How can i overcome such habit please help

[amiraaah]

Hello guys

several months ago i started searching in my hair to find split ends,i found tons of them and i started just pulling them and cutting them with my hand.my hair is not all one length im so frightened i think i ruined my hair and i don't know if it will grow with it's current state.

[Ondine11]

Hi, amiraaah! I used to have this habit, too, & it can become obsessive. What I'd suggest, is to begin by giving your ends a trim. That'll get most of the split ends off in one shot. You don't have to sacrifice a lot of length: just 1/4 to 1/2" or so. Your hair will appear the same length, but, it'll hang better & look healthier. After you've trimmed, get into the habit of oiling the ends. I use coconut oil (just a little on the last 1-2") some people prefer Argan oil, or other options. Test some, & see what works for you. IF you are using heat to style your hair, try lowering the temperature, & using less often. You'll see fewer split ends.

S&D (search and destroy) for split ends is practiced by many, here; especially for those with VERY long hair. The difference is, that they don't just rip or snap split ends off by hand; they use very sharp hair scissors & only snip off just above the split.

Try wearing your hair in different types of buns & up dos; you'll be less tempted to pick at it so often, as it won't be just hanging there, tempting you.

[Dendra]

Hello guys

several months ago i started searching in my hair to find split ends,i found tons of them and i started just pulling them and cutting them with my hand.my hair is not all one length im so frightened i think i ruined my hair and i don't know if it will grow with it's current state.

Don't worry too much. We've all done things like this before we knew about good hair care. Are you still doing it?

The best thing to do would be to get yourself a quality pair of shears from Sally's or somewhere similar, and trim your splits (about a quarter inch above each split) with those from now on.

You may need an overall trim if you do have lots of damage - you can do this yourself too (look up Feye's self trim method). What is the health of your hair like in general?

Overall please try not to fret, hair can be quite resilient after all :)

[Prism]

Welcome, amiraaah!

Was this a one-time occurrence or is it something you do on a regular basis?

[lapushka]

Hello guys

several months ago i started searching in my hair to find split ends,i found tons of them and i started just pulling them and cutting them with my hand.my hair is not all one length im so frightened i think i ruined my hair and i don't know if it will grow with it's current state.

First of all don't cry over spilled milk; what's done is done. :flower: I know that sounds harsh, but I'm sure you'll no longer do it from now on. You know it's wrong, so I'm guessing that's the first step to recognizing the problem behavior! To avoid "pulling" the hair, keep hair dressing shears on you, or those tiny sewing shears, so you'll have them handy when you discover a split end.

And lastly, only do S&D on set times, and not inbetween (don't do it) and then go through the hair thoroughly, and leave it be the rest of the time.

[Anje]

First, remember that breaking them off by hand or biting them doesn't leave a clean cut, which can result in further splitting. You'll do better to use some hair scissors to snip off the splits.

Second, some people are prone to getting a bit compulsive about picking at splits (or picking at other things). I'm one of them. If you are, it's good to designate a time and set a timer for how long you can do it. 5 or 10 minutes, not every day, perhaps. Then put your hair up and do something else. Knitting and crocheting are good substitutes, since they occupy you hands and attention similarly, but do what appeals to you (calligraphy and painting figurines for D&D are some I enjoy) and go do something else entirely if you find yourself wanting to look through your ends too much. Remember that few people will ever notice your split ends (and trims can help if you have a high percentage of the hairs split), and many people grow lovely long hair without ever having to search out and cut off splits. It's ok to ban yourself from Search and destroy altogether. Detail-focused people who like to keep their hands busy often need to find constructive things to do or they end up doing destructive things, and you can turn your focus.

I think it's also good to have realistic goals, because hair that splits really doesn't end up split-free and long simultaneously. I didn't have a whole lot, so my first goal was no more than 10% of the hairs with splits. Over the years (more time than searching splits, really), the goal maximum splits got down to more like 1% of hairs split. Don't feel like you need to keep working til you have zero splits, because that's not realistic.

[amiraaah]

Hi, amiraaah! I used to have this habit, too, & it can become obsessive. What I'd suggest, is to begin by giving your ends a trim. That'll get most of the split ends off in one shot. You don't have to sacrifice a lot of length: just 1/4 to 1/2" or so. Your hair will appear the same length, but, it'll hang better & look healthier. After you've trimmed, get into the habit of oiling the ends. I use coconut oil (just a little on the last 1-2") some people prefer Argan oil, or other options. Test some, & see what works for you. IF you are using heat to style your hair, try lowering the temperature, & using less often. You'll see fewer split ends.

S&D (search and destroy) for split ends is practiced by many, here; especially for those with VERY long hair. The difference is, that they don't just rip or snap split ends off by hand; they use very sharp hair scissors & only snip off just above the split.

Try wearing your hair in different types of buns & up dos; you'll be less tempted to pick at it so often, as it won't be just hanging there, tempting you.

thank you so much:D
i followed your advice and i trimmed half an inch and bought a coconut oil jar.yes i stopped completely using heat for a month now and i will keep a hair scissors handy.

[amiraaah]

Don't worry too much. We've all done things like this before we knew about good hair care. Are you still doing it?

The best thing to do would be to get yourself a quality pair of shears from Sally's or somewhere similar, and trim your splits (about a quarter inch above each split) with those from now on.

You may need an overall trim if you do have lots of damage - you can do this yourself too (look up Feye's self trim method). What is the health of your hair like in general?

Overall please try not to fret, hair can be quite resilient after all :)

thank you so much i trimmed half an inch :D

[amiraaah]

Welcome, amiraaah!

