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Milkchocolate
September 4th, 2018, 12:01 PM
At my job a lot of the times it consists of me arguing at why Im forced to wear my hair ďrestrainedĒ when every other female does not have to. It gets me so upset, because Iím literally the only one they pick on. Yes I have longest hair, but others are a few inches shorter, some have way thicker and just more hair than me...yet I am the only person who does not have the right to wear my hair nice or style it because itís ďnot a restrained or practical lookĒ for the huge company.

I got into a big argument with another woman who was insanely angry at me for wearing my hair in a high ponytail...and not in a bun. Keep in mind she was not a manager..just a regular and apparently she was sooo upset about it she went around encouraging others to immediately inform my managers if I donít restrain it. Well guess who doesnít restrain her hair either? Her.

Iíve also tried to explain to them that wearing buns hurts my neck and makes it so stiff and painful. It feels heavy. Iíve always had issues with my neck and it just amplifies it x10 (does anyone else go through this)

So Iím left being the only person who was threatened on a daily basis..meanwhile everyone else gets to wear it in cute styles..curling, straightening, bows.

It gets me very upset and just wanted to vent because I feel like I might explode one day :(

Anyone else have hair problems in the work place?

nycelle
September 4th, 2018, 12:13 PM
What do you mean by not allowed to wear it restrained? I don't understand? Others can wear it up but you're not allowed??

Does your company have a dress code? I know in more more formal environments, jeans and such are frowned upon and not allowed most of the week. But hair is another matter. Unless you're working in a place where the style you wear can cause injury to yourself or others, I don't believe anyone can tell you what to do with it, or how to wear it.

I work from home most of the week. When I need to go into the office, it's usually for meetings. Because we have a dress code, I wear it up in a loose bun. Wearing it down at my length, even though not long for LHC, is still too distracting so up it goes. But on the few occasions I've worn it down in the past, no one had the balls to say a damn thing. If they would, we'd have a problem.

Milkchocolate
September 4th, 2018, 12:25 PM
What do you mean by not allowed to wear it restrained? I don't understand? Others can wear it up but you're not allowed??

Does your company have a dress code? I know in more more formal environments, jeans and such are frowned upon and not allowed most of the week. But hair is another matter. Unless you're working in a place where the style you wear can cause injury to yourself or others, I don't believe anyone can tell you what to do with it, or how to wear it.

I work from home most of the week. When I need to go into the office, it's usually for meetings. Because we have a dress code, I wear it up in a loose bun. Wearing it down at my length, even though not long for LHC, is still too distracting so up it goes. But on the few occasions I've worn it down in the past, no one had the balls to say a damn thing. If they would, we'd have a problem.

I just edited it and what I meant was ďforcedĒ to wear my hair restrained. As in a bun! I get that thereís certain dress codes at work, but I donít understand why everyone gets to have the right to wear it down and in cute styles but when I do itís a huge issue :/ the rule at my job is that everyone must wear their hair restrained...no one does. but I am the only one who is forced to and am the only one who has gotten in trouble :(

Joules
September 4th, 2018, 12:34 PM
All the places I've ever worked at had dress code and hairstyle rules written down in official documents and rules. No mention of hair in the rules equals no restrictions whatsoever (apart from common sense of course). End of story.

I did an internship at a food manufacturing factory, so I've seen it all when it comes to hairstyle rules. Judging by your story, I don't think you work at a place where loose hair would be a hazard, otherwise everyone would be requied to contain their hair and wear protective caps. So I suggest studying all the official company dress code rules, and if hair isn't mentioned there, just ignore everyone. Average adults aren't that different from kids, sometimes they just want to bully someone to make themselves feel better.

Joules
September 4th, 2018, 12:37 PM
I just edited it and what I meant was “forced” to wear my hair restrained. As in a bun! I get that there’s certain dress codes at work, but I don’t understand why everyone gets to have the right to wear it down and in cute styles but when I do it’s a huge issue :/ the rule at my job is that everyone must wear their hair restrained...no one does. but I am the only one who is forced to and am the only one who has gotten in trouble :(

This is the most vague rule someone could come up with, to be honest :D ponytails is a form of "restriction" too! And half-ups! Literally anything that involves hair clips or hair ties or even bobby pins is a form of hair-restriction.

spidermom
September 4th, 2018, 12:59 PM
Unfortunately, companies do have the right to enforce the image they choose onto their employees (with few exceptions). If you want to keep this job, it would be a good idea to figure out what is different between your hair and other hair that does not get picked on rather than arguing about it. For example, is the other hair cut into some sort of style while yours is fairy taled (thin ends at different lengths)? Also, even though you see the difference in length as a few inches, yours may still be past the length they consider compatible with the image they want their employees to project.

Anyway, as suggested above, study the dress code. If you're still not clear about hair, talk to your immediate supervisor. I hope this can be worked out.

AnqeIicDemise
September 4th, 2018, 01:22 PM
Quick question: are you a curly hair?

I've noticed that women with curly hair (just like women with bigger chests), get the most crap about dress code violations when wearing the same style as anyone else. In some schools, even, girls with natural curls -- especially the tighter ones, like 4c -- are told they can't wear their hair in ponytails because the loose hair poofs out too much and it makes them look unkempt... which if you ask me, is total BS. This is more so a pain as we enter the work force and people's visions of what 'professionalism' looks with hair. I know of lots of curly haired girls who fight their curls on the daily so they can be taken seriously in the work place.

If you *are* a curly hair, take the dress code out, print it and highlight the examples given of appropriate dress code and make note if there is a distinction *anywhere* that says folk of certain hair types must wear their hair completely restrained. If there isn't, viola, counter argument. I had a friend once who was constantly getting in trouble for her unnatural hair color in the call center. So she did the above and when nit picked about it (her manager even went as far to demand she wear a wig!) she pointed out that the dress code said she could have dyed hair. It didn't specify that 'unnatural' colors were against the dress code. She wasn't bothered about it *ever again*. When she was let go (for other reasons, though. The manager in question went out of her way to build a case to legally fire my friend), there was a brand new dress code in our inboxes the next day.

lapushka
September 4th, 2018, 01:29 PM
Are you male by any chance? Which would explain the situation a little better, IMO. Not the reaction, but the situation.

Sarahlabyrinth
September 4th, 2018, 01:37 PM
Might be best to just comply, you wouldn't want to get a reputation for being "difficult". It may be that your hair is beyond what they see as an acceptable length to be worn loose.

nycelle
September 4th, 2018, 01:55 PM
Restrained is a very loose term. But I take it to mean hair can't be all over the place. Short hair can be worn loose and it's still "restrained." Long hair not so much.

How long is your hair though? I can't remember if I've seen any pics of it..

Addy
September 4th, 2018, 02:04 PM
We have a strict dress code at my job. No hair on the collars of female staff at all times, no earrings, tongue rings, finger rings (except wedding bands), make up, or nail polish. All men are not allowed to grow their hair 1" past their ears and their beards have to be less than 3" long.

With that said, do I see female staff members with APL hair wearing ponytails that trail down between their shoulder blades on their collars, wearing earrings and/or tongue rings with make up done like they are going to a major event and polished nails? Yes I do see them do it but that doesn't give me a right to feel like I should be just like them. I follow the dress code to a T. I wont give management a reason to breathe down my neck because I want to follow the crowd just because others haven't been called out on it.

esfand
September 4th, 2018, 03:29 PM
As someone else asked, are you a curly? Curly haired people get so much flack in the workplace. I am sorry you're dealing with this.

If buns hurt your neck, then how about a braid that goes down your back? It's "restrained" too but shouldn't put weight on your neck.

ebillan
September 4th, 2018, 03:48 PM
When I worked in a kitchen I would braid my hair, and jam it up in the hairnet, which seemed to work well enough, though I was a little jealous of the short-haired ladies who could just fit the net right over their hair as is.

I would think a french or english braid would count as 'restrained'? I don't suppose there are any risks in your workplace with having loose hair, such as getting caught in equipment?

There are no hair-specific rules about how I dress for what I'm doing now, but it's certainly easier for me to have my hair braided back.

Kat
September 4th, 2018, 04:47 PM
How long is your hair? How long is your coworkers' hair? What styles do they require you to wear it in (braids, buns?), vs. the styles you would like to wear it in (loose, ponytail?)? Has your actual boss/manager told you that you have to wear your hair in certain styles, or is it just your coworkers complaining? Have you asked your boss why you have to wear your hair in a certain manner and can't wear it like (insert name of coworker here), and in what manner they want you to wear it? (Not trying to give you the 3rd degree, just get an idea of the situation and why they may think it's acceptable.)

Obsidian
September 4th, 2018, 06:43 PM
If you are truly being harassed, go to HR and file a complaint. They can't single you out for hair length, thats discrimination.
If you have to wear it up, everyone else should also have to

Milkchocolate
September 4th, 2018, 09:52 PM
To answer a few questions :)

Yes im a female :) No my hair is not curly. My current length is under my rear end. To be more specific, even if I wear it in a high pony tail, thatís still not considered restrained. (In their definition when it comes to me) I donít work around machinery and my hair is not long enough for it to be considered a hazard. Iím a hostess/ waitress :)

Iíve just come to the conclusion that they pick on me because my hair is the longest. Itís not unruly at all. Itís always maintained in a sleek ponytail. I actually had to convince them to let me wear in a braid instead of a bun so my neck wonít hurt.

As for that mean woman who yelled at me and tried to get me in trouble, she has had other problems with other girls. Not when it comes to hair though. Iíve heard sheís just very vicious and very jealous. I feel like thatís why she does not want me to display my hair, even in a sleek pony tail. So anyway, I do consider it personal and bullying. I totally am fine with following the rules, and never want to seem difficult over something as silly as hair. But it does hurt me when I get in trouble for things that other women at my job are doing.

If this continues, I definitely plan on going to the general managers. But I donít want to seem childish with the argument ďwell why do I have to and they donít!Ē Lol ^_^
In the meanwhile, Iíll just keep working these long days and nights until I find something better :) fingers crossed!!

Jo Ann
September 4th, 2018, 10:26 PM
My view: If it's just a co-worker, politely tell her to go suck eggs, then talk to your supervisor about the harassment you are receiving. If the others have complained about her too, she might be shown the door (ie terminated, fired, let go, downsized). If you aren't of the mind to tell her to go suck eggs, tell your supervisor that she is harassing you.

About the ONLY one who should be "getting you in trouble" is your supervisor or anyone higher up. If you haven't heard anything from The Powers That Be about your hair, it's all on the head of the one who's harassing you about it.

akurah
September 4th, 2018, 10:34 PM
When you say hostess, do you mean at a restaurant?

If that is the case, even though you are neither serving nor preparing food, a ponytail is not adequate in my opinion--it should at least be braided. You're too close to food, it's kind of unsanitary.

RubberDucky
September 4th, 2018, 11:49 PM
Ah, if it's anything to do with food I have to agree - keep it contained, at least in a braid. I was at a sandwich place a few months ago and there was a new employee with lovely classic length hair in a ponytail. Every time she leaned over to pick ingredients for the sandwiches her hair brushed over the food. Needless to say I didn't buy anything...

leayellena
September 5th, 2018, 12:45 AM
At my job a lot of the times it consists of me arguing at why Im forced to wear my hair ďrestrainedĒ when every other female does not have to. It gets me so upset, because Iím literally the only one they pick on. Yes I have longest hair, but others are a few inches shorter, some have way thicker and just more hair than me...yet I am the only person who does not have the right to wear my hair nice or style it because itís ďnot a restrained or practical lookĒ for the huge company.

I got into a big argument with another woman who was insanely angry at me for wearing my hair in a high ponytail...and not in a bun. Keep in mind she was not a manager..just a regular and apparently she was sooo upset about it she went around encouraging others to immediately inform my managers if I donít restrain it. Well guess who doesnít restrain her hair either? Her.

Iíve also tried to explain to them that wearing buns hurts my neck and makes it so stiff and painful. It feels heavy. Iíve always had issues with my neck and it just amplifies it x10 (does anyone else go through this)

So Iím left being the only person who is threatened on a daily basis..meanwhile everyone else gets to wear it in cute styles..curling, straightening, bows.

It gets me very upset and just wanted to vent because I feel like I might explode one day :(

Anyone else have hair problems in the work place?

try a braid.
I started with a very fall appartish beebutt when my hair greew to collarbone because I couldnīt wear clothes without having tones of breakage afterwards. I never worked for a company before, only small companies and mostly field work, but I know at leaast that much about companies: everything beyond bra strap is long and it should be up or in a high pony. try a loose braid. last year I saw an assurance worker wearing her thick hip length hair in an english braid.
also: how long do you want your hair grow? keep in mind that at a certain length it either comes in the way no matter if braided or ponytail.

Joules
September 5th, 2018, 01:40 AM
When you say hostess, do you mean at a restaurant?

If that is the case, even though you are neither serving nor preparing food, a ponytail is not adequate in my opinion--it should at least be braided. You're too close to food, it's kind of unsanitary.


Ah, if it's anything to do with food I have to agree - keep it contained, at least in a braid. I was at a sandwich place a few months ago and there was a new employee with lovely classic length hair in a ponytail. Every time she leaned over to pick ingredients for the sandwiches her hair brushed over the food. Needless to say I didn't buy anything...

Yep. When your hair is that long it starts to live its own separate life, which includes getting into stuff you don't want it to get into. As much as I love long hair, I wouldn't want to see a waitress with classic length ponytail deal with my food. Braid is kinda just as unsanitary in my opinion. Maybe you could try wrapping a braid around your head crown-braid style?

AnqeIicDemise
September 5th, 2018, 01:55 AM
Ah.. Yes.. Super long hair and food. I can see why people would complain. Its just scary to some folk to see so much hair although it is tied up and see it still hang.


Was it madora? Madrona? M Some thing? Ive been away too long... Anyway, she had a lovely style that was easy, exceptionally complicated looking, superbly comfortable and elegant. When my hair was longer, I even did it for larp! It has excellent weight distribution and doesn't bother me as much as a pony tail or a bun does (I'm prone to migraines)

Its essentially a French braid and then wound around like a crown braid and pinned. When my hair was midback length and I was doing protective styles, I wore a modified version of it: single Dutch to the nape, split remainder in two and pin.

I should do that tomorrow!

Eta: also, milk maid braids are great. And if you hate pins as much as I do, lace them (I.e. "sew" them in with pretty ribbon and a large yarn needle. ) once I get home I can pm you a few tutorials on my favorite weight distribution styles so you can a) show off your hair in ways that baffle people b) not strain your neck and c) superbly easy.

But its going to be a while. In ER with a client and I have a feeling ill be passing out the moment I get home. *sigh*

Sarahlabyrinth
September 5th, 2018, 05:47 AM
Ah, yep around food you need your hair to be properly contained, a ponytail isn't enough. An English braid looped with the tassel attached at the base of the braid should be fine though, or any bun. You want your hair to not be able to accidentally fall against any food or utensils, or on customers. You have to think of hygiene here. Customers won't want to see long hair swishing around their food... Ponytails, particularly long ones, do swish a lot. You are not there to "display" your hair. You can do that during your time off, but not when you are working around food.

lapushka
September 5th, 2018, 05:54 AM
I actually thought you might be male. Sorry. Which would explain the difference in how they treat you quite well (sad but true in a lot of cases).

If it's classic length, I do understand why they want you to wear it up, say in a bun. Hair that long on a work floor isn't exactly safe or hygienic, even in a ponytail - I actually do understand where they're coming from. Sorry. But! But! It is NOT up to a co-worker, it is up to your boss.


As for that mean woman who yelled at me and tried to get me in trouble, she has had other problems with other girls. Not when it comes to hair though. I’ve heard she’s just very vicious and very jealous. I feel like that’s why she does not want me to display my hair, even in a sleek pony tail. So anyway, I do consider it personal and bullying. I totally am fine with following the rules, and never want to seem difficult over something as silly as hair. But it does hurt me when I get in trouble for things that other women at my job are doing.

I doubt it has much to do with the hair itself then; she's just looking for any reason that's good enough.

I hope you can get this resolved. I would go talk to the higher-ups sooner rather than later, and ask whether or not your hair is OK. If you get the OK from them, I would not worry, and rub their noses in it when they harass you about it. I would do that, though, to save you future issues.

Milkchocolate
September 5th, 2018, 06:33 AM
I agree with everyone on having hair restrained around food for sanitary reasons. thatís not a problem! Part of my argument is that it should be a rule that applies to everyone and not only me. There are others with waist length, bra length, loose pony tails, pig tails, some with ethnic thick hair, so they shouldnít be an acception to the rules.

Iíve complained about it before..they forced the rule for like 3 days and then forgot about it. I also have a fear that the other ladies will get mad at me for taking away their hair styling rights.

MidnightMoon
September 5th, 2018, 06:47 AM
Waist or bra length is not comparable to classic, and as much as I like long hair, I always prefer people that work with food to have their hair up, restrained or at least in a neat braid. I don't think work is the place to show off hair and it gives me the wrong impression when I see people that seem to put vanity over hygiene.
I'd tell your coworkers to back off, but I would probably value my job over said discussions and just prefer to avoid all the fuss. I would be afraid of causing so much trouble for something like that, that it would put me under constant scrutiny and end up worse than just having to wear my hair differently. But I'm quite paranoid so might not apply to you...

Sarahlabyrinth
September 5th, 2018, 06:49 AM
If I were you I would make sure my hair was properly contained and away from food and not worry too much about what others are doing. At least nobody will be able to gripe about your hair, then.

Ligeia Noire
September 5th, 2018, 07:24 AM
Hair at work should always be up. Ponytail is not up. I cannot even imagine hair at a restaurant or cafť not being up. Wether it is shoulder or classic. That's very unprofessional. Everyone should have to follow the rules but has Sarah said worry about you because if something happens. Like let's say hair being found on a bowl of soup or a ponytail swishing into a plate when you turn around it won't be yours. And you'll be happy. Just because others don't comply, shouldn't give you an excuse to not comply either. And yes I would definitely complain to your manager. I am a floor manager and I appreciate when people come to me so I know what's going on before I am let known by the customers.... if the manager is useless.. get the complains to your boss. Good luck.

lapushka
September 5th, 2018, 09:50 AM
Hair at work should always be up. Ponytail is not up. I cannot even imagine hair at a restaurant or cafť not being up. Wether it is shoulder or classic. That's very unprofessional. Everyone should have to follow the rules but has Sarah said worry about you because if something happens. Like let's say hair being found on a bowl of soup or a ponytail swishing into a plate when you turn around it won't be yours. And you'll be happy. Just because others don't comply, shouldn't give you an excuse to not comply either. And yes I would definitely complain to your manager. I am a floor manager and I appreciate when people come to me so I know what's going on before I am let known by the customers.... if the manager is useless.. get the complains to your boss. Good luck.

Totally agree with this ^^, especially with the bolded part.

A ponytail that long is like loose hair; plain and simple. You don't want it ending up hanging into a plate of food or bowl of soup just due to the length of it. You say that never happens, but it's enough that customers can imagine it happening, you won't get customers through the door that way. And that's bad!

Deborah
September 5th, 2018, 10:15 AM
I agree that you do have to have your hair better contained, despite what others do.

Don't give up on updos so quickly. There are very comfortable buns. If you do some research on this board and a little experimenting, I'm sure you can find a least a few updos which you can do and which are perfectly comfortable. I always found ponytails uncomfortable - too much pulling. You may well find that a good bun is actually more comfortable than your ponytail. Best of luck at quickly finding a good and happy solution!

Rebeccalaurenxx
September 5th, 2018, 11:14 AM
APL and bra strap length hair is incomparable to butt length/CL hair...
I’m sorry but I have to agree with your co worker in that the pony tail is not enough to contain hair your length.
A braid is better and probably the middle alternative since you can’t wear buns.
I don’t know what else to tell you, I can’t wear buns either but I don’t work in food and won’t.

