Do you ever think you're overthinking this?

[Andthetalltrees]

I suppose it's kind of the point of the LHC. I know that my hair condition is much better than it use to be, and I got a routine that works. But I know that MY hair can grow without the best of care, So am I even doing too much? I worry about stupid little things that don't even matter, Sure I might not do everything the way majority of others do here but it works and I listen to my hair so that's all that should matter right? I know it's growing but I'm worried it'll stop or maybe I'm not measuring it right :\. I feel like I've been spending way too much time thinking about my hair lately and it's gotten stressful :(

Last time I grew out my hair I got stuck in the cycle at waist length, and the only way I got out was by cutting it. I really don't want to cut it this time, Maybe I just need to stop coming here for awhile and ignore my hair? I don't know why I'm even posting this, but I'm having a bad day hair wise and I thought I could get some comfort here :-(

[DweamGoiL]

Benign neglect works for many to grow to longer lengths. Keep your routine simple and just enjoy your hair. In reality, learning to accept and love our hair is the real end goal of the journey :)

[Robi-Bird]

When I get too antsy about my hair it goes into a bun and only comes down to be washed, rebunned, etc. I find putting it up puts it out of mind. No ends to stare at, no waves to fuss over. The reality is that my hair regimen is quick, exceedingly quick. It gets washed, and conditioned, detangled wet, air dried down or in a braid with a little leave in, and then bunned, or it goes directly into a bun. I rebun in the morning and at bed time so no one spot in my scalp gets abused. So about a minute twice a day, I fuss a bit with it, but I don't linger on it, unless I am in the mood to play with it, but I do so out of pleasure not out of anxiety.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I do find myself a lot more anxious over my hair, because of LHC. And I wonder if I'm doing this or that right, what I could be doing better, or if I can't do something like everyone else here does I'm like "what's wrong with my hair?" Or sometimes LHC makes me feel bad about my hair. If your hair isn't super long, I find less often my comments get replies. Lots of compliments here when it actually gets long in LHC terms. So from time to time I do take a break off it. I got a lot of growth during the year I took off from LHC. I did the things I learned in the beginning but not to the extent that I do at the moment and I do think LHC makes me over think and get into my head a lot sometimes. If You need a break, take one. I think sometimes we forget we don't need to check in here all the time. LHC is just a place where we can go for info, not to stress ourselves out. So nowadays I usually just come here to check the product thread or ask a dumb question if I have one lmao

[Chamomile]

I have absolutely been there. You are not alone. I lurked on LHC for five years before making an account for that very problem. My advice would be to try to stay away for a little while, get into your own routine with your hair and not focus on others who have hair you might want more than your own. I find that then I end up almost "falling back in love" with my own hair, so to say.

[Kitty-Zen]

I like talking about hair. It's a big part of my self maintenance, and DH gets bored hearing about it. I don't have a functioning personal Instagram right now to share milestones, style pics, product reviews, and I know it's all stuff LHC members are interested in hearing about. That being said, there is such thing as too much. I want to get better acquainted with the off topic forums tbh.

[Andthetalltrees]

I do find myself a lot more anxious over my hair, because of LHC. And I wonder if I'm doing this or that right, what I could be doing better, or if I can't do something like everyone else here does I'm like "what's wrong with my hair?" Or sometimes LHC makes me feel bad about my hair. If your hair isn't super long, I find less often my comments get replies. Lots of compliments here when it actually gets long in LHC terms. So from time to time I do take a break off it. I got a lot of growth during the year I took off from LHC. I did the things I learned in the beginning but not to the extent that I do at the moment and I do think LHC makes me over think and get into my head a lot sometimes. If You need a break, take one. I think sometimes we forget we don't need to check in here all the time. LHC is just a place where we can go for info, not to stress ourselves out. So nowadays I usually just come here to check the product thread or ask a dumb question if I have one lmao
I definitely have that "What's wrong with my hair" problem, Well more my scalp honestly xD. I do also think only certain kinds/lengths of hair get more comments, and there's nothing wrong with that but also the reason why I don't feel comfortable sharing my hair pictures very often. I do think I need a break and like you said realize it's not a necessary to check LHC everyday to have long hair.


