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View Full Version : I cut it all off :( And I regret it so much!!! Just need some support I guess



Of the Fae
September 19th, 2018, 01:29 PM
I should have known I'd regret it, but I thought about it for months and cut it off a little more each time just as is advised here. First to MBL, then to shoulder a few weeks later and after a month I decided to cut it short. I was so happy with the results the first few weeks! I felt amazing. But now I am in the "oh my god, what have I done?"-phase... I have a short cut now, like short sides and a longer lock on top. It looks nice on me, I get a lot of compliments, it's practical.. but man do I miss miss miss my butt length hair.. I did the exact same thing five years ago and I can just punch myself for making the same mistake twice. And then it was from BSL.. Now it will take me FIVE years to get back to where I was... I just feel so miserable thinking about the incredible amount of time it will take:( I just kept getting split ends and did not have the energy and time for maintaining my very tick and fine hair.. but I should have never cut it this short. I thought I made the right decision but turns out it's like every time I cut my hair I regret it. It took forever to get where I got and I just threw it out the window :(

cjk
September 19th, 2018, 01:45 PM
Think of all the styles you can wear at the various lengths! I'm excited for you.

Stray_mind
September 19th, 2018, 01:56 PM
I am sorry about your regrets, i know how it feels.

But focus on the positives. Now you can go trough every stage of regrowth and get excited about new milestones!

Nothing can be done now except growing it back. Try to enjoy the hair as it grows. You did it once, you can do it again! :flower:

nycelle
September 19th, 2018, 02:03 PM
I've seen short look look fab on people, so good that it makes me jealous. Then today when I was walking my bulldogs, I saw a lady with hair past her butt. But it was just *there*, there was nothing special about it and it didn't flatter her at all. The length was the only thing that got my attention, but it didn't impress me.

My point is, You said it looks good.. and to me, that's the most important part - having it look good regardless of the length. So try not to be so sad over it and look at the positive, that you have a style that looks great on you.

CreatureBailey
September 19th, 2018, 02:10 PM
I'm sorry honey. :( I get how that feels. Maybe if you had a lot of splits your hair will regrow stronger now? Also, there's things I believe you can do to speed the growth up, like scalp massaging. It sucks tho, regret is one of the worst feeling ever, I totally get you. It's hard to do but the only thing you can do now is to look forward. Also, I've gone through a long growth stage, and it seems like yesterday my (now ex) best friend purposely ruined my hair, it seemed like I blinked once and I went from being absolutely devastated at what happened, to where I am now!

Once you're at your destination, the time in the middle seems like it was just a dream and that you're finally there. You'll wake up one day and remember today, and you'll be all like ''heh, it's over now''

We're all here with you, and we all care about you and your journey :grouphug::blossom:

elfynity
September 19th, 2018, 02:40 PM
just think, you have so much information on hair care that you can grow it back to be the healthiest it will ever be. You knew you were sick of those splits and that is why you cut your hair, try remember why you did this. If you went back in time, you would do the same again probably. It will grow back alot quicker than you think, and you are still young (compared to me!). You have also learnt that you prefer long hair, so this has just solidified that, that's great. You can move forward with determination and really, just enjoy what you have now, because Isuspect that once you have it long, you are probably never going to cut it this short again.

Ylva
September 19th, 2018, 02:48 PM
I agree with elfynity. Now with all the new knowledge you have, your new growth will be so healthy and stay healthy. You could take it as a challenge to test different hair growth methods and record your results for comparison.

I used to really want to be at my goal length already, but then I came to think about it, and came to the conclusion that the growth part is half the fun. Sure, there's a lot to do when you're at your goal length, too, like thickening your hemline if that's what one is going for, or growing out damage, but the growth part is just really exciting, seeing yourself with longer and longer hair every month.

Enjoy how practical your hair is now, because time will fly by faster than you expect. Your hair might actually gain length faster now than in the past with all your accumulated knowledge.

lapushka
September 19th, 2018, 03:06 PM
Oh, I've been there. Not that that helps. :(

Take it one little step at a time, and go milestone to milestone; you'll see it goes faster that way (at least mentally, and you focus less on it). Good luck regrowing the hair. You have to stay positive. You will get there!

Nightshade
September 19th, 2018, 03:18 PM
:grouphug: I'm so sorry. Sending you good thoughts for fast growth.

