Dull and Frizzy

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I thought I had been taking care of my hair for the longest time.
But I have noticed recently that the frizz, especially in the back of my head, has gotten progressively worse.
Split ends galore, like usual. My hair kind of looks like this:

https://www.google.com/search?sa=G&hl=en&q=wavy+thick+frizzy+hair&tbm=isch&tbs=simg:CAQSmwEJUwCXAK0o520ajwELEKjU2AQaCAgXCD0IQ wgVDAsQsIynCBpiCmAIAxIonR-lH6Qa8Q-GH5wfpRqbH4UfqB_1MMckx5jGePMsx9DDGMboxnzyFMRowowWt JGtOmUm11L7v4gepm-3TLdlKlHDC8Nugz3NjvepscWPHVZX2Z1jsRtN8_19xtIAQMCxC Orv4IGgoKCAgBEgSPe49mDA&ved=0ahUKEwjrqaC6xP_cAhXJ0J8KHSy2DvAQwg4IJigA&biw=1274&bih=642#imgrc=QYN165zSMWuY0M:

Honestly, like completely.

I dont know what to do anymore, I am very unhappy with the state of my hair.
And I just dont think its possible for me to get as long as some of you, i just dont think its in the cards for me.
I dont know what else to try, other then maybe giving the silk / satin pillow case a try again.
Im just feeling so discouraged because my hair only seems to get worse and not longer or healthier looking.
Sometimes I just want to cut it short and start all over but I would probably regret it.
I dont know... i hardly come on here anymore either. I just dont have the motivation for long hair, I feel.

[LittleHealthy]

Gah, that sucks. I guess before you actually *do* anything, what’s your goal? Putting aside the condition of your hair, what do it really want? For it to be long? Or short? In between?
I feel like there would be people in here who have seen or experienced exactly what you are currently dealing with who could help you, if your goal was indeed to keep growing and gain more length.
I’m not much help, myself, but I just see that you feel undecided and perhaps deciding on a way to tackle your hair will become clearer once you decide what your goal is.
:flowers:

[lithostoic]

If it looks like that it's either you're not moisturizing it enough or it's damaged beyond repair by hair dye.

[Dark40]

I agree with lithostoic. Maybe you're not deep conditioning it enough and moisturizing it enough. Try doing some deep treatments every week. Try moisturizing your hair with essentail oils after every wash. Also, try to stay away from sulfate shampoos as much as you can. i only use shampoos with sulfates in them 1-3 times a week, and when I do I use a heavy conditioner or a coney conditioner. I hope this helps you. Try not to get to discouraged about growing and maintaining long hair. I know that it can be discouraging and frustrating sometimes but I'm sure that they are others here that are going through the same thing you are going through that can help you.

[EmbracetheHippy]

Do you sleep with your hair down? Do you sleep on a satin pillow case? I ask, because I used to have that same problem, breakage at the back of my head, where my head rubs the pillow. About 23 years ago, my hair person at the time, told me about how friction occurs when I lay on my pillow and that's why my hair was so beat up and looked like a used q-tip there. I got my first satin pillow cases that week.

He also said to be careful about getting my hair between my back and the car seat because that would cause damage to the ends too.

Since my hair now is just above my waist, I sleep in a loose bun or braid. I change it up so I don't get the same mechanical stress on my hair night after night. Just info for later.

Hope my suggestions might help.

[LittleHealthy]

One thing I was doing wrong before when I thought I was going to need to cut off the lower half of my hair, was that I was oiling my hair whilst dry, instead of wet. So I was putting oil on but not sealing in any moisture. As soon as I changed it to oiling when my hair was damp after a shower, that worked much better. I was very close to cutting off my dyed section of hair until I made this simple change.
Although the change might not be the same, perhaps the change COULD be that simple for you :o

[Jo Ann]

IIRC, didn't you move from a dry climate and hard water situation to OR this year? What changes did you make to your routine to account for the change in climate and water?

[leayellena]

Hard water?

[lapushka]

You had this once before, this kind of freak-out over the state of your hair, so I don't know what to think of it...

I'm sure it's fine. Just go with the basics, clarify, then moisturize a whole lot, LOC/LCO method and let dry, then keep it in protective styles until next you wash. Do this a couple of times.

I'm sure there's no need to cut a huge chunk off.

[TreesOfEternity]

That hair looks nice to me, just not styled. I’ve got pin straight hair so for me to avoid that state I have to sleep with a satin hair cover, lock the moisture in very well, protect it from the sun and wind and obviously brush it. Maybe other 2c’s can tell you what they do with that texture because brushing it may not be the best idea (the rest of my advice may apply to you as well).

