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TeaAndSketches
August 10th, 2018, 05:04 PM
Hello Everyone,

I've had a problem in the past that I did not deal with very well when it came to my hair. After a three year healthy hair growth journey from a pixie cut, I was able to reach BSL hair. After a spontaneous decision, I cut my hair to above the shoulder with some layers that I now regret. I am finally able to pull my hair up into a somewhat high ponytail (which I plan to wear a lot as a protective style). I cut it because I was really frustrated one day and did not think it through to well. Sometimes, when life gets difficult or something drastic happens, I begin to think that a haircut will make everything better when it does not. I've said it so many times before that I want to grow my hair super long but always give up halfway through.

Has anyone else ever been through this? Is there a time where you ever get frustrated with your hair and if so, how do you deal with it? How do you stay motivated on your hair growth journey?

*Wednesday*
August 10th, 2018, 05:11 PM
That's why most people never achieve lengths past waist. They get board and cut or damage it at longer lengths and need to cut.

You have to love your hair. It's an external embodiment of you. If you view it as a nuisance at any length it will be. Most of us deal with hair by taking very good care and putting it up and forgetting about it. 😳 so to speak.

akurah
August 10th, 2018, 05:17 PM
I think it’s normal to get frustrated or bored and want to cut. Twice over the past four years I cut my hair back to waist and I am still mad at myself for doing that, I would probably be ankle length by now if I hadn’t (was knee length first cut, hip second cut). I’m finally back to classic, and whenever I get the itch I just remind myself how mad i was for those two cuts.

Ylva
August 10th, 2018, 05:34 PM
I'm sort of there with you, but regarding colour. Often I feel like quitting bleach and just growing out my natural hair, but it's not a decision I can take lightly, as bleaching the roots past a certain length won't produce a very even colour in one simple sitting. I just try to keep my mind focused on the goal, look at inspiring photos and try to remind myself of why I do what I do to my hair. And take joy in those times when I feel really satisfied with it.

trolleypup
August 10th, 2018, 06:08 PM
My last major cut was at CBL...a very sudden decision prompted by chewing on a mouthful of hair and pizza.

Hated it, figured out how to keep my hair out of the way until it stayed away easily. The urges are pretty rare now.

Milkchocolate
August 10th, 2018, 06:53 PM
I think that’s a very common thing! People get frustrated with long hair because of maintenence and boredom. Like *Wednesday* said, it’s something you have to really want. Like, if someone really wants something, they won’t give themselves other options you know? :)

I always think ahead, and be like..if I cut my hair would I be super sad and miss it? Yes. That’s why I don’t do that because I know my emotions very well!

How about if you get that feeling of boredom or frustration, don’t get a drastic cut. Try out a few inches and see how you feel about it. That way, if you regret it, you won’t have to wait as long to grow it out again :)

Blossomfox
August 10th, 2018, 07:54 PM
Definitely. I am so tempted to get layers now, but I know since I am at collarbone length it will take off more than I want to. So I'm trying my best not to think impulsively. I have a Pinterest board of long hair I love and focus on that when I want to cut my hair.

Jo Ann
August 10th, 2018, 08:37 PM
That's the best reason for the Two-Week Rule. Give yourself two weeks and, if you still feel the same way, and nothing else you've attempted has worked, do what you will, be it cut, dye, bleach, straighten, whatever. Usually, whatever urge is gripping you now will pass.

pailin
August 10th, 2018, 11:09 PM
I think this is part of the popularity of manic panic and other deposit only dyes, especially for dying ends. If you have light enough hair, it's one way to deal with boredom or the urge to change something -without doing anything permanent.
I think it also at least partly explains the popularity of hairtoys, and also of the more elaborate braiding. Learning a new cool style that you can do without changing your hair is fantastic when you get that urge to just. do.​something. different.

