Hair colour - help!

[Flossiebell]

Hello everyone

I think I need a virtual slap across the face please - I seem to be getting myself in a state over my hair. I haven’t dyed it for a year and I have old dye growing out that is light reddish brown. My natural colour is growing in - flat mid brown without a hint of warmth with a few silvers throughout. Problem is it just looks a mess, I wish I could put a pic on here so you would know what I mean. I’m also growing out a fringe which is frizzy (I’m curly-ish) so that just adds to the look. Plus the last inch or so of my fringe is the warmer brown colour. Basically I think I suddenly look old and drab so, because I can’t go dark (thinning hair) I bought a bright red hair dye (red passion by Schwarzkopf) and suddenly I am terrified to use it because 1 - it might not suit me (I have pale olive skin), 2 - it might damage my already frizzy hair (its permanent), 3 - worried it might worsen the thinning and 4 - if I don’t like it, it will takes years to grow out. I tried henna in the past and didn’t get on with it (didn’t suit me / damage). I keep thinking that it will look healthier if I leave it alone but then will I just look washed out and drab for the rest of my life? I know I’ve only got a year of Virgin growth, is my reaction to be expected or am I really losing it here?

Have any of you found yourself stressing over hair like this? 20 years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about sticking bright red dye on my head. What do you suggest? Don’t know whether to take dye back to shop and just keep hair up and forget about it - problem is I can’t forget about it forever.

Sorry for the long post, I tend to babble when I’m stressed 😫

[KlutzyChy1]

First of all, please don't think that you are overreacting! I can completely sympathize with you when it comes to worrying and overly stressing about the state of your hair. I went through an awful shed about a year and a half ago and I'm still affected by it (I still count my shed hairs, awful habit I know, but sometimes you can't help the way things affect you). Anyways, I think you need to take a step back and think about whats most important to you. If the length and health of your hair are what is most important, I would hold off on dying it for a while. It seems as though you are really second guessing yourself when it comes to wanting to color it, so perhaps instead of focusing so much on the color, try to put your energy towards positively impacting your hair by babying it and learning new ways to care for it and improve the state of it. I know how you feel about walking around with your hair a bunch of different colors or having it not be the way you want it to be. If you look at my hair (I just posted a thread of my one year progress) you'll see that I've got a VERY obvious demarcation line that seperated my virgin brunette hair and my dyed black hair. It does bother me sometimes but you have to try to remind yourself that what you're doing is to improve the health of your hair and while it may be a bumpy road now, when all is said and done, it will be so worth it.

[lapushka]

I would not color it with that particular color - you're right it's too much (IMMHO).

Why not just a brown close to your own natural color, that way the grow-out won't bother you as much.

[Jo Ann]

Oh, can I empathize with you, Flossiebell!

I'm going grey (75% now, with 20% white) and I'm fighting the urge to just dye it and get it over with. Besides the $$$ involved (I'm between HL and BCL), I'm not wanting to damage all that virgin length.

What I'm finding out helps me is to keep that plan on the back burner, so to speak--realize I'm almost 100% and, if I dye it, I'm going to shoot down all that patience that's gotten me to the healthy lengths I have now.

To be honest, I would take that Red Passion back and get the money back. With the patience you've shown so far to let your hair grow out for a year (Congratulations!!), a permanent dye probably isn't in your best interest at this time. Actions we take in haste aren't usually the best ones for us in the long run.

Maybe something less permanent, like Manic Panic, would help you get past this point? It might tide you over until you're over the worst of wanting to dye your hair. Maybe an ACV or a white vinegar rinse will help you put things more in perspective? An ACV might brighten your natural color and a white vinegar rinse would remove any residue (without the slight reddish tint an ACV might add to your hair) and you can have a better idea of what direction you can take.

As for the fringe, maybe try different styling to get them out of the way (mini-braids, headbands, etc) until they grow out a bit more? I know growing out fringe can be a real pain in the posterior, but you seem to be a creative sort from what I've seen of your other postings and I'm sure you can find a solution that will work for you.

[Flossiebell]

Lapushka - I have tried to dye it brown several times before but cannot get box dye that is slightly close due to it being flat brown. I asked hairdresser about covering the old dye and he said it wouldn’t work and orange would still come through because of colour build up.

Maybe I should just wear a hat!

[Jo Ann]

Lapushka - I have tried to dye it brown several times before but cannot get box dye that is slightly close due to it being flat brown. I asked hairdresser about covering the old dye and he said it wouldn’t work and orange would still come through because of colour build up.

Maybe I should just wear a hat!
Maybe a stop at the "Giving Up Dye/Bleach And Growing Out Natural" (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=51155&) thread will give you a couple of ideas...

[Rhoward]

Have you thought of brown depositing shampoo/conditioner? If you use it a few times a week it would blend the colours and not look so obvious, plus its completely non damaging and not permanent. The Nak ones are very good, I'd probably suggest the Deep Espresso for you. It will give you time to think and grow it for a while, and not hate how it looks at the same time!

http://www.nakhair.com.au/59/Products/view/166/Colour-Masque-Coloured-Conditioners

[Flossiebell]

Thanks guys.........its weird that people in the ‘real world’ just don’t understand the problem. I will bookmark that growing out dye thread for moments such as these. I knew it existed but I had got into that much of a state I couldn’t think straight and forgot all about it. Thanks again :)

[lapushka]

I'm glad you came here first instead of just dyeing it straight away. At least we can calm you down a tad bit. I wouldn't do it. As was suggested, try veggie dyes like La Riche Directions, Manic Panic, etc. and see what that does, although it might not be that great on gray hair, though IDK, might color very intense on the gray/white and not so much the brown hair.