Mademoiselle
September 19th, 2018, 03:48 PM
Do not worry, you know that now you are going to have a lot of patience, my best advice is simply that you love your hair, whatever length you have, it is very nice and it feels very good. If someday you wake up without patience, there is one thing that helps me, look at photos on the internet of the same length of hair you have, you will see that it is beautiful! all styles are, so enjoy your style now and enjoy each stage, that's nice too.:blossom:

Arciela
September 19th, 2018, 04:10 PM
Aww I am so sorry about you feeling the regret :( Hoping it grows back fast for you! :flower:

spidermom
September 19th, 2018, 05:16 PM
I know that time often seems to go slowly - a day can last forever at times! But really, time flies. By the end of 5 years, you will hardly believe how fast it went. I ran into some pictures from 2012 a couple of days ago, and honestly - it seems like only months ago, not years ago.

Try not to think about all the things you miss about your long hair. Think about all the things you can enjoy now and try out in the future. That's what I do. I know that if I had never cut back to shoulder length, I'd still be obsessing over it, so I'm glad I did it.

Blondie Locks
September 19th, 2018, 07:20 PM
Awwww, hugs! :heart:

Iíve totally been where youíre at, years ago when I was pressured into cutting it off. Never again. I just hope you werenít pressured into it. Nobody should ever tell someone else to cut their hair...even if it is damaged. Itís a totally personal choice and not for anyone else to say.

I bet it still looks gorgeous though. Iíve seen some beautiful shorter hair styles. It isnít the length of hair that makes it beautiful....just keep that in mind. Itís how well itís cared for and loved! ♥️

The good news is...IT WILL GROW BACK! :cheer:

So this is only temporary. Think of all the fun you will have watching it grow and grow and grow. The journey is half the fun! Chin up, chest out. Keep smiling and looking beautiful, girl. :flower:

Blondie Locks
September 19th, 2018, 07:24 PM
I know that time often seems to go slowly - a day can last forever at times! But really, time flies. By the end of 5 years, you will hardly believe how fast it went. I ran into some pictures from 2012 a couple of days ago, and honestly - it seems like only months ago, not years ago.

Try not to think about all the things you miss about your long hair. Think about all the things you can enjoy now and try out in the future. That's what I do. I know that if I had never cut back to shoulder length, I'd still be obsessing over it, so I'm glad I did it.

Excellent post, spidermom. Very positive. :) There is so much wisdom and truth in what you are saying. I am shocked myself at how fast the years pass.

postpixie88
September 19th, 2018, 08:16 PM
I'm sorry you're going through this right now! I've been there before, though I I didn't start at such a long length. Something that helped me was looking at other people's blog posts or videos about they "journey" growing out a pixie cut. It was nice to see people doing the same thing I was trying to do, and gave me ideas about how my hair could look at each stage. I tried to think of it as getting to try a bunch of new haircuts. Instead of growing you hair out, trying a cut at one length, then repeating for various possibilities, you get to try them all on the way to your goal length!

I know it can feel difficult and frustrating often, but try not to get wrapped up in how long it's taking to grow it out. Focus on all the other stuff going on in you life between your length milestones, and it'll feel like the next milestone arrived much faster!

Dark40
September 19th, 2018, 08:50 PM
I'm so sorry for your regret. I've been there before. One time I had MBL hair, and then I chopped it all off up to my shoulders, and grew it back out to MBL again. But don't worry. Your hair will grow back to your butt in no time. :)

paulownia
September 19th, 2018, 11:36 PM
I know the feeling .. I cut my hair from BSL to bob in 2013 and I didnít manage to regrow it in those last 5 years , trying to grow - cutting again. Getting past shoulder length is really hard because my hair looks usually awful at this awkward stage.
You will get your hair back in no time. Hang in there :) you will always get support here on LHC :)

VersLaLumiŤre
September 20th, 2018, 12:01 AM
Aw I feel for you Fae! We've all been there where we've done something we regret. Time passes quickly. It doesn't always feel like it day to day when we have a goal, but one year will pass just like that and then another and another and suddenly it's been five years already and we wonder where the time has gone. That's how it works in retrospect. This incident will just be one incident, one day in the grand scheme of life. The bigger picture awaits :)

Please do not forget this one fact - healthy, well-cared for hair is really beautiful at ANY length - recently I've seen a couple of gorgeous heads of shiny, healthy hair no longer than collarbone. Not super long, but still the quality of their hair made them stand out. And in the meantime it will be an exciting process to watch your hair grow through the many phases, especially with the knowledge you already have about growing and maintaining long hair. Happy growing and enjoying your hair :flower:

Deborah
September 20th, 2018, 12:30 PM
Remember that :

1. Your new haircut looks good on you.

2. You get a lot of compliments on your new haircut.

Hold on to those thought so that you can enjoy the hair you now have.

