PLEASE HELP ME!!! Hair SEVERELY MATTED

[Girlw6ftofHair]

I am desperate and out of ideas! I just need help! I thought maybe someone here could suggest something. I apologize about the length of this post ahead of time.

I have 6 or so feet of hair. My length from my shoulders down is normal hair. From my scalp/head down to my shoulders is pretty much one huge solid matt or mat? It's more like one huge, solid dread.

I just got back from a salon and the man told me there was nothing he could do. I sat in my car for a while and cried, then came home. I saw him two weeks ago and he brushed out my hair but then stopped due to having another appointment. Which he charged me a ton for! He, at the time, was very optimistic about the whole situation. He did not have another opening for two weeks. With the situation I am in, I thought that was a long time, just for my hair to get worse but that is another subject I guess. He told me he would work on my hair from the time his salon opened, until he got it done. He said he had no other appointments today. Well, I drive the half an hour plus, in the rain and his attitude towards my hair did a complete 180. I was there less than ten minutes. He didn't work on it or anything. Just said all I can do is cut it. After promising me he would work on it for as long as I wanted.

Maybe it really is not able to be undone? However, I'm not sure this is the case. I have watched many YouTube videos from a group that I believe is called Tangled Hair Techs. They work solely on severely matted hair. The hair they work on is generally the entire head of hair, including the length. So maybe mine would be easier to work with, due to the length being okay? They have the option of going to one of their salons or having a hair tech come to you. I am unable to do either of these options. The closest salon of theirs to me is in Georgia. Honestly, I simply do not have the money to go to Georgia. I am also unable to have a Tech come to me for the same reason. I would not only have to pay for the services, which on average take about 3 or so days, from what I have seen. I would also have to pay for their accommodations and I believe food. This is just honestly out of the question. I emailed the company and told them my situation. They wrote back with exactly what the website says. I wrote back saying basically I knew all that and that neither of those were an option. I never heard back from them. I then managed to find the phone number to the salon in GA. I called them and managed to get in touch with a lady. I told her the situation and her response was that I needed to pray to God for help. Which I found very rude and insulting. She doesn't know me, how does she not know that I have not already been doing that? I will add that this entire company's slogan is "Don't cut your long hair, God intended women to have long hair. They are supposedly good Christians and want to help women/people save their hair but I guess money comes before God. I in no way expect any help to be given for free. However, I just can't afford to spend thousands of dollars. Honestly, I'm not sure the average person could do that.

The company does offer a product call Take Down Remover and supposedly it works. Or at least in all of the videos after using it, the hair is normal again. My problem with this is it's almost $25 a bottle plus I think $12 or $13 shipping. Which I am fine paying if it works. However, the lady I spoke to said on average it take 5 to 6 bottles. I'm wondering if I would need more, due to having more hair? Again, it unfortunately goes back to money. Plus, what if it doesn't work? I have already, literally spent my entire savings on hair products, brushes, natural remedies and so on. I am now completely broke. To add to this, due my increasing health problems in the last year, I am unable to work. So money is a bigger issue than it already was.

I saw a video on the news a few months or so back, where a teen suffered from depression and had her entire head matted up. She went into a salon and told them just to shave it off. The stylist managed to get her hair back to normal hair. So this is possible! It also means there are good people out there willing to help, who will not solely focus on how much money I can offer them. If anyone knows of a stylist like this, even if I have to drive and hour or so, please let me know!

All I do is cry continuously! This is not an exaggeration! I have spent my entire life growing out and caring for my hair. Now I am about to lose it all. To the point that I might actually have to buzz my head. To make matters worse, the few people around me and people I have spoke to at salons and such, simply do not understand. Nore do they find it a big deal. I hope that the people here will at least understand the way I am feeling.

I am just stuck. I don't know what to do. My head/scalp is in continuous pain and constantly itches. To the point, in the last several months especially, I feel like I am really losing my mind due to the itching. Not to mention the never ending feeling of dread from the entire situation.

If anyone has even the smallest idea of what might help, I would glad take it.

Again, I apologize for how long this is. I just wanted to be as detailed as possible.

[cjk]

A while back I stumbled upon some YouTube videos about dealing with and removing dredlocks. Since they're basically benign hair matting, I'm sure the approaches they use might also work for your hair as well. While having someone else do the work holds a certain appeal, you said that money is a factor so DIY solutions would be preferred.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nJaAgtgIDlE

To satiate my own curiosity, how did this happen? I would expect the ends to be tangled and eventually matted yet you say the opposite, that the ends are fine and the matting is near your scalp. I cannot wrap my head around how that happened.

[Dendra]

Oh my love, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I know that George Michael salons are very caring towards people with long hair and may have a suggestion or two for you? Here is a thread containing details of long hair friendly salons, perhaps there is one not too far away who can help: https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=11326

I'm sure there must be a way around it aside from buzzing. Like you said, if they did it for that girl (I watched that video too) then hopefully it can be done for you too.

Just know that we on here definitely understand the sadness and pain a situation like this can bring, and we are here for you. It sounds like you're feeling very stressed, is there anything you could so for yourself that usually calms you? I know it won't help the situation with your hair directly, but your mental health should come first and then you'll be more equipped to deal with the hair issue.

Big hugs :grouphug:

[Glitch]

I'm so sorry :heartbeat I don't have advice to offer you, but want to say that I've also seen the video you're talking about (depressed teen transformation one). Her hair went from looking like it couldn't possibly be salvaged, to pretty cute hair! It can be done for sure :o Similarly, no matter what state your hair is in, I'm confident it can be dealt with accordingly. If anything, it's boiling down to you finding the right stylist. In another video I saw, the stylist was saying it took her 4 days to slowly detange and recover a client's super matted hair. Perhaps it's a possibility for you to go through multiple sessions as well, and see if that helps?

