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shaluwm_agape
September 15th, 2018, 03:01 PM
Thought this would be a fun question to ask. It crossed my mind while reflecting the other night. How has your perception of yourself/how has others perception of you changed since growing your hair? Be it for those on the journey or those already at their goal. Just curious

lapushka
September 15th, 2018, 03:37 PM
Hmm. :hmm: It hasn't changed one bit. I don't think my hair plays that big a role in my perception of myself, TBH.

MusicalSpoons
September 15th, 2018, 03:46 PM
I used to see myself as a girl with long blonde hair. Once I came here, I started to think of myself as a longhair - I always have been a longhair at heart, but didn't have the words to articulate it before :grin: and I also feel like I can call myself a longhair now that I actually have a decent knowledge of haircare, whereas before I knew nothing, except to use conditioner and not use hairties with the metal bits on them.

I have had a few people (literally a few, about 3 or 4) ask me about growing long hair since I've learned things from LHC and my hair has grown longer; before, I used to wear my hair down occasionally at work and nobody ever asked my advice :laugh: it was always between hip and TBL then so it was still long, but I guess now the length is a rarer sight (around here, anyway, especially on a white woman) and my hair itself is more rarely seen too. But as for people's perception of me in general, fewer people actually know I have long hair because it's now virtually always in a bun!

Wendyclaire
September 15th, 2018, 04:20 PM
I’ve been growing my hair for about 4 years now and it’s middle back with all the layers gone, finally! I had short hair for a few years but it really wasn’t me. I’m 64 and I always get “When are you going to grow up?” And I’d find copies of short hairstyles on my desk once in a while! I wear it down or in a pt off on one side. Don’t hate me but I can’t stand buns. I just don’t think they look good on anybody. I think having long hair is such a cool thing. Love it!

shaluwm_agape
September 15th, 2018, 06:06 PM
These are cool and interesting. Thanks for sharing ��

Glitch
September 15th, 2018, 06:57 PM
Oh man, it really changed for me over time. I remember multiple occasions where I'd have to run an errand with wet hair, and the very terrible feeling that would rush over me as my damaged, fried hair dried into random wavy patterns (never knew a thing about wavy hair back then). I would just feel so insecure, and even more so if someone complimented my different looking hair on those days because I really did believe they were backhanded compliments - that's how bad it was haha!

Now that my hair is pretty much at my goal length, and a lot healthier, I don't even bother with heat styling and sometimes I let it dry without doing anything to it. It looks really nice (I would never have thought this in the past!) and I don't have to even worry about it. It's no longer a significant part of my perception of myself and in the best way possible :)

Julescarm
September 15th, 2018, 07:10 PM
Having longer hair has given me confidence. The feeling of hair swishing down my back causes me to move more gracefully. When I'm stressed I notice I stop to detangle or adjust my hair and it makes me feel better. It gives me a moment to collect myself. Plus I get nice compliments from it.

Katsura
September 16th, 2018, 05:33 AM
No, I don't feel it has. I guess I'd need a lot more hair for that. :D

cathair
September 16th, 2018, 05:45 AM
Reactions to anything other than the blue colour in my hair are really poor. So I suppose it hasn't improved the perception of myself at all, it's probably worsened it. On occasion makes me feel skanky. So up it stays! :)

I do have the long hair feels right feeling, which I guess is why it's still here.

ravenskey
September 16th, 2018, 07:03 AM
I've always had a few people compliment me on my hair which was nice but now that I really care for my hair I feel more like I've earned it. Thinking back to last year, it makes me wonder how anyone thought it looked good. As someone who can have problems with commitment, putting in the effort to keep me hair nice makes me proud.

Corvana
September 16th, 2018, 02:11 PM
Now that I've got proper framing for some past problems, and have taken steps to fix them, I feel a little more confident about my hair which leads to more confidence in general. I don't think of myself as someone with rough frizzy weird hair that has to be hidden right after it's washed until it calms down anymore, and that's done quite a bit for my self-esteem!

As for others, I don't know? I don't particularly care, either LOL. Perhaps I give off the vibe of being a bit obsessed with hair, because I do like to talk about it and give tips and such... :hmm:

Doreen
September 17th, 2018, 12:12 AM
I don't think my perception has changed all that much, but I used to just wash and not condition and didn't have much interest in haircare; sometimes even saw it as a chore. Now I find it very relaxing and look forward to my wash days and the act of brushing and braiding it, trying new styles, etc. can be really calming for me.

People might view me as a bit vain or overly attached to it, and they sometimes comment that it must be a lot of work to maintain, but I don't see it as work because I enjoy it. Maybe that's corny but it's true. If I had short hair or no hair, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I would genuinely miss taking care of it like I would miss having a garden if I were to move to an apartment.

