Ever consider cutting it off?

[Turtlesorgtfo]

Hello!

I feel like I have finally reached my goal length (waist length) after 2 years of solid growth, but I feel so unhappy with it the majority of the time. I love my long hair when I style it, but otherwise it is just a burden. I'm a stay at home mom, so I always put it into a long braid so that I can easily chase after baby and do house chores, otherwise it's just falling in my face and driving me insane. I just feel like I never do anything nice with it, but I also don't have the patience or motivation to style it!

So I'm asking myself, what's the point? Should I cut it all off? If I cut it, I'd do a shoulder length bob.

Here's a pic of the last time I was happy with it, 2 months ago, because I took the time to do heatless curls. :cry:

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b244/Ex-Sion/IMG_0834.jpg

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b244/Ex-Sion/IMG_0654.jpg


Otherwise it's just messy and kinked from braids like this. :(

WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[Simsy]

I consider chopping mine back every 2-3 months, but then I remember why I started growing it. It's less hassle as it gets longer. Don't mistaken this for less work, it absolutely takes time; which is why I trimmed the handling to the absolute bare minimum I can get away with. But it doesn't boof out like it used to. It doesn't tangle, or knot, or go crazy huge like it used to.

If you grew it for similar reasons, then remind yourself of them. Cutting is really easy, growing takes time.

I don't do much with my hair. It spends 5 days a week in a pair of braids pinned to my head, and 2 days a week in a braid or bun. This works for me. Sure, I think I should do more with it, but that doesn't work for me. If a basic braid works for your day to day, then go for it. Mayby learn some complex-looking braids or fast buns to mix it up. Maybe add some colour; either a paranda or dye/henna; or coloured clip-ins. If curling your hair is so ring that makes you happy, there are heaps of heat-less methods on YouTube that you can sleep so shouldn't chew up to much time.

If you are sure you want to cut it back, then do what makes you happy. We won't judge you for wanting a bob cut :blossom:

[lapushka]

I only get the sudden urge to cut it all of when it has gotten a bit too long for my liking. Maybe cut back a few inches. It might make all the difference.

[draysmir]

I agree with lapushka, maybe try cutting a few inches first to see if it's easier to handle and stuff. In your second picture, it actually looks a lot longer than waist length, at least hip in my opinion. Maybe try cutting it back to right on waist length ( or where your elbows are sitting) or BSL and see if you like it then. Being almost at elbow length myself, I'm beginning to notice my hair gets in the way of my arms sometimes when its down and in front. I don't mind this, but maybe you'll find your hair a lot more manageable if you cut it a few inches shorter :)

[Anje]

Honestly, I'm seeing you feeling cooped up and overwhelmed with a baby, thinking of taking it out on your hair. Will cutting your hair (which is gorgeous, by the way!) make you happier, or is it just change for change's sake?

And yes, I did cut it all off. I'd never had it really short before and I specifically wanted my hair to look radically different. It's going to be such a pain to grow it back out when I decide I want hair that isn't described as fuzzy, but right now I'm still petting my head.

[spidermom]

Yes! I was tortured with thoughts of cutting for at least 2 years before I made the cut from tailbone to between waist and hip, then to between BSL and waist, and finally to a long bob at shoulder. I couldn't be happier with it! I can still put it up if I want to, but I can also leave it down as much as I want without it getting in my way or snagging on things. I feel like I have more styling choices now.

[Siv]

I think your "messy, kinky" hair is beautiful :) perhaps it's not your preferred style, but I like it! My hair is always messy-half-wavy, never-sleek-and-straight, never-neat-waves and I've grown to like it quite a bit. I like to convince myself it gives off a rockstar vibe ;)

[neko_kawaii]

Yes, I've gone from long to short many times in my life. Never regretted the chops and loved the short styles, but I did miss some aspects of having longer hair.

My last cut was right before my son was born, waist length to a shaggy pixie.

I discovered a few things. 1) My child made it very hard to wash my hair often enough for that length. It was mostly greasy and I resorted to simply covering it with a bandana until it was long enough to braid. 2) My child did not stop grabbing and pulling my hair until he was around four years old. If my hair was loose when he had a tantrum, I was in danger.