6 feet of hair is highly impressive, and quite rare! No need to cut it when you like the length and have worked so hard. Please keep going <3 I agree with Dendra - there's definitely a solution (or multiple options) out there, you have just yet to come across it :grouphug:

[Girlw6ftofHair]

A while back I stumbled upon some YouTube videos about dealing with and removing dredlocks. Since they're basically benign hair matting, I'm sure the approaches they use might also work for your hair as well. While having someone else do the work holds a certain appeal, you said that money is a factor so DIY solutions would be preferred.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nJaAgtgIDlE

To satiate my own curiosity, how did this happen? I would expect the ends to be tangled and eventually matted yet you say the opposite, that the ends are fine and the matting is near your scalp. I cannot wrap my head around how that happened.

Thank you for the video, I will definitely check it out. I have watched all the videos on Youtube I have been able to find on taking out dreads. While I am totally fine and prefer a DIY solution, I really need another set of hands. The worst part is at the back, middle of my head, down to my neck. So I can't see it or get to it. I'm just at the wrong angle. Plus, duo to some health problems, after I have my arms up for more than a few minutes, they start to hurt so bad that I can no longer keep them up and I can't get to the back of my hair any other way.

I have been told multiple times, O, well just get someone to help you. I don't mean that against you, been told it a bunch of times by others is what I mean. Which is what I'm trying to do. Unfortunately, I don't really have anyone to help. Which is why I have been seeking help from a person from a salon or someone who deals with hair but that has yet to work.

I have no idea how it happened. Which I know sounds impossible. It just happened. I have always been prone to tangles. Tangles to the likes that I have never seen or heard of before. Then it just started to get worse. Somehow I managed to keep my length normal. My guess is the matting has a lot to do with all my natural shed hair being trapped in it. It would not surprise me if the majority of this giant dread is not even attached. I only say that due to all the shed hair and that's why the dread is so thick. As it is much thicker than all my hair together.

[littlestarface]

What kind of comb do you have? I use my wet brush for getting out my huge matted hairs and it works great, I just have to work at it slowly and even sometimes it takes hours for me. Start from the bottom and keep trying to work it loose with your fingers and get a little of a knob or whatever its called in a loose part of the hair and keep trying to comb it little by little. Its gonna take alot of time but you can do it. I am in the same boat as you that I cant ask anyone for help with my matted hair so I had to learn to do it myself sadly.

Take breaks in between and keep trying to use your fingers as well. I detangle mine dry hair and no product, its easier for me that way. I get mats like how a cat gets matted fur its horrible.

[Glitch]

Have you tried sessions with other stylists as well? That particular guy you spoke of doesn't seem reliable at all :(

[EdG]

Oil your hair, dampen it with water, or apply a silicone detangling spray. Slowly and carefully comb out the mats.

Severe mats can be combed out with a lot of time and patience.

The mats are most likely being held together by lint. You need to get the lint out. I wrote a blog entry about lint tangles (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/entry.php?b=132344). Clean the comb frequently.

I have been battling lint tangles for the past 1.5 years. I have also helped another LHC'er who experienced the same problem. It is fixable without sacrificing all of one's hair (you will of course lose the hairs that are not attached to the scalp).

cjk - lint accumulates near the scalp, not at the ends.
Ed

[Girlw6ftofHair]

Oh my love, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I know that George Michael salons are very caring towards people with long hair and may have a suggestion or two for you? Here is a thread containing details of long hair friendly salons, perhaps there is one not too far away who can help: https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=11326

I'm sure there must be a way around it aside from buzzing. Like you said, if they did it for that girl (I watched that video too) then hopefully it can be done for you too.

Just know that we on here definitely understand the sadness and pain a situation like this can bring, and we are here for you. It sounds like you're feeling very stressed, is there anything you could so for yourself that usually calms you? I know it won't help the situation with your hair directly, but your mental health should come first and then you'll be more equipped to deal with the hair issue.

Big hugs :grouphug:

Thank you, that is very kind of you. :)


Thank you for the suggestions. I have heard of those salons. Someone actually sent me the website and I am going to contact them as soon as I am emotionally able. I know how funny that must sound. I am just drained for today. While I want this taken care of immediately, I want to be in the right state of mind while I do it, if that makes any sense? I Googled them a bit ago and there were none that I could find near me. Honestly, I think the only one I was able to find was either in Ca or Ny? There must be more but I just wasn't able to find them. Thanks for the thread. I will definitely take a look at it.


I completely agree! I think it is fixable if someone would just help me physically get it undone. I think it's going to need to be a professional though. Not sure just a regular person could do it. Though, since I can't see it, I could be totally wrong on that. It's definitely going to take a ton of time. Which I'm definitely willing to put into it. It's just finding someone else who is willing to do so.


Thank you. You are right, I am BEYOND stressed. This has been going on for a long time. The stress if you want to call it that gets so bad I make myself sick. And that's on top of the constant crying. I'm not in the greatest of health and I know all of this is in no way helpful to that subject. Due to both subjects my mental health is just horrible. To where I think about suicide everyday. Which I know is not something I should admit in a public setting. Honestly, I can't think of anything that calms me. I have started taking a medicine but I try not to take it as it is addictive and that is just not what I need. When I get like this I sometimes try and sleep but I don't generally sleep. I think I am going to have to try for some sleep soon though. I don't really sleep well due to my health and now all of this with my hair. I never went to sleep last night dreading my hair appointment today. It's funny how much energy worrying and crying takes out of you as funny as that may sound. So right now I'm simply tired and upset. So not sure what else to do but try and rest.


