At my wits end! (Never ending splits)

[MissSplit]

Hi everyone!
Just a warning this is a rather long post (unfortunately theres no real way to shorten it) but anyone who could give me help it would be extremely, extremely appreciated.
Okay so where to begin.
I’m 24, naturally ash blonde with thick, wavy textured hair. I unfortunately have a lot of box dye history but I’ll try to only mention it where its relevant. Okay, so this time last year I was a box dye redhead, my hair probably reached mid chest but was very thin and frail. I was getting frustrated with the lack of growth but first I wanted to go back to blonde. I stripped my hair and landed at an auburn colour (no big deal) but went to the hair dresser to get my first cut in years. Surprise surprise, I’m told theres so much damage its going to need to be cut A LOT. So I walked out with a collarbone length cut (anyone who is trying to grow their hair long can probably relate to how devastating that is).
Anyways this past 12 months I have been making a slow but finally successful journey back to blonde and am now sitting at a balayage with dark roots, and have been making it my mission to get regular cuts every 6-8 weeks. It took me maybe 4-5 dyes (done over 12 months and by professionals) however the most heart breaking thing is
My hair will not stop splitting.
A few days after every cut I will observe my hair to see splits forming, a week or so later I will see breakage points in my hair that weren’t there before.
I would also like to point out that in the past year my hair has grown maybe a max of two inches in length (definitely thicker though).
Now before anyone says it, I do NOT heat style my hair unless it’s the occasional event. I probably style my hair maybe 5-10 times a year. I do not use a blow dryer and let my hair naturally dry.
I leave coconut oil in my hair over night for a treatment and have used so many hair dresser recommended treatments and “miracle treatments” I just sadly laugh when I see them now.
I have been using a silk pillowcase for maybe two weeks but this has been ineffective.
I put different hair oils (such as argan oil) in my hair but its only a temporary fix.
I can only now put it two maybe 1 of 3 things.


Water intake, unfortunately I’ve been a bit slack with my H20 intake but am trying to amend that now.
Diet – I am very active and quite healthy but I’m a bit slack with my fruit intake – has anyone tried to eat more fruit and seen a difference?
I have to wear my hair up for work – any ideas on how to do this with minimum damage?

I have also started taking Nature’s Way “Hair Skin and Nails” but its only been about a week and a half so no obvious change yet.
Guys I am desperate, I know that dye can do a lot of damage to your hair (but I’m sworn off it now) what I’m worried about is that I have numerous friends who (respectfully) don’t have very good diets and hair has grown a lot longer than mine in the same time frame but mine will not.
The top half of my hair is healthy but lower is dry and frazzled
I’m looking for anything or anyone who might have been or is in this situation before who has found something that can help!
All I want is long healthy hair :(

Thank you!

[spidermom]

All I can do is relate. When my hair was long, no matter what I tried, I always had thousands of split ends. It wasn't dyed, I didn't heat style, most of the time I air dried but sometimes blow-dried on warm, did deep conditioning treatments, on and on. I've been keeping it around collarbone length for the last year and really enjoying the fact that I can't pull it forward and look at the ends, so I don't know if they're split or not. Bliss!

[leayellena]

Have you tried keratin conditioners and shampoo? I am back to silicone hair mask for co-wash because it's the only way to make my hair manageable. I could do a braided bun (it's actually the elling woman) even though it's raining outside (!). Tell me again about fine wavy frizzy hair :o

[MusicalSpoons]

Honestly, it seems some people have hair more prone to splitting than others - in another thread somebody likened it to how some people's nails seem to be naturally much stronger than others. If you happen to be one of those people with more split-prone hair, then the dye damage will be exceptionally unhelpful! You being sworn off dye now can only be a good thing, but with the average growth rate of half an inch post month, you're looking at 6" of healthy, virgin roots in a year's time.

