Don't know if she's getting my business.

[pittsburgpam]

So, I've reached knee length and think it's time to cut it back. I've just lost 20 lbs and plan to lose about 50 more and it's time for a change. My daughter recommended her daughter's (my granddaughter) boyfriend's mother, who is a hairdresser. I called her a couple days ago and we talked for a few minutes. I said that I wanted highlights to more incorporate the gray that's growing in but I wasn't sure about the cut I wanted, that I hadn't had a haircut in about 10 years. She said "Is it to your ankles?" and laughed. I said it's to my knees. She was shocked and she asked me to send pictures. I sent 3 pictures, all in different lights, to show the variability of the color and length. She text back, "How much are you wanting to cut off and donate to the cancer society?"

Yeah... ok. I didn't answer her as I didn't want to get snarky and you know what they say: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. A day later she sends, "???" So I guess she really wanted a reply to that throwaway comment. I replied, "I only want it cut to mid back, maybe waist. Not drastic." She hasn't replied and I'm really not feeling good about that comment. I got that cringing feeling like when I wear it down almost always someone is going to comment, "Your hair is so long! You should donate it!" Just stop.

[Margarita]

One person's hair is his/her own business and do whatever he/she wants. You have amazing hair, since you're a grandmother, i dont know your age but truly your hair is amazing. I wouldnt donate my hair because in my view, its pointless even if its to be donated to people with cancer.(call me cold-hearted or whatever you want, i dont care). Do not cut your hair, keep it in that lenght, its lovely. And dont listen to jealous people, they want what they cannot have :)

[nycelle]

So, I've reached knee length and think it's time to cut it back. I've just lost 20 lbs and plan to lose about 50 more and it's time for a change. My daughter recommended her daughter's (my granddaughter) boyfriend's mother, who is a hairdresser. I called her a couple days ago and we talked for a few minutes. I said that I wanted highlights to more incorporate the gray that's growing in but I wasn't sure about the cut I wanted, that I hadn't had a haircut in about 10 years. She said "Is it to your ankles?" and laughed. I said it's to my knees. She was shocked and she asked me to send pictures. I sent 3 pictures, all in different lights, to show the variability of the color and length. She text back, "How much are you wanting to cut off and donate to the cancer society?"

Yeah... ok. I didn't answer her as I didn't want to get snarky and you know what they say: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. A day later she sends, "???" So I guess she really wanted a reply to that throwaway comment. I replied, "I only want it cut to mid back, maybe waist. Not drastic." She hasn't replied and I'm really not feeling good about that comment. I got that cringing feeling like when I wear it down almost always someone is going to comment, "Your hair is so long! You should donate it!" Just stop.

First, your hair is gorgeous!!

But like you, I don't understand why she made any assumption about what you're going to do with it? Maybe your granddaughter said something? But if not, I'd be annoyed at the comment as well.

Also, I don't think I'd want anyone that has any type of relation with a close family member, cutting my hair. Unless of course I knew their work and liked it.
If it goes bad, there could be animosity, and who needs that when your granddaughter is dating her son.

Maybe it's just best to go to someone you know cuts and colors hair well. Also, I've found that for the most part, stylists are usually better at one or the other, rarely do they do both very well. So I used to have one that only did color (she was amazing), and another that cut. That might also be your best bet, at least initially.

[Obsidian]

I'd find someone else to go to. If she does text back again, either tell her the truth that the donation comment upset you and you'd rather go somewhere else or say you've decided to wait awhile.

[jennareid]

Ask her when she's going to donate a kidney, since she only needs one.

[JennGalt]

I'd go somewhere else. Never let someone who thinks it's ok to make decisions for your hair (e.g. donating it) anywhere near your hair with scissors. They usually have strange ideas about what constitutes an inch or a centimeter or what "waist length" is.

[Nightshade]

Ask her when she's going to donate a kidney, since she only needs one.

My response to people like that is "I'm working on my 8th gallon of donated blood. How about you?"

[RadioactiveLily]

Firstly, your hair is so pretty!

