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Hairkay
February 16th, 2018, 11:22 AM
A friend has been telling the comments she's had over talking about my hair having grown. Apparently that's dismissed as me having the time to care for hair. Only thing is that I keep things simple. I don't devote hours to my head. I, condition, detangle/comb it once a week, style it and that's it. Hair gets rinsed as part of my daily bath/shower. Usually it's people who have time to book salon appointments then spend time to have their hair done for them. It's possible that their time is similar to mine or more than mine. I'm getting a little irritated of this excuse. I would never spend hours sitting letting a hairdresser cut/straighten and style my hair. Then have to restyle it daily.:mad:

Beckstar
February 16th, 2018, 12:38 PM
So is this people saying they don't have the time to grow their hair out? And that the only reason yours look great is because you have oodles of hours to spend on it?

Sarahlabyrinth
February 16th, 2018, 12:46 PM
I think she means that people think she must spend a lot of time on her hair because it is long and long hair "must" take many hours to look after. It must take a lot of time to do styles and updos etc.

Decoy24601
February 16th, 2018, 01:11 PM
I find that excuse hilarious. The main reason my hair is this long is due to benign neglect and a *lack* of time spent on my hair :rolleyes:.

MsMegMmk
February 16th, 2018, 01:15 PM
I've never understood the idea that you need time to grow hair when all you do is let time pass. Growing healthy hair is often about what you DON'T do to your hair rather than what you do.

MusicalSpoons
February 16th, 2018, 01:20 PM
It most likely all stems from ignorance and assumptions. Hairkay do you know if it's mainly because your hair is curly, natural, and/or long? To be completely honest, when I first started learning about more natural haircare, reading about detangling tightly curly hair, pre-pooing, co-washing, all the other products afterwards and protective styling seemed like a whole rigmarole; I couldn't imagine having to do that every time washing one's hair and actually I felt relieved I had 'easy' straight hair. *But that was when I was ignorant* Now I know better - yes, some people's routines might be like that, but they don't tend to wash their hair more than once a week, and because it is routine they just get on with it. Plus, of course, spending more time on here I've learned that many longhairs (with hair of all types) actually have pretty simple routines anyway, once they've worked out what's best for their hair.

I do understand the frustration of misperceptions! I think the only productive way to counter it is with education - perhaps by simply saying "you'd think so, but actually it only takes me [x amount of time] each day/week". The people making those comments may well spend longer washing and styling their hair every day or two! But because it's part of their daily routine they don't think about it - plus of course the salon visits. You could even ask, with a smile(!), "why, how long does your hair take?" and look all innocent. [Muahaha]

I used to have people always saying things like, 'it must take ages to wash your hair' or 'it must take forever to dry' when actually, really really not. (Incidentally washing now takes me slightly longer because I'm more careful, but nobody really sees my length so I very rarely get that kind of comment any more.)

lithostoic
February 16th, 2018, 03:46 PM
It literally grows by itself lmao. I spend practically zero time on my hair other than washing.

Haruna
February 16th, 2018, 03:53 PM
I think people overestimate how much time longhairs actually spend on their hair, especially outside of this forum. A lot of the time, short hair is MORE maintenence. (Not true for me, but often for others.) All you have to do is not cut it, and shampoo and condition like you normally do lol. Brushing and washing might take a little longer, but other than that it's identical unless you wanna get fancy...

chomsky
February 16th, 2018, 04:15 PM
I find that excuse hilarious. The main reason my hair is this long is due to benign neglect and a *lack* of time spent on my hair :rolleyes:.

Exactly! I don't have the time to do all this fancy stuff to my hair anymore. No frequent straightening, colouring, blowdrying, anything! That's why having it longer is more convenient time-wise right now. It's easier to bun, braid and just throw up and keep of of the way in general. My hair takes less time now than it did when it was at my shoulders because it could be a pain putting it up.

Especially curly hair, gosh people think I do so much with it because of the length. If I had the time and did a lot with it it wouldn't be in the same style 99% of the time. Yes, there are some girls that take two days (!) to wash their hair, no I'm not one of them. And no I will not spend an hour styling a "wash and go", I don't have that luxury, haha. :rolleyes:

jera
February 16th, 2018, 04:25 PM
Actually, long hair is much easier for me than short hair was. I wash it, condition it, wrap it in a towel while I eat breakfast to let the conditioner sink in, rinse, part and let the air dry it and go. Simple.