I also discovered LHC while he was a toddler and used what time I didn't spend chasing him around to learn new buns and braids. The most important take away: many buns are extremely fast to do once you get the hang of them. Which means SO MANY styling options besides a simple braid, and all are accessible in the brief amount of time a busy mom generally has.

[Aredhel]

I have considered it when I was unhappy with the condition of my hair, but decided to stick through it. As others have suggested you might just enjoy "shorter" long hair, so maybe try to keep shortening it gradually until you're happy with the length? :)

[Kellylee]

Your hair is so pretty. At the end of the day it's what will be best for you but I wouldnt.

[Groovy Granny]

Your hair is gorgeous :thud:

I agree with just doing a small trim; it can change the look and feel while keeping the length:thumbsup:
Hip was too long and in the way for me; waist thickened my heline and it feels awesome.

IMHO APL and shorter is MORE work.
It usually means washing more often, setting it for curls, frequent trims to maintain the shape/style, and more products needed.

At that length there is more potential for a BAD HAIR DAY....whereas with longer hair, you have unlimited options to keep it up or down.
If anything doesn't work one day, it is a quick fix to use another style with another hair accessory; shorter is not so easy.

I am retired and home most days, but I still enjoy styling it with different hair toys; it is good for the hair... and the spirit.

So maybe a small trim....and get a new hair toy :eyebrows:

Unless you want a big change....and the pains of regrowing it later.....I wouldn't go for a big cut.
I have seen some here still not happy some days after a chop(for whatever reason) and now thinking about regrowing it :shrug:

[Rosamaria]

If having your hair loose and falling over your face drives you insane, then cutting it to a shoulder-length bob will probably mean that you will still have to tie it back in a pony tail, to get it off your face, and you will lose the option of putting it up because it will probably be too short for buns etc. If your hairdresser cuts off more than you ask (as they tend to!) things will be even worse, because you won't be able to tie it back and it will be just the right length for your baby to grab and pull!

Anje is probably right that the frustrations of being cooped up with your little one may lead to you wanting a change and taking things out on your hair - we've all been there - it somehow seems that cutting the hair will sort everything out. I've done this sort of thing a few times - it's not the end of the world, it just means that you have to go all through the growing out phase again!

Your hair is beautiful, believe me.

So, I would suggest giving it a trim, just to liven things up a bit, and see how you feel.

[Turtlesorgtfo]

I think your "messy, kinky" hair is beautiful :) perhaps it's not your preferred style, but I like it! My hair is always messy-half-wavy, never-sleek-and-straight, never-neat-waves and I've grown to like it quite a bit. I like to convince myself it gives off a rockstar vibe ;)I actually don't mind the messy look! What drives me nuts about it is that the last 4 inches are stick straight, while the middle is all wavy due to it being in a braid. Haven't quite figured out how to braid allllllllll the way to the end to avoid the last bit straight. :confused:

[Turtlesorgtfo]

Your hair is gorgeous :thud:

I agree with just doing a small trim; it can change the look and feel while keeping the length:thumbsup:
Hip was too long and in the way for me; waist thickened my heline and it feels awesome.

IMHO APL and shorter is MORE work.
It usually means washing more often, setting it for curls, frequent trims to maintain the shape/style, and more products needed.

At that length there is more potential for a BAD HAIR DAY....whereas with longer hair, you have unlimited options to keep it up or down.
If anything doesn't work one day, it is a quick fix to use another style with another hair accessory; shorter is not so easy.

I am retired and home most days, but I still enjoy styling it with different hair toys; it is good for the hair... and the spirit.

So maybe a small trim....and get a new hair toy :eyebrows:

Unless you want a big change....and the pains of regrowing it later.....I wouldn't go for a big cut.
I have seen some here still not happy some days after a chop(for whatever reason) and now thinking about regrowing it :shrug:

Thank you!