ArabellaRose
September 17th, 2018, 04:14 AM
I do feel like my hair is part of my identity. I've had short hair in the past and I'll never go back, it's not a good look for me and I love my hair the way it is now.

When you're a redhead, who was bullied for being so as a child, it's difficult for it to NOT be a part of your identity. Especially as you grow up and learn to appreciate it, accept it, love it and own it. I've let go of all the taunts and negativity and learned to see it as a positive. I get compliments on my hair, both for the colour, as well as the length and texture.

I love my ginger hair, the more I have of it the better.

njrb
September 22nd, 2018, 09:38 AM
This might be a bit more extreme for me as a guy who had short hair for the first 30 years of his life.

For me, long hair is just more me. It's not that I wasn't me prior to growing my hair out, but with long hair I feel like myself. I also look right. I just look more like how I would picture myself with long hair. I also enjoy being able to express myself or my mood through how I choose to style my hair. I would be missing something if I were to cut my hair.

As for other people, it's been interesting. People freaked out at first and couldn't stand it. Over time they have come to accept it and I think they identify me with long hair now and it would probably really throw people off if I went back to short hair. I do feel like people take me less seriously on occasion or think that I will be more laid back than I am.

Aerya
September 22nd, 2018, 10:41 AM
I like to think of myself as rather down to earth, at least when it comes to appearance, but after messing up my hair several times and also struggling with hormones wreaking havoc on my skin, I must admit that my perception of myself overall is very much tied to appearance. I feel naked and incomplete, sort of, with short hair, and with a lot of visible damage I feel as if my every bad decision is being broadcasted for the world to see. Now, I have had my fair share of issues, and my hair became a bit of a punching bag for my inner turmoil, so that explains why I feel so strongly about that. I feel as if once I have a full head of long, healthy virgin locks, that will be a way of showing the world that I made it.

And also I just feel a lot prettier with long hair, you know. I feel more feminine, more grounded.

Estrid
September 22nd, 2018, 10:49 AM
Hmm, well, yes.

A few things has changed while growing my hair out, first thing that went was probably the thought that my hair was thick. Maybe it is by Scandinavian standards, but it definitely isn't here, haha. I'm alright with being normal thickness, though, but it took a while to get used to not viewing myself as having thick hair, I think I even denied it for a while.
Another thing that has changed is how I view my hair in general. Before I joined here and started to grow it *for real* I didn't care at all about it, I would cut it off myself with a kitchen scissor to ear length if I felt like it.
A third thing that has changed is how I'm now OK with looking like a dull, strict, old fashioned teacher (which I thought and still think I look like with all my hair pulled back out of sight). I think that has more to do with me getting older than my hair growing longer though, haha.

Doreen
September 22nd, 2018, 11:17 AM
For me, long hair is just more me. It's not that I wasn't me prior to growing my hair out, but with long hair I feel like myself. I also look right. I just look more like how I would picture myself with long hair. I also enjoy being able to express myself or my mood through how I choose to style my hair. I would be missing something if I were to cut my hair.

I feel this too. I don't think I would look terrible with short hair, but I wouldn't really look like "me" so to speak.

shaluwm_agape
September 22nd, 2018, 05:03 PM
These are sooooo great.
I feel like the longer my hair grows the more I realize about myself. Everything about me has been tied to appearance and standards of others and I honestly needed that to stop I'm no where near perfect but I am getting there and I hope my hair can help me express that if that makes sense

lithostoic
September 22nd, 2018, 06:18 PM
I can have long pretty hair and still be a tomboy.

M3DUS4
November 1st, 2018, 03:38 PM
since I've been growing out my pixie into a bob, I've had to deal with disliking the way my hair looked (even though I was proud of its health and length) during the year-long awkward stage. I find that I am a lot more self-conscious, but not... in a bad way? I'm more aware of how I look, even down to tiny details like whether I put lipstick all the way to the edges of my lips, but I no longer really worry about what other people think.

I used to never be able to go to the gym without a full face of makeup and carefully styled hair... now, I'm numb to feeling dowdy. I'm like 'ahh whatever, I look a mess anyways, might as well not worry about it' and waltz in with my rosacea and my hack job bob without a care in the world

it's pretty freeing, but it'll be nice when the hack job grows out and I can feel cute again

Sid0rela
November 1st, 2018, 03:56 PM
I feel so lucky i started caring about hair.
It taught me patience, a lot of patience. And its still teaching me patience.
I respect my hair a lot more now, and i feel like its as interesting as it was taking care of my skin when i had acne.
I remember i was obsessed with my skin, and skincare in general i actually taught a lot of things about it that people around me didnt know so they would ask me about different stuff and advice. Now that my skin is clear (hopefully i dont jinx it) and it's been for 6months,i turned my attention to hair and im so glad i did.
Now i know lots of things about taking care of hair, and i have a lot other to learn. But i feel like if i like something i show it a lot, and friends and family ask me about haircare now, cuz i talk so much about hair lol.

embee
November 1st, 2018, 04:26 PM
I feel more comfortable in my skin. No longer is it necessary to worry about how my hair looks (it usually looked pretty poor before it was long enough to be up) and that is a great boon. :)

In fact, having a Mean Old Library Lady look has given me immense freedom and a personal style that is not frustratingly difficult for me to follow. Not expensive either. :)

blesseddamozel
November 1st, 2018, 05:04 PM
As far as self perception goes I feel a lot more confident and I feel very proud of myself for being able to have the patience to grow it. I had a couple year period where I just went crazy with radical hairstyles- shaving big parts, dying the rest every unnatural color under the sun....I can't say I regret it yet I don't think that kind of hair was really "me." Since those years weren't great for a lot of reasons I hold a correlation between me chopping and hacking at my hair with not being content in my life. Now that my hair is starting to resemble more what it looked like during brighter times I feel much more comfortable in my skin. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it's just how I feel.

The way others perceive me has been a lot more positive than in previous years. When I was in my wild phase I got a lot of nice comments about my hair/looks and but a lot of cruel ones as well. Now that it's behind me I have to admit I remember the cruel comments much more distinctly than the kind ones. Nowadays if anyone makes a comment about my hair it tends to be a compliment :) However my hair is still within a reasonable length for the general population so I haven't earned any negativity about my hair being "too long" lol, but when that day comes I'm going to take it as a badge of honor :)

Milkchocolate
November 1st, 2018, 05:45 PM
Itís definitely made me feel more confident. But other than that, I feel like I have a new passion and hobby. I have made a lot of new friends and acquaintances based solely on them coming to me for advice :) I really like helping people feel more beautiful by giving them some guidance :)

lapushka
November 1st, 2018, 05:57 PM
It’s definitely made me feel more confident. But other than that, I feel like I have a new passion and hobby. I have made a lot of new friends and acquaintances based solely on them coming to me for advice :) I really like helping people feel more beautiful by giving them some guidance :)

That is the same for me too, and I sooo love to use all my different products. LOL!

Twig
November 1st, 2018, 07:22 PM
I feel more comfortable in my skin. No longer is it necessary to worry about how my hair looks (it usually looked pretty poor before it was long enough to be up) and that is a great boon. :)

In fact, having a Mean Old Library Lady look has given me immense freedom and a personal style that is not frustratingly difficult for me to follow. Not expensive either. :)

I really relate to the "library lady look." I have to wear my hair under a haircover and eyeglasses as a surgical nurse, but when I let the hair down and take the glasses off and change into street clothes out of scrubs, no one recognizes me.

shaluwm_agape
November 1st, 2018, 07:38 PM
I relate to a ton of these responses !
My journey started with an end to wearing makeup then my nail biting stopped now it's body health skin & hair which for me at this point is all in the same boat. And its a process but slowly I will get there

RosaCurl
November 1st, 2018, 09:07 PM
My hair is messy and wild, and it's nice having hair that suits me. It's helped me embrace a more feminine side to myself. Longer length makes me feel womanly and proud of my body.

Also, my hair is a good indicator of my health and nutrition. Everyone's hair is. Every moment it's growing it's printing out the story of your day-to-day health and decisions. If my hair is shiny and full and soft then that's how I'll be perceiving myself for the day (week/month/year).

MarPreciosa
November 8th, 2018, 11:08 AM
I love this thread and am fascinated by these responses. I am brand new to this journey having only given up heat styling like 8 months ago, but I can't wait to see how it changes my self-perception. Cleaning up my diet and learning to respect my skin & body has led me here. I wonder where long healthy hair will take me... I do already feel a deep reduction in anxiety and an increase in patience as well as self acceptance.

Groovy Granny
November 8th, 2018, 11:22 AM
I’ve been growing my hair for about 4 years now and it’s middle back with all the layers gone, finally! I had short hair for a few years but it really wasn’t me. I’m 64 and I always get “When are you going to grow up?” And I’d find copies of short hairstyles on my desk once in a while! I wear it down or in a pt off on one side. Don’t hate me but I can’t stand buns. I just don’t think they look good on anybody. I think having long hair is such a cool thing. Love it!
Welcome :waving:

Wow, that's nasty ....THEY Need to grow up :steam:

I started growing my hair out at age 61 from chin length....so 5+ years now.