Chromis
February 16th, 2018, 04:52 PM
I find people do not really wish to be educated on this. It is more a "must be nice" kind of petty comment and not really worth rebuttal.

lapushka
February 16th, 2018, 05:19 PM
What a "friend". I would ask her to please explain to you why she has been making such comments. You don't need to justify yourself to her, please remember that.

Chromis
February 16th, 2018, 06:23 PM
What a "friend". I would ask her to please explain to you why she has been making such comments. You don't need to justify yourself to her, please remember that.

I don't think it is the friend herself making the comments. More like her friend was talking to other people and mentioning the OP's hair and the other people were making the comments.

*Wednesday*
February 16th, 2018, 07:03 PM
I recently watched this video, she's natural and had TBL hair. I say "had" because apparently, she had some tragedy with a hair gel and had some hair breakage. This is her wash routine she does every two weeks I believe she states in the video. The reason I mention her is because people would look at her hair and think, "Oh my God, that is so much hair and looks like it takes a lot to do." She has a pretty fluid routine. Once you have this, the skill, you get the speed...and she does a twist out.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUQ9Uztf5U8

TheLuckyLurker
February 16th, 2018, 07:11 PM
I find people do not really wish to be educated on this. It is more a "must be nice" kind of petty comment and not really worth rebuttal.

This is exactly it, and people do it with literally anything, especially if it's something they might want to do, but don't. I've seen people that do meal-prep relay tales of coworkers reacting to the homemade lunch they bring in with a) "it must be nice to have enough time/money to cook all that food" or b) implications that the meal-preper thinks they're "too good" to "just buy a sandwich like the rest of us". Implying that somebody's wasting time or money on something they like is a good way to make them feel bad; I've seen people here call that "tall poppy syndrome".

Robi-Bird
February 16th, 2018, 07:17 PM
My hair takes a fraction of the effort long than it did short, and it takes less as it grows. My hair short meant washing every day, and getting it cut every three weeks. My hair long gets snipped about once a year at this point, and is washed, conditioned, and either braided with some product or plopped to dry. Once it's dry it's in and out of buns as desired, and bunning it takes me under a minute, probably only 20 seconds. Mind you many if not most of the people with short lengths I know blow dry or straighten or curl their hair every day and they think I do that at my length. Heh, no.

Groovy Granny
February 16th, 2018, 10:40 PM
My hair takes less care and time being long.... then when it was short!

I had to wash it almost daily, blow dry it, and then use a hot brush to curl/smooth it.
To say nothing about all the extra products I used to HOLD the style....only to end up having bad hair days because of wind/weather/no time to shampoo :doh:

I wash it 1-2x/week now, and after a quick wet brush detangle, I throw it up in a fun style and forget about it.
If the wind takes it, it is redone in seconds; same with styling...if somethings isn't working there are many other options :shrug:

Hairkay
February 17th, 2018, 05:29 AM
So is this people saying they don't have the time to grow their hair out? And that the only reason yours look great is because you have oodles of hours to spend on it?
Yes, that is their assumptions.

I find that excuse hilarious. The main reason my hair is this long is due to benign neglect and a *lack* of time spent on my hair :rolleyes:.

Exactly I'm more into benign neglect.


I've never understood the idea that you need time to grow hair when all you do is let time pass. Growing healthy hair is often about what you DON'T do to your hair rather than what you do.

Yes, I keep things simple and leave my hair to grow in its own time without too much manipulation.


It most likely all stems from ignorance and assumptions. Hairkay do you know if it's mainly because your hair is curly, natural, and/or long? To be completely honest, when I first started learning about more natural haircare, reading about detangling tightly curly hair, pre-pooing, co-washing, all the other products afterwards and protective styling seemed like a whole rigmarole; I couldn't imagine having to do that every time washing one's hair and actually I felt relieved I had 'easy' straight hair. *But that was when I was ignorant* Now I know better - yes, some people's routines might be like that, but they don't tend to wash their hair more than once a week, and because it is routine they just get on with it. Plus, of course, spending more time on here I've learned that many longhairs (with hair of all types) actually have pretty simple routines anyway, once they've worked out what's best for their hair.

I do understand the frustration of misperceptions! I think the only productive way to counter it is with education - perhaps by simply saying "you'd think so, but actually it only takes me [x amount of time] each day/week". The people making those comments may well spend longer washing and styling their hair every day or two! But because it's part of their daily routine they don't think about it - plus of course the salon visits. You could even ask, with a smile(!), "why, how long does your hair take?" and look all innocent. [Muahaha]

I used to have people always saying things like, 'it must take ages to wash your hair' or 'it must take forever to dry' when actually, really really not. (Incidentally washing now takes me slightly longer because I'm more careful, but nobody really sees my length so I very rarely get that kind of comment any more.)

I too have seen some show those long routines and take all day or more just to wash and condition hair then more hours to style it. Only I don't live that life and I don't think that's necessary. It's a choice. The most that I have done is to use henna glosses and even so I'm not spending all night doing that. Plus it's not something I'll even do ever week or every month. It's 2-4 times a year so it's occasionally.

I'm not there talking to the people who have made these comments at the time. Heck one of them isn't even in this country the UK. They said it to my friend who relayed to me later. My friend was talking about my hair because it stuck at one length for many years until I changed things by not using the doc recommended concoction because it was not working and the docs were shrugging their shoulders as to what else I could use. I also changed from daily styling to once a week styling, introduced DIY hair mask once a week and put my hair up in low manipulation styling. That's it.

lapushka
February 17th, 2018, 07:29 AM
I don't think it is the friend herself making the comments. More like her friend was talking to other people and mentioning the OP's hair and the other people were making the comments.

Oh, then I must have misinterpreted. The sentence got weird on me at some point, and hard to understand.

lucid
February 17th, 2018, 07:43 AM
My hair was easier to deal with when it was shoulder to mid back lengt. I never got tangles then, it dried quicker and so on. I refuse to think I'm the only one that experience more issues with longer hair :p

Anyway, I have 1a hair, so it's easy even when it's long. If it's "super tangled" it takes 10-15 min tops to detangle..

To say that the amount of work one has to put in ones hair is equal for everyone is ignorant. It varies greatly with hairtype. My friends has super thick hair that is curly, wavy and straight, and she has to put it much more work that I have to, just because of her hair type.

cjk
February 17th, 2018, 09:32 AM
...you have time to do your hair.

No. You MAKE time to do your hair. We all make time for what we want to do. Some people make time to work out. Some to cook. Some read. Some build model airplanes.

And this not like it takes that much time, anyway, once you get your routine down.

lapushka
February 17th, 2018, 09:33 AM
Gosh, I used to get my hair permed because curls were so much easier to deal with (for me). This wavy mess is all over the place. But yeah, it's my hair and I'm keeping it. LOL!

Hairkay
February 17th, 2018, 03:15 PM
I find people do not really wish to be educated on this. It is more a "must be nice" kind of petty comment and not really worth rebuttal.


This is exactly it, and people do it with literally anything, especially if it's something they might want to do, but don't. I've seen people that do meal-prep relay tales of coworkers reacting to the homemade lunch they bring in with a) "it must be nice to have enough time/money to cook all that food" or b) implications that the meal-preper thinks they're "too good" to "just buy a sandwich like the rest of us". Implying that somebody's wasting time or money on something they like is a good way to make them feel bad; I've seen people here call that "tall poppy syndrome".


...you have time to do your hair.

No. You MAKE time to do your hair. We all make time for what we want to do. Some people make time to work out. Some to cook. Some read. Some build model airplanes.

And this not like it takes that much time, anyway, once you get your routine down.

Chromis, The LuckyLurker and cjk, you all make some good points.

Hairkay
February 17th, 2018, 03:31 PM
I recently watched this video, she's natural and had TBL hair. I say "had" because apparently, she had some tragedy with a hair gel and had some hair breakage. This is her wash routine she does every two weeks I believe she states in the video. The reason I mention her is because people would look at her hair and think, "Oh my God, that is so much hair and looks like it takes a lot to do." She has a pretty fluid routine. Once you have this, the skill, you get the speed...and she does a twist out.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUQ9Uztf5U8

I put this one is a separate posts because it takes up a lot of space. Yes the more you deal with your hair you can work out more convenient efficient time saving ways. I too wash my hair plaited/braided or twisted which save a lot of time. I just wash, t-shirt dry and twist my plaits up in a bun and go. That's it for weekdays. That can take around 15-20 minutes. I'll just swap to washing in the evening if the mornings get too cold.

This hair issue in the video could have been avoided. Gels are best used to slick hair back into one or two or clumping curls in wash and gos. Smaller plaits/braids itself is enough to hold the hair in place no styler is necessary. It's just that with the pushing of products for every single thing we've become used to expecting absolute perfection at all times. She used it in an attempt to reduce frizz. Freshly twisted hair that has been freshly washed shouldn't have that much frizz ( the nature of tight curls and kinks taken in account). In time all plaits/braids or twists will get frizzy. These stylers are an attempt to prolong the freshly done hair look. What she got was maximum "hold" that matted her hair together so when she wanted to undo the twists she had locs forming.

Rustam
February 18th, 2018, 06:29 PM
We all make time for what we want to do.

I agree with this sentiment completely. My hair probably takes 20 minutes more out of my day on a normal day than when I had it short, but I make time for it and don't even notice any more.

Caraid♫
February 18th, 2018, 07:19 PM
Haha I suspect some people love to play the "who's the busiest" contest and like to give side-eye to someone with a schedule that allows time for "silly" things like styling your hair! even if it is inaccurate and that you don't necessarily need to spend tons of to grown your hair, so what if you spend "time" on it? No shame in wanted to spend a little extra care on your hair if it makes you feel good! :D

pailin
February 18th, 2018, 09:24 PM
I think you've got it exactly, Caraid- people wanting everyone to know how busy they are.

Caraid♫
February 19th, 2018, 06:36 AM
I think you've got it exactly, Caraid- people wanting everyone to know how busy they are.

it's a pervasive attitude! I myself hate when people ask how my weekend was, and I dont have an impressive list of important things I accomplished to tell them about (because in reality I spent the weekend watching TV or something) haha!

Don't let people make you feel bad for having time to take care of your hair! :blossom:

*Wednesday*
February 19th, 2018, 08:16 AM
I put this one is a separate posts because it takes up a lot of space. Yes the more you deal with your hair you can work out more convenient efficient time saving ways. I too wash my hair plaited/braided or twisted which save a lot of time. I just wash, t-shirt dry and twist my plaits up in a bun and go. That's it for weekdays. That can take around 15-20 minutes. I'll just swap to washing in the evening if the mornings get too cold.

This hair issue in the video could have been avoided. Gels are best used to slick hair back into one or two or clumping curls in wash and gos. Smaller plaits/braids itself is enough to hold the hair in place no styler is necessary. It's just that with the pushing of products for every single thing we've become used to expecting absolute perfection at all times. She used it in an attempt to reduce frizz. Freshly twisted hair that has been freshly washed shouldn't have that much frizz ( the nature of tight curls and kinks taken in account). In time all plaits/braids or twists will get frizzy. These stylers are an attempt to prolong the freshly done hair look. What she got was maximum "hold" that matted her hair together so when she wanted to undo the twists she had locs forming.

That was unfortunate for her to have this happen. She was natural 7 years and I suppose didn't know what to do when her hair was locked up. A gentleman responded to her and advised her to use "Indian Ghee." I believe he made his own but that product is very greasy and could have saved more of her hair by creating a lot of slip. She still has a lot of hair but saved more of her length.

curlily
February 19th, 2018, 10:08 AM
Thereís absolutely nothing wrong with making time to care for your hair. In fact, itís an important and basic part of self care. Taking care of yourself is what it means to be an adult.

It sounds like your friend(s) are projecting some of their own issues and insecurities onto you. Donít let em get to you. You do you, girl!

nycelle
February 19th, 2018, 10:20 AM
Funny, they have no time for their hair, but they time to make petty comments.. :rolleyes: They would go on real life "ignore list."

Regarding the girl in the video who had to cut her hair. I do feel for her, but I also feel for any young girl who saw that first video and followed her routine. Hoping they didn't get the same results.

Mega Moose
February 19th, 2018, 10:59 AM
I find that some things about my hair take more time to do than they used to, like washing a stuff. But I only wash 1-2 times a week instead of every day to get product out, I can throw it in a braid in a minute instead of having to fiddle with it till it's just right every morning, so on the whole my hair takes less time than it used to.

Kikyou
February 23rd, 2018, 06:07 PM
I've heard that so many times... From plain and neutral question "how long does it take", through mildly irritating assumption "wow, you must have a lot of time to do your hair", to even offensive and insensive "it's easy for you to spend a lot of time doing hair because you don't have kids yet".

