A little rant about hairstylists

[Wravyn]

I went and got my hair cut yesterday -- nothing dramatic, just wanted to clean up my ends -- and, once again, I'm not as happy with the results as I should have been. I basically asked for her to take less than a quarter-inch off, which she did do, but I also asked for some layers in the back to give my hair some more movement. As always, I showed up with a picture to show her what I meant and explained what I liked about it and told her what I didn't want.

After everything was said and done, it looks nothing like what I wanted and I've lost more thickness than I anticipated. She had made a comment that my hair was thick but never asked if I wanted it thinned out. I guess she just decided to take that liberty upon herself. And I didn't think my hair is that thick to begin with! The cut was supposed to be a bob with a few layers in the back, but now that I'm looking at it, it's totally a shag :(

Why does it seem like thickness to hairdressers equates to something bad?

So I guess, does anyone have any other tips that I can try to help me get the cut I want?

[illicitlizard]

The only way I've got consistently good cuts is 1. going to a stylist that's good at their job but also respects my wishes off the bat and 2. building a relationship with said stylist over a couple years of regular cuts. Over time you figure out what you like and what they can do better. She always asked me what I liked and disliked on reflection about my previous cut which was much appreciated. Kept everything on track.

So frustrating about the unwanted thinning though. I think hairdressers are just scared about hair looking 'lifeless' and chunky so they always want to take the weight out. Either way, it's difficult to actually communicate one's wishes when going for a cut at the best of times, let alone with a scissor happy stylist who thinks they know best.

[Stray_mind]

I have to ask....Did the woman in the pic have the exact same hair type and thickness as you?

Most of the time the same cut can look dramatically different on different hair types. I also showed my hairdresser a pic of a haircut i wanted and it looked Nothing like the one in the picture. Luckily for me, the cut suited me just fine regardless.

[spidermom]

I agree that building a relationship with a stylist improves results. It can take awhile to develop clear communication about what does and does not work for you.

Stylists always wanted to thin my hair, too, and I got it done a couple of times because 1) I didn't know how much I'd hate all those ends sticking out and 2) it didn't occur to me to make a point of saying DON'T. Now I know, and I make sure the stylist knows (although my hair isn't so crazy thick anymore so it hasn't been an issue in recent years).

It's important to watch what the stylist is doing at all times. Sometimes I think they go into automatic pilot and start cutting the popular styles that they do on every other person who walks into the salon, or maybe they cut what they think is going to look best on you, betting on the hope that you'll love it and come back regularly to maintain it. I'm not sure. Either way, the sooner you catch the stylist start to do something you didn't ask for, the better.

[Obsidian]

I was also wondering about your texture vs the picture. Whenever I took a pic into a salon, the cut never looked like I was expecting. Took me awhile to realize the hair in the pictures was always quite different from mine. Even if I did manage to find a texture picture similar to mine, my hair lays odd and the cuts still didn't turn out like I wanted.

As far as finding a good stylist, look for a small place that is owner by the stylist. Every time I've been to a chain type salon or just a bigger one with multiple stylists, I've gotten bad cuts. I've also found that if your stylist has longer hair, they are more likely not to try and chop yours into a fancy "style"

[LillyoftheValie]

This is why I taught myself how to cut/trim my own hair! I lost waist length hair because I listened to my hair dresser and got layers in my fine hair. Not ideal for me when my hair is that long!! It ended up so stringy I chopped it. Five years later I am determined to regrow my hair to at least waist length.

I bought my hair scissors 5-6 years ago from walmart for about $10. They're still great and sharp

[nycelle]

I'm sorry you're not happy with the results. I think most of us can relate.

Like others have said though, unless you have the same hair as in the pic, and a stylist who's skilled enough to do it, it rarely comes out the way we envision it.

I think she may have also thinned it because she was trying to get it to look like in the pic. We have to let them know upfront what we don't want them to do. Just showing a pic and giving general directions isn't enough unfortunately.

[blackgothicdoll]

I've never had a stylist give me the haircut i wanted - not even remotely close. I would show them a picture of a pixie cut and end up with a bob. That time I was so mad, I went home, shaved the back of my head, went to a different salon and asked for a pixie cut. They had no other choice but to get it right that time. ;) Then I ask for a trim and end up with a bob. Every time. My hair can be SL, CBL, but I'll leave that salon with an NL bob. It seems that stylists just like bobs on me, but I don't, I look 12.

