but again these are not all people or generality but it does happen. It does not necessarily mean anything. I certainly am not going to discuss the underlying meaning of it but I'll keep it to myself. I have seen some of those reactions in this very LONG forum. It annoyed me to the point of considering posting pictures and even leaving. I do have to say, that very long hair and very short hair on women get the same flake maybe super long even more if it was worn down.

I have seen the video before, and I agree, the comments were just appallingórude, judgmental, and yes, even jealous because it goes against the norm and what people consider to be acceptable. I secretly think many people who hate long hair or longer than average hair are either jealous or they conform to societyís standards.

Iím so sorry to hear about the negative experience about your hair! On the forums too? Iím so sorry to hear that. And yeah, I hear you about someone being happy you cut your hair to APLómy mom in 2016 was waiting in the salon since she wanted to get her hair cut after me, and prior to cutting it, I had hip length hair. Miscommunication happened with the stylist and she gave me collarbone length hair. And as soon as I walked off and my mother saw me, she was incredibly happy I chopped it off.

The same thing happened to my sister and she went from midback length hair to collarbone and my mother was incredibly angry that her ďgorgeous brown hair and balayageĒ was gone. But me? Nope, my hair is too thick to her, (my sister has thin, straight hair.) and hair thatís thick needs to be chopped off. Ugh.

Ligeia Noire
March 10th, 2019, 11:31 AM
I have seen the video before, and I agree, the comments were just appallingórude, judgmental, and yes, even jealous because it goes against the norm and what people consider to be acceptable. I secretly think many people who hate long hair or longer than average hair are either jealous or they conform to societyís standards.

Iím so sorry to hear about the negative experience about your hair! On the forums too? Iím so sorry to hear that. And yeah, I hear you about someone being happy you cut your hair to APLómy mom in 2016 was waiting in the salon since she wanted to get her hair cut after me, and prior to cutting it, I had hip length hair. Miscommunication happened with the stylist and she gave me collarbone length hair. And as soon as I walked off and my mother saw me, she was incredibly happy I chopped it off.

The same thing happened to my sister and she went from midback length hair to collarbone and my mother was incredibly angry that her ďgorgeous brown hair and balayageĒ was gone. But me? Nope, my hair is too thick to her, (my sister has thin, straight hair.) and hair thatís thick needs to be chopped off. Ugh.

I don't think mostly is because of jealousy, like I stated. When it is after classic, the rude comments are because they consider it dirty, cumbersome and ugly. Very ugly. Go figure....


The forum comments were not about cutting and were not only because of me and I won't go further into that again, I've explained it before and it's off-topic Enough drama as it is. It did not hurt me, it just annoyed and surprised me.
I do think you are completely entitled to your opinion about long hair looking better on most people. You think that,so what?
You do, however, realize that not everyone that dislikes it is jealous or anyone with short hair will be less fertile. That's kind of silly if you ask me.
Sorry I am blunt like that :)
but genuinely I think you understood it already.
Oh yeah thick hair always has to be thinned out or layered. My sister had hers thinned out too once without even
asking.
In the handful of times I went to a salon, one of them was pretty peculiar. The owner said my hair was very impressive and that she would pay for it. And then chopped it to shoulder length. When I just wanted it curled and trimmed. I was 18 back then and my hair was only waist my sister in law kind dragged me to do it but that taught me a lesson, hairdressers -in general- do not like long hair and do not care what you want.

akurah
March 10th, 2019, 12:11 PM
That’s enough. Stop trying to tell me what to say and how to say it. Don’t like my bio? Then stop stalking my page.

Either contribute to the discussion or send me a PM if you have a problem with something unrelated to the thread.

I'm pretty sure haven't even clicked your profile or your bio, my response was on my phone (hence the lack of quotes) and explicitly intended for this post immediately above, which may have been unsuitable for a quote because it looks like something went wrong somewhere with the formatting:

frostedeyes;3657050, I did try to warn you on post #62 on this thread to read more and talk less. LHC is a great resource but it is a mean girls club. It is so clicky and judgy that you will find that many of the older members don't post here. Look how long I have been a member, how long my hair has been for ages and how many posts I have. You come here, you learn and you visit on occasion to see if things have changed. They have not.