[TreesOfEternity]

(Double post)

[Margarita]

Unfortunaly, my hair was like that when i was in middle school, it was a real struggle. Dull and frizzy hair can sadly occure also from over-moisturize in the worst case. Heat tools is the number 1 of causing dull and frizzy hair. I want to ask you, do you at all use heat tools? If yes, i will recommend you to use them as little as possible. I see that you have beautiful hair with pretty frizz-free waves and thickness. Bumble and Bumble has released this:https://www.bumbleandbumble.com/product/19053/52034/care/treatments/save-the-day-daytime-protective-repair-fluid#/sku/84894
Its really expensive, i havent buy it. But, i guess that product is perfect for hair being frizzy, dry or dull. Check it out.
If you moisturize too much, bring the balance back and do not add more and more products after shower. OR! Only use moisturize products as well as a leave-in after shower, without using conditioner back at the shower :o

[MusicalSpoons]

Gah, that sucks. I guess before you actually *do* anything, what’s your goal? Putting aside the condition of your hair, what do it really want? For it to be long? Or short? In between?
I feel like there would be people in here who have seen or experienced exactly what you are currently dealing with who could help you, if your goal was indeed to keep growing and gain more length.
I’m not much help, myself, but I just see that you feel undecided and perhaps deciding on a way to tackle your hair will become clearer once you decide what your goal is.
:flowers:

I think this is probably the most important thing to figure out first. If you do really want hair to a certain length, then you'll find the motivation to work out what needs to be done to help - and if you realise you don't actually want hair as long as it currently is, that's fine too! You might just want healthy hair at a length that's easy enough to look after and fits your lifestyle and goals.

JoAnn raises a good point about water and climate too. And I seem to recall from an earlier thread you prefer to wear it down, and you dye it - is that the case, and if so, are those non-negotiable? Just so we know what you're working with :)

[spidermom]

Just in case this will work for you: I have a satin pillowcase and put my hair into a loose-ish looped ponytail at the top of my head for sleep. That seems to help a lot, and it's almost like a styling technique. My hair comes down in the morning with both volume and smoothness.

I also wear it up most days, as much to keep it off my neck, out of my way, and out of my face as to protect it.

I think you should do what it takes to make you feel good about your hair. If it causes damage, get the damage trimmed off on a regular basis. Use good conditioners.

[nycelle]

Use deep conditioners without glycerin and protein. Silk sleep caps (with the satin weave inside) are a must.

Those two changes made a world of difference in my hair. Prior to that, my hair was as frizzy as the girl in your pics, and my ends would feel rough no matter what I did. I still get splits, but less than half of what I used to get.

Thing is, you have to be consistent. If you're just trying things here and there, without seeing results fast, nothing is going to help.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I agree with lithostoic. Maybe you're not deep conditioning it enough and moisturizing it enough. Try doing some deep treatments every week. Try moisturizing your hair with essentail oils after every wash. Also, try to stay away from sulfate shampoos as much as you can. i only use shampoos with sulfates in them 1-3 times a week, and when I do I use a heavy conditioner or a coney conditioner. I hope this helps you. Try not to get to discouraged about growing and maintaining long hair. I know that it can be discouraging and frustrating sometimes but I'm sure that they are others here that are going through the same thing you are going through that can help you.

I was deep conditioning weekly and it still looked like this.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

IIRC, didn't you move from a dry climate and hard water situation to OR this year? What changes did you make to your routine to account for the change in climate and water?
I moved to Oregon almost a year ago. My hair should have adjusted by now.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Do you sleep with your hair down? Do you sleep on a satin pillow case? I ask, because I used to have that same problem, breakage at the back of my head, where my head rubs the pillow. About 23 years ago, my hair person at the time, told me about how friction occurs when I lay on my pillow and that's why my hair was so beat up and looked like a used q-tip there. I got my first satin pillow cases that week.

He also said to be careful about getting my hair between my back and the car seat because that would cause damage to the ends too.

Since my hair now is just above my waist, I sleep in a loose bun or braid. I change it up so I don't get the same mechanical stress on my hair night after night. Just info for later.

Hope my suggestions might help.

Yes I sleep with it down. I just can’t sleep with it up like some of you.
I did for months, wake up with headaches or weird bumps and lumps in my hair.
I can’t sleep with it up unless I want to be uncomfortable.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Unfortunaly, my hair was like that when i was in middle school, it was a real struggle. Dull and frizzy hair can sadly occure also from over-moisturize in the worst case. Heat tools is the number 1 of causing dull and frizzy hair. I want to ask you, do you at all use heat tools? If yes, i will recommend you to use them as little as possible. I see that you have beautiful hair with pretty frizz-free waves and thickness. Bumble and Bumble has released this:https://www.bumbleandbumble.com/product/19053/52034/care/treatments/save-the-day-daytime-protective-repair-fluid#/sku/84894
Its really expensive, i havent buy it. But, i guess that product is perfect for hair being frizzy, dry or dull. Check it out.
If you moisturize too much, bring the balance back and do not add more and more products after shower. OR! Only use moisturize products as well as a leave-in after shower, without using conditioner back at the shower :o

I do not use heat and I cut back on deep treatments for this reason.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I think this is probably the most important thing to figure out first. If you do really want hair to a certain length, then you'll find the motivation to work out what needs to be done to help - and if you realise you don't actually want hair as long as it currently is, that's fine too! You might just want healthy hair at a length that's easy enough to look after and fits your lifestyle and goals.

JoAnn raises a good point about water and climate too. And I seem to recall from an earlier thread you prefer to wear it down, and you dye it - is that the case, and if so, are those non-negotiable? Just so we know what you're working with :)

Yes I prefer to wear it down - I get severe headaches.
I don’t dye regularly. I have dyed my hair once in the last 2-3 years. I had been 100% henna and indigo for those 2 years.
Then recently switched to dye by a professional because I don’t care for henna and indigo, it was making the condition of my hair worse.

[Dark40]

I was deep conditioning weekly and it still looked like this.

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, I would do like what everybody else is saying about sleeping on a satin pillow case. Not wearing your hair down while sleeping. Because, I used to sleep on cotton pillow cases a few months ago, and my mom gave me 2 satin pillow cases, and I've seen a huge difference in frizz control and damage control!

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Use deep conditioners without glycerin and protein. Silk sleep caps (with the satin weave inside) are a must.

Those two changes made a world of difference in my hair. Prior to that, my hair was as frizzy as the girl in your pics, and my ends would feel rough no matter what I did. I still get splits, but less than half of what I used to get.

Thing is, you have to be consistent. If you're just trying things here and there, without seeing results fast, nothing is going to help.

I am consistent with it. I moved into another new house this week so I was not showering... but.
I have been doing the same “routine” for a year or more now. But my hair is just stuck at waist. The only time I saw growth was when I stopped trimming all together but but ends look so terrible to me.
It grows so very slow. I got my hair done back in May and it’s 2 months later and my roots are just barely showing.
I should have an inch of growth by now but it’s more like 1/2”.. my hair grows at HALF the normal rate.
Then it is constantly splitting at the ends. Like constantly. I am losing length every day.
It’s breaking off quicker then it’s growing at this point and I’m not sure what else I can do.
I have given it moisture, I have been doing loc for a year or more now, I am as gentle as I can be.
I limit my detangling, I don’t use regular brushes.

The only thing I changed in the last few months is wearing hair down.
I had to sell all my hair toys because I was on disability and couldn’t pay bills. I have a few forks left but I have no motivation or desire to wear them anymore, and I want to hide inside my hair.
I am about to lose alll the hours at work because we are cutting cost.
So maybe my hair state is stress/health related.
I don’t know, I just don’t see the point anymore. I have so much more going on right now and feel like I have tried everything, and now at this point my hair is just another stressful thing I am dealing with.

[Dark40]

I am consistent with it. I moved into another new house this week so I was not showering... but.
I have been doing the same “routine” for a year or more now. But my hair is just stuck at waist. The only time I saw growth was when I stopped trimming all together but but ends look so terrible to me.
It grows so very slow. I got my hair done back in May and it’s 2 months later and my roots are just barely showing.
I should have an inch of growth by now but it’s more like 1/2”.. my hair grows at HALF the normal rate.
Then it is constantly splitting at the ends. Like constantly. I am losing length every day.
It’s breaking off quicker then it’s growing at this point and I’m not sure what else I can do.
I have given it moisture, I have been doing loc for a year or more now, I am as gentle as I can be.
I limit my detangling, I don’t use regular brushes.

The only thing I changed in the last few months is wearing hair down.
I had to sell all my hair toys because I was on disability and couldn’t pay bills. I have a few forks left but I have no motivation or desire to wear them anymore, and I want to hide inside my hair.
I am about to lose alll the hours at work because we are cutting cost.
So maybe my hair state is stress/health related.
I don’t know, I just don’t see the point anymore. I have so much more going on right now and feel like I have tried everything, and now at this point my hair is just another stressful thing I am dealing with.