There will be others who can advise you how best to baby your hair while the dye grows out, but the things you are doing now will have the biggest impact on your new growth, not the old, fragile dyed hair (especially if each dye was a full head, not just roots). I would advise persevering with the silk pillowcase too, by the way - whether it makes a difference to your lengths or not, the healthy growth will no doubt thank you for it :)

Hair-friendly styles are LHC's speciality! :D I don't know what your options are if your hair isn't much past collarbone length, though there must be a thread or two around for shorter hairstyles somewhere here :flower:

Edit: links!
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=123749&page=30
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=144124

I was certain there were more, but there'll be some ideas in there for you anyway :)

[nycelle]

Have you tried the WCC method?

I tried it for the first time Saturday night. I hated the way my hair looked at first, (won't scrunch next time though), and it felt heavy. But it's now 3 days later and my hair is still conditioned, with smooth ends.
The real test were these last couple of days. I was checking how much breakage I was getting after wide tooth combing- it's less than I get with just a shampoo/condition method.. Also, my hair is no oilier on the 3rd day than it is with my normal routine.

Wash day is tomorrow and I was going to change it up a bit, but I think I'm gonna stick to this routine for the next month and see what happens.
So it's: shampoo/conditioner/deep conditioning hair mask.

[Glitch]

Wow your story is exactly my story! Even down to 'didn't cut for years' and the collarbone haircut, straggly ends, all the dyes etc. Don't worry, I managed to fix it and I'm sure you will too. If it helps, here is a post (http://glitch-lhc.tumblr.com) I made for a different thread (the password is trims). Those aren't even the worst photos over the years... it was bad! Anyway, what saved my hair was basically purchasing hair scissors at a drugstore, and trimming small amounts very often, like every other week. It thickened up my hair drastically, and would keep the split ends under control before they would get a chance to go crazy. After a year, my hair was finally restored. I know it had everything to do with my own trims, as I didn't even quit heat styling until a month ago. You'll figure it out :)

As a side note, I don't have the best diet so that didn't effect me either since there weren't any changes. Same with vitamins, I didn't routinely take any. Oh, and I suggest to cut out the dyeing as soon as possible, it's incredibly drying. I remember I dyed my hair back to its original color and then didn't touch it again. Best of luck!

[nicolezoie]

For what it's worth, my hair is quite brittle, and portions of it took way longer to grow out because of that.

Try brushing your hair from the back forwards.. meaning, your first 'swipe' should go down the back of your skull, then eventually to the front. It seems to detangle the front in the process, and produces far less mechanical damage than starting around your face.

My hair is equally happy with cones and without cones, and the same about protein products. It was how I handled my hair that made the difference.

Some people have hair that gets split at the ends, but the splits do not travel up the strand (feathering, I call it), therefore length is gained even with a split at the end.

[spitfire511]

Welcome Miss Split :)

You'll probably hear the same thing several ways here. (And now are hearing it from a relative old-timer around here who only lurks usually!)

You can't un-do damage - and even the trims/cut are still on damaged hair, so they're going to be more prone to breakage. (I know - not what anyone is hoping to hear) Many of us have been there in the past and you can get absolutely back to good healthy LONG hair, there's just no real substitute for time!

It's also difficult to compare your progress to friends - I know people who heat style daily and have longer and better shape hair than I do. And people who baby it and seem to have a terminal length of BSL because that's just their hair. Try to ignore the friends hair if you can and focus on what's best for YOU! :)

All the folks here have given good advice! I keep a pair of good hair cutting scissors and do a S&D (search and destroy) occasionally when my hair is this way - nipping off just the damaged pieces. Protective styles when you're at collarbone are difficult but not impossible! I used to use a clip similar to a ficcare to at least do a little twist up. Anything like that (barrette or safe clip) is better than a pony with elastic! And the SL to APL thread here usually has some great up do ideas!

Personally, my hair generally HATES protein and that will make it snap and break badly. It feels like straw, so coconut oil that works so well for many is a terrible choice for me, but the only way to know what works is to try. I will say most of the 'miracle cure' treatments salons have given me were full of protein and actually made my hair worse - so looking for some really moisturizing methods through the forums here CWC or WCC and LOC might be a good starting place!

:hugs: and good luck on the journey! Hanging around here with people who have amazing hair and habits always helped me stay on track!

[lithostoic]

I never had more splits then when I was going to the hairdresser for haircuts. I think it's the technique they use. I do mine at home now and hardly see splits despite heavily bleach damaged ends.

[trolleypup]

Hard to argue with accumulated damage giving your hair the tendency to split. Even with coarse sturdy hair, 10 years of accumulated damage from everything means that I can sit can S&D almost indefinitely.

[lapushka]

I think it's not going to stop until all the damage is out of your hair. You could join the microtrimming thread, this way you won't be sacrificing much length; together with S&D, this should make a good start.

Unfortunately there is no such thing as a "quick fix". Growing hair takes *years* and it's paired with a lot of patience in getting the hair to a healthy point.

[victorian girl]

Welcome :) I'm a bit suspicious of heat styling your hair up to 10 times a year (so it's once a month or once in two months). Considering what heat styling actually does (it works with temperatures that are just boiling your hair like... like pasta), even doing it once can be very damaging if your hair is naturally quite fragile - especially if you're trying to grow it. I know it's not fair that some people can't do it even occasionally without causing damage, but everyone is different and sometimes you have to choose between long hair and fashionable hair. As to wearing it up (you know, that you should do it not only at work, but as often as you can, don't you?) - I personally love scrunchies and claw clips:crush: Try to stay away from bobby pins, they aren't good for fragile hair. Hope it was helpful, I wish your hair all the health and growth!

[daisychain]

I have similar issues. I have fine, thick hair that splits like crazy. Don’t heat style often, haven’t colored it in 5 years, still so many splits. My sister on the other hand regularly dyes her hair, and her hair grows twice as fast as mine. I think some people are just prone to having split prone hair, unfortunately :( I’ve started washing my hair twice a week, deep conditioniner, shampoo, conditioner, leave in conditioner, bunning at night, and on nights that I didn’t wash, putting in an argan oil before I bun. I’ve been doing this for a couple of weeks now, and my ends don’t feel as dry as they used to, so hopefully this helps me some.

Still can’t get over FaceTiming my sister and seeing her hair almost as long as mine is now (just past BSL), when 6 months ago it was shoulder length. I’d probably trade her my tanning genes for her hair growing genes, lol.

[enting]

Time, with caring for it, is the only real answer to having healthy hair, you can't really heal the ends. All of the good habits you're doing are really good for the new hair growing in, but they can't turn back time on the damaged parts. If you're seeing that the roots look better, that's proof that what you're doing will be good for your hair in the long run, don't give up on them yet!

You can mask the damage by babying it, giving it oil or protein, whichever it seems to like better (or both). Be really gentle when detangling. Silicones may also be useful for the damaged ends if your hair doesn't hate 'cones.

I definitely agree with S&Ding with sharp scissors. I don't know about your hair, but my hair gets splits from everything under the sun, even metal-free hair elastics. I only used to heat style my hair once a year and yet that did damage. You say you're using coconut oil. That sounds good to me, but you may wish to experiment with other oils just in case a different one helps more.

I'll also point out that gaining two inches while getting frequent trims at the hairdresser is quite the accomplishment! Your growth rate might be pretty fast in that case. That means less time to wait out growing out damage.

I'm sorry I don't have advice for you on how to put it up safely, I don't know what styles would be good for your length. I should think claw clips or combs would be safe tools to use to put it up.

[MissSplit]

You guys are incredible!! This is the most helpful information I've ever received.
I definitely have done S&D before but will look into it more regularly now! My only problem is I can't reach some of my under layer because its too short :(
but the rest I can handle!
Thank you so much guys :) :love: :love:

[LadyLongLocks]

Just wear the damaged hair up as much as you can. A hard lesson learned but one you will never repeat. Now you can look forward to healthier hair down the road. Just be patient and never give up. It WILL happen.

[cjk]

While I agree that caring for your hair and preventing further damage is the ultimate solution, you have splits now.

A quick search turned up minimal information but I've seen mention of a topical gelatin treatment sometimes called lamination. It bonds particularly well to the damaged portions and supposedly restores, though patches is probably more accurate, the condition of the hair.

Have you considered something like that?

I'm relatively new to this community but it seems like a proactive way to address the problem and prevent it from worsening, immediately.

Seriously considering this treatment for my beard, in fact. Also plagued with splits.