I'm scared of hair dressers & want to cut my own hair..

[krispie]

Hey y'all,
so I have had this issue honestly since 2016... and that is that I'm terrified of hair dressers! Almost every single one I've been to chops off too much, and partially it's my fault because I'm too scared to say anything..

So I had this really terrible experience with a hair dresser who had a problem with me and I don't even know why..
This was December 2016, right before Christmas...
I was with my dad and I wanted to trim my hair which I had been trying to grow out for so long since I have had a big chop in January of 2016 (Got my waist lenght hair chopped to shoulders). It was at bra strap lenght, I was so happy it was because it was a really big step for me, no longer shoulder lenght... I thought:boohoo:
So we went into this place where he always had his hair cut when he was a kid, so I was kinda excited.

We walk in and this lady greets us, and honestly she didn't give me a good first impression right from the start... I don't know why.

All I wanted was a little trim, and she said okay so I let her wash my hair and it was really greasy because I had been travelling so I couldn't wash it. She was mumbling some words and I could hear she said "Oh my gosh, it's so freaking greasy..." and then when she started to brush it out and blow dry it she was saying "Oh, it's so terrible.. your hair is too greasy" and things like that & that didn't make me feel really good about myself but I didn't say anything..

Anyways she asked how much I wanted to trim and I said just a little bit, because I had it trimmed just 2 months before so it didn't really have split ends! But she said that with hair like mine I should have it at shoulder lenght, and my dad stepped in and said that she should do what she thought was best for me, and I was so pissed I didn't say anything once again... I now look back and regret this :rolleyes: I think it was my 14 year old hormones taking over me :bigeyes: :crazyq:

This experience left me kind of scared of hairdressers, and I would like to have more control of my hair now that I have discovered this lovely website! :D I'm so grateful that this community exists, and that people are so nice and not judging on here! :)

Anyways, has something like this ever happened to you before ? & could you give me any tips about trimming my own hair ?
Thanks in advance! :) (I hope this was easy for y'all to read and to understand, I'm not an native english speaker & this story was really long)

[cjk]

That would definitely be traumatic. Sorry to hear that this happened.

Are you an adult now? If so, you get to choose.

First, trust yourself. Trust your feelings. You described having a bad feeling in your gut. That should have told you everything you needed to know. Trust your feelings.

But be open to hairdressers. If it feels right.

Don't live your life in fear just because of one bad experience years ago. If you want a haircut, get your hair cut. Make sure it a positive experience. Make it enjoyable.

[chomsky]

I think most of us here have a bad hairdresser story! I know I can relate! :flowers:

Do you have anyone that you trust to trim your hair for you, if you're really too scared? You can shop around for a stylist if you're able.

I'd say look at quite a few different methods and see which one would be easiest for you, act out the process without cutting the hair. Then you can see if you can hold the hair in such and such a way and so on.

When you're ready to trim, start very very small. You can always take more, you can't add. Use proper hair shears and familiarise yourself with what an inch looks like, 1cm etc.

More importantly, be confident about the cut! If you go in scared you won't do as well.

Good luck!

:blossom:

[Groovy Granny]

So sorry to hear that....many of us have had the same or similar experiences....myself included.

Many use and love feye's method http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

Others (and moi) use the 'under the chin method; a snug ponytail under the chin, run your fingers down the tail, then snip the tip = slight U. Easy peasy :thumbsup:

Just take a little off at a time until you are comfortable....you have 100% control....no charge...when you want it!

[CrowningGlory]

As has already been said, others of us have had this experience. I had a hairdresser hold up my tailbone length hair and say "You don't need these ends" as she cut across them and I sat there in utter disbelief. I went to just below BSL that day.

Now I trim my own hair or get my husband to do it. I also like the ponytail under the chin method. I think I look upwards when I do this and hardly get a U at all. There are articles and videos for trimming. Have a look online and do a practice run first as someone suggested.

I see that you're 15 so you're probably still under your parents' roof and may not be able to purchase hair scissors or make decisions about your hair as easily as you'd like. If you do have the means to get yourself a pair of hair cutting scissors, do so. I bought mine at a pharmacy and they were probably around $20. I know that some countries have stores where you can purchase a lot of beauty products relatively inexpensively. Worth looking for. And only use your scissors for hair.

It can be tough when you're still at home and parents have different views on how your hair should look (been there). Try and respect their wishes but also respectfully tell them what you want. Try and reach a compromise if you can. Believe me, 18 will come around soon enough and then you can make your own decisions about hair.

And please don't trust your friends to trim your hair. I've heard almost as many bad friend trimming stories as I have bad hairdresser trimming stories.