You are so right that shorter increases chances for a bad hair day.... I remember having short hair and waking up with stupid lumps and bumps and weird things go on, that were impossible to fix without a shower! I guess that is something to consider!

I like everyone's idea of just cutting back a little bit. I think it's a good idea, and maybe some long, face framing layers in the front to help lighten things up and keep it out of my face a bit more. Guess I just have to decide if I want that big change or not.

[pastina]

As for getting braid waves all the way down... try a paranda! Do a search on here for that-- there's a huge thread. Basically, you're adding yarn (or ribbon, or a scarf) into each section of your braid that is cut longer than your hair, and braid it past the end of your hair. It also means that the braid is tied off past the ends of your hair, so there's no damage from the actual tie you're using, making this style nice and protective. Plus, you can give yourself a temporary pop of color when you choose your yarn/ribbon. So much win.

....And I just need to comment on how cute your little one is posing with you. Ohhhh my gosh. haha!

[going gray]

Your hair is gorgeous, by the way, but I understand the need for a change, especially with taking care of a little one at home. It's been my MO to grow my hair out to my desired length, then chop it, (each time about 10 in my 70 years), it's been a regretful. I agree with a lot of the ladies above, how about taking off just a few inches & see if that helps.

All the best,
Linda

[Groovy Granny]

....And I just need to comment on how cute your little one is posing with you. Ohhhh my gosh. haha!

I forgot to mention the precious pics of your little one....very sweet :)

[alimc]

Having had two kiddypops, and long and short hair, shorter hair (for me) was way more work.
Everyone is different tho, my face didnt suit a bob, many folks love how their bob looks.
I'd agree with cutting back to waist for starters. Every time i've gone short i've regretted it within weeks and faced the loooooong grow back.....
Your hair is very pretty, i'd be proud of it. And your little one is adorable :heartbeat

[nmgdolly]

I think your hair is gorgeous. I would not cut it. But, of course, you know what is best. Your bebe is so sweet!
Like others have suggested, I would consider, some fun, new ways of styling into updos. Braids and buns are so classic and pretty. I love the look of that Paranda braid that Pastini mentioned. It looks practical. :) Still looking it up, myself. I am going to have to play.

[Arctic]

Aesthetically/visually I think your hair is beautiful, but you live with it so you will know the best what's the solution to your hair related woes.

I myself, currently I am not actively considering cutting my hair off, but knowing myself that day will come. I have cut my hair in the past too.

[nitagurl]

Cutting it off?? No ma'am.

[littlestarface]

No way. I have had long hair all my life 2 kids later always had long hair with them, never cut. I never saw long hair n kids or cleaning as a problem or even oily hair either but I am the type to just throw my hair up in a bun or braided bun all day and forget about it. I would think having short hair would be more of a hassle but I am very lazy so I can handle a week or 2 or 3 without washing it and not care at all. Heck put more coconut oil in it make it worth its while.

[ZeppHead]

I just cut off my hair and put in layers and a long side bang after reaching just about hip and I liked it. For about 2 days. The pain of growing it back and knowing how long it will take just wasn't worth it to me. Your hair is looking so pretty and healthy in those pictures I couldn't imagine cutting it. You have to go through the day with it. Not us. Just remember it will take time and patience growing it back out if you hate it after you cut it. It has been about a month since I chopped it off and I cannot do a nice bun like I used to. I have bangs in my face when I put my hair back, I cant do a low braid and I sincerely miss my long hair. Very much. Think it through, give yourself some time and do what will be best for you and your lifestyle. Long hair can be a burden sometimes, I agree. But, if you love it and would miss it I would rule against it.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Short hair is way more of a hassle... trust me.

[pandabarrier]

Yeah, I thought of cutting off because of frustration when learning a new hairstyle.
I don't think your hair looks kinky and messy from the braids. It looks healthy.
Off-topic: some days ago I saw a lady with loose waist-length hair with a baby carrier in the subway. Her baby girl (10 months?) kept stroking her mom's hair with her tiny left hand. The baby was very gentle (was she taught not to pull her mom's hair?) and that seemed to sooth her because the subway car where we were was stalled for several minutes due to train traffic. When the train resumed moving the baby girl switched hands and started stroking her mom's hair with her right hand!