While the truth is, I can throw my hair up in a pretty bun in 3 minutes, including brushing. When my hair was short, I was fingting with it for hours and couldn't get it decent (my hair resists heat styling).

Wavybrunetteuk
February 23rd, 2018, 08:19 PM
I really want to add my two cents to this discussion... I've only had this kind of comment a few times, but they were really positive, like "you did your hair this morning (curly hair down)" and "did you style your hair?", "how did you do your hair?", "did you get a perm?" (bearing in mind I live and work in China, most people around me have naturally 2a hair)

And my reaction is simply "no, it's natural", and then they are shocked. That's all.

Before I started the curly girl method and joined LHC, I used to spend 10 minutes blow drying my hair at night, sleeping on it, then wake up and straighten it, only for it to become frizzy again later. All that time spent for what?

Now, yes I use more hair products, and spend more time washing my hair, it takes a few hours to air dry... BUT I wash my hair every 3 days now, never go to the hair salon and whilst it air dries, I won't touch my hair again and I'll go study or do something else and in the end, I have wavy hair which barely frizzes anymore.

So for me the result is the most important.

Wavybrunetteuk
February 23rd, 2018, 08:22 PM
I meant most people around me have 1a hair

spirals
February 23rd, 2018, 09:39 PM
Haha I suspect some people love to play the "who's the busiest" contest and like to give side-eye to someone with a schedule that allows time for "silly" things like styling your hair! even if it is inaccurate and that you don't necessarily need to spend tons of to grown your hair, so what if you spend "time" on it? No shame in wanted to spend a little extra care on your hair if it makes you feel good! :D

EXACTLY. It's the one-upping game. I get flack for being single and not having kids. My response to people like that:
sorry you made that choice, but I'm not gonna apologize for my freedom!

Wavybrunetteuk
February 23rd, 2018, 09:58 PM
EXACTLY. It's the one-upping game. I get flack for being single and not having kids. My response to people like that: sorry you made that choice, but I'm not gonna apologize for my freedom!Couldn't agree more

lapushka
February 24th, 2018, 03:49 AM
I think you have to make the distinction between some "innocent" comments from people who really don't know that long hair can take less effort than normal for someone and the really mean jealous-type comments that come from a different place. Sometimes it gets kind of hard to distinguish between the two, but most times I know that it comes from a good place (a good heart). And honestly, some people genuinely don't know anything about the care for long hair and they just wrongly assume, more hair, more issues.

Sometimes though, you *can* tell that people are just being catty. :(

Stray_mind
February 24th, 2018, 03:54 AM
It's interesting how people's mind works sometimes. People think if one has long hair, they must spend Hours washing it,combing it, putting various products in it, going to salons...
While they do Exactly the same thing with their short(er) hair....

Caraid♫
February 24th, 2018, 07:56 AM
EXACTLY. It's the one-upping game. I get flack for being single and not having kids. My response to people like that:
sorry you made that choice, but I'm not gonna apologize for my freedom!

totally, having free time is definitely a blessing to enjoy, nothing to be given flack about! I've recently cut back in how much I work (also no kids) and I'm loving having the extra time to do things like swimming, reading, caring about my hair again haha- no shame! At first I felt guilty, but I was miserable when I had one too many jobs (I do part-time work at many places)

Caraid♫
February 24th, 2018, 08:00 AM
I think you have to make the distinction between some "innocent" comments from people who really don't know that long hair can take less effort than normal for someone and the really mean jealous-type comments that come from a different place. Sometimes it gets kind of hard to distinguish between the two, but most times I know that it comes from a good place (a good heart). And honestly, some people genuinely don't know anything about the care for long hair and they just wrongly assume, more hair, more issues.

Sometimes though, you *can* tell that people are just being catty. :(

I also agree with this :) often comments are just curiosity/ pure chitchat or trying to make conversation and aren't trying to place judgement by their observations, one can tell more by tone and context and previous history with the person and all that

lapushka
February 24th, 2018, 08:15 AM
I also agree with this :) often comments are just curiosity/ pure chitchat or trying to make conversation and aren't trying to place judgement by their observations, one can tell more by tone and context and previous history with the person and all that

Yes exactly, you have to know the person for this. I always wear my hair up, so people can't tell my hair is that long, so yeah... only my close family members know, and they also know it takes less care because they know me and I've told them what I do to it (just wash weekly and 15 seconds per day and it's out of my way, no fuss). I'm not about to discuss this with total strangers, for obvious reasons. And sometimes yeah, people just "assume". Oh well. :shrug:

lottiealice
February 24th, 2018, 01:16 PM
I suppose I do have time to 'do my hair' as all I do is keep it in two plaits, apply monistat and aloe vera gel daily (which takes about 5 minutes) and only wash once a week.

lottiealice
February 24th, 2018, 01:17 PM
To be fair though, my hair is still short (just about BSL).

lapushka
February 24th, 2018, 01:44 PM
To be fair though, my hair is still short (just about BSL).

That length already matters. For me at least, BSL became a pivotal length. Silicone-free stopped largely working for me at that length (with the WT comb it did, but now with the Wet Brush (dupe), I can use whatever conditioner and it is fine whereas tangles go).

AutobotsAttack
February 24th, 2018, 01:49 PM
Man. I’m not sure where to start on comments such as this.

I’d agree with many of the ladies on here about it being okay to spend time on your hair, and I’d also agree with ladies on here, that I too, don’t spend much time on my hair.

Hair type plays a role as well. Looking at that one video Wednesday posted, I still find that routine to be a bit much. Even for it being done every two weeks. Only because with all that time between washing, I feel like the shed hairs have an ample amount of time to really cause some monstrous tangles.

When I was natural, and when my hair was shorter (the longest I reached natural was around MBL), my wash days were a breeze. I would detangle with a large denman brush, deep condition, rinse, apply leave ins and bun. That was it. I’ve noticed in the natural hair movement, occasionally it seems like a competition to see who’s regimen is the most complicated or “intricate”. Same with relaxed hair ladies as well. I think it’s just excitement and wanting to try new techniques and products all at one time. But that’s a bit beside the point.

With my hair being relaxed, I do have to be a great deal more gentle and patient, but even at this length, it’s extremely easy, and I wash very frequently. Either every day or every other day. The detangling process is the only part where I have to slow down quite a bit.

I think it gets a bit tedious when you start trying to style it differently everyday as well. Twist outs, braids, ponytails, wigs, buns, other protective styles, etc.

I usually will wear two or three buns that are my favorite day in and day out. So there’s that.

lapushka
February 24th, 2018, 02:13 PM
Next time someone says, "you have time to do your hair", maybe reply, "and you now have time to shut up before I get angry." - just came to me. I'm fed up sometimes with comments such as these. Some of them really don't come from a good place and deserve this kind of answer.

Hairkay
February 25th, 2018, 04:45 AM
I think you have to make the distinction between some "innocent" comments from people who really don't know that long hair can take less effort than normal for someone and the really mean jealous-type comments that come from a different place. Sometimes it gets kind of hard to distinguish between the two, but most times I know that it comes from a good place (a good heart). And honestly, some people genuinely don't know anything about the care for long hair and they just wrongly assume, more hair, more issues.

Sometimes though, you *can* tell that people are just being catty. :(

Good point.


It's interesting how people's mind works sometimes. People think if one has long hair, they must spend Hours washing it,combing it, putting various products in it, going to salons...
While they do Exactly the same thing with their short(er) hair....

Yes, I know for a fact that my older sister spends much more time on her hair that she keeps permed and cut short. Going to the hairdressers that specialise in type 3 and 4 hair can mean at least a whole day spent on that. Half of that time is waiting for the hairdresser to get around to calling for you.


To be fair though, my hair is still short (just about BSL).

When my hair was that length there would still be some who made that comment.


Man. Iím not sure where to start on comments such as this.

Iíd agree with many of the ladies on here about it being okay to spend time on your hair, and Iíd also agree with ladies on here, that I too, donít spend much time on my hair.

Hair type plays a role as well. Looking at that one video Wednesday posted, I still find that routine to be a bit much. Even for it being done every two weeks. Only because with all that time between washing, I feel like the shed hairs have an ample amount of time to really cause some monstrous tangles.

When I was natural, and when my hair was shorter (the longest I reached natural was around MBL), my wash days were a breeze. I would detangle with a large denman brush, deep condition, rinse, apply leave ins and bun. That was it. Iíve noticed in the natural hair movement, occasionally it seems like a competition to see whoís regimen is the most complicated or ďintricateĒ. Same with relaxed hair ladies as well. I think itís just excitement and wanting to try new techniques and products all at one time. But thatís a bit beside the point.

