HELP PLEASE! Can't style hair at all - tangles galore, impossible to handle :(

[moniee]

Hi all,

Help me please!

So here is a confession - I have waist length hair, uncolored, I love it. But when it comes to styling I can do one thing: use my claw clip and put it in a bun. (If I wear it down it will tangle like hell, so I do it but rarely).
So now I have all this long hair and all I do is wear it up! :(

I imagined that once I have this much hair I will be able to style it in many ways. I have an enormous board on Pinterest full of hair tutorials.

I've tried a few hairstyles - what happens is I can just about tease my hair at the top to raise it's volume up for a ponytail. A high pony is just about stretching the line, but a couple of times a year I can manage it in just under an hour.
I tried to do two french braids once for a cosplay - I almost ended up in tears and 1,5 hours have been lost from my life. Never tried it since.

This is what happens: When I start to part my hair, the top of the section parts okay but the ends stick together and I have to manually run my fingers through the whole length to prevent it from tangling. This is especially horrible when I am doing braids, which I would love to but for reasons aforemenioned I can't do it (without a mental breakdown). It tangles SO easily.
Also, my hair feels as if it will just fall in every direction whatever I try to do with it especially when trying to direct it on the top of my head - it just falls apart, each hair just slipping out of my hand off my head, tangling together.

I would say my hair is not necessarily dry, I have just a few split ends so pretty good on that front. I use a shampoo (sparely on the length focusing only on the scalp) and conditioner after shampoo on the whole hair. I have 1a F ii hair according to this forum. So I have a lot of hair, pin straight, but each hair is very fine. I tried to use leave in conditioners (spray and also cream).

Is something wrong with my hair which I could improve or is my clumsiness a factor too? Ie. I'm clumsy to handle my own hair?
Any suggestions on how can I master the french braid without a mental breakdown please?

Thank you so much in advance :) :)

[moniee]

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e0/96/94/e0969440886fa52fbc65444c9e5ab53c.jpg

Illustration of my hair, tangled like crazy. Tried to wear it in two ponytails to prevent the back from matting but my hair clearly didn't care and matted and tangled anyway...

[lapushka]

I think a bun at waist is quite a go-to.

There are people who wear it loose even at longer lengths, but a quick easy bun is always nice to have in your routine. If even for half a day, or just to quickly get it out the way.

I don't know about teasing at your length - I would not chance that at all!

Also, be very selective with the hairstyles you do do.


This is what happens: When I start to part my hair, the top of the section parts okay but the ends stick together and I have to manually run my fingers through the whole length to prevent it from tangling. This is especially horrible when I am doing braids, which I would love to but for reasons aforemenioned I can't do it (without a mental breakdown). It tangles SO easily.

In part, that seems quite normal. If I part my hair, I also need to separate the ends manually. Goes with long hair. But knots are a no-no. That's where I draw the line.

I don't think anything is wrong with your hair at all.

But it does look particularly tangly in the picture!

[moniee]

Hey thanks Lapushka, I know these problems come with long hair but my question is how can I still enjoy styling my hair.
It is one thing wearing a bun is a good thing but it shouldn't be the only style I ever wear. I want to find a way where I can braid and style my hair in different hairdos!

[Frankenstein]

Have you tried clarifying? That might help a bit with the tangles. Also, are you using silicones? The products you’re using could be causing buildup which in turn leads to tangling, especially if you’re a finey.

[enting]

It's important to go really slow when separating sections or keeping braid sections separate. I find that the slower I go the less tangly and knotted the hair gets. If I don't run my fingers between the sections nearly every time I cross a section over it *will* start backbraiding at the end of my hair. That's just tangle city then. With long hair one cannot simply start braiding and expect the sections to stay separated and well behaved.
Do you use silicones? They can help a lot with slip. Might you need to clarify, could you have buildup encouraging tangles?
I don't think I can easily wear my hair down or in just a ponytail/pigtails at that length either without it looking like yours does in the picture above.

[Flowerness]

I understand the tangles issue. For me, I get more or less tangles according to how I am washing my hair and what products I'm using on it. Do you use cones? Go cone free? Any time I am having difficulty with my hair I clarify (I use Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo) followed by a nice deep conditioner. I have highly porous hair, so I have to always use a leave in, and something in my hair before I wash it also. By testing to see what my hair likes, I've found that by switching from a coney conditioner to Suave Coconut, a ton of my tangles go away.

As for french braiding: learning how do it really is the pits, right? The first few times I tried, it turned out wonky, took forever, my arms hurt like crazy, and it made my hair snarl! I've discovered that making sure to deeply moisturize my hair helps. Deep conditioner, SMT, oil, and leave in all work for me. Then, carefully de tangle hair. Then, for ease of braiding, I put my hair in a half up. I like to use a barrette. Then, I only have to french braid the back part of my hair, so I'm already half way there. I start from the half up, and french braid from there. I use one hand to detangle hair, and braid, the other hand holds my hair in place. I take a bit, to rest my arm and shake it a bit if it is taking a while. I tend to do large sections in back (because my hair is thick) so I'm done faster. Once I figured this worked for me, practicing helped. Hair pics showed that each time I tried it got a bit better. A regular english braid helps your fingers get used to moving like that.

I hope that you find what works for you! It doesn't have to be huge or GOT hair. What do you like? Twists? Rope braids? Topsy tail pony tails? How about pushing hair back with barrettes in the back, or even twisting the hair a bit first? Have fun with your hair!

[lithostoic]

That just comes with the length tbh. Braiding has been noticeably more difficult since reaching MBL. Try braiding your hair wet instead :)

[JennGalt]

Maybe some serum or something to add slip would help? I have a lot more trouble with tangling if my hair doesn't have any slip to it. Tangles materialize out of nowhere, hair snags on other strands, and by time I untangle one section more tangles have appeared elsewhere, or somehow the roots have tangles again. Super frustrating. But add some slip and the problem goes away for me, or is at least manageable.

[cjk]

I've seen repeated mentions of Velcro tips...split ends and other damage that can cause hair to clump together at the tips.

Might this be part of the problem?

[lapushka]

moniee, understood about the styles!

Could you talk to us a little more about your routine? The types of products you use (name + brand), so we can see whether or not it contains butters, waxes, silicones. Those can all build up on the hair quite fast, which makes the need to clarify wash more of a necessity. It could also be involved in the hair tangling up more than it needs to. Or, you might be using products that are too harsh for your hairtype. Could be a number of things.

[shaluwm_agape]

Yes I was going to ask what do you use are you taking any supplements?

[Corvana]

I think part of it is honestly just your hair type. My roommate has hip length 1a/1b/F/ii hair, and her hair is like gossamer silk. It's floaty and a big pain in the butt. Hers is bleach damaged now, but even before (I've known her for ten years now!) it would be the same. She's always found it easiest to have someone else do her hair, because it just loves to wrap around itself and float off to wherever the heck it wants to.

Another part is of course the length, once you've got so much hair to deal with it starts to have its own mind :laugh:

And then of course there's definitely the potential issue of needing to clarify, or maybe even a tiny trim (my own ends are getting really velcro-y and I plan to trim in June because of it).

[Nini]

It's worth a shot to clarify.

But mostly it sounds like you need to practice. Do you know how to do a simple English braid? I find braiding is a bit like math, you need to master the basics before moving onwards and upwards. When I brad my hair I comb it, make three sections and start braiding. With a flick of my hand I make sure each section is free after every third or fourth movement. My hair is long enough that the ends will braid too if I don't separate them.

Spending an hour on a ponytail is a lot! What kind of standards are you after? I don't wear ponytails, but it's the same base as my bun. I can never get all the hair flat agains my head, there's always gonna be some bulge down towards my neck,it's just how it is. I never tease my hair, so maybe some of your time was spent on that.

To get your fingers used to braiding you can use ropes or scarves or whatever. And then you have to adapt it to the back of your head. Some find using a mirror helpful, others do better without. I braid my own hair quite well, but I'm not as good braiding others as I struggle to get the tension right then :)

[spidermom]

Practice braiding when you have nothing in particular that you have to do, maybe while you're watching TV or something like that. Don't put pressure on yourself over it. There's definitely a learning curve where braiding is concerned. As mentioned by others above, running your fingers down the length of your hair as you are braiding is essential to keeping the sections separated.

[school of fish]

I understand EXACTLY what you mean - your description of how your hair behaves and the pic you showed... well that could be my hair! I really do believe that hair texture features really large here. Braiding is a nightmare for me too, and my hair is in very good condition now - it just has a naturally cobwebby texture that resists sectioning and a slippery hand that resists holding in a style. It makes me dislike styling my hair quite frankly, and I wear it down most of the time not only because I like it down, but because I just can't stand the heartache every time I go to braid or try anything beyond a basic bun. So I really understand you here!

I do think clarifying on a fairly regular basis and braiding when wet are very good suggestions. Personally I can't have any buildup or product at all without making that grabby/tangly thing worse, so I shampoo with sulphates frequently (daily in my case) and follow up with a light but thick silicone conditioner. Even with daily sulphate washing, I still need to clarify once in a while. I also microtrim every month - keeps the ends fresh which really helps them stay as ungrabby as they can. For the last 6 months or so I've been using a comb to assist rinsing out my conditioner in the shower - this has helped make my hair a little less cobwebby and a little more 'sectionable'.

Styling, and braiding in particular I find, takes a lot of patience and practice. Try practicing when you don't have the pressure of an event ahead of you, and go in with low expectations on the result ;) Think of it more as building a skill rather than creating a style - the skill will improve with practice and the style will come along with it. Keep the goals small to start -like getting a basic english braid to feel comfortable to make - then set the goals a little higher as each skill takes hold.

For myself, I just don't enjoy the styling process so I just don't really do it ;) A side braid with a long tassel, a puffed not-i-lus bun and a lazy wrap are about the only styles I do. I did discover that dutch braiding seems to hold better through the slippery texture than french braiding, but the sectioning fight remains enough of an impediment that I don't bother doing it very often ;) But that's just me!

This hair texture is absolutely stylable! It just requires a different kind of mindset, in my opinion ;) Set your expectations to a long-game approach, look at your care routine to see if you can try any tweaks that might help reduce the tangliness, practice lots and keep it simple. Enjoy any small style you've achieved - and post it in the mini-milestone thread if you feel so inclined :D

Keep practicing, good luck!!

[leayellena]

Try silicone conditioners or co-wash with a silicone hair mask. Yeah my every thing must be "natural". Lush is also "natural" for example but their hair mask is a plain soap with SLS/sles.

[Reyn127]

Oof, your hair sounds like it behaves a lot like mine, where if it’s allowed to, it just turns into one big semi-matted chunk? I have all but given up on French braiding my hair since it got past hip length, because of the tangles that work themselves into the length and ends of my hair.

I would also agree with some PP’s and say to try clarifying your length and ends first. If your hair is still hard to manage after that, here are some things that have helped me that you can maybe try:
-Oiling your hair. It definitely doesn’t work for everyone, but for me, a few drops of oil (usually almond, though I’ve tried a few others,) smoothed into the ends helps a little bit as I’m trying to untangle my hair, and it does a little something to keep it from tangling quite as immediately otherwise.
-Making sure your hair is entirely tangle free, and keeping it up all the time whenever you’re moving. Basically, making sure that you maintain an absence of tangles in your hair in the first place. For me, my hair is MUCH easier to manage day to day if I make sure to comb it out every single day and keep it up and secure after that. I try not to put my hair up if it has tangles in it, because I know it will all just get a little worse as my hair style becomes less neat throughout the day. Even if my hair is up nearly the entire time, my hair will fill up with a bunch of little mats if I don’t comb out my hair for two or three days. At that point it takes an hour to detangle. But by doing it every single day and putting it right back up, it goes much quicker, and it’s WAY easier to separate out portions for braiding.
-While detangling my hair, I will usually focus on sections and then put up the section that’s done, because it tends to tangle back with the rest of my hair as I’m working on other portions.
-While braiding, make sure your hair is entirely free of tangles before you begin. Otherwise it will be a sob fest, trust me. That way you won’t have to struggle with all these tangles while trying to keep a hold of all these strands of hair on some random spot on your head.
-Also while braiding, if you can, try tilting your head in the way that makes your hair fall away directly from the area you are braiding at. Does that make any sense? Basically you want your hair to be “standing up” from your scalp in the spot that you’re braiding in. For me it helps to separate out the strands, I think because the hair isn’t lying on top of itself so much, but instead it’s hanging there more freely which is easier to gather from without friction, which creates tangles.
-ALSO while braiding ( can you tell I’ve had a lot of trouble with this?) - as I cross a strand over, I tend to give it a couple shakes back and forth to kind of shake the length into place/bounce it up and down a little to get the length to fall into the right spot and also pull/shake the length out of and back-brainding that might be happening. I do this with just about every cross of a strand. It can also help to try to shake a new strand loose as you’re trying to separate new hair.

Ok, I think that’s all I have for now as far as what I’ve tried personally. I know that silicones would probably help be giving you a lot of slip, but I don’t have a lot of personal knowledge. I do know that with silicones though, you do need to usually keep up with clarifying your hair regularly, and also it’s a good idea to be aware that silicones can mask dryness or other problems with hair hair by making it look and feel really good, but beneath the silicone coating it might need a bit of babying every once in a while even though all may seem and feel well for a long while.

Anyway, I hope some of this can help, sorry it’s so long.

[lucid]

Are you sure your hair is 1a? Looks a bit wavy in the pic, but I don't know if it's natural or not.

I braid my hair a lot, and also have to separate the strands all the way down to avoid back braiding and tangles. I think this goes for everyone after a certain length.

Are your ends damaged? Splits, breakage or anything like that? Nothing makes my hair tangle as much as bad ends...

Also, you may need different products as your hair gets longer. I was cone free down to hip, but had to switch back to cones after that because of increased tangles as the length grew.

Build up can also cause hair that sticks together, so I agree with the rest, you should try clarifying.

[moniee]

Hey guys thank you so much for all your replies! It’s lovely to see so many useful comments. Thank you!

You already made me realise a very importand keyword I badly needed: SLIP! That’s what I need. I need my hair to ‘slip’ instead of getting stuck on itself (and everything around it).

My routine, as you guys asked:
I was my hair around 3 times in 2 weeks. I don't take any supplements. I sometimes use the CWC method, but even if I don’t I try to keep the shampoo off my length and only condition it. I focus on my scalp and roots with the shampoo.
When I feel my hair is a bit matte, it doesn’t feel silky anymore, that’s when I go in with the shampoo and apply it to the whole length.

Before, I used Head& shoulders anti dandruff shampoo then used the Tresemme conditioner:

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/55/fe/49/55fe49fb8bb54d8b5ed76d4d0541d551.jpg https://i.pinimg.com/564x/02/c0/d7/02c0d7d1d8f8140d402b7263a8ebee75.jpg

Now that has ran out and I switched to the Pantene shampoo plus a Pantene conditioner. With these guys, I can feel my hair MIGHT be a touch silkier and slippier? So far so good.
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b0/2d/5b/b02d5b8d114f534a8707d2f1b36fffee.jpghttps://i.pinimg.com/564x/0a/45/8e/0a458e1a14888cd358d138d7e3c8235e.jpg

I'm sorry for this blurry image I only noticed!!

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a3/69/fc/a369fc12067b9d636fc9cf133d3d85be.jpghttps://i.pinimg.com/564x/58/1d/d9/581dd97b67106c713cef2f891585c88c.jpg



And then sometimes, (once every 1 or 2 weeks maybe) I use this leave in conditioner spray.

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e1/94/93/e194933d9c19e8a86d7a5c4be90c98ac.jpg



Have you tried clarifying? That might help a bit with the tangles. Also, are you using silicones? The products you’re using could be causing buildup which in turn leads to tangling, especially if you’re a finey.

I think in my method described above, you Could say I clarify every now and again? I couldn't find any silicone in the stuff I'm using which is weird because I totally thought there was silicone in it!




It's important to go really slow when separating sections or keeping braid sections separate. I find that the slower I go the less tangly and knotted the hair gets. If I don't run my fingers between the sections nearly every time I cross a section over it *will* start backbraiding at the end of my hair. That's just tangle city then. With long hair one cannot simply start braiding and expect the sections to stay separated and well behaved.
Do you use silicones? They can help a lot with slip. Might you need to clarify, could you have buildup encouraging tangles?
I don't think I can easily wear my hair down or in just a ponytail/pigtails at that length either without it looking like yours does in the picture above.

That is really sad news for me. Why have long hair if I can't wear it down!! Okay, whining over. I will have to try using silicones.


I understand the tangles issue. For me, I get more or less tangles according to how I am washing my hair and what products I'm using on it. Do you use cones? Go cone free? Any time I am having difficulty with my hair I clarify (I use Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo) followed by a nice deep conditioner. I have highly porous hair, so I have to always use a leave in, and something in my hair before I wash it also. By testing to see what my hair likes, I've found that by switching from a coney conditioner to Suave Coconut, a ton of my tangles go away.

As for french braiding: learning how do it really is the pits, right? The first few times I tried, it turned out wonky, took forever, my arms hurt like crazy, and it made my hair snarl! I've discovered that making sure to deeply moisturize my hair helps. Deep conditioner, SMT, oil, and leave in all work for me. Then, carefully de tangle hair. Then, for ease of braiding, I put my hair in a half up. I like to use a barrette. Then, I only have to french braid the back part of my hair, so I'm already half way there. I start from the half up, and french braid from there. I use one hand to detangle hair, and braid, the other hand holds my hair in place. I take a bit, to rest my arm and shake it a bit if it is taking a while. I tend to do large sections in back (because my hair is thick) so I'm done faster. Once I figured this worked for me, practicing helped. Hair pics showed that each time I tried it got a bit better. A regular english braid helps your fingers get used to moving like that.

I hope that you find what works for you! It doesn't have to be huge or GOT hair. What do you like? Twists? Rope braids? Topsy tail pony tails? How about pushing hair back with barrettes in the back, or even twisting the hair a bit first? Have fun with your hair!

I have a question. How on earth do you know you have highly porous hair?? I will also have to find out how to deep condition as I have no clue. I think my conditioners are con free? I might try this Suave Coconut thank you!
What is SMT please? I tried to do homework and found out what cones, clarifying etc etc are but still a lot to learn!
Yes I guess you are right, part of it is down to technique. And YES arm rest is needed too! But when I'm at the edge of crying every time I try I sort of lose hope! I really like the warrior style braids, I mean cornrows at the side, french braid on top, basically I would love to go crazy like that. As you say I would want to have fun with my hair! Thank you for your tips!
Examples!
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/fd/a4/4c/fda44cd910f7e8878747d19bc1b70feb.jpg https://i.pinimg.com/564x/35/58/99/355899ed0c3e27f86ece6a9dc4cee221.jpg


Maybe some serum or something to add slip would help? I have a lot more trouble with tangling if my hair doesn't have any slip to it. Tangles materialize out of nowhere, hair snags on other strands, and by time I untangle one section more tangles have appeared elsewhere, or somehow the roots have tangles again. Super frustrating. But add some slip and the problem goes away for me, or is at least manageable.

Yess I need that. I have no clue what serum to use tho! Slip is defo the keyword I need!


I've seen repeated mentions of Velcro tips...split ends and other damage that can cause hair to clump together at the tips.

Might this be part of the problem?

Velcro tips, what are those? I'm quite alright actually I don't have much split ends at all which I am very happy for!


It's worth a shot to clarify.


But mostly it sounds like you need to practice. Do you know how to do a simple English braid? I find braiding is a bit like math, you need to master the basics before moving onwards and upwards. When I brad my hair I comb it, make three sections and start braiding. With a flick of my hand I make sure each section is free after every third or fourth movement. My hair is long enough that the ends will braid too if I don't separate them.


Spending an hour on a ponytail is a lot! What kind of standards are you after? I don't wear ponytails, but it's the same base as my bun. I can never get all the hair flat agains my head, there's always gonna be some bulge down towards my neck,it's just how it is. I never tease my hair, so maybe some of your time was spent on that.


To get your fingers used to braiding you can use ropes or scarves or whatever. And then you have to adapt it to the back of your head. Some find using a mirror helpful, others do better without. I braid my own hair quite well, but I'm not as good braiding others as I struggle to get the tension right then :)

Yes I can actually braid someone else quite well! It's just when it comes to my own hair I struggle so much!
These are what I made before but the twin braids were the ones that caused my mental breakdown:
https://hu.pinterest.com/pin/496592296402741127/
https://hu.pinterest.com/pin/441000988493207601/

[moniee]

Practice braiding when you have nothing in particular that you have to do, maybe while you're watching TV or something like that. Don't put pressure on yourself over it. There's definitely a learning curve where braiding is concerned. As mentioned by others above, running your fingers down the length of your hair as you are braiding is essential to keeping the sections separated.

Yes I will have to do that! Thanks!


I understand EXACTLY what you mean - your description of how your hair behaves and the pic you showed... well that could be my hair! I really do believe that hair texture features really large here. Braiding is a nightmare for me too, and my hair is in very good condition now - it just has a naturally cobwebby texture that resists sectioning and a slippery hand that resists holding in a style. It makes me dislike styling my hair quite frankly, and I wear it down most of the time not only because I like it down, but because I just can't stand the heartache every time I go to braid or try anything beyond a basic bun. So I really understand you here!

I do think clarifying on a fairly regular basis and braiding when wet are very good suggestions. Personally I can't have any buildup or product at all without making that grabby/tangly thing worse, so I shampoo with sulphates frequently (daily in my case) and follow up with a light but thick silicone conditioner. Even with daily sulphate washing, I still need to clarify once in a while. I also microtrim every month - keeps the ends fresh which really helps them stay as ungrabby as they can. For the last 6 months or so I've been using a comb to assist rinsing out my conditioner in the shower - this has helped make my hair a little less cobwebby and a little more 'sectionable'.

Styling, and braiding in particular I find, takes a lot of patience and practice. Try practicing when you don't have the pressure of an event ahead of you, and go in with low expectations on the result ;) Think of it more as building a skill rather than creating a style - the skill will improve with practice and the style will come along with it. Keep the goals small to start -like getting a basic english braid to feel comfortable to make - then set the goals a little higher as each skill takes hold.

For myself, I just don't enjoy the styling process so I just don't really do it ;) A side braid with a long tassel, a puffed not-i-lus bun and a lazy wrap are about the only styles I do. I did discover that dutch braiding seems to hold better through the slippery texture than french braiding, but the sectioning fight remains enough of an impediment that I don't bother doing it very often ;) But that's just me!

This hair texture is absolutely stylable! It just requires a different kind of mindset, in my opinion ;) Set your expectations to a long-game approach, look at your care routine to see if you can try any tweaks that might help reduce the tangliness, practice lots and keep it simple. Enjoy any small style you've achieved - and post it in the mini-milestone thread if you feel so inclined :D

Keep practicing, good luck!!

Ohh it's so nice to see someone else with such similar hair! Yes it is exactly like that for me too! Thank you - I will try using a silicone conditioner and will try to work on my braiding tech. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with me!! <3


Try silicone conditioners or co-wash with a silicone hair mask. Yeah my every thing must be "natural". Lush is also "natural" for example but their hair mask is a plain soap with SLS/sles.

Oooooh this sounds interesting I might pop over to Lush in that case! NEver used a hair mask before so will look into that too.



Oof, your hair sounds like it behaves a lot like mine, where if it’s allowed to, it just turns into one big semi-matted chunk? I have all but given up on French braiding my hair since it got past hip length, because of the tangles that work themselves into the length and ends of my hair.

I would also agree with some PP’s and say to try clarifying your length and ends first. If your hair is still hard to manage after that, here are some things that have helped me that you can maybe try:
-Oiling your hair. It definitely doesn’t work for everyone, but for me, a few drops of oil (usually almond, though I’ve tried a few others,) smoothed into the ends helps a little bit as I’m trying to untangle my hair, and it does a little something to keep it from tangling quite as immediately otherwise.
-Making sure your hair is entirely tangle free, and keeping it up all the time whenever you’re moving. Basically, making sure that you maintain an absence of tangles in your hair in the first place. For me, my hair is MUCH easier to manage day to day if I make sure to comb it out every single day and keep it up and secure after that. I try not to put my hair up if it has tangles in it, because I know it will all just get a little worse as my hair style becomes less neat throughout the day. Even if my hair is up nearly the entire time, my hair will fill up with a bunch of little mats if I don’t comb out my hair for two or three days. At that point it takes an hour to detangle. But by doing it every single day and putting it right back up, it goes much quicker, and it’s WAY easier to separate out portions for braiding.
-While detangling my hair, I will usually focus on sections and then put up the section that’s done, because it tends to tangle back with the rest of my hair as I’m working on other portions.
-While braiding, make sure your hair is entirely free of tangles before you begin. Otherwise it will be a sob fest, trust me. That way you won’t have to struggle with all these tangles while trying to keep a hold of all these strands of hair on some random spot on your head.
-Also while braiding, if you can, try tilting your head in the way that makes your hair fall away directly from the area you are braiding at. Does that make any sense? Basically you want your hair to be “standing up” from your scalp in the spot that you’re braiding in. For me it helps to separate out the strands, I think because the hair isn’t lying on top of itself so much, but instead it’s hanging there more freely which is easier to gather from without friction, which creates tangles.
-ALSO while braiding ( can you tell I’ve had a lot of trouble with this?) - as I cross a strand over, I tend to give it a couple shakes back and forth to kind of shake the length into place/bounce it up and down a little to get the length to fall into the right spot and also pull/shake the length out of and back-brainding that might be happening. I do this with just about every cross of a strand. It can also help to try to shake a new strand loose as you’re trying to separate new hair.

Ok, I think that’s all I have for now as far as what I’ve tried personally. I know that silicones would probably help be giving you a lot of slip, but I don’t have a lot of personal knowledge. I do know that with silicones though, you do need to usually keep up with clarifying your hair regularly, and also it’s a good idea to be aware that silicones can mask dryness or other problems with hair hair by making it look and feel really good, but beneath the silicone coating it might need a bit of babying every once in a while even though all may seem and feel well for a long while.

Anyway, I hope some of this can help, sorry it’s so long.

Yes I do wear my hair in a bun most of the time, with a claw clip, so there's not even any hairties involved to break my hair. But I would so want to have some other everyday styles as well!
Oh that is so helpful thank you very much! I do know how you mean the head tilting game. I will give it a try. Also thank you for explaining the silicone bit! I could remember something about silicones that I heard a long time ago, that they make your hair all smooth but there is an underlying issue with themand I just couldn't remember that bit! So thank you a lot!



Are you sure your hair is 1a? Looks a bit wavy in the pic, but I don't know if it's natural or not.

I braid my hair a lot, and also have to separate the strands all the way down to avoid back braiding and tangles. I think this goes for everyone after a certain length.

Are your ends damaged? Splits, breakage or anything like that? Nothing makes my hair tangle as much as bad ends...

Also, you may need different products as your hair gets longer. I was cone free down to hip, but had to switch back to cones after that because of increased tangles as the length grew.

Build up can also cause hair that sticks together, so I agree with the rest, you should try clarifying.

Yep, sure, my hair is pin straight, not a single wave in it. On the picture it is wavy because it tangles so badly. It was taken at the end of a long day when I was wearing my wool coat which also doesn't help at all. I don't have a lot of split ends at all so I'm very happy about it! Yes I will probs try silicones!

[Corvana]

How often do you tease your hair? Teasing causes the cuticle of the hair to stick up, which if done often will damage it and cause it to stay up all the time. This both makes it grab itself and makes it unable to keep moisture very well! Damage from hair dye does the same thing, only way more at once.

Your shampoos and conditioners all already have silicones, dimethicone the most common. To truly clarify your hair (and for good measure chelate tbh), grab yourself a bottle of Suave Daily Clarifying, it's like $5 in the US. Don't use it daily, of course, but you can use it on all of your hair, let it sit for a couple minutes, rinse and do a deep conditioner (my favorite coney deep conditioner is L'Oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture. It made my heavily bleached hair soooooo soft and silky and slippery). Let the deep conditioner sit in your hair as you do whatever else (like wash the rest of you, or shave, or sing or whatever) for like 5 minutes. I always listen to music in the shower so that I can be sure that I'm letting my conditioner sit long enough. One song for regular, two for deep!

You want to get a silicone free shampoo for best clarifying results, IMO. The Suave has no silicones, while your Pantene (and I believe the Head and Shoulders?) does. It seems counter-intuitive to put silicones in your hair while you're trying to get rid of silicones. I feel like it would at best do the job part way! But I don't know, I'm not an actual scientist, I just go by what I used to use and feel with my own hair when I used silicones.

[lapushka]

I think your routine is just fine, and to me (if you were to ask me), you are using good products, especially where conditioner is concerned. Products for dry, damaged hair are the *most* moisturizing on the market and will give you the best moisture & slip! Good choice.

I'm not sure I know what else you could possibly do. It's a mystery.

Maybe do wear your hair up more? :flower:

[Lady Stardust]

Step away from the wool! My hair doesn't tangle usually but will tangle awfully against a wool coat, jumper or scarf. It might help to religiously wear your hair up when wearing wool, or put a layer of something in between, like a soft smooth scarf.

I spent hours knitting a stripy ribbed Dr Who scarf and then couldn't wear it because it made my hair a mess!

[cjk]

Assuming you mean Tom Baker, I officially love you!

[Lady Stardust]

Assuming you mean Tom Baker, I officially love you!

Of course. Tom Baker is Dr Who.

[cjk]

I started with Pertwee. You always identify best with your first Doctor.

But yeah, he was absolutely iconic.

[Lady Stardust]

I started with Pertwee. You always identify best with your first Doctor.

But yeah, he was absolutely iconic.

Tom Baker was my first doctor :-) Jon Pertwee held the place of honour for my brother, who is 2 years older than me. I'm fond of Jon Pertwee though because he was Worzel Gummidge!

[moniee]

How often do you tease your hair? Teasing causes the cuticle of the hair to stick up, which if done often will damage it and cause it to stay up all the time. This both makes it grab itself and makes it unable to keep moisture very well! Damage from hair dye does the same thing, only way more at once.


Your shampoos and conditioners all already have silicones, dimethicone the most common. To truly clarify your hair (and for good measure chelate tbh), grab yourself a bottle of Suave Daily Clarifying, it's like $5 in the US. Don't use it daily, of course, but you can use it on all of your hair, let it sit for a couple minutes, rinse and do a deep conditioner (my favorite coney deep conditioner is L'Oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture. It made my heavily bleached hair soooooo soft and silky and slippery). Let the deep conditioner sit in your hair as you do whatever else (like wash the rest of you, or shave, or sing or whatever) for like 5 minutes. I always listen to music in the shower so that I can be sure that I'm letting my conditioner sit long enough. One song for regular, two for deep!


You want to get a silicone free shampoo for best clarifying results, IMO. The Suave has no silicones, while your Pantene (and I believe the Head and Shoulders?) does. It seems counter-intuitive to put silicones in your hair while you're trying to get rid of silicones. I feel like it would at best do the job part way! But I don't know, I'm not an actual scientist, I just go by what I used to use and feel with my own hair when I used silicones.

I tease my hair, only at the roots, like 6 times a year. So I definitely wouldn't put this down as a reason for ill behaving hair! Thank you so much for your product recommendations Corvana. That deep conditioner sounds amazeballs. I'll definitely check it out!


I think your routine is just fine, and to me (if you were to ask me), you are using good products, especially where conditioner is concerned. Products for dry, damaged hair are the *most* moisturizing on the market and will give you the best moisture & slip! Good choice.


I'm not sure I know what else you could possibly do. It's a mystery.


Maybe do wear your hair up more? :flower:




Thank you. The problem is I wear my hair up ALLLL the time. I want to break free from that. Thanks for your comment!


Step away from the wool! My hair doesn't tangle usually but will tangle awfully against a wool coat, jumper or scarf. It might help to religiously wear your hair up when wearing wool, or put a layer of something in between, like a soft smooth scarf.


I spent hours knitting a stripy ribbed Dr Who scarf and then couldn't wear it because it made my hair a mess!

That's right, I end up wearing my hair up with my wool coat because of that. They are not friends are they :( Sorry about your scarf!

[Simsy]

Just on the braiding front, I can’t braid my hair without tangles either. I get around the problem by braiding in sections. First detangle and braid the top section. Braid slowly and remember to run your hand down each section to make sure they aren’t getting involved with each other; the idea is to keep the tangles in their own section. Once you have enough braid that you can move it over your shoulder; pull over and stop. Grab a comb and gently work the tangles out of the next section while holding your braid. No need to pull, just work up the sections bit by bit (I flick the section I’m working on up onto my arm so it’s seperate and I can see where the big knots are against my skin). Once you have the tangles out, keep braiding. I generally need to do 2 or 3 section like this; braid a bit and detangle; braid a bit and detangle. Always make sure the sections stay seperate, move a section and run your hand down to the end; rinse and repeat. If you can keep the tangles in just individual sections instead of tangling right across the bottom, it’s a lot easier to handle.

Also, oil might help with the ends acting up; just a suggestion

[Pumpkin3826]

I seem to get frustrated with my hair every few months similar to what you are going through. I remember plenty of times trying to do pigtail French braids and my arms getting so tired and I would end up in tears out of frustration. :( All I can say is practice and be patient. Start out with just a single French braid, try putting some oil on the ends to help them from tangling when you braid, after all it will be in a braid no one will see it is oily, it will just look shinny and pretty. Once you can master one French braid then try to do pigtail French braids. I like to wear just pigtail English braids, they are way easier then French braids. I was initially worried they look too childish but then I thought I don't care, I would rather have an easy comfortable way to wear my hair then worry about other people's thoughts. A single side braid is another easy style that is quick and looks put together and protective. Also around waist length I discovered Lilla Rose hair toys. I got a few Flexi clips and some hair sticks. The Flexi clips are a figure 8 with a stick attached, that seems to be the easiest for me to use, I am still learning with the hair sticks, My hair seems to want to slip out of those. The only bun I have mastered is the lazy wrap bun. It is always going to be a learning process and at different stages in your hair growth journey one style might work out better then others. Some night's I will just spend hours watching youtube tutorials and trying to do my hair at the same time as them. Good Luck!

[Flowerness]

You seem to be getting a ton of great tips here! I think my hair is highly porous because of the way it absorbs conditioner, water, and hair goos so quickly. Then, it'll go from wet, to curly, to dry/frizzy crazy fast. Other people may find their hair is low porosity. Instead of hair conditioner, water, and serums, etc. just soaking into the hair, it tends to sit on top of the hair. They have a hard time getting moisture, etc. into the hair. Build up happens faster with this kind of hair. Since you are using products with dimethicone, etc. in it, it wouldn't hurt to use a shampoo called "clarifying" every so often. (2 weeks to a month, maybe?) followed by a deep condition or hair mask. I like to use SMT sometimes, also. (There is a recipe on here, somewhere. It means to mix a cone free conditioner with honey and aloe vera, and let sit on your hair for a while to moisturize it. I love doing this - my hair turns out so soft!) Any time my hair gets greasy fast, tangly, etc. I do this and it seems to help. Oiling my hair also works. Some people with fine hair love using coconut oil on their hair. I use olive oil, and I put it on for 30 minutes before I shampoo, or even overnight. It helps me tons, too. This may be a weird tip, but I try to wash my hair brush and comb with shampoo or soap every so often too, to get rid of any junk on there that might be problematic. I stick scrunchies in the sink, etc. just to be safe.

The sorts of tips that you'll see here should at least help a bit. That, and just trying to see what your hair likes, what works for you. Some people can't use sulfate in shampoo or dimethicone in conditioner, and other people need lots of both. I like rinsing with apple cider vinegar, and using aloe or honey mixed with my conditioner. Some people add a drop of oil to their shampoo or conditioner. Leave in conditioner or oil can help with dryness and tangles, too. Either way, have fun, and enjoy the process. Your hair is gorgeous! Enjoy it! If you can't do a french braid: use barettes, or a clip, twist your hair, and then do an english braid or something else for the time being. I don't think I could manage those awesome braids myself. Man, now I really want to! Awesome pics!!!

Is there anything better than slathering on conditioner and treating yourself and your hair?

[my2cats1]

My hair does the same thing at times, but an occasional wash clarifying and chelating shampoo solves the problem. I use Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo or Matrix Alternate Action shampoo at times (the later is for chelating -- I live in an area with very hard water.)

Sleeping on a silk pillowcase might help, too.

[shaluwm_agape]

one thing that I can say is that fish oil whether in supplements or in oil form helped my hair with slippage tremendously. IDK your lifestyle or dietary needs but if they comply you could try that. maybe also try stretching washes even further? even if its just a day the more natural oils your hair produces the better

[moniee]

I seem to get frustrated with my hair every few months similar to what you are going through. I remember plenty of times trying to do pigtail French braids and my arms getting so tired and I would end up in tears out of frustration. All I can say is practice and be patient. Start out with just a single French braid, try putting some oil on the ends to help them from tangling when you braid, after all it will be in a braid no one will see it is oily, it will just look shinny and pretty. Once you can master one French braid then try to do pigtail French braids. I like to wear just pigtail English braids, they are way easier then French braids. I was initially worried they look too childish but then I thought I don't care, I would rather have an easy comfortable way to wear my hair then worry about other people's thoughts. A single side braid is another easy style that is quick and looks put together and protective. Also around waist length I discovered Lilla Rose hair toys. I got a few Flexi clips and some hair sticks. The Flexi clips are a figure 8 with a stick attached, that seems to be the easiest for me to use, I am still learning with the hair sticks, My hair seems to want to slip out of those. The only bun I have mastered is the lazy wrap bun. It is always going to be a learning process and at different stages in your hair growth journey one style might work out better then others. Some night's I will just spend hours watching youtube tutorials and trying to do my hair at the same time as them. Good Luck!

This is EXACTLY me! Even the dreaded braided pigtails, those were the cause of my tears o frustration as well! Yes I guess a big factor is going to be skill as well. Maybe I just have to put up with having semi decent semi crap hairstyles a few days until it gets better? Thanks for your comment!


You seem to be getting a ton of great tips here! I think my hair is highly porous because of the way it absorbs conditioner, water, and hair goos so quickly. Then, it'll go from wet, to curly, to dry/frizzy crazy fast. Other people may find their hair is low porosity. Instead of hair conditioner, water, and serums, etc. just soaking into the hair, it tends to sit on top of the hair. They have a hard time getting moisture, etc. into the hair. Build up happens faster with this kind of hair. Since you are using products with dimethicone, etc. in it, it wouldn't hurt to use a shampoo called "clarifying" every so often. (2 weeks to a month, maybe?) followed by a deep condition or hair mask. I like to use SMT sometimes, also. (There is a recipe on here, somewhere. It means to mix a cone free conditioner with honey and aloe vera, and let sit on your hair for a while to moisturize it. I love doing this - my hair turns out so soft!) Any time my hair gets greasy fast, tangly, etc. I do this and it seems to help. Oiling my hair also works. Some people with fine hair love using coconut oil on their hair. I use olive oil, and I put it on for 30 minutes before I shampoo, or even overnight. It helps me tons, too. This may be a weird tip, but I try to wash my hair brush and comb with shampoo or soap every so often too, to get rid of any junk on there that might be problematic. I stick scrunchies in the sink, etc. just to be safe.

The sorts of tips that you'll see here should at least help a bit. That, and just trying to see what your hair likes, what works for you. Some people can't use sulfate in shampoo or dimethicone in conditioner, and other people need lots of both. I like rinsing with apple cider vinegar, and using aloe or honey mixed with my conditioner. Some people add a drop of oil to their shampoo or conditioner. Leave in conditioner or oil can help with dryness and tangles, too. Either way, have fun, and enjoy the process. Your hair is gorgeous! Enjoy it! If you can't do a french braid: use barettes, or a clip, twist your hair, and then do an english braid or something else for the time being. I don't think I could manage those awesome braids myself. Man, now I really want to! Awesome pics!!!

Is there anything better than slathering on conditioner and treating yourself and your hair?


Yes, I got tons of good advice already! This place is amazing. I am giving a last chance of my almost hip length hair to be tamed, and I have high hopes now I found LHC!
I see thank oyu for explaining porousness. I think I am somewhere in the middle. My hair dries fast but not too fast, so I would say it's not too porous.
I am about to write a post here with the deep conditioning routine I've done after reading up on all the handy comments! I would say it's a bit time consuming and uncomfortable with my living conditions but that should change ina matter of weeks (Eeeeek!)



My hair does the same thing at times, but an occasional wash clarifying and chelating shampoo solves the problem. I use Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo or Matrix Alternate Action shampoo at times (the later is for chelating -- I live in an area with very hard water.)

Sleeping on a silk pillowcase might help, too.

Yes I am seeking for a clarifying shampoo at the moment I have access to in the UK. The overseas examples are not available here :(


one thing that I can say is that fish oil whether in supplements or in oil form helped my hair with slippage tremendously. IDK your lifestyle or dietary needs but if they comply you could try that. maybe also try stretching washes even further? even if its just a day the more natural oils your hair produces the better

I don't think I should stretch washes any further as I sometimes have around 12 days in between! I am trying out a cheaper argan oil mixture today so am really excited to see results! Will detail it in my following post! But this oil sounds great so thanks for recommending!

[moniee]

Okay ladies (and gents), thank you ever so much for your many great tips and tricks and for taking the time and writing to me. Highly appreciate it!! :)

Today I tried my best and done probably my first ever serious hair treatment in my life.

This is what I've done:

- washed my hair throughout with my existing shampoo, ends included (attempt at clarifying until I get a decent clarifying shampoo)
- put conditioner on all my length and left for 8 mins or so until I took a shower, then rinsed it off
- toweld dried hair and put in my John Frieda deep conditioner (pic below) and wrapped it in a plastic bag, heated it with a hairdryer a bit and covered witha warm towel. Left for 35 mins
- rinsed off in shower and after hair was John free I did an apple cider vinegar wash (1l warm water plus 3tbsp ACV) and left it on my hair for a minute or so then washed out (not too much but decently washed out)
- applied 4 drops of argan oil mix into my towel dried wet hair, mostly the ends and less and less on my lengths as I went upwards

Now we wait. Fingers crossed!

Pics:

John Frieda:

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/70/08/28/700828703da9f52742d736c0d3cca5ab.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/db/a5/0d/dba50d8b94a5a0340a527963099173cf.jpg


Argan oil mix (probably has like 0.2% argan oil as it was £1)

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/da/c2/d4/dac2d438c1ce085e2344418864ae7709.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a6/8e/6e/a68e6ed73509fddb65a47a8d3202c3e6.jpg

[Flowerness]

Good luck with your hair treatment! Sounds like you'll be having soft hair later on! Now, I have some hair inspiration to add some honey, or oil, or something to my conditioner when I wash my hair next!