Gray hair

[tlatzoteotl]

Thoughts?

I'll be 39 soon, and I'm actually looking forward to getting gray hair. I know that that is not a popular opinion, but it's also not a very popular thing to have very long hair. So, I'm wondering how the folks here feel about gray hair and whether or not you choose to cover it up if you have any or if you just go with it.

I suppose there's a chance that I might feel differently once I start getting gray hair, but there are several ladies I know who aren't that much older than me that have this beautiful shine to their hair... when they don't cover it up with bottled color.

I think one reason I'd like to have a little gray hair is because I wouldn't be mistaken for a young girl. I can recall being 28 years old and being mistaken for someone in high school. Now I'm 10 years older than that, and while I no longer get carded for alcohol (on the rare occasions that I buy any), I still feel like people don't treat me like a grown woman.

[The Maple Leaf]

I'm always glad to hear of someone who's cool with going gray. I have some grays (I'm 38 ) but they're not visible unless you look really close. I don't care about them - going gray is natural and when I go gray I go gray. I would never dye my hair as I don't like putting any kind of color or chemicals on hair. I'm a dude, but even if I were a woman, I'm pretty sure I'd just embrace my grays when they came.

[spidermom]

I love my silvery color! I thought my hair color was rather bland during most of my adult life, kind of that nondescript color between blonde and light brown. I do like to use color on it from time to time, though, always the kind that will gradually fade out. Deal with roots? Not me!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I love my silver hair and there's no way I will be dying my hair again. Silver hair just gleams and shines so beautifully :) I also love not having to deal with roots and stinky dyes any more.

[rmani]

We have a salt and pepper thread http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=16951

At 32 I stopped colouring after about 15 years of colouring every 6 weeks to cover greys (I am naturally dark red-tinged brown/almost black). 1 year later I chopped to CBL with full virgin hair which is 75% grey/white/silver (only the nape is my natural colour). People think I've intentionally coloured/highlighted my hair this way because grey/silver is fashionable now. When people realize it's natural I get nothing but compliments. No roots, no damage, more money in my pocket, and I can actually have thick hair that grows. As others have said - I don't imagine I will ever colour again; the grow out is a pain and the damage/wasted time and money is not worth it to me.

[lapushka]

We have a salt and pepper thread http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=16951

At 32 I stopped colouring after about 15 years of colouring every 6 weeks to cover greys (I am naturally dark red-tinged brown/almost black). 1 year later I chopped to CBL with full virgin hair which is 75% grey/white/silver (only the nape is my natural colour). People think I've intentionally coloured/highlighted my hair this way because grey/silver is fashionable now. When people realize it's natural I get nothing but compliments. No roots, no damage, more money in my pocket, and I can actually have thick hair that grows. As others have said - I don't imagine I will ever colour again; the grow out is a pain and the damage/wasted time and money is not worth it to me.

Yes I was just about to refer OP to the S&P thread! Thanks rmani for posting the link!

I am going salt-shaker white (skipping the gray stage), and it is hairs sprinkled throughout. I think I'm 3% "gray". My wispy hairs in front are kind of white already. I like it. I had a dye accident a few years ago (chemical cut & burn) and ever since I just never touched dye again!

[tlatzoteotl]

I loved reading your replies! :) Money and effort are definitely factors for me in not wanting to cover it whenever I get any. I just love natural hair, in whatever form it takes.

[EdG]

I used to dread that I was turning gray. Then, a LHC'er convinced me that the bug was a feature. The Silver Swirl was thus born.
Ed

[Bambi]

Just turned 30 and discovered a few (4?) totally white hair strands. They are only noticeable in certain lights and ”hard” to find since my hair is fine.
I’m looking forward to being in my 60’s with long white hair.
Right now I’m not really sure what to think of them.. sometimes I like them and sometimes they give me a tiny bit anxiety..any advice on how to cope on those days?

[lapushka]

Just turned 30 and discovered a few (4?) totally white hair strands. They are only noticeable in certain lights and ”hard” to find since my hair is fine.
I’m looking forward to being in my 60’s with long white hair.
Right now I’m not really sure what to think of them.. sometimes I like them and sometimes they give me a tiny bit anxiety..any advice on how to cope on those days?

You'll get more, that might not be *right now*. I mean. I got my first whites in my early 20s and it took 10 years until I got more. Don't panic, for sure don't do that. :flower:

[Kake]

Just turned 30 and discovered a few (4?) totally white hair strands. They are only noticeable in certain lights and ”hard” to find since my hair is fine.
I’m looking forward to being in my 60’s with long white hair.
Right now I’m not really sure what to think of them.. sometimes I like them and sometimes they give me a tiny bit anxiety..any advice on how to cope on those days?

