Split ends VS uneven, scraggly, dry ends?

[FineMiracle]

Bear with me as I try to understand the basics of hair, cause I've been really confused lately and it looks like I was wrong on something pretty basic...I have a very difficult time being objective with my hair, and tend to form misunderstandings about it pretty easily.

So it seems to me as though there are two growing stages in terms of its appearance. The first is actually reaching to your desired length with your "lead" hairs, the second is filling out at that length. Does that make sense? Because my hair was to my waist around 5 months ago, but I trimmed it myself all the way to BSL since I wanted a more blunt looking cut. It looks much thicker at the ends compared to my first stage of growth to BSL.

I'm happy with it now, and I want to keep growing and fill out at waist length at some point. I don't want any more cut off. But I was recently told by a stylist that I had split ends and needed to get another trim.

This made me slightly paranoid and, for some reason, when I searched my ends for splits, I searched through little chunks of hair rather than single strands. Since there are a bunch of uneven strands at the ends, I would take a chunk, examine it closely, and think it was a bunch of splits that traveled up far. But it was a chunk stuck together that gave the appearance of a massive, tree-like split end. The thing is, my hair is very fine, and it's harder to see the strands individually. But I just spent hours in the bathroom examining numerous SINGLE strands of hair, from top to bottom, separating all chunks, and couldn't find a single split end. I feel so dumb that I didn't look at each hair individually. I didn't understand what a split end was apparently. >_>

So I think my stylist is wrong and was actually referring to the fact that my ends have that scraggly, dry, uneven look (but the cut itself is still blunt overall). I honestly don't think it's that bad? Maybe? When I baby them, they get softer but they're still a bit dry. I really don't want to lose length, I'd much rather have a little dryish ends to baby (and natural uneven ends that don't look so bad) compared to a bunch of splits I thought I had, which I apparently don't. I know I need to baby up my ends more, but splits themselves are the real monster, right?

Has anyone else had a stylist who told you that they needed to trim off your "dead/split" ends even when you didn't have splits?

[lapushka]

Some people don't need to "fill out", it just grows evenly for them. Others do. It is up to you whether you maintain and microtrim and keep up with the hemline and bluntness of it, or whether you go for length as we call it.

Your hairs will never be all one length as it has to do with the growth cycle of each individual hair. So give that up, it's not gonna happen.

How long has it been since you heat styled and did damaging things to your hair, because it is like starting from a shaved head.

Stylists will very quickly and easily say that ends are "dead" because a hemline is less "even". We have something here that we call fairytale ends, which are the wispy bits at the end; nothing wrong with these ends.

The best thing when having "velcro" or difficult ends is to clarify-wash and deep condition; will usually solve a lot!

It is a shift in how you think about hair, that's for sure, from listening to stylists to listening to what we all say here.

[TreesOfEternity]

I think stylists would cut the last 5 inches of any of us' hair right now lol, the fact that she called splits what just was dry or sliiightly thinner ends says a lot in my opinion. If I were you I wound't worry and would just keep on taking good care of your hair as it sounds you are already doing :)

[lapushka]

I think stylists would cut the last 5 inches of any of us' hair right now lol, the fact that she called splits what just was dry or sliiightly thinner ends says a lot in my opinion. If I were you I wound't worry and would just keep on taking good care of your hair as it sounds you are already doing :)

Actually, that would not be far from the truth! Often something is said jokingly that can be quite serious. I think I would lose 5 inches, for sure. So that is why I don't go to stylists.

OP, have you ever heard of Feye's self-trimming method? It is a method a lot of us here use for blunt and even cuts. You cannot go wrong with this method.

I will link it below; go have a look!
https://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

[Alissalocks]

Baby those ends and ditch the stylist! It's their job to cut hair so of course they want you to come back and get your hair cut, right? I'm lucky to have found a stylist who is 1. An actual friend and 2. A trained hairdresser, so she knows how I am with my hair.

Even still, I only get a cut from her about every 2 years now that I'm a LHC longhair. I trim myself if so compelled, microtrimming may be a great solution to your ends. And cheaper, since you can do it yourself.

Some folks talk about their ends getting "Velcro-ey" with extreme length, and sometimes it's worse if you have any texture to your hair. Mine is 1a, stick straight, so it behaves differently, so while I can't offer advice, I'd encourage you to listen to the "experts" at the salon less and do more research, here and elsewhere, to feel empowered to make those decisions for your own hair care. :cheer:

[lapushka]

Some folks talk about their ends getting "Velcro-ey" with extreme length, and sometimes it's worse if you have any texture to your hair. Mine is 1a, stick straight, so it behaves differently, so while I can't offer advice, I'd encourage you to listen to the "experts" at the salon less and do more research, here and elsewhere, to feel empowered to make those decisions for your own hair care. :cheer:

Yes, very good advice! :) And this forum offers a wealth of info; and if you need to know something, just ask us (we have a lot of experience between us all), and not your hairdresser.