Initially I got some hesitation/doubts from DH.... though he says he can't recall it now?? ...... not that HE has much choice in the matter :lol:

TBH I also encountered a few doubts along the journey, but growing from so short and dealing with layers and changing colors/textures was no picnic at times either :p

All of you here on LHC were my sole support and inspiration :grouphug: and I will always be grateful to you!

Once I hit SL it was easier..... then trying new styles and hair toys I found a new freedom..... and over time developed my own expression of style :rockerdud

The whole process have been so much fun and a true JOY in my life; my haircare and styling has become my hobby....and it is so freeing to be ME at 67+ :flower:

In fact it has overflowed to other areas of my life....and I FINALLY :doh: no longer care what others think :lala:

My mantra is now .....DO YOU :meditate:

shelleynyc
November 8th, 2018, 02:35 PM
I have been trying to grow out my hair for a couple of years now, but recently had to chop it all off because of a hair dye fail that resulted in fried hair, so I can't really say how my perception has changed since growing it out - but I can say how my perception changed at different hair lengths. Ever since I chopped my hair off (it is chin length now, the shortest it's ever been) I feel really insecure.

My boyfriend keeps telling me he thinks my short hair is cute and that he likes it more than when I had longer hair before, but I can't understand that at all. I think lots of girls look great in short hair styles, but I just don't think it fits my personality, if that makes sense? I think long hair looks sensual and sexy and feminine, where as short hair looks more cute and quirky (at least on me, because I have a very girly baby face) and I prefer the sensual look. Also since I chopped my hair off I feel like no clothes look good on me. :( I miss the confidence boost and empowering feeling of long hair.

Pacific
November 10th, 2018, 01:01 AM
When you're a redhead, who was bullied for being so as a child, it's difficult for it to NOT be a part of your identity.
I second that.
I'm a redhead by nature and color with henna for over 30 years. I get compliments for my hair but also at work very mean comments.
Somtimes I feel I'm living in the 14th century.
I try to let it go as I love my red hair and it's their problem not mine. But it's still hard.

shaluwm_agape
November 10th, 2018, 01:50 AM
Your hair is beautiful Pacific I honestly don't get why it garners so much hate for some people.

Sid0rela
November 10th, 2018, 02:47 PM
I second that.
I'm a redhead by nature and color with henna for over 30 years. I get compliments for my hair but also at work very mean comments.
Somtimes I feel I'm living in the 14th century.
I try to let it go as I love my red hair and it's their problem not mine. But it's still hard.

I love red hair so much!!! I really wish i was a redhead myself.

Pacific
November 11th, 2018, 12:44 AM
Thank you both for your kind words.

bokeh
November 14th, 2018, 05:50 PM
I am surprised to discover that I am much more confident about my appearance since I have started growing my hair out. It's connected with the realization that I can wear my hair any way that makes me happy and I don't have to worry about the opinion of others. That was a very freeing discovery for me after a lifetime of making decisions based on what I thought others expected of me.

Spar
November 14th, 2018, 07:03 PM
I've always kind of had long hair, especially in my later teens (15-16). So the length didn't change my perception of myself. When I look back at old photos, I kind of cringe at all the frizziness, tangles, and scraggly ends my hair had haha. I used to go to class with wet hair lol. But now, my hair is a lot healthier, smoother, shiny, better hemline.. and I feel pretty good about my hair now. Washing, combing, and trims are no longer a chore. Especially washing and combing, I always dreaded that because my hair was so hard to manage because of the tangles.

blackgothicdoll
November 14th, 2018, 07:09 PM
I feel totally unattractive with short hair tbh. I've hidden behind extensions for years now but I still felt awful when it was time to take them out and get them redone, fully knowing I was hiding behind it the same way I hid behind make up. Over the last year I've worn my own hair, not nearly as much make up, and it goes to show that I'm less attractive as I've had literally zero male suitors since I've started doing this. Part of it is relieving in that I don't have to spend hours trying to look like anyone but myself, but I feel if I grow my own hair long I'll be much more attractive. I'll have more hair styles, less bad hair days, and just look more feminine without having to put on make up.

shaluwm_agape
November 14th, 2018, 07:37 PM
BGD Own it. You are beautiful and so is your hair no matter what length. I have been in your shoes myself and what I will say is confidence is attractive. Take the time to build yourself and if it's a suitor you are looking for he will come when you least expect it.

EdG
November 14th, 2018, 07:38 PM
I became me when I grew long hair in my mid-twenties. The person before that was someone else. ;)
Ed

Arciela
November 14th, 2018, 08:59 PM
I feel like myself when I have my long hair :) when I went blonde for a year it felt weird..I didnt really like it! I prefer my Auburn virgin hair :flower: