Haircut Pressure and Regret

[Quiet Sky]

Hello everyone! I have had an account here for years but never started a forum. Anyways, I am a college student who has always wanted tailbone or even classic length hair. I was well on my way to reaching that but a few months ago I gave into pressure from my family to layer and trim it. I quietly asked the hairdresser to spare as much length as possible and they seemed to comply. I am so upset and I wish I set my foot down! It still looks pretty long I guess but it's still a setback. Objectively, it's just hair but it feels like all that hard work taking care of it was wasted. The first photos with the great lighting showing off the brown was from this last March. The red shirt indoor one was from a few months before that.The daylight photo was my hair right after it got cut in June, along with the indoor sitting one. It's been a couple months since and I'm doing everything I can to hopefully speed growth. I've never measured my hair or anything though. If anyone has any of their experiences or anything else to share feel free!

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170330_194050-1_zps1zqpgs4q.jpg.html?sort=3&o=1

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170104_003341-2_zpsylo0zoix.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170629_164853_zpsjhbb02sh.jpg.html?sort=3&o=2

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170629_162305_zpsgfsmp5o6.jpg.html?sort=3&o=4

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170629_162305_zpsgfsmp5o6.jpg.html?sort=3&o=4

[Quiet Sky]

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170330_194050-1_zps1zqpgs4q.jpg.html?sort=3&o=1

I am testing trying to get the photo to show here and not through a link. This is the precut one.

[Quiet Sky]

Guess it doesn't work. Oh well!

[alimc]

It makes me so sad that you were pretty much forced to do something you didn't want to..... :(
however, you have learned from the experience..... you don't want to cut your hair, you are now an adult who can make her own decisions and say no, and nobody should be allowed to take away your power to make your own decisions! (Even strong-willed mothers :wink:)
It will grow back..... :blossom:

[HeartofHaleth]

Got the photo working for you!

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170330_194050-1_zps1zqpgs4q.jpg.html

[MidnightMoon]

I just see the photobucket logo. They've changed their terms, and now images hosted on their site won't show up when linked somewhere else unless you pay :rolleyes:

[Jo Ann]

Oh, Quiet Sky, I am so sorry! Families think they mean well, but ultimately, they are not the ones that have to live with the decisions they pressure others to make.

It sounds like some member of your family went with you when you got your hair cut and made the suggestions to the stylist and you had almost no input. It also sounds like the hairdresser's idea and your idea of keeping as much length as possible were two different concepts. I'm not able to see your pictures, but I've been there and done that before, frequently getting the short end of the bargain. I got nagged, begged, cried and pled into going from MBL to a short shag back in my teens. It was an ugly grow out, and I didn't appreciate resembling a perpetually offended porcupine or some wildly exotic bird from the pages of National Geographic for a couple of years. And no, you can not see my senior portrait, either :shocked:

My suggestion would be in the future to tell the family member(s) politely but firmly "thanks but no thanks" if they do this again. If they persist, tell them thank you for the suggestion and you'll keep it in mind then go on your merry way. It's your hair and they shouldn't have much say how you wear it.

[QuoteTheCrow]

I can't see your pictures, but my advice would be to try to find some silver lining and don't let it get you down. It's so hard not to look in the mirror every day and compare it to what you saw yesterday, so maybe set a goal date for a few months from now and then take some pictures to compare. Hopefully, when you put those side-by-side with the "after haircut" pictures, you'll see improvements and changes already.

I'm sorry you're going through this and feeling bad. I reread your post and when you said that you whispered to the hairdresser and they "seemed to comply," that brings back a bad memory for me, too, where I told a hairdresser once exactly what I wanted but she cut my hair like she was "Edward Scissorhands," super-fast and with no real rhyme or reason, and ultimately did what SHE wanted to do rather than what I'd requested. It's a horrible feeling to give up that much control, or to have it taken from you.

You'll get through this. I'm new to the forum but since you've had an account for so long, I hope you'll find some reasons to stick around! Good luck with school and here's to quick growth! :-)

[Alibran]

Got the photo working for you!

I think you've just broken Quiet Sky's photobucket account by doing that. Now her photos aren't visible on the photobucket site either because she's tried to use '3rd party hosting' without paying for it.

[spidermom]

I know it's pretty awful to end up with a haircut that you didn't want. I think we've all been there. I agree with above - since you can't change it, try to make the most of it. There are fun styles you can do at every length, so get creative; have fun while your hair grows.

[ReadingRenee]

Your hair is still long and very pretty! I understand being upset about being forced to do something though. If you didn't want it, it doesn't matter how it looks in the end. I am sorry. :( I was able to see 3 out of the 4 pictures by opening the image in a new tab.