Use this site as a reference, as a learning tool, but don't expect it to be a happy place where you can make friends.

I know that this post is not KIND but there are MANY, MANY, MANY posts on this thread that are not KIND, they are judgy, but not at the forum, just at a member. Do your due diligence but keep in mind that if you are truly a space for open conversation you can't shut someone down for trying to protect the new kid. We have all been singed while wearing her shoes. It will be interesting to see if I am still a member after 12 years with this post.

The thing that triggered this response is that without fail, every single time someone like you inadvertently starts a megathread like this, is that people of varying activity levels come out of the woodworks and are complaining about how nasty and mean and unkind we are, this happens fairly regularly, and THOSE people aren't stopping to consider that people don't want to be friends with people who start off with an "opening salvo" that is easily interpreted as an attack, and they also don't want to be friends with people who come across as being uninterested in being friends. It takes a LOT of effort as it is to interact with people, going to make friends takes it to another level of effort, and if you've always posted nasty stuff on the forum and/or quite simply didn't participate in the forum, well, how can you be expected to make friends.

It was only tangentially related to your original post by virtue of the fact that your original post triggered their complaints.

I don't actually know anything about you (nor care) beyond what was mentioned in this thread, and I find your whining ironic being a self-described redditor. They don't play nice there.

Wendyclaire
March 10th, 2019, 12:49 PM
It really doesnít matter what a newbie posts. Someone takes offense to it and then others just pile on. And the awful demeaning cheese jokes to make the person feel even worse! Do you have any idea how bad that makes someone feel? When you think youíve found a refuge to talk and seek advice about long hair with other like minded people and you get this? What are you all in high school? Or grade school? Yeah, here comes the mean girls. Moving on, lifeís too short!!

Lady Stardust
March 10th, 2019, 01:27 PM
It really doesn’t matter what a newbie posts. Someone takes offense to it and then others just pile on. And the awful demeaning cheese jokes to make the person feel even worse! Do you have any idea how bad that makes someone feel? When you think you’ve found a refuge to talk and seek advice about long hair with other like minded people and you get this? What are you all in high school? Or grade school? Yeah, here comes the mean girls. Moving on, life’s too short!!

My understanding regarding the cheese posts are that they are a way to diffuse tension. A silly way of changing the subject. There was a lot of ill feeling dragged up on a recent thread so some of us went straight for the cheese/pizza when we could sense it happening again.

cjk
March 10th, 2019, 01:29 PM
It really doesn’t matter what a newbie posts.

As the old saying goes, it matters not only what you say, but how you say it. I've gotten in trouble, myself, for the exact same reason.

I learned from the experience.

Based on her subsequent responses in this thread, even her most recent one, she has not. Many have attempted to explain why this thread turned sour, myself included, and she has shown no sign of understanding.

Everything is everyone else's fault.


Someone takes offense to it and then others just pile on.

You're not entirely wrong. Mob behavior is a thing, and since we are only human we are not immune to it.

But if you look at the replies, the vast majority were not particularly aggressive. More like a me-too thing, each expressing a similar sentiment. That's what you're describing as piling-on.

However, I'd like to make a gesture. Hopefully start helping it turn around.

My first reply to her was expressing disagreement, but my second reply was notably less polite. Because of that I'd like to extend a heartfelt apology to the OP. I'd like to try to mend that fence.

I'm sorry.


Yeah, here comes the mean girls. Moving on, life’s too short!!

Girls? Are you assuming my gender? LOL!

Ylva
March 10th, 2019, 02:24 PM
It really doesn’t matter what a newbie posts. Someone takes offense to it and then others just pile on. And the awful demeaning cheese jokes to make the person feel even worse! Do you have any idea how bad that makes someone feel? When you think you’ve found a refuge to talk and seek advice about long hair with other like minded people and you get this? What are you all in high school? Or grade school? Yeah, here comes the mean girls. Moving on, life’s too short!!

Welp, "awful demeaning cheese jokes" is not something you hear every day!

nycelle
March 10th, 2019, 02:37 PM
I can tell you that yes, there is some jealousy hidden in some of the comments one gets. Some times, not even so hidden. As someone that had long hair all my life and lived in two continents and also by displaying my hair publicly on a youtube channel, I feel that on occasion.
This, does not mean that, in general, they are all jealousy. Of course not.
Mostly, they are just plain ignorance and aversion to uncommonly longer hair pure aversion but yes there is some jealousy too.

