I'm ready to accept my gray hair - new advice needed -

[Lisa-K]

It took me a solid year, but after going back & forth between different options and ideas to dye it, I've now come to the point where I'm like: "Why bother? It's going gray and that's okay!"

It's been a long process to accept it and to genuinely like my hair the way it naturally is now. The only thing that does bother me about it is the texture. Fact is: it's not only the pigments that are gone, but the texture is also very different. It doesn't look very neat, because my pigmented hair is all nice and smooth, while the gray strands go all wiry and stick out on top of my head. I seem to always look a bit messy these days. If the texture was as slick at the rest of my hair, I'd be 100% happy with the color.

So, I read a few articles about the subject, and apparently, when hair loses its pigments, it also loses its natural oils and becomes dry and brittle. It sticks out like some coarse mess, and is more prone to breakage on the long run. (Great) Now that I've come to the point where I accept my natural color, I have another battle on my hands: the messy texture! In this article (http://www.livestrong.com/article/149398-why-does-older-hair-begin-to-grow-in-coarse-kinky/) they mention this:


Use a hair serum that contains silicone that will adhere to your hair shaft, creating a smooth, protective layer around your thinned cuticle, recommends Gillespie in "More" magazine. Also in "More" magazine, Korb suggests a weekly at-home glossing treatment and deep conditioning session to prevent damage to thinner cuticles and to smooth coarse hair.



What do you guys think about using silicone? I keep reading about people on this forum avoiding silicone like the plague. Should I avoid it too in this particular case?

[MidnightMoon]

Not everyone avoids silicones here, in fact, many actually need them. My hair would be full of knots and tangles and literally impossible to comb if it weren't because I use conditioner with silicones.
However, people will advice you to clarify every now and then. You can add oil to your routine as well.
I spent my whole childhood and teen years not knowing about sulfate and silicones and all that and had normal hair. It was thicker than now, anyway, so don't take every advice here so seriously. People do and use whatever works for their hair.

[Obsidian]

Welcome to the gray side, I'm also starting to grow mine out:) Personally, I love silicones. It keeps my frizzies under control and reduces tangles. There is nothing inherently bad about silicones, though some hair doesn't like it. All you can do is try it out and see how it goes.
Do you use oil at all? Thats also worth a try if you don't want to try silicones just yet. I really like avocado oil.

[Lisa-K]

Yes, I use oil on a daily basis. I particularly love Extraordinary Oil by L'Oreal. Just one little pump, and my hair looks amazing. I also sometimes use jojoba in small amounts, and coconut in even smaller amounts (unless I'm slathering it all over my head for a deep conditioning treatment, which doesn't happen too often).

The problem is that if I use enough for the gray to be tamed, that means I use too much for the hair that is still pigmented, which in turn makes my hair look too greasy. So it's a tough balance. I think about 10% of my hair is gray now. So, 90% is still "normal". I just hate the frizzy gray hair that sticks out.

[Obsidian]

I do believe the serums in that line all contain cones, have you checked the ingredients?

[Lisa-K]

I do believe the serums in that line all contain cones, have you checked the ingredients?

Nope! I think quickly glanced over it at one point and didn't understand any of the jibberish. Then I figured I didn't care anyway since it makes my hair look fantastic. Haha!! I'll go check the bottle in a minute.

[saff.cel]

Hello Lisa! What is your LHC hair type?

[Lisa-K]

Hello Lisa! What is your LHC hair type?

I don't know, I never understood anything about it.

[lapushka]

Nope! I think quickly glanced over it at one point and didn't understand any of the jibberish. Then I figured I didn't care anyway since it makes my hair look fantastic. Haha!! I'll go check the bottle in a minute.

You do have to have a basic understanding of whether or not your product contains silicones or not, because of the need to clarify or not. :flower: Otherwise, maybe mention the brands and kinds of products you're using so we can help out.

[Anje]

I find some silicones drying, so I tend to avoid them and use the ones that work for me in rather limited amounts. Start out with just reading and looking up ingredients in your products, and you'll gradually get a feel for "this product with X made my hair feel great" or "this product is a lot like that one, but it has Y and my hair feels icky now."

Gray hair isn't protected from UV light though (no melanin!) so sun damage is definitely more of a thing and probably plays a role in the wiry dry grays that a lot of people report. Maybe. Some of that is speculation because my grays seem to be exactly the same texture as the rest of my hair.