Joules
September 5th, 2018, 11:44 AM
I agree with everyone on having hair restrained around food for sanitary reasons. thatís not a problem! Part of my argument is that it should be a rule that applies to everyone and not only me. There are others with waist length, bra length, loose pony tails, pig tails, some with ethnic thick hair, so they shouldnít be an acception to the rules.

Iíve complained about it before..they forced the rule for like 3 days and then forgot about it. I also have a fear that the other ladies will get mad at me for taking away their hair styling rights.

If it makes you feel any better, they signed their hairstyling rights away when they accepted a job in the food industry. If you complain and your manager starts to enforce this rule properly, it's not gonna be your fault. I agree that everyone must follow the rules.

I also agree with those who say that APL-WL ponytails aren't even close to classic length ponytail. So I can see where the criticism is coming from. Figuring out an updo will be beneficial for your work as well as for your hair itself.

Milkchocolate
September 5th, 2018, 12:09 PM
Iíd also like to add that Iím a hostess/ cleaning for 90% of the time. (I work in a huge hotel and event center) I only waitress if we are understaffed, which is not much. So truthfully, Iím not around food that much. Iíve seen ladies who are in the kitchen, around food, most of the waitresses with non-restrained hair. So if anything, they should abide by the rules more so? I apologize for not being very specific. I wish I could accurately describe more how things have gone down at my job.
Thatís where my frustrations come from.. my mind was blown from how backwards it seemed. I think I would have been less upset, had I been approached in a kinder manner and not by a lady with a bully mentality. (She only defends people in her group)
But yeah, I agree 100% hair should restrained by me and everyone. And I do it all the time since Iíve had my talking to. And as for me being told that ď I should only worry about myselfĒ, itís hard to do that when I have been bullied by my previous female manager (who left thank goodness), and a woman whoís encouraged others to get me in trouble for something that everyone else seems to be doing...Which I fear could have resulted me being fired over something ridiculous like she had probably wanted.

I handle the situation quietly and yess I restrain it all th time , but am left with the feeling that I was still treated in an unfair manner. I comply of course, but just wanted to vent out my frustrations was all

Todd
September 5th, 2018, 01:49 PM
....had I been approached in a kinder manner and not by a lady with a bully mentality.
...I have been bullied by my previous female manager,
...and a woman whoís encouraged others to get me in trouble for something that everyone else seems to be doing...

This place sounds like a battle zone. That's three different people bullying you?

Joules
September 5th, 2018, 02:37 PM
I’d also like to add that I’m a hostess/ cleaning for 90% of the time. (I work in a huge hotel and event center) I only waitress if we are understaffed, which is not much. So truthfully, I’m not around food that much. I’ve seen ladies who are in the kitchen, around food, most of the waitresses with non-restrained hair. So if anything, they should abide by the rules more so? I apologize for not being very specific. I wish I could accurately describe more how things have gone down at my job.
That’s where my frustrations come from.. my mind was blown from how backwards it seemed. I think I would have been less upset, had I been approached in a kinder manner and not by a lady with a bully mentality. (She only defends people in her group)
But yeah, I agree 100% hair should restrained by me and everyone. And I do it all the time since I’ve had my talking to. And as for me being told that “ I should only worry about myself”, it’s hard to do that when I have been bullied by my previous female manager (who left thank goodness), and a woman who’s encouraged others to get me in trouble for something that everyone else seems to be doing...Which I fear could have resulted me being fired over something ridiculous like she had probably wanted.

I handle the situation quietly and yess I restrain it all th time , but am left with the feeling that I was still treated in an unfair manner. I comply of course, but just wanted to vent out my frustrations was all

I had similar experience at one of my jobs. In my case it turned out to be personal. If everybody does something but only you get reprimanded for it, it's probably personal.

Also, kitchen staff with loose hair is just bad working ethics. People who deal with food must not only have all of their hair up, but also wear some sort of a cap or hair net, beard masks for bearded men, and long sleeves (because hands have hair too). This king of neglect shows that even the management doesn't give two flying f-s about anything, it's not a good place for both workers and customers.