I would suggest finding a friend you trust (who you know has cut hair before) and have him/her cut your hair. Or ask your friends what stylist they go to. Go to stylists with websites and portfolios where you can view their previous work, and show them multiple pictures at different angles.

I feel you on the thick hair, I get charged an extra $15 thick hair fee which is another reason I rarely go to salons. They won't charge black women if their hair is relaxed, but they will charge if hair is natural. I remember being around 16 when I found this out, I had gone 6 months without a relaxer and they charged my mom extra. They said they would not have charged that if she had ordered a relaxer. My best friend is Chamorro and they also charge her both for thick AND long hair. I honestly think it's shameful, as we don't just wake up in the morning and decide what type of hair we're going to have.

Sorry, bit of a side rant there.

[lapushka]

Why don't you cut your hair yourself from now on? Is there a reason you are still going to stylists? Just wondering, because we are generally well acquainted with self-trimming around here. ;) I'm curious. :)

I'm sorry it didn't go as you had planned. :flower:

[Lady Stardust]

I tell my hairdresser if there’s something I absolutely don’t want, as well as what I do want. I used to bring in pictures if I wanted to change style (including what to avoid!) Luckily my hairdresser listens carefully and is great at communication so she makes sure she knows exactly what I want. If there’s any confusion she’ll get her phone out and we’ll go through more photos as examples. I never get any surprises with her.

Lapushka, how long does hair need to be to self trim, using Feye’s method for example? I’m not planning to try it at my length but I’m curious to know at what lenth it becomes a possibility.

[Spar]

I think one of the problems with bringing in pictures is that usually the hair in the picture is heat styled, has thickening or smoothening products, different hair type/texture, sometimes even extensions etc...
I've done the same thing and my hair *kinda* looked like the picture... But then I figured out that I needed to style and use product to get the look I wanted. I've accepted the fact that most hair photos you see online and on celebrities are carefully styled and photographed.

[Vacurlylady]

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a hairdresser/friend that we enjoyed each other’s company. It got to a point that she would cut and we would catch up and at times I would be frustrated because she was more interested in catching up with each other. But, it was pixie styled and it looked good, just sometimes I would have a different twist in my mind for my style. No worries now I’m growing out the pixie and haven’t seen her in almost a year! And I’m quite sure I would not be happy to sit in her chair now because I’m pleased with my growth!
😃

I, too, have shown hairdressers photos (trying to get the same type of hair style). I would be disappointed most times, not only with the cut but I wanted to “look” like the model with the perfect hair and beautiful face! 🤣🤣🤣 no matter how much magic they could perform, I always ended up looking like me. 🙄

I’m thinking of self trimming from now on.

[SwanFeathers]

I tell my hairdresser if there’s something I absolutely don’t want, as well as what I do want. I used to bring in pictures if I wanted to change style (including what to avoid!) Luckily my hairdresser listens carefully and is great at communication so she makes sure she knows exactly what I want. If there’s any confusion she’ll get her phone out and we’ll go through more photos as examples. I never get any surprises with her.

Lapushka, how long does hair need to be to self trim, using Feye’s method for example? I’m not planning to try it at my length but I’m curious to know at what lenth it becomes a possibility.

I not Lapushka ( and please wait for her response she has way more experience with long hair) but I cut and maintained my own pixie for about three years before joining LHC. Lots of youtube and corrections for mistakes at first but after a few months I had it down. Again stay tuned for Lapushka

[Wravyn]

I have to ask....Did the woman in the pic have the exact same hair type and thickness as you?

Most of the time the same cut can look dramatically different on different hair types. I also showed my hairdresser a pic of a haircut i wanted and it looked Nothing like the one in the picture. Luckily for me, the cut suited me just fine regardless.


Hi, good question!

Yes, I found one that was as similar as possible to my hair type while still maintaining the look that I wanted. I do try to be realistic about what I can actually do when I'm looking for inspiration.

[Wravyn]

Why don't you cut your hair yourself from now on? Is there a reason you are still going to stylists? Just wondering, because we are generally well acquainted with self-trimming around here. ;) I'm curious. :)

I'm sorry it didn't go as you had planned. :flower:

I do want to do that eventually and I have the scissors all ready to go, but my hair isn't quite long enough yet to cut the back without totally messing it up.

