Cone-free & SLS-free shredded / thinned my hair dramatically

[VersLaLumière]

Hi everyone, I'm sharing so others hopefully don't make the same mistake. Especially because SLS and cone-free products are way hyped but they are not for everyone. I tried it and it was a major FAIL.

One year ago I decided to go cone-free and mostly SLS-free. But the most major change was getting rid of cones. BIG MISTAKE. My hair is wavy with ringlets in places and naturally likes to stick to itself.

My hair got so tangled and unmanageable it was a nightmare. This became a big issue at lower mid-back and an almost impossible issue at waist. I would continue to change my routine and try different cone-free things and it would work briefly then not work. My length was almost always a mess from APL down. Shea Moisture JBCO leave-in was the only thing that gave my hair any kind of slip (so I still love that product). Everything else was a disaster for me. Ultimately not even the Shea could really fix the damage my cone/SLS free shampoo and conditioner routine was doing. No cone-free oil or deep treatment worked either in any kind of long-term way. I started to wonder if I should go back to cones. I worried about all the hair I might be ripping out just trying to detangle the mess all the time. I would detangle and it would be a tangly mess again only minutes later. I remembered when my hair didn't used to be such a PITA - when I used to use cones.

One year in, I can really see the difference for sure. My fears about ripping too much hair out out were really true. Over time it's clearly thinned DRAMATICALLY from BSL on down. The process happened gradually over time and now it's too late. The length was basically shredded by not having proper slip.

My hair is currently a solid 3" thick at the top of a low ponytail. Half way down my back, it is just under 1.25" thick! Trust me my hair did NOT look good because it's full to BSL and then this demarcation line just below BSL where it's suddenly half as thick for the remaining length of my hair. I had made it to just grazing my hip and that was sooo cool ! But I didn't announce it on here because I knew it was incredibly damaged and I wanted to cut it. I cut back to waist but it clearly needs more - I'm considering another couple inches to mid-back. Unless I plan to wear dark shirts for the next year while it grows out so it's not so obvious. Even my hairdresser criticized the hell out of it (which I really didn't appreciate) and tried to persuade me back to BSL.

About a month ago I went back to my old shampoo and conditioner that has cones - not too heavy but just enough. And it's SO MUCH BETTER ! Way more manageable and not ripping out. Tangles are pretty minimal and come out easily. I'll likely be maintaining until I cut out the damaged length. In the meantime I noticed I can fluff up my hair to make it look better, but the fluffiness doesn't last and it shrinks again.

If you experience anything like what I did, PLEASE reconsider the routine if you want to save your hair and it just might work! Cones are not bad! They may well be the best thing for your hair.

[Stray_mind]

Hi everyone, I'm sharing so others hopefully don't make the same mistake. Especially because SLS and cone-free products are way hyped but they are not for everyone. I tried it and it was a major FAIL.

One year ago I decided to go cone-free and mostly SLS-free. But the most major change was getting rid of cones. BIG MISTAKE. My hair is wavy with ringlets in places and naturally likes to stick to itself.

My hair got so tangled and unmanageable it was a nightmare. This became a big issue at mid-back and an almost impossible issue at waist. I would continue to change my routine and try different cone-free things and it would work briefly then not work. My length was almost always a mess from APL down. Shea Moisture JBCO leave-in was the only thing that gave my hair any kind of slip (so I still love that product). Everything else was a disaster for me. Ultimately not even the Shea could really fix the damage my cone/SLS free shampoo and conditioner routine was doing. No cone-free oil or deep treatment worked either in any kind of long-term way. I started to wonder if I should go back to cones. I worried about all the hair I might be ripping out just trying to detangle the mess all the time. I would detangle and it would be a tangly mess again only minutes later. I remembered when my hair didn't used to be such a PITA - when I used to use cones.

One year in, I can really see the difference for sure. My fears about ripping too much hair out out were really true. Over time it's clearly thinned DRAMATICALLY from BSL on down. The process happened gradually over time and now it's too late. The length was basically shredded by not having proper slip.

