Newbie frustrated with my hair looking for advice. Thanks

[Rustam]

Hello all, I'm "Rustam." I've been lurking here for well over a year. I started reading the forum because the haircare advice here was far better than anything else I could find. I've managed to come up with a pretty good routine and I feel like my hair is in pretty good shape from a health stand point. I probably should have joined long ago but what has prompted me to join now is hoping to get some more personalized advice as I've been frustrated and a bit disillusioned lately.

My genes have ensured me a lot of hair, especially on my head. On here thick hair seems to be a popular thing, but for me it has been frustrating. It is getting pretty long now (not by the standards on here) and I was hoping it would get a bit easier to manage but I still find that it has tons of volume and thickness. I basically can't wear it loose which is a bit of a disappointment, and my attempt at messy bun is more of an unsustainable explosion which I don't care for. That leaves me with a ponytail which gets the job done from a practical standpoint but I don't know if I really like it much. I figure I'm probably stuck at this point for many months to come which has lead me to thinking about cutting it for a few weeks.



I feel conflicted about it and it's decision you can't really come back from so I figured I'd actually post on here and see if you had any advice on things. Thanks everyone.

Here's a picture of mostly daily appearance right now.
https://s9.postimg.org/rfr44pj27/9267394610.png

[ThrowNormanAway]

you look like youve got a very manageable silky texture, even with the thickness (which if I'm being honest, I wish I had for myself. it is gorgeous!). Have you considered braids? a single english braid at your nape could be very flattering, and add a bit of variety. You could also do french or dutch braids. if you run out of hair to hold well in a braid down your back, which is likely given your thickness, you can secure at the nape of your neck instead, leaving the remaining lengths as a ponytail. Both of these options will be flattering on the head, show your texture and thickness beautifully, and be comfortable for all day wear. whatever you do, don't cut purely because youre getting frustrated with the prospect of finding a style other than ponytails. I know you're in a different spot than most of the posters here in that you sound like you prefer a more masculine appearance, so maybe different twists and buns and other accessories are out of the question for you for now. But please stick around and keep growing :) as long as you can find happiness in your hair let it grow let it grow let it grow :)

[sumidha]

Holy cats you have a lot of nice looking hair!

With that thickness you probably wont be able to do a bun until BSL or maybe even waist length. I second a braid or french braid as an alternative to the daily pony tail. :)

[chiapommama]

I agree.don't cut it it's beautiful , nice and thick . You'll get some great advice here. I'm a newbie too and everyone's so friendly and helpful.

[akurah]

Have you considered thinning techniques? Layers, or perhaps an undercut?

The alternative is to wait for more length. With your thickness, a bun at your current length may not be especially easy to pull off.

[pailin]

You have gorgeous hair! I hope you don't feel like you have to cut it. It does look pretty thick. Bunning depends on thickness as well as length, so the thicker your hair, the longer it has to be to bun. I think at your current length, I was just beginning to be able to bun mine, and yours looks a bit thicker. So you may well need a few more inches for buns. In the meantime, the ponytail looks good, and you could try braiding- if you're not used to it, it is probably easier to learn now than when it gets longer. Ponytails get a bad rap around here because some people find they cause breakage and because as your hair gets longer, they don't protect much from tangling. But at your length, it can still be a great option. Just make sure your hairties don't have metal, and fatter ones are probably gentler.

[cjk]

Our textures are different but I feel like I'm looking at my own future.

Styles I expect to wear as mine continues to grow include a ponytail, a braid, a French braid, and a French twist.

You're trying to control it, fair enough. And please don't cut or thin it, that much hair makes for a spectacularly thick braid, the very thing so many envy.

But what are your desires, how do you want to look? A low bun at the nape actually looks great. Ditto for a lower ponytail. Think...downward.

And with your volume I'd suggest masculine hair accessories, perhaps a nice leather stick barrette.

[ThrowNormanAway]

Have you considered thinning techniques? Layers, or perhaps an undercut?

The alternative is to wait for more length. With your thickness, a bun at your current length may not be especially easy to pull off.

Thinning and layers could be a disaster (haha pardon the overstatement) for hair this thick and silky unless he likes to wear it down or, well, in ponytails or half ups. In my younger years of 4.5"+ thickness, layers definitely made styles extremely difficult and length helped more than anything else. even simple braids became impossible and i was stuck with ponytails again til it grew out. its difficult waiting it out but if its something he already wants for himself (length I mean) then i think thinning or layers could work against him here.

[ThrowNormanAway]

also wanted to add a few more ideas for styles... pull-through bun, half-up with partial pull-through bun..

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Beautiful hair..... You could try making a frame bun. You divide the hair in two parts as if you are making a half up. With one half of the hair you make a bun and with the other half, you twist it and wrap it around the bun, and pin it there. This method will allow you to make buns with a shorter length. Or you could make twin buns - or three, in a "fauxhawk" style.

Braids would also look great on you too.

Oh, and welcome to the LHC :waving:

[lapushka]

My genes have ensured me a lot of hair, especially on my head. On here thick hair seems to be a popular thing, but for me it has been frustrating. It is getting pretty long now (not by the standards on here) and I was hoping it would get a bit easier to manage but I still find that it has tons of volume and thickness. I basically can't wear it loose which is a bit of a disappointment, and my attempt at messy bun is more of an unsustainable explosion which I don't care for. That leaves me with a ponytail which gets the job done from a practical standpoint but I don't know if I really like it much. I figure I'm probably stuck at this point for many months to come which has lead me to thinking about cutting it for a few weeks.

I had a blunt cut until waist length (have a circumference of 4.25 inches, which isn't *that* thick for iii standards but still). Then I had to have it layered and it took enough of the weight off so I could go to classic length easily.

I suggest not having it thinned out, but considering layers in the hair.

There are methods to do so at home, but I would *not* recommend these for hair shorter than waist length, otherwise the shortest layers might even be too short to ponytail.

PS/ I could only bun comfortably as of hip length, so you might have to wait longer, because I'm willing to bet your hair is even thicker than 4.25 inches!

[Zesty]

I second the simple English braid suggestion. If you wanted to go edgy and the thickness really bothered you, you could also do an undercut. I wouldn't thin it out or layer it, but those aren't my "thing."

But I have to admit that I'm mostly commenting to say that you have dream hair. So thick and shiny. It would be a shame to cut it out of frustration.

[Rhoward]

Hello all, I'm "Rustam." I've been lurking here for well over a year. I started reading the forum because the haircare advice here was far better than anything else I could find. I've managed to come up with a pretty good routine and I feel like my hair is in pretty good shape from a health stand point. I probably should have joined long ago but what has prompted me to join now is hoping to get some more personalized advice as I've been frustrated and a bit disillusioned lately.

My genes have ensured me a lot of hair, especially on my head. On here thick hair seems to be a popular thing, but for me it has been frustrating. It is getting pretty long now (not by the standards on here) and I was hoping it would get a bit easier to manage but I still find that it has tons of volume and thickness. I basically can't wear it loose which is a bit of a disappointment, and my attempt at messy bun is more of an unsustainable explosion which I don't care for. That leaves me with a ponytail which gets the job done from a practical standpoint but I don't know if I really like it much. I figure I'm probably stuck at this point for many months to come which has lead me to thinking about cutting it for a few weeks.



I feel conflicted about it and it's decision you can't really come back from so I figured I'd actually post on here and see if you had any advice on things. Thanks everyone.

Here's a picture of mostly daily appearance right now.
https://s9.postimg.org/rfr44pj27/9267394610.png

I know this probably doesn't help you - but I love your hair, its stunning and looks incredible on you. I say keep it.

[enting]

I'm with Sarahlabyrinth, try out some sectioned or divided styles. You might be able to bun that way, even if you end up having to divide your hair into multiple sections, not just two. I happen to think that a row of buns or sectioned and layered braids are cool-looking.