If you can take a look at this very popular video of Aliia and look at the comments. (I know I know....)

https://youtu.be/gGI7LsSUiOw

I mean, this woman's hair is absolutely healthy from head to toe and look what is being said.
I, myself, had some family members offering my mother to pay to take me to the hairdresser time and time again... and a colleague in college that was happy and smiled when I showed up with my tbl hair at waist length. These are all personal anedoctes... there are more but again these are not all people or generality but it does happen. It does not necessarily mean anything. I certainly am not going to discuss the underlying meaning of it all but I'll keep it to myself. I have seen some of those reactions in this very LONG hair forum. It annoyed me to the point of considering posting pictures and even leaving. I do have to say, that very long hair and very short hair on women get the same flake maybe super long even more if it was worn down.

I appreciate hair that long, but I don't want it for myself either. Definitely not jealousy, just a preference.

Her husband was hysterical..lol..

OT but I was amazed how everyone spoke Russian in Riga (Latvia). I have distant family in Lithuania and the kids don't know Russian.

frostedeyes
March 10th, 2019, 02:41 PM
My first reply to her was expressing disagreement, but my second reply was notably less polite. Because of that I'd like to extend a heartfelt apology to the OP. I'd like to try to mend that fence.

I'm sorry.





I appreciate your apology.

Ligeia Noire
March 10th, 2019, 02:46 PM
I appreciate hair that long, but I don't want it for myself either. Definitely not jealousy, just a preference.

Her husband was hysterical..lol..

OT but I was amazed how everyone spoke Russian in Riga (Latvia). I have distant family in Lithuania and the kids don't know Russian.

Yeah me too, that is why people in the comments were assuming the native language there was Russian.

Her husband cracked me up... he surely is funny.
About hair that long, I surely hope to get to floor at least but I understand the reaction IF PEOPLE ARE POLITE.
Mostly are just disgusted and shocked and around the web and in the outside world most are not jealous like I said before, they take the approach you did here or the other approach which is to say we are disgusting, lost count of the times I read that online, surely they do not say that to my face or anyone's. A lot of the times it is also not even a jealousy about length, I firmly believe most people do not want hair that long or even longer than waist and that is totally fine but it seems the patience the person has towards it, the quality of the hair and the attention it gets gathers a lot of that percentage of comments or remarks that steam of jealousy or envy, perhaps? Not much I must say but it does happen on occasion.

milosmomma
March 10th, 2019, 03:21 PM
This thread has gotten so long! I dont agree with all of the ops opinions but I have definitely felt the pressure from people to cut my hair. Mainly my mom, I'm not sure why she feels that way but when I had hip length before I chopped(which she was happy about) she would ask me when I'm going to cut it and jokingly call me "lovely locks". Such a silly thing to pick on someone about but she used to be relentless. I get the same flack for letting my sons hair grow. My parents and my bf parents want us to cut his hair. I dont think it has anything to do with them trying to make us less attractive I just think they have a strong preference for short, or maybe just a strong dislike of long hair.
My opinion is that hair grows out of our heads and I love seeing all different kinds of hair, lengths of hair, textures whatever and we should let it grow. Unless you want a shaved bald head then you should do that because if you're not doing what you want in life then you're not going to be happy.
I am still new and have had some learning experiences so i just want the OP to feel welcomed like I did when I joined here.

Aerya
March 10th, 2019, 04:15 PM
I'm actually trying hard to encourage my mom to let hers grow (she has a buzzcut). Does this mean I want my mother as my genetic competition in the game of reproduction and mate attraction? :hmm:

Why certainly! Have you not heard, all women must cut their hair short as soon as they are done having children.

I wonder what that says of my mum, who has long hair with a sidecut... :D

tekla
March 10th, 2019, 04:20 PM
^ Maybe she hasn't made up her mind quite yet and wants leave her options open? You know, best of both worlds kinda thing...

lapushka
March 10th, 2019, 04:30 PM
frostedeyes;3657050, I did try to warn you on post #62 on this thread to read more and talk less. LHC is a great resource but it is a mean girls club. It is so clicky and judgy that you will find that many of the older members don't post here. Look how long I have been a member, how long my hair has been for ages and how many posts I have. You come here, you learn and you visit on occasion to see if things have changed. They have not.

