Getting lots of attention in public places

[Milkchocolate]

How do you girls/ guys feel about this? And have you ever experienced it? As my hair grows more I guess it’s going to what most would consider an “extreme length” (but being from this forum I think it’s anything but lol :) )

I got inspired from a few days ago when I entered a shop with my friend and quietly got my things and left. After, we got in the car and my friend explained to me that when my back was turned, a woman with her family was making faces at my hair and shaking her head etc..

I’ve always been a bit shy and garnering more attention has been a bit nerve-wrecking. I realize that it’s something that some would think is “unusual” and accept the fact that it will happen. In a way it’s helped me gain thicker skin but I do occasionally get the eye rolls, head shakes, bewildered looks (which is the parts I hate)

Basically I’m a public-attention garnering hair newbie. It’s all very new to me and would like to hear some of your stories and how you deal with this llol

[blackgothicdoll]

Making faces and rolling eyes? Goodness, why? When I see long hair in public I look in awe, but try very hard not to get caught staring in fear of creeping the person out. I can't imagine somebody looking unhappy because your hair is long. What's their problem?

[akurah]

They don't realize how long it is when it's up. On days where you don't want to deal with the attention, try wearing it up

[Quixii]

Yes, unusually long hair does seem to attract more attention and comments. Honestly, if I don't want to deal with it - which is most of the time - I wear it up in a bun. Most of the comments I get are nice, but it's still a lot of attention.

[Chromis]

I don't often adjust my hair in public and like wearing it up anyhow, but I am pretty much resigned that any time I take it down, there will be attention. It is generally the nice kind, but yes sometimes you just want to be left alone. :laugh:

[Ceib]

When I had classic length hair, I rarely got negative comments from strangers. Most of the time it was from family (specifically MIL). I did tend to wear it up more often than not, but when I had it down rudeness was not common, but it did exist. Some people are always negative and just cannot help themselves.

[Todd]

Most of the time it was from family (specifically MIL). Some people are always negative and just cannot help themselves.

Family can be harsh.

I was in a restaurant awhile back, and there was a big family there including a girl about 13 or 14 years old, with classic-length hair. Her grandma was making a big stink about her hair, saying she felt like she'd been seated next to a horse! And since she (grandma) had raised the issue, mom and dad chimed in too and suggested it was probably getting much too long. The poor girl looked vary sad!

[lithostoic]

I've had hair every color of the rainbow (literally) as well as dreadlocks. Even with "normal" hair people tend to stare at me so I'm just used to it at this point. I always scare the hell out of people though, because I can feel when they are looking, and I instantly make direct eye contact XD

[AmaryllisRed]

To my knowledge, no stranger has ever stared at my hair or made a comment on it.

[Mitzy]

I was at a class and someone was staring at my hair (It's not very long, just bra strap length and hers was longer, so...) I looked her dead in the eye and said, "Do I know you?" in as friendly a voice as possible. I have a vision impairment and can be sitting right next to someone I have met 2 or 3 times and not recognize them. She said, "No, sorry. Some of us were trying to figure out what's in your hair?" She then explained they thought my teal and purple "hidden" streaks were feathers! We had a good laugh and decided that growing multi color feathers as well as long hair would be awesome! We are friends now.

[sophia_]

I stopped wearing my hair down in certain places because I've had an old man grab my braid before. Compliments are usually nice, but it's not worth feeling physically endangered. I've never had a stranger critique it, though, just creeps and genuine compliments.

[unicourtney]

I've learned most people are pretty closed-minded, and a lot of them like to condemn any decision or lifestyle that doesn't mimic their own. Sometimes I pity them for being so small, and sometimes I dye my hair fluorescent pink to silently communicate that I don't care what anyone thinks of me ;)

[cjk]

I get a comment of some sort almost every time I go somewhere new. Between long hair often worn in braids, and a competition quality beard, I strike a sufficiently odd figure that somebody says something.

Women usually comment on my hair, the best I got was a black woman shrieking how much she loves my cornrows! I was wearing braided pigtails that day.

Men give the beard nod or the beard brush.

[littlestarface]

I never had any real bad experiences like that and if they did look at me weird behind my back well who cares. Tho I don't even like compliments on my hair they make me feel embarrassed and uncomfy people are looking at me. Like today at work I wore my hair in a braid and everyone was complimenting me so I will never let that happen again, no way.

[kimki]

I get a comment of some sort almost every time I go somewhere new. Between long hair often worn in braids, and a competition quality beard, I strike a sufficiently odd figure that somebody says something.

Women usually comment on my hair, the best I got was a black woman shrieking how much she loves my cornrows! I was wearing braided pigtails that day.

Men give the beard nod or the beard brush.

Not just any beard, a competition quality beard! :D :D


In general I think sometimes people stare just at anything that is different or interesting. It's not always passing any particular judgement or negativity.

[Reyesuela]

Unless it’s longer than classic length or an unusual color or it had something in it....I’d say it didn’t actually happen.

That’s suspicious me though.

[eresh]

I don't wear my braid down or a ponytail or my hair completely loose any more in public places.
(Only close to home I will wear it in a pony or braid down or so, in my own little village, never in the city anymore)
I've had my share of unwanted attention all right. (also some compliments, usually from little girls or old ladies :-) but the negative attention weighs more heavy)
People touching my hair, taking unasked photos, pointing, comments about wiping my butt with my hair, and even had a man follow me around town when I said he couldn't touch my hair.
Very creepy! He even got in the same bus as me when I went home.....I didn't dare get out on my usual busstop for fear he would follow me all the way home.

So no, I don't wear it loose in public anymore.
Except close to my own home in my little village where everyone knows me
Or on longhairmeetings of the Dutch forum.



Edit: There have been newsstories here that some men are creeping up behind long haired women and cutting their hair.....
"Lust barbers" they were called. Nasty! So that too makes me paranoid.
Bun is safe!