Photos of people with great looking grey hair helped me. Posters here of course, and I had a grey hair Pinterest board.

[Groovy Granny]

My DD who is 42 tried to go silver and went back to color.
She would have looked great with salt & pepper, but I must admit that the color (on her) was prettier and more youthful for her skin and eyes.
However she must keep it up now = time and $...and potential damage.

I went natural and embraced my silver when I was 50...after my hair was destroyed by a friend/licensed home stylist.... and I had to cut a foot off to boot :steam
Yet it was a hidden blessing for me as I hadn't seen my natural color in 20 years at that point, and felt free not having to color again.
It goes against the grain here in my neck of the woods, where most cut/color/curl their hair....but I could care less and love my long silver :lala:

You are still young, so go with your heart....whatever makes YOU happy...at any age :cheer:

[cjk]

Too many people paint with too broad a brush. Gray hair is just a thing, it can be beautiful or look ratty, depending on quite a few factors.

As a man I'm supposed to embrace my silver hairs. Like hell I will. But so long as they remain reasonably symmetrical and colored in such a way that they go well with my blond hairs, they'll look fine.

In fact I have gray stripes through my beard, similar to Wolfman Jack. Several judges have even asked if they were natural or frosted for the effect.

[Cg]

It's freeing if you can embrace your silvering. I hope you enjoy the journey, as it can be remarkably beautiful. Whatever you decide, it's your hair and you're the one who has to like it.

I've never colored my silvers, never even tempted. I'm always mindful, though, that people tend to be less forgiving of visible neglect when the hair owner isn't young. For me this means hair that's frequently, regularly trimmed and always clean (or completely covered if not). I don't want to be mistaken for a bag lady in training!

[Corvana]

I don't know what I'll do, to be honest. I'll be 30 this Christmas Eve, and I'm fairly certain I've got at least 2 silvers in the middle of my hair because I think they peek out when I do a half-up. But it could also be the garbage lighting I take photos in :laugh: I don't see them outside if I take a photo there!

I do want to try henna, though. I'm tempted to start with a gloss instead of a full application, but at the same time I'd adore being so red. My hair isn't as dark as my avatar and signature suggest, once you've got 25 posts check out my outdoor pic used for my profile. It's a golden-y dark brown. But it used to be very red in high school, and apparently I've been chasing that color since my son was an infant (he's 8 now), whether actively or passively.

I certainly don't hate greys, and wouldn't hate having them. But like with most things with me, I'd rather have a bunch than a handful. I see Ed's hair, and Crystawni's, and everyone else's that's got a glorious swirl of grey and I'm just :inlove: And that's what I want from greys! So if I get into henna, I may just do it until I get a good swirl going ;)

[tlatzoteotl]

cjk, my husband has a beard and has gray right down the middle. It's a really cool look. Do you have a long beard? Husband doesn't like to shave, so his is long enough to braid, which I think looks really good on him.

[Shadri]

I'm in my early 20's, and I've noticed quite a few sparklies springing up. (I blame the stress of university!) I had one professor who had gorgeous long grey hair, down to her thighs at least, and I admired her hair so much that I'd like to do the same once I'm fully grey :)

[patches]

I don't think my hair is graying fast enough! I was hoping by 30 that my hair would be all salt and pepper. I'm 31 now and it seems to be finally starting to go that way. Growing up I had an aunt who started graying quite young and I was always in awe of her gorgeous salt and pepper hair. I would always hope I would take after her. I suppose I'll get there one day. I am slowly getting there. One side of my head has a growing number of silver hairs dispersed across a pretty good area, but on the other side they seem to be only collecting near my temple. Whatever. It really doesn't bother me all that much. I'm just happy more are finally showing up. Lately I've been kind of tempted to put some henna in my hair. I absolutely love how it makes it feel, but I think I would be just too sad to see all my emerging silvers covered.

[Jo Ann]

Patches, I know the feeling! I wish, too, I would grey quicker, but it will happen in it's own time.

I checked out how to *ahem!* help it along, and the thought of bleaching it to dye it silver is SO against my grain! Besides, I'm lazy about the upkeep...and poor...poor and lazy is keeping me from doing something damaging to my hair... :p

[patches]

Yeah, same here, Jo Ann. I really don't want to deal with the expense or hassle just to damage my hair. I'm also too poor and lazy for such things. We'll get there when we get there. With healthy hair. And it will be glorious!

[cjk]

cjk, my husband has a beard and has gray right down the middle. It's a really cool look. Do you have a long beard? Husband doesn't like to shave, so his is long enough to braid, which I think looks really good on him.

