When people ask if your hair is “real”

[Milkchocolate]

Silly thread but I was very curious what everyone’s thoughts were about this question.

Has anyone ever asked you if your hair was “real?”. And how did you feel about it?

I get this on almost a daily basis and I just don’t know what to think haha.

If/ when people ask you this, do you consider it an insult or a compliment?
I find myself juggling between the two. Insult meaning the hair looks “fake”..or compliment because it’s too good to be true ? ;)

I’m so curious to see how others feel about this!

*EDIT* posted in the wrong section and reuploaded to mane page :(

[Milkchocolate]

Silly thread but I was very curious what everyone’s thoughts were about this question.

Has anyone ever asked you if your hair was “real?”. And how did you feel about it?

I get this on almost a daily basis and I just don’t know what to think haha.

If/ when people ask you this, do you consider it an insult or a compliment?
I find myself juggling between the two. Insult meaning the hair looks “fake”..or compliment because it’s too good to be true ?

I’m so curious to see how others feel about this!

[lapushka]

Gosh no, I never had that. I did have someone pull my hair, though, decades ago, from the back, because they thought it was a wig, which I found super rude and probably done without thinking it through, because what if it had been and it had come off? Then what? :(

[AmaryllisRed]

No one has ever asked me that. I guess my hair looks real? Haha. Also I've got four kids and a healthy amount of RBF so no one ever really says anything to me, especially not about my hair. :)

I guess I would take it to mean it's too good to be true. You can't really know how they mean it so might as well take it as a compliment, right?

[MusicalSpoons]

A colleague asked me that once when I was wearing my hair down in rag curls*. She'd never seen my hair out of a bun before and it turned out she hadn't even noticed that it was always in a bun, so we had a good laugh about it. (The several hours of detangling with copious amounts of conditioner that evening made me wish it wasn't real and that I could just take it off though :lol: )

*For World Book Day; I'd never choose such an impractical style ordinarily. And never will again!

[VenusianMane]

I never had that happen to me, but I think if it did I'd be offended :lol: IDK why, I just think it would be like that, I guess if a situation is ambiguous like that I tend to assume the worst
Oh but many years ago pre-teen me exclusively wore my hair in a ponytail held by a claw clip and one day I wore my hair loose (maybe it was then I stopped doing that altogether, and now I wear my hair loose almost all the time)
My piano teacher got astounded by my hair, asking me if I had it done, and I got all offended and angry just said "No."
I don't know why I reacted like that, maybe because I wasn't very fond of her and maybe I was specifically mad at her for some reason on that day
And I have a history since childhood of getting offended when people laugh at me, making remarks and things like that, so...

But if someone asked if my hair was real nowadays, I guess I would just internally get low-key offended, maybe :lol:
All this wasn't supposed to sound depressing or something like that :lol:

[Alila]

Random person: "Is your hair real?"
Me: "No, it's an illusion. If you touch it it will dissapear"

I feel like the phrasing "is you hair real" just screams "make fun me". XD

Though to be honest asking "is that your hair?" Isn't any better. If I wore extensions or a wig it would still be my hair because it would be my wig.

But I guess expecting people to articulate what exacly they are asking is to much XD

My little tangent aside, I usually take it as a compliment, thank then and get on with my life.
I can see how getting asked the same thing every day would get really irritating though.

[joyknights]

I have a long black hair and some people did ask me if the color natural and if it real. I am not offended at all, but it's funny how they see it as a wig since I am half Asian. Coloring it is not my thing, I prefer wearing a synthetic hair to create some effect. I just leave it as it is most of the time. Black as the ebony like Snow White but its not curly.

[simoneymonie]

I frequently hear "is that all your real hair?", especially when I wear braids or exotic styles. I always respond with a light 'yep! it's all mine'. I think it's more complimentary than insulting.

[nycelle]

I've only been asked if my color is natural (have lots of highlights.)

Extensions (and wigs) are so popular here that no one blinks an eye anymore. But if you look closely, there are signs, not always, but a lot of the time you're able to tell if it's real or not.

[Deborah]

I think it usually means that your hair looks fake or weird, so I would not feel complimented.

[Dark40]

No one When someone asks me if my hair is real I wouldn't feel complimented either. I would take it as an insult. I hate it when a person asks me if my hair is real. They should be able to see if it's real or fake. Where I live extensions are very popular.

[lithostoic]

Yeah, because of the color (when dyed), because of having layers, and because of having dreadlocks. It's been a common question in my life. Even as a toddler people used to ask my mom if she bleached my hair. Of course not wtf!