[Wravyn]

I've never had a stylist give me the haircut i wanted - not even remotely close. I would show them a picture of a pixie cut and end up with a bob. That time I was so mad, I went home, shaved the back of my head, went to a different salon and asked for a pixie cut. They had no other choice but to get it right that time. ;) Then I ask for a trim and end up with a bob. Every time. My hair can be SL, CBL, but I'll leave that salon with an NL bob. It seems that stylists just like bobs on me, but I don't, I look 12.

I would suggest finding a friend you trust (who you know has cut hair before) and have him/her cut your hair. Or ask your friends what stylist they go to. Go to stylists with websites and portfolios where you can view their previous work, and show them multiple pictures at different angles.

I feel you on the thick hair, I get charged an extra $15 thick hair fee which is another reason I rarely go to salons. They won't charge black women if their hair is relaxed, but they will charge if hair is natural. I remember being around 16 when I found this out, I had gone 6 months without a relaxer and they charged my mom extra. They said they would not have charged that if she had ordered a relaxer. My best friend is Chamorro and they also charge her both for thick AND long hair. I honestly think it's shameful, as we don't just wake up in the morning and decide what type of hair we're going to have.

Sorry, bit of a side rant there.

Wow, I can't believe they charge you that much extra.

Well, the thing that bothers me so much is that I had a great hairdresser before I moved to a new state. Since then, I've been to three different solons in the area and the only one that has come close to getting me what I wanted is like $40+ for a cut and they are always soooo busy that it makes my anxiety go through the roof.

But I totally feel you on the bob problem. I once went to a solon and asked for a really dramatic a-line bob (and again, I had a picture with me), and I got a blunt cut, straight across. I was furious.

[Kalamazoo]

My method for cutting my hair:

This produces a V or U shape.

1. Part it down the middle, from my crown to the nape of my neck.
2. Bring both halves around in front.
3. Comb it all straight down in front of my face, Cousin It style. (If you wear glasses & need them for this, put them on after you get your hair all combed in front of your face. Exactly like Cousin It.)
4. Put 1 rubber band around all my hair, under my chin. (If you have thicker hair, use something bigger, like a scrunchie.)
5. Get the scissors & stand in front of the mirror.
6. Twist the ponytail.
7. Look in the mirror to be sure I'm holding the scissors level, parallel to the floor, at the length that I intend.
8. Just take 1 snip.
9. Remove the rubber band & style as desired.

As my hair gets longer, I envision adding a series of rubber bands below the first one, to keep the hair together & straight, and all the same length, so it would still be possible for me to cut my hair, even it ever gets past floor length (Don't know if it's possible, but :pray:), because I could then pull the end of my ponytail up to where I could stand upright & see it in the mirror, rather than trying to bend over to get to it.

Minimum length to do this haircut is probably about collarbone length.

[Alibran]

Just take 1 snip.

This is why I don't think I can ever cut my own hair. Or if I did, I'd have to do it with garden shears. One snip with professional hair scissors would go through about a quarter of mine.

[MarPreciosa]

I went and got my hair cut yesterday -- nothing dramatic, just wanted to clean up my ends -- and, once again, I'm not as happy with the results as I should have been. I basically asked for her to take less than a quarter-inch off, which she did do, but I also asked for some layers in the back to give my hair some more movement. As always, I showed up with a picture to show her what I meant and explained what I liked about it and told her what I didn't want.

After everything was said and done, it looks nothing like what I wanted and I've lost more thickness than I anticipated. She had made a comment that my hair was thick but never asked if I wanted it thinned out. I guess she just decided to take that liberty upon herself. And I didn't think my hair is that thick to begin with! The cut was supposed to be a bob with a few layers in the back, but now that I'm looking at it, it's totally a shag :(

Why does it seem like thickness to hairdressers equates to something bad?

So I guess, does anyone have any other tips that I can try to help me get the cut I want?

I wish I knew! Unfortunately, I think the only thing a person can do is try your best to find someone you can trust and who is a good listener. It's terrible that it was thinned out without your permission - and I agree with you - what's bad about hair being thick? Isn't that a good thing?

