So frustrated, so close to chopping.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I don’t know what’s wrong with my hair. It’s never happy.
I can’t wear braids, ever, because no matter what th tassle gets rubbed and the friction splits my ends.
I can’t wear it loose to bed/ever because friction, but then I wear it up at bedtime and 90% of the time my bun falls apart, I wake up and all my hair is loose and my fork is lost somewhere in the bed.
oh and I have like 10 new bent ends that of course snap off. Even though I have a silk/satin pillow case.
The bent splits just don’t seem to stop.
I spend 20 mins cutting out all the splits and bend hair with s&d but then I wake up and there’s like 10 more.
I cut them out and then there’s MORE again the next day.
I’m using 60$ shears, I’m moisturizing, I’m gentle. I’m doing almost everything that I can possibly do.
Wearing my hair up for 95% of my life doesn’t seem like it’s worth it to me.
if my hair is so fragile that I can’t even wear it down in a braid without breakage...

its just so frsutrating. I haven’t trimmed in 6 months because of the challenge and I’ve held off for long enough, and it’s the only thing keeping me from chopping off like 4”.
I’m just at this point where I’m debating on maintaining at waist for a year.
Just to see if it’s the fate of my hair type or if I’m just doing something wrong or if I just can’t stretch trims. It just feels sometimes like it’s breaking off faster than it’s growing. And it’s frsutrating.

[pili]

Deeeeeep breath girl! OK, I'm kinda in the same boat as you, a bit shorter, but seeing tons of splits.

The thing is, we all come on here and see what others are doing and think we need to do them too. I say listen to your hair. Just because Mary Sue doesn't cut her her more than once every two years does not mean that is right for you! Your hair is beautiful, but it may be trying to tell you that it needs more microtrims than others. Don't beat yourself up that your hair has different needs. I learned long ago that my hair is different than just about everyone I know, including everyone here. Trying to force it to behave and react like others is like hitting my head against the wall and not expecting it to hurt. If your hair needs trims and grows a bit slower, but is healthier that way, then why fight it? Maintaining at waist may just be what you need.

[LadyArwen]

hugs...try to relax. Stress can make your hair fall out worse. This does sound frustrating. If you cut or don't cut its up to you, you will still be beautiful either way. Be patient with yourself, healthy hair will come. If you need a trim to get rid of the unhealthy parts its okay. Take that pause and move forward. If you can find a few things to be thankful about for your hair, I am sure you will feel better, thats what I try to do when I get frustrated...helps me put things into perspective, and helps me calm down

[ravenskey]

:grouphug: Rebeccalaurenxx your hair looks gorgeous and don't be discouraged by splits - you'll get to the length you want eventually even if you need to have more trims.

[Glitch]

:grouphug: Rebeccalaurenxx your hair looks gorgeous and don't be discouraged by splits - you'll get to the length you want eventually even if you need to have more trims.

I agree! As for me, I need frequent microtrims to maintain my ends and hair health, it is what it is. I'm sure you'll figure it out with some experimenting, OP :)

[C_Bookworm]

Hang in there. It’s a great time to invoke the two week rule if you’re that close to chopping.

Great advice re:letting your hair guide you. I know that my personal routine doesn’t follow the standard LHC advice...I WCC daily, I do full head henndigos monthly, I wear my hair down a lot...but my hair is happy as a clam. It’s what works for me personally. Going into scientist mode and experimenting on your hair might help ease some of the frustration (at least it’s a project to work on :p) and help you find your hair’s happy routine.

[lapushka]

Wooooaaah! I knew the 6 month challenge was difficult but this is... a whole nother level. :flower: If you feel that way there's 2 things you can do. Let go of the challenge and try and keep your hair happy. Or hang in there for just over a month more and then maintain, maybe? It's not long now and you've held on for so long already. :)

[nycelle]

You're not alone. Right before I got my last trim a few weeks ago, I went 5 months just growing and cutting splits as I noticed them. Didn't matter, I still had a ton of splits. I think it's just environmental.

I won't wear my hair up either as for me, it defeats the purpose of having long hair. So I'll just have to trim more often. I had a 1/4" cut off but I'm not sure that's enough. Either way, people like us can grow, it just takes us a little longer because we need to trim more often, and that's all right.

[Glitch]

You're not alone. Right before I got my last trim a few weeks ago, I went 5 months just growing and cutting splits as I noticed them. Didn't matter, I still had a ton of splits. I think it's just environmental.

I won't wear my hair up either as for me, it defeats the purpose of having long hair. So I'll just have to trim more often. I had a 1/4" cut off but I'm not sure that's enough. Either way, people like us can grow, it just takes us a little longer because we need to trim more often, and that's all right.

Agreed - my hair is down like 98% of the time and so far, that's how I've always liked it (though I am excited to start trying hair toys!) :o Tiny trims here and there won't sabotage long term goals :o

[divinedobbie]

I'm short on time right now so my answer won't be detailed and take it with many grains of salt.. I had a lot of problems with my hair quality (not these exact ones) and I kept trying to do whatever everyone else was doing and not trim and I got into a vicious cycle which honestly just made me unhappy and I was constantly wondering if I should cut and battling those thoughts. This went on for years. Yes it helped that years passed and so the condition of my hair improved overall but one day I had enough and cut 2.5-3 inches off and it was the best thing I ever did. That was 5 1/2 months ago and I haven't trimmed since or had any urges to. I just had to bite the bullet and do what my instincts kept telling me to do. If you constantly have to think about trimming, maybe do it.

[lapushka]

I'm short on time right now so my answer won't be detailed and take it with many grains of salt.. I had a lot of problems with my hair quality (not these exact ones) and I kept trying to do whatever everyone else was doing and not trim and I got into a vicious cycle which honestly just made me unhappy and I was constantly wondering if I should cut and battling those thoughts. This went on for years. Yes it helped that years passed and so the condition of my hair improved overall but one day I had enough and cut 2.5-3 inches off and it was the best thing I ever did. That was 5 1/2 months ago and I haven't trimmed since or had any urges to. I just had to bite the bullet and do what my instincts kept telling me to do. If you constantly have to think about trimming, maybe do it.

Maybe *do* consider it. This 6 month challenge is really hard on you, I know. OTOH it would be a pity so close to the end, but then I can't tell you what is best, either. It's up to you. :)

[spidermom]

I've had the same problem with my hair, and I did and do wear it up most of the time. It's just too hot and tickly hanging on my neck all the time, so it's up night and day. I tried everything I could stand to do that was supposed to help, but no - always 1000s of split ends. I've enjoyed wearing it short for the past year and a half, but I'm growing it now, and I'm back to the same dilemma - trim often and try to stay ahead of inevitable damage or just grow and stop being so damn critical. One day I lean one way, the next day the other.