Was this a one-time occurrence or is it something you do on a regular basis?

i do it in a regular basis and even when i see split ends in my friends hairs i feel so tempted to pull it haha.

[amiraaah]

First of all don't cry over spilled milk; what's done is done. :flower: I know that sounds harsh, but I'm sure you'll no longer do it from now on. You know it's wrong, so I'm guessing that's the first step to recognizing the problem behavior! To avoid "pulling" the hair, keep hair dressing shears on you, or those tiny sewing shears, so you'll have them handy when you discover a split end.

And lastly, only do S&D on set times, and not inbetween (don't do it) and then go through the hair thoroughly, and leave it be the rest of the time.

thank you so much:D,yes i will stop doing it from now on this for me seems like the habit of biting nails i used to do it too and then when i recognized that im ruining them i stopped

[amiraaah]

First, remember that breaking them off by hand or biting them doesn't leave a clean cut, which can result in further splitting. You'll do better to use some hair scissors to snip off the splits.

Second, some people are prone to getting a bit compulsive about picking at splits (or picking at other things). I'm one of them. If you are, it's good to designate a time and set a timer for how long you can do it. 5 or 10 minutes, not every day, perhaps. Then put your hair up and do something else. Knitting and crocheting are good substitutes, since they occupy you hands and attention similarly, but do what appeals to you (calligraphy and painting figurines for D&D are some I enjoy) and go do something else entirely if you find yourself wanting to look through your ends too much. Remember that few people will ever notice your split ends (and trims can help if you have a high percentage of the hairs split), and many people grow lovely long hair without ever having to search out and cut off splits. It's ok to ban yourself from Search and destroy altogether. Detail-focused people who like to keep their hands busy often need to find constructive things to do or they end up doing destructive things, and you can turn your focus.

I think it's also good to have realistic goals, because hair that splits really doesn't end up split-free and long simultaneously. I didn't have a whole lot, so my first goal was no more than 10% of the hairs with splits. Over the years (more time than searching splits, really), the goal maximum splits got down to more like 1% of hairs split. Don't feel like you need to keep working til you have zero splits, because that's not realistic.

thank you so much
i will put my hair up and keep my hands away from it.

[Ondine11]

I'm glad everyone came running to give you their best advice. Another tip I'd add, to prevent more breakage, is to get a 100% silk sleep bonnet, or a 100% silk pillowcase. I see your hair is wavy/curly. This kind of hair can tangle more easily, & be dry & frizz-prone. The coconut oil on the ends, as well as sleeping on silk, will help keep your freshly trimmed ends in good condition for a longer time.

[amiraaah]

I'm glad everyone came running to give you their best advice. Another tip I'd add, to prevent more breakage, is to get a 100% silk sleep bonnet, or a 100% silk pillowcase. I see your hair is wavy/curly. This kind of hair can tangle more easily, & be dry & frizz-prone. The coconut oil on the ends, as well as sleeping on silk, will help keep your freshly trimmed ends in good condition for a longer time.

aww!thank you so much<3 yes my hair is curly and it tangles so easily i will try your advice.

[amiraaah]

I'm glad everyone came running to give you their best advice. Another tip I'd add, to prevent more breakage, is to get a 100% silk sleep bonnet, or a 100% silk pillowcase. I see your hair is wavy/curly. This kind of hair can tangle more easily, & be dry & frizz-prone. The coconut oil on the ends, as well as sleeping on silk, will help keep your freshly trimmed ends in good condition for a longer time.

aww!thank you so much<3 yes my hair is curly and it tangles so easily i will try your advice.

[Reyn127]

Hi there. This is fixable, so try not to worry too hard anymore! I am seconding a few others in what I would do in your situation. I think a small little trim, maybe an inch max is a good place to start to just get a good chunk of splits off without losing too much length. And then I would give Search and Destroy a try. Just snip off the split with your little pair of hair scissors, instead of pulling at it with your fingers. A lot of hair shears are small enough to fit in a purse and bring with you, if necessary to stop you from pulling at your hair.

I had the same problem really badly for a few months, right before I found and started lurking LHC, honestly. I was literally losing length from doing it. Not just not gaining length, but actually starting to lose some. Luckily it was just like an inch before I really stopped, but the splits continued to get worse and worse the more I did it, so I did it more. So just know that it won't get you anywhere, either.

But if you have a pair of scissors just for hair, you can try and direct that energy into using the scissors instead. As long as you are only cutting just above splits, and not cutting off healthy ends, it's hard to do too much S&D. You can't really go overboard. You will eventually run out of splits if all goes well.

[amiraaah]

Hi there. This is fixable, so try not to worry too hard anymore! I am seconding a few others in what I would do in your situation. I think a small little trim, maybe an inch max is a good place to start to just get a good chunk of splits off without losing too much length. And then I would give Search and Destroy a try. Just snip off the split with your little pair of hair scissors, instead of pulling at it with your fingers. A lot of hair shears are small enough to fit in a purse and bring with you, if necessary to stop you from pulling at your hair.

I had the same problem really badly for a few months, right before I found and started lurking LHC, honestly. I was literally losing length from doing it. Not just not gaining length, but actually starting to lose some. Luckily it was just like an inch before I really stopped, but the splits continued to get worse and worse the more I did it, so I did it more. So just know that it won't get you anywhere, either.

But if you have a pair of scissors just for hair, you can try and direct that energy into using the scissors instead. As long as you are only cutting just above splits, and not cutting off healthy ends, it's hard to do too much S&D. You can't really go overboard. You will eventually run out of splits if all goes well.

thank you so much:D
i started losing length too