[blackgothicdoll]

It's my goal for people to ask me if my hair is real. If someone thinks my hair looks so good I paid for it, I'd take that as a compliment.

[JennGalt]

I get asked occasionally. In my eyes, it means someone thinks I paid for hair like this—on purpose! I wouldn’t, but that’s another matter.

There’s also the myth that people with any black heritage can’t grow long hair. My frizz/new growth is usually enough to give away the fact that I have some African ancestry, but during the winter when my skin is a lighter shade of tan, or if my hair is straightened or hanging down brushing my lower back that can cause some confusion. Which usually leads to questions about my ethnicity (or mixture thereof) and whether my hair is real. I don’t mind such questions as long as the person asking is not being deliberately rude about it.

[Ylva]

I would take it as a compliment. I think it means people don't expect others to have the patience/skill/knowledge/whatever to grow that long hair. Of course they could be thinking something negative, but if they are, then who cares. A stranger is only going to think about your hair for a maximum of like one minute, so it really doesn't matter how they feel about it.

[lucid]

I think it usually means that your hair looks fake or weird, so I would not feel complimented.

Nah. I think it's the opposite.

Irl, random positive or neutral comments are more common than random (on purpose) negative comments. People generally don't like making others feel bad. Think about how many people actually answer questions like "do you like my new jacket" or "do you think this suites me?" honestly, most people would not say no even if they didn't like it or didn't think it suited them, to not offend the other person. I tend to answer such questions in an honest way, and it has gotten me in so much trouble growing up :p

I think comments such as "is your hair real?" most often would be said with either positive or neutral intentions. If it was said in a negative way, body language or tone of voice would probably give it a way. It's in the same category as "your hair is long!". It's most often said as a compliment or simply as a fact because hair as long as that isn't common.

[lucid]

I would take it as a compliment. I think it means people don't expect others to have the patience/skill/knowledge/whatever to grow that long hair. Of course they could be thinking something negative, but if they are, then who cares. A stranger is only going to think about your hair for a maximum of like one minute, so it really doesn't matter how they feel about it.

Well said!

[JennGalt]

I would take it as a compliment. I think it means people don't expect others to have the patience/skill/knowledge/whatever to grow that long hair. Of course they could be thinking something negative, but if they are, then who cares. A stranger is only going to think about your hair for a maximum of like one minute, so it really doesn't matter how they feel about it.

^^^Great point! Sometimes I get other follow up questions or comments because I have unusual hair (I guess...), but even then, there’s no point in caring what strangers think :)

[JennGalt]

Gosh no, I never had that. I did have someone pull my hair, though, decades ago, from the back, because they thought it was a wig, which I found super rude and probably done without thinking it through, because what if it had been and it had come off? Then what? :(

Intentionally rude or not, it definitely wasn’t well thought through. If some random person snuck up from behind and tried that with me they’d end up with a broken arm or kicked in the groin.

[*Wednesday*]

I haven't had anyone verbalize it. But then again my hair is always up. Honestly, most times you can tell when hair is fake because the color and texture or not seamless. Most times a lot of extensions look ratchet because people are trying to get it done as cheap as they can.

[blesseddamozel]

When I had waist length hair a few years ago I had a few people ask and I always took it as a compliment, people seemed to say it in a kind way not like they were making fun of me or something. At the time hair extensions were super popular in my area.

[illicitlizard]

I understand it may be an annoying comment, but I reckon it's usually meant to be a compliment.

Saying 'wow is your hair real' meaning not extensions/a wig means it probably looks really good. The person commenting likely thinks it's amazing that you've managed to have such long healthy hair as it's not all that commonly seen (assuming you're in a country where long hair is indeed not that common).

[Milkchocolate]

I think for me, it’s in the way they say it. Some sound very sincere and astounded, but then I’ll hear the occasional murmuring behind my back that doesn’t sound very nice.
Sort of like , when you get something on your body augmented. For ex: your lips, bum, etc...Perhaps it looks a little “exaggerated” but it still looks nice..to the point if they question if it’s “natural”? Lol I’m the worst at explaining stuff

[Milkchocolate]

It's my goal for people to ask me if my hair is real. If someone thinks my hair looks so good I paid for it, I'd take that as a compliment.

I could relate to this! :) I had the same mindset years ago haha

[AutobotsAttack]

I get that more times than I can count. Espeacially here in Houston, Texas.

“Is that a weave?” Or “are those extensions?”. Are usually what I get asked. Obviously it’s my own hair. My hair color is natural too I don’t dye it, but most African american women typically expect Afro Textured hair to be a very dark shade of brown, almost black.

In my neck of the woods, weaves, extensions, and wigs are extremely common. And they look very realistic because they’re entire YouTube channels dedicated to learning how to slay a wig, a 27 piece install, and weaves.

On one hand I don’t give a rats, on the other it’s irritating. If there’s a compliment somewhere in there, I’ll take it. But still.

[Alissalocks]

Dude, challenge on! I am now living for the day I get asked this question....

[squirrrel]

Closest I have got is the manager who saw it down for the first time in a while, and asked if I had meant for it to get this long. She instantly realised how silly the question was, and continued that of course I did. I agreed, and moved on. She just hadn’t realised how long my hair had got, and was rather surprised.

[Hexen]

Is my hair real?
No...its not..
Neither is the scalp of which its attached to.
Nor the skull which gives shape to the scalp.
The brain inside the skull....its faux as well...
Matter of fact.....nothing is real.
This is the "Matrix"..... :p

[Rosetta]

I feel like the phrasing "is you hair real" just screams "make fun me". XD

Though to be honest asking "is that your hair?" Isn't any better. If I wore extensions or a wig it would still be my hair because it would be my wig.

But I guess expecting people to articulate what exacly they are asking is to much XD
To be honest, this isn't even up there (or even near) among the stupid things people can and do ask & say ;) It's baffling, the kind of things people feel are ok to ask or to say to someone...

[Joules]

I was only asked if my hair color was real (henna), and the girl who asked me this initially thought it was real, but then after a few weeks she saw regrowth and realised it wasn't. I took it as a compliment, because it meant my hennaed hair looked natural, and it was exactly what I wanted. I don't want to have an obviously fake color on my head, it's just not me.

In terms of length, the day I get this question for the first time would be one of the best days of my life :D like someone already said, it means someone would pay a lot of money to have hair like this! Why wouldn't anyone take it as a compliment?

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I once got the question "Wow, did all that hair come out of your head?" :p:

[ArabellaRose]

I think because we dedicate ourselves to our hair, and tend to know more about it, we're more able to identify when someone is wearing a wig or extensions, so it would certainly seem more of an insult.

However, lay people won't have that skill, they might see a beautiful head of long hair and be unable to distinguish between real hair and extensions/wigs. That's not an insult on their part, they just don't know what to look out for.

[Brittny]

I relate so hard to this thread! I often wear my hair in buns to keep out of the way so it looks like I have about BSL hair. However, when I feel a little confident I may do a drop bun or wear my hair down which is usually when I get those questions! I've even had close high school friends ask if I have always had that hair or if it is real. I used to take it as an insult because I assumed they were implying my hair looked fake, but now it sort of makes me giggle at how surprised people can be about hair.

Clearly we all must have otherworldly hair :flower:

[spitfire511]

I once got the question "Wow, did all that hair come out of your head?" :p:

Hahahahah - Sarahlabyrinth that's hilarious! Did they get a blank stare in return?

I've only ever been asked if "that's my natural color" and I get that a lot... but I'm only MBL - so not to an 'astonishing' length yet.

Like someone else said - people aren't thinking about you for more than like a minute anyway - so I try not to let comments like this move my needle too much in either direction!

[elsiedeluxe]

I once had a colleague who didn't know me very well ask where I got my hair done. I told her where I got it cut, and she said, No, I mean the color. Her hair was a similar shade to mine, and she was looking for a colorist. (I guess maybe it's hard to do dark ashy blond in a way that looks natural?) Anyway, she was astonished when I told her my color was all natural. She assumed that because I was in my late 30s, I must have some white and gray hair (she had lots) so was really surprised to learn I had none. I'm now 50 and still have no white or gray hairs (or at least, none that I can reliably find. From time to time I will find one, but then when I go looking for it again, I can't find it.)

ETA: in this case I was both offended (that she didn't know me well enough to know I wouldn't color my hair, which is silly in retrospect) and delighted (that she thought my hair color was done by someone who really knew what they were doing). I told a good friend about this a few weeks later, and she said yes, I can see why someone might think that you had very expensive hair coloring done. That pleased me very much, I will admit.

[Ligeia Noire]

Is my hair real?
No...its not..
Neither is the scalp of which its attached to.
Nor the skull which gives shape to the scalp.
The brain inside the skull....its faux as well...
Matter of fact.....nothing is real.
This is the "Matrix"..... :p

You have the best replies :p


I get the "is that all your hair/is that your real hair" probably once a week. It is all pretty much on a positive-surprised note...back at home no one questioned anything but my colour. Everyone thought I had highlights done or something. When I've only been to the hairdresser a handful of times in my teens and not even fantasy temporary colours ever touched my hair but I don't know if they believed me... I have fun with those inquires though.

[Sora Rose]

Never been asked, personally, but I'd probably take it as a compliment. All the remarks I've heard about my hair - very few, in retrospect - were positive, so I'd be inclined to think in that direction anyway.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Hahahahah - Sarahlabyrinth that's hilarious! Did they get a blank stare in return?

I've only ever been asked if "that's my natural color" and I get that a lot... but I'm only MBL - so not to an 'astonishing' length yet.

Like someone else said - people aren't thinking about you for more than like a minute anyway - so I try not to let comments like this move my needle too much in either direction!

They did... :p

[spidermom]

I find it saves my feelings if I assume people mean things in the nicest possible way. I've never gotten the "is it real?" question. The closest would be people asking if I did my braid myself. I just say "I did!"

[ravenskey]

I have been asked if my hair's real and if I do it myself.

The first was a compliment as they followed up with an "it's so long!" though I did have to wonder if they knew how extensions are attached as my hair was in multiple french plaits at the time and tracks etc. would have been visible.

As for the do I do my own hair - *sigh* I am a 17 school student. How exactly am I supposed to have someone do my hair every morning before I come? And if you think my parents have time for that, think again.

[school of fish]

Seems to me the intent behind this question might really depend upon prevailing culture :)

Whenever I've gotten this question - which isn't very often - it usually takes on a 'wow - that's your real hair, isn't it?' kind of tone. Differences are fairly normalized where I live and generally tolerated, so I haven't really seen too much by way of hair judginess, relatively speaking. That stands for extensions too - I don't sense where I live that people are particulary judgey about hair that's augmented by extensions, weaves, wigs, what-have-you.

My own experience has been mostly a reaction of surprise over length that is a little longer than average in these parts, that's all :)

[Joules]

As for the do I do my own hair - *sigh* I am a 17 school student. How exactly am I supposed to have someone do my hair every morning before I come? And if you think my parents have time for that, think again.

LOL I was getting the same question when I lived alone away from home, and the people who asked me this knew I lived alone. I was always like "what the hell, who else do you think did this? The Ghost of Christmas Past?".

[cjk]

For me it's the beard, and yes I've been asked if its real more than a few times.

Asking to feel it, stroke it, or pet it is fairly common. And so long as they ask I'm fine with it.

Only once, outside of a competition, have I been touched without permission. He was a middle aged man who came up to me, grabbed hold, and starts yanking on my beard. Not a gentle tug, yanking. It hurt.

[cjk]

For me it's the beard, and yes I've been asked if its real more than a few times.

Asking to feel it, stroke it, or pet it is fairly common. And so long as they ask I'm fine with it.

Only once, outside of a competition, have I been touched without permission. He was a middle aged man who came up to me, grabbed hold, and starts yanking on my beard. Not a gentle tug, yanking. It hurt.

[christib13]

Literally any time someone compliments my hair, they preface it with "is that your natural/real color?" I think it's mostly because my hair is red, but not the quintessential "ginger" red, and my eyebrows are significantly darker than my hair. People also will start off by asking where I get my hair colored or what kind of dye I use. My sister gets the same comments because her hair is strawberry blonde and her eyebrows are as dark as mine. Once someone even asked her if she dyed her EYEBROWS. And I've had people try to look very closely at my roots, basically to see if I'm lying.
We both choose to take it as a compliment, haha.

[Hairkay]

I don't get asked if my hair is real. I have been asked if all that hair is mine and there's, "Is that your hair". What would happen if I said no, it's my clothes? My cousin gets asked if her hair is real or if she's wearing a wig. There have been times when people just had a surprised expression when they saw my hair. That's mostly to do when I changed hair styles or seeing my hair change from dry to wet.

[sophia_]

Long hair is common where I live, classic and beyond isn't that rare, but I've been asked once, oddly enough on a visit to California. I guess the question surprised me so I just said "What?" and walked away, lol. I do get asked if the color's real or if I straighten it, though.

[Corvana]

I'd get that comment with my virgin hair back in high school (it was a gorgeous auburn color that I now wish I still had :laugh: Too bad I didn't appreciate it then!), and of course when I had fashion colors. Haven't yet recently, and don't expect to for at least another year.

But my answer has always been a very cheerful, "Yep! I grew it myself!"