[Joules]

Edit: There have been newsstories here that some men are creeping up behind long haired women and cutting their hair.....
"Lust barbers" they were called. Nasty! So that too makes me paranoid.
Bun is safe!

Nothing like giving a romantic nickname to sick a$$holes, am I right?

[cjk]

Not just any beard, a competition quality beard! :D :D

Well, I AM on the competition circuit. Have been for years.


In general I think sometimes people stare just at anything that is different or interesting. It's not always passing any particular judgement or negativity.

Precisely. Different will get attention. Whether that attention is good, bad, or neutral is a separate question.

And the vast majority of the time, it's neutral.

[Chromis]

Unless it’s longer than classic length or an unusual color or it had something in it....I’d say it didn’t actually happen.

That’s suspicious me though.

I had it happen with my plain brown hair around BSL before I learned better ways to put it up. There is seriously nothing overly outstanding about my hair, it is pretty much medium in every way. (I am completely fine with this, but people used to always try to get me to do "something" with the colour when I was younger especially.)

[Sora Rose]

I don't wear my hair down in public and haven't for the past two years, but it's not because I want to avoid the attention - it's because I don't want anyone to see what my ends look like or the weird waves my bun gives me. I sometimes do have to redo my bun while I'm out shopping, and I HAVE noticed people looking sideways at me while I do, but I don't really care why.

[MusicalSpoons]

Unless it’s longer than classic length or an unusual color or it had something in it....I’d say it didn’t actually happen.

That’s suspicious me though.

I used to get a fair amount of attention ranging from benign to positive when I wore my hair down pre-LHC, when it was in its hip-TBL cycle, complete with raggedy ends and nothing special :shrug: However they were comments from friends, acquaintances or otherwise somehow familiar people (e.g. pass each other on the walk to work) so not total strangers.

I now usually wear my hair bunned; on the odd occasion I've had it not bunned (ponytail, braid) I'll still get lots of comments, but again from friends or acquaintances because in Actual Public it's always bunned for convenience. I've only rarely had to rebun in public and never noticed any attention at all, although I usually deliberately tried to do it somewhere quieter or just put my hair away in my hood or round my neck so it's out of the way until I can do it discreetly. [Nowadays whenever I go anywhere truly public I usually use a wheelchair so my hair absolutely must be out of the way! :grin:]

Ew 'lust barbers' - what a benign name for such a horrifying concept! shudder:

[EdG]

Dianyla famously described the effect as "leaving thudpiles in one's wake". :thudpile:

After a while, one gets used to having a wake with thudpiles in it. ;)
Ed

[ArabellaRose]

My hair is currently nothing dramatically special in the LHC context, but it's hip length and in great condition and I do get comments whenever I wear my hair down or have to rebun in public, usually just a neutral comment like "your hair is so long", it's hardly ever a particularly positive or negative comment, just a simple statement.

I don't like people commenting on my hair just like I don't like people commenting on me being short or slim, but I'm not going to change who I am because of it.

[neko_kawaii]

I'm sure to receive at least one positive comment if I wear my hair down (loose or in a braid). Usually to the extent that it is very long and pretty. I've never overheard a negative comment and I learned a very long time ago not to interpret the looks of those around me as reflecting on me in any way. Saves a hell of a lot of anxiety.

[*Wednesday*]

Unless it’s longer than classic length or an unusual color or it had something in it....I’d say it didn’t actually happen.

That’s suspicious me though.

What didn't happen? Milkchocolates story? I believe she is classic or thigh length.

[Alibran]

I had it happen with my plain brown hair around BSL before I learned better ways to put it up. There is seriously nothing overly outstanding about my hair, it is pretty much medium in every way. (I am completely fine with this, but people used to always try to get me to do "something" with the colour when I was younger especially.)

Really? I had the opposite. When people learned that I coloured, I'd usually get asked, "What do you need to colour your hair for?" As if the only reason to colour hair was to cover grey, and not because you just wanted a different colour.

[Milkchocolate]

What didn't happen? Milkchocolates story? I believe she is classic or thigh length.

I’m mid thigh length :) and yes it did happen! Hahah

[Milkchocolate]

I’m grateful that I at least have more nicer experiences than bad. I’m shy that even compliments make me easily embarrassed. In my fantasy world, people just give me a thumbs up and move on lol. It’s nice that hair is a conversation ice-breaker so I’ve definately gotten more practice talking to strangers over the years :) (which is a good thing yay) *me trying to find the positive* lol!!

[Chromis]

Really? I had the opposite. When people learned that I coloured, I'd usually get asked, "What do you need to colour your hair for?" As if the only reason to colour hair was to cover grey, and not because you just wanted a different colour.

I think some people are just busybodies! I also got asked why I didn't curl it or put layers in it or get bangs..... Weirdos. This was also back in university though and I don't get that out here in the "real" world. Then again, I am older now too and more assertive. I don't think people dare now! :twisted:

When I was younger though and less confident, people used to try to tell me what to do with my body/clothes/self All. The. Time.

[MusicalSpoons]

Dianyla famously described the effect as "leaving thudpiles in one's wake". :thudpile:

After a while, one gets used to having a wake with thudpiles in it. ;)
Ed

:laugh: that's when you know you've reached true LongHairedness!

[Ceib]

Family can be harsh.

I was in a restaurant awhile back, and there was a big family there including a girl about 13 or 14 years old, with classic-length hair. Her grandma was making a big stink about her hair, saying she felt like she'd been seated next to a horse! And since she (grandma) had raised the issue, mom and dad chimed in too and suggested it was probably getting much too long. The poor girl looked vary sad!

That is so very sad and will probably stick in that child’s memory forever 😔

[EdG]

that's when you know you've reached true LongHairedness!Even better is getting together with a group of LHC'ers. We could cut a swath through the crowd! ;)
Ed

[Kattt]

Right now, any comments about my hair are usually about it color, henna red. It's not that long at all, especially by LHC standards. When I had it way longer (classic length), I would have people comment on it me often. Standing in line getting on a bus, some older woman commented to her husband "look at that long braid", but said nothing to me, despite the fact I was directly in front of them. :lol: I also had people comment on how it was "freakishly long" at a social gathering. I took that as a complement though. I'd would also have people randomly grab my braid from behind me at times..... Kinda rude, and good thing I wasn't too jumpy when they did it, or someone coulda gotten smacked by mistake!

[JackintheBox]

I have also come to the conclusion that different = looks and/or comments. As a guy I am always a bit different since growing my hair, and as a shy/reserved person as well, the attention has taken some getting used to. Over time I have come realize that it is mostly just because seeing long hair, or longish hair on a guy, is something out of the ordinary for people so they look. It does influence how I choose to wear my hair though as attention goes down the more restrained it is. loose > ponytail > braid > bun > short hair.

[Shepherdess]

:laugh: that's when you know you've reached true LongHairedness!


Even better is getting together with a group of LHC'ers. We could cut a swath through the crowd! ;)
Ed
Oh my goodness, this is just awesome!! Hahaha! I'd love to be in that get together!! :D

[pailin]

I don't often wear my hair down, and then it's usually at work (for a couple hours if it isn't dry yet, usually) or church, which are relatively safe place for it. In general public places I tend not to, because I stand out already here in Thailand. I get random strangers talking about me (or to me) as it is. But if I go shopping with my hair down, or even in a braid, I hear people commenting all the time, on the length and color. Usually not to my face- people assume I don't understand them.
No one ever notices my hair color in particular until I leave it down.
So I only wear my hair down if I'm in a mood to deal with attention,and I never do it in the crowded markets downtown.

[Kat]

My favorite thing about cutting my hair back to hip length was that the number of random strangers i public who wanted to talk to me about it went down dramatically (if I remember correctly, I went from knee and made a stopping point around classic for a while, and it was when I went from classic to hip that I somehow passed the magic line of "hair that is long enough for people in public to want to talk to me about"). That alone would be a very good reason for me never to go longer than this again!

I don't really want to talk to strangers in public; usually I want to be left alone to do my thing. (If it was, say, Harrison Ford who wanted to talk to me, that would be one thing-- I wouldn't even be annoyed if he suggested I "do my hair like Princess Leia", lol--but it never is, alas... Otherwise, pretty much the only reason I want someone in public to talk to me is if they are pointing out that I am on fire, or that there are free chocolate and piles of kittens in Aisle 12, or that Harrison Ford is right over there.) I especially don't want to talk to strangers in public about something I don't consider even remotely interesting (it's just my hair. This is just my arm. This is just my sock. Etc.), over and over again, and dealing with silly questions and assumptions (like that I have long hair for religious reasons, or because other women in my family do, or because I have never ever cut it in my entire life, blah blah blah)*.

If I get other nonverbal reactions, especially if they're not explicitly directed TO me, I don't see it; I don't tend to pay attention to how other people react to me (really, even when someone will say to me "did you see everyone looking at you because X reason?" and it turns out I had nooooo clue anyone was paying any attention to me at all...).


*I just spontaneously came up with a new response for the people who want to think there's some kind of deep meaning behind me having long hair: "Yes. Where I come from, you earn the right to grow your hair six inches for every virgin you kill." *Deliver in deadpan voice, stare them down, walk away*



I've had hair every color of the rainbow (literally) as well as dreadlocks. Even with "normal" hair people tend to stare at me so I'm just used to it at this point. I always scare the hell out of people though, because I can feel when they are looking, and I instantly make direct eye contact XD

I need to learn this skill, except my luck is, instead of intimidating people into looking/going away, it would actually invite them to talk to me...

[Ligeia Noire]

I do not really wear it loose in public anymore but I still get comments or questions when I leave my braid down or when I have it bunned, most of the time, I have no issues answering questions or thanking compliments, no big deal, people are curious about what is unusual but I would say if it is up you are mostly out of sight and out of mind.

[lithostoic]

My favorite thing about cutting my hair back to hip length was that the number of random strangers i public who wanted to talk to me about it went down dramatically (if I remember correctly, I went from knee and made a stopping point around classic for a while, and it was when I went from classic to hip that I somehow passed the magic line of "hair that is long enough for people in public to want to talk to me about"). That alone would be a very good reason for me never to go longer than this again!

I don't really want to talk to strangers in public; usually I want to be left alone to do my thing. (If it was, say, Harrison Ford who wanted to talk to me, that would be one thing-- I wouldn't even be annoyed if he suggested I "do my hair like Princess Leia", lol--but it never is, alas... Otherwise, pretty much the only reason I want someone in public to talk to me is if they are pointing out that I am on fire, or that there are free chocolate and piles of kittens in Aisle 12, or that Harrison Ford is right over there.) I especially don't want to talk to strangers in public about something I don't consider even remotely interesting (it's just my hair. This is just my arm. This is just my sock. Etc.), over and over again, and dealing with silly questions and assumptions (like that I have long hair for religious reasons, or because other women in my family do, or because I have never ever cut it in my entire life, blah blah blah)*.

If I get other nonverbal reactions, especially if they're not explicitly directed TO me, I don't see it; I don't tend to pay attention to how other people react to me (really, even when someone will say to me "did you see everyone looking at you because X reason?" and it turns out I had nooooo clue anyone was paying any attention to me at all...).


*I just spontaneously came up with a new response for the people who want to think there's some kind of deep meaning behind me having long hair: "Yes. Where I come from, you earn the right to grow your hair six inches for every virgin you kill." *Deliver in deadpan voice, stare them down, walk away*




I need to learn this skill, except my luck is, instead of intimidating people into looking/going away, it would actually invite them to talk to me...

It always worries me that it might happen. Unfortunately it's something I can't control. Like how if someone calls your name, you will turn and look without thinking. So far nobody has tried starting a conversation after I've looked them dead in the eye with a blank expression. But I've been told I'm really intimidating? Idk why, I'm small and not scary looking or particularly attractive.

[languagenut]

That is so very sad and will probably stick in that child’s memory forever ��

For sure. Just reading about it triggers painful childhood memories for me (not about hair specifically, but instances of "ganging up" on aspects of myself) :-(

[trolleypup]

Dianyla famously described the effect as "leaving thudpiles in one's wake". :thudpile:

After a while, one gets used to having a wake with thudpiles in it. ;)
Ed


I’m grateful that I at least have more nicer experiences than bad. I’m shy that even compliments make me easily embarrassed. In my fantasy world, people just give me a thumbs up and move on lol. It’s nice that hair is a conversation ice-breaker so I’ve definately gotten more practice talking to strangers over the years :) (which is a good thing yay) *me trying to find the positive* lol!!
Drive-by compliments. Best way.

:laugh: that's when you know you've reached true LongHairedness!


Even better is getting together with a group of LHC'ers. We could cut a swath through the crowd! ;)
Ed
That photo lineup outside the Japanese Tea Garden!

Oh my goodness, this is just awesome!! Hahaha! I'd love to be in that get together!! :D
The average hairlength that meet was, what, thigh length?

Overwhelmingly positive comments here.

[Reyesuela]

What didn't happen? Milkchocolates story? I believe she is classic or thigh length.

Her friends may have lied to try to make her feel bad unless she lives in a place where such hair is shocking. It’s a weirdly extreme reaction unless her hair is equally extreme. And even then it would be rare for people to be that nasty

[MusicalSpoons]

Her friends may have lied to try to make her feel bad unless she lives in a place where such hair is shocking. It’s a weirdly extreme reaction unless her hair is equally extreme. And even then it would be rare for people to be that nasty

Honestly, people can be nasty completely unprovoked - you know there was a spate in the US of white people calling the police on black people going about their daily business*? I think that's much nastier than Milkchocolate's experience (the lady didn't say anything to her face) and far more unbelievable, yet it happened. There are people who *genuinely* believe the Holocaust did not happen, that all the evidence is fabricated - weirdly extreme, yes, but still true. We have plenty of accounts on here of people who've had unsolicited advice to cut their hair because it's 'too long' well before classic length, so while I can understand your skepticism, it being an odd / extreme / rare occurrence in your own experience doesn't automatically make it false :shrug:

(*It may well still be happening, I don't know.) I actually don't want to engage in this tangent of the thread because I need my brainpower for other things, but felt these points might be useful.

[Milady_DeWinter]

Honestly, people can be nasty completely unprovoked - you know there was a spate in the US of white people calling the police on black people going about their daily business*? I think that's much nastier than Milkchocolate's experience (the lady didn't say anything to her face) and far more unbelievable, yet it happened. There are people who *genuinely* believe the Holocaust did not happen, that all the evidence is fabricated - weirdly extreme, yes, but still true. We have plenty of accounts on here of people who've had unsolicited advice to cut their hair because it's 'too long' well before classic length, so while I can understand your skepticism, it being an odd / extreme / rare occurrence in your own experience doesn't automatically make it false :shrug:

(*It may well still be happening, I don't know.) I actually don't want to engage in this tangent of the thread because I need my brainpower for other things, but felt these points might be useful.

I am all with it. Not hair related, but some years ago while I was running minding my own business, some boys in their 20's in a car started driving slowly at my side screaming me things. When I put off my earphones, I realized that they were actually calling me fatty, fat ass, and that I would better keep running to lose some weight. The thing is, I am thin, healthy looking and even a bit underweight for my age/height. I was utterly angry and sad at the same time, because I could well ignore those comments, but there are a lot of people out there that can not. So, YES, people can be incredible nasty. Complete strangers can feel entitled to tell you anything that crosses their minds.

So, I totally believe that it can potentially happen anytime :shrug:

[EdG]

That photo lineup outside the Japanese Tea Garden!We never intended to turn those tourist groups into thudpiles. We were just having a meet. :wannabe:
Ed

[Milkchocolate]

Her friends may have lied to try to make her feel bad unless she lives in a place where such hair is shocking. It’s a weirdly extreme reaction unless her hair is equally extreme. And even then it would be rare for people to be that nasty

Nope she didn’t lie! I could attest to it because I was there and heard the woman grow very quiet when I stood near her line. Yes where I’m from,long hair is very rare. And I’m at the point where my hair is beginning to get what some would consider “extremely” long since anything over butt length is super rare over here. Which is why she reacted like that! :) And nope! Unfortunately I’m not blessed enough to live in a place where mean-spirited people don’t think exist lol :p but i am glad you find my little boring story so amazingly hard to beleive! (hahah kidding ^_*) ❤️

[Milkchocolate]

so while I can understand your skepticism, it being an odd / extreme / rare occurrence in your own experience doesn't automatically make it false :shrug:


Truest words! every person is their own universe :)

[Milkchocolate]

I am all with it. Not hair related, but some years ago while I was running minding my own business, some boys in their 20's in a car started driving slowly at my side screaming me things. When I put off my earphones, I realized that they were actually calling me fatty, fat ass, and that I would better keep running to lose some weight. The thing is, I am thin, healthy looking and even a bit underweight for my age/height. I was utterly angry and sad at the same time, because I could well ignore those comments, but there are a lot of people out there that can not. So, YES, people can be incredible nasty. Complete strangers can feel entitled to tell you anything that crosses their minds.

So, I totally believe that it can potentially happen anytime :shrug:

That sounds awful! :( I went through a similar experience years ago! Sadly some people just get a kick out of making fun of others. But it’s great that you were strong enough to recognize that you were not what they said! :)

[*Wednesday*]

Her friends may have lied to try to make her feel bad unless she lives in a place where such hair is shocking. It’s a weirdly extreme reaction unless her hair is equally extreme. And even then it would be rare for people to be that nasty

I’m a bit taken back you would doubt the authenticity of a members experience, then further claim her friends may have lied? Where I live, thigh length hair would definitely garner attention. I live in the US on the east coast.
How people feel about that length of hair could be good or bad, however it gets attention because it’s not commonplace. I can go into 2 local malls and can guarantee I won’t see a woman over 18 with thigh length hair. At least here where I live.