[spidermom]

Short hair is way more of a hassle... trust me.

That's your opinion, but I couldn't disagree more. I would go through periods with my long hair when I felt like I was fighting with it constantly - down and in my way or buns sliding and pulling or braids swinging around driving me crazy but refusing to stay pinned up, wet hair hanging all over me taking hours to dry or taking an hour to blow-dry; I could go on. Now it takes maybe 20-25 minutes to blow dry, and all I have to do to style it is use curl creme, finger-comb through, and scrunch. Good to go!

Back to the original post, it really depends on how attached you are to long hair. If you can pin it up and forget it for awhile, great; do that. As has been said - hair is quick to cut off but it takes a long time to re-grow. I don't care, but you might.

[-Fern]

Personally, I think your hair looks stunning in both photos!! But what matters is what makes you happy. :o Wishing you the best, no matter what you decide. :blossom:

[Jo Ann]

Turtlesorgtfo, my hair ranged from shoulder-length to waist length, with two little boys who were 22 months apart. I found it much easier to use a claw clip to get my hair out of my way when working around the house or on the job (my boyfriend was doing plumbing, electrical and construction work and, when the older boys were home from school and could watch the younger boys, I'd work with him). I found the longer hair easier to deal with when working--only took seconds to get it out of the way--and it was cooler in the summer, too!

Your little one is so cute and your hair is so gorgeous! I'd wait a little while and try some other styles, see what works for you and your lifestyle. Maybe you'll find a style or two that works for you. Maybe you'll decide that a cut (hopefully a small one--only a couple of inches) would suit your situation better. Ultimately, you will be the one to live with your decision.

[LaReineJaguar]

Your hair is absolutely beautiful. If you want to cut it, I agree with the suggestion of cutting it a little bit at a time to see how it goes just because it takes so long to grow hair. Every time I cut mine I say "never again" and I try to remember that.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Your hair is absolutely beautiful in both photos. I do sometimes think about cutting, then tell myself I will certainly regret it.

I think long hair is much easier to manage, day to day than short hair. Just a few seconds and it can be up in a nautilus bun. Can't do that with short hair... :)

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

That's your opinion, but I couldn't disagree more. I would go through periods with my long hair when I felt like I was fighting with it constantly - down and in my way or buns sliding and pulling or braids swinging around driving me crazy but refusing to stay pinned up, wet hair hanging all over me taking hours to dry or taking an hour to blow-dry; I could go on. Now it takes maybe 20-25 minutes to blow dry, and all I have to do to style it is use curl creme, finger-comb through, and scrunch. Good to go!

Back to the original post, it really depends on how attached you are to long hair. If you can pin it up and forget it for awhile, great; do that. As has been said - hair is quick to cut off but it takes a long time to re-grow. I don't care, but you might.
I mean a couple other members here said the same exact thing I did. *shrug* But thanks for specifically responding to me lol

[JadedByEntropy]

i grew for 4 straight years, and got frustrated too. I think maintaining somewhere along the way lets you learn to cope with longer lengths. I did chop off over a years' worth of growth. it felt super short and easy to manage, in comparison! but it was still 3/4ths of my new growth spree. you don't have to cut much to get a little relief, and familiarity back. I'd say small cuts, or at least maintain for awhile. get the hang of what you currently have, even through a small chop, before you resort to the last length you remember being easy. you might still want it long? and then you won't lose much progress

[nitagurl]

I mean a couple other members here said the same exact thing I did. *shrug* But thanks for specifically responding to me lol

Right? Lol. All that was added was more 'opinion'. I happen to agree with you Rebeccalaurenxx. All of those steps are still not needed when you have long hair because, yet again, it's easier. But with all of that being said i hope the OP considers each view point because they've all been valid.

[spidermom]

I just picked one quote to reply to because it was easy to isolate. Each is entitled to her (or his) opinion, of course; they're all valid.