I have absolutely been there. You are not alone. I lurked on LHC for five years before making an account for that very problem. My advice would be to try to stay away for a little while, get into your own routine with your hair and not focus on others who have hair you might want more than your own. I find that then I end up almost "falling back in love" with my own hair, so to say.
I'm glad I'm not alone at least! Awhile ago I had come into my own with my hair and was really happy with it, I don't know what's changed lately. Maybe I'm just taking my anxiety out on it

[Wreckinbelle]

ALL THE TIME!! I'm so hair obsessed right now it's driving everyone, including me, nuts! I also have a bad habit of buying "all the things" and then wanting to use them right now. I know this will pass and then maybe start all over again in a couple/few months. I think it's a cycle. Right now it's been fun trying to find what works and what doesn't and I think once I find my routine I'll think about it less. I love it here (LHC) but there are days when I think I need to take a break as well. Good luck on your journey and I hope you can find hair balance <3 :)

[Andthetalltrees]

ALL THE TIME!! I'm so hair obsessed right now it's driving everyone, including me, nuts! I also have a bad habit of buying "all the things" and then wanting to use them right now. I know this will pass and then maybe start all over again in a couple/few months. I think it's a cycle. Right now it's been fun trying to find what works and what doesn't and I think once I find my routine I'll think about it less. I love it here (LHC) but there are days when I think I need to take a break as well. Good luck on your journey and I hope you can find hair balance <3 :)

Yeah! It's like I enjoy the obsession for awhile, but then it gets overwhelming and I don't know how to stop. I did a lot of experimenting for years and I FINALLY found the only things that work for me, I don't know why it's hard to accept it xD. Thank you, I hope you can too

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I definitely have that "What's wrong with my hair" problem, Well more my scalp honestly xD. I do also think only certain kinds/lengths of hair get more comments, and there's nothing wrong with that but also the reason why I don't feel comfortable sharing my hair pictures very often. I do think I need a break and like you said realize it's not a necessary to check LHC everyday to have long hair.


MY scalp pisses me off to no end, so i feel ya.

Yeah! I don't think members here do it on purpose, but I think because there is just a fondness for hair thats CL or longer. When you start looking unconventionally long members here start to fawn over your hair. Not that theres anything wrong with that.. but, some people will compliment me on my now, longer length, and then mention my older posts. They saw the shorter hair and my growth updates and my excitement at hitting what they consider short, but said nothing... lol those compliments keep me motivated sometimes so it would have been nice to get them back then. I still post photos, just because I like to, nothing will stop me from doing that but my hair never got compliments til i started touching MBL.

There was a time when the members of LHC were... anal about things so you've joined during a better time lol.

[Andthetalltrees]

MY scalp pisses me off to no end, so i feel ya.

Yeah! I don't think members here do it on purpose, but I think because there is just a fondness for hair thats CL or longer. When you start looking unconventionally long members here start to fawn over your hair. Not that theres anything wrong with that.. but, some people will compliment me on my now, longer length, and then mention my older posts. They saw the shorter hair and my growth updates and my excitement at hitting what they consider short, but said nothing... lol those compliments keep me motivated sometimes so it would have been nice to get them back then. I still post photos, just because I like to, nothing will stop me from doing that but my hair never got compliments til i started touching MBL.

There was a time when the members of LHC were... anal about things so you've joined during a better time lol.

Sorry your scalp is annoying too! My scalp has to be washed very frequently, Absolutely nothing but shampoo touch it and doesn't like ANY weight or pulling. Buns even at longer lengths really bother me. Even braids seem to pull too much sometimes and my scalp gets sore.

I feel like the most compliments on shorter hair are in the context of growth, Like "Oh wow it's grown so much x amount of time". I guess longer than normal hair just stands out more, even to people who have longer hair.

Hahah, I know! I've looked all through the archives when I was bored, The place has had many changes and stages in it's life xD

[Lady Stardust]

Sorry your scalp is annoying too! My scalp has to be washed very frequently, Absolutely nothing but shampoo touch it and doesn't like ANY weight or pulling. Buns even at longer lengths really bother me. Even braids seem to pull too much sometimes and my scalp gets sore.