Kake
September 20th, 2018, 01:43 PM
That's too bad. I'm sorry you feel like that, it really sucks, I know.

But often threads like this are also about the poster hating the new haircut, so at least you have that positive.

Hang in there, it's growing already :knit:

Xan
September 20th, 2018, 08:28 PM
We are here for you, done it my self you will be back in no time just have to take your mind off it.

EssleyBlue
September 21st, 2018, 08:18 AM
I've done that a lot. from MLB to Chin and back and forth for years. I love the freedom of short hair, being able to stand in the wind and not freak out about my hair tangling, not getting headaches from ponytails or braids. Perhaps you can enjoy that part now. Like others have said, you have all the tools to grow a spectacular head of healthy hair.

If long hair is truly super important to you, this would be an excellent time to write a letter to your future self, 5 years from now. Tell her how you feel now and the regret. And then put it away. When your hair is long and you feel the urge to cut, take out the letter and read it, then make a decision. Good luck on your journey. There really is no right or wrong.

Milady_DeWinter
September 21st, 2018, 09:40 AM
I've been there... When I was 13 I give myself a pixie (!!!), and took me so many years to grow it, as I keep cutting.

But you'll be where you want in a heartbit, even if now it doesn't look like that. Life is too short not to enjoy your hair, short or long... And it also compliments you, so you are starting from something good.

BTW, I've just started watching the show Line of Duty and the main woman character has a pixie, and I love love love how it suits her! In fact, to me, a longhair, my MOST FAV cut is a reverse bob. I had it in my teens, but my thick curly hair made me straight it all the time so it'd look good... So, I've got to have my hair long so it looks ok with my features AND type of hair. Pixies doesn't compliment me either, so I think that you're very lucky because it works for you.

PS: I second the idea about the letter to your future you!

nikittyy
September 21st, 2018, 03:08 PM
I feel you on this. Every time I achieved the length I'm at now, which is like, barely BSL, I would go get a "trim." However, I'd always somehow walk out of the salon with slightly longer than CBL hair. I would get so, so frustrated but I'm assuming they were doing it because they could see all of the breakage I had from using heat tools or something. However, I am kind of considering doing the big chop to get my hair to grow out healthy again, but know I would regret it. I get what you're feeling, but maybe this could be an opportunity to grow it out again and have the chance to baby your hair and take amazing care of it?

lapushka
September 21st, 2018, 04:00 PM
I feel you on this. Every time I achieved the length I'm at now, which is like, barely BSL, I would go get a "trim." However, I'd always somehow walk out of the salon with slightly longer than CBL hair. I would get so, so frustrated but I'm assuming they were doing it because they could see all of the breakage I had from using heat tools or something. However, I am kind of considering doing the big chop to get my hair to grow out healthy again, but know I would regret it. I get what you're feeling, but maybe this could be an opportunity to grow it out again and have the chance to baby your hair and take amazing care of it?

I would join the microtrimming threads on here; no need for a big chop, as you can get rid of the damage slowly and without denting your growth!

Of the Fae
September 23rd, 2018, 03:43 AM
Thanks all so much :) Your comments have given me more hope. Also, I've started wearing a ribbon in my hair that makes it seem longer due to hiding the shorter side parts. It looks nice and I think I can keep this up until it's long enough to wear in a bun. Then I might join the wear your hair up challenge: one of the reasons I had so much damage is I think that I wore it down too much. I can't really do that with my hair type at longer lengths because my hair is very fine.
The letter tip is a very good one, thanks lovely people <3 Also, I've decided to enjoy the fact that my hair needs no combing or brushing to be detangled for as long as it lasts :P Looking at older pictures from the last time I had my hair cut this short, which was in 2013, made me see that in 6 months the longer parts will be around the bottom of my neck- or perhaps even at shoulder. Looking at pictures of different options while growing out a pixie have definitely helped as well. I agree with you all that I can now try all the things that my hair was too long for at hip/tbl.
I'm starting my journey anew and with a fresh perspective!

Blondie Locks
September 23rd, 2018, 03:04 PM
Thanks all so much :) Your comments have given me more hope. Also, I've started wearing a ribbon in my hair that makes it seem longer due to hiding the shorter side parts. It looks nice and I think I can keep this up until it's long enough to wear in a bun. Then I might join the wear your hair up challenge: one of the reasons I had so much damage is I think that I wore it down too much. I can't really do that with my hair type at longer lengths because my hair is very fine.
The letter tip is a very good one, thanks lovely people <3 Also, I've decided to enjoy the fact that my hair needs no combing or brushing to be detangled for as long as it lasts :P Looking at older pictures from the last time I had my hair cut this short, which was in 2013, made me see that in 6 months the longer parts will be around the bottom of my neck- or perhaps even at shoulder. Looking at pictures of different options while growing out a pixie have definitely helped as well. I agree with you all that I can now try all the things that my hair was too long for at hip/tbl.
I'm starting my journey anew and with a fresh perspective!

Great attitude! :thumbsup:

Alissalocks
September 23rd, 2018, 10:27 PM
Big hugs and try to find the peace again... it will be so much healthier this time, and you get to hit milestone really fast for the next year or so! :flower:

kph12
September 25th, 2018, 01:59 PM
I'm right there with you! I've had long hair for ages but early this year decided to cute it to right above my collar bone. I loved it until mid-june/july and now i'm in fully blow "I WANT MY HAIR BACK" mode. It's depressing to think about how long it will take to get back to where I was but in some ways I'm excited because I know a lot more about taking care of my hair now and I think it will grow back much healthier and more beautiful than before...

But for right now, I'm not even at APL and it's such an awkward length.

MemeAimee
October 5th, 2018, 10:47 PM
I have too done this too many times! Just recently I had BSL completely virgin hair and two months ago I bleached it all because I thought I wanted a change. It's extremely hard to fight that feeling, especially when you have the means to change your hair your hair at home ... It's hard to come to terms with the regret, but don't dwell on it. Since you can't change the past, just move forward with your hair journey. <3

lapushka
October 6th, 2018, 02:57 PM
I have too done this too many times! Just recently I had BSL completely virgin hair and two months ago I bleached it all because I thought I wanted a change. It's extremely hard to fight that feeling, especially when you have the means to change your hair your hair at home ... It's hard to come to terms with the regret, but don't dwell on it. Since you can't change the past, just move forward with your hair journey. <3

I used to "react" to things on impulse and then take it out on my hair. Ever since reaching BSL all virgin here, I grew on and never had that impulse again, instead I started buying all sorts of products to take care of my hair like stylers for the LOC/LCO method (see signature if you're curious, it's for styling wavy hair). I sort of put that energy somewhere else, and now I have a stash of products. LOL! ;)

But it's hard because every year during spring I would get this "itch" to do something with my hair, and I don't know. All of a sudden it was gone and I decided to go with healthy hair. It took me 10 years to reach classic all virgin. I messed about / experimented with all sorts of dyes and colors and even henna and indigo and all kinds of lengths, went back to chin twice, to BSL once again, and... well, no wonder it took me 10 years, right? But... I got there.

And you can do it too! :flower:

Kat-RinnŤ Naido
October 7th, 2018, 08:47 AM
Sending good vibes and a hug. Enjoy this phase and take it one day at a time.

LillyBlossom
October 7th, 2018, 05:53 PM
Im sorry you're sad about your hair, if it makes you feel any better I had a bad experience at a hair dresser where I asked for a tiny trim and ended up with a bob, and not a long bob, a regular bob, I was furious and it took so long to even reach my shoulders again. I don't trust hair dressers anymore

Margrit
October 7th, 2018, 06:00 PM
I don't trust hair dressers anymore

The same here!

blesseddamozel
October 7th, 2018, 11:28 PM
I don't trust hair dressers anymore Thirding this notion. Haven't been to a formal salon in years.

But, Of the Fae, I totally get where you're coming from. I had beautiful waist length hair in high school and as soon as I graduated I did so much damage to my hair- frequently bleaching the entire length, totally shaving parts, just taking poor care overall....Once I woke up from that phase in my life I had to do a big chop. I swore that I'd take better care of my hair and lo and behold the results have been awesome! I can confidently say this is the healthiest and thickest my hair has ever been. So just focus on the positive!! Use this as an opportunity to take the absolute best care of your hair. It'll take time but the results will be worth it :) sending good thoughts your way

LillyBlossom
October 8th, 2018, 12:26 AM
Thirding this notion. Haven't been to a formal salon in years.

But, Of the Fae, I totally get where you're coming from. I had beautiful waist length hair in high school and as soon as I graduated I did so much damage to my hair- frequently bleaching the entire length, totally shaving parts, just taking poor care overall....Once I woke up from that phase in my life I had to do a big chop. I swore that I'd take better care of my hair and lo and behold the results have been awesome! I can confidently say this is the healthiest and thickest my hair has ever been. So just focus on the positive!! Use this as an opportunity to take the absolute best care of your hair. It'll take time but the results will be worth it :) sending good thoughts your way

blesseddamozel can I ask how you cut your own hair? I'm just learning so sorry if this is an annoying newbie question!