[Deborah]

I find putting my hair up in a bun is way more effective at protecting the hair, plus I think it looks prettier than just a braid. But another nice side effect is that bun waves go all the way to the bottom of your hair; they don't abruptly end, like braid waves do.

Before cutting, maybe try to learn and wear a couple of comfortable updos/buns. If you are still unhappy with your hair, you can always cut off a little or a lot. I am by no means anti-cutting, but usually I only advise that when I see damaged, not very pretty hair. Yours looks healthy and not in need of cutting; that's why I suggest trying updos first.

Ultimately it comes down to what makes you happy. I hope you soon find a way to be happy with your hair, whether you cut or not. Best of luck! :flower:

[akurah]

My suggestion:
Start small and work your way up. When I went from knee to waist, I was not happy. I should have gone from knee to classic if I were going to cut. Knee to waist was well over 1.5 feet of hair on me. (turns out I had no business cutting in the first place, but that's neither here nor there)

After being at your shorter length for a couple of months, you're not upset you cut and want to go even shorter, go again.

I'd limit each cut to no more than 4 or 5 inches per chop each chop, because that's how long hair grows in a span of a year for most people. That way, if you find you get to a point where you go "Oh no, I cut too much!" you don't have as far to go to "fix" it.

[Turtlesorgtfo]

Wow thanks so much for the comments every one! Taking all things into consideration here, and it's helping me make a more well-informed decision. :)

Before making this post I had convinced myself I "needed" to chop it all off to feel better about it. It was an "all or nothing" thing for me.... but with all these positive comments, I think a small chop is the way to go. My husband is going to be mad, because he has been suggesting that for the past few months and I have been ignoring him. LOL :doh:

And thank you thank you for all the sweet comments on my little one, he is such a dear and I love showing him off whenever I can (super proud mommy over here). :o :inlove:

[Turtlesorgtfo]

Yeah, I thought of cutting off because of frustration when learning a new hairstyle.
I don't think your hair looks kinky and messy from the braids. It looks healthy.
Off-topic: some days ago I saw a lady with loose waist-length hair with a baby carrier in the subway. Her baby girl (10 months?) kept stroking her mom's hair with her tiny left hand. The baby was very gentle (was she taught not to pull her mom's hair?) and that seemed to sooth her because the subway car where we were was stalled for several minutes due to train traffic. When the train resumed moving the baby girl switched hands and started stroking her mom's hair with her right hand!Thank you! That is such a sweet story. My little one is pretty good at not pulling my hair, he knows not to be rough with it. But, of course the odd sticky finger gets stuck in the lengths when I'm caring him or whatnot. That's so sweet that she would stroke her hair. I have to teach him how to pet, lol!

[Turtlesorgtfo]

As for getting braid waves all the way down... try a paranda! Do a search on here for that-- there's a huge thread. Basically, you're adding yarn (or ribbon, or a scarf) into each section of your braid that is cut longer than your hair, and braid it past the end of your hair. It also means that the braid is tied off past the ends of your hair, so there's no damage from the actual tie you're using, making this style nice and protective. Plus, you can give yourself a temporary pop of color when you choose your yarn/ribbon. So much win.

....And I just need to comment on how cute your little one is posing with you. Ohhhh my gosh. haha!Ohhhh myyyyyyyyy, this is such a good idea! I feel silly for never thinking of it. Of course, LHC to the rescue once again!!! Thanks so much for pointing me in the right direction. :inlove: And thanks so much for commenting on my cutie! He is such a sweetie!

[pandabarrier]

Thank you! That is such a sweet story. My little one is pretty good at not pulling my hair, he knows not to be rough with it. But, of course the odd sticky finger gets stuck in the lengths when I'm caring him or whatnot. That's so sweet that she would stroke her hair. I have to teach him how to pet, lol!

Yes, regardless of the hair length you decide, teach your baby how to pet your hair! :)
One LHC member (I can't remember who) had hair up to thigh at some point and her toddler played with her hair as if it was a curtain.
If you decide for a haircut in a salon, be cautious. If you want 4 inches cut off for example, tell them you want 2 inches trim, a smaller number than you really want. That's to avoid problems of hairdressers cutting more than you expected.