My hair is currently a solid 3" thick at the top of a low ponytail. Half way down my back, it is just under 1.25" thick! Trust me my hair did NOT look good because it's full to BSL and then this demarcation line just below BSL where it's suddenly half as thick for the remaining length of my hair. I had made it to just grazing my hip and that was sooo cool ! But I didn't announce it on here because I knew it was incredibly damaged and I wanted to cut it. I cut back to waist but it clearly needs more - I'm considering another couple inches to mid-back. Unless I plan to wear dark shirts for the next year while it grows out so it's not so obvious. Even my hairdresser criticized the hell out of it (which I really didn't appreciate) and tried to persuade me back to BSL.

About a month ago I went back to my old shampoo and conditioner that has cones - not too much but just enough. And it's SO MUCH BETTER ! Way more manageable and not ripping out. Tangles are pretty minimal and come out easily. I'll likely be maintaining until I cut out the damaged length. In the meantime I noticed I can fluff up my hair to make it look better, but the fluffiness doesn't last and it shrinks again.

If you experience anything like what I did, PLEASE reconsider the routine if you want to save your hair and it just might work! Cones are not bad! They may well be the best thing for your hair.
Yeah, some hair loves cones, some doesn't and we all knew that.

I am sorry about what you are going trough, but you are saying that cone free products used to work and then stop after a while... i was wondering. A lot of people here who use cone/SLS free routined tend to clarify their hair once in a while to get rid of the build up that weighs down their hair or causes dryness or tangles. Did you clarify too or just used Cone free all the time?

I wonder if not clarifying was a problem...

[VersLaLumière]

Yeah, some hair loves cones, some doesn't and we all knew that.

I am sorry about what you are going trough, but you are saying that cone free products used to work and then stop after a while... i was wondering. A lot of people here who use cone/SLS free routined tend to clarify their hair once in a while to get rid of the build up that weighs down their hair or causes dryness or tangles. Did you clarify too or just used Cone free all the time?

I wonder if not clarifying was a problem...

Yes I sure clarified, regularly. I tried everything, for a year.

[kph12]

my hair loves/needs cones too. The mechanical damage from the tangles are worse than any other side effect from cones.

[spitfire511]

VersLaLumiere so sorry for what you're going through! But am glad that you have figured out (or know) what your hair needs.

I think that's been one of the biggest lessons for many of us here (certainly me!) at LHC is that your hair knows what it needs and we can't ignore that based on what works (or doesn't) for someone else. TorrinPaige who I followed the heck out of years ago (and still watch her YT vids) has always been an unapologetic cone-user and occasional blow-dryer. lapushka who is also guru-status here in my estimation is a cone-user as well.

It's taken me as long as I've been here to find what REALLY works for my hair (and how susceptible it is to sun damage ugh) and while I'll still try new things (the ROO thread is my latest love!) I only try them for a couple of weeks... if it's not working, it's not working.

Good luck as you regrow and get that length back!!

[lapushka]

Without silicones my hair is hard to deal with as well. I get so much mechanical damage trying to get through tangles that way. And I have been experiencing it because I am trying to use my products up, and some are still silicone-free.

Yes, spitfire, I love my silicones!

And the same with sulfates, for me. I need them for my SD, seborrheic dermatitis, issue. And I also can't go sulfate-free because my scalp will totally *hate* me for it. And CO-washing was a nightmare.


If you experience anything like what I did, PLEASE reconsider the routine if you want to save your hair and it just might work! Cones are not bad! They may well be the best thing for your hair.

It's like I always say, it's what about our hair wants not about what we want for our hair. You gotta listen to the hair. I'm willing to bet it was a hard lesson for you. I've learned a few of those while here as well. :flower:

[pailin]

Thanks for putting up this thread with your experience,VerslaLumiere. It's way too easy to just assume that everyone is going to do better with cone free, sls free, or whatever other special routine, and that it would be better to switch to that if they're not already. Also it's too easy to assume that gentler or less shampoo is better for everyone. And it's just not so. We're just not all made the same, our hair isn't all the same, and neither are our scalps. And that's another reason it's helpful for us to hear each other's experience, so we can both get ideas to try- and also recognize that things that work for other people might not work for ourselves.
I was ok cone free with my hg conditioner (which is still my favorite) up to a certain length, but adding cones back made my hair more manageable. And all the sls free or other 'gentle' or 'all natural' shampoos made me itch. The shampoo companies might actually know what they're doing when they put these things in so many products.:ponder:
I'm glad you figured out that you needed to switch back to your old products!