I agree with everyone else. It is probably a bad idea to use this hairdresser- find someone who appreciates long hair! They do exist. I've been lucky to have one who is respectful of my hair. She usually comments on how healthy it is, and asks me what I want first instead of suggesting things to her own taste. Good luck to you finding a good hairdresser match!

Nycelle has a good point about about using people connected to family too. If they are in no way connected to you, it's much easier to insist on what you want or cut your losses if it goes bad.

[lapushka]

Yeah... NO! Don't go to her, please. The blatant assumption really rubs me the wrong way. Just find someone you won't start fighting with for the sake of your granddaughter. Hair is not worth the animosity and there already might be some now.

Just find someone else.

[*Wednesday*]

I'd go somewhere else. Never let someone who thinks it's ok to make decisions for your hair (e.g. donating it) anywhere near your hair with scissors. They usually have strange ideas about what constitutes an inch or a centimeter or what "waist length" is.

I second that. To add you have beautiful hair.

[DweamGoiL]

I wouldn't even justify that with a snarky comment; doing so will only feed her well established and very self-righteous moral supremacy complex. I would just let it die down (particularly since there is some family ties involved). However, if she still insisted on inquiring, I would inform her that her comment was very unprofessional and does nothing to promote her services or business in a positive light. I would rather go to someone who will not project their moral views onto what I should decide to do with my hair and respect me by not making these types of assumptions. I would simply end it with too bad it did not work out and take care.

[Glitch]

Jeez... how rude of her. Maybe she assumed that’s why you wanted to cut it after 10 years, but there are far better ways of finding out people’s intentions regarding their hair. Maybe she even felt jealous of it? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t go there. I already feel some tension with her lack of reply in the end. Because of her relationship to you, I would just politely say that I actually want to think about it more, and not contact her again.

[Chromis]

She sounds pushy by texting you again even if she weren't also making strange assumptions. For that alone I would say no.

[AmaryllisRed]

Because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, I would probably try to find out if somewhere along the grapevine she had been misinformed about you donating.
But if it was her assumption... yeah there are lots of stylists in the sea. ;)

[Groovy Granny]

With her mindset, I wouldn't trust her to cut what YOU want off....seeing how they usually take more than you ask anyway :p
By her replies ....this gal thinks yours is way too long..... and will not be short enough at the length you mentioned = RED FLAGS :tmi:
I'd shop around until I found a good fit; you have too much gorgeous hair to risk getting hacked.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Well, I don't think she would be getting MY business after a comment like that.....What a shame to cut such beautiful rare hair... but it's yours, so you must do what you feel is best for you :) Here's to you getting just the length you want!

[Alex Lou]

Why are only long-haired people expected to donate hair to charity? Why doesn't everyone else grow their hair for years without bleaching or abusing it and then cut and donate it if they think that's the right thing to do. They could also donate the money they save on salon color treatments and cuts. Think of all the money that could be going to the cancer societies!

[chomsky]

Oh a new look, how exciting!

I wouldn't go to her, not just for the comment, but because of how close she is to the family. If there's any animosity there you'll have to see her again and again.

Shop around a bit, go to some consultations (they tend to be free here, or very cheap), and get a good feel for the stylist. For such a drastic change you want to be comfortable! :o

[lapushka]

I doubt there will be a lot of stylists that aren't going to go "Oh wow, I can go to town on that hair!" and that is what you need to be careful about. Which is why I wouldn't go to a stylist or consultation with my hair down. I would first at least like to talk about the length I want without them going *nuts* over my hair and thinking, just imagine what I can do with this hair.

It's how I would go about it. I would stress that hip to waist is the length I want, and then you might end up in that general area!

[Kat]

I doubt there will be a lot of stylists that aren't going to go "Oh wow, I can go to town on that hair!" and that is what you need to be careful about. Which is why I wouldn't go to a stylist or consultation with my hair down. I would first at least like to talk about the length I want without them going *nuts* over my hair and thinking, just imagine what I can do with this hair.
!

It wouldn't surprise me if they thought it... what to me is crossing the line is saying so out loud (or taking independent action).

[cjk]

Is she a beautician or a barber? Mindset and training make a difference. Beauticians tend to preserve length and arrange the hair attractively. Barbers cut the hair, sculpting it. I've never met a barber who didn't enjoy administering a severe chop, transformation cuts are a lot of fun.

As for the donation thing, keep in mind that you approached her about removing a significant length. Long hairs, particularly women with hair as long as yours, do not typically cut off significant length. If memory serves the required donation is 10" or more, which means that if you're removing at least that amount it would be reasonable for her to assume that you would be donating it.

As for her communication skills, they're obviously lackluster. But neither was wrong nor rude. The first round was basic contact, the second round was confirmation.

Most folks do not write a thesis as a text message.

Having said ALL of that, I propose that you should trust your gut. And your gut is saying to not let her anywhere near your hair.

[lapushka]

Is she a beautician or a barber? Mindset and training make a difference. Beauticians tend to preserve length and arrange the hair attractively. Barbers cut the hair, sculpting it. I've never met a barber who didn't enjoy administering a severe chop, transformation cuts are a lot of fun.

As for the donation thing, keep in mind that you approached her about removing a significant length. Long hairs, particularly women with hair as long as yours, do not typically cut off significant length. If memory serves the required donation is 10" or more, which means that if you're removing at least that amount it would be reasonable for her to assume that you would be donating it.

As for her communication skills, they're obviously lackluster. But neither was wrong nor rude. The first round was basic contact, the second round was confirmation.

Most folks do not write a thesis as a text message.

Having said ALL of that, I propose that you should trust your gut. And your gut is saying to not let her anywhere near your hair.

In my experience, it's the other way around. If you want a tiny trim, a barber is your best bet. They will cut what you ask, as they have no interest in "styling" you at all.

[Harini]

First off, your hair is gorgeous! :flower: I commend your discipline in growing it so long because I'm one of those people that gets antsy and does a major chop every couple years.

If you're not feeling right about going to her, trust that instinct. You don't want someone who won't respect your desire to maintain length or cut only what you request.

However, I personally don't think her comment was meant to be hurtful or rude. It's become very common for people to grow hair out and then jump to a pixie while donating all the growth. I see more people donating than I did even 10 years ago, although it's more than possible it just seems that way. It feels like that's just a trend she's seen and while she should have asked instead of assumed, again, I don't think her intention was to make you feel bad or to pressure you, etc.

[Crystawni]

pittsburgpam, I'd say the quivering of your Spidey senses tells you all you need to know.

[pittsburgpam]

Thanks all. I felt the comment was really off. Told my daughter I wasn't comfortable going to her and she got another stylist name from a friend that says she's great. I looked up the salon and spa and it has all 5-star reviews.

There is one more reason I want the ends cut off, to get rid of what was dyed with henna.

[Khristopher]

Thanks all. I felt the comment was really off. Told my daughter I wasn't comfortable going to her and she got another stylist name from a friend that says she's great. I looked up the salon and spa and it has all 5-star reviews.

There is one more reason I want the ends cut off, to get rid of what was dyed with henna.

That's great you found someone more approachable! The donation comment was off indeed. Please, take pics before you cut it! Knee lenght hair is impressive :crush: I hope you get the haircut you want, it's going to be soooo much lighter and manageable!

[VersLaLumière]

Wow. How incredibly rude. Personally I tend to let people know when I feel I've been offended or hurt, if they pursue further interaction with me. I think this can be done gently (but still directly) if words are carefully chosen.

In any case I would definitely not let this woman touch my hair. I'd tell her I've chosen to work with somebody else. Giving a reason isn't necessary if you don't want to. Unless you wanna go for something like "I prefer to work with someone who specializes in working with long hair, since many people seem to just assume long hair is supposed to be donated". Although I guess that might be a less gentle approach :cool:

[VersLaLumière]

Thanks all. I felt the comment was really off. Told my daughter I wasn't comfortable going to her and she got another stylist name from a friend that says she's great. I looked up the salon and spa and it has all 5-star reviews.

There is one more reason I want the ends cut off, to get rid of what was dyed with henna.

Oh I just saw this last post. I'm glad you found someone else !!