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lihoda
October 26th, 2017, 03:40 AM
I used to dislike my hair texture as its really curly (a mixture of 3A & 3B) so i straightened my hair almost everyday for 6 and a half years. Within the first year or two of straightening my hair everyday, my hair was thinning a lot but i dint know it was because of the heat damage as all of my at school friends used to straighten their hair everyday and theirs didn't fall out. I started wearing hair extensions as my hair got thinner and thinner year by year. In April 2017 I finally decided to go natural and stopped using heat. moisturised my hair, did scalp massages and applied lots of oils. I wear curly hair extensions and do low manipulated hair styles. I've also started to eat healthy and increase my protein intake as well as iron, vitamin C etc. So far my hair has grown a tiny bit and has become slightly thicker however I miss having hair down and I'm tired of these low manipulation hairstyles, but I'm not confident enough with it down due to how thin it has become.

Ive had several breakdowns and have become so fed up of this hair journey. I just want my hair to be healthy, long and thicker and I'm tired of wearing hair extensions.

LadyCelestina
October 26th, 2017, 04:55 AM
Patience. I know it's hard. Ideally, put down the extensions and chop off as much of the damage as you can, either at once or through microtrimming. You sound like you are quite young, you'll still be attractive with shorter curls, it's fashionable these days.

Hair only grows a bit over 1cm a month on average, so the damage from your previous habits is definitely still there.

PixieP
October 26th, 2017, 05:34 AM
You're not depressed; depression is a real illness, not a feeling you get from thin hair. You're sad and frustrated.

Wearing extensions is not helping you. Extensions wear on the hair.

Beeboo123
October 26th, 2017, 05:42 AM
I second what PixieP said. Please don’t throw the word “depression” around, it trivializes the sufferings of people who have it. “Depressed” is not an emotion.

It has only been 6 months since you stopped abusing your hair. It takes time for hair to grow out, you can’t expect a full head of undamaged hair in that time. The hair that you’ve fried will never become as healthy as virgin hair, the damage will have to be cut off. Your extensions aren’t doing you any favors either. All you can do is wait for your hair to grow out. Perhaps bun or braid it, if you’re embarrassed to wear it loose.

lapushka
October 26th, 2017, 05:56 AM
So far my hair has grown a tiny bit and has become slightly thicker however I miss having hair down and I'm tired of these low manipulation hairstyles, but I'm not confident enough with it down due to how thin it has become.

Ive had several breakdowns and have become so fed up of this hair journey. I just want my hair to be healthy, long and thicker and I'm tired of wearing hair extensions.

I understand. Really I do.

When I was 13/14 my hair started falling out in clumps due to hormonal changes and there was nothing that could be done. I too increased my vitamin intake and had a scalp lotion that I applied (Bioscalin at the time). It took 2 years until the bald spots were grown back and my hair was at least OK up till shoulder.

Hang in there. It is hard until your hair grows back in. I know just how you feel, and it can make you feel seriously down. The growing back in can take at least 2 to 3 years because it's like starting from a shaved head. But we'll help you out with any questions you have.

Just stick with it.

Is it really that bad that you have to wear extensions, because they can be damaging in and of themselves, especially with daily wear.

You could post some pictures here if you'd like, your hair fully natural without extensions, and we'll take a look at it for you. Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is? :flower:

lihoda
October 26th, 2017, 06:13 AM
You're not depressed; depression is a real illness, not a feeling you get from thin hair. You're sad and frustrated.

Wearing extensions is not helping you. Extensions wear on the hair.

I have been diagnosed with depression three years ago by my GP. Hair loss has really lowered my self esteem and has made me feel hopeless as society considers it
as socially unacceptable so I've suffered in silence for a few years.

lihoda
October 26th, 2017, 06:14 AM
yes its that bad that I have to wear hair extensions, I don't feel comfortable posting a pic of it because i'm ashamed

LadyCelestina
October 26th, 2017, 06:28 AM
Extensions might make the hairloss even worse though, they can lead to bald spots. Would a wig be an option?