[blackgothicdoll]

I'm still figuring out what exactly it is, but I'm thinking maybe dry hair likes cones because they hold the moisture in? I feel like when I use cone-free, I need to constantly re-moisturize my hair. That will make it sticky after awhile. When I use a cone product, I don't feel the need to reapply product for a few days! That's what I've noticed while currently experimenting. I did cone-free for almost a year as well, though I still haven't come to a conclusion as to whether it worked or not. Well, it didn't necessarily work because here I am back to using cones, but I'm not sure which negative effects (as I've had several negative hair issues) that it may have caused.

I am for sure learning the same lesson... thanks for posting for those who are still on the fence.

[almostghost]

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear what's happened with your hair. I had something similar (but less severe) happen when I tried going off SLS 'poos for several months this year, because I'd heard so many good things about it. Eventually it got so bad and difficult to manage that I was actually starting to consider a chop because I didn't feel like it was worth dealing with it anymore. Then I finally used an SLS shampoo again, just once, and suddenly my hair was immediately back to its old, smoother, more manageable self. I was lucky to get through that with nothing worse than a ton of splits and breakage in the bottom few inches.

Like every technique found here, going SLS free and/or cone free seems to be a godsend for some, and a disaster for others. It seems like there's absolutely nothing that works well for everyone when it comes to hair care. I don't think that can be emphasized enough.

Best of luck with the re-growing. :grouphug:

[lapushka]

I'm still figuring out what exactly it is, but I'm thinking maybe dry hair likes cones because they hold the moisture in? I feel like when I use cone-free, I need to constantly re-moisturize my hair. That will make it sticky after awhile. When I use a cone product, I don't feel the need to reapply product for a few days! That's what I've noticed while currently experimenting. I did cone-free for almost a year as well, though I still haven't come to a conclusion as to whether it worked or not. Well, it didn't necessarily work because here I am back to using cones, but I'm not sure which negative effects (as I've had several negative hair issues) that it may have caused.

I am for sure learning the same lesson... thanks for posting for those who are still on the fence.

Maybe going on and off between the two is an option?

[lapushka]

Like every technique found here, going SLS free and/or cone free seems to be a godsend for some, and a disaster for others. It seems like there's absolutely nothing that works well for everyone when it comes to hair care. I don't think that can be emphasized enough.

Well put! :flower:

[Ophidian]

Like every technique found here, going SLS free and/or cone free seems to be a godsend for some, and a disaster for others. It seems like there's absolutely nothing that works well for everyone when it comes to hair care. I don't think that can be emphasized enough.

x2:thumbsup:

[Reservechic]

I've given the Curly Girl Method quite a number of tries, always hoping that my experience with such would get better, but it never did, I so I went back to using whatever I find works for my hair. I grew up having all types of products used in my hair and my hair still flourished. My mother used drugstore products and me and my sister's hair, and our hair never ended up heavily damaged by the sulfates, mineral oil, silicones, etc., that were in these products. Which is why, I decided to go back to basics, and am enjoying my hair care journey a whole lot better now.

For me personally, I don't worry about confirming to any one particular method of caring for my hair, because everyone's hair and scalp needs are different, because we're all genetically different, and there is of course no one particular method out there that is best for the hair. There are no rules when it comes to taking care of ones hair, whether it happens to be textured or not.
Our hair will immediately let us know whether a product is a keeper or not, which is why, I don't try and make any product work, if my hair is clearly letting me know that it doesn't like it right from the get go. I have learned to return stuff ASAP, and get my money back. I also am one who knows that a lot of these expensive products, contain a lot of the same ingredients as drugstore products. Whether they happen to be Curly Girl friendly or not. i feel that it's always best to go by what your hair and scalp lets you know about a product, and if it doesn't cause any irritation, or extreme dryness or greasiness, or cause your hair to feel rough and unmanageable, then by all means stick with it. But, when something isn't working out from the start, it isn't going to get any better. Which is what in many cases can add more problems, when someone is trying to stick with using a product or products or a particular method out there that doesn't work best for their hair.

[kitcatsmeow]

So sorry this happened. My hair actually does better without cones and definitely without sulfates but it needs clarified often and I do use a serum with some cones in it as my finishing product so I get that slip!

