When to do the Big Chop?

[kottikomai]

Hello LHC,

Long time lurker, first time poster. I would like some advice about chronic illness and the Big Chop.

I currently have waist length hair and I have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Since my diagnosis, and in the time leading up to it, I have lost most of the use of my arms due to pain and exhaustion. As you can imagine, this has caused my hair care to go by the wayside. Over time my hair has become a severely damaged rats nest of tangles that seems to return to its dread-lock state faster than I can de-tangle it. As you can probably imagine it has become pretty depressing to even look at my hair. This has caused me to seriously think about the big chop (probably to pixie length); however, like some of you, I am very attached to my long hair. I am also worried that I'm jumping the gun and cutting my hair too soon as I recently started medication but I can't know if they will help or how much they will help if they do.

To get to the point, if you have resorted to the big chop, what helped you make the decision? And was there anything that kept you from regretting it afterwards?

[Corvana]

How long will your medicine take to make a difference? I'd wait, and take that time to try to come to terms with the potential need to cut my hair. If, by the time the meds have been working for a couple weeks or even a month, I can't care for my hair still because it hasn't helped (or not enough), then I'd cut it.

It's a hard decision, for sure!

[leayellena]

I will keep you in my prayers. Get well soon.
Probably medication would save most of your hair. If you really want to go for the chop go for a Bob (chin to neck length) because pixie grows very hard.

[Glitch]

I did a giant chop at the very end of 2016, from hair halfway down my back to to collarbone length. I have a long torso so it was a pretty big change. I had extremely damaged, straggly, terrible fried hair and decided I wanted to grow it out healthy. I told my hairdresser I wanted to go quite short (around chin length), but she actually refused. She said I would most likely regret it, because most do when they make such a drastic and sudden change. She said she once cut a client's extremely long hair to super short hair (as requested) but saw her crying in her car afterwards.

I still wanted chin length but agreed anyway, and ended up with collarbone. While I didn't regret cutting off the damaged hair, I was very glad that the stylist didn't go shorter like I originally wanted. It already looked incredibly different and I wasn't fond of the really big change. It didn't look like me, you know? The look I was sporting was simply not my style.

Anyway, I would suggest to wait on your meds to really start kicking in (takes 8-12 weeks for most serious medications to take full effect). If you still feel this way after, I would recommend a collarbone length cut, as per my experience :) It's still a shocking change, but not bad enough that you'll stress over it. My year ago collarbone hair is now at waist already (with many trims), and much, much healthier than it ever was before.

[lapushka]

Hello LHC,

Long time lurker, first time poster. I would like some advice about chronic illness and the Big Chop.

I currently have waist length hair and I have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Since my diagnosis, and in the time leading up to it, I have lost most of the use of my arms due to pain and exhaustion. As you can imagine, this has caused my hair care to go by the wayside. Over time my hair has become a severely damaged rats nest of tangles that seems to return to its dread-lock state faster than I can de-tangle it. As you can probably imagine it has become pretty depressing to even look at my hair. This has caused me to seriously think about the big chop (probably to pixie length); however, like some of you, I am very attached to my long hair. I am also worried that I'm jumping the gun and cutting my hair too soon as I recently started medication but I can't know if they will help or how much they will help if they do.

To get to the point, if you have resorted to the big chop, what helped you make the decision? And was there anything that kept you from regretting it afterwards?

Can you get some help? If so, I would strongly recommend you let someone help you. :flower:

Wait until the medication kicks in, and see how you go. Get someone to at least comb it out. Wash it, put it up, have someone comb it out for you, rinse & repeat.

A pixie is going to be much higher maintenance, IMMHO.

[Joules]

I agree with lapushka, pixie cut requires much more maintenance. Get yourself one of those detangling hairbrushes like tangle teezer, they literally do all the job for you, ask someone for help and wait intil your meds kick in. I'm sure everything will be alright :blossom:

[Obsidian]

I also have fibromyalgia and understand the struggles. One thing that really helps is exercise. I know it sounds impossible but the more you do, the better it gets.

You will feel like crap, possibly for weeks but it will get better.
My original doctor had me almost bed bound, not to lift over 2 lbs. A new doctor was like, get out there and be physical. Took over a month of a very physical job before I started feeling better. In that time, I felt like I was dying lol.

If you really want or feel like you need to cut, I would just do a little at a time. I'm growing out a pixie and it sucks, I can't wait until I can get it in a ponytail

[Elly May]

I cut mine to a pixie when several years ago when I was having a health issue and surgery because I knew I would not be able to take care of it. The pixie was a BIG mistake--higher maintenance to look even decent and it took forever to grow out. A bob would have been a much better choice for me, and in hindsight, I really wish I had not cut at all--benign neglect is a wonderful thing for my hair.

Also, I agree with the advice to ask for help and wait a while. Keeping it up in a bun or contained while you sleep will make a big difference. Give the doctors time to work out a treatment plan and the meds time to work before you do something drastic! I will pray for you.:)

[Ondine11]

Welcome to our wonderful community! Sorry to hear about your diagnosis!

You’re not alone: I was diagnosed with Fibro (& ankylosing spondylitis) in 1995 after years of suffering. Although it doesn’t feel like it right now, the diagnosis is a turning point.

Infirmity & incapacitation aren’t inevitable with Fibro. You certainly don’t have to sacrifice your hair, if you don’t want to.

Don’t make any major decisions about anything just yet. You’ve received jarring news, & you need time.

I’d strongly suggest taking a Fibro programme run from a rehab centre or hospital. My Rheumatologist directed me to two excellent ones, & I learned all about Fibro, & how to live with it, & greatly mitigate flare-ups.

There’s a range of medication that will help you. It may take a little time to find the right combination for your unique body, but, you WILL get relief. When I was diagnosed, these newer options didn’t exist, & even then, medication helped me.

If there’s a hairdressing school in your area, they typically offer a range of services by their advanced students. Since all you need is a shampoo, deep conditioning (possibly your ends trimmed) & a blow dry, it would be very affordable. Their prices are much lower than regular salon fees.

There are assistive devices like shower seats ( I’d needed one, at first) & a range of tools out there that’ll make every imaginable task easier for you.

Don’t give up on your hair, or yourself. You can live a full, long haired life despite Fibro.

[MusicalSpoons]

My outlook on life with a disabling chronic illness is to find ways around things - doing things differently so I can continue with what I can, and only ceasing something if there's no other way. My legs are worse than my arms so what's helped me may not help you, but one tiny change that made a huge difference was bending forward to detangle hair closer to the scalp, so I don't have to lift my arms so high. I've also accepted that intricate braided styles are not for me - I really struggle to use my arms long enough to do a single braid, so it's a good thing my hair doesn't like braids anyway, really.

Ondine11 is spot on about aids - there are almost limitless devices to help with everyday activities. For your hair it might be a case of needing to find the right detangling tool, the right products (e.g. specific conditioner, oil, etc) to make your hair the easiest to manage. [And, hair or not, shower stools are awesome! Mine has saved me So Many Times.]

In the meantime, if you need and can have someone to assist you, there's absolutely no shame in asking for help. It might feel like giving up some of your independence but if it means you have a little less pain, a little more energy to 'do' something else (however small, I mean even if, hypothetically, not doing your own hair meant you could use your arms to feed yourself) then it could mean preserving some independence elsewhere.

[To be clear, I have no idea of your situation but no matter how much or how little you can do, always be open to ways of doing things that work better for your body. It's a different mindset - not a 'disabled' mindset necessarily, but recognising your new normal and working to better it. Able-bodied people do the same, just they might be working to improve different aspects of their life unconnected to their physical abilities. A different normal can be just that - not inherently worse, just different. Life with a disability is still life, and one worth living! I recommend reading around online, especially about pacing. A great blog that helped me to keep positive and trying to live well with my condition is this https://stickmancommunications.blogspot.co.uk - I don't have the same condition as the author of the blog or you; my most debilitating symptoms are fatigue, muscle weakness and brainfog, and like most of these kinds of conditions it's invisible and variable. So while I don't quite feel your pain, I really do understand how a health condition can potentially totally change your life.]

I hope some of this made sense; I know this is probably a very uncertain time for you so I agree with those above who suggest waiting a bit, until things are a bit more stable and you've found where your new baseline is, your new normal :flower: