Help a dude with steel wool coarse hair?

[lawrencekazzazi]

Hi people,

I know this is a long hair forum, I've been scrolling through around this forum for some months now but decided to finally make an account to get some direct help because I'm desperate. I'm in my 20's, and my hair is in bad shape but has been so for the past 5 years I would say, I just didn't care to do anything about it until the past 6 months. I'll post some pictures of my hair (https://imgur.com/a/hyR6C), but to describe it, its really thick, coarse, wiry, etc. Sometimes when I don't cut my hair for a while it gets wavy towards the back of my head. When I cut a strand out of my head it is squiggly and does not break when stretched. https://imgur.com/1e4wdARhttps://imgur.com/1e4wdARSome of my good friends sometimes make fun of me saying it looks like pubic hair and steel wool :(. It's so bad when I jump into a swimming pool and come up from being submerged, my hair is still almost dry, no joke, my brother calls me waterproof head.

I have experimented many different routines and none have been helpful. I use "TIGI Urban Antidotes shampoo and conditioner Level 3." I honestly don't know if this is a good shampoo/conditioner. Regardless, I don't shampoo everyday but I am very active and go to the gym almost everyday. My current routine: I try to shampoo my hair at least 2 times a week, and condition for 3 other days, and then just wash with water for the other 2 days in the week. The only way to slightly tame my hair is to use some Jojoba Oil, which makes my hair more relaxed and way easier to handle. It becomes softer and smoother too, which makes me think my head just needs to be moisturized which my conditioner isn't doing correctly. I've done the SMT many times before, didn't really help. I don't use any type of product in my hair for styling and I don't style my hair because I just can't manage it. My hair used to be nice and smooth in middle school but just changed overtime, maybe because I was using Walmart shampoo for years and I would wash my hair every day with it.

If you give me any suggestions that would help me out that would be awesome, I'm willing to try anything to help my situation.

Thanks!

Pictures of Hair: https://imgur.com/a/hyR6C

[lapushka]

To me it looks like you might have texture to your hair. Does it wave or curl with added length, at all? Oh, yeah, you describe it as wavy, so there you go.

You could look into the "curly girl" method (of course it's for gentlemen too).

Shampoo & conditioner are just products.

Are you going to grow your hair at all, or is this the length you're sticking to?

I would condition EVERY TIME you shampoo; it is not a luxury with textured hair. So don't skip the conditioner every time.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I think your hair looks fine, but if you are unhappy with it I suggest taking Lapushka's advice. My ex had hair just like yours, very thick and wiry, but it didn't look bad at all.

Maybe your friends could be less free with their comments.

[Wildcat Diva]

I think your hair looks nice. To get a different result from your current routine, have you considered leaving in conditioner and adding oil over that? That helps me with retaining moisture and softness.

[Robi-Bird]

I think your hair looks good. Wirey hair is just going to be wirey. You can improve the slip and the feel but the texture of it is just a genetic thing. I inherited a coarse/wirey texture from my dad. My hair is much more manageable with conditioner and leave in conditioner or cream.

[Cg]

Two of my sons have very coarse stiff hair in some ways similar to yours. They condition after every wash, and one oils with olive oil also -- after every wash.

Your hair's texture is not going to change. You can take steps to make it feel a bit softer, but it's not going to drastically alter its natural characteristics. Frankly, I like your hair and see nothing remotely problematic with having it nearly dry after swimming. If you swim indoors in winter, that's actually an advantage when you go back out.

I don't believe your friends intend any hurt. Most likely they are just amazed by something they have no experience with. Try to remember they are simply ignorant and perhaps even envious, and don't know how to express themselves in diplomatic terms. You could help them along by offering positive word choices other than "steel wool": healthy, textured, rich, full, for starters.

[Nyrak]

I also think from the photos you posted that your hair looks nice.

I am a noob at hair care but if your hair doesn’t get wet easily doesn’t it mean you have low or no porosity hair?

I would search for deep conditioning treatments for that type of hair.

[trolleypup]

It looks like the hair that the genetic lottery has dealt you at this stage in your life (hair often changes in the teenage years). You can't change the coarseness or wiriness any more than you can change the color (i.e. continuous application of chemicals/treatments/expertise/time/money). You can treat it well and moderate it a bit. And you can make styling choices. Oh, and you can change your mental attitude about your hair. There is no routine that will give you soft smooth easily styled hair.

There are styles that might avoid the brillo pad, but they require much more length, and the awkward stages would be brutal to get there.

Good luck.

ps: it looks fine.

[melikai]

Welcome to the forum! (As a member, not lurker ;))

Your hair to me looks like it needs more moisture, and that you have some hidden wave or curl. From what you describe, it sounds like you have low-porosity hair, which is the opposite of mine, but I looked some things up which you could try:

- Try oiling before you shampoo, and try different oils such as olive oil.
- When you tried SMT's, did you add heat? You could try a deep conditioning treatment, then while it's on your hair wrap it up and heat it with a hair dryer if you have it. Or even just heat up the treatment and apply when it's still warm.
- For some more definition, you could try a lightweight gel like aloe vera or flaxseed gel.
- Your shampoo may be drying out your hair too much. You could try CO (conditioner-only) washes, or CWC (condition-wash-condition).

Hope this helps!

[Beeboo123]

I think you have nice hair- very thick and dense. I used to think I had wiry hair too, but then I learned that it was just wavy, and I had to learn to coax the waves out. I second melikai’s suggestions. What really helped my hair to appear softer was to apply oil before washing, and to wash with shampoos that do not foam (foaming substances are very harsh and drying), or to CO-wash. My hair looked better as it got longer, but my awkward stage lasted till waist-length. It was only past waist that the strands of hair had enough weight to weigh it down instead of frizzing and looking dry and wiry.