How to Fix Split Ends From Multiple Dye Jobs

[whitehusky3]

Hello,

My daughter has badly damaged hair. She visits my parents each summer for the month of July, and during that time, my mother likes to dye her hair. She thinks my daughter looks really pretty with red hair (and she does but I think she looks prettier with her natural color). Unfortunately, it's caused massive damage to my daughter's locks after being dyed so many times over the last 2-3 years.

Her hair is BSL and she wants to go back to her natural hair color (at least until she gets around my mom and she convinces my daughter to dye it again). Her red was fading and looked horrible, so I bought the best hair dye I could find and told my daughter we would dye it one more time to help her transition to her natural color. It looked very pretty when it was all done, but while rinsing it out, she lost literally chunks of her hair. I felt so awful for her, I wanted to cry! I told her if she dyes her hair again, she might as well buzz it all off and start over because it won't be able to handle another dye job. She agreed she didn't want to dye it ever again. I also told my mother about it, and I hope she took it to heart that she is not to dye my daughter's hair anymore (I'll be reminding her again next summer).

Anyway, the reason for this post is my daughter is suffering from terrible split ends. I cut off 3 inches of her hair and then used the S&D method to try to find stragglers. A couple of weeks later, her ends are riddled with split ends again! I cut off another full inch, but I don't want to do anymore than that. How can we care for her hair to prevent further damage until she can grow out the dye? She's going to start washing her hair with the CWC method. Any other advice?

[spitfire511]

welcome whitehusky3 - I suspect you'll hear the same things several times here. There's really no 'fixing' damage/splits. There is only cutting and/or growing it out.

BSL should be long enough for some updos/braids for protection, and that will be key to retaining the length she has. There are several people here who have better experience with this than I do - all my damage is sun - and needs only moisture (too much protein makes it break more). But figuring out exactly what it needs and treating it carefully will matter.

Make sure you go through all the stickies - they have some great advice - but also remember if something immediately seems off (CWC or WCC or CO or any of them aren't for everyone - some people NEED cones and sulfates) don't continue to try it for a very extended period. Also - get her to stretch those washes as far as she can... our natural hair oils are so good for our hair!

Nightshade has a great article on how she grew her damaged hair. (http://web.archive.org/web/20120125071723/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79)

Good luck to you guys - hope you stick around and we can see the progress as she grows!

[Begemot]

Look up the Olaplex thread and maybe have her try it :) she should keep getting regular trims and use products that help make her hair slippery (like silicones). Regular deep treatments too.

[whitehusky3]

Thank you for the advice and the link to that article. It was very informative. I'll definitely look into having her use a coney conditioner also. I think I'll have her do a deep conditioning treatment tonight too by having her sleep with a hair masque in. Would this be enough to stave off damage until she can grow it out?

[cestlavie]

I would be careful with sleeping with deep treatments or masks (if done regularly) because it can cause hygral fatigue in the long run. So alternating between protein treatments and moisture treatments are key to baby it back to health and prevent breakage because of too much protein or moisture. I would trim regularly too and maybe do some protective hairstyles like buns/braids?

[akurah]

If you guys are "cone free", switch back to silicone till the damage is gone from trimming out over time. Nothing can repair split ends but lots of things (silicone being one) can hold it together temporarily until you can trim it out

[Joules]

Thank you for the advice and the link to that article. It was very informative. I'll definitely look into having her use a coney conditioner also. I think I'll have her do a deep conditioning treatment tonight too by having her sleep with a hair masque in. Would this be enough to stave off damage until she can grow it out?

You don't need to sleep with anything on your hair. A good hair mask should work in 20 minutes, if it needs more time, then it's not a good mask.

I'd suggest cutting off as much as possible (or as much as your daughter would be comfortable with) and babying whatever's left. Protective styles are a must, ideally buns, but braids would do too if her scalp is sensitive. S&D with professional haircutting shears when needed. Gentle handling is very important, make sure she doesn't rub and scrub her hair when she's washing it, and that she's wrapping it in an old t-shirt (no towel drying!). Satin pillowcase can help too, synthetic ones are quite cheap and work wonders.

In terms of actual care, I'd look into ROO (it's a life saver!!!), LOC and WCC. There are threads about each method here. I also second silicones, only I'd advise using them as last steps in the routine (like using a rinse-out conditioners with less amount of cones, and heavier leave-ins). Oils, oils, oils! Here's a great list of penetrating and non-penetrating oils (https://science-yhairblog.blogspot.com/2013/06/oils-which-ones-soak-in-vs-coat-hair.html), you can use penetrating ones as pre-poo oil treatments, and non-penetrating ones in ROO or LOC (or just use penetrating oils for everything, I don't really get the point in using non-penetrating ones in hair care, tbh). Don't stretch washes!!! "Natural oils" aren't good for you, it's dirt that breeds bacteria and fungus and it needs to be washed out. Protein treatments can help, but it's important to pair them with moisturizing ones to prevent protein overload.

