Support please? Had to cut off several inches

[DizzyGinger]

I need some support from all you wonderful people! You’ve helped me for over 3-4 years as I grew my hair out from a short pixie with a goal of either waist or hip length, formidable! But I got through all the worst bits with this community and was only an inch or two from mid-back length. However I just HAD to cut it. In the past I caused damage to my hair with bleach and chemical dye. For a couple years now I’ve used henna (which I love) but recently I had to face the facts: the last 2-3 inches were frayed and dry beyond repair.


Even though my hair isn’t that short (arm pit length) it still feels like a huge step backwards. At this rate it feels like I won’t reach my goal till my mid-30s! (I’m 30 now.) Which isn’t necessarily true haha, but I’m bummed and not feeling super optimistic. Any advice or encouragement? Waist-length has gotta be years away, let alone hip, right? :/

[MidnightMoon]

At least now you've got fresh, healthy hair to grow, which in the long run will make things easier. It will look and feel better, and healthy hair is easier to care for.
I don't think from APL to waist or hip should take 5 years. I think 2-3 years should be enough.
I'd advice against too dramatic cuts in the future, but if you say it had to be done, you know better than me :p
In the meantime, try to enjoy the perks of your current length. I'd try styles that look weird on longer hair, wear it loose sometimes, and just remember what short hair feels like, since in a few years you won't have it.

[fhairyqueen]

I’m 29 and my hair is only just reaching APL and I was worrying about the age id be when I finally have long hair again
After seeing here how many ladies have super long hair who are much older than us it put my mind at ease
I was worried I was getting too old to grow long hair and that it might not gro but it will :)

[Lady Stardust]

MidnightMoon said it so well, I’m not sure what I can add. Just wanted to show some support as the boards are quiet at this time of day!

Your hair looks beautiful at all lengths, going by your signature pics, so I’m sure your hair looks amazing.

As for age...it doesn’t matter.

Stay positive, you’ve made progress! You don’t have to worry about those damaged ends anymore. Any reduction in negative feeling towards your hair has got to be a good thing.

[copperlites]

Your hair looks beautiful and healthy and that’s the important thing to some people. There seems to be two camps ... the keep the ends trimmed and neat and as healthy as possible ... and the get to goal length as fast as possible and then micro trim to regain health. Personally I’m a fan of the first one. Quality over quantity. I just turned 50 and my hair isn’t as thick as when I was younger so I like to keep the ends trimmed. I’ve been trying to get to waist length for three years yet seem stuck in a mid back abyss. At Christmas I had tried to go for 5 months with no trims and ended up having 4 inches cut off after seeing this picture
https://s9.postimg.cc/7mohch6bj/D7_F4_FECD-_B33_B-4_FF0-9814-041_A3356_FFD0.jpg (https://postimg.cc/image/tluvzon5n/)

Much as it meant some buns did not work, it brought my hair back to better condition. I’ve now realized that personally, I need to trim at least every three months. I just had a trim today ... 3 months later and here’s my after pics.
https://s9.postimg.cc/yj8gkiu73/E42_D219_A-67_CA-4341-_ABE3-_E56_B2_F48_E0_CF.jpg (https://postimg.cc/image/pbg83tn4r/)
Like you I switched to henna, but about 18 months ago now, and am still suffering dyed damage to my ends. Be happy to keep trimming if it needs it and have healthier looking hair rather than length that looks damaged.
It’s a slow process but hang in there.

[CopperButterfly]

Hair will grow. And I'll bet it looks great. You may even find you gain length even more quickly now without the damaged ends breaking off.

I'm currently apl as well, just trying to enjoy each mini milestone as it comes. I'm hoping I'll hit waist by end of next year, and I don't think that's really unrealistic.

[nycelle]

Your hair looks beautiful and healthy and that’s the important thing to some people. There seems to be two camps ... the keep the ends trimmed and neat and as healthy as possible ... and the get to goal length as fast as possible and then micro trim to regain health. Personally I’m a fan of the first one. Quality over quantity. I just turned 50 and my hair isn’t as thick as when I was younger so I like to keep the ends trimmed. I’ve been trying to get to waist length for three years yet seem stuck in a mid back abyss. At Christmas I had tried to go for 5 months with no trims and ended up having 4 inches cut off after seeing this picture
https://s9.postimg.cc/7mohch6bj/D7_F4_FECD-_B33_B-4_FF0-9814-041_A3356_FFD0.jpg (https://postimg.cc/image/tluvzon5n/)

Much as it meant some buns did not work, it brought my hair back to better condition. I’ve now realized that personally, I need to trim at least every three months. I just had a trim today ... 3 months later and here’s my after pics.
https://s9.postimg.cc/yj8gkiu73/E42_D219_A-67_CA-4341-_ABE3-_E56_B2_F48_E0_CF.jpg (https://postimg.cc/image/pbg83tn4r/)
Like you I switched to henna, but about 18 months ago now, and am still suffering dyed damage to my ends. Be happy to keep trimming if it needs it and have healthier looking hair rather than length that looks damaged.
It’s a slow process but hang in there.