Use this site as a reference, as a learning tool, but don't expect it to be a happy place where you can make friends.

I know that this post is not KIND but there are MANY, MANY, MANY posts on this thread that are not KIND, they are judgy, but not at the forum, just at a member. Do your due diligence but keep in mind that if you are truly a space for open conversation you can't shut someone down for trying to protect the new kid. We have all been singed while wearing her shoes. It will be interesting to see if I am still a member after 12 years with this post.


Agreeeed +1

Having been around since 2005, I have been a *very* frequent poster around here, and I notice none of the things you both are describing. I feel at home here. You can expect "discussion", and it can be lively, but that is normal.

mwallingford
March 10th, 2019, 04:33 PM
The way this thread has evolved deeply saddens me :(

We have the KNIT policy....but I do not see it being applied here...... and this is not the first time I have seen this allowed.

Even some troll threads are given 'epic status' where it is a free for all to mock the op.

I love LHC and am indebted to the support and inspiration I have received, but the repeated lynching of new members who 'err' deeply grieves me.

I usually keep to myself but goodness...it is now 17 pages long and still going :thud:

To each their own opinion, but let's not beat a dead horse; the OP has repeatedly been chastised even after repeatedly explaining themself.

LHC is better than this, and for me is about INSPIRATION ~ SUPPORT ~ FRIENDSHIP .

That's just my :twocents: I won't be reading any more of these type threads going forward.

Life is too short and filled with enough drama ~ I wish you ☮ & ♡ :flower:

I agree with you 100% GG. Everybody makes mistakes and I think it's time to start letting this go. It takes a bit of time to develop a feel for this forum, and we were all new at some point. The OP meant to ill in starting this thread and I think we've all pointed out her error well enough at this point. Please just live and let live guys :flower:

lapushka
March 10th, 2019, 04:35 PM
This thread has gotten so long! I dont agree with all of the ops opinions but I have definitely felt the pressure from people to cut my hair. Mainly my mom, I'm not sure why she feels that way but when I had hip length before I chopped(which she was happy about) she would ask me when I'm going to cut it and jokingly call me "lovely locks". Such a silly thing to pick on someone about but she used to be relentless. I get the same flack for letting my sons hair grow. My parents and my bf parents want us to cut his hair. I dont think it has anything to do with them trying to make us less attractive I just think they have a strong preference for short, or maybe just a strong dislike of long hair.
My opinion is that hair grows out of our heads and I love seeing all different kinds of hair, lengths of hair, textures whatever and we should let it grow. Unless you want a shaved bald head then you should do that because if you're not doing what you want in life then you're not going to be happy.
I am still new and have had some learning experiences so i just want the OP to feel welcomed like I did when I joined here.

When I was a child, and I'm a girl, my grandparents (dad's side), couldn't wait to take me to their barber. I always went with my grandpa to get my hair in a pixie, later page-boy cut. I even remember my grandpa once taking out his scissors following me around and making snippy sounds at the back of my head, because it was "time" again.

When I was 5 and in 1st grade, I told my mom I was going to grow out my hair. By then I no longer was going to the barber but I was going with my mom to the "real" hairdresser. When I noticed it wasn't growing, I put my foot down and said I was no longer going to go to the hairdresser. After that my mom said, yes let's grow out your hair. And I grew to classic age 10/11.

milosmomma
March 10th, 2019, 05:21 PM
When I was a child, and I'm a girl, my grandparents (dad's side), couldn't wait to take me to their barber. I always went with my grandpa to get my hair in a pixie, later page-boy cut. I even remember my grandpa once taking out his scissors following me around and making snippy sounds at the back of my head, because it was "time" again.

When I was 5 and in 1st grade, I told my mom I was going to grow out my hair. By then I no longer was going to the barber but I was going with my mom to the "real" hairdresser. When I noticed it wasn't growing, I put my foot down and said I was no longer going to go to the hairdresser. After that my mom said, yes let's grow out your hair. And I grew to classic age 10/11.

I dont think it's right when adults push their opinions onto small children. I am glad your mom worked with you and helped you achieve your wishes for long hair. I have done similar for my daughter who is about bcl right now. She doesn't even like to trim but I do make her trim twice a year just because she wears braids and the ends get pretty trashed and need the freshening up. I have a nephew who wants to grow his hair long but his father who is a big shot lawyer and always sporting a military type cut is adamant against it. For my son I would let him, help him and support him if he could decide to grow his hair. He's only 1 year right now and I'm the one taking care of his hair so I'm just letting it do its thing. But my nephew being denied the opportunity to grow long actually saddens me and makes me realise how important it is to let your kids be who they want to be. I think we all just need to be supportive of each other even if we dont agree. It takes more energy to argue than to support.

Crystawni
March 10th, 2019, 07:25 PM
It really doesnít matter what a newbie posts. Someone takes offense to it and then others just pile on. And the awful demeaning cheese jokes to make the person feel even worse! Do you have any idea how bad that makes someone feel? When you think youíve found a refuge to talk and seek advice about long hair with other like minded people and you get this? What are you all in high school? Or grade school? Yeah, here comes the mean girls. Moving on, lifeís too short!!

That's lovely. I left a link about why we defer to cheese here on LHC upthread if you'd care to take a look:


Check out this cheesy thread (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=68777).


And yeah, I've got too much experience and enjoyment of all hair lengths, styles, textures, colours, and all that on myself and others (I've been cutting hair for over 35 years) so when it really comes to this subject, :cheese:. I'm longhaired now, but not boxed in enough to think that's all I want or strive for. I like change, and embrace it, even when it's suddenly thrust upon me. Life's like that. You'll never know what may grow on you. :p


littlestarface, you know how to make my tummy rumble!! :yumm:

But as Lady Stardust mentioned:


My understanding regarding the cheese posts are that they are a way to diffuse tension. A silly way of changing the subject. There was a lot of ill feeling dragged up on a recent thread so some of us went straight for the cheese/pizza when we could sense it happening again.

We do get trolls here, and I suspect sometimes even people who are paid to post (it's a way to up forum numbers when things are slow). The long and short of it is, some of us have been around the tracks a very long time, and are wary, and tired. All the conflict. This thread just reeked of conflict from the start. We're a forum full of people of all ages from all over the world, and from all walks of life. We can't all get along. But we do try, even when conflict bites hard. Sorry that we come off as immature, as it's not intended to be cruel. It's our way of diffusing when things are heading towards a potential blow-up. Again, experience, empathy, all that.

In saying that, and attempting to be back on topic, I've gotta say I'm not my hair, and my hair is not me. If anyone wanted me just for my hair, I'd be offended.

SurprisingWoman
March 10th, 2019, 08:49 PM
Having been around since 2005, I have been a *very* frequent poster around here, and I notice none of the things you both are describing. I feel at home here. You can expect "discussion", and it can be lively, but that is normal.

Bahahahahahahahaha!

I love it when everyone is in touch with what is going on because, "it didn't happen to me."

Hahahahaha!

So glad you used your frequent posting status to defend the OP and new kid on the block. Well done!

/sarcasm off

Edited because I am not sure that some people will understand that they are clueless about how things ARE vs their PERCEPTION.

blackgothicdoll
March 10th, 2019, 09:22 PM
^ OT but your hair is absolutely incredible :o

SurprisingWoman
March 10th, 2019, 09:28 PM
^ OT but your hair is absolutely incredible :o

Thank you. I got it from my daddy. I got a lot of other things too but my blue eyes and my silver hair are my favorites. :)

Ylva
March 11th, 2019, 02:31 AM
I wonder what that says of my mum, who has long hair with a sidecut... :D

She might want to have her ovaries checked, the other one might have failed. :)

But yeah, enough about this subject I think. :D

Aredhel
March 11th, 2019, 08:50 AM
Welp, "awful demeaning cheese jokes" is not something you hear every day!
This made me chuckle.:lol:

truepeacenik
March 14th, 2019, 10:46 PM
Nah, I’ve one ovary and my hair grows well enough. :cheese:


She might want to have her ovaries checked, the other one might have failed. :)

But yeah, enough about this subject I think. :D