[Joules]

Some folks talk about their ends getting "Velcro-ey" with extreme length, and sometimes it's worse if you have any texture to your hair. Mine is 1a, stick straight, so it behaves differently, so while I can't offer advice, I'd encourage you to listen to the "experts" at the salon less and do more research, here and elsewhere, to feel empowered to make those decisions for your own hair care. :cheer:

This!

I stopped listening to the bs hairdressers say almost a decade ago. My hair has improved a lot. Of course there are great stylists out there who love and cherish their clients' hair, but searching for one can take you years and years. It's sooooooo much easier to do everything yourself (unless you want blonde or rainbow hair, in which case it's better to go to a professional).

I personally see nothing bad in scraggly and uneven ends, as long as they don't bother you. My ends are reasonably healthy (very little splits and white dots) but very tapered, if I showed them to a hairdresser they would be hysterical :D does it mean I need to be hysterical too? Nah, I don't think so.

[*Wednesday*]

OP....Are your ends really as bad as the salon/stylist says? They probably aren't as bad as she/he makes it seem. Unless you had some bad chemical damage. A lot of us grow with an unevenness, taper or a taper traveling with the length on the journey downward. It doesn't = have to be cut off. I understand a stylists position, they want to cut the hair that is there forte. However, I'm not in need for their services. Unless a stylist appreciates long hair and says you are crazy to cut long beautiful hair, they are willing.

[Ylva]

My hairdresser said she'd gladly chop my hair up to BSL to make it look "healthy". Because, and I quote her, "it doesn't look healthy when your ends consist of three hairs". But in the end, how many hairs there are has nothing to do with the actual health of your mane. I didn't have anything cut off and I will microtrim on my own time when the time comes. :)

[ArabellaRose]

I've been quite lucky with my recent stylist. On my first appointment she asked me what I wanted doing and when I told her I just wanted to lose an inch or too to get rid of the split ends she replied "Oh thank god, if you told me to cut all this off I would have tried to stop you!". She's been great in helping me with my hair growth, so much so that I don't even need to see her anymore.

[ArabellaRose]

My point being it sounds like you might need a stylist who is more supportive of your journey. If you're personally happy with the health of your ends then you should keep doing what you want.

[lemonlife]

To original poster:
Uneven hemlines put some/many hairstylists into a panic state. What we call "fairytale ends" here, they call "dead ends" or "split ends" or something equally scary sounding. There's a difference between fairytale ends and split ends. You have the right understanding of it. The stylists most likely with don't have a true understanding of what split ends are, or might really dislike the "fairytale ends" look, or simply feel helpless when you sit in their chair and ask for a micro trim on uneven hair (I don't know if they train for that in beauty school).

[Corvana]

Bear with me as I try to understand the basics of hair, cause I've been really confused lately and it looks like I was wrong on something pretty basic...I have a very difficult time being objective with my hair, and tend to form misunderstandings about it pretty easily.

So it seems to me as though there are two growing stages in terms of its appearance. The first is actually reaching to your desired length with your "lead" hairs, the second is filling out at that length. Does that make sense? Because my hair was to my waist around 5 months ago, but I trimmed it myself all the way to BSL since I wanted a more blunt looking cut. It looks much thicker at the ends compared to my first stage of growth to BSL.

I'm happy with it now, and I want to keep growing and fill out at waist length at some point. I don't want any more cut off. But I was recently told by a stylist that I had split ends and needed to get another trim.

This made me slightly paranoid and, for some reason, when I searched my ends for splits, I searched through little chunks of hair rather than single strands. Since there are a bunch of uneven strands at the ends, I would take a chunk, examine it closely, and think it was a bunch of splits that traveled up far. But it was a chunk stuck together that gave the appearance of a massive, tree-like split end. The thing is, my hair is very fine, and it's harder to see the strands individually. But I just spent hours in the bathroom examining numerous SINGLE strands of hair, from top to bottom, separating all chunks, and couldn't find a single split end. I feel so dumb that I didn't look at each hair individually. I didn't understand what a split end was apparently. >_>

So I think my stylist is wrong and was actually referring to the fact that my ends have that scraggly, dry, uneven look (but the cut itself is still blunt overall). I honestly don't think it's that bad? Maybe? When I baby them, they get softer but they're still a bit dry. I really don't want to lose length, I'd much rather have a little dryish ends to baby (and natural uneven ends that don't look so bad) compared to a bunch of splits I thought I had, which I apparently don't. I know I need to baby up my ends more, but splits themselves are the real monster, right?

Has anyone else had a stylist who told you that they needed to trim off your "dead/split" ends even when you didn't have splits?

This reminds me of when I was younger and a hairstylist held up my ends in front of me and said "look at all of these split ends!" and she meant that they split from each other and didn't lay smoothly together, and not that they were split from themselves tearing up the strand. And I thought for yeeeeeeeeaaaaars that because my ends never laid smoothly together (hello, wavy hair!) they were split and needed to be cut.

My ends now she would definitely call split, but there are very few actual splits! They're rough and velcro-y and I do need a trim, but not for the reason that hairdresser said.

[FineMiracle]

Thank you so much for the responses guys! Incredibly helpful. I gave my ends some major TLC like I've never done before, and I can't believe how soft they feel. My hair in general has never felt this soft (Maui Moisture works amazingly for my hair). Because of the stress I've been dealing with in my life, I wasn't deep conditioning enough. Haven't done that in ages actually. I definitely don't have splits either, and to be quite honest I'm not even sure that I had splits when I chopped my hair to BSL. Super excited to just keep growing and taking better care of moisturizing my ends from now on. :D


I understand a stylists position, they want to cut the hair that is there forte. However, I'm not in need for their services. Unless a stylist appreciates long hair and says you are crazy to cut long beautiful hair, they are willing.

This is absolutely true. I also felt kinda bad because I really only wanted a tiny trim, and didn't want her to do anything to my hair once I heard her response to my question about its health. She simply said I need my ends cut off. I think hairstylists tend to be what I like to call "happy hackers" since the majority of what they do is cut hair all day, so they may be subconsciously biased towards shorter hair for no reason other than it's just what they do. I hope to find a hairstylist one day who is into hair of all types and is conservative with length. I have never seen a single hairstylist with hair longer than BSL length. :rolleyes:

[Dark40]

There are always going to be stylists out there wanting to cut our hair. That's their job. I agree with TreesOf Eternity. If i were you I wouldn't even worry about the stylist. Keep growing your hair as you are, and take good care of it.

[Dark40]

Thank you so much for the responses guys! Incredibly helpful. I gave my ends some major TLC like I've never done before, and I can't believe how soft they feel. My hair in general has never felt this soft (Maui Moisture works amazingly for my hair). Because of the stress I've been dealing with in my life, I wasn't deep conditioning enough. Haven't done that in ages actually. I definitely don't have splits either, and to be quite honest I'm not even sure that I had splits when I chopped my hair to BSL. Super excited to just keep growing and taking better care of moisturizing my ends from now on. :D



This is absolutely true. I also felt kinda bad because I really only wanted a tiny trim, and didn't want her to do anything to my hair once I heard her response to my question about its health. She simply said I need my ends cut off. I think hairstylists tend to be what I like to call "happy hackers" since the majority of what they do is cut hair all day, so they may be subconsciously biased towards shorter hair for no reason other than it's just what they do. I hope to find a hairstylist one day who is into hair of all types and is conservative with length. I have never seen a single hairstylist with hair longer than BSL length. :rolleyes:

I'm so happy for you that you've babied those ends, and have deep conditioned them. I have heard a lot of wonderful things about Maui Moisturizing products!!! I've been wanting to try them myself. I bet before you went in to have your hair trimmed you didn't even need one to begin with. You probably didn't even have any splits. All you need to do from now on deep condition and keep your hair moisturized more often. That helps my ends a lot. I tend to get dry ends all of the time, and when i do that's when I do a DT or a deep conditioning.

[Joules]

This reminds me of when I was younger and a hairstylist held up my ends in front of me and said "look at all of these split ends!" and she meant that they split from each other and didn't lay smoothly together, and not that they were split from themselves tearing up the strand. And I thought for yeeeeeeeeaaaaars that because my ends never laid smoothly together (hello, wavy hair!) they were split and needed to be cut.

My ends now she would definitely call split, but there are very few actual splits! They're rough and velcro-y and I do need a trim, but not for the reason that hairdresser said.

That just once again shows the lack of knowledge a lot of hairstylists have when it comes to hair health. It's quite depressing.

I also hate when they call uneven or dry ends "dead". Hello! Hair is dead by definition, and what you're seeing can be multiple things, like natural taper, protein overload, hard water buildup, plain and simple lack of moisture, etc. All those things can be solved without scissors if you're willing to spend a teeeny tiny bit more time and effort on your hair care.

[Dee94]

The best thing when having "velcro" or difficult ends is to clarify-wash and deep condition; will usually solve a lot!