I don't know that I would call my beard long, especially since I cut half off earlier this year, but when competing I'm usually lumped into the >8" category. I'd call it medium. Nipple length, basically.

I'll let you decide.

https://i.imgur.com/9CmB2xJ_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

[arr]

I’ll throw in a different experience here. I’m 40 and I have enough gray that if I didn’t color it would be quite noticeable. I apply a medium brown permanent color on the roots only, I never take it down the length. Of course I’m sure because of this I don’t have optimal hair health, but I don’t notice any damage. My reason for coloring is, I have a very young face and I just feel like the gray hair is too incongruous next to my face, it just doesn’t match. I color every three weeks to stay on top of it and yes, it’s annoying and I’m tired of doing it. I don’t know when I will stop, I assume one day I will look in the mirror and think I look old enough for gray hair now. I know none of this is logical, it’s just my own thoughts about myself.

[2gaits]

I think it is a really personal decision. I doubt either of my sister's will stop coloring and the one is adamant that gray should be covered. She goes every four weeks and has it done. She has the money for the upkeep. That is one thing I think is a must if you're going to color it. I have coworkers that don't keep it up enough and I think the gray roots look awful. I also know several women that leave their hair natural. One is platinum white now and still in her 40s. She looks great. Others are salt and pepper in varying shades. All keep their hair in good condition which I think is key. I'm currently coloring but have gone back and forth with it. I'm not really a fan of bottled color and messing with it. Getting it done costs quite a bit as well and I think I might like to do something else with that money.

[lapushka]

OP, take a look at the channel "MrKongsMom" on YT. Her name is Melanie, and she has gone gray in her late 30s as she started graying pretty early on in her life. She just decided that she had had enough of dyeing her hair, and... it's gorgeous!

[Jo Ann]

Yeah, same here, Jo Ann. I really don't want to deal with the expense or hassle just to damage my hair. I'm also too poor and lazy for such things. We'll get there when we get there. With healthy hair. And it will be glorious!
That's the attitude, Patches! :)

[Crystawni]

I don't know what I'll do, to be honest. I'll be 30 this Christmas Eve, and I'm fairly certain I've got at least 2 silvers in the middle of my hair because I think they peek out when I do a half-up. But it could also be the garbage lighting I take photos in :laugh: I don't see them outside if I take a photo there!

I do want to try henna, though. I'm tempted to start with a gloss instead of a full application, but at the same time I'd adore being so red. My hair isn't as dark as my avatar and signature suggest, once you've got 25 posts check out my outdoor pic used for my profile. It's a golden-y dark brown. But it used to be very red in high school, and apparently I've been chasing that color since my son was an infant (he's 8 now), whether actively or passively.

I certainly don't hate greys, and wouldn't hate having them. But like with most things with me, I'd rather have a bunch than a handful. I see Ed's hair, and Crystawni's, and everyone else's that's got a glorious swirl of grey and I'm just :inlove: And that's what I want from greys! So if I get into henna, I may just do it until I get a good swirl going ;)

:smooch: It takes time, and a good dose of patience, ignorance and acceptance.

My white-transition started at my temples and under the canopy in the nape area in my 20s, so was hidden a lot by my canopy. It took a bit to accept it when I committed to growing my hair longer with a sideorder of updos, though, as I looked like I had a toupee. Now the canopy is flecking out with some silvers as well, so the upper mix is gentler, with the lower stuff just about a white-out now. Actually, if I do a high bun with the nape-hair dominant, my head shows silvery-white. With low buns, I can get it almost full-copper.

And yup, virgin hair is low maintenance and pretty well behaved (which helps when growing to longer lengths), although as mine's multi-coloured and low porous, it was resistant to colouring so my decision to stay natural was kinda made for me. When I did dabble, I found colouring smells yuck, is messy, a time and money suck and can be impossible to blend.

As I always say, it's just another colour (or colours, as I have white and newly-acquired silver) to add to the mix. But there may be a little playing around there while the balance of colours find their stride.

Be unique. It's only natural. :p

[Kake]

I’ll throw in a different experience here. I’m 40 and I have enough gray that if I didn’t color it would be quite noticeable. I apply a medium brown permanent color on the roots only, I never take it down the length. Of course I’m sure because of this I don’t have optimal hair health, but I don’t notice any damage. My reason for coloring is, I have a very young face and I just feel like the gray hair is too incongruous next to my face, it just doesn’t match. I color every three weeks to stay on top of it and yes, it’s annoying and I’m tired of doing it. I don’t know when I will stop, I assume one day I will look in the mirror and think I look old enough for gray hair now. I know none of this is logical, it’s just my own thoughts about myself.