Your hair looks great. I would never have guessed that you cut 4" off four months ago. It actually looks longer now.

I'm also in the first camp. I want my hemline to be thick the entire time I'm growing back to waist (my goal) so have no problem doing trims.

DizzyGinger- How much did you cut? 2-3"? Just add two months of additional growing time on for each inch.
But why are you concerned about the age you're going to be? A woman of any age can wear long hair, it's all in the attitude, style and how you present yourself.

[Lumienkeli]

DizzyGinger, your have lovely hair, regardless the length of it. Hair does grow after 30 too! :) No worries about this. If you keep your body and mind healthy it is reflect on your hair too!

If the damaged ends makes you frustrated just trim a bit. 2 inches are just 4 month of growth in avarage, not years of work.

But if you are more attached to your length keep it and try to search and destroy the worst of the damaged parts. I did s&d for hours my husband's hair because he is so attached to it and refused to trim. He still have damaged parts but the overall look and health of his hair is much more better.

[lithostoic]

I went from CBL to waist in 2 years with lots of trims. APL is my favorite "short" length! Enjoy the peacock twists and messy buns while you can!

[lapushka]

I had classic length when I was 10/11 years old, and I desperately wanted to get back to that length. I was 43 when I reached it, September 2015. Maintained it for a year, until November 2016 when I cut it back to hip. I have since been growing it out and am now again within an inch of classic.

It will grow back, and age I think doesn't matter.

I was mid thirties when I discovered my natural texture! You are never too old! It happens when it happens.

And if the ends were so frayed that it was just baggage, then you did the right thing!

[browneyedsusan]

You will get there and age doesn't matter. :) Don't let that stupid number get in your head! It's a self-created thing, and you can totally un-create it. :) We all do our best with what we have to work with at the time. Concentrate on your strengths: you are smart to see your hair for what it is, strong to make the tough decision to trim it back, and resiliant to live and thrive with your decision. You are intelligent, flexible, and can bloom where you're planted. Yay, you! :cheer:

love from Susan
pixied from 30ish to 45, waist at 49

[mrs_coffee]

I had to cut mine a few weeks ago too. I was at waist and had a ton of thinning after using silicone free conditioner and taking too long to deduce that THAT was my problem. I'm at APL right now and it's weird having short hair again but the condition of it already looks so much better and hopefully it will grow out nice and thick and healthy. This time I'm just going to stick with what I know works for my hair.

Your hair is really pretty and mid 30s isn't anything. I'm mid 40s and anyway my dad always said "age is a state of mind." I still feel young so that's all that matters.

[spidermom]

What an encouraging, upbeat post Susan!

Having grown out to my dream length of classic (top of thighs), then cut back to shoulder, I can tell you that super-long length isn't "all that". Enjoy the length you have; have fun with it. I was surprised and pleased to rediscover how many styling options I had with shoulder length. Now I'm growing it longer and APL is my next goal; maybe by end-summer.

[-Fern]

I went from waist+ length back to collarbone length, because a stylist confused 6" and 13". So it wasn't really my choice, but I am enjoying the lightness and bounciness until it grows back.

I miss doing buns, but that just means I have several milestones to look forward to.

I was starting to worry that I defined myself around my long hair--I am kind of glad for the reprieve to evaluate that worry. I definitely prefer having long hair, but it's not the only thing that makes me feel beautiful. :blossom:

Hope you can enjoy this time at least a little!

[nycelle]

I had to cut mine a few weeks ago too. I was at waist and had a ton of thinning after using silicone free conditioner and taking too long to deduce that THAT was my problem. I'm at APL right now and it's weird having short hair again but the condition of it already looks so much better and hopefully it will grow out nice and thick and healthy. This time I'm just going to stick with what I know works for my hair.

Your hair is really pretty and mid 30s isn't anything. I'm mid 40s and anyway my dad always said "age is a state of mind." I still feel young so that's all that matters.

ooh.. i'm in the middle of testing out how my hair does with silicone free conditioners and leave-ins. Can you elaborate a bit on why silicone free caused thinning? Maybe start a thread?

[lapushka]

I had to cut mine a few weeks ago too. I was at waist and had a ton of thinning after using silicone free conditioner and taking too long to deduce that THAT was my problem. I'm at APL right now and it's weird having short hair again but the condition of it already looks so much better and hopefully it will grow out nice and thick and healthy. This time I'm just going to stick with what I know works for my hair.

Your hair is really pretty and mid 30s isn't anything. I'm mid 40s and anyway my dad always said "age is a state of mind." I still feel young so that's all that matters.

Did you use the conditioner on your scalp? Because silicone-free or + silicones usually doesn't make a difference, but some people just can't use conditioner (any kind) on the scalp or it will cause thinning, same with oils.

It is a thing!

[*Wednesday*]

I was MBL length in 2015 and was 44. Today I'm 47 and hip. You have plenty of time.

[MoonRabbit]

:grouphug: Even though it is a small set back, at least you can start fresh. I did a big chop in 2015 from mbl to hovering bsl . With an average 1/2 inch of growth, I called Hip in September 2017. Of course height and body proportions plays a big role but those few years are going to fly by and before you know it, you will be hip.

[ravenskey]

A year ago I had a series of haircuts that sent me from MBL to just scraping BSL, this January I called WL - I'm very short, only 5ft, but you'll still reach WL or HL in way less than 5 years.

[Dendra]

You're all good, DizzyGinger! I don't think 2-3 inches is that much, not if it needs to go/really improves your hair's condition. Just take happiness from the fact that your ends are in lovely condition now and that you have a great base to grow out from.

[Glitch]

... the facts: the last 2-3 inches were frayed and dry beyond repair.

That is indeed what matters, pretty lady! Had you kept those ends, they would have continued damaging your healthy hair. I know it feels like a set back for sure, but to me, it is a win-win situation to cut off something that would have ruined your hair, and to be left with a much better looking head of hair :) I know I have cut off 8+ inches during my very damaged hair days, but it always paid off. It shouldn't take you long to grow your hair back to where you were, and in much better condition than it was in before! Just try to take good care of it during its different hair growing stages and remember to enjoy your mini milestones! You're not dead yet and this life isn't over -not even close. You will be enjoying your long hair for years and years and years to come. And these few years of hair stops definitely won't define how happy you'll be with it :heartbeat

[Dark40]

I need some support from all you wonderful people! You’ve helped me for over 3-4 years as I grew my hair out from a short pixie with a goal of either waist or hip length, formidable! But I got through all the worst bits with this community and was only an inch or two from mid-back length. However I just HAD to cut it. In the past I caused damage to my hair with bleach and chemical dye. For a couple years now I’ve used henna (which I love) but recently I had to face the facts: the last 2-3 inches were frayed and dry beyond repair.


Even though my hair isn’t that short (arm pit length) it still feels like a huge step backwards. At this rate it feels like I won’t reach my goal till my mid-30s! (I’m 30 now.) Which isn’t necessarily true haha, but I’m bummed and not feeling super optimistic. Any advice or encouragement? Waist-length has gotta be years away, let alone hip, right? :/

I'm so sorry that you had to cut off several inches of damage dyed hair. Well, like one had already said, "At least you fresh healthy hair." I know the feeling of frustration wondering if you're going to ever reach your goal. I chemically relax and dye my hair but I spread out my chemical treatments. Like, one week I'll relax my hair, and then 2 or 3 weeks away from relaxing I'll color. But lately, I have decided to give my hair a rest from chemical dyes for a while so that my hair can grow out some. Just hang in there, and you will reach your goal in no time.

[Jo Ann]

DizzyGinger, you did what you needed to for your hair's health and well-being. Don't be discouraged--age is just a number when growing out your hair. I'm 61, and if you look at my avatar and sig pic, you'll see how my hair has progressed. Today, my hair is creeping past my butt crack and still growing longer! If I can do it, so can you :flower:

[Corvana]

In half a year you'll have regrown that trim, and will healthier hair for it!

Depending on your measurements, you may hit waist long before you expect to. For example, it will only take me about a year to go from APL to waist due to my shorter upper torso! But it will take me twice as long to reach TBL hehe.

But APL is a nice length! It's really not "too short", and you can do more with it than not. It was a weight off my shoulders when I finally hit APL, and after a month of growth I'm able to secure buns more easily and they're much more stable. Growing from here will be a breeze for me!

[Deborah]

With those bad ends gone I'm sure your hair is prettier now than before the trim. It should grow back in no time. Some people on here have observed that their hair seems to grow back faster after a good trim. Also, age really is no issue. I'm 65 and my hair grows way faster than average - always has. Yours will be back and longer in no time!:flower:

[hennalove]

First, you have beautiful hair! Second, how old are you going to be in that same time period if you don't grow your hair? The same! What I'm saying is age doesn't really matter as you are still going to get older whether or not you grow your hair.