With my hair being relaxed, I do have to be a great deal more gentle and patient, but even at this length, itís extremely easy, and I wash very frequently. Either every day or every other day. The detangling process is the only part where I have to slow down quite a bit.

I think it gets a bit tedious when you start trying to style it differently everyday as well. Twist outs, braids, ponytails, wigs, buns, other protective styles, etc.

I usually will wear two or three buns that are my favorite day in and day out. So thereís that.

It's some sort of competition to see how complicated your hair regimen can get. Add to that those that do many blowouts taking up to 4 hours each then flat ironing add more hours. I however always kept things simple. I know finger detangling my thick hair can take a few hours if I leave it loose all the time and don't manage it in sections. I just preempt that from happening by managing my hair in sections and keeping it as detangled as possible in plaits/braids or twists. If I'm busy I don't replait/rebraid all my hair in one go. I can do half, go off and do whatever I need to do then come back later and finish off the rest. I also work with chunky plaits/braids because it's less time to do and it suits my hair curl pattern. I also stopped styling daily years ago due to health reasons and found that this suits me best. I'm a once a week styler.

Garnetgem
February 25th, 2018, 07:26 AM
I have had many a comment like it must take ages to wash/dry comb and must take all day to wash..i was once told "I don't know why you bother making your hair nice with a disability" and according to many because of a disability i should cut it short so as to have less work by spending less time on it..these are the type of people who more or less live at the hair dressers maintaining a short style..i simply say nothing now i don't see why i need to respond to such comments.

MusicalSpoons
February 25th, 2018, 07:59 AM
I have had many a comment like it must take ages to wash/dry comb and must take all day to wash..i was once told "I don't know why you bother making your hair nice with a disability" and according to many because of a disability i should cut it short so as to have less work by spending less time on it..these are the type of people who more or less live at the hair dressers maintaining a short style..i simply say nothing now i don't see why i need to respond to such comments.

:steam:steam:steam:justy::brickwall

I've heard of worse ableism but to even relate the two (hair/disability) is just mind-bogglingly incomprehensible. I'm sorry you've had that kind of comment. Aiyaiyai :brickwall

lapushka
February 25th, 2018, 08:15 AM
I have had many a comment like it must take ages to wash/dry comb and must take all day to wash..i was once told "I don't know why you bother making your hair nice with a disability" and according to many because of a disability i should cut it short so as to have less work by spending less time on it..these are the type of people who more or less live at the hair dressers maintaining a short style..i simply say nothing now i don't see why i need to respond to such comments.

My grandfather (passed now) took care of my grandmother (passed now) after she'd had a major stroke that left her paralyzed on one side. She had to have her hair done weekly, but he had the hairdresser razor it off. My grandma's girls (esp. my mom) were *horrified*. She immediately told my granddad that he should not have done that to her, and that she would take the care of her mom's hair over from now on. He just had to let her know he needed the help. She had just assumed that he would have let a hairdresser come to the house (which he did, but he wanted less fuss and he didn't want her in his house weekly apparently).

I have a disability and my mom helps me with my hair weekly too. But the rest of the week, I just have to swish it up, takes all of 15 seconds, and it's up and out of my way. So that's fair and doable for me and her. If we would not do it this way, and I would keep my hair short, she would have to come style it 2 to 3 times a week. That's insane.

Hairkay
February 25th, 2018, 12:50 PM
I've had a friend ask for advice over what I use in my hair. I told her. I mentioned a short cut buying ready made fruit puree for conditioning hair masks. I told her where I got it too. It seems she went shopping and said she couldn't find it. I then sent a picture of the to her so she could recognise them. Next thing she says she will make her own hair masks and asks for shampoo substitutes. I chatted about vinegar rinses and gave her two other options, soapnuts(aritha also know as soapberries no relation to the nut family) and oatwater expecting her to make one choice if she wished. She tells me she's allergic to nuts and that she hasn't got time for all of the things I mentioned. I'm a little peeved. She can choose whatever she likes to do using my advice or not but why must she mention that she hasn't the time for these things when she asked in the first place?:mad:

AutobotsAttack
February 26th, 2018, 02:34 PM
Good point.



Yes, I know for a fact that my older sister spends much more time on her hair that she keeps permed and cut short. Going to the hairdressers that specialise in type 3 and 4 hair can mean at least a whole day spent on that. Half of that time is waiting for the hairdresser to get around to calling for you.



When my hair was that length there would still be some who made that comment.



It's some sort of competition to see how complicated your hair regimen can get. Add to that those that do many blowouts taking up to 4 hours each then flat ironing add more hours. I however always kept things simple. I know finger detangling my thick hair can take a few hours if I leave it loose all the time and don't manage it in sections. I just preempt that from happening by managing my hair in sections and keeping it as detangled as possible in plaits/braids or twists. If I'm busy I don't replait/rebraid all my hair in one go. I can do half, go off and do whatever I need to do then come back later and finish off the rest. I also work with chunky plaits/braids because it's less time to do and it suits my hair curl pattern. I also stopped styling daily years ago due to health reasons and found that this suits me best. I'm a once a week styler.

Agreed. And with your simplicity your hair has grown to amazing lengths. Simple is better. :)

*Wednesday*
February 26th, 2018, 02:40 PM
Hair type plays a role as well. Looking at that one video Wednesday posted, I still find that routine to be a bit much. Even for it being done every two weeks. Only because with all that time between washing, I feel like the shed hairs have an ample amount of time to really cause some monstrous tangles

Iím not sure how she manages between washes regarding detangling or if she only detangles on wash day. At the time of that video, she had ďfullĒ tailbone length hair and that routine worked as far as her gaining length and length retention. She based her routine on what worked for her. It may be much, but was productive. As I mentioned in a previous post and the gel, is where she deviated not keeping to what works. The fruit of her labor produced that magnificent hair. She said she has T4F hair, and is very coarse. She may need that ďextraĒ to keep it the way she did.

Aredhel
February 26th, 2018, 03:32 PM
I find that excuse hilarious. The main reason my hair is this long is due to benign neglect and a *lack* of time spent on my hair :rolleyes:.

I'm with you on this. I keep my hair long because I can't be arsed to visit a salon every month for several hours to keep my hair nicely trimmed and pretty. :rolleyes:

Of all of my self-pampering (eyelashes, nails, toes, etc....), my hair is the one thing that I spend the absolute least amount of time and money on... (hair toys don't count, do they? :p)

MusicalSpoons
February 27th, 2018, 06:05 AM
I'm with you on this. I keep my hair long because I can't be arsed to visit a salon every month for several hours to keep my hair nicely trimmed and pretty. :rolleyes:

Of all of my self-pampering (eyelashes, nails, toes, etc....), my hair is the one thing that I spend the absolute least amount of time and money on... (hair toys don't count, do they? :p)

Having just today learned the kind of time and money involved in maintaining salon-cut and coloured hair, I'm inclined to think most hairtoys, purchased once in a while, really don't count!

Ligeia Noire
February 27th, 2018, 06:30 AM
I get asked that A LOT and I know people just have no idea because they have no one else in their family or immediate circles with hair longer than bsl...
Therefore, they instantly assume that I wake up at 5am to get ready and leave the house at 9am. They always look shocked when I tell them it takes me 5 to 10 minutes tops. And I even made a video about it. But it's just like Lapushka said people just have no clue. However, if that comment comes with criticism then I might say it takes me ten years every morning.

spirals
February 27th, 2018, 11:11 PM
Having just today learned the kind of time and money involved in maintaining salon-cut and coloured hair, I'm inclined to think most hairtoys, purchased once in a while, really don't count!

Exactly. Even if I do a sort of complicated 'do it doesn't take as long as it did to wrangle my curly layers. And I used to go to the salon 2 or 3 times a year. Now I trim my own hair.

MoonRabbit
February 28th, 2018, 12:04 PM
My hair was easier to deal with when it was shoulder to mid back lengt. I never got tangles then, it dried quicker and so on. I refuse to think I'm the only one that experience more issues with longer hair :p

Anyway, I have 1a hair, so it's easy even when it's long. If it's "super tangled" it takes 10-15 min tops to detangle..

To say that the amount of work one has to put in ones hair is equal for everyone is ignorant. It varies greatly with hairtype. My friends has super thick hair that is curly, wavy and straight, and she has to put it much more work that I have to, just because of her hair type.

I was also beginning to think I was the only one to feel that longer hair has more issues!