Thank you again for everything and your kindness. :)

[spidermom]

It seems to me that the matt would have to be worked down the entire 6 feet of hair, and it's hard to wrap my head around what a pain that would be. Even thinking about it almost gives me a headache. I wouldn't be willing to do it and believe I'd cut back to at least BSL if not shorter to give myself or whoever is helping me less to have to work through. With being unable to hold your arms up for extended periods of time, shorter hair would be much easier for you to deal with anyway. I don't know what you'd want to keep the entire length with these issues. Of course, that's my feeling and not yours. I certainly wish you luck in finding the best way for you to deal with this problem.

[cjk]

Thank you for the video, I will definitely check it out.

To synopsize...

Dredlocks are often held together with wax. You don't have dreds but might have other buildup. So thoroughly shampoo with something capable of getting that out. On this forum we call that a final wash or a clarifying wash, and some even use Dawn dish soap to do it.

Generously apply a super slippery conditioner. And have it diluted in a spray bottle, too, for later in the process. Personally I'd go for a silicone conditioner because of the increased slip but that's just a guess.

Gently work from the tips towards the scalp, picking with a rattail to dislodge and separate the tangles. It'll be a long and tedious process, and having help is suggested.

Don't be overly alarmed by the hair coming out, much of it is natural shed.

After untangled, shampoo and condition well. And allow your hair to recover for a few days, the process is less than ideal but still better than a buzz cut.

The other videos are mostly variations on that basic theme. The underlying approach seems sound.

I wish you the best of luck, and be sure to take before/during/after photos. It'll undoubtedly be an interesting process.

[Dendra]

Thank you, that is very kind of you. :)


Thank you for the suggestions. I have heard of those salons. Someone actually sent me the website and I am going to contact them as soon as I am emotionally able. I know how funny that must sound. I am just drained for today. While I want this taken care of immediately, I want to be in the right state of mind while I do it, if that makes any sense? I Googled them a bit ago and there were none that I could find near me. Honestly, I think the only one I was able to find was either in Ca or Ny? There must be more but I just wasn't able to find them. Thanks for the thread. I will definitely take a look at it.


I completely agree! I think it is fixable if someone would just help me physically get it undone. I think it's going to need to be a professional though. Not sure just a regular person could do it. Though, since I can't see it, I could be totally wrong on that. It's definitely going to take a ton of time. Which I'm definitely willing to put into it. It's just finding someone else who is willing to do so.


Thank you. You are right, I am BEYOND stressed. This has been going on for a long time. The stress if you want to call it that gets so bad I make myself sick. And that's on top of the constant crying. I'm not in the greatest of health and I know all of this is in no way helpful to that subject. Due to both subjects my mental health is just horrible. To where I think about suicide everyday. Which I know is not something I should admit in a public setting. Honestly, I can't think of anything that calms me. I have started taking a medicine but I try not to take it as it is addictive and that is just not what I need. When I get like this I sometimes try and sleep but I don't generally sleep. I think I am going to have to try for some sleep soon though. I don't really sleep well due to my health and now all of this with my hair. I never went to sleep last night dreading my hair appointment today. It's funny how much energy worrying and crying takes out of you as funny as that may sound. So right now I'm simply tired and upset. So not sure what else to do but try and rest.


Thank you again for everything and your kindness. :)

You are more than welcome, I am glad I could help in some small way :)

I am really sad to hear that things are so difficult that you've found yourself thinking of suicide, it sounds like all the pressures are mounting up and up and your mind just needs and escape or some respite at least. I hope you have a support network who can help you out in times like this, but know that we are here and we care! Money problems and health problems combined make me feel desperately stressed too, and especially with not sleeping on top of that I can easily see why you're so upset. Be as kind to yourself as you can right now, just focus on soothing yourself as best you can, and I'm sure, with the motivation you clearly have, you will get this matting problem solved. EdG's suggestion sounds like a good place to start.

Wishing you lots of luck :blossom:

[MoonRabbit]

I combed out my dreads before.

I slathered my hair in olive oil and tons of conditioner. Spent the next 8 hours working them out with my fingers. It's a long and tedious process but with some patience and acceptance that damage will occur you can get your hair back.

[Joules]

I would suggest slathering your hair in conditioner. Any conditioner will work, even silicone-free, apply on wet hair and proceed with detangling. Maybe get a wet brush or a tangle teezer, I have a TT and it's a miracle.

Also, I'm really sorry if it's gonna sound rude, but if your arms hurt and you can't properly handle 6 ft of hair, maybe it would be a good idea to cut it to more manageable length? I'm not even talking super short like APL or BSL. Something around tailbone length is still long and easier to deal with. I'm sure hairdressers freak out not because of the matting itself, but because of the length of your hair.

[lapushka]

Have you tried a thick moisturizing conditioner (the ones for dry damaged hair are the most moisturizing on the market). I can totally recommend the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner. Put that on your scalp to shoulders and let it sit for half an hour at least. Then use a Wet brush to gently brush through.

I seem to remember you posted about a similar issue a while back?