That's how I'd approach growing out damaged hair.

[LittleHealthy]

Speaking from experience here - keep her ends oiled and up in some kind of protective style for the majority of time, if she doesn’t want to cut it all off. The hair is damaged, there’s no way to ‘fix’ it as such. Just to protect it while it grows out, or cut it off as others have said.
I’m 2yrs into growing out a very very bad bleach job which has had me lose length to breakage for a long time. I didn’t want to lose my length so I have been babying my hair to retain the length while I gain some of my natural hair back.
Is your daughter young? Or getting older? She might decide she wants to actively take care of the damaged portion, or cut it off. It is relatively easy just to wash less often, keep the ends hydrated and protected (silicone conditioner, then Argan oil or something like that on the ends), then put into some kind of up-do. To cut it short only makes protective styles more difficult.
Good luck! :)

[lithostoic]

Silicone based serums help ends from splitting further. Garnier sleek and shine is a great one. I used it when my damage was at its worst.

[lapushka]

You don't need to sleep with anything on your hair. A good hair mask should work in 20 minutes, if it needs more time, then it's not a good mask.

Seconding this! ^^

Don't sleep with a mask in. Oil? Could be done, but a mask? Not a good idea!

There is nothing that can "help" split ends, but you can S&D them out, cut individual splits off rather than trimming inches off the whole entire length. If the hair is half riddled with splits, a trim might be better, though.

Good luck.

I don't know why your mother goes against your advice about dyeing your daughter's hair, and of course your daughter has a say, so she must like getting her hair done.

I'm so sorry chunks came off; it might be a warning sign though that that's about all the hair can take.

[LittleHealthy]

Silicone based serums help ends from splitting further. Garnier sleek and shine is a great one. I used it when my damage was at its worst.

YES for this! Or Schwarzkopf 6 Miracles Oil, L’Oreal Elvive oil etc. they’re all heavily silicone based. Not really ‘oil’. They work great if you wash, condition, then put olive oil on your ends (just a drop or two), then a pump or two of the silicone based oil serum. That’s what I do! And my hair was soooo damaged.

The catch is that you need to be consistent, as none of this ‘repairs’ the hair. Just improves it temporarily!

[Gwyned]

If you guys are "cone free", switch back to silicone till the damage is gone from trimming out over time. Nothing can repair split ends but lots of things (silicone being one) can hold it together temporarily until you can trim it out

Akurah is right. Lithostoic too. I don't know any scientific evidence to back any of this up off the top of my head but I've personally tried it and it worked pretty well although I ended up snipping the split ends anyway.

Also, I don't think sleeping with a mask in your hair is a good idea. Oil is fine (to my knowledge), but hair masks are a no. Gosh. I did this before and my scalp was super itchy for days. Some even experience over-hydration. No bueno. Opens a can worms. Easy to fix...sometimes. But generally not a good idea. Everyone's hair is different though.

[spidermom]

I wanted to reinforce that deep conditioning treatments should only be left in as long as the directions say. Any more time is just a waste. The hair can only absorb so much benefit. Once it reaches saturation, it simply won't absorb anything else. So if the directions say, for example, 5 minutes, then 5 minutes is all you need.

[cjk]

I feel the need to point out that you should be listening to her hair. Any suggestions we can give are just that, suggestions. It's not as simple as a checklist, do this then that and it will be fine.

Heck,mix it was that automatic this entire forum would cease to exist!

It's extremely likely that the repeated dye jobs have left her hair dry, so absolutely moisture. Not once, but repeatedly...it takes a while to get it in and stable.

And I second the suggestion for olaplex. But if her hair is so damaged that it's falling out, that's a hail-Mary at best.

You didn't tell us about her texture. Or her natural porosity. Workable suggestions for straight blonde hair might be different than for type 4 Afro hair, for instance.

But if she wants color I'll make a suggestion I don't often see around here. Hair extensions. Braid in hair, to be specific. It's a great way to add color without damaging the natural hair further.

[2gaits]

How often is she coloring her hair? Is she bleaching it all out first and then dying red? Just seems like from the initial post that she colors it in the summer? Once during the summer and again the following summer? Just doesn't seem that coloring it so infrequently should damage it that much. I suspect something else is causing the split ends and dryness. Does she use heat frequently?

[lapushka]

How often is she coloring her hair? Is she bleaching it all out first and then dying red? Just seems like from the initial post that she colors it in the summer? Once during the summer and again the following summer? Just doesn't seem that coloring it so infrequently should damage it that much. I suspect something else is causing the split ends and dryness. Does she use heat frequently?

Yes that could be a major culprit here!

Please tell us more about her routine, and her texture. :flower:

[Corvana]

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but also make sure that your scissors are SHARP and used only for hair. A clean cut from sharp hair shears is always preferable. It will at least prevent splits caused by dull scissors, and sometimes that's enough to just S&D instead of trim again.

[elfynity]

Hello,

My daughter has badly damaged hair. She visits my parents each summer for the month of July, and during that time, my mother likes to dye her hair. She thinks my daughter looks really pretty with red hair (and she does but I think she looks prettier with her natural color). Unfortunately, it's caused massive damage to my daughter's locks after being dyed so many times over the last 2-3 years.

Her hair is BSL and she wants to go back to her natural hair color (at least until she gets around my mom and she convinces my daughter to dye it again)...

I am a bit shocked that your mom dyed your daughters hair because she liked it red, regardless of the damage it is causing, or how you feel about it, or how much your daugther needs to be convinced to do it.

[lapushka]

I am a bit shocked that your mom dyed your daughters hair because she liked it red, regardless of the damage it is causing, or how you feel about it, or how much your daugther needs to be convinced to do it.

I don't know how old the daughter is, but I'm guessing a teen if hair dye is being used on her. She can say no, as a teen... you know? ;)

[Nouvelle Vague]

I am new in this forum, well not really new, I was here in 2012, and grew my hair pretty long thanks to henna. I'm dark blonde and I used to do highlights for 10 years prior to trying henna out. Unfortunately, due to a break up i reverted back to being blonde which really fried my hair. Now im growing it back all natural, wanting length, so I only mini-trim my lengths, I found that Logona products are great, and I have found a wonderful brand for my ends, Khadi, shikakai and coconut. Despite the smell it really does wonders to my hair. My hair length is now at shoulder length but I'm sure I will manage to grow it natural using all natural bio SLC free products. Im pretty sure we do not need to cut one inch every 2 months, lets just trim and cut every 8 months maybe...........

[lapushka]

I am new in this forum, well not really new, I was here in 2012, and grew my hair pretty long thanks to henna. I'm dark blonde and I used to do highlights for 10 years prior to trying henna out. Unfortunately, due to a break up i reverted back to being blonde which really fried my hair. Now im growing it back all natural, wanting length, so I only mini-trim my lengths, I found that Logona products are great, and I have found a wonderful brand for my ends, Khadi, shikakai and coconut. Despite the smell it really does wonders to my hair. My hair length is now at shoulder length but I'm sure I will manage to grow it natural using all natural bio SLC free products. Im pretty sure we do not need to cut one inch every 2 months, lets just trim and cut every 8 months maybe...........

Welcome to the forum! :)

[Joules]

I don't know how old the daughter is, but I'm guessing a teen if hair dye is being used on her. She can say no, as a teen... you know? ;)

We don't know how exactly her grandmother persuades her to dye. She might use phrases like "your hair is dull" or "your natural shade makes you look sick". Women get insecure about their appearances because strangers who write magazines tell them they're not perfect, imagine what a grandmother's words could do. Especially when you're a teen, it's so easy to convince a teenage girl she's ugly, most of them hate their bodies anyway.

[lapushka]

We don't know how exactly her grandmother persuades her to dye. She might use phrases like "your hair is dull" or "your natural shade makes you look sick". Women get insecure about their appearances because strangers who write magazines tell them they're not perfect, imagine what a grandmother's words could do. Especially when you're a teen, it's so easy to convince a teenage girl she's ugly, most of them hate their bodies anyway.

I'm just judging by how I was as a teen. If that is what her grandma is like... OMG.

But... we're jumping to conclusions.

Wondering where OP is...

[Joules]

I'm just judging by how I was as a teen. If that is what her grandma is like... OMG.

I never cared about other people and their opinions too, but I think it was because my Mom and all the other women in my family always told me that I was beautiful and perfect. It didn't make me narcissistic, I know each and every one of my flaws, but I do believe it made me comfortable in my own skin.

I've met women who colored their little daughters hair (little meaning like 6-7-8 years old), because they liked colored hair better. So it's not something unheard of. Every woman has her own opinions, but not all of them have the wisdom to keep them to themselves.

I'm not saying OP's mother is like this. I just wanted to show you a reason why a teen couldn't say no.

[lapushka]

I never cared about other people and their opinions too, but I think it was because my Mom and all the other women in my family always told me that I was beautiful and perfect. It didn't make me narcissistic, I know each and every one of my flaws, but I do believe it made me comfortable in my own skin.

I've met women who colored their little daughters hair (little meaning like 6-7-8 years old), because they liked colored hair better. So it's not something unheard of. Every woman has her own opinions, but not all of them have the wisdom to keep them to themselves.

I'm not saying OP's mother is like this. I just wanted to show you a reason why a teen couldn't say no.

I know. Sad, isn't it? I mean the relaxers, IMMHO are way worse in small children (not such great ingredients).

[Joules]

I know. Sad, isn't it? I mean the relaxers, IMMHO are way worse in small children (not such great ingredients).

It's really sad, imagine having no understanding and no control over what happens to your body and what kind of potentially harmful modifications someone else does to it. I wish there were some rules, like the age of consent only for cosmetic procedures, so that not even a mother could do anything.

[cjk]

It's really sad, imagine having no understanding and no control over what happens to your body and what kind of potentially harmful modifications someone else does to it. I wish there were some rules, like the age of consent only for cosmetic procedures, so that not even a mother could do anything.

At the danger of getting political, I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

We need better parents. Way too many do too many stupid things, on this we agree. But we absolutely do not need governmental regulation of parenting.

Getting the government involved is never a good answer.

[Joules]

At the danger of getting political, I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

We need better parents. Way too many do too many stupid things, on this we agree. But we absolutely do not need governmental regulation of parenting.

Getting the government involved is never a good answer.

The government already regulates parenting. You can't beat your child, that's abuse. You can't deprive them of education, you can't force them to work, you can't give them alcohol or drugs, you can't put them on a leash and keep them as a dog, you can't just do whatever you want with your kid because there is such thing as Children's rights. The government is already very much involved in many aspects of parenting and life in general.

I just feel sorry for those girls whose mothers project their own insecurities on them and I wish there was any way at all to protect them.

[cjk]

The government already regulates parenting.

Too much regulation already, though that argument is primarily philosophical. The regulations in place are mostly for basic protection.

A parent choosing a haircut or a hair color for their child is hardly abuse. A dye job resulting in split ends hardly warrants official intervention.

It's not equivalent to intentionally breaking their bones.


just feel sorry for those girls whose mothers project their own insecurities on them and I wish there was any way at all to protect them.

I can't help but notice your sole focus has been on the mother. You do realize that the father matters, too, right?

Parent is not automatically the female.

And girls? Boys matter too!

[lapushka]

I can't help but notice your sole focus has been on the mother. You do realize that the father matters, too, right?

Parent is not automatically the female.

And girls? Boys matter too!

The father doesn't play a role in this thread though, it is mother & grandma.

[Joules]

I can't help but notice your sole focus has been on the mother. You do realize that the father matters, too, right?

Parent is not automatically the female.

And girls? Boys matter too!

This whole topic is about a grandmother dyeing her granddaughter's hair. I'm pretty sure grandfather wouldn't bother to do that.

The issue I brought up - mothers dyeing their little daughters' hair and where it comes from - is gender-specific too, whether you like it or not. Have you ever seen a father criticizing their son for having big nose, sticking out ears and dull hair color? Women tend to care more about their looks, and whatever insecurities they have may be projected on their daughters. I've even seen cases of mothers taking their 6 year old girls to a plastic surgeon to correct their sticking out ears! I don't know how things are in your part of the world, but when I was growing up there was the "no one will want to marry you" argument, and girls heard it quite often.

[lapushka]

This whole topic is about a grandmother dyeing her granddaughter's hair. I'm pretty sure grandfather wouldn't bother to do that.

The issue I brought up - mothers dyeing their little daughters' hair and where it comes from - is gender-specific too, whether you like it or not. Have you ever seen a father criticizing their son for having big nose, sticking out ears and dull hair color? Women tend to care more about their looks, and whatever insecurities they have may be projected on their daughters. I've even seen cases of mothers taking their 6 year old girls to a plastic surgeon to correct their sticking out ears! I don't know how things are in your part of the world, but when I was growing up there was the "no one will want to marry you" argument, and girls heard it quite often.

My cousin had her ears corrected as a child, before she was 10 because it was a necessity, her ears stuck out quite far. And I think this is something that is done quite often and nothing out of the ordinary anymore.

[spidermom]

A former stylist told me that her mother had always wanted a little girl with curls, so she permed my stylist's hair at the age of 2. Can you imagine? It can be a chore to comb a 2 year old's hair, much less pinning one down for a perm.

[Dark40]

whitehusky3,I would also follow the micro-trim method as well. You can trim off a little at a time until all of the damage is gone. I also love dyeing my hair red too. A lot of people tell me I look very pretty with red hair as well. But dyeing red hair shouldn't take that many times to be dyed. What is your daughter's natural hair color?