I couldn't easily wear my hair down without it getting in my way until hip. Then, all of a sudden, it started staying behind me all on its own.

Your hair might agree to a partially loose hairstyle, either with two smaller braids on the sides and the back all loose, or a bit of the top gathered and the rest loose. That might make it more manageable.

I would not recommend thinning or cutting parts unless that's something you want to continually upkeep, but in the end you've got to do what works for you.

[OhSuzi]

Your hair is gorgeous!!!! So shiny & thick & a rich colour - I love it - I'd like to see a picture of it down - I can't believe it doesn't look great down too.
Maybe you're not used to doing different styles or a bit critical of what you expect it to look like?
I guess only you know how difficult or annoying it is to have your hair - but I think it's amazing!
I think you look great & I'd kill for that hair!

[Beeboo123]

Oh my, your hair is beautiful, please don’t thin it!
You could wear one of those invisible mesh hair nets over your messy bun to keep it contained. You could also make a ponytail bun by pulling it halfway through the elastic when making your ponytail. With your thickness, it would not be possible to make hair stick buns until it is much longer.
What about learning to braid? I think a braid would look really good on you. You remind me of Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones, if you don’t mind me saying. You’ve really been blessed in the beard department too, so thick and lustrous!

[lapushka]

Oh my, your hair is beautiful, please don’t thin it!
You could wear one of those invisible mesh hair nets over your messy bun to keep it contained. You could also make a ponytail bun by pulling it halfway through the elastic when making your ponytail. With your thickness, it would not be possible to make hair stick buns until it is much longer.
What about learning to braid? I think a braid would look really good on you. You remind me of Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones, if you don’t mind me saying. You’ve really been blessed in the beard department too, so thick and lustrous!

Don't thin it, don't layer it... People, it's easier said than done, if you don't have to deal with it. :flower:

I know *firsthand* how tough it can be, and I am just above iii, so what must it not be for someone with even thicker hair? I totally and utterly sympathize! I would still go for layers, but just a tiny bit of layering at this length, not a whole lot (if it isn't already layered).

[Beeboo123]

Don't thin it, don't layer it... People, it's easier said than done, if you don't have to deal with it. :flower:

I know *firsthand* how tough it can be, and I am just above iii, so what must it not be for someone with even thicker hair? I totally and utterly sympathize! I would still go for layers, but just a tiny bit of layering at this length, not a whole lot (if it isn't already layered).

I probably have half the amount of Rustam’s hair... =p I think we thinner-haired people are just so filled with awe and envy at such a thick mane, but have never had to suffer it, so our first thought is NO DON’T CUT IT WHY DON’T YOU WANT IT.

[Groovy Granny]

Welcome ~ happy you joined us! :waving:

My hair it the total opposite of yours, so I have no advice....just admiration for a gorgeous head of hair :crush:

IMHO I hope you hold on a bit longer to gain length, and then you will have more options with all the cool braids and buns for guys :cheer:

[ggallagher27]

As everyone has said, you have beautiful hair, length, color, shine and all the things. I think you could really rock some braids. I'm sure youtube has some biker braids, viking braids, etc other than what has been already listed. Good luck, and happy growing.

[hayheadsbird]

Another one to echo your hair is amazing. I'm just onto iii (11cm circumference) so technically thick but not as much as yours.

I'd Def have a look at braids, that would look amazing, still be masculine and keep it out of the way while you gain more length.
Personally I'd want to avoid thinning, as growing that out as well might be equally frustrating. In the past when I've had mine thinned it's ended up with ends poking out when worn up, which kinda defeats the purpose of thinning to be able to bun.

