Being content with what you have

[Kattt]

So, I am learning to be content with what I have, in terms of hair. When I was younger, I wished I had wavy hair, the kind that would ripple into shiny waves down my back (like a fairytale princess!) instead of my actual rather straight hair. I've come to terms with my hair type, and actually rather like it now, but now I'm struggling with it's thickness. It's a solid 2.25 inches in diameter, so not the thinnest, but not all that thick either. I see people with thick braids, fat buns (ahem :lol:), and I find myself feeling discontented when I see my tiny braid, and a slight bit worried it won't look as good long due to how thin it is.
I figured you guys would relate to this, and have probably had struggles of your own. Ultimately, we're kinda stuck with what we've got for the most part, and might as well learn to love it as it is! :tongue:

[Laura1986]

Fine hair can be beautiful just as well as any other hairtype :)
For example, this video shows how fine hair can become really long and be beautiful as well, and it does it really well. It inspires me also to grow it even longer than what I planned for.. https://youtu.be/l5GGpYzJW_A

[Kattt]

You're right, that is very beautiful long hair, even though it's quite fine and thin (like mine)! Thanks for showing it to me. I had been watching her other videos earlier, and was a little disheartened at how thin my hair was compared to hers, but comparison rarely ever does anyone good. :)

[GrowlingCupcake]

My hair is not as thin as yours (3 inches last I checked, but I think I had another shed so I'm putting off checking this year) but I know what you mean; I wish my hair was thick, and wavier. It's hard when there are so many beautiful heads of hair here. This thread might help: https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=146590

Just remember, your head of hair might be thin/insufficient for you, but we'll think it's beautiful :) :blossom:

[Kattt]

Just remember, your head of hair might be thin/insufficient for you, but we'll think it's beautiful :) :blossom:

Thanks! I followed that thread, it will be very useful if I'm feeling down about it!

[Lady Stardust]

I used to wish that I had wavy or curly hair with lots of volume - it didn’t help that I grew up in the 1970s and 80s when perms and volume were everywhere.

I eventually learned to love my sleek, straight, shiny hair and not to expect anything different from it. However I discovered last year that some of it is actually wavy, there used to be a hint of it when it was layered, but pregnancy must have been the catalyst because it’s determined to wave now. The canopy is straighter though, so I have a choice of how I wear it.

It made me realise how much I really do love my hair when it’s straight, and it’s not just something I talked myself into. It doesn’t go completely straight even after brushing but if I’m missing that look, I can get there without too much hassle.

I don’t mind having little buns(!) at all. Plaits/braids though - I am self conscious about that. Also styles that need hair to be divided into sections - I don’t have enough of it. I never did, even at school, I remember wondering why I couldn’t do some styles. The thing is there are plenty of styles that I do like that bear no relation to thickness, so I just plan to go with those - when my hair is long enough!

This was a good idea for a thread :)

[Stray_mind]

When i had 3.14 inches ponytail circumference, i wished for more thickness. Now, after my stress related shedding, i only have 2,7 circumference and i wish i had my 3.14 circumference....

Moral of the story, be happy with what you have until you Have it. :)

I really came to appreciate my natural hair color and thickness though. I think as long as your hair is healthy, it will be beautiful no matter the thickness/texture and color.

[Danglish]

I know the feeling. Sometimes I see a bun on here,(!!) and realise that my hair would never look the same even if I put it up in the same way

One thing that helped for me, was to observe the hair of those around me, and the hair of those I look up to, or think are beautiful. I bet if you did the same, you'd soon find locks just like yours that you think are gorgeous, simply because they belong to someone else. I even hung a picture on one of my mood boards of someone with the same type of hair as me,(actually, hair like that was always my ideal - I just didn't know I had it) just to remind myself of why I'm already satisfied with what I've got

[milosmomma]

I had very thick hair as a child and a beefy braid that would always spur comments from family members and strangers. It always made me uncomfortable then but now since having 2 pregnancies I fall into the normal range and wish I appreciated the nice comments then! Lol I also always wanted big curly 3c hair and to fill that itch I will do some bantu knots and give myself a nice big poof. Braid waves would probably be enough to give the op the cascade of ripples they mentioned.

[Natashap]

Thats very important for length,as when i get frustrated I get hair cut...lol

[blackgothicdoll]

So relatable. I've always wanted straight hair, or maybe even wavy, or curly - basically anything but my own hair type. And technically, all wants can be achieved with chemical processing, but I had relaxers when I was younger and my hair eventually began to suffer once I started doing it myself. The moment I got a kink it was time for another relaxer. Man by the time I was done it was FRIED.

Anyhow, I try to think of the positives (still working on that) and just appreciate my hair for what it is. Take care of it, nurture it, and let it grow into something loveable. But yes you are totally right, and it is sooo hard (especially here, with all these gorgeous heads of hair to drool over!), but that is a terrific mentality. :)

Great topic!!!

[lapushka]

So, I am learning to be content with what I have, in terms of hair. When I was younger, I wished I had wavy hair, the kind that would ripple into shiny waves down my back (like a fairytale princess!) instead of my actual rather straight hair. I've come to terms with my hair type, and actually rather like it now, but now I'm struggling with it's thickness. It's a solid 2.25 inches in diameter, so not the thinnest, but not all that thick either. I see people with thick braids, fat buns (ahem :lol:), and I find myself feeling discontented when I see my tiny braid, and a slight bit worried it won't look as good long due to how thin it is.
I figured you guys would relate to this, and have probably had struggles of your own. Ultimately, we're kinda stuck with what we've got for the most part, and might as well learn to love it as it is! :tongue:

Ever since doing my washing method every week, I have kind of "settled" into my hair as well. I accept that it is wavy now, instead of downright curly (3b).

It's been a while for me, but I understand how "new" it is and can be for someone who has just accepted their texture.

Congrats, BTW! :flower:

My mom has i hair (after pregnancy it never grew back like it was, and after menopause it diminished as well). She used to be ii, and average. So she has had to deal with that as well. And it's not easy for her to see that I have thick hair. You have "good hair", she often says, but... what the heck is "good hair" anyway. I have my share of issues, and since she is now doing my washing with me (I am disabled), she has often said, OMG it is too thick really, because it's a PITA to get it washed. LOL! :lol:

Every kind of hair comes with its own pros and cons. :)

[Cg]

.... what the heck is "good hair" anyway.

And the answer is: whatever hair is yours. All healthy hair has its own special beauty.

[Pantha]

My hair is pretty average in thickness, and I know people with thicker and much thinner hair. I sometimes think my hair is thin when I've spent time looking at YouTube videos or Instagram photos particularly form LHCers as their hair is normally very well looked after and healthy. Looking around in an average setting I realise my hair is probably above average in terms of its health and for that I am happy and grateful.

[Cate36]

Ever since doing my washing method every week, I have kind of "settled" into my hair as well. I accept that it is wavy now, instead of downright curly (3b).

It's been a while for me, but I understand how "new" it is and can be for someone who has just accepted their texture.

Congrats, BTW! :flower:

My mom has i hair (after pregnancy it never grew back like it was, and after menopause it diminished as well). She used to be ii, and average. So she has had to deal with that as well. And it's not easy for her to see that I have thick hair. You have "good hair", she often says, but... what the heck is "good hair" anyway. I have my share of issues, and since she is now doing my washing with me (I am disabled), she has often said, OMG it is too thick really, because it's a PITA to get it washed. LOL! :lol:

Every kind of hair comes with its own pros and cons. :)

Your hair is stunning Lapushka!

[lapushka]

Your hair is stunning Lapushka!

Aw, thank you so much, Cate! :)

[sophia_]

I've always wanted thicker and wavier hair, or hair that would cooperate more with styles, or hair that I didn't have to wash as often, or wasn't so easily damaged. Thinking back to a few years ago, when my hair was much thinner than it is due to a combination of breakage, layers, and bad habits, I wanted the hair I have today, and the "wanting more" just keeps snowballing. When my hair got thicker, I couldn't appreciate it because there are others still with thicker hair, which I acknowledge is ridiculous because there's always someone that has it better (unless you're Aliia, lol). But I have become more content with it as it became healthier.

[Dark40]

I know the feeling. I remember when I was a kid I've always wanted pin-straight thick hair. Now, I have appreciated my natural hair texture even though I get it chemically straightened 3 or 4 times a year. Don't get me wrong, I will always love my curly thick hair but I prefer to have it chemically straightened.

[Simsy]

I used to hate my curls; mainly because no one knew how to care for them. Mum and I both acted like my tight ringlets were just disobedient waves; simply because that’s what everyone thought we were dealing with. Then the was the larger problem of my reading material. Princesses and heroines from books always had long, slightly wavy hair that didn’t tangle or boof out like mine. I used to dream of “obedient” waves that flowed prettily and didn’t tangle if you looked at it wrong. I wished endlessly for “nice” hair that looked like everyone else’s hair; I was 11 and dealing with teenagers for the first time, I wasn’t coping terribly well.

Realising what your hair actually is, is a major step to learning to kinda like it. My moment wasn’t until well after high school when I had almost come to terms with wild hair that didn’t do as it was told. I stumbled onto a website where one line mentioned curly hair being naturally dry. Cue a quick experiment in the shower with allowing the conditioner to soak for 10 mins. Boom, happier curls; lightbulb moment.

A few years later, I ran across a thread here about not using a hairbrush on curls because it breaks up the curl and makes them poof out. I trialed it that night and my grandmother nearly fainted when I told her I wasn’t brushing my hair any more. Happier curls, less wild madness, and I suddenly had what looked like an actual style. Boom, second lightbulb moment, I don’t have disobedient hair; I have cranky hair.

If you can be content with what you have, you’ve won half the battle already. Colour, curliness, length at the time; it all counts. Some things you can change, some things you can’t, some things you shouldn’t change; and sometimes it really pays to know the difference and pick your battles.

[Katsura]

I can relate, I could have written the same. In my country I feel there's a lot of criticism against long hair. If your hair is long it needs to be thick, otherwise it is a "mouse's tail" and there's no point in having it long. So if you've got a long hair you know there'll be that criticism going on when people look at it, and it makes you self-conscious about your hair too.

If you can pass the thickness-exam, the next thing under inspection is weather your hair is in perfect condition, and if it isn't you're a violation again. :D I had a hair dresser say to me once, when I agreed to cut my hair shorter as she suggested, sort of a critic tone "cause you know, your hair is not in that good condition"

[lapushka]

I can relate, I could have written the same. In my country I feel there's a lot of criticism against long hair. If your hair is long it needs to be thick, otherwise it is a "mouse's tail" and there's no point in having it long. So if you've got a long hair you know there'll be that criticism going on when people look at it, and it makes you self-conscious about your hair too.

If you can pass the thickness-exam, the next thing under inspection is weather your hair is in perfect condition, and if it isn't you're a violation again. :D I had a hair dresser say to me once, when I agreed to cut my hair shorter as she suggested, sort of a critic tone "cause you know, your hair is not in that good condition"

Ugh, some hairdressers can be brutal! I'm glad you're paying them no mind, and doing what you want! :)

[Hairkay]

I always loved curls though there was a time when I wanted looser curls as a teen and I wished my hair was not so thick. I wanted it to be be able to brush down sleek but still curl right up when fluffed out. My hair didn't create a full round afro but didn't lie down either. Those were my ideal hair wishes. Now I am happy with how my hair is. The middle will brush down to little wavelets but the hairline will always be super frizzie wisps. I think that's cute now. My hair thickness seems to have changed. Now that it's longer it's hanging more than sticking out and over a year ago the docs said there was a problem with my thyroid. It seems to have improved but it's now I am seeing a difference with my hair. My hair isn't thin, just a little less thicker than it used to be.

[Katsura]

Ugh, some hairdressers can be brutal! I'm glad you're paying them no mind, and doing what you want! :)

There's the age aspect too I did not even mention. But yes, we should do as we want. It's crazy how emotional people can get about someone else's appearence.

