Shy about wearing hair up?

[Nono]

Hey guys! I'm a newbie so I hope I'm not posting this in the wrong place :p
I love updo's on other people but I don't do them on myself often because I get self conscious, worried that the hairstyle is looking messy, weird or just unflattering. It doesn't help that my hair is thin and fine and therefore often shows some weird bald spots with some styles :bigeyes: I'm getting more relaxed over time and I think in a few months I'll wear updo's more comfortably (gotta protect the length) but is this normal? Also, I've been following the fine hair thread but is there any thread specific for hairstyles for thin fine hair? Thanks! :o

[Aredhel]

I have a very round face so I had always been super self-conscious about wearing it up, because no matter what I do, wearing my hair up makes my face appear rounder... there's just no way around that.:) I guess I just got used to it after doing it for a while and stopped caring about it so much. It was the same for me and "scalp cleavage" too, because my hair is on the thinner side... when some hairs aren't cooperating/going in the direction that I'm combing, a sliver of scalp will show that makes it look like I'm balding. I just had to learn to get over that too.:p

There are a plethora of hairstyles available, most hairstyles that you see floating around the forum will work for thin hair as well as thick. Try the Hairstyle of the Month (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/forumdisplay.php?f=48) subforum for inspiration.:) Plenty of pictures from members with both thick and thin hair.

[Nono]

Thank you! I've been checking the hairstyles of the month subforum and I already added some hairstyles to the "to try" list. I guess I'll soon get used to it :D

[cendyrellaaa]

I feel the same as you :( I'm new to this forum too and have always worn my hair completely loose. The only times when I wore it up would be when I used to work but I used to do the worst bun on myself but the good thing is we wore hair nets and for some reason they also made us wear helmets too (it was a fruit warehouse) and as soon as work was over I wold let my hair down. I guess the reason my bun was horrible was because I have no practice whatsoever really. For now I'm trying braids for sleep only and I would like to try starting my updos with even a ponytail but it seems wearing elastics damage hair so I think I have to build up some courage to wear at least a side braid during the day. I know I would like it it's just that "first reaction" from people that's holding me back

[ghanima]

I don't like updo's too much either. It's not so much that I look 'bad', I just prefer that my hair is the most visible :p .
After years lurking or posting on LHC I have still a hard time understanding by which logic one would want to have long hair to then keep them bunned. Which isn't a critic, people are free to have whatever logic resonates with them. It's just me who doesn't get it, eventually.
The only time I put up my hair is in the summer because I'm too hot or if a very formal styling is required.

[WavyWannabe]

I used to be quite uncomfortable wearing my hair up in public. That's why I wore my hair down almost every single day until a few months ago.
However, I now always wear buns and occasionally braids, except for air drying, and I don't feel uncomfortable at all anymore !
I started wearing simple English braids once or twice per week, to get used to updos.
Then I learnt to do a cinnabun that looked sturdy enough, and wore it in the evenings, when only a few people could see me.
And one day I took the plunge and wore a bun for a whole school day ... This day I realized that nobody really paid attention to my bun and my "exposed" face, excepted me. :p And I quickly got used to this awesome feeling of not having my hair all over the place, hiding my face or getting caught everywhere. Now I'm actually more bothered by loose hair than a bun ! And I feel completely comfortable with an updo that doesn't hide my face in the slightest, and even shows a bit of scalp. It's very practical for hiding oily hair when one goes overboard with products ... ;)
So if you would like to wear your hair up more often, I'd advise you to slowly introduce simple updos in your daily routine, maybe braids, ponytails or even half-ups that still leave some hair loose, or only in the evenings or week-ends. Of course, there's nothing wrong either with wearing your hair down, but it's very possible that updos won't bother you anymore once you get used to them.

[Matcha]

... often shows some weird bald spots with some styles :bigeyes:

I've got the same problem. It really helps to comb the hair, make a bun and then use a superfine comb to distribute the hair on the scalp to make the "bald spots" disappear. Just maybe start wearing updos at home doing chores to warm up to them, keep practising, it'll get better. :)

[Mirabele]

I am the opposite. I have thin hair. I always wear my hair up because i am too conciuos of wearing my thin hair down :) i think any updos are good for all thin hairs.

[Borgessa]

LOL I shed too much to not wear it up every day, if it wasn't up, I'd be feeding it to my kids at dinner time, or worse eating it myself yuck. I also have thin hair, (lol the shedding doesn't help) so I understand what you mean.

[unheardletters]

I always wore my hair down until recently. I feel like updos look too severe on me. But I have to ignore what other people may think and protect my hair from myself and other damage. Also I shed crazy amounts of hair and my 6 month old finds it on the floor and tries to eat it, or it gets tightly wrapped around her fingers and toes. I vacuum 4-5 times a day to try keep a bit of control of the sheds and now I keep my hair up as much as I can.

