"Too long"...

[Larki]

I am about halfway to classic and almost always wear my hair in a bun, but wore it in a ponytail yesterday and my older sister, who I normally get along wuite well with, grabbed my hair and started talking about how it was too long, that I could tuck my hair into my jeans, that the ends were too thin and she could chop off the last few inches. Just...ugh. I trim half an inch to an inch every three months. I have hardly any splits compared to just a year or two ago. I didn't ask for anyone's opinion. Almost all the women in my family have short hair, shoulder at the longest, and I just hate feeling like i have to keep it up 100% of the time unless I'm by myself. I like having it up for protective purposes but not to just avoid unwanted comments...

[Serimel]

I so feel you... My family doesn't make such comments fortunately but I have a friend who used to tell me to get my hair cut every time we met. She would grab the ends without asking me and point out how thin they were and asking what I do with such long hair anyway. My solution was to just start keeping my hair up every time I saw her and sometimes I would just avoid meeting. Someone might wonder why I just don't cut ties if I feel so uncomfortable around someone but I happen to be godmother of her daughter so I want to stay in good terms. Anyway, it's annoying to have to be limited to certain hairstyles just to avoid nasty comments and pressure. :D

"Live and let live" is my motto. Whatever the matter, people shouldn't meddle with each others businesses if they are doing something just for themselves and not hurting anyone else.

[Dark40]

I agree with Serimel. The only person in my family is my mother that makes nice comments on my hair. She had never pulled it in any kind of way saying that, "It's too long." Or, "You need a hair cut," and if anyone would tell me such a thing I would just ignore them, and continue to let my hair grow, and wear it down as much as I want to. I love Classic Length hair!

[flowerbabies]

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. It hurts especially bad when these types of comments come from family members, and sisters no less.

I’d be tempted to retort with “your hair is too short” just so she can see how it feels, but I probably wouldn’t do it...

[lapushka]

I am about halfway to classic and almost always wear my hair in a bun, but wore it in a ponytail yesterday and my older sister, who I normally get along wuite well with, grabbed my hair and started talking about how it was too long, that I could tuck my hair into my jeans, that the ends were too thin and she could chop off the last few inches. Just...ugh. I trim half an inch to an inch every three months. I have hardly any splits compared to just a year or two ago. I didn't ask for anyone's opinion. Almost all the women in my family have short hair, shoulder at the longest, and I just hate feeling like i have to keep it up 100% of the time unless I'm by myself. I like having it up for protective purposes but not to just avoid unwanted comments...

Well to say the least, that was not very nice of her. My dad last saw my hair loose a few weeks ago, and said it was getting very long, like isn't that too long, but he was nice about it. He said he could cut 20cm off if I wanted (jokingly), but your sister definitely crossed a line.

She may feel she is that close to you that she can just blurt out and say that. I would just counter her next and say, "my hair is none of your business, I am keeping it this long, period!"

[Wildhorserider]

If my sister said that, I’d threaten to strangle her with my braid!

[ursaV]

I'm sorry your sister made a rude comment, I definitely feel like I have those coming my way in the future. I have one of those families that comment on anything and everything about how you look. It's easier to hide for sure, but you have incredibly beautiful hair that is celebrated by many other people, including all of us at LHC :o

A thought on dealing with negativity... I suppose when one gets a thoughtless remark like that, it may help to think of all the positive things people have said to you or might have even been too shy to say but really wanted to. I've seen lots of lovely long hair in real life that I have not outwardly complimented, but I was inspired nonetheless. I'm sure there are many people out there who pass by you and send love your way, verbally or non verbally, so let that build up your confidence. Naysayers' unsolicited opinions deserve to be discarded and forgotten (even if they're from your sister)! Sometimes family is so comfortable that a little teasing is normal, but if you feel annoyed by this I'm sure telling her hair comments aren't appreciated unless they're constructive won't hurt :)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Try saying "It's not too long for me" with a smile.

[Panthera]

Try to think of it as a good thing. If people say your hair is too long, it means it is definitely growing and getting longer and closer to your goal length. So "too long" is actually a compliment! :) My secret in dealing with negative comments and events is trying to find something good in them and concentrating on the positive things.

[akurah]

“That’s funny, I always thought yours was too short.” Though maybe don’t actually tell her that, that could be a fight starter.

[Arciela]

I am sorry your sister acted that way to you :( If mine did I would just say "Well, its not long enough for me, so too bad!" :P

[spidermom]

People seem to think that because they're entitled to their opinion they are also entitled to force it on you. It's rude but we've probably all done it at one time or another. I remember a time about 35 years ago when I tried to talk a friend/neighbor into letting me trim her hair because I thought the ends were a mess. She would always tell me "maybe one of these days," but she should have told me to keep my opinion to myself because I was being thoughtless and rude.

[velvetpuddles]

I get truly irritated when anyone feels the need to comment negatively on anything personal about someone else. Clothing, hairstyle, shyness, height, etc. I'm definitely a live and let live sort of person.

My mother is the only person who comments negatively on my hair. Everytime I see her... "When are you gonna cut your hair?" And sometimes throwing in a "it looks so ratty." Otherwise, strangers and friends seem to like it and only say really nice things.

Some people just can't help themselves, and it seems to come more from those closest to us who don't feel the need to filter their thoughts as much. I'm sorry, though. The wasn't very kind of her. As long as you're happy, that's what matters!

[Beckstar]

Sorry your sister said such a thing to you. Comments sting more when they come from people we're close to. I'm sure she mean your hair is too gorgeous and she can't believe how much it has grown. Sister-speak, so hard to interpret.

[iforgotmylogin]

My mother is the only person who comments negatively on my hair. Everytime I see her... "When are you gonna cut your hair?" And sometimes throwing in a "it looks so ratty."

That's a bit cruel

[Serimel]

I agree with iforgotmylogin. That's not a nice thing to say... Sometimes moms cross the limits as well. And I believe they think they are doing a favour saying things like that to make you their best version of you. But everyone's ideal is not the same.

[leayellena]

Same here. Visited my family last month and they were like: it needs a serious chop to (shows the collarbone length on me).
Explained about microtrims, no trim challenges and s&d. Like this family cares about something else other than their opinion.
Happy to have a life away from them.

[Frazzled]

When people say it's too long I just take it as a complement! That's like saying you're "too smart", "too healthy", or "too physically fit".

[Garnetgem]

Sounds very much like my sister when she sees my hair its "you could do with a good cut" saying shoulder or chin length would be much better,always pesters me,to be honest a its constant thing,i tend to ignore her words but they do sting so i know where your coming from,i just tell i like it that long and it makes me happy,i once said to her "Not long enough" she went quiet then!

[Kake]

Your sister doesn't understand, she hasn't got all the information. Have your hair how you like it.

My father frequently makes negative remarks about my hair and how I look, but I'm never going to change myself based on rude remarks. That's just silly.

[spitfire511]

“That’s funny, I always thought yours was too short.” Though maybe don’t actually tell her that, that could be a fight starter.
;) This made my morning akurah!

[prairie lark]

:rant:"DONTTOUCHMYHAIR"

sheesh ~ she needs to know some boundaries

Your hair is beautiful Larki, don't let her get you down. :heart:

[Panthera]

My mother is the only person who comments negatively on my hair. Everytime I see her... "When are you gonna cut your hair?" And sometimes throwing in a "it looks so ratty." Otherwise, strangers and friends seem to like it and only say really nice things.



My mom does that too. You should cut your hair, your hair looks so dry, why is it so frizzy, you should do this and that, your hair looked much better when it was short, long hair doesn't suit you... Oh and then there's the ironical "Nice bun... :lol: " which is not meant as a compliment at all. I'm used to it but it's weird... aren't parents supposed to compliment and encourage children and accepting them as they are. I got my hair from my father's side, maybe that's the reason :laugh:

[clandestine]

Sorry your sister was rude to you. My mother makes similar comments and it is definitely rough. As long as you enjoy it do your best to rock it despite the haters!

[Xan]

Never too long;)

[ravenskey]

No such thing as too long as long as you're happy with it :)

[Larki]

Thank you guys!!