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Sparkles122
November 21st, 2018, 04:55 PM
Hello all, I am a long time lurker (i think i may have posted once a long time ago). Let me start with my story. Prior to 2 weeks ago, I had in between waist to hip length medium brown healthy hair. I had 2 demi permanents on it but overall it was in great condition. My hair stylist who was a long time friend of mine kept pushing me to highlight my hair. 2 weeks ago, I gave in and let her do a full heavy highlight over my whole head. She also chopped my hair off to a little bit below my shoulders. I did like it at first and then the deep regret set in. Because I had cut so much off I was able to donate it, which is the only good thing that has come out of this. A couple of days after the highlights I go to wash my hair and I am seriously traumatized. My hair is completely utterly fried all along my crown. I could not tell this when it was dry because of all the product and she blow dried with big round brush. A couple days later I decided that I hated the highlights and the way the lighter hair color looked on me. I decided the only way I could deal with this was to dye it back to medium brown and grow it out. So last thursday I had another hair dresser dye it back to medium brown. I dont have any actual breakage from the highlights but my hair is in very bad condition when wet. Ladies I need your help, suggestions, support. Anyone else going through this right now with me? I am also in complete shock over cutting so much off and am beginning my journey back to hip legnth

lapushka
November 21st, 2018, 05:13 PM
So last thursday I had another hair dresser dye it back to medium brown. I dont have any actual breakage from the highlights but my hair is in very bad condition when wet. Ladies I need your help, suggestions, support. Anyone else going through this right now with me? I am also in complete shock over cutting so much off and am beginning my journey back to hip legnth

Welcome to the forum. :)

If it is mushy feeling, you might need a good protein conditioner.
If it is dry and brittle feeling, you need a good moisturizing conditioner.

Sit with a good deep conditioner on your head for about a half H to an H. Then see where you are. Also clarify wash it so it's rid of all of the product gunk and such. Then do the deep treatment. If you are worried about your color at all, then use a color safe shampoo (needs to be sulfates though).

More people will be along shortly with some good advice.

blesseddamozel
November 21st, 2018, 05:15 PM
I don't have any advice to offer but I do want to say that I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope you have an enjoyable journey growing your hair again :flower:

Sparkles122
November 21st, 2018, 05:16 PM
It’s almost like I cannot for the life of me get my fingers through the crown of my hair when im washing it. My ends are fine and directly above the crown is fine. I have never felt my hair feel like this before. I am terrified and never touching it with any dye/bleach again

Sparkles122
November 21st, 2018, 05:17 PM
Which conditioner do you suggest?

lapushka
November 21st, 2018, 05:21 PM
That depends, does it feel brittle when doused with water or mushy?

Sparkles122
November 21st, 2018, 05:21 PM
Definitely brittle

Obsidian
November 21st, 2018, 05:30 PM
My hair is quite dry and damaged from chemicals, there is absolutely no way I can get my fingers through it when wet. Its basically one big tangly blob until I dump a bunch of conditioner in it. I really like hello hydration from herbal essence, its great for dry or damaged hair.

Another really good product is biosilk silk therapy by farouk, its a leave in and kind of pricey but is amazing stuff. My hair dresser used some on me last week and its the best my hair has felt since damaging it. Super soft and not weighed down at all. If I had to pick just one product to use forever, that would be it.

lapushka
November 21st, 2018, 05:40 PM
Yep, get a good deep conditioner or conditioner for dry, damaged hair. It has a nice protein/moisture balance, usually. What Obsidian mentioned, the HE Hello Hydration is one I would recommend - totally. It's good. It has a tiny bit of protein, but also tons of moisture.

Sparkles122
November 21st, 2018, 05:45 PM
I’m going out to get some of that hello hydration conditioner, you girls will have me in the right direction to salvaging my hair and im so thankful for that. I should leave the conditioner on for half hour to hour? Obsidian, I will also look into the biosilk.

PixieNixie
November 22nd, 2018, 06:38 AM
I would also suggest like an ACV rinse to close the cuticle of your hair. The roughness you are feeling is probably your cuticle raised due to the bleach. Bleached hair def needs moisture and protien. Also I would see how your hair responds to oils. See if doing a deep oil treatment with like coconut or olive oil helps soften your hair and make it less tangley.

lapushka
November 22nd, 2018, 09:12 AM
I’m going out to get some of that hello hydration conditioner, you girls will have me in the right direction to salvaging my hair and im so thankful for that. I should leave the conditioner on for half hour to hour? Obsidian, I will also look into the biosilk.