Also are you sure the hairloss is only caused by flatiron? Could it be health related?

Rockin' Gramma
October 26th, 2017, 06:29 AM
lihoda, I'm glad you decided to come here and get help with your hair. This community is a safe and supportive place for you to talk about your hair and learn from others here who have been where you are now. No one is going to laugh at your hair if you feel you want to post a photo. It's one of the ways people can help you here, but not the only way.

There's lots to read on this forum about other people's experiences that are similar to yours. Keep coming back and start today to plan for a healthier hair future. It is possible and you can do it. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start those healthier steps today.

lihoda
October 26th, 2017, 06:41 AM
I always thought my hair loss would be caused by heat styling as my hair my hair would break a lot. I used to be anemic and I am vitamin D deficient. Maybe lack of vitamin D can also lead to hair loss?

lihoda
October 26th, 2017, 06:42 AM
lihoda, I'm glad you decided to come here and get help with your hair. This community is a safe and supportive place for you to talk about your hair and learn from others here who have been where you are now. No one is going to laugh at your hair if you feel you want to post a photo. It's one of the ways people can help you here, but not the only way.

There's lots to read on this forum about other people's experiences that are similar to yours. Keep coming back and start today to plan for a healthier hair future. It is possible and you can do it. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start those healthier steps today.

Thank you so so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it

Lady Stardust
October 26th, 2017, 06:47 AM
Welcome to the forum! There are so many knowledgeable ladies and gents on here I'm sure they'll be able to give advice and encouragement as you grow.

My hair type is completely different to yours so I can't offer any practical advice, but I can offer plenty of encouragement. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through such hard times. It's really important to remind yourself of the positive steps you have already taken. Your hair and your health will get better and better.

We are all our own worst critic so try not to be too hard on yourself. Good luck x

Aredhel
October 26th, 2017, 06:56 AM
I always thought my hair loss would be caused by heat styling as my hair my hair would break a lot. I used to be anemic and I am vitamin D deficient. Maybe lack of vitamin D can also lead to hair loss?

Vitamin D deficiency can definitely cause hair loss. So can anemia. If you are still deficient in vitamin D, can you take a supplement or look into upping your intake in foods that contain vitamin D? Bear in mind of course that even if your vitamin levels stabilize, it will take quite some time to notice any change in your hair thickness or quality, since it will only have an effect on new growth, not your existing hair. :) So be patient as well! :)

Welcome to the forum!:cheese:

Kae612
October 26th, 2017, 07:32 AM
<3 I too had an upsetting few years with my hair as a younger person. I understand that it can really impact your mental health, for me it was a bit of a cycle of anxiety that caused and resulted from my hair damage. At around 12 I started pulling out my hair compulsively (it has the lovely name "trichotillomania") and I had bald spots. I went to hair dressers and my mom thought it would be best to buzz it very close which made the damage very visible and didn't stop the pulling. Over the next few years it grew out a bit, but awkwardly. The back of my head was the part I didn't pull from and I hated to cut it shorter because it was the part that was actually growing, so I effectively had a very ugly mullet thing with bald spots for a few years.

The thing is that you are not your hair. Hair, pretty or damaged or gone, is not who you are. I had truly bad hair for years of my life, and you know what, my life went on. I made friends, and I had positive experiences during that time. I was in a play in high school. I had math class, I had all these other things to think about that wasn't my hair. It was a sore spot for a long time, but it wasn't everything. And hair recovers. Like people have mentioned, it will take a while, but it does.

And short hair can be absolutely gorgeous, especially with curls. I see a few girls around my university now with closely buzzed or shaved heads that look stunning. Short curly hair is more common, often with longer styled sections on top and closer cut sides. It might be worth looking for a curly hair stylist who can cut a short style you will like. You can also start looking up pictures of short curly haircuts that you like, maybe friends can help you look up some. <3 Good luck!

*Wednesday*
October 26th, 2017, 09:21 AM
Hello and welcome.

Having blood work done by a doctor will advise you if you are deficient with certain vitamins (iron, D). If your levels aren’t low on Iron/ferritin taking too much iron can cause hair loss as well and also be toxic. Green leafy veggies provide good digestible iron. Be careful with iron supplementation. If you are low, a doctor will prescribe how much iron you should take as there are also time released iron.

Are you diagnosed with clinical depression? Rhetorical question. Depression can affect the thyroid which can cause hair loss, mood swings etc. Just throwing that out there and worth discussion with your physician if you are under medical treatment.

I agree with the other ladies. Extensions are not good for the hair. They aren’t good for your hair follicles. It stresses the follicle. Keep taking care of your hair. It takes time.
Many of us here abused our hair. You will get there with patience. The community is a wonderful one here

Jo Ann
October 26th, 2017, 12:32 PM
About 13 years ago, I went through a very bad time--my boyfriend of 11 years had passed away, my two younger sons were with an older brother of theirs about 600 miles away and my oldest son was 1200 miles away. I was severely depressed and suffered anxiety and panic attacks--I self-committed to a mental health facility to learn how to work on ME and getting my life back together. The meds I was on from hospital were heavy-duty and I wasn't feeling any better. I moved back to FL from NJ and started therapy and support group sessions.

My therapist changed my meds and I went from sleeping 15-18 hours a day to starting to feel more like my old self. Between my move and starting my therapy, I failed utterly to take care of my appearance--the one thing that suffered most was my hair. It was just past bra-strap length (BSL) and it was one of the most matted, knotted and snarled messes you can imagine!

I had to start making it a habit again to take care of my hair--brushing it daily, washing it every few days and getting it back into some semblance of presentable. It had the most pregnant split ends you could imagine (I called them "Christmas trees") and, from the meds I had been on and my neglect, I had some major shedding. Gradually, as taking care of my hair became habit, I went to have the splits brought under better control--I lost about eight inches of hair, but it looked healthier and I started to regain my thickness. It took about five years (and a couple of over-generous trims by the hairdresser) before my hair started looking and feeling like it used to be. I was a long-time lurker here and learned an awful lot about bringing out the best of my hair. The support here is amazing!

My point is that it will take time for your hair to recover. Now is the best time to start developing habits to help you and your hair become the best you can be! Taking care of your vitamin and mineral deficiencies will help your hair and your body as you go on to recovery.

I wish you the very best of luck!

Wildcat Diva
October 26th, 2017, 09:34 PM
I second what PixieP said. Please don’t throw the word “depression” around, it trivializes the sufferings of people who have it. “Depressed” is not an emotion.

It has only been 6 months since you stopped abusing your hair. It takes time for hair to grow out, you can’t expect a full head of undamaged hair in that time. The hair that you’ve fried will never become as healthy as virgin hair, the damage will have to be cut off. Your extensions aren’t doing you any favors either. All you can do is wait for your hair to grow out. Perhaps bun or braid it, if you’re embarrassed to wear it loose.

I diagnose depression and other mental health conditions for a living, and while I know exactly what the illness is, people often talk about “feeling depressed” and I often use those words to describe emotion when feeling down, not necessarily when they meet a certain criteria. Clinically, it’s used to describe one’s “affect”, or emotional presentation in a clinical visit: “depressed affect.” It’s quite common to use the word “depressed” as an emotion; and I don’t consider it to be incorrect. (For some reason this common use irritates me much less than the folks who casually say they “are OCD.”)

vega
October 27th, 2017, 06:04 PM
That's just your option Pixie, you simply cannot diagnose peoples depression....

ReptilianFeline
October 28th, 2017, 02:33 AM
Extensions are bad for your hair and might even damage your scalp. I've considered getting some clip-on extensions myself, but then I remember what that hairclip holding my ponytail did to my hair, shewing away on any new growth closest to the clip, and I stop myself. Then of course, if the extension is made from real hair, the risk is that it's made from Indian hair given to the hindu gods for free and turned into a profit by some slavedriving "idiots".

As for depression... weither or not is a clinical one or just a feeling, emotions do play havoc with our hair.... fiddling with the hair, scratching the scalp, pulling... all things that might be done in an overly emotional state is damaging to the hair. Recognising that is a step forward.

Suze
October 28th, 2017, 06:59 AM
lihoda, I'm glad you decided to come here and get help with your hair. This community is a safe and supportive place for you to talk about your hair and learn from others here who have been where you are now. No one is going to laugh at your hair if you feel you want to post a photo. It's one of the ways people can help you here, but not the only way.

There's lots to read on this forum about other people's experiences that are similar to yours. Keep coming back and start today to plan for a healthier hair future. It is possible and you can do it. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start those healthier steps today.

I can just feel the kindness in your words. This is a really sweet post. :o
---

Welcome Lihoda, I know it is very hard when you suffer from something like this that you feel is beyond your power and on top of that something you feel you have to hide. Sometimes though, things are so much worse in our minds. That's why it may be helpful to you to post a picture. You do not have to of course, only if you feel comfortable with it. Best of luck to you! :)

Serimel
October 28th, 2017, 12:03 PM
Welcome lihoda. Thank you for sharing your story and you've certainly come to the right place for help and support! Hope you find new tools to combat your hair issues, gain more self esteem and learn some patience in you hair journey. I've gotten these all since joining one year ago, patience being the most useful tool of all. Little by little hair will grow as surely as the sun rises every morning.

lapushka
October 28th, 2017, 03:47 PM
How's things going now, lihoda? We haven't heard from you in a few days. :flower:

Natashap
December 4th, 2017, 03:28 AM
oh my ..same here...no growth in 365 days .....what happened?

Probably my diet is to blame as it was not much healthy or planned ....just ate like crap and not on schedule.

Need to fix that and take my biotin gummies daily.

Need to apply minoxidil spray for 3 months and see.

spidermom
December 4th, 2017, 06:53 AM
I second or third the opinion that a new, shorter haircut might make you feel better about your hair again. A year ago, I realized that I wasn't enjoying my long hair anymore and had it cut to shoulder length. It was exactly the change I needed! People are right - extensions aren't doing you any favors. They can cause the hair to break off.

And from Google:

de·pressed
dəˈprest/
adjective



(of a person) in a state of general unhappiness or despondency.


synonyms:
sad, unhappy, miserable, gloomy, glum, melancholy, dejected, disconsolate, downhearted, downcast, down, despondent, dispirited, low, heavy-hearted, morose, dismal, desolate

auroramichelle
December 31st, 2017, 12:56 AM
I feel this on a daily basis. I’ve been growing my hair out for 2 & 1/2 years now. No dying it, taking vitamins, not using too much heat, taking vitamins, deep conditioning, etc, it’s definitely gotten longer. But growth seems to have stopped or at least significantly slowed down for the past 6 or 7 months. Not to mention, it’s extremely, obviously fine & thin. No matter what style I wear it in, you can tell how thin it is. Not to mention - I’m in cosmetology school. So I’m dealing with people who have gorgeous hair on a daily basis who color, heat style & don’t take care of their hair at all and still have gorgeous hair meanwhile I take great care of mine & nothing I do increased the thickness. I thought it would look better if it was at least longer - it’s going to be thin whether it’s short or long so I’d rather it be long at least but, if anything it looks worse. It’s very very hard on self esteem, especially when you’re doing everything right with no results. That being said, hang in there girl. Find something else to emphasize about your appearance to distract from your hair. For me it’s winged eyeliner & colorful eyeshadows because I like my eyes. But you can pick anything really.

ElisabethS
January 1st, 2018, 12:42 PM
Green leafy veggies provide good digestible iron.


iron from veggies is non-heme iron and is not as easily absorbed as heme iron from animal foods, especially liver.

christinamaria
January 1st, 2018, 01:12 PM
Their comments were quite unnecessary in my opinion. One can think oneself into depression, so I don't understand why anybody would think twice about why you said you got depressed by losing so much hair. It's not "trivializing" the suffering of anybody with a clinical depression. Depression is an illness that comes in different degrees of severity and is more common than one might think.