[Arctic]

Hey guys! I'm a newbie so I hope I'm not posting this in the wrong place :p
I love updo's on other people but I don't do them on myself often because I get self conscious, worried that the hairstyle is looking messy, weird or just unflattering. It doesn't help that my hair is thin and fine and therefore often shows some weird bald spots with some styles :bigeyes: I'm getting more relaxed over time and I think in a few months I'll wear updo's more comfortably (gotta protect the length) but is this normal? Also, I've been following the fine hair thread but is there any thread specific for hairstyles for thin fine hair? Thanks! :o

I am in a way a complete opposite of you but thought I'll post anyway to give my perspective. I have always loved updos and styling my hair, and enjoy having my hair up. It was one BIG reason for me to grow my hair out, to be able to make more and different kinds of updos. I rarely get compliments in real life from my hair down, but I have gotten compliments of my updos more, it just seems to suit my face. And I like not having hair on my face. Win-win!

Like already mentioned in this thread, it's very possible to get used to seeing yourself with your hair up, and learning to enjoy it both visually and practically. It also will help your lengths and ends stay in better shape, which can help you lose less length for trimming off damage.

Not all updos/braids/styles suit everyone. But I am absolutely positive everyone can find at least a handful of styles that does flatter their face and hair. Stick to those mostly (making variation of them for - well - variety's sake).

It might not be easy for everybody doing those hairs styles at first, but you can learn! Ofter very quickly! I would start with the many tried and true staples longhair use here at the LHC. They are hair friendly and often quite quick to do, and sturdy. Having good, hair friendly accessories/toys/things to put your hair up - that suit your hair type - is very important too.

As for bald spot, we call the kind you refer to "scalp cleavage" here. It's not bald, the hair is just parted in an unflattering way (there might be a cowlick there to exaggare it too). This is usually a matter of technique and doing few prep steps and/or finishing touches. I get scalp cleavage rather easily, and I always check how my style looks from all angles. Then do what I can to camouflage/erase the cleavages. (Often, like I said, you can also prevent them from forming in the first place by some planning and carefullness.) Only scalp cleavage that I can't often hide if it's air dried how it wants to is my double crown area. But I can manipuate it as it dries, so again with some planning and prep work I can make it look better.

I don't have time now to go into details about those techniques I mention, but for example knowing how to section my hair, using fine tooth comb or even a small tooth brush (clean, for hair only), and some gentle, strategic tugging can erase the scalp cleavages. With time you will also learn to see which styles would suit your thickness the best. For example I love crown braids but I've just come to a conclusion they are not for me, I have too sparse hair. I still do then to get heatless waves, but not for wearing outside my home.

I have posted many hairstyles in my blog, geared to shorter hair (I don't know your length). When you have enough post to access blogs, maybe take a look. My hair is on the lower end of ii.

[Nono]

It's nice knowing that wearing my hair down isn't a complete hair destroyer that would keep my hair from growing long :P I've been wearing half up hairstyles, and yesterday I wore a bun, and I felt a bit better than usual! Like cendyrellaaa said, I think it's just the first reaction that I'm afraid of. Thanks for all your feedback :D

[embee]

Until I realized how much loose hair bothered me (got in my food, face, eyes, caught in my glasses, zippers, velcro) I was unhappy with my hair in a bun... thin straight hair, high forehead, I looked like an egg. :(

Now I find when my hair is down I think I look like a witch. ;) And an updo is *so* comfortable! Updo every day now.

[Mrstran]

I had such a hard time with this at first, in fact it took me 6 months to get comfortable with wearing my hair up. I'd force myself to put it up when I didn't want to sometimes until I got use to it. Now I actually feel like my hair looks odd down, but possibly because of my awkwardly thick and poofy neck length layer that grows sooo slow.

Give it time and force yourself to wear it up as often as you can. Eventually you will get use to it and you'll more than likely stop feeling self conscious about it. :)

[parallellines]

When I achieve long hair, I personally prefer updos unless I am at home, relaxing -- or for a special occasion when I feel mostly comfortable in the setting (people included). For me, that is part of the joy of long hair, being able to put it safely out of harm's way and trying out a multitude of styles not possible on me with shorter hair. For others, leaving long hair loose seems to be an expression of freedom and joy.

As others have said, trying updos is the only way to find an updo that you are comfortable with. You may find several that work for you, or you may find 'the one' that brings confidence every time you wear it.

[yahirwaO.o]

Well I prefer now updos on my short hair because it gives the illusion on more lenght than what I actually have. But I don't necesarily love them much prefer to have long hair down and open.

What helps is varing the updo selection and switching partings. Maybe you as a girl have more countless options to keep things interesting.

Braids, topknots or any coloful accesory does distract from imperfections lets say.

Also don´t enjoy updos since my hair is dark (braids don´t show as much), fine as a cat fur and have sometimes really bad scalp cleavage however as long as it looks good in the front I don´t pay attention.

[lizardspots]

I am the complete opposite, in that I feel self conscious wearing my thin hair DOWN! :) The best way to tell if your updo looks good is to check it with a hand held mirror in front of a larger standing mirror. I always do that, even with simple things like a lazy wrap bun which I can do without needing to look. How about starting with a simple braid?