[missbexy]

Your 'messy' looks a darn site neater than mine ever has :P
I've been tempted a few times to chop my hair off dramatically since having kids, and I felt like you did when my youngest was a few months old because it was just always messy a braided. Ultimately I'm really glad I didn't because growing my hair has been quite an important challenge for me and I'm back to loving having it long (most of the time). I try to teach my boys not to pull (climb) my hair, which is a work in progress with the youngest. What really helped me was getting myself a couple of new hair toys (and digging out my neglected ones) and practising a few new quick buns. That meant it was out of the way but I didn't feel so stuck in a rut with my same 'mummy hair-do', plus I found it pulled a lot less at my scalp.

[Groovy Granny]

You know...it JUST dawned on me that *I* chopped my waist length hair to collar bone when my first born was about your little ones age :hmm:

And boy, did I have some funky style changes over the years back then ~ curls....to a perm....to a pixie....sun in, then coloring; not a pretty picture at times :rollin:

I finally woke up after a stylist fried my hair green :thud: and they had to cut my hair from waist to chin at age 50.
At first I was PO'd...then I realized at age 50 I was seeing my true color for the first time in 20 years...and felt liberated :joy:

After a stint of short styles (thinking I had to at my age and being silver :doh: ) I decided to grow it out at age 61 and haven't looked back....excpet for now; wishing I had treasured my LONG hair in my 20's and had NEVER cut it at all.

Live and learn :shrug:

I just encourage you to THINK LONG AND HARD before you chop; go with what will make your heart happiest :flowers:

[Turtlesorgtfo]

You know...it JUST dawned on me that *I* chopped my waist length hair to collar bone when my first born was about your little ones age :hmm:

And boy, did I have some funky style changes over the years back then ~ curls....to a perm....to a pixie....sun in, then coloring; not a pretty picture at times :rollin:

I finally woke up after a stylist fried my hair green :thud: and they had to cut my hair from waist to chin at age 50.
At first I was PO'd...then I realized at age 50 I was seeing my true color for the first time in 20 years...and felt liberated :joy:

After a stint of short styles (thinking I had to at my age and being silver :doh: ) I decided to grow it out at age 61 and haven't looked back....excpet for now; wishing I had treasured my LONG hair in my 20's and had NEVER cut it at all.

Live and learn :shrug:

I just encourage you to THINK LONG AND HARD before you chop; go with what will make your heart happiest :flowers:Thanks so much for all your positive comments. It's really helping me think things over. :flower:

Sometimes I feel like, since I'm in my mid 20s, I have all the time in the world to have long hair! So why not chop and experience some different cuts right now? But maybe life will get in the way and I won't feel the same in 10/20/30 whatever years. And then I will miss my long, youthful hair. So many things to consider!! :confused:

I LOVE seeing long, silver hair. Good for you for letting it grow! So many mature women chop it all off, thinking they "have to" go short. My mom did that last year, and now she's completely regretting it. Long hair is for every age!

[Groovy Granny]

Thanks so much for all your positive comments. It's really helping me think things over. :flower:

Sometimes I feel like, since I'm in my mid 20s, I have all the time in the world to have long hair! So why not chop and experience some different cuts right now? But maybe life will get in the way and I won't feel the same in 10/20/30 whatever years. And then I will miss my long, youthful hair. So many things to consider!! :confused:

I LOVE seeing long, silver hair. Good for you for letting it grow! So many mature women chop it all off, thinking they "have to" go short. My mom did that last year, and now she's completely regretting it. Long hair is for every age!

You're welcome ~ hopefully they help a bit!

And thank you!
I did have a few stints at long hair throughout my life....but never thought I'd be long at 65 for sure lol

Thankfully your Mom has YOU for encouragement...I was alone...until LHC, and you all gave me the inspiration and courage to go for it :grouphug:

You have plenty of time to play with different lengths.
So go with your gut....wherever your thoughts go most of the time is what you usually want to do deep down; you can always grow it back! :cheer: