People touching your hair

[Michiru]

I feel like I'm in the minority here my I've always loved people coming up and petting my hair. I don't like being touched in general but having someone come up and touch my hair is a treat. As a kid adults would touch my hair and tell me how pretty it was. When we would sit on the floor in front of the teacher normally the girls would pair up and finger comb each others hair and I always made sure I was the one on the receiving end. In 4th grade I moved from the mid west to the east coast (a much more diverse area) and learned other girls don't like their hair touched. But I still like it when someone touches it. Is anyone else the same? Maybe it's a regional thing?

[AmaryllisRed]

I don't want strangers to touch my hair.
But I wish people I knew would touch it more often! My husband almost never does. My aunt will occasionally-- like if she walks up behind me she'll gently tug my braid to say hello or something.
One of my favorite memories of my older daughter is when she was maybe a year old. It was late and my hair was still wet from being washed. She sat behind me on the couch and was just playing with my hair. It was so sweet.

That said, if my hair is in a style-- bunned or French braided or something where it's smooth on top-- I don't care who you are, do not touch the top of my head!

[SwanFeathers]

I think it depends on the person's history as well as personality and local cultural influences. I'm affectionately tactile with those very close to me (very close; siblings dont even count) but due to past experience, the rest of the world needs to stay at least 5ft away at all times. I think it would be nice to have somone you can trust brush your hair, as long as they are gentle and respectful.

[Ylva]

I'm very moody about people touching my hair. They often don't, because I come from a very low contact culture where people hardly touch each other, especially strangers. But I do experience an ASMR-like feeling from people touching my hair, even strangers, if they know how to handle hair. I'm a bit sexist about this, I much prefer female touch to male when it comes to my hair/scalp, but of course I like it when my boyfriend does it.

[Michiru]

Ylva, That makes since. Now that I think about it it's only been women who've come up and touched my hair. I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with a strange man doing the same.

[GrowlingCupcake]

With the exception of my spouse, I do not like people touching my hair. I used to snap at my mother when she tried to when I was a child (and even older).

I also do not like being touched in general, and I do tend to be a biter xD

[MusicalSpoons]

You may be interested in these threads:
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=94975
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=143030
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=70038

Personally, I'm very tactile, to the point where I've had to consciously learn that not everyone is and to respect when they don't want a hug. But my head and hair have always been pretty much out of bounds since I can remember - I had a friend who always wanted to do my hair and wanted me to do hers, and I never enjoyed it. Even when I used to have an annual 'trim' (cough6inchescough) with a hairdresser whom I trust, I preferred to brush it myself and only really put up with her touching my hair because it was necessary!

My feelings might change if I find myself in a relationship with a potential husband, and a scene in a TV show melted my heart when the guy was just absentmindedly twirling the girl's hair so I don't know ... but generally there's no reason for anyone in my life to touch my hair because it's always bunned.

Oh! Actually, thinking about it, I recently had to wear it in a ponytail and I had a few people touch it; I was more concerned by trying to deal with the attention than them touching my hair! They were all part of my congregation who are basically family and I didn't mind one bit. If they'd played with it though it would have been different ... I think that's a sensory thing more than an actual 'touching my hair'-specific thing. Yes, that's the difference. A short burst of firm or intentional contact is much easier to process than a prolonged, light touch, ugh shudder:
(Maybe I wouldn't want a potential husband playing with my hair then :-()

[AmaryllisRed]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I love having a hairdresser touch my hair!
The washing and conditioning and then combing out and if they style it after cutting it... I love that.
That's one thing I miss about not going to hair salons!
I guess I could pay them to wash and style my hair and not cut it. I've only ever done that for prom.
I do enjoy the sensation of finger combing my hair, too, and will do it in the evenings as sort of a self-soothing thing.
That sounds kind of weird now that I type it out.

[Obsidian]

Nope, I hate. Doesn't matter who it is, I don't like it when people touch my hair or head in general.

[embee]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I love having a hairdresser touch my hair!
The washing and conditioning and then combing out and if they style it after cutting it... I love that.
That's one thing I miss about not going to hair salons!

Heh heh heh. That's one big reason I am so happy to have grown out my hair and *never* need to go through all that ritual again! I *hated* it.

Must go back to early childhood. My mom was a person who loved to play with dolls. When I was little, I was her doll. Many an hour I had to sit still while she combed and made finger curls of my thin stick straight hair, and then I had to sit still while the stupid things dried.

Then there were the awful salon perms when I was bigger, like 11 or so. :( Ghastly. Hours with stinking chemicals poured on and then in hot electric clamps to cook the perm. Noooooooo.

[spidermom]

I don't care one way or the other. I do enjoy it most of the time when my DGD4 wants to comb or brush my hair for me, and I enjoy the salon experience, especially the head massage while washing it. My stylist is so good at that! Strangers have never seem inclined to stroke my hair, even when it was classic length, although it happened a couple of times. I don't seem to crave touch, though. If nobody touches my hair or my head for a long period of time, it's fine.

[Michiru]

Heh heh heh. That's one big reason I am so happy to have grown out my hair and *never* need to go through all that ritual again! I *hated* it.

Must go back to early childhood. My mom was a person who loved to play with dolls. When I was little, I was her doll. Many an hour I had to sit still while she combed and made finger curls of my thin stick straight hair, and then I had to sit still while the stupid things dried.

Then there were the awful salon perms when I was bigger, like 11 or so. :( Ghastly. Hours with stinking chemicals poured on and then in hot electric clamps to cook the perm. Noooooooo.

Interesting! I was my mom's doll too but I enjoyed it. My mom even sewed my dresses so she measured me. I liked all of it. She called me her barbie.

[MusicalSpoons]

I do enjoy the sensation of finger combing my hair, too, and will do it in the evenings as sort of a self-soothing thing.
That sounds kind of weird now that I type it out.

Ha, I used to stroke/fingercomb my ponytail all the time - my Mum used to ask if it had starting purring yet :lol: (I think it was a kind of stimming, which now I'm a lot less anxious I don't find myself doing very often in any way.)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I like it when people touch my hair. As long as they don't pull it.

[blackgothicdoll]

No, absolutely not. I find hair touching an extremely intimate thing, so only some very close to me (usually romantically) can touch my hair and I would enjoy it. Other people touching my hair just cram their filthy fingers in it, mess it all up, comment that it feels oily (well then, you shouldn't have touched it without my permission, huh?) or just be far too rough.

People don't often come up to me trying to touch my hair anyway in my adult life, especially since my hair is always up, so this hasn't really been a problem for me. The thought does make my skin crawl, though.

[Alibran]

There's only one person in the world who is allowed to touch my hair. The thought of strangers touching it makes me shudder. (I put a lot of time and energy into figuring out hairstyles that kept it out of reach when I worked with the public because so many people tried to touch it.)

It's definitely a 'personal space' thing rather than concern about damage because I don't make much effort to stop my cats playing with it.

[ArabellaRose]

I wouldn't want just anyone touching my hair. My 6 year old is forbidden because he likes to mash my ends against the palms of his hand! I would only ever allow a partner or a close friend to play with my hair, infact I encourage it from any partners because I find it incredibly relaxing and soothing.

[HaMalka]

I do not like people touching my hair. I make allowances for hairdressers and small children with clean hands who ask permission. Despite my aversion to having my hair touched I like playing with other peoples hair. A friend of mine enjoys having her hair played with so I get to play with her hair frequently. Another likes the look of braids but hasn't mastered any beyond an ordinary three strand and so lets me do her hair from time to time. Most people I know do not have as strong an aversion to having their hair touched as I do but most do not like it when strangers touch their hair of if anyone touches their hair without explicit permission.

[Joules]

No! No no no!

Ok, I do like when someone touches my hair. It relaxes me and I get the tingles. It's the only reason I miss going to the hairdresser's. However, I'm extremely squeamish and protective of my hair, so the person who wants to touch it has to 100% know how to handle long hair, have no malicious intent, and wash their hands with antibacterial soap beforehand. If even one requirement isn't met, I'd turn into Hulk.

[Jas]

Oh I don't mind it! Lucky too, had people just come up and touch it and one person I kind of knew come up and start French braiding without saying anything to me lol.
I didn't mind though - feels nice to have someone do you hair for you. Part of why I loved going to salons!

[littlestarface]

I just had someone ask if they can touch my hair, it was very weird.

[JennGalt]

I hate it. It’s a personal space issue, a frizz hazard, and a tangling issue. You may touch my hair only if you are willing to lose an arm.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I hate it. It’s a personal space issue, a frizz hazard, and a tangling issue. You may touch my hair only if you are willing to lose an arm.

What if it was an LHCer asking?

[Cate36]

In don't let anyone touch my hair at the moment.. never use to worry about it at all.. now I'm paranoid a strand will fall, they will cause breakage.. it's horrible.. I wish I could just let it all go.. :(

[JennGalt]

It would probably depend on the reason, the LHCer, and might still take some convincing. I have a mild case of Asperger’s syndrome and have a strong aversion to people touching me. If it was a newbie who had always had relatively short, straight hair and who never really ever had to deal with tangling, it’d probably be a pretty firm but polite no unless my hair was hopelessly caught in something awful. Why do you ask, SarahLabyrinth?

[Gisela]

I quite like having my hair petted, provided the person is being gentle. That said, I don't let just anyone touch my hair precisely because I don't know how gentle they'll be with it.

[AmaryllisRed]

As I'm sitting here reading this thread at the library my 6yo just came up and made a crocodile puppet attack my head. The plastic teeth got all in my hair.

No just no.

[Kathie]

People who know me know I'm not a touchy person. Hugs are a little awkward for me. So, Im not comfortable with people touching my hair (hairdressers exempt). No one has asked either... I think I put out a no touching vibe shudder:

[Missymo]

I really don't like it. As my hair is fine and extremely catchy when people try brushing my hair for my or styling it it causes a lot of breakage as a lot of the time they are not gentle and try tearing through my hair with the brush, forgetting to start at the bottom and work their way up holding the hair above where their brushing to avoid tugging.
So now the unofficial rule for my hair is, nobody in my family is allowed to touch my hair, excepting my mum when she trims it. But for my siblings it is a complete no no and woe betide them if they do.

[Sid0rela]

I hate it, except when I wanna show off how soft it is lol. JK
I feel like touching will make my hair oily and it’s oily enough on its own, so yeah. No.

[Larke]

I am the least touchy-feely person on the planet (I don't even hug my best friend), but I actually love my hair being touched. Obviously, it's kinda weird if it's a stranger asking, but that's never happened to me! I love having people play with my hair, style it, etc. It feels really nice. Plus I'm also that person who always wants to touch other people's hair, provided it's clean. :P

[embee]

Interesting! I was my mom's doll too but I enjoyed it. My mom even sewed my dresses so she measured me. I liked all of it. She called me her barbie.

My mom loved to sew my clothing also. Some of the things she made were charming.

Unfortunately for both of us, I was a tomboy and wanted to ride my bike, climb trees, play in the creek, make mudpies. I hated sitting around in pretty dresses with my hair all just-so. She gave me dolls to play with but I wanted teddybears. We were poorly matched! ;) Both of us loved reading, though. :)

[Natalia_A00]

I like it when people do it as an affectionate gesture or to admire my hair. But I absolutely hair when my mother tries to touch it to fix it lol

[Vacurlylady]

The only person to touch my hair since I’ve been growing it out is a fellow curly coworker. She can’t believe how thick it is and touches it without permission. She’s so hard when she tugs at it to show me how to style it and all I can think about is “my goodness, I feel bad for her poor daughter”. Because her daughter has pretty long curls and she does her hair. My hubby doesn’t touch it, so no one else really in my life does. I’m kinda glad....

[lithostoic]

If I don't know you well, touching my hair is asking to be smacked. I always hated in school when my teachers would try to put their hand on my shoulder.

[trolleypup]

Sure, as long as they are respectful.

[unicourtney]

As long as they're is not being creepy about it, I like it when people touch my hair. Absolutely love going to the salon and having my colorist wash my hair, too.

[Michiru]

It would probably depend on the reason, the LHCer, and might still take some convincing. I have a mild case of Asperger’s syndrome and have a strong aversion to people touching me. If it was a newbie who had always had relatively short, straight hair and who never really ever had to deal with tangling, it’d probably be a pretty firm but polite no unless my hair was hopelessly caught in something awful. Why do you ask, SarahLabyrinth?

I also have Aspergers / high functioning autism . The main problem I have with being touched is that I don't know what to do back. I'm ok if they just want to hug but most people expect me to do some gesture in return. I'm a lot like a cat. You can pet me but don't expect affection in return.

[Sora Rose]

I've only had one person randomly touch my hair before, and it was an elderly woman who was just doing so to admire it. Although I didn't mind in her case (but I was in a very good mood at the time), I'm normally very uncomfortable with the idea and couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't strike out. So no, in general I don't like people touching my hair. Or anywhere, really.

[pailin]

As long as it's someone I'm comfortable with, I love having people play with my hair, and I'm with AmaryllisRed, I wish for more of it. It feels good, and it can be really relaxing as long as they're gentle.
I like head massages too, and one thing I miss about going to a hair salon here is that you always get a really nice massage when they wash your hair here. But I don't dare anymore, because they'll be so rough with the detangling (and they'll want to straighten it), and I think my hair is a little much for the sinks.

[AmaryllisRed]

As long as it's someone I'm comfortable with, I love having people play with my hair, and I'm with AmaryllisRed, I wish for more of it. It feels good, and it can be really relaxing as long as they're gentle.
I like head massages too, and one thing I miss about going to a hair salon here is that you always get a really nice massage when they wash your hair here. But I don't dare anymore, because they'll be so rough with the detangling (and they'll want to straighten it), and I think my hair is a little much for the sinks.

That brings up an interesting question.
How long is too long to have a shampoo at a salon? Those sinks are probably smaller than my bathroom sink. Not that I wash my hair in my bathroom sink, but I'm not sure I could.

[almostghost]

Oh heck no. I've always been averse to touching, even things that many people might find comforting, like a hand on the shoulder from a parent or loved one when I was young, or an affectionate caress from a SO. Such things are sometimes okay if I'm expecting them, but an unexpected touch, especially a light touch, is like pins and needles. Also, I've always had quite a sensitive scalp so having my hair touched by someone else can be pretty painful if they do it the wrong way.

I absolutely looooooove how it feels when I touch my hair though! In fact, I have to keep it bunned a lot or I just run my fingers through it all the time, but other people can't seem to do it right.

[Ylva]

I also have Aspergers / high functioning autism . The main problem I have with being touched is that I don't know what to do back. I'm ok if they just want to hug but most people expect me to do some gesture in return. I'm a lot like a cat. You can pet me but don't expect affection in return.

I'm also a potential suspect for high functioning autism and I can relate to your post a lot. I'm like that with a lot of other social interaction, too - I don't really know what kind of comments to make on a whim and just try to do/say something that I've seen someone else do/say, but mostly I just end up being really awkward.


That brings up an interesting question.
How long is too long to have a shampoo at a salon? Those sinks are probably smaller than my bathroom sink. Not that I wash my hair in my bathroom sink, but I'm not sure I could.

My hairdresser doesn't put all of my hair in the sink but lays it straight along the sink with some of my hair hanging over it.

[The-Young-Maid]

I LOVE when people touch my hair. Not strangers of course(which never happens anyway) but everyone else. My bf will give me a scalp massage and run his fingers through it. Girls at work will pet it or braid it. They don't usually ask but I really don't mind as long as they're not rough. If they are I just tell them to stop or I walk away. I don't care about it getting "dirty" since I wash it daily. It's definitely one of my asmr triggers.

I draw the line at hairdressers as I haven't been since 2013. Too much potential for damage and loss of length.

Didn't realize it was such an... issue for people. Thats sad. But I never really have to deal with tangles, frizz, or damage so I never thought it was a big deal. People just think my hair is pretty and their instinct is to touch it. I choose to take it as a compliment.

[Iku-Turso]

I just read all the posts in this thread, and this topic immediately made me think of my co-workers, who like to touch my hair, but only if it is curled. I don't like people touching my hair and I'm myself really bad for example at hugging anyone, and luckily, no one ever tries to touch my hair if it is in a hairdo or I keep it straight. I guess it looks too normal or boring that people don't even notice it.

I sometimes do different kinds of no-heat curls, and I'm always mentally prepared that on those days I have to be alert in the office and try to avoid those extra hands trying to pet my hair. This was even more common when I had classic length hair, but it still happens with this length. I guess it just surprises people, that you can have a very ordinary hair in an English braid one day, and the next day almost something like a "princess hair" (their words, not mine ;) ). Even if I can't escape, I still forgive them, because I know those office ladies, and they really mean no harm when they want to touch my hair. And in our line of work the hands are usually kept very clean. :)

For comparison:

"What, I don't even remember your hair color after a minute, why would I want to touch your hair?"
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=16281&d=1425661968

vs.

"Ooh, can I touch your hair please please please?"
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=35229&d=1548794113


But I still don't like it and my chosen method is just to try to run away if someone approaches my hair.

[BerrySara]

I just read all the posts in this thread, and this topic immediately made me think of my co-workers, who like to touch my hair, but only if it is curled. I don't like people touching my hair and I'm myself really bad for example at hugging anyone, and luckily, no one ever tries to touch my hair if it is in a hairdo or I keep it straight. I guess it looks too normal or boring that people don't even notice it.

I sometimes do different kinds of no-heat curls, and I'm always mentally prepared that on those days I have to be alert in the office and try to avoid those extra hands trying to pet my hair. This was even more common when I had classic length hair, but it still happens with this length. I guess it just surprises people, that you can have a very ordinary hair in an English braid one day, and the next day almost something like a "princess hair" (their words, not mine ;) ). Even if I can't escape, I still forgive them, because I know those office ladies, and they really mean no harm when they want to touch my hair. And in our line of work the hands are usually kept very clean. :)

But I still don't like it and my chosen method is just to try to run away if someone approaches my hair.

Lol this happened to me as well. I never had anyone ever approach me asking if they could touch my hair back when I kept it straight. Ever.

Now that it is curly, even though it by no means is of impressive length in any way, I constantly have friends and relatives touching it. I asked my best friend why she keeps grabbing it and she replied because it looks so fluffy. At first, it would really irritate me as I spent all day letting it air dry with no touching to avoid frizz and here they were disregarding all of that lol. But I have since then just decided to not care as much and just embrace a little frizz. But I will speak up if they go for it more than once.

[Knightly]

I like the feeling of people touching my hair but I hate the fact that the always accidentally snap off some hairs! Ugh! Dumb fine and fragile hair 😤

[PixieNixie]

Nope. I have issues. I dont like people touching my hair at all. I am the only one allowed to play with my hair.

[*Wednesday*]

I'm superstitious. People "touching" can transfer bad spirits or bad vibes. A person I don't know intimately has no reason. I view my hair as extension of myself.

[Dark40]

I also love it too when someone touches my hair. But I do have to agree with Yiva. I'd rather a woman more than a strange mean touch my hair. It is a treat when someone feels on your hair.

[Aerya]

My hair isn't long enough to attract attention, but a few days ago at the bus, a drunk guy pulled out my hairstick and acted all surprised when my hair fell down... Ugh. A couple of years ago I also had a guy braid my hair without my knowing, as my hair fell down the back of my seat. No!

My DBF likes touching my hair though. I don't mind that as long as he's careful. He gets to brush it sometimes too, but only after I've detangled carefully first (which I do not tell him I have, lol). My mum can also randomly reach out to inspect a strand and I don't mind at all. Basically as long as I know the person and they are being gentle (and not judgy) I like having my hair touched, and I love having it finger combed or braided if it's careful enough! But I am a bit jumpy to touch and I have a sensitive scalp, so I tend to tense up if people I don't trust to be gentle reach out for my hair.

[Edelweiss11]

I love it when people touch my hair! It gives me tingles and I find it very relaxing, but I don't let everyone do it (my hair is too short to attract attention anyway...). The only ones allowed to are my boyfriend and a few very close friends.

[Starchild494]

I love getting someone to brush my hair..... As long as they know how to do it right. Scalp massage yes please! But no one offers sadly :(

[DaniGirl]

My partner has recently acquired a thing since I started curly girl of touching my wurls. Especially when it’s in a buff and pineapple. I have one that likes to escape and it’s always the same one. He just sits there and plays with it, drives me crazy, especially as I don’t always notice right away if we’re cuddling on the sofa.

Come to think that is probably totally why my hair hissed at him in my dream the other night.

[Jadestorm]

I personally really don't like it, especially not by strangers. My hair is a part of me, so to me it *almost* feels the same as someone just coming up to me and touching my body. If someone is fascinated by my hair, they can just approach me, talk to me and during the conversation maybe ask if they can touch it. Very different than just randomly start touching. :confused:

[Groovy Granny]

I personally really don't like it, especially not by strangers. My hair is a part of me, so to me it *almost* feels the same as someone just coming up to me and touching my body. If someone is fascinated by my hair, they can just approach me, talk to me and during the conversation maybe ask if they can touch it. Very different than just randomly start touching. :confused:

I have watched so many of your videos .......(love them and your hair).....that I can HEAR your voice in your post :lol:

It hasn't happened, but I fear it will...and wonder how I would respond as I am not good at retorts ....and keep a boundary with strangers :hmm:

I'd be flattered if a relative asked though :o

[elfynity]

I don't like hugs, or anyone touching me, and even get overwhelmed and need my space, but I love other people playing with or holding my hair - I can't wait for it to be longer so that it will attract more attention and get more 'tugs'.

[meggg]

I love people touching my hair. It's a huge ASMR trigger for me. I'm even ok with strangers touching it, as long as I don't feel unsafe. My boss' boss did it once, a few years ago. Just petted my head, stroking down my ponytail while I was showing him a report on my computer. Was it super weird, a little creepy, and definitely sexual harassment? Yes. Did a part of me still like the feel of it? Also yes. :rolleyes:

When I was younger people would touch my hair fairly often, but it's different as an adult. And I know I give standoffy vibes, which doesn't help. My mom was the only person I felt comfortable asking to play with my hair, but since she passed away no one has really touched it except my hairdresser.

Maybe I should put it in the 'likes' section on my dating profile.:p

[FlowerDance]

I only want people that I like to touch my hair 😂

[Andirose111]

I feel like I'm in the minority here my I've always loved people coming up and petting my hair. I don't like being touched in general but having someone come up and touch my hair is a treat. As a kid adults would touch my hair and tell me how pretty it was. When we would sit on the floor in front of the teacher normally the girls would pair up and finger comb each others hair and I always made sure I was the one on the receiving end. In 4th grade I moved from the mid west to the east coast (a much more diverse area) and learned other girls don't like their hair touched. But I still like it when someone touches it. Is anyone else the same? Maybe it's a regional thing?

You're not the only one, I love it too!!! There's just something about someone touching your hair and complimenting on it that does a confidence boost for you!

[GreySelkie]

I haaaate it, well, I hate it about 95% of the time. It all boils down to consent, really. The hairdresser I used to go to would have the assistants give scalp massages, which I loved, and I found having my hair washed really relaxing. But then, I would be going with the full expectation that people would be touching my hair.

When it comes to strangers, just nope, I'm not ok with it. A couple of times when I've had my hair in an elaborate braid I've had people (almost always old ladies for some reason) grab it to get a closer look. I especially hate it when they approach me from behind.
I also once had a drunk man start playing with my hair when he was standing behind me in the queue at a bar. Not cool. Thankfully he immediately stopped when I turned around and glared at him.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

It would probably depend on the reason, the LHCer, and might still take some convincing. I have a mild case of Asperger’s syndrome and have a strong aversion to people touching me. If it was a newbie who had always had relatively short, straight hair and who never really ever had to deal with tangling, it’d probably be a pretty firm but polite no unless my hair was hopelessly caught in something awful. Why do you ask, SarahLabyrinth?

I ask this because I feel that LHCers would be much gentler and respectful of one's hair than others, most likely and so, to me, anyway it wouldn't be as bad as some stranger just coming up and grabbing it.

[Panthera]

I don't mind if someone asks if she can touch it. It's a bit awkward though. But that rarely happens, usually someone will just randomly grab my hair or try to run their fingers through it. Come on, you can't just run fingers through a curly hair :rolleyes:

[cjk]

Heck, I had a woman at church, yesterday, ask if she could feel my hair and play with my beard.

I don't care if someone touches my hair. I DO care if they do it without first asking permission. It's a personal space and privacy thing.

[Blossoming Bird]

Heck, I had a woman at church, yesterday, ask if she could feel my hair and play with my beard.

I don't care if someone touches my hair. I DO care if they do it without first asking permission. It's a personal space and privacy thing.

Absolutely agreed! Complete strangers in public just grab my hair and I hate it so much! Sometimes I wear it out wet and sticky with hair gel to teach those folks a lesson....

[Dung Beetle]

It's nice to have someone brush or wash your hair if they handle it gently, but since I don't go to hairdressers much it doesn't happen. What usually happens is that my husband goes to rub my back affectionately...through my hair! I don't say anything because I know he means it lovingly, but I cringe a little at the feeling of it being roughed up.

[BerrySara]

I don't mind if someone asks if she can touch it. It's a bit awkward though. But that rarely happens, usually someone will just randomly grab my hair or try to run their fingers through it. Come on, you can't just run fingers through a curly hair :rolleyes:

Lol...I don't get why strangers think that's totally okay thing to do.
I had an older lady walk up to me and started petting my hair as I was sitting on a beach chair and then she stuck her fingers through it and well got stuck lol.

Sometimes I think its out of pure curiosity of a different texture to theirs but still...just ask. I don't even like it when my friends starts grabbing or scrunching my hair without asking - When asked, mostly I will say sure but what I really think is "it took me HOURS to patiently air-dry my hair sitting in lotus position away from sun, wind, light and people to get defined curls so no you may not just frizz up my hair!" ;)

[JennGalt]

Potentially relevant. A cringey story about strangers touching hair.


https://youtu.be/jL-PEHGrXbI

Here’s the link in case I didn’t embed that properly:
https://youtu.be/jL-PEHGrXbI

Also she is a product junkie and I love her channel :)

[BerrySara]

Potentially relevant. A cringey story about strangers touching hair.

Also she is a product junkie and I love her channel :)


lol "She asked if she could touch it after she already touched it"

Btw, her curls are so pretty!

[vpatt]

Well a friend giving a gentle tug on a braid or something like that is ok...Maybe even a stranger, maybe......But no one combs or brushes my hair and those claws at the salon, I hate them digging into my scalp during a shampoo and then telling me how other people LOVE it.....I could barf. But I never go to the salon now so that is one worry gone.

[blackgothicdoll]

Potentially relevant. A cringey story about strangers touching hair.


https://youtu.be/jL-PEHGrXbI

Here’s the link in case I didn’t embed that properly:
https://youtu.be/jL-PEHGrXbI

Also she is a product junkie and I love her channel :)

I subscribe to her as well and I'm crazy about her hair, but product junky videos are bad for me since I'm on a no-buy (or so I say). Is her hair 3c or 4a?

[blvnkness]

Personally I don't like it when people touch my hair, no matter who they are. My fiance loves it when I braid his hair (he's up to CBL), but even he's off limits to touching mine. I'm too paranoid about greasing up my hair with people's fingers that I hardly touch mine unless it's for styling and brushing when needed. That being said, I've never minded the feeling of hairdressers washing my hair back when I used to get it cut years ago. The massages feel nice when it's by someone who's careful not to snag and break your locks!

[RavennaNight]

Nope. Don’t touch my hair, or me. I get so creeped out by any kind of touching from someone I don’t know. I worked retail for a long time and came across a lot of unsolicited, unwanted touching from customers. They’d touch my shoulder or arm as they’re talking, or think they’re being all funny and engaging and grab my hand to take me over to a product they had questions about. And this is men and women, not in a sxual way. I would be so put off by that. Nobody ever came near my hair. Outside of that environment, I don’t think I give off a very approachable vibe IRL, so nobody dares.

[Dewdrop]

I used to kind of like it, but I once went into a store to buy some shampoo and the lady who worked there had noooo concept of personal space. My hair was really dirty (exam week) and she pushed her hands all the way into my roots, said 'ew' and told me I needed shampoo. I was so stunned I didn't react, but ever since I can only stand it when I issue an explicit invitation. Don't know why that hit me so hard but that was when I learned how intimate and personal and 'close' my hair feels to me.
Kids are the exception though. I don't care if they're a bit rough, seeing their delighted reacted makes it worth it to me!

[lapushka]

Also she is a product junkie and I love her channel :)

Yes, she's great - I love her channel! :D

[JennGalt]

I subscribe to her as well and I'm crazy about her hair, but product junky videos are bad for me since I'm on a no-buy (or so I say). Is her hair 3c or 4a?

She says in her FAQ in the info box below her vids that she is 3c/4a and low porosity.

[FennFire911]

So far the only unwanted touching for me has been unsolicited tummy rubs from strangers when I was pregnant. I once snapped at a woman "this isn't a petting zoo and I'm not a goat!" If anyone touches my hair without invitation I'll use that phrase again.

[RottenMango]

I don’t want anyone except for S/O touching my hair. As a kid, I once had a mean girl from school come up to me and wipe some kind of cream in my hair. I assumed it was lotion, but to this day I still don’t know what it actually was. As a result, hands off my hair, please.

[PatchouliSoleil]

Personally, I don't like anyone touching my hair, except for hairdressers (I love getting my hair washed and trimmed). But honestly, most people - specifically strangers - don't wash their hands before trying to touch, and I don't enjoy my hair getting grimey as I don't wash it every single day. I don't even totally enjoy it when my S/O plays with it - mind you, he's pretty careless when he touches it and will tear right through it. That said, it's mostly worth it for a scalp massage!

To each their own though :)

[Begemot]

Yeah, I don't like anyone touching my hair. Hairdresser touching my hair is a necessary evil. I don't enjoy my SO touching my head and playing with my hair. It tickles.

[KameRose]

Oh boy, do I have a couple hair touching stories. I work retail, mostly doing stock. I keep my hair up all the time at work because my hand get absolutely filthy and my fine hair would go absolutely everywhere. I mean a lot of the boxes will have a layer of dust from who knows what on them, I've also of course seen plenty of small critter droppings on a bunch of them. Don't want that stuff anywhere near my hair, no thank-you.

I haven't had a guest o for my hair but did have one brazen enough to come up and hug me. Creepy....

I've had a couple co-workers go for my hair though. The casual delicate brush when I show someone how long my hair is I don't particularly mind, I still don't like it, but I know is coming and can brace myself for that moment. However, I've had a couple of my male co-worker sneak up on me and touch my hair. One came over and patted my head as I was collapsing a box... Yeah, I turned around and bopped him on the head with the collapsed box I was holding. Apparently I did it kind of hard because he did say 'ow'. It was a total knee jerk reaction. I had to wash my hair that day, well before I normally would have.

Another male coworker decided it would be cute to tug on my hair stick. :steam I was not amused, especially when a few minutes later I could feel that he had disturbed it's placement enough that my hair was starting to come undone. I had to rush to the restroom to wash my hands, because filthy-filthy hands, and barely made it to there before my hair came completely undone. I told him that next time he tried it(or anything with my hair) I was going to draw a smiley face on the back of his head. Well he tugged on my hair stick again last Friday, so I chased him a bit with with my permanent marker. I didn't actually get anything onto that bald head of his, but I hope he has the message now. Don't screw with my hair. If it happens a third time I will bring HR into it.

As for hair stylist, I too looked at it as a necessary evil. I only let a couple of them actually wash my hair. Most of the time I was like 'no, I just washed my hair but thanks for the offer.' I think my aversion to others touching my hair has to do with how rough my mother was with my hair when I was little. Of course the last time I went to a stylist was for my sister's wedding several years ago...

[lilyawad]

I don’t agree with other people touching my hair other than my husband because you never know with what intentions they are doing it with. They could be feeling many negative things and easily transmit it on to you. I’m a big believer in those kinds of things.

[Begemot]

Another male coworker decided it would be cute to tug on my hair stick. :steam I was not amused, especially when a few minutes later I could feel that he had disturbed it's placement enough that my hair was starting to come undone. I had to rush to the restroom to wash my hands, because filthy-filthy hands, and barely made it to there before my hair came completely undone. I told him that next time he tried it(or anything with my hair) I was going to draw a smiley face on the back of his head. Well he tugged on my hair stick again last Friday, so I chased him a bit with with my permanent marker. I didn't actually get anything onto that bald head of his, but I hope he has the message now. Don't screw with my hair. If it happens a third time I will bring HR into it.


Ew, how annoying. Hope he got the message once and for all. I would be really tempted to stab him a little with the hair stick :taz:

When I had hip length hair kids loved to stick their hands in my hair when it was loose. This happened a long time ago but I remember one instance when someone actually grabbed my hair and pulled quite hard. I just quickly walked away.

[AutobotsAttack]

No one touches my hair. Family members, my mom, my husband, or complete strangers. No one touches, my hair.

[mackensey]

Like a lot of other people in this thread, I love when my close friends, family and fiance play with my hair. It's so comforting and makes me feel close with them. I hate if people I don't know touch it. It feels inappropriate and they could have dirty hands haha.

[forestwizard]

I love when people I trust play with my hair, but I definitely don't want strangers to help themselves to my head.

My hair has dramatically changed texture in the past couple years from pin straight to very curly, which makes my friends and family want to touch my hair to be sure it's real. Especially on wash days when it's big and poofy my dad likes to comment and feel a few curls. So far I've heard I have "Ronald McDonald" and "Beetlejuice" hair lol.

When it was just a couple inches long last year I had an old friend ask to feel it, and she said the top felt almost like a shag carpet. I take it as a compliment, because who wouldn't want that kind of thickness?

[LoveHeart33]

I do not really enjoy anyone touching my hair haha:tmi:. I am from the south east in the US but I'm also just really particular.