Well now that's kind of funny because I like the incongruity. Not that I would say I have a very young face, but I'm 49, so old enough for grey hair, but everyone I know my age either has no grey yet or dyes. I like looking younger close up than people might expect given my hair colour. One of the things I kind of worried about when I was still dyeing was looking older close up than I looked from afar. I wear jeans, hoodies etc and don't really dress like a lot of women my age.

I know that it sounds like a bad thing to say about yourself, but I have a bland kind of face, not especially memorable. My silver helps people remember me, which I think I like.

[Crystawni]

I got mistaken for my daughter (who's in her early-mid 20s) just a month ago... And she often gets mistaken for a pre-teen. Okay, yes, I have youthful skin (fair, with the only wrinkles being twinkles in my eyes), but when you embrace all that is you, you can be ageless.

[ephemeri]

Started graying at 14, which horrified me at the time, and have dyed my roots regularly ever since. This summer I suddenly hit the wall and realized I never want to dye my hair again! So I'm about 4 months into the growing out process.

I have a ton of pure white on the sides, and a fairly salty salt-and-pepper on top and in the back. The growing out phase has been challenging since the demarcation line bumps up against my old henna (the warmth of the henna and the cool tones of the silver kind of clash) but I'm so happy to not be dyeing my hair. I can't wait until it's all grown out. I'm only 36.

I used to be afraid that if I didn't dye my hair, I would "look old". What helps me the most is looking up people online who have gone gray and embraced it. There's lots of beautiful inspiration here on LHC, pinterest, and instagram. It also helps that random strangers have given me positive feedback on my hair since the silvers have been showing. Strangely, most people seem to think I've dyed my roots white. It honestly never occurred to me that anyone would come to that conclusion but I think with the popularity of people dyeing their hair silver these days, people just assume it's not my natural color (maybe also because I look too young to be gray?).

I've got bangs and I wear my MBL hair in a cinnabun with an aluminum two-prong fork and a black, wide cloth headband daily and it's been working for me to get through the growing out. It's a style that looks cute and makes the demarcation line much less noticeable. :o

[Eastbound&Down]

I got my first grays/silvers around 16, and I occasionally will dye over then because I'm only 26. But my silvers are very dye resistant, so even the box dyes don't get them all sometimes.

[tlatzoteotl]

Such interesting replies! No judgment to those who do cover up their gray hair - I feel like everyone should do what makes them happy. I was curious, and glad to see that there are folks like me. Well...like I want to be. I might be in my sixties before my hair grays, who knows.

cjk, your beard is definitely long. My husband's reaches below his sternum now, I think. He hasn't shaved in quite a long time. I miss his face, but on the other hand it's nice to not deal with his scruff. It is particularly wiry and grows very fast...he can shave in the morning and have stubble by evening.

Crystawni, I love your colors! Your hair is simply gorgeous.

Like several of those who responded, I have a young face, too...I may have mentioned that at the beginning. I suppose it's partly genetic and partly from only wearing make-up about 1% of the time. I hate the way it feels on my skin...it's too heavy and I can feel it suffocating my pores. I feel young, too. Seems like I was 20 years old starting my job yesterday...but I have been in my job for 18 years now. Still have the same boss and same office manager, and lots of the same coworkers throughout my building and throughout the school division, and I don't think any of us have aged much in that time! The only passing of time I can see is in our children. Mostly theirs, since I didn't start having kids until I was 29.

I'm a rambler....hope that's OK. :)

[starfire]

I'm 38. I have some grays and actually can't wait for it to be all gray! Long white hair is my dream.

[Jo Ann]

...I'm a rambler....hope that's OK. :)
Mine is legendary. My sons, especially Youngest Dear Son, pretend I'm a puppy on a leash investigating something interesting.

Me: *Ramblin' on*
YDS: Come on, Mom. We have to go now. *tugs on arm while moving away*
Me: Nice chatting with you, but I have to go now!

[czech it out]

I’m in my mid 20s and I have a few greys! I think they’re absolutely fascinating. They are a completely different/more coarse texture than the rest of my hairs. I also have a few that go grey halfway down the hair shaft, and some that go from brown to grey and back to brown again. Cool stuff!

[tlatzoteotl]

That is cool! I find it to be a fascinating process. For now I can just watch my husband's turn gray. He's 4 years older than me, but started graying in his late twenties. He would like to have long hair, but the longer it gets the thinner it gets, so he cuts it all off and starts over again every few years.

[Zebra]

I am 29 and my temples are getting grey fast. I like it. I look very young and it's starting to bug me. People don't really take me seriously. Maybe some more grey would help me.