[lapushka]

I've given the Curly Girl Method quite a number of tries, always hoping that my experience with such would get better, but it never did, I so I went back to using whatever I find works for my hair. I grew up having all types of products used in my hair and my hair still flourished. My mother used drugstore products and me and my sister's hair, and our hair never ended up heavily damaged by the sulfates, mineral oil, silicones, etc., that were in these products. Which is why, I decided to go back to basics, and am enjoying my hair care journey a whole lot better now.

Yes, was it so bad when we were growing up? If it's not broken, why fix it? My 2cts. on it.

[MusicalSpoons]

I've given the Curly Girl Method quite a number of tries, always hoping that my experience with such would get better, but it never did, I so I went back to using whatever I find works for my hair. I grew up having all types of products used in my hair and my hair still flourished. My mother used drugstore products and me and my sister's hair, and our hair never ended up heavily damaged by the sulfates, mineral oil, silicones, etc., that were in these products. Which is why, I decided to go back to basics, and am enjoying my hair care journey a whole lot better now.


Yes, was it so bad when we were growing up? If it's not broken, why fix it? My 2cts. on it.

We did too. It wasn't broken because our hair did okay, but it turns out it could have been better. I could not have reached my current length without it being straggly with my previous routine of SLS shampoo stripping the hair every other day and coney conditioner. I'm not saying it was *bad* - in fact my single biggest mistake was destroying my ends with hair elastics - but I'm glad I have more knowledge now and have been able to build a routine and choose products that better suit my hair and scalp :) Incidentally, my entire routine now (except shampoo) still uses products that are as cheap or cheaper than drugstore brands :grin:

[Just to add, I'm mostly cone-free, but my plant-oil-heavy HG conditioner has PEG-something-dimethicone somewhere down the list, which does seem to make a difference as it does best when I use it as my final conditioner. It really is about being educated and making informed decisions to find what best suits one's own hair and scalp. ]

ETA: OP I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but thank you for sharing it. It helps to counter the instinct many of us have to indiscriminately recommend what works for us without necessarily thinking of alternatives or possible negative consequences :flower:

[Reservechic]

Yes, was it so bad when we were growing up? If it's not broken, why fix it? My 2cts. on it.

:applause:applause:applause

[Ligeia Noire]

Seeing these threads just strengthens my belief that silicones are a must for st least, past classic hair. I mean how many people with very long hair do not use silicones?

[gossamer]

Seeing these threads just strengthens my belief that silicones are a must for st least, past classic hair. I mean how many people with very long hair do not use silicones?

I definitely do need silicones. I accidentally (mostly through laziness) forgot to balance out my cone free conditioner with a coney conditioner earlier this autumn and I really felt a difference in terms of tangles and grabbiness. I need cones semi-regularly (along with clarifying every 8-10 weeks) to keep my hair as smooth as possible.

[spidermom]

It's funny, disaster stories go both ways. I have read posts about how cones destroyed someone's hair, dried it out, made it brittle so that it snapped off if touched.

We're definitely different.

[Ligeia Noire]

I know but I mean were those people knee or plus... I just can't imagine detangling hair without silicones at very long lengths... but maybe there are some.... I know Gossamer does as stated above, JJJ, Kari too I believe Andrea, Aliia, Torrin... and we all have different types of hair

[LittleOgre]

Maybe your hair was already damaged so just going cone free pretty much showed your hair

[lapushka]

I know but I mean were those people knee or plus... I just can't imagine detangling hair without silicones at very long lengths... but maybe there are some.... I know Gossamer does as stated above, JJJ, Kari too I believe Andrea, Aliia, Torrin... and we all have different types of hair

Oh boy after BSL, silicones all the way! I would have mechanical damage, and I sometimes do because I have a crap ton of stuff to still use up and some of it is without silicones! I try to balance it out now, with smacking my good silicone conditioner on top (2nd C).

[Stray_mind]

Yes I sure clarified, regularly. I tried everything, for a year.
I guess your hair just likes cones. Nothing wrong with that really. :)

If it works for you, then keep using whatever you want. :flower:

[Ylva]

Thanks for sharing your experience, OP.

I was cone-free for a pretty long time and did well when my hair wasn't too damaged. Then I damaged it one too many times and it no longer worked for me, because I needed more slip. Also, I got into the habit of utilising leave-ins very generously, and I needed cones for that reason, too. My hair would just get too sticky with all the leave-in if I didn't use silicones.

Luckily I found a very good friend in non-buildup silicones.