I feel like the most compliments on shorter hair are in the context of growth, Like "Oh wow it's grown so much x amount of time". I guess longer than normal hair just stands out more, even to people who have longer hair.

Hahah, I know! I've looked all through the archives when I was bored, The place has had many changes and stages in it's life xD

It sounds like you've worked out exactly what you hair and scalp need, so there!s really no reason to think you need to do anything differently. That's a great milestone in itself and you should congratulate yourself for it!

My hair is still really short, jaw level, but I've felt much better about it since I decided to stop worrying about the length. Maybe my hair will never get very long, but I'm alright with that, as long as it's in good condition. It will take years to grow my hair to even a moderate length, and it would be awful to be unhappy about it for all that time just because I don't think that it's long enough.

I don't post photos of my hair but I do post sometimes about how things are going, and find that I get lots of encouragement.

If it's uncomfortable for you to wear your hair up, maybe just keep it at a length where you're happy to wear it down? You should enjoy it, one way or another.

I agree with earlier posts too, if this forum is making you feel worse, take a break, even if it's for a couple of days. It can make all the difference. Everyone has bad hair days, and they suck, but they do pass.

[lapushka]

I look at it this way, I just found a better routine since discovering hair care, and that means I have made improvements in my hair care, still enough to call it benign neglect, though. ;)

[AmberLouise89]

I actually do take breaks from LHC because I find if I spend too much time on here I begin to obsess over my hair. I would never completely abandon LHC though because I learn so much from the people on here.

[school of fish]

I think each of us here has to find our own balance between learning the information we need, providing the support we can, and keeping maintaining enough distance to avoid getting overly obsessive :)

At the end of the day, there's only so much control we can exert over a naturally occuring physical function ;) There's no right or wrong way to engage in the process of waiting out growth, it's an individual thing. If you feel you need a break to feel more content, by all means take it! It could be that just giving voice to this feeling is enough to mitigate it, or knowing that others feel the same at times too :)

Hope you find the balance you need :D

[ThrowNormanAway]

I just returned to LHC recently after a 6month+ hiatus. I'm glad I took a break and just enjoyed my hair for the sake of how good it feels to have it as long as it is right this minute. I didn't fuss about remembering to oil and condition just right, or fuss about remembering to wear my satin sleep cap each night. I didn't fuss about remembering to S&D and I didn't fuss about silicones or protective styles. It was wonderful truly for my mental health to be honest. I think so many of us here get obsessed with our hair progress because when you learn that you have so much control over how well you can reach a goal to help you feel more *you* then you end up poring over all the information to truly master all these concepts to have your hair be the best it can be. It's great to have he knowledge of how to help your hair be it's best, but now I firmly believe that stressing over my uneven hemline or grabby last 2" of length, or whatever it is, isn't helping me reach my goal of hair happiness. I'll get there eventually and it's truly not all about the hair on my head, it's about what's going on inside my head too. Sometimes you've gotta treat yo self and take a load off.

[Andthetalltrees]

I think each of us here has to find our own balance between learning the information we need, providing the support we can, and keeping maintaining enough distance to avoid getting overly obsessive :)

At the end of the day, there's only so much control we can exert over a naturally occuring physical function ;) There's no right or wrong way to engage in the process of waiting out growth, it's an individual thing. If you feel you need a break to feel more content, by all means take it! It could be that just giving voice to this feeling is enough to mitigate it, or knowing that others feel the same at times too :)

Hope you find the balance you need :D

"At the end of the day, there's only so much control we can exert over a naturally occuring physical function: Haha, That's SO true! I have to keep reminding me that hair is an individual thing and one thing doesn't fit all, Even if they have the same hair type or whatever. I definitely feel better knowing I could talk about this and others feel similarly. It's so hard to stay away now, Even though I know I need to. I really like your LHC rebelness too, And I love your hair :cool:

I wish I could like everyones post, All of you have said such encouraging things and it feels great!

[beneaththetrees]

"I wish I could like everyones post, All of you have said such encouraging things and it feels great!

This is so true! Sometimes I can fall into the comparison trap on here, and it can lead to obsessive thoughts about all the ways I'm unhappy with my hair, instead of enjoying it where it is now. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and get a little perspective!

[*Wednesday*]

Last time I grew out my hair I got stuck in the cycle at waist length, and the only way I got out was by cutting it. I really don't want to cut it this time, Maybe I just need to stop coming here for awhile and ignore my hair?.............

If you cut it again you are not gaining anything if this is what you are seeking. Length. I think you are becoming board which is why most women wind up cutting their hair. Wear it up and forget about it. LHC should be for "hairspiration" and advice. If this were a pro-Ana site I'd say we have a problem. This is hair. If LHC is helping to fuel for you an unhealthy obsession of endlessly thinking, "did my hair grow, is it growing, did I oil, am I treating it right," that is not LHC because your comment already determined, "But I know that MY hair can grow without the best of care." I will have to say then yes, you are over-thinking because you've answered your own question. :)

[lapushka]

I kind of view LHC separate from my hair care. Being on here a lot doesn't mean I obsess over my hair. I can leave it alone just fine, practice benign neglect and do my weekly routine just fine without ever becoming "involved" with my hair. It grows at its own slow pace and I'm fine with that. I've joined no trimming for this year and hope to reach TBL at the end of the year, but no rush...

[*Wednesday*]

I kind of view LHC separate from my hair care. Being on here a lot doesn't mean I obsess over my hair. I can leave it alone just fine, practice benign neglect and do my weekly routine just fine without ever becoming "involved" with my hair. It grows at its own slow pace and I'm fine with that. I've joined no trimming for this year and hope to reach TBL at the end of the year, but no rush...

I agree Lapushka. I look at LHC as interacting with other hair hobbyists. An exchange of information, tips, technique and ideas. Meticulously caring for hair is not obsessing either. I have a friend at work who is into her fingernails and cuticle conditioning where I am not. It's just her thing.

[vpatt]

For sure I was obsessed....I may still be but to a much lesser degree. When I was younger I remember the short stage and then the long stage. I don't remember the in-between time, lol. I guess I was living my life. But I agree it is us and not the site causing us to obsess. We are an instant world nowadays and we want what we want NOW. I'm not saying everyone, but many. I have found focussing on learning more braids and buns and different types of washing....CO, WO and such makes me focus more on MY hair instead of how fast it's growing. At least not as much, lol. That plus most of the people I'm around think my hair IS long. I still have goals but I've learned to relax a bit more on growth.

[riahbobiah93]

That sounds like a great idea. I feel like most buns are not flattering on me, but when my hair isn't up, all I do is start at my ends or how "short" it is (BSL).... Maybe I just need to look into more bun styles to take advantage of this tip!

[Ondine11]

YES!!! I am overthinking this whole hair thing. I am enjoying it, though. Since my arrival here, I have learned so many new things, many of which I have incorporated into my regimen. My hair is thanking me (& LHC) for the attention & care. Since joining LHC, I notice people's hair much more than I used to. Super long hair always fascinated me, but, now I notice all kinds of details about its condition, texture, & styling.

[vpatt]

That sounds like a great idea. I feel like most buns are not flattering on me, but when my hair isn't up, all I do is start at my ends or how "short" it is (BSL).... Maybe I just need to look into more bun styles to take advantage of this tip!

I really don't think buns are flattering on me either, but oh well. If my hair is short I feel it is not always flattering so I just go with it. I really want to learn more braids and of course you can bun the braids.

I have a friend who's goal is knee...she is mid thigh. She only wears her hair down. She braids at night occasionally for a bit of wave. I know she trims her own hair but she is not on the net so cannot visit LHC. Her hair does not look damaged.

[bparnell75]

[QUOTE=vpatt;3425560]I really don't think buns are flattering on me either, but oh well. If my hair is short I feel it is not always flattering so I just go with it. I really want to learn more braids and of course you can bun the braids.

I have the same problem with a regular pulled back bun being unflatterng to me because I am "chubby" and have a round face. I have solved this two ways. I part my hair like a half up and push that part toward my face to soften it so it looks like the pic with DH from the front: Here is how it looks from the side:https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3700/33461164541_bb6ff6bc9d_n.jpg

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4163/33914364013_5c9da2743d_n.jpg
and from the back:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/490/32166455161_3605e4698d_n.jpg

A flipped bun done up high also gives fullness around the face:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2861/33074719000_5cd02e1abc_n.jpg
This video taught me how to make a bun in the air and ten push it down onto the head to give a puff around the face.
here is my version:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3940/33902593061_071911a894_n.jpg and https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/414/32317485112_81b2dfc9d5_n.jpg
Here is the video link: I hope this will help you to feel better about your crown of glory. I am also a Pentecostal radical. Jesus is so good I have to love Him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeR15eofNK4&list=PLghz7zScUfJtgaqqzcbcL8vnWjNAmoCeZ&index=15

Check out my blog for more pics

[ReadingRenee]

Those are great ideas bparnell. I am going to try the half up idea before the bun tonight. I definitely look better with my hair puffed up around my face. Also, you look so lovely in the pic with you and dh. That is a great picture of the two of you. :)

[vpatt]

I agree, that is a great picture! That is exactly what I need a bit of lift around my face. Thnx so much!


Edit
This works great!

After sleeping on it I can still wear it at home. Will redo it if I go out. I used spin pins for sleepability.

Thanks again Bparnell!

[mistythebandit]

I get very hair obsessed, especially when it comes time to redye it lol. I don't think it's a bad thing, it's a pretty fun thing for me. If you enjoy doing all these things to your hair, even if it wasn't changing anything, then I'd say it's reason enough to keep doing it!

[*Wednesday*]

[QUOTE=vpatt;3425560]I really don't think buns are flattering on me either, but oh well. If my hair is short I feel it is not always flattering so I just go with it. I really want to learn more braids and of course you can bun the braids.

I have the same problem with a regular pulled back bun being unflatterng to me because I am "chubby" and have a round face. I have solved this two ways. I part my hair like a half up and push that part toward my face to soften it so it looks like the pic with DH from the front: Here is how it looks from the side:https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3700/33461164541_bb6ff6bc9d_n.jpg

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4163/33914364013_5c9da2743d_n.jpg
and from the back:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/490/32166455161_3605e4698d_n.jpg




You look stunning. Beautiful.

[hannabiss]

Yes in fact I knew I was. When i started my hair growth journey it was all i could think about or talk about. I was kn this site all the time. As of last year or so Im definitely not a frequent visitor or poster any more. Still growing for the gold but not the first thing on my mind anymore.

[YvetteVarie]

I like talking about hair. It's a big part of my self maintenance, and DH gets bored hearing about it. I don't have a functioning personal Instagram right now to share milestones, style pics, product reviews, and I know it's all stuff LHC members are interested in hearing about. That being said, there is such thing as too much. I want to get better acquainted with the off topic forums tbh.

Very off topic, but I love your signature picture. Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous

[browneyedsusan]

Just chill. :meditate:
Put it up everyday for a few weeks or months and relax. Quit measuring, looking at it, messing with it, whatever. All is right with the world.
Have a cup of tea and forget about it. It's hums along whether you obsess or not, and it's so much nicer to have energy for other stuff. :)

[Jo Ann]

Andthetalltrees, one of the beauties of benign neglect is you lose the perfectionism! You have the tools to take better care of your hair, and it IS looking better, so stop worrying and let your hair be! Take it from a *ahem!* professional worry wart!

Remember: A watched pot never boils--the same applies to how fast (or slowly) one's hair grows. After wearing mine up for so long, when I wear it down, it's like "My hair is THAT long?? When did THAT happen?" and that is always a pleasant surprise!

[M00bles]

After wearing mine up for so long, when I wear it down, it's like "My hair is THAT long?? When did THAT happen?" and that is always a pleasant surprise!

I can't wait for this to happen to me; I'm trying to wear my hair up unless it's a special occasion and I'm hoping that when those come along I can be surprised too!