[Morada]

Sorry you had that experience. I actually trim my own hair. I used to have a shorter cut when I was younger. But for the last twenty years I have been trimming myself. I don't have bad hairdresser stories, I just don't feel like taking the time to make an appointment.

[Chromis]

I was coming ovr to link Feye's self trim as well. My biggest caveat will be that you will indeed want to use a dedicated pair of haircutting shears for this. They don't need to be super fancy, but they do need to not be used on paper and such because that will dull them. Using regular scissors will give you split ends.

Aside from that, learn fun ways to put you hair up and keep it up around your parents if they are likely to make a lot of comments about your your hair needing to be cut. Out of sight, out of mind! Also, this will help keep it healthy and undamaged and I personally find learning new buns and updos really fun and satisfying.

[krispie]

As has already been said, others of us have had this experience. I had a hairdresser hold up my tailbone length hair and say "You don't need these ends" as she cut across them and I sat there in utter disbelief. I went to just below BSL that day.

Now I trim my own hair or get my husband to do it. I also like the ponytail under the chin method. I think I look upwards when I do this and hardly get a U at all. There are articles and videos for trimming. Have a look online and do a practice run first as someone suggested.

I see that you're 15 so you're probably still under your parents' roof and may not be able to purchase hair scissors or make decisions about your hair as easily as you'd like. If you do have the means to get yourself a pair of hair cutting scissors, do so. I bought mine at a pharmacy and they were probably around $20. I know that some countries have stores where you can purchase a lot of beauty products relatively inexpensively. Worth looking for. And only use your scissors for hair.

It can be tough when you're still at home and parents have different views on how your hair should look (been there). Try and respect their wishes but also respectfully tell them what you want. Try and reach a compromise if you can. Believe me, 18 will come around soon enough and then you can make your own decisions about hair.

And please don't trust your friends to trim your hair. I've heard almost as many bad friend trimming stories as I have bad hairdresser trimming stories.

I actually own a hair cutting scissor, but I'm also afraid I will cause split ends if I do something wrong.. could that actually happen ?

[krispie]

I think most of us here have a bad hairdresser story! I know I can relate! :flowers:

Do you have anyone that you trust to trim your hair for you, if you're really too scared? You can shop around for a stylist if you're able.

I'd say look at quite a few different methods and see which one would be easiest for you, act out the process without cutting the hair. Then you can see if you can hold the hair in such and such a way and so on.

When you're ready to trim, start very very small. You can always take more, you can't add. Use proper hair shears and familiarise yourself with what an inch looks like, 1cm etc.

More importantly, be confident about the cut! If you go in scared you won't do as well.

Good luck!

:blossom:

Well, my sister is in fact a hair dresser but she lives far away and I'm only at her house in the summer.. I guess I could ask her to trim it for me in the summer but I'd rather prefer just to be able to do it whenever I want it :) And I guess I have enough time to look for methods I like and such since I have commited to the no trim challenge this year, but as soon as 2019 starts I'm going to be trimming! :D

[Nenyath]

I actually own a hair cutting scissor, but I'm also afraid I will cause split ends if I do something wrong.. could that actually happen ?

I'm sorry you had that experience, Krispie, and I hope it will be the last time. I just saw your avatar, you have beautiful hair. Have you talked with your parents about wanting long hair? If you can reach some sort of length agreement, then it will be easier to get their support at the hair dresser in the future.

I'm no expert, but I can't think of any way trimming your own hair could cut split ends, not unless the scissors are dull. Your English is very good, by the way, and I should know, I'm an English teacher ;)

[lapushka]

When I was 15, I cut my hair all sorts of styles. My mom had this "trimming guide" from a woman's magazine in the 70s that she had kept. It was a "trend" apparently to then cut the hair. I split it into 2 sides, held it out to the sides (totally in the middle, horizontally) in 2 ponytails, one on either side and cut it. That gave me cute shaggy layers.

And don't worry about your English, it is totally fine. My mother tongue isn't English either (I learned it in school & further education).

[Caraid♫]

Not only was she not respecting your wishes, it sounds like she was being really not nice, that sucks, I'm sorry that happened!
I would definitely try out cutting your own hair! You said you were afraid you might do it wrong and cause split ends- I wouldn't worry about that if you are using sharp hair cutting scissors that's not going to happen =) What could go wrong is the cut itself (uneven, or taking off too much length) But there are some very good and very simple tutorials out there to teach you how :)
Like others have mentioned, I cut mine using "feye's method." My favourite youtube tutorial of this method is by a user called habioku, if you search that on youtube you'll find it :D

It's great to have control over your own hair, and another bonus is you will save a lot of money! It costs a lot to get a hair cut!

ETA here is the video I use: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9Erf49Eyxc

[krispie]

I'm sorry you had that experience, Krispie, and I hope it will be the last time. I just saw your avatar, you have beautiful hair. Have you talked with your parents about wanting long hair? If you can reach some sort of length agreement, then it will be easier to get their support at the hair dresser in the future.

I'm no expert, but I can't think of any way trimming your own hair could cut split ends, not unless the scissors are dull. Your English is very good, by the way, and I should know, I'm an English teacher ;)

Thank you so much :) My parents don't really care about what I do with my hair as long as I don't dye or bleach it in any way, they like it long :D

[Flowerness]

Hearing negative hairdresser stories is so hard. It makes me want to give everyone a hug! I've had difficulty getting haircuts for years, for similar-ish reasons. I get anxious and uncomfortable. Then, one day, I decided to cut my own hair, and I discovered that I found it really fun! Sure, sometimes I didn't like the way that it came out, but I would experiment! And, if I didn't like it, I could always change it whenever I had the time and energy. It was free! So, I tried layers, different lengths, bangs, and angled/tapered edges at the front. Because I was learning-both what I liked and how to do it- I could change it, as I went. Doing it the first time was hardest because I stressed myself out, but that is all my fault. It was so much easier than I gave credit for! Look at the instructions, videos, and maybe even Facetime with your sister for help the first time you do it if you are so inclined! Good luck and have fun!

PS: I'm now down to the 5 minute monthly trim. (Mostly because I keep double checking to see if it is even.) It is easy once you get the hang of it. Now I even cut my Mom's hair!

[Nenyath]

Thank you so much :) My parents don't really care about what I do with my hair as long as I don't dye or bleach it in any way, they like it long :D

Hey, that's good news! Means you should be able to take control of your own hair cuts with no problem! They will even save the money for hair dressers! :p Good luck with it and have fun!

[enting]

Yes you can trim your hair yourself! I didn't start trimming my own hair for the longest time because I was so afraid I would mess it up. Then I tried once but with no proper instruction - I combed it out in front of me and cut straight across. I wound up with a very deep V that I hadn't wanted! I didn't understand how to cut it the way I wanted back then. Then I spent a few years having my friend trim my hair (after seeing her skills on her friend's hair) or going to hairdressers. I finally got up the guts to do it myself after joining TLHC, and I am so glad I did. I can fix split ends any time by S&Ding or trimming. I am no longer torn between getting fresh ends but risking the loss of many inches.

If your scissors are dull or you are not careful to cut across the hair and not diagonally, you may run the risk of creating split ends. However, once you gain the confidence to trim your own hair, you can do a dusting if you see splits starting. If the issue was being careful while cutting, you can learn to be more careful and the dusting will take care of any bad cutting method damage from the time before. If the issue was scissor sharpness, you can buy sharper scissors and fix the damage yourself, too, all without risking the loss of many inches to a scissor happy stylist.

Somehow even if I accidentally take too much off it doesn't bother me as much as if a stylist did it to me. I enjoy being in control of what happens to my hair.

[shaluwm_agape]

I say go for it! I have not been to a hair dresser since last April. My hair is still too short for me to do it but my fiance does it and it honestly saves sooo much $$$

[maegalcarwen]

Just do it yourself! I have been trimming my own hair since 2014 - wow! :D

Feye`s trimming methods work well, or you can watch youtube videos, work out what works best for your texture. I see yours is 1B, its very suitable for Feye`s methods! :) If you are a little intimidated, have a friend over to check the back or help a little. Good luck! :)

[Jo Ann]

Krispie, you CAN trim it yourself! Just remember--you can always take off more and a little goes a long way! You can pretty much estimate 1/4-1/2 inch (1-2 cm)--most of the time, that's all you'll need :) It's better to trim LESS than you want, than to trim MORE than you want. Go with the lesser amount first, always! If it's not enough, you can always trim a little more :flowers:

That *ahem!* hairdresser wasn't worthy of the name. Like stated above--go with your gut. Remember--she gets paid to give you what YOU want, NOT what SHE thinks you need; YOU have to live with how well (or poorly) SHE does HER job--SHE couldn't care less what you look like, as long as SHE gets paid. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself, especially if you're being treated in a negative or unpleasant way, even (or especially) if you have a parent in attendance. Don't be afraid to say "No." If your Dad takes you there again, and she's there, either go with a different hairdresser or tell them both "Thanks, but no thanks"--and politely but firmly explain why. You told her what you wanted and she neither listened or delivered. It's your hair :blossom:

Been there, done that, hated it.