I think silver hair looks really nice.

[Bambi]

You'll get more, that might not be *right now*. I mean. I got my first whites in my early 20s and it took 10 years until I got more. Don't panic, for sure don't do that. :flower:


Photos of people with great looking grey hair helped me. Posters here of course, and I had a grey hair Pinterest board.

Thank you guys :).

[ghanima]

I think that some people look really great with grey and white hair, and others don't. Keeping the grays is certainly popular these days and a lot more practical, I'll give you that. I am still on the fence, but I may soon do a henndigo gloss and keep on doing it until % of greys or whites is high enough, like Corvana.

[Anje]

As near as I can tell, when you find a few grays doesn't indicate how quickly you will go gray. I found my first (and it was a foot long!) at 12, and always had a couple as a teenager. At 35, I now have a few dozen and a couple are clustered at my temples, but I'm nowhere near 1% gray yet.

My husband, meanwhile, had a gray or 3 in his beard at 17. At 25, when we were first together, he had 2 little spots with some gray in his beard and the odd silver in his temples. By my age, his goatee was nearly white, and now at 41 his beard is solid white and his head is maybe 60-70% white. He's gone gray fast, but his skin looks young enough that late-20s friends have expressed envy at the color. We're going gray at very different rates, even though I'm pretty sure I found my first sparkles at an earlier age.

[Dark40]

Oh, I'm 46, and I love my gray hair! I just have some strands on the sides, and at the crown but I always keep my gray hairs covered with a box rinse.

[Rushli]

I hear you on being thought I was younger. I was 21 and mistaken for a middle schooler because I helped in the youth group. When I was 27, I was working with the HS students on a float and a mom came over to introduce herself to the new student.... yep, she thought it was me despite the fact that I was wearing one of the school shirts that only teachers and board members can get.

I am 34 now and think I look my age, or at least in my late 20s. I have 4 white hairs on my temple since I was 16. I see zero signs of grey otherwise. I have been thinking about henna, but besides having to keep up with roots, the thing that gives me pause is grey hair. I would enjoy grey hairs. That would mean probably stopping henna and I would have to grow it out. I don't like the thought of growing it out.

[Aredhel]

I have quite a few and I'm only 26. Unfortunately people grey early on both sides of my family, and even more unfortunately, it's very apparent on dark hair. :( I'm sad about them, but I have no immediate plans to hide them with dye or anything, I'm pretty pro-natural hair these days. :) If I do decide to, I'll probably go the indigo route.

[Zebra]

I hear you on being thought I was younger. I was 21 and mistaken for a middle schooler because I helped in the youth group. When I was 27, I was working with the HS students on a float and a mom came over to introduce herself to the new student.... yep, she thought it was me despite the fact that I was wearing one of the school shirts that only teachers and board members can get.

I am 34 now and think I look my age, or at least in my late 20s. I have 4 white hairs on my temple since I was 16. I see zero signs of grey otherwise. I have been thinking about henna, but besides having to keep up with roots, the thing that gives me pause is grey hair. I would enjoy grey hairs. That would mean probably stopping henna and I would have to grow it out. I don't like the thought of growing it out.

I look like a teenager. Last time I was with my friend taking her dog to the vet they took x-ray pictures. The nurse almost made me leave the room because she thought I was under 18. I was also offered childrens menu on a restaurant few months ago. And I am almost 30. I am kind of short so when people see somebody much smaller than themselves their mind gets confused I guess. I am really looking forward to looking older. Gray hair would propably be helpful. I wish my greys were more noticeable. They tend to blend in a bit too well.

[ghanima]

If I looked like a teenager I think I would be in no hurry to look older :p.

[Zebra]

If I looked like a teenager I think I would be in no hurry to look older :p.

It does have a positive side. :D I am not always very good in this adulting thing so if I looked my age I wouldn't get away with it so easily. :p

[tlatzoteotl]

I don't look like a teenager anymore (I'm told I look like I'm late 20s to early 30s), but when I did it was very annoying. Can you imagine being a 31 year old mother of a toddler with people giving you death glares because they think you must have gotten pregnant in high school? It was really annoying. Thankfully I haven't had problems at work. I've been here since just before I turned 21 ... 18 years. My boss appreciates me and so do the teachers, so that's pretty great.

[Gem]

I don't look like a teenager anymore (I'm told I look like I'm late 20s to early 30s), but when I did it was very annoying. Can you imagine being a 31 year old mother of a toddler with people giving you death glares because they think you must have gotten pregnant in high school? It was really annoying.

I'm 33 with a nine-year-old who is tall for her age. I appreciate every silver hair that suggests I am not 25.