Hey, Lapushka. What's a good clarifying wash? (I mean, I know what it is) Can you name a good shampoo or so that'll clarify without all the bad silicones and such? I have a clarifying shampoo, but, have been scared to use it after learning (still learning) about the good and bad types of silicones and such...

The clarifying shampoo I have is called: Paul Mitchell Shampoo Two

Ingredients list:

Aqua (Water, Eau), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Chloride, Cocamide MIPA, Panthenol, Hedychium Coronarium (White Ginger) Flower/Leaf/Stem Extract, Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Leaf Extract, Algae Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Anthemis Nobilis Flower Extract, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid, Polyquaternium-44, Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose, Bisamino PEG/PPG-41/3 Aminoethyl PG-Propyl Dimethicone, PEG-12 Dimethicone, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Magnesium Chloride, Magnesium Nitrate, Parfum (Fragrance), Limonene, Benzyl Benzoate, Citral, Linalool.

[Corvana]

Hey, Lapushka. What's a good clarifying wash? (I mean, I know what it is) Can you name a good shampoo or so that'll clarify without all the bad silicones and such? I have a clarifying shampoo, but, have been scared to use it after learning (still learning) about the good and bad types of silicones and such...

The clarifying shampoo I have is called: Paul Mitchell Shampoo Two

Ingredients list:

Aqua (Water, Eau), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Chloride, Cocamide MIPA, Panthenol, Hedychium Coronarium (White Ginger) Flower/Leaf/Stem Extract, Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Leaf Extract, Algae Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Anthemis Nobilis Flower Extract, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid, Polyquaternium-44, Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose, Bisamino PEG/PPG-41/3 Aminoethyl PG-Propyl Dimethicone, PEG-12 Dimethicone, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Magnesium Chloride, Magnesium Nitrate, Parfum (Fragrance), Limonene, Benzyl Benzoate, Citral, Linalool.

I'm not a fan of silicones (they weigh my waves down too much), and I use Suave Daily Clarifying. I don't know if it's available where you are, but silicone free clarifying shampoos exist!

[lapushka]

Hey, Lapushka. What's a good clarifying wash? (I mean, I know what it is) Can you name a good shampoo or so that'll clarify without all the bad silicones and such? I have a clarifying shampoo, but, have been scared to use it after learning (still learning) about the good and bad types of silicones and such...

The clarifying shampoo I have is called: Paul Mitchell Shampoo Two

Ingredients list:

Aqua (Water, Eau), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Chloride, Cocamide MIPA, Panthenol, Hedychium Coronarium (White Ginger) Flower/Leaf/Stem Extract, Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Leaf Extract, Algae Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Anthemis Nobilis Flower Extract, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid, Polyquaternium-44, Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose, Bisamino PEG/PPG-41/3 Aminoethyl PG-Propyl Dimethicone, PEG-12 Dimethicone, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Magnesium Chloride, Magnesium Nitrate, Parfum (Fragrance), Limonene, Benzyl Benzoate, Citral, Linalool.

I use Pantene Aqua Light but that shampoo has been discontinued in a few countries now. The Pantene volumizing one is equally good. Both +sulfates -silicones.

The shampoo you listed is quite OK too (the EDTA is clarifying), even though it has 2 silicones in it - it's not that big of a deal.

[MusicalSpoons]

I use Pantene Aqua Light but that shampoo has been discontinued in a few countries now. The Pantene volumizing one is equally good. Both +sulfates -silicones.

The shampoo you listed is quite OK too (the EDTA is clarifying), even though it has 2 silicones in it - it's not that big of a deal.

Those 2 silicones are technically water-soluble, though how the hair reacts in reality is another matter. To me the ingredients looks like it's trying to be a moisturising clarifying shampoo; I'd think it should be fine Dee94 :)

[Dee94]

Those 2 silicones are technically water-soluble, though how the hair reacts in reality is another matter. To me the ingredients looks like it's trying to be a moisturising clarifying shampoo; I'd think it should be fine Dee94 :)


Awesome, thanks for getting back to me everyone! :)

[Ilyem]

Usually hairdressers don't actually know what split ends are. They use it as a buzz word to scare people into getting regular haircuts. That obviously makes them more money. It seems to me that you don't have the issue of split ends but rather that they are dry and if you say that that is not an issue for you then I wouldn't worry about it. S&Ding every now and again is still a good idea though.

[lapushka]

Usually hairdressers don't actually know what split ends are. They use it as a buzz word to scare people into getting regular haircuts. That obviously makes them more money. It seems to me that you don't have the issue of split ends but rather that they are dry and if you say that that is not an issue for you then I wouldn't worry about it. S&Ding every now and again is still a good idea though.

I never S&D. I look at my hair, before I detangle pre-wash, and I never find anything on first glance, so I leave it be. I am big on benign neglect. ;)