[lithostoic]

I've never gotten what I asked for in a salon. I could say NO LAYERS and walk out with layers. As a teen I was less argumentative with people older than me but now idgaf who you are if you mess up my hair I'm not paying!

Also every hairdresser tells me "you have so much hair!" which I find strange with my pony circ of 3 inches.

[Ju]

I'm so sorry this happened :(

I remember growing up, my mum used to take me to this hairdresser who always used thinning scissors so much that it drove me nuts! Even when I finally realised that they were the reason my hair was never at its full thickness, which was what I wanted, and asked her to stop, she kept doing it! I honestly don't even know what my hair is like at full thickness with a blunt cut and all hair one length - I started self trimming because no matter what I said to hairdressers, they always cut chunks of the thickness out. Hopefully on my journey now I will finally find out...

I have no idea why hairdressers hate thickness so much, its so weird! But every hairdresser I have ever seen has noted a) that my hair is naturally quite thick and b) told me how we could 'solve' that. I grew up hating thick hair, now its all i want, wahh :(

[lapushka]

I tell my hairdresser if there’s something I absolutely don’t want, as well as what I do want. I used to bring in pictures if I wanted to change style (including what to avoid!) Luckily my hairdresser listens carefully and is great at communication so she makes sure she knows exactly what I want. If there’s any confusion she’ll get her phone out and we’ll go through more photos as examples. I never get any surprises with her.

Lapushka, how long does hair need to be to self trim, using Feye’s method for example? I’m not planning to try it at my length but I’m curious to know at what lenth it becomes a possibility.

I was APL, I think.

[Kalamazoo]

This is why I don't think I can ever cut my own hair. Or if I did, I'd have to do it with garden shears. One snip with professional hair scissors would go through about a quarter of mine.

Alibran! What a beautiful mane you have! ... Yeah, I'm so used to having thin hair, I never think of such things.

[Lady Stardust]

I not Lapushka ( and please wait for her response she has way more experience with long hair) but I cut and maintained my own pixie for about three years before joining LHC. Lots of youtube and corrections for mistakes at first but after a few months I had it down. Again stay tuned for Lapushka


I was APL, I think.

Thank you both :) I think I’ll need to wait until I’m not worried about losing length in case I mess it up! If my hairdresser was giving me terrible haircuts or not listening to me I might try sooner, but she isn’t :) The only reason would be to save money.

Wravyn it sounds like you did everything you could have done, maybe it just wasn’t the right hairdresser for you. At shoulder length I found that the layers grew out pretty quickly so you might be able to get it looking more bob shaped at the next appointment (unless you’re trying self trim but it does sound more difficult at our length).

[MoreSky]

Same experience here with overzealous thinning shears, so I learned to self-cut and trim in my 20s. I love my thickness! Learning to self-trim takes patience and practice but it's so, so empowering. It's freedom from that anxious unknown of what you may end up with at a salon. It may sound daunting at first, but there are a lot of great resources and methods to help. One self-trim experience builds on the next, and you'll gain confidence as you go.

The other thing is I have learned to stay away from online and magazine hair images (*except LHC*) as goals because they all seem to be the same thickness, even when searching for, say, "thick and wavy bob." Even after scouring the internet, the images may show wavy, but nope, they're not thick. It makes me think that perhaps hair stylists are taught that most styles will only work at a specific thickness or that thickness is a problem that must be solved. The only place I have seen images of healthy and happy thick hair is here at LHC.

[Twig]

I guess I got lucky when I went to Great Clips in early October. The stylist was awesome, didn't do a hard sell for a hair mask (which worked splendidly), and I left happy.

[joyknights]

I never let a hairstylist cut my bangs anymore. I told her to trim it, but I ended up having this look. From that day on it's just me and my aunt that trims and cut my hair. I need to go to work wearing a clip or a turban as I kinda look funny with the bangs.

https://i.postimg.cc/59Fq70z6/picture.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[cjk]

Same experience here with overzealous thinning shears, so I learned to self-cut and trim in my 20s. I love my thickness! Learning to self-trim takes patience and practice but it's so, so empowering. It's freedom from that anxious unknown of what you may end up with at a salon. It may sound daunting at first, but there are a lot of great resources and methods to help. One self-trim experience builds on the next, and you'll gain confidence as you go.