You know it could be the stress that's making your hair break off or split. Because, I know that when I'm under a lot of stress my hair falls out or sheds a lot more than normal too. Make sure you're getting enough protein and iron in your diet as well. That can also contribute to hair breakage as well. Don't worry, you are doing the right things to help your hair grow to longer lengths. What you can try is doing S&D's every 3 or 4 months. Like, trimming off 1cm every 3 or 4 months. That helps my ends to keep from splitting and breaking off. I'm on the, 'No-Trimming Challenge," on here but I can't go throughout a year without dusting or S&Ding's.

[Milkchocolate]

I recommend trying the deep conditioner by It’s a 10. I also recommend you use the hair oils from the brand Hask. They come in those small vials...especially the Argan oil one. It’s really really good!! :) . it’s so nourishing and smoothing on my hair. It seems like your hair is very thirsty for some hydration. I was in the same boat a few weeks ago. My hair felt so hard and rough from a bad box dye I had used. So I can’t recommend the deep conditioner and oil enough. They seriously helped me. Also, just avoid washing your hair too many times. Let your natural hair oil do it’s thing. I only wash mine twice a week!

[nycelle]

@Rebeccalaurenxx - it sounds like you have enough going on right now without worrying about your hair. Try to figure out a way to deal with the stress first.

Hope things start getting easier for you :flower::flower:

[EmbracetheHippy]

Yes I sleep with it down. I just can’t sleep with it up like some of you.
I did for months, wake up with headaches or weird bumps and lumps in my hair.
I can’t sleep with it up unless I want to be uncomfortable.

Could you try a satin pillow case? At least you would minimize the damage from sleeping with it down. I read further that you are under a lot of stress including financially, so I'm hesitant to suggest you spend money. I made the mistake last summer of sleeping on rough cotton cases because I got lazy while my bedroom was under renovation. I'm paying the price for it now. Point being, I can see the difference.

I agree with the others. Stress causes all kinds of hair problems. I hope you can find a way to lessen yours.

[lapushka]

How are you doing right now, OP? :) :flower:

[ebillan]

It took me a really long time to find a routine that reduced my hair frizz! The main thing that has helped is only using shampoo on the roots of my hair - I just condition the ends, and I use a leave-in oil cream on the ends! I also only wash it 2-3 times a week. It's a little dry at the ends still from some box dyes I tried, but it's much better than it used to be! I used to have all the problems you're having now, from the sounds of it. It took until I was 23 or 24 to figure out what to do with it!

[ebillan]

Oh, another thing you may want to try!! A long time ago I got some sort of keratin treatment done on my hair. I'm afraid I can't remember exactly what it was called... but it involved a lot of cream on the hair, washing, drying, washing again.... it made my hair SUPER shiny and sleek, and it stayed that way for about a year before slowly returning to normal!

Here's some comparison photos! The left is with the treatment, the right is several years later, well after it had worn off!

https://scontent-yyz1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/262270_10150289218050288_1754633_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&_nc_eui2=AeEc_7brO-aoDMnOINQoeumkd1GbtYmQNCu55YPww_V2fOkxBiUYkFnxnOp9 YuprrFn0pU-CT-W3r-ZKq5RSJBf4mJeckdPHgohVyTo7RaQeGw&oh=edc78378c1665c2debc652b09b460f22&oe=5C337566 https://78.media.tumblr.com/a7ae6adac093f5629f2ac2e7c55f36e3/tumblr_n186muSKXV1qji9bgo1_640.jpg

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Could you try a satin pillow case? At least you would minimize the damage from sleeping with it down. I read further that you are under a lot of stress including financially, so I'm hesitant to suggest you spend money. I made the mistake last summer of sleeping on rough cotton cases because I got lazy while my bedroom was under renovation. I'm paying the price for it now. Point being, I can see the difference.

I agree with the others. Stress causes all kinds of hair problems. I hope you can find a way to lessen yours.

I have wanted to buy one but I literally didnt pay rent this month at all and have about 120$ in my bank account at the moment. So hair is just not on my priorities.

[Alibran]

My hair looks like the picture you linked in your first post when it isn't getting enough protein.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

How are you doing right now, OP? :) :flower:

Not much better. My hair is constantly knotted either at the nape or the back of my head.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to S&d because the breakage will just come back.
I’ve given up trying to grow my hair long. I just don’t think it’ll grow any longer than it is in my profile photo.