[*Wednesday*]

That is definitely centerfold worthy. Oh la la. 😳

[Rustam]

After reading all of your very appreciated responses (also thanks for the many compliments) I feel basically like a kid who is angry he got the wrong color of the toy he wanted or something. Somehow it also came up when I was talking with a good friend today and basically said to just accept it for what it is instead of what it's not and be proud of that. And in my gut I think I'd regret cutting right now. I feel like I’d be wasting the investment I’ve made so far if I quit now and I think I probably like it more than I've been feeling lately just because I've let me frustration with not getting exactly what I wanted ruin the parts I do like. So I’d like to figure out how to try some of the suggestions you all gave and see if that changes things.
-A lot of you mentioned braids. Do you think my hair is actually long enough for that? I would have thought it needed to be longer. And how long do you think it would take to learn? I also think I’m going to feel self-conscious about having my hair like that to be honest, but I’m willing to at least give it a try at home, I’ve just not seen any other guys wearing braids around.
-A few others mentioned some kind of two part bun. There was a description of how to do it, but is there a name so I could find a video to see? I’d definitely be really interested in that.
-I’m not sure I feel comfortable getting layers or an undercut, but thanks for the suggestion. I’d have to look into it a bit more to be sure, but I guess I worry I’d end up with a bad haircut.
-I’ve tried a half up before and just am not a big fan though I sometimes do it at home. And I've tried to do a ponytail/bun a whole lot but It’s like it’s too much for the hair tie to handle and it doesn’t stay very long.
-And if I'm stuck with a ponytail for a bit longer, you all think it looks okay? I guess I've always bought into the stereotype that it's a lame hairstyle for a guy.
And thanks again for all the effort to think of things that might help.

[Zesty]

:scissors: And if I'm stuck with a ponytail for a bit longer, you all think it looks okay? I guess I've always bought into the stereotype that it's a lame hairstyle for a guy. :scissors:

If by "okay" you mean "possibly the best ponytail ever." Like seriously, I have ponytail envy. So thick and voluminous, so shiny. Rock dat ponytail. Just keep a lookout for breakage and don't pull the two sides apart to tighten it.

It *looks* like you can do a braid, also, and that's a bit more hair friendly in general.

[Cg]

Rustam, I assure you, there is absolutely nothing lame about your ponytail! Go ahead and enjoy all that shiny hair!

[ThrowNormanAway]

Rustam, have you ever looked on YouTube channels of different longhairs? Your beautiful thick straight hair reminds me of Haartraum. She has similar thickness and it’s amazing. Check out her channel to see how special and perfect of a head of hair you have. It’s something to be enjoyed.

[Rustam]

Thanks Zesty and Cg, I've really just worn a ponytail out of necessity, but maybe I can start to actually rock it a bit instead.
ThrowAwayNorman I definitely hadn't, but wow that is a ton of hair that she has! I'll take that as quite the compliment though I doubt I will ever grow mine as long as that. Do you have any tips for trying out some of the styles you suggested?

[ThrowNormanAway]

Do you have any tips for trying out some of the styles you suggested?

I'd again turn you to youtube... for a half up you can just section your hair above your ears, and back. tie your hair at the back like a ponytail and leave the bottom half untied and down. For a braid you can do a french braid or dutch where the segments are sort of woven in as you go, or a regular english braid which is just straight three segments and down from there. and tie where you want to leave the tassel as long as you want.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=236f-3LsnTM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of8Uo6gwJHs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lfKjcVkSsI

[Rustam]

Thanks. Looks like that will take some work but I'll give it a try.

[spirals]

I think what may be bothering you slightly is the fact that with hair that thick it tends to grow out instead of down. I think my ponytail is as thick as yours and mine does that too (also because if I brush out the curls it gets puffier). I don't know if you have coarse hair but that can make it stand outward even more. I think you can do a short braid at that length, just a simple English braid. When it gets closer to mid-back you might try a 5-strand which would lay flat and look really cool. I figure if I can learn it, anyone can! If you want to do a bun I think a stainless steel stick would look good against your hair color. It seems like it would go with your wardrobe, too. I did have a lot of trouble with buns at that length, but I found if you divide your hair in half and use the second half as the tail, that works on thick hair. I used the nautilus bun a lot, with a stick. Anyone have a suggestion for a good video on that? I thought of Torrin, but her hair is so much longer than many of ours so I don't know if she's the best reference.

Anyway, please don't cut. As it grows out it'll be easier to control. I say this as someone with a 4.5" ponytail circumfrence with coarse and curly hair. If anyone has difficulty wrestling it into submission, it's me.

[OhSuzi]

Guys do seem to get flack for growing long hair, or get teased if they wear it up, or just differently to how people are used to seeing it. Everyone, men & women, can get self concious if they try a new hair style, has it been done right, does it feel comfortable, worrying it looks too weird or pretentious etc.

It takes balls to just see past that - ignore the idiots & your own self doubt. The teasers don't actually care one way or another what your hair is like. It makes 0 difference to their world what length / style your hair is. They just say stuff unthinkingly or to be 'funny' or because they are jealous.
Keep it long they'll continue to tease you, chop it off they laugh at you for listening to them & for giving them the power to decide how you look & then they'll tease you about something else.
For every person who does say or think your hair is not their cup of tea - there are 100 more who are going to love it!
& what really matters is whether you love it as its your hair!

Honestly Long hair on guys is HOT HOT HOT!
It's one of the first things I look for, currently where I live practically 0 men have long hair -very disappointing, not that I'm writing everyone else off it's just long hair is an attribute that I find really attractive and its pretty rare here!

Kahl Drogo, Slash from G n R, Jared Leto, Aiden Turner, Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, Roman Reigns (Wrestler), Danny Davis (Snow Boarder) soo many guys rocking long thick locks. Some with Exciting Viking styles, some just down, some shiny & silky, some scruffy n wavy.

Google some dudes with long hair - & some vids on how to style for inspiration.

Have an experiment at home or find a hair dressing pal who'd love to braid & style your hair for you & see if you can find some practical easy new styles that work for you.

[enting]

On your way to learning braids, you could also try this out. http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=116058
It can be done starting with a full ponytail or you could just take a small amount of your hair and make a high ponytail and slowly add hair each time you add a ponytail holder. I tried to look for a video tutorial for this and for some of the other ideas given, but my google-fu must be off.

As a general rule, if it seems that you don't have enough length for a style, try doing the style with only part of your hair.

I do believe you have enough length for a braid with all of your hair, but even if that's a struggle, you absolutely have enough length for sectioning off a bit of hair about the thickness of your finger and learning to braid on that section. Once you can do that, you can jazz up your hairstyle with some small accent braids.

Torrin Paige has a video about sectioning hair to get it all up. This might help you understand the two part bun concept better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZvXrEOfJ4w
You could also duplicate the first bun with second section of hair rather than wrapping it around the first bun. Most people think of double buns as pigtail buns or Leia buns, but they can also be arranged vertically, like Rey's hairstyle (Star Wars hairstyles are the first reference I'm coming up with). They don't have to actually be Rey's style of pulled-through buns, you can pick any other bun you want to learn. The concept is only in the arrangement of where you place the buns. You can use this idea for half-ups also. If you don't like how you look in a half-up, take the remaining hair and duplicate whatever you did with the top half. Yes, you are allowed to have two (or more) ponytails or two braids stacked one on top of the other or positioned next to each other.

If it helps to see pictures of guys wearing braids, google for viking men braids.

It's all really about having the building blocks and how you combine them. If you learn only one type of bun (say, a lazy wrap bun or pencil bun), the basic English braid, and understand how to play around with how much of your hair you use in each, you can already create a whole lot of different styles with combining them differently. You don't even need to know one of each, even just knowing the english braid opens the door to all sorts of styles. There are even variations on the basic ponytail you can do, like the banded ponytail I linked to. Have a look through some of the hairstyle of the month threads, or the "show us" threads. There should be a bunch of tutorial video links in those threads.