Good luck to both of us!

[nycelle]

Maybe *do* consider it. This 6 month challenge is really hard on you, I know. OTOH it would be a pity so close to the end, but then I can't tell you what is best, either. It's up to you. :)

What does she really have to gain by holding on for another month though?

A challenge is great if you hair is perfect and you only have a split here and there you can get rid of with S&D, but when you reach the point of too many, and still holding out, all it's doing is making it worse.

[AutobotsAttack]

As someone with hair that’s just as fragile as yours, the bending ends don’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. Most often times they will straighten out with a bit of water or whatever moisturizer/leave in that you have.

It may also help to not sleep in your stick since it tends to not stay anyways. Mine never stays either.

What you can do is make two Bantu knots on either side of your head higher up, and secure them with a fluffy satin scrunchie on both sides. It’ll keep your ends tucked away, and if you toss and turn in your sleep they can still stay put. Do them a bit loosely so nothing is pulling.

And if you feel it’s your best interest to go ahead and trim, do what’s best for you. Doesn’t matter if you’re a day away from completing the challenge. If your hair is going to feel and do better, then do what’s best for it.

[PixieP]

I'm at TBL with tons of splits, hair can still grow with splits :) I'm pretty sick of this obsession with perfectly hair that is here to be honest, I feel like it's almost to the point of shaming those who don't have perfect split free hair with a thick perfect hemline. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL. And it will grow long and still be beautiful even with splits and bends.

Also I second divinedobbie. Sometimes a chop is just what you need to love your hair and enjoy the journey again. Do take a week or two to think about it, so you are sure. But I have done it once, and would do it again if I felt that was what I needed. It's not a race, having your hair be long is no point if you are unhappy with it. You need to find what is right for YOU, not everyone else here!

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

As someone with hair that’s just as fragile as yours, the bending ends don’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. Most often times they will straighten out with a bit of water or whatever moisturizer/leave in that you have.

It may also help to not sleep in your stick since it tends to not stay anyways. Mine never stays either.

What you can do is make two Bantu knots on either side of your head higher up, and secure them with a fluffy satin scrunchie on both sides. It’ll keep your ends tucked away, and if you toss and turn in your sleep they can still stay put. Do them a bit loosely so nothing is pulling.

And if you feel it’s your best interest to go ahead and trim, do what’s best for you. Doesn’t matter if you’re a day away from completing the challenge. If your hair is going to feel and do better, then do what’s best for it.


Oh I know the difference between a bent end that’s just bent from styling and something that’s going to break off. I always bend it with my finger to see if it actually bends, and they always instantly break off. Some are bent from the bun or from just something else, but 90% are broken off.
I use a 3-4 bring fork to hold it at night. It usually falls out unless I do a really high up bun, but then I wake up with a headache. So I try to wear it lower and that’s usually what does it. So I don’t know what to do. If it’s loose it will come undone. 100%

[TreesOfEternity]

That sounds frustrating indeed, I'm sorry.

My hair is much shorter than you and I have less experience, but just like you I can't really sleep with it on a bun (unless it's really oily and I use a scrunchie, but it's not that long so I can get away with that without getting a headache). I braid it, tie it with an invisibobble and put a satin scarf over it.

I apply oil everyday to keep it flexible and protected as friction affects it a lot. When doing a bun if I don't place the ends carefully underneath they will bend, and when I wear it loose without lightly oiling it ends won't be that happy as well. S&Ding regularly has really helped! as well as using scarfs overnight.

Hope it gets better soon :blossom:

[nycelle]

I'm at TBL with tons of splits, hair can still grow with splits :) I'm pretty sick of this obsession with perfectly hair that is here to be honest, I feel like it's almost to the point of shaming those who don't have perfect split free hair with a thick perfect hemline. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL. And it will grow long and still be beautiful even with splits and bends.

Also I second divinedobbie. Sometimes a chop is just what you need to love your hair and enjoy the journey again. Do take a week or two to think about it, so you are sure. But I have done it once, and would do it again if I felt that was what I needed. It's not a race, having your hair be long is no point if you are unhappy with it. You need to find what is right for YOU, not everyone else here!

I get the absolute opposite impression here. To me it feels like grow, grow, grow, regardless of what it looks like. Trimming, or going to a professional almost feels shameful about to post. That's why I didn't even mention it when I got mine trimmed (and just a 1/4") a few weeks ago.

[nycelle]

Oh I know the difference between a bent end that’s just bent from styling and something that’s going to break off. I always bend it with my finger to see if it actually bends, and they always instantly break off. Some are bent from the bun or from just something else, but 90% are broken off.
I use a 3-4 bring fork to hold it at night. It usually falls out unless I do a really high up bun, but then I wake up with a headache. So I try to wear it lower and that’s usually what does it. So I don’t know what to do. If it’s loose it will come undone. 100%

Do your splits travel up? Mine do that's why I'm all for trims. If yours don't, it doesn't hurt to wait a week and think it through.

[Rowdy]

I get the absolute opposite impression here. To me it feels like grow, grow, grow, regardless of what it looks like. Trimming, or going to a professional almost feels shameful about to post. That's why I didn't even mention it when I got mine trimmed (and just a 1/4") a few weeks ago.

We love that kind of talk over on the microtrimming and maintaining thread ;)

@Rebecca - I'm sorry you're frustrated with your hair :( It sounds like for whatever the reason 6 months isn't the right time lapse between trims for you right now. Maybe try every 4-ish month intervals instead? That's about my max before the damaged bits get ornery. (And personally I love maintaining. I did it for two years around 26-28" and now I'm 1.5 years into maintaining around 33-34".)

[Zesty]

Do what you have to do to enjoy your hair. Really. :flower: If it's really as bad as you think it is, do a trim. Even if you go bigger than the LHC norm and cut off a few inches (or do a proper chop). On the other hand, it might not be as bad as you think, and just working on letting go of stress about damage might be helpful. Like, I know that wearing my hair down is damaging to it, but it makes me happy, so it doesn't matter. I take care of my hair, but I know I got caught up in a cycle of perfectionism re splits that I think the LHC can often cause, and it made me really unhappy. Do I have splits? Yes. Is my hair still pretty? Also yes. Just do whatever you have to do to relax a little and enjoy your hair more.