[Lady Una]

I love wearing intricate updos with lots of detail. They make me feel glamorous. For a while I felt shy about wearing updos because I felt they made my face look fat, but I've gotten past that, I think. :)

[_anya]

Hey guys! I'm a newbie so I hope I'm not posting this in the wrong place :p
I love updo's on other people but I don't do them on myself often because I get self conscious, worried that the hairstyle is looking messy, weird or just unflattering. It doesn't help that my hair is thin and fine and therefore often shows some weird bald spots with some styles :bigeyes: I'm getting more relaxed over time and I think in a few months I'll wear updo's more comfortably (gotta protect the length) but is this normal? Also, I've been following the fine hair thread but is there any thread specific for hairstyles for thin fine hair? Thanks! :o

Aww, this exactly how I feel too and I have the same thin, fine hair that easily shows scalp especially around my temples. It makes me very self conscious. I also don't like the fact that my hair is at that awful stage of growing out layers and bleach + chlorine swimming pool damage, the underside of my medium blonde hair looks so much darker in contrast to the much lighter canopy parts and putting it up just looks weird to me. I'm taking babysteps, though. Half up. Buns while at home or driving. I actually love braids on me but I doing them on myself is very so hard because of my cobweb-fine hair and one side always ends up looking more "patchy" so Youtube is becoming my friend.
Just letting you know that you're not alone in your feelings about putting hair up.
Thanks for starting this thread - I'm going to subscribe and follow it for others good advice! :D

[Nono]

I'm more into simpler hairstyles for now, like twisted half ups, french braids and low low buns! Baby steps :P

[Nono]

Aww, this exactly how I feel too and I have the same thin, fine hair that easily shows scalp especially around my temples. It makes me very self conscious. I also don't like the fact that my hair is at that awful stage of growing out layers and bleach + chlorine swimming pool damage, the underside of my medium blonde hair looks so much darker in contrast to the much lighter canopy parts and putting it up just looks weird to me. I'm taking babysteps, though. Half up. Buns while at home or driving. I actually love braids on me but I doing them on myself is very so hard because of my cobweb-fine hair and one side always ends up looking more "patchy" so Youtube is becoming my friend.
Just letting you know that you're not alone in your feelings about putting hair up.
Thanks for starting this thread - I'm going to subscribe and follow it for others good advice! :D

Thanks for your support :o This forum is really giving me a different view of my hair, it's quite liberating. Good luck on your journey! :)

[Sweetalexandria]

I am the opposite. I have thick long hair prone to frizz and getting in tangles. I have a full oval face shape but I feel like If I wear my hair down it doesn't suit me.

I like wearing my hair in a high ponytail or bun as I feel it makes my jaw/face smaller.

[*Wednesday*]

What I’ve learned in my years is that most people are so wrapped up in their own lives and drama they hardly notice people anymore. However, we inhibit ourselves over what other’s may think of us.
Don’t ever feel self-conscience over what people may or may never think at all. It’s more important what you think of yourself.

[hairlover29]

I personally don't like wearing my hair up because first, I was born with uneven ears and feel self conscious and second my hair has gotten to the point where it's too heavy to be in a high pony tail without my head hurting.

[EdG]

I used to not want to wear my hair up because doing so caused my silvers to show prominently. Then, truepeacenik convinced me that this was a feature. The Silver Swirl was thus born. :)
Ed

[lithostoic]

I have a big forehead. Had bangs more often than not during my life. Feel like I look like an alien with my hair pulled back but I've grown used to it because I think maybe people won't approach me as much if I'm weird-looking XD

[Simsy]

I don't mind wearing my hair down, it's more annoying how big it gets. Being curly, (and thick), my hair starts out kinda tidy; and just gets bigger and bigger; and more wild as the morning goes on. By lunchtime, my hair is usually about 2-3 feet wide, close to a foot above my head and dry tangled like I've been head-banging for hours.:taz:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Remember that other people will be too busy worrying about what THEY look like to be worrying about what you look like. :D

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

my hair is very similar.. eventually i just got over it. i started cutting in straight across bangs a few years ago. i just need bangs. scalp cleavage is one thing, but a big foreheads another.

[twill]

I have wide cheekbones and the way may face is, I've found that wearing a bun higher up on my head (but not on top) so that it shows just above my ears helps with the face width thing. Another thing that helps a lot is how you part your hair. Wearing a slight side part as opposed to a centered or extreme side part when wearing your hair up can help with facial width too, as can wearing your hair in a looser, softer updo rather than a tight bun.

[enting]

I think it's just a matter of time to get used to it and experience with masking hair cleavage. If you do your hair upside down, that can give a softer, less severe look. Combing or using a soft brush over the areas that are prone to looking bald can help the hair lay smoothly there and give more coverage. Sometimes I like to tie a pretty scarf around my head like a headband - that adds a little bit of interest around my face and covers any weird-looking bits. If I am worried about my bun looking good, I will often comb the "ponytail" after gathering the hair wherever I want the updo to be. That helps smooth out any bumps from the hair sticking to each other while I was gathering it.

The bottom line though, is just getting used to it. It took me forever to get used to topknots, for instance, even though I had worn my hair up for years. I've finally come around to it and now I really like myself in a topknot.