AnqeIicDemise
September 5th, 2018, 05:29 PM
Iíd also like to add that Iím a hostess/ cleaning for 90% of the time. (I work in a huge hotel and event center) I only waitress if we are understaffed, which is not much. So truthfully, Iím not around food that much. Iíve seen ladies who are in the kitchen, around food, most of the waitresses with non-restrained hair. So if anything, they should abide by the rules more so? I apologize for not being very specific. I wish I could accurately describe more how things have gone down at my job.
Thatís where my frustrations come from.. my mind was blown from how backwards it seemed. I think I would have been less upset, had I been approached in a kinder manner and not by a lady with a bully mentality. (She only defends people in her group)
But yeah, I agree 100% hair should restrained by me and everyone. And I do it all the time since Iíve had my talking to. And as for me being told that ď I should only worry about myselfĒ, itís hard to do that when I have been bullied by my previous female manager (who left thank goodness), and a woman whoís encouraged others to get me in trouble for something that everyone else seems to be doing...Which I fear could have resulted me being fired over something ridiculous like she had probably wanted.

I handle the situation quietly and yess I restrain it all th time , but am left with the feeling that I was still treated in an unfair manner. I comply of course, but just wanted to vent out my frustrations was all

I can totally understand the frustration and anger that comes from being treated as such, along with the feeling of exhaustion, which makes it harder to follow the rules. If it feels like youre on a losing battlefield is because you are in some aspect.

I would find some comfortable, evenly distributed up dos that I could do easily if I were you (General Leia's gorgeous braided do comes to mind. Thank you for reminding me, guess what ill be doing in a bit!), just to keep my head low long enough while I figure out if the job is worth it. We spend so much time at work, sometimes more so with our family, its important to do some real soul searching if its a good for or not. If it you find a way to tune these ladies out as much as you can, great! If you feel you can do so but need management intervention, fantastic!

But really, take care of you as a whole package, not just your lovely mane. You are just as important. [And sorry if I come out preachy, I just dont want anyone to end up where I did due to toxic environments.]

Milkchocolate
September 5th, 2018, 07:42 PM
This place sounds like a battle zone. That's three different people bullying you?

There was 2 but now 1. Yes!! Definitely a battle zone..it being considered a fancy wancy upscale place surrounded by a lot of other college age kids -_- ughh lol

Milkchocolate
September 5th, 2018, 07:46 PM
I can totally understand the frustration and anger that comes from being treated as such, along with the feeling of exhaustion, which makes it harder to follow the rules. If it feels like youre on a losing battlefield is because you are in some aspect.

I would find some comfortable, evenly distributed up dos that I could do easily if I were you (General Leia's gorgeous braided do comes to mind. Thank you for reminding me, guess what ill be doing in a bit!), just to keep my head low long enough while I figure out if the job is worth it. We spend so much time at work, sometimes more so with our family, its important to do some real soul searching if its a good for or not. If it you find a way to tune these ladies out as much as you can, great! If you feel you can do so but need management intervention, fantastic!

But really, take care of you as a whole package, not just your lovely mane. You are just as important. [And sorry if I come out preachy, I just dont want anyone to end up where I did due to toxic environments.]

Awe that was some thoughtful advice! :) ❤️ Thank you and omg Princess Lea space buns sound cute!

Milkchocolate
September 5th, 2018, 07:51 PM
I had similar experience at one of my jobs. In my case it turned out to be personal. If everybody does something but only you get reprimanded for it, it's probably personal.

Yes thank you! Thatís what Iíve been trying to sum up. Sorry you had to deal with that as well and hope your situation got better! :)

maborosi
September 6th, 2018, 02:59 PM
I have hair that's around knee-length and work in restaurants- you definitely want to protect yourself in this situation- because the minute something may happen (IE- hair in someone's food, accidentally touching a table or any number of things), the fingers are going to get pointed at you first. Plus... Restaurants can be really hard on your hair- being around the heat (if you go back into the kitchen), chemicals (cleaning, etc), can be really stressful for your hair- so it's not a bad idea to keep it well-restrained for that reason alone!

I've found braided styles are the best. Generally I never wore a loose braid because I don't consider that restrained for that length of hair, but braided buns, folded-over braids, etc, are great.

Hope that helps. And I hope your situation at your place goes better. Hospitality is very inhospitable and it's hard not to take it personally. People can be rough.