[Aredhel]

If all else fails, are you able to have it cut to a shorter length at all just to make your life easier (even de-matting 4 or 5 feet of hair would be a much easier task than 6 feet)? I'm just concerned about the part where you mentioned having suicidal thoughts daily over this, surely hair isn't worth that... your happiness and well-being are far more important.:heartbeat

[blushy]

Hi there, I'm sorry this happened to you....Here is the only thing I can think of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEEoZBFjC54

She clearly has a different hair texture than yours....haha, but she has some unique ways of steaming and detangling the hair that I imagine would work on all hair types....

Sorry if this doesn't help!! Good luck!

[Julescarm]

Hey. Sorry to hear about this. 6 feet is impressive indeed. I agree with everyone on conditioner. This might sound odd but if you can't find a salon, how about someome who works with horses? They work with long hair alot. I'd help you personally but I'm in missouri. My heart goes out to you though.

[Ligeia Noire]

Hello. I remember you posting about that same problem before and I was so curious to know if all our suggestions worked but you never replied back. Anyway, I wouldn't mind giving it a try and help detangle it for you if you live close but I don't think you do. My hair is not that long but as I mentioned in the other thread you started, it gets tangled pretty easily and even matted sometimes. This morning was a great example. I tried to curl my ends by sleeping on twisted coiled sections and I could not even separate the strands. So, I just soaked it and then slathered in Pantene and with a comb and patience it all came undone. I was late for work though.
A very heavy and thick conditioner works miracles. And yes sleeping in braided hair and never loosely braid. Because if loose, it will tangle near the scalp. And always combing the scalp and behind the ears every morning helps a lot. Hope you can figure it out.

[Dendra]

If all else fails, are you able to have it cut to a shorter length at all just to make your life easier (even de-matting 4 or 5 feet of hair would be a much easier task than 6 feet)? I'm just concerned about the part where you mentioned having suicidal thoughts daily over this, surely hair isn't worth that... your happiness and well-being are far more important.:heartbeat

That's a very good point.

[lapushka]

Hello. I remember you posting about that same problem before and I was so curious to know if all our suggestions worked but you never replied back. Anyway, I wouldn't mind giving it a try and help detangle it for you if you live close but I don't think you do. My hair is not that long but as I mentioned in the other thread you started, it gets tangled pretty easily and even matted sometimes. This morning was a great example. I tried to curl my ends by sleeping on twisted coiled sections and I could not even separate the strands. So, I just soaked it and then slathered in Pantene and with a comb and patience it all came undone. I was late for work though.
A very heavy and thick conditioner works miracles. And yes sleeping in braided hair and never loosely braid. Because if loose, it will tangle near the scalp. And always combing the scalp and behind the ears every morning helps a lot. Hope you can figure it out.

Yes I had been curious about that too. Seems like what I suggested wasn't even picked up upon, so... oh well...

[Ligeia Noire]

Yeah did you try to clarify and even chelate? I mean, it might not even be shed hairs but it could be that since you mentioned you cant comb the hair at the back of your head due to health issues, it might be that you have not been combing all the tangles out for months. If your hair hasn't been properly detangled every week at least. It might be a an accumulation of shed hairs tangles and lint. If you cant comb thoroughly due to health issues you definitely need another set of hands that knows what to do and time. Hair that long and health issues usually leads people to having to cut shorter. I hope you find someone that can help you though and not end up cutting it.

[spidermom]

I just wanted to add that you are not your hair; you're so much more. I know it takes a lot of patience to grow six feet of hair, so congratulations for that, but if it no longer works for who you are and how you live your life, you will still be the same you if you cut it shorter. I figure that the hair got matted at your scalp because you did not have the time or the capability to take it down and detangle it every day. Clearly (to my way of thinking), the ultra-long hair isn't working for you anymore.

[MusicalSpoons]

If all else fails, are you able to have it cut to a shorter length at all just to make your life easier (even de-matting 4 or 5 feet of hair would be a much easier task than 6 feet)? I'm just concerned about the part where you mentioned having suicidal thoughts daily over this, surely hair isn't worth that... your happiness and well-being are far more important.:heartbeat


I just wanted to add that you are not your hair; you're so much more. I know it takes a lot of patience to grow six feet of hair, so congratulations for that, but if it no longer works for who you are and how you live your life, you will still be the same you if you cut it shorter. I figure that the hair got matted at your scalp because you did not have the time or the capability to take it down and detangle it every day. Clearly (to my way of thinking), the ultra-long hair isn't working for you anymore.

These kinds of comments are probably not what you want to hear, but as somebody with increasingly ill health I do understand - when I hold my arms up for too long (even for the first part of braiding, or if I have to redo a bun straight away) they hurt, feel very heavy, and are then useless until the muscles have recovered. I've not been purposely growing my hair for very long, just under 2 years, and for me it was nice to discover something I could work on despite my health, especially as most of my other hobbies I can no longer do. But I also know that there may come a point when it gets too long to deal with on a daily basis, in which case I'll have to cut back to where the last comfortable length was; I hope this doesn't happen before calf length but if it does, I'll just have to accept it.
All of which is context for this: I agree with the comments quoted. Your happiness and wellbeing are more important, and while part of your happiness may well be linked to your hair, actually the overwhelming result of your hair seems to be negative, for now. Of course I really hope you can somehow untangle your hair without having to lose length, which is the most immediate issue. But long-term, cutting shorter (shorter, not short! Even 4-5 feet of hair would be incredibly long still!) might be something to consider for the sake of your mental health. Of course, I do hope that you would be able to make such a decision based on what you choose, not due to immediate necessity. :flowers:

[2gaits]

Funny someone mentioned horses because this thread made me think of my sister's horse's tail that is very thick and super long. She braids his tail and it becomes a tangled mess from him swishing it around. We use a horse product called cowboy magic detangler. Start at the bottom and rectangle with plenty of product. Might work for strangling human hair.

[Julescarm]

Funny someone mentioned horses because this thread made me think of my sister's horse's tail that is very thick and super long. She braids his tail and it becomes a tangled mess from him swishing it around. We use a horse product called cowboy magic detangler. Start at the bottom and rectangle with plenty of product. Might work for strangling human hair.

My post! Figured horses get tangles too, and if it was a show horse, you would try to save the hair before cutting and you would know some helpful tips. :)

[AutobotsAttack]

cjk - lint accumulates near the scalp, not at the ends.
Ed

As someone with extremely textured hair. Lint tangles form anywhere on my head. And lint accumulates anywhere it pleases to as well. They can be at the very tips of my ends, a little ways upward from my ends, smack dab in the middle, near my ears, or on my scalp.

I think very curly or spiral type ringlets can get curls anywhere. Not just the scalp. May be true for straighter hair but not always for textured or curly hair or even hair that’s fine textured.

[Ligeia Noire]

I just wanted to add that you are not your hair; you're so much more. I know it takes a lot of patience to grow six feet of hair, so congratulations for that, but if it no longer works for who you are and how you live your life, you will still be the same you if you cut it shorter. I figure that the hair got matted at your scalp because you did not have the time or the capability to take it down and detangle it every day. Clearly (to my way of thinking), the ultra-long hair isn't working for you anymore.

This! Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, it reminds me of Madora, some people may remember her, she also cut her hair shorter due to health issues. My mom did it too last year, she had knee to floor all her life but with age it is just easier to deal with shorter lengths, some might be able to but most are not. This is actually why I said I would not go bald for any money in the world because I may never be able to grow my hair to the floor and the clock keeps ticking. I am all for long longer but if it is making your life harder, you might have to think carefully about trimming. Unless you see your condition improving or someone helping you with the combing.

[Glitch]

I agree as well. I didn't know OP has been dealing with this since last summer (I just saw her old thread) - I can't imagine :( This continuous stress certainly isn't doing any favors for mental health, and since it's been so long, maybe creeping back up to a shorter length is the key :flower:

[lapushka]

I have almost classic length, but my mom helps me take care of it, because it is difficult for me.

I would suggest getting help with it, but if you are somehow able to do it on your own, just slather your scalp to shoulders in conditioner and let it sit. Using a little bit of oil mixed in there might strengthen the mixture in favor of detangling better. Then clarify and condition well, again.

Hope you can manage this. Let us know!

[Glitch]

I have almost classic length, but my mom helps me take care of it, because it is difficult for me.

I would suggest getting help with it, but if you are somehow able to do it on your own, just slather your scalp to shoulders in conditioner and let it sit. Using a little bit of oil mixed in there might strengthen the mixture in favor of detangling better. Then clarify and condition well, again.

Hope you can manage this. Let us know!

Oh yeah, forgot all about that! My grandma used to help my mom take care of hers :D

Hope everything works out :o

[Queerantine]

Funny someone mentioned horses because this thread made me think of my sister's horse's tail that is very thick and super long. She braids his tail and it becomes a tangled mess from him swishing it around. We use a horse product called cowboy magic detangler. Start at the bottom and rectangle with plenty of product. Might work for strangling human hair.

Agreeing with all the horse comments here -

I'm a horse person - what we do for the horses' tails (in the barns I've worked for) is leave them entirely alone, except right before a show, when we generously douse them in a product called Show Sheen prior to detangling. It is a silicone-based product, which is why we don't use it on the daily, but it works REALLY WELL for getting those long term tangles out. It comes in a spray bottle which makes it super easy to use, and you'll only need one bottle . On the horse's tails at least, it works WAY BETTER than putting conditioner into the hair, and won't gunk up the knots in the same way if you aren't able to do get all the matting out in one session.

Cowboy Magic Detangler is great, and I actually prefer it to Show Sheen for regular use as it's not as crazy high on the silicone and better for the hair long-term, but in an emergency situation like this, I think you need the extra slip to save your hair in the first place.

Of course, horse hair is way coarser than human hair, but it may be your best (and most economical) bet.

[lapushka]

Agreeing with all the horse comments here -

I'm a horse person - what we do for the horses' tails (in the barns I've worked for) is leave them entirely alone, except right before a show, when we generously douse them in a product called Show Sheen prior to detangling. It is a silicone-based product, which is why we don't use it on the daily, but it works REALLY WELL for getting those long term tangles out. It comes in a spray bottle which makes it super easy to use, and you'll only need one bottle . On the horse's tails at least, it works WAY BETTER than putting conditioner into the hair, and won't gunk up the knots in the same way if you aren't able to do get all the matting out in one session.

Cowboy Magic Detangler is great, and I actually prefer it to Show Sheen for regular use as it's not as crazy high on the silicone and better for the hair long-term, but in an emergency situation like this, I think you need the extra slip to save your hair in the first place.

Of course, horse hair is way coarser than human hair, but it may be your best (and most economical) bet.

Wow, I had no idea these products existed, and I suppose a horse's tail can get pretty darn matted!

Loved reading about this!

[mwallingford]

Ooooh, I agree with all the others about the horse mane de tangler!!! I swear by Cowboy Magic, because my mare can get dreadlocks in her mane and tail if I'm not SUPER careful to detangle often and that stuff gets through it in a heartbeat. Best of luck! :grouphug:

[Queerantine]

I like that Julescarm mentioned horse people and we galloped in to answer the call.

I wish I lived closer... I'd arm myself with Show Sheen and come help out.

[littlestarface]

Wow this cowboy magic sounds amazing! I need to get this when I have money again.

[*Wednesday*]

I hope the OP comes back with an update if she was able to fix this with the given advice.

[daisy rei]

I hope the OP comes back with an update if she was able to fix this with the given advice.

i'd like to hear an update as well. op's mental health sounded like it was in a shaky state and now she's not responding. :(


when i think about how long it took us to work burs out of the horses' manes and tails....i definitely think horse people would attack that 6 ft mane with a vengeance.

[lapushka]

Also, the itching (scalp) worries me a little. Is there flaking visible, because if there is, I would consult with a dermatologist or even your regular doctor for this.

[EdG]

The horse detangler is interesting. Back when I used diluted shampoo, my favorite brand was a horse shampoo. ;)
Ed

[Sarahlabyrinth]

The horse detangler is interesting. Back when I used diluted shampoo, my favorite brand was a horse shampoo. ;)
Ed

Which one? :D

[Beckstar]

The horse detangler is interesting. Back when I used diluted shampoo, my favorite brand was a horse shampoo. ;)
Ed

Mane and Tail?

[EdG]

Which one? :DMiracle Mane by Straight Arrow. It seems to be a less expensive version of Mane 'n Tail shampoo.

I still use Miracle Mane as a body wash. :)
Ed

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Miracle Mane by Straight Arrow. It seems to be a less expensive version of Mane 'n Tail shampoo.

I still use Miracle Mane as a body wash. :)
Ed

What did you like so much about it, as a shampoo?

[EdG]

What did you like so much about it, as a shampoo?Miracle Mane dilutes easily. It is inexpensive ($3 USD for a 32 ounce bottle), uses sodium rather than ammonium, has an unobnoxious scent, and contains minimal silicones. It is good at cleaning - I can use it to wash dishes and it does not dry out my skin.
Ed

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Miracle Mane dilutes easily. It is inexpensive ($3 USD for a 32 ounce bottle), uses sodium rather than ammonium, has an unobnoxious scent, and contains minimal silicones. It is good at cleaning - I can use it to wash dishes and it does not dry out my skin.
Ed

Sounds good! I doubt that I would get it here so cheaply.

[Wendyp]

Tbh horse hair is much different than human. It’s extremely course, much coarser than the coarsest human hair. It’s coarse and thick so that when a fly lands on their butts they see it and swat and kill the fly with their tails. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble here but I have 7 horses currently. I don’t know any horse people that use these products on themselves. So research the ingredients before using. I think they are designed to clean extremely throughly to cut through mud and poo and then to coat and detangle. Just don’t want people thinking they can use the products the same way.

[EdG]

Sounds good! I doubt that I would get it here so cheaply.You may be able to find a similar local brand.

I think it is funny how even a shampoo company is using the standard business technique of maximizing profits by offering both a premium brand and a budget brand. This is shampoo after all. :rollin:
Ed

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I think Mane and Tail shampoo is available here but not the Miracle Mane.

[lapushka]

Tbh horse hair is much different than human. It’s extremely course, much coarser than the coarsest human hair. It’s coarse and thick so that when a fly lands on their butts they see it and swat and kill the fly with their tails. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble here but I have 7 horses currently. I don’t know any horse people that use these products on themselves. So research the ingredients before using. I think they are designed to clean extremely throughly to cut through mud and poo and then to coat and detangle. Just don’t want people thinking they can use the products the same way.

Yet Mane 'n Tail is geared towards human use and use in horses. So I don't see why not!

[Kitt3n]

I don't know your hair routine but you could try using vinegar rinses in the future. When I stopped using conditioner and only used vinegar rinses my hair barely tangles anymore. I just realized it after I started using conditioner again and then I couldn't run my fingers through it without getting knots. It's been a week with the vinegar rinses and my hands glide through much easier. Of course my hair has gotten a little more oily too but it had to adjust as well. I hope you find something that works. :]

[Wendyp]

Yet Mane 'n Tail is geared towards human use and use in horses. So I don't see why not!

orginally it was formulated for horses, so yeah somewhere it converted to both. I am a serial product tryer, so im not saying people shouldnt try it, but be careful with horse products, they are very different creatures than us. for me it dried my hair out, but admittedly i have finicky hair. the best horse stuff though is micro tek, that stuff is superior. but heres the origin of mane and tail products:

Originally created on the Katzev family horse farm in rural New Jersey, the Original Mane 'n Tail Shampoo and Conditioner were both targeted for show horses with long flowing mane and tails. ... A family passion that became a niche in the equine industry has a history of “aiming to please its customers”.

I just dont want people to think that if they use horse products they will have a head full of hair looking like a horses tail. their tails are tough, as like i said they have a purpose, to kill bugs. Let me tell you if they whip you with their tails it hurts.

[Kitt3n]

I don't know your hair routine but you could try using vinegar rinses in the future. When I stopped using conditioner and only used vinegar rinses my hair barely tangles anymore. I just realized it after I started using conditioner again and then I couldn't run my fingers through it without getting knots. It's been a week with the vinegar rinses and my hands glide through much easier. Of course my hair has gotten a little more oily too but it had to adjust as well. I hope you find something that works. :]

[Aredhel]

Actually Cowboy Magic - as was mentioned earlier as a horse product - seems to be suitable for human use as well. :)

https://cowboymagic.com/cowboy-magic-personal-hair-care/
https://cowboymagic.com/products/cowboy-magic-detangler-shine/

The detangler shine alleges:

COWBOY MAGIC® Detangler & Shine detangles all types of hair knots, tangles and dreadlocks instantly, no matter how difficult hair is to manage.

[mwallingford]

^^^Agreed!^^^

While I certainly agree that horse hair and human hair are far different in structure, I don't believe there is too much of a difference in regards to their purpose. I'm certainly not claiming to be an expert especially since I don't bathe my horse any more frequently than necessary, but I'm not sure that Mane n' Tail and Cowboy Magic are formulated any more harshly than human shampoos. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is used to clean car engines and that is the first ingredient in many shampoos made for humans. I used Suave clarifying shampoo on my mare once for experimentation and it got through the mud and animal excretion just as well or even better than shampoo "formulated" for horses. Different products will almost certainly work differently for each individual person, but as a whole I would say it's worth trying if you're interested in it. I've never used horse shampoo or conditioner for myself, but I can testify to the detangling properties of the Cowboy Magic detangler for my hair, which makes sense to me since it's loaded with a lot of cones and is meant for heavy duty use.

I hope this wasn't too abrupt, and if I was incorrect in saying anything I apologize!

[Girlw6ftofHair]

Hi all, I'm just now able to get back online since I first posted, to see if I had any replies. I did not expect six pages worth! Which I am thankful for and will read all tomorrow. I have read a good bit already. Tomorrow or Sunday, I am going to try and sit down and make a list of every suggestion. I will try them all if need be. I am also going to watch all videos that were posted. I am not always able to get online every day, so my responses may be a day or so. I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to respond. I very much appreciate it. I tried for a good many hours earlier today to work on it. I started at one side of my head and maybe got an inch undone. I did this without any products as I read somewhere to try doing it dry as your hair is less vulnerable dry. Tbh, other than being in a lot of pain, I stopped as I was out of hair to pull on. I was doing this with my fingers strand by stand. It got to where every strand I pulled on, that was still attached, did no budge. So that's just a small update. I also want to apologise for this not all being spaced out properly. I'm on my phone and for some reason it's not letting me space out my paragraphs.

[Girlw6ftofHair]

While I have internet, I am trying to read as many comments as possible. Just to touch base on a few things.
1. I have two different kinds of Wet Brush and the Wet Brush Comb. I tried the Tangle Teezer, among many other brushes and they did not work.
2. Yes, months ago I did post. It was about horrible tangles. That is when this all started. I did so much research online that I kept coming back to posts from here. So I found the actual website and became a member. Many other members were very helpful in giving ideas and products I could try. To the point where I believe I had 20 some pages with my responses mixed in. While I might not have had the time or mind to reply to every single comment/post, I did beyond appreciate everyone's suggestions and tried 99 percent of them until I ran out of money for products. I have literally spent my entire savings on hair products, brushes, natural ingredients and so on. It wasn't much by any means but it was all I had. Which is now gone. Nothing worked and many things just made it worse. I recognize one or two members who commented on this new thread from their pictures, who commented when I first joined. Please don't think I in any way did not take all the advice to heart, as I did. Honestly, I got so frustrated with the entire situation. To the point where my already existing depression got worse. Around that time my health also started going further downhill. While neither of these are excuses, they certainly didn't help matters. It just seemed then until now, Everytime I touch my hair, I make it worse. No matter how close I follow someone's advice.
3. I have tried every horse product I can get my hands on. A few just didn't work and a few made it much worse. I have called every person I can find who deals with horses and no one has any advice or is willing to even look at my hair when it comes to people who groom horses.
4. Since this all started until now, I have cut off two or so feet, give or take. I'm not sure what my actual length was before the first cut. I am 5'8 and my hair was way under my feet. I'm guessing it is now slightly over five feet, closeish to six but this is just a guess. I have never had split ends and while my ends are a bit thinner, they are generally healthy. Especially due to their age. Anything that might have been unhealthy or past repair, went with all the length that has already been cut off.
5. Yes, I know this sounds very weird me saying I don't have the strength to keep my arms up but have very long hair. At the same time, even with very long hair, I can't say I have ever needed to hold my arms up in this way, for this amount of time, for anything before. So it's never been an issue, until now. I mean, I don't hold my hands/arms above my head to brush my hair? I hope this helps answer some questions and gives a bit more insight. I also hope that my paragraphs actually space out this time. So it's not just one giant blob.

[Corvana]

Ah I do wish you were closer to me. My son's hair gets matted in a similar way, because it's so so fine and he sleeps roughly (this is what causes his, not necessarily yours). He loves his hair, though, so I've gotten pretty good at detangling his hair.

I also often detangle my roommate's hair, which is also incredibly fine and tangles super easily. I'm apparently the go-to for detangling :laugh:.

My only advice really is patience. Just take your time and try to keep the detangled sections detangled. And if you're ever in Texas, let me know!

[littlestarface]

So what are you thinking about doing girlw6ftofhair?? Are you gonna keep detangling day by day or just cut it off?

[Aredhel]

3. I have tried every horse product I can get my hands on. A few just didn't work and a few made it much worse. I have called every person I can find who deals with horses and no one has any advice or is willing to even look at my hair when it comes to people who groom horses.

But did you try some of the specific brands mentioned in this thread? Not all horse products are the same, and the one I quoted above claims to be able to de-matt even the most stubborn of tangles, including dreadlocks.

[ShirleyAnn]

When I was 8 or 9 I had a big honkin Matt bigger than a softball in the underneath the back of my hair (back where it really hurts when you pull on it!)

I had to just work on it a little at a time every day. First I got it to separate into smaller Matt's which I could little by little get undone. I worked on that sucker for 2 or 3 weeks!

Once u finally got it all out I started braiding my hair at bedtime, because that's when mine would get tangled.

[Ligeia Noire]

I think that if you can't detangle thoroughly on a weekly basis by yourself due to health or heavy matting you will definitely need someone to help. Whatever you decide. Best of luck.

[lapushka]

Can you tell us about how it became so tangled in the first place? There must have been a time where that was no issue? Or, was it always this much of a problem for you.

Maybe then go back to a length where this was not so much of a problem for you? You can always grow it back when it gets more easy to manage by yourself.

I appreciate you commenting back to us. I'm glad what we said didn't go unnoticed. :flower:

[cjk]

1. I have two different kinds of Wet Brush and the Wet Brush Comb. I tried the Tangle Teezer, among many other brushes and they did not work.

2. ...tried 99 percent of them until I ran out of money for products. I have literally spent my entire savings on hair products,

3. I have tried every horse product I can get my hands on. A few just didn't work and a few made it much worse. I have called every person I can find who deals with horses and no one has any advice or is willing to even look at my hair when it comes to people who groom horses.

A few thoughts.

First, it sounds like you're of the mind that PRODUCTS are the answer. Everything you write says "I bought a new brush," or "I bought the most expensive serum." If a specific product were the answer for you, you wouldn't be having this problem. Please, take a step back and consider what each of those products is supposed to do.

Conditioner, for instance, is supposed to add moisture and provide slip. Oils do that too. Instead of spending more and more money on so many products, find something that actually provides the effect you want.

Slippery, for instance, could be provided by olive oil from your kitchen. Heck, store brand margarine is slippery! Many people use mayonnaise for a conditioning hair mask.

Heck, there is an entire community of curlies who use nothing but products from Dollar Tree! Price does not guarantee compatibility with your needs. The "best" product for each of us may not be the most expensive.

Second, it's only hair! You've spent your life savings?! That's...disturbing. Deeply so. It's only hair, and while we consider it quite important, recognize its importance in self image and all that stuff...what you described is significantly over the top. I know you're depressed and I hope you're getting treatment for that. But has your therapist ever mentioned obsessive tendencies?

Third, you contacted horse people. What sorts of horse people and, precisely, are you asking them? Often what you say is not as important as how you say it. I wonder if we have any members in Virginia who could help you, in person? Surely you can't be the only one.

I wish you all the best of luck with this. You've had a tough time, and for such a long time too. It is my sincere hope that you can get this taken care of.

[spidermom]

A few thoughts.

First, it sounds like you're of the mind that PRODUCTS are the answer. Everything you write says "I bought a new brush," or "I bought the most expensive serum." If a specific product were the answer for you, you wouldn't be having this problem. Please, take a step back and consider what each of those products is supposed to do.

Conditioner, for instance, is supposed to add moisture and provide slip. Oils do that too. Instead of spending more and more money on so many products, find something that actually provides the effect you want.

Slippery, for instance, could be provided by olive oil from your kitchen. Heck, store brand margarine is slippery! Many people use mayonnaise for a conditioning hair mask.

Heck, there is an entire community of curlies who use nothing but products from Dollar Tree! Price does not guarantee compatibility with your needs. The "best" product for each of us may not be the most expensive.

Second, it's only hair! You've spent your life savings?! That's...disturbing. Deeply so. It's only hair, and while we consider it quite important, recognize its importance in self image and all that stuff...what you described is significantly over the top. I know you're depressed and I hope you're getting treatment for that. But has your therapist ever mentioned obsessive tendencies?

Third, you contacted horse people. What sorts of horse people and, precisely, are you asking them? Often what you say is not as important as how you say it. I wonder if we have any members in Virginia who could help you, in person? Surely you can't be the only one.

I wish you all the best of luck with this. You've had a tough time, and for such a long time too. It is my sincere hope that you can get this taken care of.

I'm going to add to this that products may be contributing to the problem. Dried out conditioner and oil is pretty tacky stuff, and it sounds like you've been dumping things onto this matt but not being able to get the matt out, which means you're not rinsing all the product out. Honestly, I think you've probably got a mass of glued-together strands by now and really need to cut back and start fresh. You can gradually build up strength in your arms while it grows back out so that this problem can be prevented in the future.

[Belle03]

It seems to me that the matt would have to be worked down the entire 6 feet of hair, and it's hard to wrap my head around what a pain that would be. Even thinking about it almost gives me a headache. I wouldn't be willing to do it and believe I'd cut back to at least BSL if not shorter to give myself or whoever is helping me less to have to work through. With being unable to hold your arms up for extended periods of time, shorter hair would be much easier for you to deal with anyway. I don't know what you'd want to keep the entire length with these issues. Of course, that's my feeling and not yours. I certainly wish you luck in finding the best way for you to deal with this problem.
**Hello, my hair is 4c (texlaxed), and my daughter has hair down her back (3b texture). We have both had this problem, and I was able to detangle our matted hair without cutting. I've used glycerin & any cream detangler (for kids) in the African American hair product section of Sally's. Just saturate your hair with both products, and use the handle of a rat tail comb or metal (afro) pick comb. Try to relax, and ask a girlfriend to come by and help. It will take some time, but you will succeed. Good Luck!