This. So much this.

I've always enjoyed going to the barber. (I'm male) And I enjoy having my hair cut, even sheared down. It can be thrilling.

But when my childhood barber retired, I started a seemingly endless search for his replacement and never found anyone remotely suitable. Pompadour, businessman's taper, Caesar, buzz, even flattops. And none could cut both well and consistently.

It was the lack of consistency that drove me the craziest.

Finally ended up training a personal barber. Twice weekly...short cuts need a lot of maintenance.

And even with that, I enjoyed the barbering experience. In fact I found out that I enjoy barber bouncing...trying new shops and embracing the inconsistency. But that was possible only because I am an excellent barber, able to fix their work if need be.

Self-styling can be very empowering. Particularly when your own cuts are this precise.

https://i.imgur.com/ZgCQb6i.png

[sophia_]

I never let a hairstylist cut my bangs anymore. I told her to trim it, but I ended up having this look. From that day on it's just me and my aunt that trims and cut my hair. I need to go to work wearing a clip or a turban as I kinda look funny with the bangs.

https://i.postimg.cc/59Fq70z6/picture.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

My mom cut my hair exactly like this when I was a kid lol, now I guess it's a "trend!"

[MsKafka]

Seriously though, every hairstylist that ever made a comment about how thick my hair is ended up thinning it out (some with thinning shears) despite the fact that I had asked them for a straight cut (no layers, no thinning, no "framing"). I definitely feel ya on that.

My advice, ask to get your hair cut dry. Wash your hair really good beforehand (night before or day of, as long as there's enough time for it to be fully dry by your appointment time) and honestly, I have loved this ever since I started asking. Especially when thick hair gets wet, it can be very easy to overcut or underestimate how much it will shrink up once dry (and not weighed down by water/moisture). Additionally, if I want an inch cut, I ask for 1/2 inch and go from there. Much easier to 1) see the gradual change to what you want and 2) see what they consider 1/2 inch, one inch, etc...

And, as everyone has said, look for a stylist that respects what you ask for. After a bad perm and long term ill use of GoBlonder spray, my hair was destroyed (still recovering), and I have already been to like 5 different hair stylists in the past 3 months. Don't stay with a stylist who won't listen to you.

[Ylva]

I think one of the problems with bringing in pictures is that usually the hair in the picture is heat styled, has thickening or smoothening products, different hair type/texture, sometimes even extensions etc...
I've done the same thing and my hair *kinda* looked like the picture... But then I figured out that I needed to style and use product to get the look I wanted. I've accepted the fact that most hair photos you see online and on celebrities are carefully styled and photographed.

A good hairdresser will point that out instead of letting the customer believe that his or her hair has a chance of looking like that.

[MsKafka]

A good hairdresser will point that out instead of letting the customer believe that his or her hair has a chance of looking like that.

This is why I love my current stylist, mostly because he tells me "no" sometimes lol. I have quite a few Tufts of damaged hair that had broken off from a bad perm and I asked if he could cut them to look like straight across bangs and thus more intentional (they drive me crazy sometimes) and he gave me this look and said "absolutely not". Intead, he suggested more layers and a little bit of gentle grazing on them to make them look intentional as "side swept bangs" and not straight across (or else they'd be shorter than poor Emma's bangs in the previous posts).

[Wendyp]

Hairdressers really messed up my hair, my before and after in 1 year shows it. I took lapuska as recent advice and learned how to self trim. Spidermoms method works for me I can’t do the one behind my back. now I don’t need a salon for any reason. Haven’t been in many months now.

[sophia_]

I've only been to a hairdresser a couple of times in my life, I don't recall it being a memorable experience. Pretty much as soon as I found LHC I bought scissors and started trimming, first I used Feye's method but I now can use Lucy's where you bring it around in front with just your hands and slide down.

[Wravyn]

I never let a hairstylist cut my bangs anymore. I told her to trim it, but I ended up having this look. From that day on it's just me and my aunt that trims and cut my hair. I need to go to work wearing a clip or a turban as I kinda look funny with the bangs.

https://i.postimg.cc/59Fq70z6/picture.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

Oh, my goodness. :surprise: I could totally see how you would be disapointed if this wasn't the look you were going for.