[HeartofHaleth]

I think you've just broken Quiet Sky's photobucket account by doing that. Now her photos aren't visible on the photobucket site either because she's tried to use '3rd party hosting' without paying for it.

I could see it before, but now I can't? I'm sorry if I messed anything up, I was trying to help...:(

[Nymphe]

I could see it before, but now I can't? I'm sorry if I messed anything up, I was trying to help...:(

Don't worry. I can see her lovely hair just fine from the links she posted.

[Alibran]

Don't worry. I can see her lovely hair just fine from the links she posted.

Really? All I'm getting when I click them is the 'please update your account to allow 3rd party hosting' message.

[Nymphe]

Really? All I'm getting when I click them is the 'please update your account to allow 3rd party hosting' message.

I am on a Kindle right now, no Photobucket account on here.

[wo]

I can see your pictures, and your hair is still long and beautiful! But I know if you don't like it, hearing that from someone else doesn't help much. I hope you will grow it out to whatever style you want now.

[Quiet Sky]

Thanks to everyone that's replied so far. I feel better. I was nagged for months over how heavy my hair looked and how it made my face look thinner. It was also "not modern", like that matters. It wore me down and I gave in to make it stop. I've continued my coconut oiling but I've now added rosemary/lavender/peppermint eos. I'm taking my vitamins and eating a high protein/no added sugar diet, along with trying the inversion method. Hopefully it takes me back to where I was sooner. The biggest annoyance is how the layers stick out when I braid now. Compared to other unwanted haircuts, I know mine wasn't much of an extreme change in length so I shouldn't feel too bad. I'll try to figure out the photobucket issues. Going through this has made me realize how much hair can be part of an identity. It felt like a part of me was gone seeing the locks on the floor. Not sure whether this is an unhealthy attachment or not.

[Stray_mind]

Your hair still looks very pretty and long and i like the U shaped hemline going on.

However i know how bad it feels to be constantly pressured into something, to the point you finally crack. I'be been there.

But try to think positive: with this cut you can grow out even thicker, even healthier hemline. It will take some patience, but it will definitely grow back. :blossom:

[Quiet Sky]

URL=http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170907_114654_zps2vhbdokl.jpg.html]http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e30/LML199/20170907_114654_zps2vhbdokl.jpg[/URL]

Hopefully this works. It's a photo from today.

[Quiet Sky]

Yes! I figured it out! :)

[Quiet Sky]

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e30/LML199/20170629_162305_zpsgfsmp5o6.jpg (http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170629_162305_zpsgfsmp5o6.jpg.html)

This was right after the cut.

And this photo is pre-cut.
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e30/LML199/20170330_194050-1_zps1zqpgs4q.jpg (http://s36.photobucket.com/user/LML199/media/20170330_194050-1_zps1zqpgs4q.jpg.html)

[Estrid]

Yes! I figured it out! :)

Photobucket won't show photos anymore unless you pay quite a lot of money, many have already abandoned it for sites like imgur, I can not see any of your photos and I'm surprised anyone else can.
I'm sure your hair is still long and lovely :) It sucks to have it cut more than you want. I also have some growing to do, but in my case it was my own fault. Luckily hair does grow back, it's just a waiting game.

[Quiet Sky]

Thanks for your kind words Stray Mind! I actually was having issues with split ends and was starting to have a hard time keeping up with the search and destroy method.

[Quiet Sky]

Photobucket won't show photos anymore unless you pay quite a lot of money, many have already abandoned it for sites like imgur, I can not see any of your photos and I'm surprised anyone else can.
I'm sure your hair is still long and lovely :) It sucks to have it cut more than you want. I also have some growing to do, but in my case it was my own fault. Luckily hair does grow back, it's just a waiting game.

I'll probably switch to imgur then. I'm seeing the photos directly on the thread now and thought everyone else now could too. Thanks for your words as well!

[Cherriezzzzz]

Yes I too prefer your before hair! Girl that just means YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE! It will be easy to let it get longer. This is a learned lesson. They want to make you look updated like everyone else. Well sorry folks! THIS GAL AIN'T EVERYONE ELSE! You have perfect hair. Hair women are jealous of! You are young still so if you can learn this lesson now you're way ahead of the curve. Be true to you and your style. Your hair was made to be long and one length. Don't feel bad now though. Grow that cute haircut straight past your butt and let everyone else kiss it!