[spidermom]

I don't like my wiry white hairs either! I do use silicone-containing styling products (a curling creme and a coney serum) but I avoid it in shampoo and conditioner. I like to control exactly how much of it I'm using. However, what helps most with those wiry hairs that pop out all over the place is gel. Right now I'm using an aloe vera gel that I have to keep in the refrigerator, but I've also had success with department store styling gel. After styling, rub a small amount between wet palms, then smooth your palms over the surface of your hair. You can repeat this if you still have wiry hairs sticking up all over the place. As long as you don't rake through your hair with fingers or get hit by wind, you'll look neat all day.

[lapushka]

I don't know what I'm going to do. spidermom, instead of coarse hair, I'm getting even finer hair than I normally have (the white ones are so fly-away). I think I need even less product than now (styling wise). Luckily the white hairs are still sparse and here and there, but OMG if they're gonna be all over the place... and I'm not going back to henna to thicken the strands or cassia (because it will color them).

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I haven't noticed that my silvers are having a different texture to the rest of my hair, but I don't spend much time in the sun, either. They aren't wiry, or fly aways, or anything.

[Deborah]

Not everyone's grey hair is coarse or wiry. My Mum's is silky and beautiful, just like her dark hair was before it changed color.

[Kake]

^ Agreed. Mine is the same fine and silky texture as the rest of my hair. But still my new growth sticks out, and is annoying, even though my hair is fine. I wish I had an answer, I use oil, gel, hairspray etc, but none of them are really satisfactory. I'll be reading with interest.

[2gaits]

A keratin blow out a few times a year makes a difference for my sister that has coarser grays. She colors her hair though so you would have to check with a professional to see what it would do without color.

[spidermom]

My silvery hairs are the same fine to medium texture as my hair has always been. Those white ones, however, are crazy wiry and stick out all over the place.

[Siv]

SOURCE: Boots (http://www.boots.com/loreal-elvive-extraordinary-oil-100ml-10140048)

L'Oreal Elvive Extraordinary Oil


Cyclopentasiloxane,Dimethiconol ,Chamomilla Recutita Extract / Matricaria Flower Extract ,Cocos Nucifera Oil / Coconut Oil ,Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil / Sunflower Seed Oil ,Nelumbium Speciosum Extract / Nelumbium Speciosum Flower Extract,Benzyl Alcohol,Cinnamal,Linalool,Linum Usitatissimum Flower Extract ,Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride,Gardenia Tahitensis Flower Extract ,Rosa Canina Flower Extract,Bisabolol ,Glycine Soja Oil / Soybean Oil ,Parfum / Fragrance

SOURCE: r/haircarescience (https://www.reddit.com/r/HaircareScience/comments/1woutk/all_about_silicones/)

Cyclopentasiloxane and Dimethiconol


Group 1: Evaporative

Also known as volatile molecules. These silicones will completely evaporate from your hair anywhere from 10 minutes to a few hours after application, so there’s no worry about build up or moisture lock out with these (but also no conditioning effect from these alone). For this reason they’re most used only as delivery systems for other ingredients, as they distribute into a thin, uniform film before evaporation. Additionally, unlike short-chain alcohols, these won’t carry off moisture.

[...]

* Cyclomethicone and other cyclo-XXX-siloxane ingredients – note that these are not soluble in water, so won’t wash out easily if applied right before or in the shower. They will evaporate away afterwards, however, so it doesn’t matter and can actually help against hygral fatigue. They can also be beneficial for increased ease of combing when hair is wet after washing.


Group 2: Easy Wash Out

These silicones don’t evaporate, so they are useful as conditioning agents to get smoother and softer hair with less frizz. They also protect hair from UV radiation, heat styling, and humidity and spread out evenly. They do wash out with nonionic surfactants and co-washing, so again there’s not much concern about these. There are a few caveats to this, however. Larger molecules are more water resistant, especially in hot water, so may need a sulfate shampoo depending on the amount applied. They may also block out moisture from the hair if the user goes a very long time without washing with something besides water.

[...]

* Dimethiconol

[Shanawavy]

Spidermom I think my hair might be the same - fine and silvery at the front, but wiry and whiter around the sides and back! I wonder why this is? I know my hair is a lot finer at the front.
Silicones don't seem to make any difference to these wiry hairs, sadly.
I think mineral oil and acid rinses might be helping, and will try aloe vera gel.

[Kake]

SOURCE: Boots (http://www.boots.com/loreal-elvive-extraordinary-oil-100ml-10140048)

L'Oreal Elvive Extraordinary Oil



SOURCE: r/haircarescience (https://www.reddit.com/r/HaircareScience/comments/1woutk/all_about_silicones/)

Cyclopentasiloxane and Dimethiconol

Thanks for that. A great screen shot of information.

[CrowningGlory]

My silvers are coarser and curlier. I do use a tiny amount of aloe vera gel or a natural styling gel to tame the frizzies when my hair is wet. But, like my colour, I have learnt to embrace the different texture too.