I would add some oil to it, like a tiny puddle, and then mix well and let sit for about 15 min. to half an hour, that should be OK enough. If it hasn't done a thing at that point, you need stronger stuff.

Sparkles122
November 22nd, 2018, 01:00 PM
I have ACV. How do I do a rinse? And Lapushka, what kind of oil should I add to the conditioner? Coconut or olive? I’m giving it a few days before I wash and do this. If this doesnt work what would be stronger?

TheMandaRose
November 22nd, 2018, 09:11 PM
I feel your pain on the regret for chopping your hair off, I cut 8+ inches off mine a couple months ago and I've been regretting was as well.
In my personal opinion i would recommend coconut oil and probably jojoba oil mixed. Coconut oil has protein in it that can help repair the hair and the jojoba oil closely resembles our body's natural oils which is naturally best for healing and protecting your hair. Rosemary and peppermint essential oils are also great for hair health.
As far as acv rinse, my personal suggestion is to make a quart of chamomile or rosemary tea and add in a couple tablespoons of the acv and a couple tablespoons of honey to it after it steeps.
Slather on the oil and conditioner mix, wrap it up in cling wrap and let it sit on your hair as long as you can stand it. After you wash and condition, pour the tea through your hair and let it set while you wash the rest of your body then rinse out the tea.
Just my suggestion :-)

CrowningGlory
November 22nd, 2018, 09:53 PM
I'm just surprised that a hair stylist who is a long time friend would do this to your hair. I would have hoped that long time friends woud understand that some of us love long hair even if it's not their preference. I don't know whether you plan to see this friend again but you might need to arm yourself with some pre-prepared statements to use in reply to her questions or attempts to get you to change your hair.

Sparkles122
November 22nd, 2018, 10:21 PM
I feel your pain on the regret for chopping your hair off, I cut 8+ inches off mine a couple months ago and I've been regretting was as well.
In my personal opinion i would recommend coconut oil and probably jojoba oil mixed. Coconut oil has protein in it that can help repair the hair and the jojoba oil closely resembles our body's natural oils which is naturally best for healing and protecting your hair. Rosemary and peppermint essential oils are also great for hair health.
As far as acv rinse, my personal suggestion is to make a quart of chamomile or rosemary tea and add in a couple tablespoons of the acv and a couple tablespoons of honey to it after it steeps.
Slather on the oil and conditioner mix, wrap it up in cling wrap and let it sit on your hair as long as you can stand it. After you wash and condition, pour the tea through your hair and let it set while you wash the rest of your body then rinse out the tea.
Just my suggestion :-)


I’m completely devastated, I should have thought this through before I did it.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will definitely try that when I wash in a couple of days. Also, if I want to use rosemary oil, I just mix that in with the conditioner?

Sparkles122
November 22nd, 2018, 10:23 PM
I'm just surprised that a hair stylist who is a long time friend would do this to your hair. I would have hoped that long time friends woud understand that some of us love long hair even if it's not their preference. I don't know whether you plan to see this friend again but you might need to arm yourself with some pre-prepared statements to use in reply to her questions or attempts to get you to change your hair.

I am so upset over this. And sadly, no, I dont think she will be doing my hair again. I dont believe I will go back to a hair dresser for a very long time

Jo Ann
November 22nd, 2018, 11:36 PM
Oh, Sparkles, I am so sorry! It's one thing when you knowingly take steps to get the look you want and know what the consequences can be, but a whole 'nother thing when it's done to you without your knowing what can happen!

Two-thirds of my hair is bleached, by my own hand. Yes, I considered what I was doing first and did my research about how to go about getting the look I wanted (I wanted to dye part of my hair fun colors). I took every precaution I could think of (I saturated my hair with coconut oil about two hours prior to doing each one of three bleach baths), so my hair isn't as damaged as it could have been, but yes, I got some damage.

My guides are as follows (and I hope it can help you):

I use non-SLS/SLES moisturizing shampoo on my hair. I will follow it up with two conditioners (and always use HE Hello Hydration as my second conditioner). If my wet hair feels like wet cardboard, I'll do a DT, leaving it in for at least 30 minutes.