People today are very rude and nasty. Have a comment for everything and anything. I very much believe her story, and if people are jelly to boot.

[MusicalSpoons]

I've seen thigh length hair IRL on an adult precisely *once*. Around here you might see it on girls aged 10 or under but by 11 or 12 they've usually cut it shorter. Plus the fact that most longhairs with hair that length would usually have it up, for people in general to actually see it on someone would be very unusual indeed.

[*Wednesday*]

There are people who *genuinely* believe the Holocaust did not happen, that all the evidence is fabricated - weirdly extreme, yes, but still true. We have plenty of accounts on here of people who've had unsolicited advice to cut their hair because it's 'too long' well before classic length, so while I can understand your skepticism, it being an odd / extreme / rare occurrence in your own experience doesn't automatically make it false :shrug:

(*It may well still be happening, I don't know.) I actually don't want to engage in this tangent of the thread because I need my brainpower for other things, but felt these points might be useful.

..Or Tom Brady is a woman and Gisele is a man:D. My son told me about this. I guess beliefs like this attracts strange followings. People can be nutter butters.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=undefined&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwj4quu23qfgAhWi7oMKHcmBAVIQzPwBCAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailystar.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fwei rd-news%2F593502%2Fnfl-new-england-patriots-tom-brady-wife-gisele-bundchen-illuminati-transvestite-super-bowl&psig=AOvVaw1ctu95LAJi57QxVTxuSspJ&ust=1549564149857442

[Kat]

It always worries me that it might happen. Unfortunately it's something I can't control. Like how if someone calls your name, you will turn and look without thinking. So far nobody has tried starting a conversation after I've looked them dead in the eye with a blank expression. But I've been told I'm really intimidating? Idk why, I'm small and not scary looking or particularly attractive.

My mom always used to say I come across as cold and standoffish... but apparently that only works on people I might want to talk to. The ones who want to talk about my hair, or assume I work in a store, or are socially-awkward, or who just really need to talk at someone, apparently see me as inviting (at least, the other thing my mom always said, when I'd complain about the fact that I am very regularly mistaken for an employee of any store I go to regardless of what kind of store and I'm wearing or doing, is that I "look approachable." Well, either I am approachable or I am standoffish! LOL)

It doesn't help that I don't look at all intimidating... I'm female, look young-ish (though not as much as I used to), don't look particularly intelligent, have a sort of innocent look, on the thin side, average height but I have a feeling I may come across as short (at least, once my former partner's mom said "Kat is short"-- as she looked UP at me... I had at least 2-3" on her but apparently I still seemed short to her?) so I'm not physically imposing either... me giving someone a Look of Death probably has about the same effect as an angry kitten. :(



That sounds awful! :( I went through a similar experience years ago! Sadly some people just get a kick out of making fun of others. But it’s great that you were strong enough to recognize that you were not what they said! :)

I would've recognize that I wasn't what they said, but it wouldn't have kept me from wanting to throw glass bottles at them. That kind of jerk makes my blood boil (almost literally, I swear!), regardless of whether what they say is true.



I’m a bit taken back you would doubt the authenticity of a members experience, then further claim her friends may have lied? Where I live, thigh length hair would definitely garner attention. I live in the US on the east coast.
How people feel about that length of hair could be good or bad, however it gets attention because it’s not commonplace. I can go into 2 local malls and can guarantee I won’t see a woman over 18 with thigh length hair. At least here where I live.

People today are very rude and nasty. Have a comment for everything and anything. I very much believe her story, and if people are jelly to boot.

I believe it too, and don't understand why anyone would say they don't. It's not even that unbelievable of a thing to happen; I've seen a lot of people here say they've had disapproving reactions/comments from people about their hair (some well worse than this). I've never thought they were lying. Why would I? Why would I even care if they were? Don't believe it? Don't respond to it. Simple. Why call someone out for this?




Basically I’m a public-attention garnering hair newbie. It’s all very new to me and would like to hear some of your stories and how you deal with this llol

Let me introduce you to the "Dumbest Hair Comments You've Received" (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=26513) thread... currently 101 pages of just this. You are not alone...

[PixieNixie]

I dont get attention for length, but attention for color. Usually it is nice compliments about how pretty it looks. Rarely have I gotten stares or eye rolls. Most of the negativity has come from my own family tbh; not the general public.

[spidermom]

Even at classic length, my hair didn't get that much attention, and when it did, it was positive. I wore it loose to a Christmas party one year, and a young man with Down syndrome seemed to be trying to bury himself in it while I was sitting with it over the back of my chair. That was awkward, especially when he didn't take kindly to his father trying to separate him from it.

[Alexandrina]

On the opposite side of things, I always notice nice hair!

Honestly, I think hairstyles stand out more than makeup (unless I guess someone's wearing horrible clown makeup, lol)

If I see someone in public with very long hair, I notice. (but I won't go up and comment about it to them, I leave them alone.) If someone has an intricate updo, I notice that too! Even if their hair ISNT long, just a nice style, or color, they get a glance, lol. For example the other day, there was a cashier with the most beautiful head of shoulder length red curls. I'm talking MOVIE style curls, I was like WOW.

So I'd say yes, unique hair- either length or style, will stand out in public.

[Reyesuela]

Nope she didn’t lie! I could attest to it because I was there and heard the woman grow very quiet when I stood near her line. Yes where I’m from,long hair is very rare. And I’m at the point where my hair is beginning to get what some would consider “extremely” long since anything over butt length is super rare over here. Which is why she reacted like that! :) And nope! Unfortunately I’m not blessed enough to live in a place where mean-spirited people don’t think exist lol :p but i am glad you find my little boring story so amazingly hard to beleive! (hahah kidding ^_*) ❤️

It would be weird somewhere that you see thigh length hair reasonably often. I’ve had hair that long and I can’t think of a single negative thing a stranger ever said about it except one person who randomly accused me loudly of wearing a weave. It’s just not that weird. There are Holiness girls, Indian women, and just random people who wear long hair down. It’s not remarkable. So it’s not remarked on.