leayellena
August 11th, 2018, 03:04 AM
here´s my method that actually hhelped me to deal with my hair as a person with back pains.
always think one length further. always handle your hair as it already is one length further. for example, if you have now let´s say collarbone length, thhink about what would you do if your hair was actually at bsl. search cbl to bsl thread on lhc and check out what people discuss about this length. also check in copmparision the second thread bsl to waist, how people cope with that length between bsl and waist. I barelly reach a bit beyond hip length, but I always behave like my hair is already at classic. for example, I read that people at class length use more coney conditioners because their hair needs more slip, cones help detangle hair. how would I sleep with that mass of hair? braided? bunned? how big my bun would be if I reached class? surelly double as it is now at a bit past hip length. what would be better: a braid or a bun? or a loose bun?. these questions and behaviours help ME to be mentally prepared for what´s to come, especially because I don´t check out the length regularily. I usually see that my old method is not good anymore, so I try like I did it before. if the previously checked method workls better, tada! I may actually reached the next length.
a specific example: when my hair was at mbl (mid-back) I could still sit in the bath tub like I did when my hair was growing from pixie to mbl. but when my hair was at waist length I couldn´t sit in the bathtub anymore. the hair was litteraly draging my head and my neck. so I tried washing my hair standing up. since then on I still do this. I also checked out knee and beyond thread: gossamer washes her hair in a bucket. I think I will buy a bucket like that when my hair reaches knee length.

hope it helps and sorry for the rambling :)

lapushka
August 11th, 2018, 03:39 AM
I am finally able to pull my hair up into a somewhat high ponytail (which I plan to wear a lot as a protective style). I cut it because I was really frustrated one day and did not think it through to well. Sometimes, when life gets difficult or something drastic happens, I begin to think that a haircut will make everything better when it does not. I've said it so many times before that I want to grow my hair super long but always give up halfway through.

Has anyone else ever been through this? Is there a time where you ever get frustrated with your hair and if so, how do you deal with it? How do you stay motivated on your hair growth journey?

It sounds very familiar. In short: BTDT! A hundred times over! You just have to grasp yourself by the shoulders, shake well and say, cutting it won't make it grow. Also, it could be that BSL was an awkward length for you with a lot of difficulty in adapting to the new length (how to style, do updos and such). But on this site there are so so many tips in how to deal with hair of any length, that you'll get there, for sure.

You just need a little help.

Every spring I used to get the urge to get a brandnew "image" and cut and I usually went with it, it took *years* to get that habit out of my system, because you get so used to it being that way, that you want that "change".

But if you talk to us before actually going in for a cut, we'll have a nice chat to you. ;)

Happy growing!

Joules
August 11th, 2018, 03:53 AM
You need to love your hair. I don't think growing your hair long without loving it is even possible. You have to love it enough to not even think of chemical dyes and heat styling. You have to love your hair to not get mad at it when it doesn't want to behave.

A lot of people who can't grow their hair past waist (or even bsl) treat it like it owes them something. Like it must behave exactly like they want and be in the exact style and color as they want for however long they want. They try to bleach and fry it into submission, which works, but not for long. Normal hair doesn't always adhere to beauty standards, so if you want your hair long and healthy you need to accept it and work with your hair instead of against it. It's hard to do in today's society that tells women they're never good enough without (metaphorically) torturing their bodies and changing whatever can be changed.

My hair is thick but fine, wavy and extremely unruly. Even simple English braids and cinnamon buns are a struggle during the first day post-wash when my hair is squeaky clean. This year I reached hip for the first time in my life, and with this milestone came new struggles. Now it's more difficult to put my hair into a style just because of the sheer length of it. Like, I'll be trying to make a bun, and the ends would wrap around my fingers and wrist and tangle. Or I'll be braiding it, and the ends would backbraid and tangle. Am I frustrated? Yes, sure. Am I angry? No. I love my hair and I work with it gently and peacefully.

There were times when I just said "screw it" and chopped off a lot of length (first time from waist to bra strap, second time from waist to armpit). Back then I loved my hair enough to not torture it and give it decent care, but also I hated it enough to just cut instead of tweaking my hair habits and trying out new routines. It wasn't until I decided to listen to it and work a bit more with it that it started to grow further (or should I say I allowed it to grow urther?). I don't think any amount of tips and tricks can convince you to do it, you have to start loving your hair as it is, and everything else will fall into place by itself.

There's a lot of psychology in growing long hair, it's probably just as important as the actual hair care routine.

spidermom
August 11th, 2018, 08:50 AM
I joined LHC more than 10 years ago at about BSL with a goal to grow to classic length. I'd had that goal for many years, then would see a haircut I loved, and spontaneously go get my hair cut. What helped me was to remind myself how important it is in life to be able to set a goal and go through everything it takes to get there. I wasn't good at that, so I decided to "get good". I did grow my hair out to classic length. I also went back to school to change my career.

I had good reasons for cutting my hair in 2016 but now I'm growing it longer. It's harder now because I already know I can do the goals thing and am not sure I want to. I don't like how I look with hair all pulled back and up, but I also don't like hair tickling my neck or getting in my face. What keeps me growing right now is realizing how short it would have to be in order to get it off my neck and out of my face. I like variety, and hair that short wouldn't allow for much.

bparnell75
August 11th, 2018, 10:54 AM
The severe look is why I always do a pouf around my face, a Gibson girl effect, or wear my Bun up high over my left ear. No matter how, I always pull hair toward my face to soften and pouf it.

TeaAndSketches
August 11th, 2018, 01:03 PM
Thanks for the advice! I think that was the case with my hair being the length it was at. I was in between short and long hair and the goal just seemed so far away. Now that I have joined this community, I will definitely ask for advice and opinions before I do anything drastic to my hair!

TeaAndSketches
August 11th, 2018, 01:05 PM
I think that’s a very common thing! People get frustrated with long hair because of maintenence and boredom. Like *Wednesday* said, it’s something you have to really want. Like, if someone really wants something, they won’t give themselves other options you know? :)

I always think ahead, and be like..if I cut my hair would I be super sad and miss it? Yes. That’s why I don’t do that because I know my emotions very well!

How about if you get that feeling of boredom or frustration, don’t get a drastic cut. Try out a few inches and see how you feel about it. That way, if you regret it, you won’t have to wait as long to grow it out again :)

That's a great idea! Next time (even though I will try really hard not to now that I have the support of this community) if I decide to cut my hair, it will not be as short as shoulder length again because that is such a hard spot to grow hair past.

TeaAndSketches
August 11th, 2018, 01:09 PM
You need to love your hair. I don't think growing your hair long without loving it is even possible. You have to love it enough to not even think of chemical dyes and heat styling. You have to love your hair to not get mad at it when it doesn't want to behave.

A lot of people who can't grow their hair past waist (or even bsl) treat it like it owes them something. Like it must behave exactly like they want and be in the exact style and color as they want for however long they want. They try to bleach and fry it into submission, which works, but not for long. Normal hair doesn't always adhere to beauty standards, so if you want your hair long and healthy you need to accept it and work with your hair instead of against it. It's hard to do in today's society that tells women they're never good enough without (metaphorically) torturing their bodies and changing whatever can be changed.

My hair is thick but fine, wavy and extremely unruly. Even simple English braids and cinnamon buns are a struggle during the first day post-wash when my hair is squeaky clean. This year I reached hip for the first time in my life, and with this milestone came new struggles. Now it's more difficult to put my hair into a style just because of the sheer length of it. Like, I'll be trying to make a bun, and the ends would wrap around my fingers and wrist and tangle. Or I'll be braiding it, and the ends would backbraid and tangle. Am I frustrated? Yes, sure. Am I angry? No. I love my hair and I work with it gently and peacefully.

There were times when I just said "screw it" and chopped off a lot of length (first time from waist to bra strap, second time from waist to armpit). Back then I loved my hair enough to not torture it and give it decent care, but also I hated it enough to just cut instead of tweaking my hair habits and trying out new routines. It wasn't until I decided to listen to it and work a bit more with it that it started to grow further (or should I say I allowed it to grow urther?). I don't think any amount of tips and tricks can convince you to do it, you have to start loving your hair as it is, and everything else will fall into place by itself.

There's a lot of psychology in growing long hair, it's probably just as important as the actual hair care routine.

I agree, I think I also let the opinions of others and the influence of social media to dictate what I think I should be doing with my hair (since bobs and lobs are seen as trendy and suitable for everyone), I thought that short hair would make me feel more beautiful. What I failed to realize is that it takes a lot of styling (heat and products alike) to get that look and that's just not who I am. I am a brush and go kind of girl and heat styling just does not appeal to me. I will now be looking up pictures of long hair on Pinterest for motivation and continuing to get support from this lovely community for help!

Arciela
August 11th, 2018, 10:09 PM
I used to do that years ago but stopped once I actually grew out my natural hair. Once I saw how nice the color was, which is a reddish auburn mixed with a little bit of everything, I never wanted to cut it again. Only time I will cut is if I damage my hair..which I haven't done in a long time. What made me stop was learning to love and accept my hair, on good hair days and bad hair days and just realized that its not going to look perfect all the time and make the best of it :)

sophia_
August 14th, 2018, 11:12 AM
I have the issue with buns making me resemble an egg, but I've found that having a few shorter pieces in the front, not quite bangs, and leaving them out helps me look more like a human being.

Natalia_A00
August 14th, 2018, 06:30 PM
I feel you, I have done that all my life. I have always wanted really long hair, like a mermaid or some kind of fairy, but at some point got frustated and cut it... Also my mother hates my long hair, so she was constantly telling me to cut it off. So I finally succumbed. But now I don't listen to anybody's opinion and I take care of it. The proccess is slow, yes, but rewarding at the end...

Alila
August 14th, 2018, 07:46 PM
I think I personally have just accepted that cutting my hair or dying it are not a part of my life.
I love my hair color to much to cover it up and it hurts my soul to cut of length.

Despite never getting the urge to cut my hair I found setting small goals is very rewarding. Even if your end goal might be knee length dont set that as your current goal. Instead go for something that is just an inch or two away. Why would you want to cut of your hair when you've almost reached your goal?

My goals along the way of growing from waist to fingertip were: tailbone, wrist, classic and then fingertip.
I also like to call that I've reached my goal when my hair is already an inch longer. That way I'm always sure that I didn't make a mistake measuring my hair.

MissCarrion
August 16th, 2018, 12:01 AM
My hair is somewhere between hip and classic length, and every so often I just think to myself that it'd be fun to cut it! I have a really relaxed outlook on my hair, having had a pixie cut I grew to waist length, then cut to a long bob, which I've now grown again to where I am. The maintenance and care for my hair does drive me nuts sometimes, but at the moment I love my hair how it is, and I'll keep it as is until I really want a change. I do dye mine, but tend to stick to one shade

Pumpkin3826
August 16th, 2018, 10:59 AM
I get like that, right now I feel like my hair has been that same length for months. When I get frustrated and think well if it is not going to grow I might as well chop it off I try to remind my self how long it took to get here. (4.5 years for me.) Then I just put my hair up into a bun with a headband to pull it all off my face and I ignore it for a few months, then before you know it you can tell it has grown. It is so hard to not obsess, but benign neglect is my best advice. Try to find a style that works for your length. When I first started growing it was about your length and I would clip it half up, put a headband on and then try to put the rest in a low pony. It might look like a bit much but that what worked for me, I didn't care to much about other people's thoughts. That was the only way I could get it all to stay back. Good luck!!