And maybe join the second half of 2017 no trim challenge AND 2018 no trim challenge AND you'll be longer by new years 2019 then you were in your before pics :magic:

[Dendra]

I'm sorry you were pressurised to cut :( but like Cherriezzzzz says this just means that you now know for sure what you like and your great taste can guide you from here on out! You do have very lovely hair, so just keep on growin' :flowers:

[luxurioushair]

I understand how it must feel to lose hair, even if it is still long. Hang in there, it will grow back in no time.

I look forward to seeing your layered style whenver you abandon Photobucket...lol

[enting]

Tell them long hair is in fashion this year, so you're growing it back out. I don't know if it's unhealthy or not to have such a strong attachment to hair, all I know is that it is a pretty common thing. I can't tell you how many times I went in to a hairdresser and said "just the split ends, please" and then shut my eyes and tried to ignore what they were cutting off. The last time I had a "trim" from a hairdresser my hair barely reached BSL. It looked great, but it was so much shorter!

Would using a paranda made of yarn/ribbon/false hair fiber help make you feel better about the loss of length until it grows back? I think some members have ways of wrapping the paranda strands around one's own hair to prevent having as much braid shred. Adding a tiny dab of gel might keep those tips in line. It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff to maximize your regrowth.

[Quiet Sky]

Tell them long hair is in fashion this year, so you're growing it back out. I don't know if it's unhealthy or not to have such a strong attachment to hair, all I know is that it is a pretty common thing. I can't tell you how many times I went in to a hairdresser and said "just the split ends, please" and then shut my eyes and tried to ignore what they were cutting off. The last time I had a "trim" from a hairdresser my hair barely reached BSL. It looked great, but it was so much shorter!

Would using a paranda made of yarn/ribbon/false hair fiber help make you feel better about the loss of length until it grows back? I think some members have ways of wrapping the paranda strands around one's own hair to prevent having as much braid shred. Adding a tiny dab of gel might keep those tips in line. It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff to maximize your regrowth.


I've never heard of a paranda before but I'm intrigued. They look beautiful based on my google search! Thanks for the suggestion! The hairdresser did a pretty good job on me as well and tried to spare as many inches as possible while still adding in the layers/ovaling, so I'm not upset with her, but with how I was pressured into it.

[Quiet Sky]

Ok, I'm trying again this time on imgur! Let me know if they're finally visible!

Precut
https://i.imgur.com/3U4nDZb.jpg

Immediately Post-Cut (June)
https://i.imgur.com/cBNAxdD.jpg

Today
https://i.imgur.com/dVuroBU.jpg

[Quiet Sky]

Noticing that the layers are barely noticeable. The hemline no longer looks as neat and uniform in the today photo so I'm optimistic it's growth.

[Nymphe]

Pics are clear as day. You are right; the cut gave you more flyaways. Lesson learned, right?

[QuoteTheCrow]

I can see your pictures now! Whatever you did, keep it up. :-)
Your hair was and still is beautiful, and at least now you know exactly what you want and don't want. Happy growing!

[Quiet Sky]

Yes I too prefer your before hair! Girl that just means YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE! It will be easy to let it get longer. This is a learned lesson. They want to make you look updated like everyone else. Well sorry folks! THIS GAL AIN'T EVERYONE ELSE! You have perfect hair. Hair women are jealous of! You are young still so if you can learn this lesson now you're way ahead of the curve. Be true to you and your style. Your hair was made to be long and one length. Don't feel bad now though. Grow that cute haircut straight past your butt and let everyone else kiss it!

And maybe join the second half of 2017 no trim challenge AND 2018 no trim challenge AND you'll be longer by new years 2019 then you were in your before pics :magic:

You're pumping me up! :D I always wanted to go for that Victorianesque look! As Nymphe pointed out it this cut defintely has given more flyaways so 1 length and blunted does seem to suit me better.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Ooh, you have such beautiful hair! And welcome to the LHC! :D

[Jo Ann]

It looks like your hairdresser tried to please everyone and gave you a V-shaped cut! Looked great before and looks great now!

I understand about the braids, too. Welcome to LHC and you're on your way to a fantastic growing out! :)

[Deborah]

It is still nice and long, and many people prefer that v shape you have now. Don't let it get you down. If you want it longer, just hang around. Hair grows all by itself!

[DancingGirl]

I can see them now and you're hair is beautiful :crush: Sorry you were pressured to cut it

[enting]

Your hair is beautiful! I can see how it might feel a lot shorter due to the sides being much shorter. Whenever I've had a V cut, I feel like all my hair is the length of the sides because that's what I see and feel most.

It may just be how your hair was lying in the "before" picture, but it looks a tad shorter in the middle. If so, your sides might grow faster which would compensate for them being shorter as you grow it back out. If it's just how your hair was lying then never mind. Either way it looks gorgeous and healthy with a lot of capacity to grow.

[lapushka]

I have to say. I like the before (blunt cut), but also the after (layered). I rely heavily on layers to get my hair to this length in the first place as it's a iii and to me totally unmanageable as a blunt cut. It is just what you prefer.

If you feel uncomfortable with the cut, it will grow and in about a year you'll be right back at where you were. It looks like it was about just above your jeans and now it is a bit higher than that. It will grow and now you've learned a valued and valuable lesson not to listen to anyone when it comes to your hair.

Honestly, I was expecting a more drastic change, but thankfully it is not that. You might feel that it is (and of course totally understandable), but it's not that bad just from looking at it, IMMHO.

[luxurioushair]

Honestly it looks really nice, but of course you have a right to be upset about the loss of length

[valkyrie90]

Your hair looks absolutely beautiful to me before and after the cut so don't feel so bad about it . It's not a good feeling when you're pressured to do something you don't like , though . I know how it feels . My mom used to take me to hairdresser to chop my hair off every time it reached shoulder length . She stayed there to make sure that they did a big chop that brought my hair back to a pixie or chin length at least . Back then I was still a kid and I didn't mind my hair long or short . So both me and my little sis used to wear our hair short as my mom does . Until my sis started to realize she looks better with long hair she grew it out and to my surprise my mom didn't say anything about that . Until I decided to do the same . I started to dye it and grow it out and my mom made a fuss about it . Now that I'm not a little kid anymore I can take care of my hair and do whatever I want with it . You should too , quiet sky . Your hair is so beautiful and it will grow back in no time . Don't pay much attention and it will grow before you know !

[Quiet Sky]

Your hair looks absolutely beautiful to me before and after the cut so don't feel so bad about it . It's not a good feeling when you're pressured to do something you don't like , though . I know how it feels . My mom used to take me to hairdresser to chop my hair off every time it reached shoulder length . She stayed there to make sure that they did a big chop that brought my hair back to a pixie or chin length at least . Back then I was still a kid and I didn't mind my hair long or short . So both me and my little sis used to wear our hair short as my mom does . Until my sis started to realize she looks better with long hair she grew it out and to my surprise my mom didn't say anything about that . Until I decided to do the same . I started to dye it and grow it out and my mom made a fuss about it . Now that I'm not a little kid anymore I can take care of my hair and do whatever I want with it . You should too , quiet sky . Your hair is so beautiful and it will grow back in no time . Don't pay much attention and it will grow before you know !

Thanks. I can really relate to your mom making a fuss about growing out. I've had to put up with it for years!

[Quiet Sky]

I have to say. I like the before (blunt cut), but also the after (layered). I rely heavily on layers to get my hair to this length in the first place as it's a iii and to me totally unmanageable as a blunt cut. It is just what you prefer.

If you feel uncomfortable with the cut, it will grow and in about a year you'll be right back at where you were. It looks like it was about just above your jeans and now it is a bit higher than that. It will grow and now you've learned a valued and valuable lesson not to listen to anyone when it comes to your hair.

Honestly, I was expecting a more drastic change, but thankfully it is not that. You might feel that it is (and of course totally understandable), but it's not that bad just from looking at it, IMMHO.

Looking at it objectively, I agree it is not drastic! But my feelings say otherwise. *sigh*

[Quiet Sky]

Tell them long hair is in fashion this year, so you're growing it back out. I don't know if it's unhealthy or not to have such a strong attachment to hair, all I know is that it is a pretty common thing. I can't tell you how many times I went in to a hairdresser and said "just the split ends, please" and then shut my eyes and tried to ignore what they were cutting off. The last time I had a "trim" from a hairdresser my hair barely reached BSL. It looked great, but it was so much shorter!

Would using a paranda made of yarn/ribbon/false hair fiber help make you feel better about the loss of length until it grows back? I think some members have ways of wrapping the paranda strands around one's own hair to prevent having as much braid shred. Adding a tiny dab of gel might keep those tips in line. It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff to maximize your regrowth.

I looked up how to make one. The tricky part is getting the hang of weaving it in neatly, but it's looking great! I'm excited about all the different colors and fabrics I can use. :)

[YumiYume]

Wow, first, with no pictures, i thought it had to look like a stripy stringy mess (like mine did) growing out, and she wanted you to look "presentibel" but it looked so well cared off! And the ends blunt and nice! It did not look like a tangled ratcage eather, i dont understand the haircut fuss at all :(

It do look nice after cut to, but the hairdresser really made a super deep v-cut :/

Maby start to bun it and wear pretty hairtoys, then they wont notice that it has grown all back in no time :o sending happy growing thoughts to you :)