[lithostoic]

I've always wanted tight rippling waves that curl at the ends. And for my hair to be thicker. Slowly trying to accept my straightish wavyish hair which is far from thick.

[cjk]

When I kept my hair in a pompadour it took that shape naturally. Deep waves on the bangs, even, it was beautiful.

But I hated my excess volume.

In fact I would wash my hair, dry it, and keep it smashed under a hat to reduce the volume. I'm the only person I've ever met who actually wanted hat hair.

Since embracing my texture, I wish I had MORE volume on top! The higher the hair, the closer to God!

[Tinyponies]

I went through a big shed this year after bereavement stress and surgery. Coming to a place of peace with what is has been part of my healing process.
Talking with a friend last night I realised that I don’t really know what my natural long hair is like, I don’t know what it will become like past bsl. Always it has been trimmed or cut or blow dried or something.
I feel that real acceptance is s process, like a friendship you can build up with yourself. It takes time but then you can build on it and the love will grow.

[MusicalSpoons]

I always wanted curly hair; I once did multiple french plaits to get waves but brushed my hair before going to school ... :doh: :oops: I've also wanted it to be lighter blonde for a long time, since adolescence.

Coming to LHC I started out wanting thicker hair; I think my ideal would be upper end of ii or just about iii, but I am now content with what I have. It's fairly low-maintenance, I can use regular-sized hairtoys, and it even has some volume if I ever wanted to wear it loose(r). I don't have the energy for braids most of the time and if I do, I put them up anyway so it's not too bothersome that my hair compresses so much and looks pathetic in braids :lol: The only thing is that I doubt a crochet braid will look any good or hold together too well, but that's a small price to pay for all the other conveniences of thinner/compressible hair.

I *would* like what thickness I have to be longer, rather than natural taper starting where it does, but again I've accepted that it is what it is and I'm grateful that it brushes out not to look terrible anyway :o

[Cate36]

I've never wanted different hair until last year, when I decided I wanted it to go red again... I learnt the lesson of not accepting... I have seen so many beautiful heads of hair on this forum.. you are all gorgeous.. just stunning wonderful people. X

[PixieNixie]

I understand this feeling. I have wavyish hair, but not pretty wavy hair. It is just the kind that looks like a frizzy unruly mess if I dont use leave ins and such. I prefer the slick, smoothness of type 1 hair or at least the defined prettiness of type 3. My hair used to be thicker as well, but due to age and bleaching, it isnt as thick as it used to be. I used to straighten my hair everyday. I stopped trying to fight my hair and am learning to work with it.

[Knightly]

Sadly, I've never been happy with my hair...
A couple years ago my hair became darker and wavy and at that time I hated waves so I chopped it off in order to get it back at straight, and it worked. But now I regret it because I'm starting to like waves 😒 i know, so dumb...
And now, after going through a massive shed, looking back a couple years ago, my hair was so thick, had lots of it and it was so voluminous and back then I thought my hair was so thin! Oh gosh I'd do anything to get my hair like it used to be!
It's like how they say, you never know what you have until you lose it!

[Michiru]

I want my current color with the thickness that henna gives me. :rolleyes:

[Cate36]

I want my current color with the thickness that henna gives me. :rolleyes:

Been there.. cassia is the only thing that comes close I guess.. but not as good as henna...

[UP Lisa]

I spent most of my life hating my hair because it was baby fine and not very thick. I also always thought it was straight, so I was happy to find out that it was actually wavy. I still struggle with my hair, but I have learned to like it more than I used to.

[Khristopher]

That's great Kattt! I found I'm quite content with what I have as well, tough.... it's kind of a duality, where I'm happy how my hair is, but my hair is not the way I would like to be :p my ideal hair would be any shade of red, very straight and with blunt thick ends, and in reality mine is a very dark auburn/brown, kind of textured towards waves but still straight, and my ends are thin. Funny thing is, if I had a standard hair routine, my ideal hair would be possible with box dye, an iron and cutting to waist or even hip. I'm not doing any of that any time soon, so my hair is the best it can be and my conscience is at peace lol. Being at my goal lenght is helpful to being content too.