If you stand out, then that makes way more sense, as tacky as it was.

Yes, I’ve had teenagers yell at me as I’ve run, but that’s different. (They were soliciting me...which may have been more hilarious because of the absurdity than outright insults but not less offensive certainly!)

I’ve also been screamed at and threatened for being a white woman in certain neighborhoods. Very common here.

[Reyesuela]

I would've recognize that I wasn't what they said, but it wouldn't have kept me from wanting to throw glass bottles at them. That kind of jerk makes my blood boil (almost literally, I swear!), regardless of whether what they say is true.

I believe it too, and don't understand why anyone would say they don't. It's not even that unbelievable of a thing to happen; I've seen a lot of people here say they've had disapproving reactions/comments from people about their hair (some well worse than this). I've never thought they were lying. Why would I? Why would I even care if they were? Don't believe it? Don't respond to it. Simple. Why call someone out for this?




Let me introduce you to the "Dumbest Hair Comments You've Received" (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=26513) thread... currently 101 pages of just this. You are not alone...

No need to be snotty. I didn’t call her out. SHE did not hear anything. She was told by her friend. Given that I’ve spent most of my life with hair between hip and thigh and I used to always wear it down and have been to close to a dozen countries and can count exactly one intentionally nasty comment by a random stranger made in close to 20 years...yes, it seemed more likely that her friend either lied or greatly exaggerated.

I have had dozens of people make endless idiotic comments or tell me my hair is pretty so I should cut my hair and donate it or that I’ll HAVE to cut it when I’m older or other goofy things. I’ve even had a couple of random idiots—must have been the boys who used to pull my braids, all grown up— say “I wonder what she’d do if I cut all that hair off.” They thought they were comic geniuses. I have contributed heavily to your linked thread. People making faces and waving at my hair? Never.

If she lives somewhere that long hair is truly weird, and if she trusts her friend, then fine. It probably happened.

[GrowlingCupcake]

Ah, the usual "It has never happened to me so it didn't happen/must be unlikely".

If I applied that to all of the things that have never happened to me, I would think most of what people experience is unlikely/fake!

[Lady Stardust]

Milkchocolate my first thought about a mother pointing your hair out to her children and shaking her head, was that she was warning them not to grow their hair that long while in her care because she didn’t want to deal with the potential tangles :)

That’s me being overly generous I expect. Some people are just rude.

[truepeacenik]

How do you girls/ guys feel about this? And have you ever experienced it? As my hair grows more I guess it’s going to what most would consider an “extreme length” (but being from this forum I think it’s anything but lol :) )

I got inspired from a few days ago when I entered a shop with my friend and quietly got my things and left. After, we got in the car and my friend explained to me that when my back was turned, a woman with her family was making faces at my hair and shaking her head etc..

I’ve always been a bit shy and garnering more attention has been a bit nerve-wrecking. I realize that it’s something that some would think is “unusual” and accept the fact that it will happen. In a way it’s helped me gain thicker skin but I do occasionally get the eye rolls, head shakes, bewildered looks (which is the parts I hate)

Basically I’m a public-attention garnering hair newbie. It’s all very new to me and would like to hear some of your stories and how you deal with this llol

First, other people’s reactions to what you are is their problem, not yours.
It’s not your problem that they have no manners and exhibit their perceptions in a noticeable way.
Your friend having an issue? Also the friend’s problem.

Touching might happen, and that becomes your problem.
Braids and buns are my solution. Braids for control, buns to hide length outright.
Oh, and scrub caps. Because red gets attention good and bad.

[daisy rei]

*I just spontaneously came up with a new response for the people who want to think there's some kind of deep meaning behind me having long hair: "Yes. Where I come from, you earn the right to grow your hair six inches for every virgin you kill." *Deliver in deadpan voice, stare them down, walk away*


Definitely using this in the future. ;)

[sugar&nutmeg]

Milkchocolate

imo, any opinion, whether negative or positive, is a just that: an opinion. It belongs entirely to the 'giver', and has (or need have) nothing to do with the object of that opinion (you / your hair, in this case).

To cherish good comments, and be hurt/angered by the not-so-good comments, is to give both wayyyyy too much power, imo.

What anyone (family, friends, a passing stranger) thinks of my hair, or anything else about me, is nothing to do with me. Why should it be?

You might suggest to your friend that, in future, she not share any long-hair reactions she sees, if you have been oblivious to those reactions...I mean, what's the point of that?

[cjk]

Definitely using this in the future. ;)

As a heavily bearded blond "Viking" man I'm going to use a version of this, myself. LMAO!

[Jo Ann]

I have both, long (for my neck of the woods) and dyed hair. Because I usually keep it in a bun, the length isn't noticed so much (unless I wear it in a rope braid over one shoulder), but the color sure is! Because I deal with the public, I'm as nice as can be, but there are a few customers I get that are critical of "unusually colored hair." They'll say something about their grandmother/neighbor/daughter/friend having an unusual color (or combination) and I let them know the different colors my hair has been over the last year.

The looks are priceless :face:

[spirals]

Ah, the usual "It has never happened to me so it didn't happen/must be unlikely".

If I applied that to all of the things that have never happened to me, I would think most of what people experience is unlikely/fake!

I couldn't agree more.

[cjk]

By the legal definition I've actually been physically assaulted. At a tire shop I had a middle aged man come up to me and grab hold of my beard. Yanking on it to see if it was real. Yes, it hurt.

They still talk about the incident since it was so odd.

Others, more often women, will pet or caress my beard and hair and sometimes bury their noses in it. Without permission, usually, though the more polite ones will at least ask permission.

Often older members at my church will playfully tug on my pigtail braids. Friendly and playful, but still unsolicited touching.

And I regularly garner attention at shopping malls. In the last month I've had two people, a man and a woman, come up to me expressing their interest, and cup my crotch. Is that a new greeting among kids? It's definitely not something I was ever taught!

Personal space seems to be a concept lost on too many.

[gustavonut]

God this is so sad to read for me because this is the exact reason why I cut my hair. Every time I wore it down either in public or at a family gathering, people would grab it or try to run their fingers through it (nobody ever asks of course) and they would always break hairs or rip them out completely. *CRINGE* Ughhhh JUST STOP :slap:

[Kat]

No need to be snotty. I didn’t call her out. SHE did not hear anything. She was told by her friend. Given that I’ve spent most of my life with hair between hip and thigh and I used to always wear it down and have been to close to a dozen countries and can count exactly one intentionally nasty comment by a random stranger made in close to 20 years...yes, it seemed more likely that her friend either lied or greatly exaggerated.

I have had dozens of people make endless idiotic comments or tell me my hair is pretty so I should cut my hair and donate it or that I’ll HAVE to cut it when I’m older or other goofy things. I’ve even had a couple of random idiots—must have been the boys who used to pull my braids, all grown up— say “I wonder what she’d do if I cut all that hair off.” They thought they were comic geniuses. I have contributed heavily to your linked thread. People making faces and waving at my hair? Never.

If she lives somewhere that long hair is truly weird, and if she trusts her friend, then fine. It probably happened.

I wasn't being snotty, but go on and believe that if it makes you feel better or something. You're the one who came out first with "you're lying" and then it turned into "your friend is a liar." That's not "snotty"???

Again, why tell someone their friends would lie to them? Especially since I'm assuming you don't personally know either party in question. Why does it matter to you if a random stranger on the internet is telling the truth about something this minor? If your intent was to make her feel better about the prospect of strangers giving her dirty looks about her hair, "your friend is a liar" to make her feel bad about something else instead probably wasn't the way to go about it. Is it possible the friend was mistaken about the reason for the looks? Sure. But you could say that rather than saying she has friends who will deliberately lie to her, to make her feel bad, about stupid things no less.




Definitely using this in the future. ;)


As a heavily bearded blond "Viking" man I'm going to use a version of this, myself. LMAO!


I kind of wish you'd have videorecordings of when you do. :) (Mind you, I always come up with these but then never use them. I did once-- a waitress was like, "is that your real hair???" and I came back with "no, I'm just holding it for someone." My tone wasn't snarky, I just said it mildly, but she got so offended and acted hurt-- "I was just asking you a question!!" and then my mom got one me for being "mean" -- again, no nasty or sarcastic tone, I simply said it in a neutral way-- and I've not had the stones to give anything but an honest, nicey-nicey response since because I was so surprised by her extreme reaction to a plain-though-not-overly-friendly statement. Maybe I should just always fall back on, "I can't talk about it." They'll be puzzled, but probably not offended.)

[trolleypup]

I kind of wish you'd have videorecordings of when you do. :) (Mind you, I always come up with these but then never use them. I did once-- a waitress was like, "is that your real hair???" and I came back with "no, I'm just holding it for someone." My tone wasn't snarky, I just said it mildly, but she got so offended and acted hurt-- "I was just asking you a question!!" and then my mom got one me for being "mean" -- again, no nasty or sarcastic tone, I simply said it in a neutral way-- and I've not had the stones to give anything but an honest, nicey-nicey response since because I was so surprised by her extreme reaction to a plain-though-not-overly-friendly statement. Maybe I should just always fall back on, "I can't talk about it." They'll be puzzled, but probably not offended.)
I don't get unwanted touching (male privilege)...permission almost always requested. I probably get more questions about the hairstick (currently an aluminum nail, but sometimes a stainless chopstick) which usually results in a bun demo.

The real negative comments are vanishingly rare (given I was a public bus driver), maybe half a dozen total. Almost all of which centered around my sex or sexuality (in my eyes, if you play that card you better be ready for 125% snark)[1] The person who wouldn't let go of the inappropriateness for an transit operator was put off the vehicle along with heckling from other passengers.

The vast majority of the comments are positive, cluelessly[2] positive, or neutral statements that might be intended negatively...I found that the easiest thing was to respond with a Thank You or something positive...that worked fine for the positive and the clueless, and messed with the negatives better than engaging would. The double takes and head turning, well, I don't have to respond to that, other than maybe a little hair toss or shake.

Oh, and catcalling, until I turn and wave...

[1] "Well, it's a good thing you aren't my target audience!" "Well, dang! That'd make it easier to get laid in this city!" "Really?, the pretty women don't have that problem!" [telling if I am boy or girl] "When was the last time you saw a long haired gay boy?", and of course, the regular rider who always had a dig to share when he boarded-he objected to the sparkly barrettes I often wore, so I went down to Chinatown and got a gaudy barrette completely covered with white rhinestones and showed it to him when he boarded "I got this Just For You!", he said "I'm never riding your bus again" turned around and got off...and never did!

[2] Clueless for the class of comments like "Your hair is long!"

[LadyArwen]

Usually people are pretty positive about it in public. I was at the checkout counter at at store and the man told me his daughters had hair like mine, they were pentecostal. I thought it was sweet. I was at David's bridal trying on bridesmaid gowns and the lady was laughing because my hair was everywhere...we both found humor in the moment. At church people are kind of in awe of it because it is longer than what they are used to. I sometimes struggle still with feeling self conscious, but when I look at pictures of beautiful long hair...I am inspired. You do you! So many of my friends just want me to be happy and think the long hair just works! Honestly your hair doesn't matter as much as your smile and eyes :)

[miyeena]

I do not have very long hair, but longer than usual in my hometown.. I do frequently get stares and comments, but usually good-hearted.

[Aunt Rapunzel]

I've been very blessed with positive experiences for the most part. The one negative was just that I was getting some attention that I was VERY uncomfortable with from a man I didn't know. He'd come up behind me at the store and start to touch my hair. I'm NOT a very confrontational person, and I'm very introverted, so it's hard for me to speak up sometimes. (Except to speak up for others. I can do that just fine!) So I started to wear my hair in a bun whenever I went to the store. I haven't seen that creeper in a long time. But that was the only negative experience.

[dagny]

It makes me sad to read of all the negative encounters people have had due to hair length.

But, I will tell you, I am a reformed "extreme hair length" disliker and, yes, I at one time I would have been one of those women who rolled their eyes or made yucky faces when I saw long hair. (don't hate me!) But NOT ANY MORE!

Back then any hair longer than TB length made me cringe, no matter how healthy (unless it was on a supermodel for a photoshoot). The reason is because seeing the hair around someones bottom made me (subconsciously) think about the hair being "dirty" due to coming into contact with the bottom/dirty chairs/toilet/fecal material/whatever. The hair could be drop-dead gorgeous, but the issue was that it was around the "private parts", so that's what made it "gross"! My own mother grew her hair to her knees, and I disliked it for that same reason.

Obviously, people with long hair are not using it for toilet paper! But, this may be the subconscious thought that many, many people have -- which is why they, also, react the same way that I used to.

Thankfully, after seeing all of the beautiful long hair on TLHC and realizing my error, I have been converted and am determined to grow my own hair to knees (my sons are begging me) and perhaps even terminal. Once my hair hits TB, I will most likely wear it up when I am out in public or wear it in styles that shorten the overall length so it only appears to be around waist length. I'd hate for someone to think that I use MY hair for toilet paper! :p

[gossamer]

It makes me sad to read of all the negative encounters people have had due to hair length.

But, I will tell you, I am a reformed "extreme hair length" disliker and, yes, I at one time I would have been one of those women who rolled their eyes or made yucky faces when I saw long hair. (don't hate me!) But NOT ANY MORE!

Back then any hair longer than TB length made me cringe, no matter how healthy (unless it was on a supermodel for a photoshoot). The reason is because seeing the hair around someones bottom made me (subconsciously) think about the hair being "dirty" due to coming into contact with the bottom/dirty chairs/toilet/fecal material/whatever. The hair could be drop-dead gorgeous, but the issue was that it was around the "private parts", so that's what made it "gross"! My own mother grew her hair to her knees, and I disliked it for that same reason.

Obviously, people with long hair are not using it for toilet paper! But, this may be the subconscious thought that many, many people have -- which is why they, also, react the same way that I used to.

Thankfully, after seeing all of the beautiful long hair on TLHC and realizing my error, I have been converted and am determined to grow my own hair to knees (my sons are begging me) and perhaps even terminal. Once my hair hits TB, I will most likely wear it up when I am out in public or wear it in styles that shorten the overall length so it only appears to be around waist length. I'd hate for someone to think that I use MY hair for toilet paper! :p

Once, I posted about my hair on a non-LHC site and some dude asked me how I dealt with remembering not to pee on it every time I went to the bathroom. I asked him if he had trouble remembering to take his pants off before using the toilet. Because if he could remember not to poo his pants on a regular basis, then certainly I could probably remember to move my hair out of the way before using the bathroom....

[esfand]

I garner attention if I have my hair down, but not if it's bunned up or braided. Once my hair is down, that is when people go "omg I didn't know your hair was that long!"

People usually like it. I noticed that other long haired women approach me and seem more open, however.

[MusicalSpoons]

Once, I posted about my hair on a non-LHC site and some dude asked me how I dealt with remembering not to pee on it every time I went to the bathroom. I asked him if he had trouble remembering to take his pants off before using the toilet. Because if he could remember not to poo his pants on a regular basis, then certainly I could probably remember to move my hair out of the way before using the bathroom....

Perfect response!

[Ylva]

I feel that if I wear my hair down, some people (like some of my boyfriend's extended family, who in general are very nice people) take it as an invitation to comment on it being thin and to tell me how thick my boyfriend's hair is (yes, he has coarse hair, I know!) as if that was some kind of a bad-good meter. Just makes me a bit disappointed, because they are supposed to be people I can feel comfortable around, but instead, I feel like I need to keep my guard up even there. And it's not like I don't feel that way enough as it is. Not a public place experience, but anyway, just popped up in my mind.

I guess I shouldn't take it too personally. I mean, last time I saw them, they also told me I wasn't as thin as I was the previous time they saw me. :rolleyes:

[cjk]

I'm buying a wedding ring, hopefully it'll cut down on the unwanted attention.

Since growing the beard, losing weight, and letting my hair grow I get more attention than ever before. Good, bad, and often unwanted.

[priinnz]

I feel that if I wear my hair down, some people (like some of my boyfriend's extended family, who in general are very nice people) take it as an invitation to comment on it being thin and to tell me how thick my boyfriend's hair is (yes, he has coarse hair, I know!) as if that was some kind of a bad-good meter. Just makes me a bit disappointed, because they are supposed to be people I can feel comfortable around, but instead, I feel like I need to keep my guard up even there. And it's not like I don't feel that way enough as it is. Not a public place experience, but anyway, just popped up in my mind.

I guess I shouldn't take it too personally. I mean, last time I saw them, they also told me I wasn't as thin as I was the previous time they saw me. :rolleyes:

Seems like they enjoy putting you in a spot. Ignore it. You and your hair are beautiful

[priinnz]

This thread is an interesting read. My hair is nothing so remarkable as to get compliments or anything from strangers.

But I am often the one who is complimenting other people. If I think someone has beautiful hair I let them know ( not complete strangers though) ... I always thought it was a good way to spread positivity and make someone’s day a bit nicer.

I don’t understand the thought process behind negative comments on long hair. I wonder if it is disguised envy?