Re practical tips for sleep styling, have you considered a sleep cap? It's been a lifesaver for me, a silk pillowcase just wasn't doing the trick anymore and I woke up with really unhappy hair. They're a little dorky and I know people resist for that reason, but DH and I made a deal that I'll wear cute silky things to bed and it offsets it a bit for both of us. :)

[Dendra]

Like others have said, I would wait 2 weeks and then if you still want to trim, trim. I don't think trimming's the worst thing in the world, and it can sometimes be the best :) I trimmed 2" a couple of months ago and am so pleased I did. My hemline was a wreck and I knew getting to waist wouldn't be as exciting as it should be if my hair was in that state.

If you decide to cut, perhaps start with a trim of 2" as you know it won't take long to grow back if you regret it.

We're all behind you!

[cjk]

In the bearding community there is a thing called "the 24-hour rule." Basically it says that when you're ready to cut off your beard wait 24 hours, or another version is 24-hours per month you've grown, before cutting.

The idea is to ritually give yourself time to consider the pros and the cons of the trim. And, if you still want to trim, do it.

Often, it's a momentary whim. But sometimes it's not. Either way, taking time to consider the decision is prudent.

If the ONLY reason you're not trimming is the challenge, ask yourself if that's good enough. My question is this...why is your hair so fragile that it breaks off so easily? Hair, healthy hair, should be more flexible than that. My instinct says that you're trying too hard and this is the result of babying it, so benign neglect might be good for it?

[divinedobbie]

In the bearding community there is a thing called "the 24-hour rule." Basically it says that when you're ready to cut off your beard wait 24 hours, or another version is 24-hours per month you've grown, before cutting.

The idea is to ritually give yourself time to consider the pros and the cons of the trim. And, if you still want to trim, do it.

Often, it's a momentary whim. But sometimes it's not. Either way, taking time to consider the decision is prudent.

If the ONLY reason you're not trimming is the challenge, ask yourself if that's good enough. My question is this...why is your hair so fragile that it breaks off so easily? Hair, healthy hair, should be more flexible than that. My instinct says that you're trying too hard and this is the result of babying it, so benign neglect might be good for it?

This is the "two week rule" on LHC mentioned upthread.

While I agree benign neglect may be good, especially just to let go of the stress, I don't think we can categorize that healthy hair should be flexible or that her hair may not be healthy because it breaks easily. There are a lot of hair types and some are naturally fragile and no matter what you do will still incur damage. Going back the benign neglect above, if that's the case then it's futile to worry about split ends constantly.

ETA, and I do believe that Rebecca understands this fully as she mentioned in her OP that she was considering maintaing at waist for a year to see if this is just her hair type.

[Wendyp]

Oh I have had days like that! But I kept trying things, even when I felt my hair was mostly on the right path. Now I finally feel that I am 100. It was the discovery of my hair texture that really did it and I changed my routine again. your hair is beautiful but if your not 100 percent happy keep trying things, but don’t give up.

[*Wednesday*]

You have come so far Rebecca. Don't let a few splits ruin the fun of growing. Do a microtrim. Move forward. Stay focused. ☺

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Do your splits travel up? Mine do that's why I'm all for trims. If yours don't, it doesn't hurt to wait a week and think it through.

Mine don’t. They’re mostly only the kind that bend and break off. I don’t get many actual split hairs that split or are branch like.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I won’t be individually replying to you all but know that I am reading the comments.
I appreciate all the advice. Only thing I’m not particularly fond of is the idea that my hair is “not” healthy.
Or that I am “trying too hard”. Because I’ve already been through that “trying to hard” phase.
Already been through it. I tried the whole neglect thing, that doesn’t work for my hair type.
I need a happy middle, which I found. My routine is pretty near perfect actually.
I’ve been here a very long time, I know what my hair looks like when it’s NOT healthy. Thank you.


I may just have to return to the micro trimming forum again.
But at this point I very much want to cut a good 2” off.
I haven’t really decided which route to go, just yet.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Re practical tips for sleep styling, have you considered a sleep cap? It's been a lifesaver for me, a silk pillowcase just wasn't doing the trick anymore and I woke up with really unhappy hair. They're a little dorky and I know people resist for that reason, but DH and I made a deal that I'll wear cute silky things to bed and it offsets it a bit for both of us. :)

A lot of people have suggested this in the past but I refrain because I tbh have no interest in wrapping myself or my hair in anything while I sleep. They’re not attractive to me but I also don’t like the idea of having something on my head while I sleep. I’m a tossed, a light sleeper, I’m already pretty uncomfortable so wearing a cap to bed would be pretty hard for me. So I don’t.

[lithostoic]

I think maybe you should just trim a couple inches and then microtrim :) That's what I'm going to start doing

[Dark40]

I agree with everyone. Your hair looks stunning. Don't worry. You'll reach your goal pretty soon. I get frustrated with the way my hair looks or feels too at the time. I agree with Glitch that you might have to go through microtrims for the health of your hair, and to cut away the splits, and my hair frizzies up all of the time. Especially, after a fresh wash.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Like I am looking down at the ends right now and I’ve already spotted about 3-4 bent about to break ends...
And I just did s&d a few days ago.

[Ligeia Noire]

Rebecca your hair is so pretty, please do think it through and if you still want to cut, there is nothing wrong about it, hey I wear my hair up every single day and I still get splits, I had long hair all my life and I am only at calf, I could be at floor ages ago but I had and have to trim more than I wanted to because of the damn splits and you know what? Lately I do not care as much, hair still grows even with splits, you need to keep them at bay by trimming a couple of times a year and yeah screw the ones that are still there, if you want your hair longer just let it grow and then if after you reached your goal, if the splits get on your nerves trim it to a length that pleases you best. I agree with someone that said that too much obsession about one thing is not good, whether length or immaculate hair. Just focus on what makes you happy and forget about it.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Rebecca your hair is so pretty, please do think it through and if you still want to cut, there is nothing wrong about it, hey I wear my hair up every single day and I still get splits, I had long hair all my life and I am only at calf, I could be at floor ages ago but I had and have to trim more than I wanted to because of the damn splits and you know what? Lately I do not care as much, hair still grows even with splits, you need to keep them at bay by trimming a couple of times a year and yeah screw the ones that are still there, if you want your hair longer just let it grow and then if after you reached your goal, if the splits get on your nerves trim it to a length that pleases you best. I agree with someone that said that too much obsession about one thing is not good, whether length or immaculate hair. Just focus on what makes you happy and forget about it.

The problem is it feels like it’s breaking off faster than its growing now. Which to me isn’t worth trying to salvage what I have now and is making it incredibly hard to keep, because it doesn’t look good to me.
Like I get that hair will continue to grow even if it’s breaking off. But shouldn’t I still be concerned by how it could potentially look if I did stop caring about the breaking off all together? Especially if I’m finding like 10 bent hairs every single day?
They range anywhere from a few mm to a good 1/2”.

I know it’s hard because I don’t get to see everyone else’s hair, I don’t experience the damage that other users here see in their own hair. But I feel like with my case.. it’s just different. Your hair has splits but I can’t imagine it’s the extent of mine. :/
I love long hair but I want it to physically look good, and be good when it’s down.

[leayellena]

maybe silicone conditioners/hair masks are really good. silicones help my hair a lot.
do you comb your hair? I stopped combing my hair when it´s unmoisturised or when wet and I barelly shed hairs.
when I learned how to do braids I always break hairs. a ton! I started with side braids where I have control over my hair.
as for buns, my go to bun when my hair starts to feel dry is a loose nautilus. don´t mind about your ends curling or clumping, just tuck them under the bun and there you go. a bun.
sleep on a satin pilowcase or invest in a satin cap. they really help. I own a satin pillowcase and I wouldn´t sleep on other fabrics.
as for conditioner, probably you should use more conditioner. don´t listen to curlies out there claiming conditioners weigh down their hair. it´s ok to be weighed down but healthy rather than bouncy dried up curls.
if the trouble persists, check with a doctor. maybe there´s stress or lack of vitamins or proteins that can produce hair breakage. hugs :)

[Joules]

As much as I'm for waiting and pushing your hair to grow, I think I'll vote for a trim.

If it's so bad that it doesn't even seem to grow, then there's no point in growing further right now. Rebeccalaurenxx, I would suggest trimming no more than one inch. Then you can just go with the flow, don't commit to serious challenges, whether no-trimming or microtrimming. You can do an examination of your ends every couple of months, and see if you need to trim. Or maybe after you cut off 1 inch you can salvage the rest with S&D, and continue growing?

Whatever you decide, don't stress out so much about gaining length. Hair is supposed to be fun. You're already at hip, that's quite long, it's not like you're gonna go back to the land of shorties after a 1-2 inch trim.

[lucid]

But at this point I very much want to cut a good 2” off.
I haven’t really decided which route to go, just yet.

Well, 2" isn't a lot! I'd say do it if you think it will help :)

As for broken or bent hairs, I find them all the time. If I look for them, I'll find them until I'll stop looking. I have them because of bleach damage. I just remove the broken parts, I don't bother with s&d much as I didn't see any decrease in splits and broken hairs with that method, and I just got more upset with my hair to be honest. I was starting to really dislike my hair, wanting to cut of all of the damage, which would mean arm pit length. The damage is throughout the hair, the highlighted parts, and my hair won't be free of them until it's grown out.

Anyway, my damage doesn't travel up, so trimming rarely works for me. I usually trim of 3" to 5" every 1 to 1.5 years! The hair always looks so good after a trim like that.

If you need to trim more often, then do it! And isn't it possible that years of coloring has made your hair more brittle than it has to be? I have at least read about people who's hair reacted that way from herbal coloring as well.

I maintained at waist-hip for around 2-3 years, chopping of all growth once a year. It worked for me, and now I'll maintain at bcl-tbl until the highlights are grown out. Some of us needs to go slow, others don't.

[lapushka]

In the bearding community there is a thing called "the 24-hour rule." Basically it says that when you're ready to cut off your beard wait 24 hours, or another version is 24-hours per month you've grown, before cutting.

The idea is to ritually give yourself time to consider the pros and the cons of the trim. And, if you still want to trim, do it.

Often, it's a momentary whim. But sometimes it's not. Either way, taking time to consider the decision is prudent.

If the ONLY reason you're not trimming is the challenge, ask yourself if that's good enough. My question is this...why is your hair so fragile that it breaks off so easily? Hair, healthy hair, should be more flexible than that. My instinct says that you're trying too hard and this is the result of babying it, so benign neglect might be good for it?

We have the 2-week rule on this forum, cjk:
https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=139091

[zanelle]

I say don't chop.

[Ligeia Noire]

Well of course we want our hair to look good when down. If you think yours looks so bad that you can't wear it down and it is making you miserable, then, by all means trim. Sometimes we need to start over. And for some people with very fussy fragile hair not using a good silicone conditioner is not an option. Remember that a good diet and lots of water are also important. Good luck on whatever you decide.

[PixieP]

The problem is it feels like it’s breaking off faster than its growing now. Which to me isn’t worth trying to salvage what I have now and is making it incredibly hard to keep, because it doesn’t look good to me.
Like I get that hair will continue to grow even if it’s breaking off. But shouldn’t I still be concerned by how it could potentially look if I did stop caring about the breaking off all together? Especially if I’m finding like 10 bent hairs every single day?
They range anywhere from a few mm to a good 1/2”.

I know it’s hard because I don’t get to see everyone else’s hair, I don’t experience the damage that other users here see in their own hair. But I feel like with my case.. it’s just different. Your hair has splits but I can’t imagine it’s the extent of mine. :/
I love long hair but I want it to physically look good, and be good when it’s down.

Oh hon trust me, there are plenty of us with lots and lots and lots of splits. Mine is so bad I can't do S&D; I would need to spend 10 hours or more to get them all. I try about once a year and after spendinf half an hour on one tiny lock I give up. I tried to take some pictures of my hair today, it wasn't easy to get them to show up on my phone camera, but I hope seeing them will help. These pictures are quite big because I wanted it to be possible to see all the details so I haven't resized them.

https://i.imgur.com/7VNi2AW.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/UPPEYxP.jpg

These are different locks throughout my hair; it's consistent through the whole thing. For me it's part old damage, part that with how my physical and mental health is I cannot care "perfectly" for my hair, and part that honestly I don't care; I wear it loose, sometimes I curl it, I braid it, I brush it with my tangle teezer daily without carefully detangling every single fairy knot first. I have breakage, I have white dots, I have splits. But I still think my hair looks pretty when I wear it down. It doesn't look anyone else's hair, but it looks like mine. And nobody but me notices the damage. We are our own worst critics! I have worked hard at trying to like my hair just as it is, not how anyone else thinks it should be.

https://i.imgur.com/f4IxIvh.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oDLvw9F.jpg

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Oh hon trust me, there are plenty of us with lots and lots and lots of splits. Mine is so bad I can't do S&D; I would need to spend 10 hours or more to get them all. I try about once a year and after spendinf half an hour on one tiny lock I give up. I tried to take some pictures of my hair today, it wasn't easy to get them to show up on my phone camera, but I hope seeing them will help. These pictures are quite big because I wanted it to be possible to see all the details so I haven't resized them.

https://i.imgur.com/7VNi2AW.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/UPPEYxP.jpg

These are different locks throughout my hair; it's consistent through the whole thing. For me it's part old damage, part that with how my physical and mental health is I cannot care "perfectly" for my hair, and part that honestly I don't care; I wear it loose, sometimes I curl it, I braid it, I brush it with my tangle teezer daily without carefully detangling every single fairy knot first. I have breakage, I have white dots, I have splits. But I still think my hair looks pretty when I wear it down. It doesn't look anyone else's hair, but it looks like mine. And nobody but me notices the damage. We are our own worst critics! I have worked hard at trying to like my hair just as it is, not how anyone else thinks it should be.

https://i.imgur.com/f4IxIvh.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oDLvw9F.jpg

Your hair actually really looks similar to mine.
Which makes me feel a bit better.
You do all those “damaging” things and I don’t and somehow my hair is just as split.
Sigh. It has to be hair type related.. I figure once I grow out all the henna and indigo in my hair I’ll know for sure.

[MusicalSpoons]

I can't remember whether you specified whether you do wear your hair down most of the time; if you do then it probably is contributing (I also have splits, not nearly as many, but if I wore mine down I'm certain I'd be in a similar position to you and PixieP); however as you say, it does seem to be hairtype related anyway.

If you've been seriously considering trimming for 2 weeks or more, you may be best to just go for it. Or, as a kind of compromise, you could perhaps trim off half the amount you feel you need to, then give it another two weeks and see then if you need to trim the rest (you mentioned 4" in your first post so maybe 2" now, then see if you need to trim the further 2" after another 2wks).

Either way, unless it suits you to put your hair up and forget about it, if your instinct is to trim then maybe it is the best thing for you. It's your hair so you have to do what's right for it :) and growing hair is not supposed to make you unhappy! :flower:

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I can't remember whether you specified whether you do wear your hair down most of the time; if you do then it probably is contributing (I also have splits, not nearly as many, but if I wore mine down I'm certain I'd be in a similar position to you and PixieP); however as you say, it does seem to be hairtype related anyway.

If you've been seriously considering trimming for 2 weeks or more, you may be best to just go for it. Or, as a kind of compromise, you could perhaps trim off half the amount you feel you need to, then give it another two weeks and see then if you need to trim the rest (you mentioned 4" in your first post so maybe 2" now, then see if you need to trim the further 2" after another 2wks).

Either way, unless it suits you to put your hair up and forget about it, if your instinct is to trim then maybe it is the best thing for you. It's your hair so you have to do what's right for it :) and growing hair is not supposed to make you unhappy! :flower:

I keep my hair up about 90% of the time but the last week I’ve had it down or in a braid because I keep having headaches or forget to bring hair toys with me.

[prairie lark]

^^^ everything Pixie said and Musical Spoons said :grouphug: Your hair is really pretty and you need to enjoy it.


It's your hair so you have to do what's right for it and growing hair is not supposed to make you unhappy!

[PixieP]

Your hair actually really looks similar to mine.
Which makes me feel a bit better.
You do all those “damaging” things and I don’t and somehow my hair is just as split.
Sigh. It has to be hair type related.. I figure once I grow out all the henna and indigo in my hair I’ll know for sure.

I do think wavies are more prone to this behaviour indeed. I like MusicalSpoons idea of trimming of half first and seeing how it feels then. Whatever you end up doing, it's good that you're sharing and getting it out! We're here for you :grouphug:

[KlutzyChy1]

Echoing what PixieP said, I too have LOTS & lots of splits. I tried for ages to do S&D, but I could spend hours snipping away & I'd barely scratch the surface. It seems like every other hair I have is split or has breakage. I tried to take some pictures as well, but it was a bit hard to get the white dots & splits to show up on camera.

https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/921/uBGXfJ.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pluBGXfJj) https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/922/AeMfTk.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pmAeMfTkj)


A lot of the breakage I have is also from old heat styling & dye damage. Even with all of the damage I have though, I've managed to grow it from about apl to hip length within a year & a half, with only one one inch trim last summer. I think you have to find a healthy medium between healthy hair & what makes you happy. My hair will never be "perfect". I prefer to have it black, as opposed to my natural brunette color, so there will always be some dye damage. I prefer to wear it down when I go out, so there will always be some mechanical damage. I still do my best to take good care of it, and it has come so far in length & condition, in my opinion, since I started this journey & I'm finally starting to love my hair again. You should be able to enjoy your hair as well. We all think your hair is absolutely beautiful, but I know what you think of it matters most. You can still have lovely hair with splits and breakage. Your hair& growing it should make you happy, not cause you so much stress. You shouldn't have to tip toe around everything you do to try to get it to be in pristine condition. Trust me, I started my journey that way, & it's gone by so much faster since I stopped being so hard on myself.
https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/640x480q90/924/RJEgxC.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/poRJEgxCj)

[Dark40]

Your hair actually really looks similar to mine.
Which makes me feel a bit better.
You do all those “damaging” things and I don’t and somehow my hair is just as split.
Sigh. It has to be hair type related.. I figure once I grow out all the henna and indigo in my hair I’ll know for sure.
My hair also looks like yours too! My ends always looks like that too. I just did a S&Ding this morning. I trimmed off 1cm. I haven't had a trim in 6 months myself. I only need to do S&D's twice a year. Because, i very rarely get splits. I think mine looks like yours because of all the things I do it. Like, chemically relaxing it, and coloring it. But I do spread out my chemical treatments so that I don't have an issues with damage.

[Dark40]

Echoing what PixieP said, I too have LOTS & lots of splits. I tried for ages to do S&D, but I could spend hours snipping away & I'd barely scratch the surface. It seems like every other hair I have is split or has breakage. I tried to take some pictures as well, but it was a bit hard to get the white dots & splits to show up on camera.

https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/921/uBGXfJ.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pluBGXfJj) https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/922/AeMfTk.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pmAeMfTkj)


A lot of the breakage I have is also from old heat styling & dye damage. Even with all of the damage I have though, I've managed to grow it from about apl to hip length within a year & a half, with only one one inch trim last summer. I think you have to find a healthy medium between healthy hair & what makes you happy. My hair will never be "perfect". I prefer to have it black, as opposed to my natural brunette color, so there will always be some dye damage. I prefer to wear it down when I go out, so there will always be some mechanical damage. I still do my best to take good care of it, and it has come so far in length & condition, in my opinion, since I started this journey & I'm finally starting to love my hair again. You should be able to enjoy your hair as well. We all think your hair is absolutely beautiful, but I know what you think of it matters most. You can still have lovely hair with splits and breakage. Your hair& growing it should make you happy, not cause you so much stress. You shouldn't have to tip toe around everything you do to try to get it to be in pristine condition. Trust me, I started my journey that way, & it's gone by so much faster since I stopped being so hard on myself.
https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/640x480q90/924/RJEgxC.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/poRJEgxCj)

Your hair is pretty! My hair is like that too.

[Dark40]

Oh hon trust me, there are plenty of us with lots and lots and lots of splits. Mine is so bad I can't do S&D; I would need to spend 10 hours or more to get them all. I try about once a year and after spendinf half an hour on one tiny lock I give up. I tried to take some pictures of my hair today, it wasn't easy to get them to show up on my phone camera, but I hope seeing them will help. These pictures are quite big because I wanted it to be possible to see all the details so I haven't resized them.

https://i.imgur.com/7VNi2AW.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/UPPEYxP.jpg

These are different locks throughout my hair; it's consistent through the whole thing. For me it's part old damage, part that with how my physical and mental health is I cannot care "perfectly" for my hair, and part that honestly I don't care; I wear it loose, sometimes I curl it, I braid it, I brush it with my tangle teezer daily without carefully detangling every single fairy knot first. I have breakage, I have white dots, I have splits. But I still think my hair looks pretty when I wear it down. It doesn't look anyone else's hair, but it looks like mine. And nobody but me notices the damage. We are our own worst critics! I have worked hard at trying to like my hair just as it is, not how anyone else thinks it should be.

https://i.imgur.com/f4IxIvh.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oDLvw9F.jpg

My hair looks like yours too! I do my S&D twice a year. Because, I usually don't have that many issues with splits. But I have also noticed lately that my hair is looking like that too.

[cathair]

Don't think anyone has mentioned this yet. I'm relying on my memory, which has already failed me once today so take with a grain of salt.

I seem to recall bent ends can be a symptom of being over moisturised. Have you used anything with protein in it in the recent past? If not maybe it might be worth a try.

I always have some splits and white dots. I only bother cutting them off if they are the type that catch on other hairs and make my hair hard to comb. I can get a feel for which one are causing problems.

I think all my white dots start off as bends, but I don't necessarily catch them at that point. If you're seeing them are the stage they are bending before they break off, I think you're doing a great job of being really observant.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Echoing what PixieP said, I too have LOTS & lots of splits. I tried for ages to do S&D, but I could spend hours snipping away & I'd barely scratch the surface. It seems like every other hair I have is split or has breakage. I tried to take some pictures as well, but it was a bit hard to get the white dots & splits to show up on camera.

https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/921/uBGXfJ.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pluBGXfJj) https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/1024x768q90/922/AeMfTk.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/pmAeMfTkj)


A lot of the breakage I have is also from old heat styling & dye damage. Even with all of the damage I have though, I've managed to grow it from about apl to hip length within a year & a half, with only one one inch trim last summer. I think you have to find a healthy medium between healthy hair & what makes you happy. My hair will never be "perfect". I prefer to have it black, as opposed to my natural brunette color, so there will always be some dye damage. I prefer to wear it down when I go out, so there will always be some mechanical damage. I still do my best to take good care of it, and it has come so far in length & condition, in my opinion, since I started this journey & I'm finally starting to love my hair again. You should be able to enjoy your hair as well. We all think your hair is absolutely beautiful, but I know what you think of it matters most. You can still have lovely hair with splits and breakage. Your hair& growing it should make you happy, not cause you so much stress. You shouldn't have to tip toe around everything you do to try to get it to be in pristine condition. Trust me, I started my journey that way, & it's gone by so much faster since I stopped being so hard on myself.
https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/640x480q90/924/RJEgxC.jpg (http://imageshack.com/f/poRJEgxCj)

Wow, your hair is much much thicker and longer than mine.
Your growth pattern is way way faster too.
A year got me from APL to BSL... so going from APL to hip...
my hair doesn’t look visibly hip.. I think that’s my issue. The last 4 inches are incredibly thin.
I’ll try to post a photo soon.. my hair just looks terrible in comparison to a lot of you who face the same breakage issues.

You all have the same kind of breakage I do, but your hair looks 10x thicker and longer
Which is I think what gets to me the most
I might be hip but those are the racers and my ends just don’t look nice
To me at least

I appreciate all the compliments but I just don’t see it in my own hair

[KlutzyChy1]

Wow, your hair is much much thicker and longer than mine.
Your growth pattern is way way faster too.
A year got me from APL to BSL... so going from APL to hip...
my hair doesn’t look visibly hip.. I think that’s my issue. The last 4 inches are incredibly thin.
I’ll try to post a photo soon.. my hair just looks terrible in comparison to a lot of you who face the same breakage issues.

You all have the same kind of breakage I do, but your hair looks 10x thicker and longer
Which is I think what gets to me the most
I might be hip but those are the racers and my ends just don’t look nice
To me at least

I appreciate all the compliments but I just don’t see it in my own hair

How tall are you though? I believe my hair grows about the average .5" inch per month, but I'm only 5"1', so I'll reach certain milestones faster than someone who's got more height on me, hehe. Don't forget that! & My hair almost touches my butt in the back, but when it's all pulled forward in the front, none of it actually reaches hip either, so I can understand your frustration there! My hemline bothers me too. I was going to get a trim & even it up next month, but I don't think I can give up the length just yet.
But, trust me, I have had plenty of days where I was so frustrated with my hair & wanting to give up on this journey completely. I've been a lot busier lately & had more going on in my life, so my hair has been an after thought, and it has been so much less stressful that way& then one day, you realize, holy heck, look how much its grown.
It will take time. I struggle a lot with self esteem & self image issues & no matter how many people tell me that my hair is lovely or that I'm beautiful, it's still hard to see it within yourself. Like with the thickness of my hair, sometimes I still see it as the same it was a year and a half ago, after the worst of my hair loss.

[Chantalia]

I think you should trim it. I got about an inch off today and I couldn't be happier. I made it 9 months without cutting and even though it was starting to look a little ratty, I kept telling myself I might make it to waist length by October if I just don't cut it!! But what's the point if I don't think it's pretty.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

How tall are you though? I believe my hair grows about the average .5" inch per month, but I'm only 5"1', so I'll reach certain milestones faster than someone who's got more height on me, hehe. Don't forget that! & My hair almost touches my butt in the back, but when it's all pulled forward in the front, none of it actually reaches hip either, so I can understand your frustration there! My hemline bothers me too. I was going to get a trim & even it up next month, but I don't think I can give up the length just yet.
But, trust me, I have had plenty of days where I was so frustrated with my hair & wanting to give up on this journey completely. I've been a lot busier lately & had more going on in my life, so my hair has been an after thought, and it has been so much less stressful that way& then one day, you realize, holy heck, look how much its grown.
It will take time. I struggle a lot with self esteem & self image issues & no matter how many people tell me that my hair is lovely or that I'm beautiful, it's still hard to see it within yourself. Like with the thickness of my hair, sometimes I still see it as the same it was a year and a half ago, after the worst of my hair loss.

I’m about 5 5”. Which isn’t too much taller.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

This is just to show how very little my hair has grown in the last 7 months or so.
October 2017 -
https://s31.postimg.cc/binn2128r/october_2017.jpg
And then this april -
https://s31.postimg.cc/hjlbz99h7/april_24th_2018.png

Its really hardly anything, and whatever does grow gives me the most jagged hemline.
I know the april photo has more of a curve pattern so I know I lost some length so its probably more than I think but, I still just really dont think my hair looks good at all.

[cjk]

Hardly anything?

It looks to be around 3" longer. And that means you're growing, successfully, around 1/2" per month.

You're right that the ends are a little more jagged and that individual locks seem to have grown more than others. But that's just hair...mine does that too.

I'm rather impressed with your rate of growth.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I just wish I knew why I am so unhappy with my current hair then...

[cjk]

Saw what you posted about rice water. It seems to have modified your texture in a way you like. I'm delighted that it worked so well.

I hope it continues to work well for you. Finding that holy grail is trickier for some than others.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Saw what you posted about rice water. It seems to have modified your texture in a way you like. I'm delighted that it worked so well.

I hope it continues to work well for you. Finding that holy grail is trickier for some than others.

Ive never used rice water - I think you may have mixed me up with someone else.

[Glitch]

Hardly anything?

It looks to be around 3" longer. And that means you're growing, successfully, around 1/2" per month.

You're right that the ends are a little more jagged and that individual locks seem to have grown more than others. But that's just hair...mine does that too.

I'm rather impressed with your rate of growth.

I'm going to have to agree, I did a double take when comparing the photos! :laugh: You have a good growth rate, OP :)
From those photos, there isn't any visible damage (even if there is some up close in person, from a normal distance everything seems okay), and it's growing just fine.

Have you tried "forgetting" about the hair for a good while? I used to have thousands of white dots, split ends, etc. when and I felt pretty bad the more I focused on them. I even needed a super long break from this site at the beginning so I wouldn't keep thinking about my hair lol. Anyway, just a suggestion.
I hope it at least helps to know that multiple people think your hair is doing great/looking great and all :flower:

[Joules]

Rebeccalaurenxx, to me it looks like normal taper that comes with this amount of growth. I understand that you're upset with your hair and probably it makes things seem worse than they actually are, but to me it looks very much ok :) if you can't stand it at all, I would suggest just maintaining at this length for a few months. And patience. It would be a great opportunity to practice neglect.

[cjk]

Ive never used rice water - I think you may have mixed me up with someone else.

You're right. I did. Sorry.

[Dark40]

Rebecca, I'm not happy with my current hair either. I've just trimmed 1cm off yesterday, and I am much happier now. I've just washed and conditioned my hair today, and I'll see how it turned out tonight.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Im just like, feeling like I could cut it and I still wouldnt be happy.

[Dark40]

To be honest I think your hair looks just fine. That's the way your ends look as it is growing out. They start to look tapered. But I really think your ends are fine. Yours look better than mine.

[Dendra]

Im just like, feeling like I could cut it and I still wouldnt be happy.

That is also possible. I wouldn't want to encourage you to trim and then for you to still feel unhappy, plus have shorter hair that you didn't really want. It's a tough one.

Is it possible that you're projecting onto your hair and this dissatisfaction is actually coming from something else in your life? Don't mean to play the psychologist, just thought I'd ask :flower:

[lapushka]

This is just to show how very little my hair has grown in the last 7 months or so.
October 2017 -
https://s31.postimg.cc/binn2128r/october_2017.jpg
And then this april -
https://s31.postimg.cc/hjlbz99h7/april_24th_2018.png

Its really hardly anything, and whatever does grow gives me the most jagged hemline.
I know the april photo has more of a curve pattern so I know I lost some length so its probably more than I think but, I still just really dont think my hair looks good at all.

I see about 3 inches worth of growth, roughly going by body markers, so that should be about normal. I think maybe you're putting a little too much pressure on yourself. :flower: You're doing great!

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

That is also possible. I wouldn't want to encourage you to trim and then for you to still feel unhappy, plus have shorter hair that you didn't really want. It's a tough one.

Is it possible that you're projecting onto your hair and this dissatisfaction is actually coming from something else in your life? Don't mean to play the psychologist, just thought I'd ask :flower:

I’m going through a pretty bad bout of depression right now.
I think I’ve always generally had a dissatisfaction with my hair though, with every marker I’ve hit.

[Dendra]

I’m going through a pretty bad bout of depression right now.
I think I’ve always generally had a dissatisfaction with my hair though, with every marker I’ve hit.

I know how you feel. I'm sorry to hear about the depression, that's so difficult. I hope you have good support in your life. Be as kind to yourself as you can :blossom:

[Joules]

I’m going through a pretty bad bout of depression right now.
I think I’ve always generally had a dissatisfaction with my hair though, with every marker I’ve hit.

Last time I chopped of a ton of my hair I was going through a bout of depression, too. It felt nice and new for the first couple of days, but in the long run it didn't help at all, I always wanted my hair to be long, so regret hit me pretty hard. So yeah, cutting hair definitely won't help here. Just from the photos your hair is looking great, try to be not so hard on yourself :) I'm sending you all the positive vibes I have :blossom:

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Last time I chopped of a ton of my hair I was going through a bout of depression, too. It felt nice and new for the first couple of days, but in the long run it didn't help at all, I always wanted my hair to be long, so regret hit me pretty hard. So yeah, cutting hair definitely won't help here. Just from the photos your hair is looking great, try to be not so hard on yourself :) I'm sending you all the positive vibes I have :blossom:
I’ve just been really unhappy with the hem for the longest time.
I might just go back to micro trimming, when I was micro trimming my hem looked just a little better.

[MusicalSpoons]

I’ve just been really unhappy with the hem for the longest time.
I might just go back to micro trimming, when I was micro trimming my hem looked just a little better.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time :flower: that puts your hair frustration into a different context, and Dendra and Joules make a good point about whether chopping would really help. Microtrimming could be an excellent compromise, as you've already experienced it working well for you, and it might help you feel like you're doing something to help your hair rather than feeling stuck in frustration (been there with life, so I know it's a horrible feeling. I can only imagine depression on top makes it even worse). And I honestly think the fact that you haven't cut yet, despite how strongly you feel about your hair, is quite telling - perhaps subconsciously you don't feel it's the best thing to do :)

Btw, I am in the 'your hair looks great' camp ;) and that definitely appears to be good growth between those two pics, especially considering waves eat up length! Though of course ultimately your hair only needs to make you happy, you have a lot of reassurance here that to other people's eyes your hair is simply beautiful :blossom:

[Joules]

I’ve just been really unhappy with the hem for the longest time.
I might just go back to micro trimming, when I was micro trimming my hem looked just a little better.

I like this idea! You won't lose length and it'll make your hem look nicer :) like I said, hair is supposed to be fun, so I hope a new routine would make you feel better :blossom:

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I decided today to trim about an inch. My hem looks nicer, neater.
Somewhat healthier to me at least. Thanks guys.

[Dark40]

Rebecca, I am glad to hear that. You see, that's all it needed was a small trim. I'm so happy for you! :cheese:

[pili]

I'm happy you did what you felt was best for your hair!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Sometimes it only takes a little trim to feel much better about your hair. I'm glad you're happier with it now :D

[Milady_DeWinter]

I think you did well! :flower: I'll chop at least 1 inch by the end of June, my ends looks nothing good and I don't like my hemline. All that dye damage... *shudders* And I don't feel bad nor sorry for it, I just know that it is the best for me and my hair. All the lenght will be back by autumn, and looking much better. It's not a competition, and only you are the one to decide on your hair :)

[PixieP]

:grouphug:

[lapushka]

An inch isn't the end of the world. :flower:

Are you planning on microtrimming, maintaining, or will you be in the second half no trimming challenge? :)

[Joules]

I decided today to trim about an inch. My hem looks nicer, neater.
Somewhat healthier to me at least. Thanks guys.

I'm so glad you feel happier about your hair!

[sugar&nutmeg]

Rebecca, I read the whole thread. Glad you've done a small trim and are feeling a bit better about your hair. I do think your hair looks lovely, with natural taper and a good rate of growth. The ends don't look 'too thin' at all to me, in the length-comparison photos.

Maybe give some real thought to the effect depression (been there, done that) is likely having on your perceptions. Don't fall for the (false) notion that a big, yet ultimately superficial change (like a chop) can make things better. Nothing from the outside can do that (except meds and maybe therapy).

Also worth considering, especially if one has a tendency to get negatively focused (also BTDT), is whether it might be better to give some hair challenges a miss. They're supposed to be fun and encouraging, but they aren't all good for everyone. 'Choose wisely.'

I'm glad you did what was right for you, in a well-thought-out and not-extreme way. Good for you! Best of luck!

[Dendra]

sugar&nutmeg said it very well, but I just wanted to say that I'm really pleased that you took some measured action (not too much length gone) and are happy with it :)

[nycelle]

I decided today to trim about an inch. My hem looks nicer, neater.
Somewhat healthier to me at least. Thanks guys.

Glad to read it helped. Sometimes even a small change is enough.

[M.McDonough]

We're both in the same boat. I know how you feel I'm frustrated with how my hair looks now. I think I'm gonma trim and whatever happens, happens

[M.McDonough]

I decided today to trim about an inch. My hem looks nicer, neater.
Somewhat healthier to me at least. Thanks guys.

Well show us! :)

[MusicalSpoons]

I decided today to trim about an inch. My hem looks nicer, neater.
Somewhat healthier to me at least. Thanks guys.

Sounds like that was a good decision! I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about it now, well done :blossom:

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Well show us! :)

No thank you. I don’t like taking photos of my hair right now.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

An inch isn't the end of the world. :flower:

Are you planning on microtrimming, maintaining, or will you be in the second half no trimming challenge? :)

I’m going to be microtrimming again.
I still need to take off about 3-4” to thicken my hemline and I just don’t want to keep it anymore.
I’d rather micro trim it out over the next 6 months rather than hold onto length that doesn’t look nice and doesn’t make me happy.

[yahirwaO.o]

I share your frustration somehow at some point in my life Rebecca.

If I want slow but quality thicker hem I just have suck it up and micro trim my hair as often as I can.

Seriously your hair looks just fine and im quite glad the trim worked out for you.

However it would be a nice idea to pay attention to your emotional state. In the past I blamed my hair and had this weird hate love relation with it because I wasn´t solving my other issues so it was easier to trash me wth my lenght and such!

This is a nice supportive group and whatever you wanna share im sure there is always someone who would read or respond, dont forget that! ;)

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I share your frustration somehow at some point in my life Rebecca.

If I want slow but quality thicker hem I just have suck it up and micro trim my hair as often as I can.

Seriously your hair looks just fine and im quite glad the trim worked out for you.

However it would be a nice idea to pay attention to your emotional state. In the past I blamed my hair and had this weird hate love relation with it because I wasn´t solving my other issues so it was easier to trash me wth my lenght and such!

This is a nice supportive group and whatever you wanna share im sure there is always someone who would read or respond, dont forget that! ;)

I just don’t get much from posting to forums about my issues tbh.
I talk about my problems on lots of forums and nobody really responds.
But idk, I personally also don’t care much for sharing because in the end I don’t really think anything will come of it.
I need help in real life, from a professional. Talking about it online just isn’t enough.
And I know that. Clearly. I’ve just got a lot going on right now and somethings fall to the way side.