[lunasea]

Been through this and still get urges from time to time. The last time I had my hair dyed was the summer of '14. I had it kind of copper red with blond highlights. It was a gorgeous color. It probably wasn't the best color for me 'cause I am older with kind of ashy skin but I liked it. It sometimes felt a little odd cause young guys would see me from behind and whistle and, when I turned around, they looked all sheepish when they realized I was old enough to be their grandmothers. It was extremely hard to maintain the color though and it was killing my already fine hair. I also had short bangs that I wore down... like the rest of my hair they were very thin.

I really wanted to see what my hair was like since I hadn't seen my natural color in years. So I let it grow out. Now it's that ashy blonde/brown that so many people call "mousey" and it has some gray. The color of my bangs is the color of my skin and they kind of disappeared. For a while I felt completely washed out. Over the years I've figured some stuff out though. One day when I was at the zoo, I realized that my hair was the same color as a beautiful snow leopard that I was looking at. All I could think was- geez, that cat is sooo beautiful and my hair is that color. Darn. I need to make this work.

First, I had to change the colors I was wearing. I tend to now go for subtle green-grays or blue-grays . Bright colors make me look like a ghost with this hair color. If I wear the right colors- it looks really good . I also had to change the way I wore my bangs. If I tried to wear them down like when I had a brighter hair color, they didn't look good. So I started letting them follow their natural wave and now I wear them kind of up. When I started doing that, people I knew started staring at me like they couldn't figure out what was different and I kept hearing them say that I looked good- but they were clearly confused about why. But I knew- the change was subtle but it worked.

So I guess, for me it all boiled down to accepting what I am and what I have and learning to make the most of it.

That's what worked for me; good luck on your journey...

BTW, mousey, washed out?

https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/128/590x/secondary/Snow-leopard-running-765855.jpg

[spidermom]

Yes please, return the red. I feel sure it will not suit, and it's permanent.

Maybe look into a deposit-only dye or a semi-permanent.

[2gaits]

When was the last time you had a professional give you a really good cut? Not sure what length your hair is but I've found when I get so obsessed with length and growing my hair can start to look unkempt and just overgrown. I have bangs I'm growing out and shoulder length hair with layers. It still needs a haircut maintained to look decent. I think as it grows longer I can start trimming myself but not now. I write all that to just maybe see if you have thought about it needing a cut. I wouldn't color it. You've worked hard to grow that color out.

[YumiYume]

[...] One day when I was at the zoo, I realized that my hair was the same color as a beautiful snow leopard that I was looking at. All I could think was- geez, that cat is sooo beautiful and my hair is that color. Darn. I need to make this work. [...]

[...] BTW, mousey, washed out?

https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/128/590x/secondary/Snow-leopard-running-765855.jpg

Thank you for sharing this lovely story! YOU and that snowleopard just made my hairday <3! Now i feel meeeoooow about my roots instead of blaahhhh :D !!!

[OhSuzi]

If you're the kind of person who loves a punky funky change it up, to hell with the consequences go for it, but if your the sort of person who's in two minds about it and is worried about the risk of damage or the colour not being right, perhaps don't experiment with the reddy orange.
You either have to commit fully or not at all! A half n half compromise where you only put a bit of the dye on, or don't leave it in long enough or are definitely not used to change & then try 1000 other products on top to dye another colour / get rid of it - you're not going to get the desired effect.

I have olive skin too and sometimes reds would work & sometimes they looked a bit clashy and not the most complimentary for my skin tone - and red hair dye was hard to maintain and was never quite the same shade of red each time I dyed it. But I didn't care at the time it was fun to experiment.

Once I had decided I fancied natural hair though - I first used Hair B4 that left me with several different hair rootlines in a weird blonde, reddy blonde, dirty blond, brown roots ombre!
Then I got the hairdresser to dye all the different shades as close to the natural brown roots - it looked ok for a while - but there was a lot of frizz and dry ends and the brown didnt last overly long in the blondey red parts.

So I chopped it all off! (it was a bout mid neck length) To the roots sort of a shaggy pixie - it was lovely and shiny and healthy - a fresh new look.
After one more pixie cut about 6 months later - I then just left it to grow - it took 1 year with no cuts to get it back to shoulder.
Now Im still growing totally natural mine is also brown that has a scattering of greys in. And I go through phases of feeling like the colour is blah as I was used to dyeing it red (as well as blue & purple etc).

What I generally found whilst growing it out was the blah days were when I was in a rush to get to work & just had scruffy unbrushed sometimes unwashed & unstyled hair - I'd either just put up with it, cause I'm at work with the same few people & nobody cares what I look like & I dont care what they think.
Or remedy the blah hair situation with a bath or shower as soon as I could & taking time to pamper and style my hair nicely & maybe bunging on some make up.

Also the difference is hair dye & cuts are an immediate change that always make you look fresh but don't last forever. Growing hair long, growing out roots is a long slow process, (maybe 3-5 years if your growing it long) but should eventually leave you with lovely healthy hair & hopefully as your hair gets longer & gets a bit of sun on it, you'll learn to embrace your natural colour more.

If not Grow out / chop hair to your roots first, grow hair to the desired length and then dye it a more intense brown if you wish.

Theres a thread for people growing out their roots - I bet they all have days when they miss the blonde or feel frustrated by the lack of immediate progress - Hair growing is a serious exercise in patience.

And whilst fabulous hair can give you a confidence boost - your hair isnt you - You're still the same awesome person with orange hair / brown hair / multicoloured hair / no hair.