I'm almost double your age, just put on a good 3" of hair in the last 3 months heading quickly towards TBL and that's with a bit of damage so if I can do it, barring unforeseen circumstances, so can you. I honestly don't think age has a lot to do with it other than perhaps age related thinning. I'm just going to keep on a growing it, treating it with TLC , a bit of benign neglect and lots of henna.

Growing hair is really about learning patience. I want my hair long, to the ground and now! However, I know I may have to trim an inch to keep healthy ends and microtrimming is always an option and yes it will be shorter but healthier so will retain the length better from there. My only real concern somedays is I don't get frustrated enough to chop it all off and if I did, well I would just start growing it out again chucking it up to an old lady tantrum :rolleyes: Patience is not one of my virtues!

[ursaV]

I went from APL to slightly above my shoulders because I was in the same situation. I am slowly getting back to my old length plus more, and it is a much less fretful journey now that my hairs healthier. Today a friend grabbed my hair and said "oh! now that all those chemicals are gone its thick!", and that just really made it all worth it for me (:
Though it will take some time, it will be so much more rewarding when you reach your goal when your ends are in good shape! Your hair is gorgeous now and it will be gorgeous in a few years because you care for it so well, no reason to stress about age!

[rachdun]

Your hair looks lovely - I wouldn't worry about being 30. I don't think that any age is too late to start growing your hair out if you want to. I am 40 and am getting close to APL again after having to have my hair cut back. It can be demoralising but you'll get there - at the the end of the day it is better to have long hair that is healthy.

[lapushka]

I think I cut back (had to) to chin twice on my journey to classic. Then after about 10 years of dye disasters and damaging practices (which: why the cut back to chin twice), I reached classic September 2015. I cut back to hip November 2016 and am now within an inch of classic once again after no trimming for all this time.

You can do it.

[chomsky]

Damaged hair has to go at some point, whether it's gradually or all at once. Either way, the length will be lost. That's how I see it anyway, and how I justify my cuts.

Now when it grows out you won't have to worry about fragile ends or visible damage. You can enjoy having healthy locks at every length!

And I wouldn't say APL to WL is that many years ahead, think how fast this year's gone already! You'll be there before you know it. :o

:blossom:

[Dark40]

DizzyGinger, you did what you needed to for your hair's health and well-being. Don't be discouraged--age is just a number when growing out your hair. I'm 61, and if you look at my avatar and sig pic, you'll see how my hair has progressed. Today, my hair is creeping past my butt crack and still growing longer! If I can do it, so can you :flower:

That's good inspiration Jo Ann! :) You're right age is just a number. Have you read or seen this article in the allure magazine about a lady named, "Andrea Colson?" She is a rapunzel with 64-inches of ankle length hair at the age of 33, and she's been growing it since she was 2 years old!!! BTW, you are so lucky to have hair now past your butt crack!!! That's wonderful!!! Congratulations!!! I'm hoping to get to that length someday too. Now, my hair is past MBL. It's almost waist length.

[Larki]

Dark40, Andrea is a member here! Arc691.

[lapushka]

That's good inspiration Jo Ann! :) You're right age is just a number. Have you read or seen this article in the allure magazine about a lady named, "Andrea Colson?" She is a rapunzel with 64-inches of ankle length hair at the age of 33, and she's been growing it since she was 2 years old!!! BTW, you are so lucky to have hair now past your butt crack!!! That's wonderful!!! Congratulations!!! I'm hoping to get to that length someday too. Now, my hair is past MBL. It's almost waist length.


Dark40, Andrea is a member here! Arc691.

She most definitely is. She has posted about the article here, and also has some picture threads on here, Dark40!

[Dark40]

Larki, Oh, ok cool. I didn't know that. Thanks for the name!
Lapushka, Ok, I will try to look for them on here!

[lapushka]

Larki, Oh, ok cool. I didn't know that. Thanks for the name!
Lapushka, Ok, I will try to look for them on here!

Looks like you found a thread by her already! :) ;)

[stachelbeere]

Have a look at my siggy- it took me 2ish years to grow to waist from apl and my hair grows painfully slowly...! Also feel free to check my growth pics. Now I’m maintaining it a bit below hip (basically keeping it between hip and bcl) which feels like the sweet spot. I remember being super impatient with my hair until I got to mbl/bsl then I magically stopped caring so much. All the best to you, happy growing!