When I'm working to fade my hair (and some of the stuff I use is pretty harsh), I use two different conditioners after I rinse my concoction(s) out and then use a DT, because my hair will feel like wet cardboard, especially in the back. I usually use something like Hask Keratin Protein Deep Conditioning treatment and leave it on for 30 minutes to overnight.

After my hair is washed/conditioned or after I rinse the DT out, I use a modified LOC--I use a leave-in conditioner, followed by coconut oil. My HG is Shea Moisture's Strengthen and Restore Leave-in Conditioner (many call it SM's JBCO leave-in here).

As your hair gets longer, start doing S&D on it and/or microtrim it once a month. You won't have to self-trim more than 1/8-1/4 inch at a time, depending on how bad your damage is. If your hair isn't long enough to self-trim, ask your male friends about their barbers; talk to the barber about how much you want trimmed off your ends. You should have better luck getting the trim you want from them than a hair stylist.

I hope this helps you as much as it's helped me! Good luck! :flower:

aethyra
November 22nd, 2018, 11:49 PM
Awesome suggestion above! That rinse sounds amazing too! I am going to try that recipe this weekend!

Addy
November 23rd, 2018, 03:46 AM
I love Hello Hydration. I use it daily.

PixieNixie
November 23rd, 2018, 03:53 AM
I usually just dilute my acv with water but the tea idea sounds awesome! I would also suggest Olaplex if you can get your hands on some. Deep conditioning, protien treatments, olaplex if ya can, acv rinses, and oils are gonna be your best friends. The highlighted parts are going to be more porous than your other hair. They will lose mositure (and protien) more quickly than the rest of your hair. Using the Loc method and leave in conditioners will help keep and seal in that moisture. Pre pooing with oils will also help keep shampoo from stripping out the moisture and protien already in the hair. With a little babying and adopting a little bit different routine, I think your hair will bounce back just fine.

lapushka
November 23rd, 2018, 08:27 AM
I have ACV. How do I do a rinse? And Lapushka, what kind of oil should I add to the conditioner? Coconut or olive? I’m giving it a few days before I wash and do this. If this doesnt work what would be stronger?

You aren't obligated to add it, but it can "boost" up the effectiveness of your conditioner. Any natural oil you have on hand will do. Like olive or so, I would not let the concoction touch the scalp though, so there's that. Ears down is good.

TheMandaRose
November 23rd, 2018, 08:33 AM
I’m completely devastated, I should have thought this through before I did it.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will definitely try that when I wash in a couple of days. Also, if I want to use rosemary oil, I just mix that in with the conditioner?

Rosemary essential oil is so amazing for hair that you can actually add it to any and all of the steps above and it will do your hair good. At the time I was meaning to the pre-poo deep conditioner but it's good for any of the steps or all of them as long as you don't have any kind of allergy.
I failed to mention aloe vera last comment but aloe vera gel would be a fantastic additive to the tea rinse. The tea i described is what I use on my hair at least once a week. It leaves my hair and scalp feeling clean but soft and not frizzy.
I wish you so much luck on healing your hair and I hope you keep us updated on how things are going for you.

Sparkles122
November 23rd, 2018, 02:58 PM
Here’s another question, with proper care will my hair ever “get better”? Or will I have to grow all this damage out for my hair to be normal again?

lapushka
November 23rd, 2018, 03:19 PM
Here’s another question, with proper care will my hair ever “get better”? Or will I have to grow all this damage out for my hair to be normal again?

You only have highlights & dye, so that's not the worst of damage that you can possibly have. I think if you baby it you should be able to grow it out bit by bit (no need for something drastic like a big chop or anything).

Sparkles122
November 24th, 2018, 09:51 AM
I did the hello hydration conditoner and a little bit of oil, let it sit for 20 minutes today and what a difference!!

CindyOfTheOaks
November 24th, 2018, 10:34 AM
Yay !!

lapushka
November 24th, 2018, 01:25 PM
I did the hello hydration conditoner and a little bit of oil, let it sit for 20 minutes today and what a difference!!

That's great. :D And if 20 min. is enough, no real need to go longer! :thumbsup:

I am so happy for you! :flower: