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Browneyedbelle9
April 17th, 2017, 06:26 AM
So my fi and I broke up two months ago, I stopped eating lost six kilos and my hair is bone dry everyday

I have had balayage brown Feb last year but my hair snarls so bad I can't even untangle it unless its wet with conditioner so now I don't know

I don't want to cut its waist length happy with it I used to be brushing it everyday

How can I get it back to what it was two months ago its a real challenge and I lose balls of hair and wash once a week

I don't want to cut it in going to dust it soon but for now maybe a colour washout will make it more manageable or a thick conditioner

Its not free after a shower and mattered within two days help

Aredhel
April 17th, 2017, 07:00 AM
Hi, Browneyedbelle9! Sorry to hear about your breakup and your health.
Would you be able to describe your routine and the products that you are currently using?

Mrstran
April 17th, 2017, 07:15 AM
I'm so sorry. Before considering cutting off your hair, maybe try some supplements and get back on track with the healthy eating. A few years back at times when I was single I found it to be a time for Me. Directly after should be a time of care and focus on self to avoid letting other parts of your life suffer. Including your hair.

lapushka
April 17th, 2017, 07:30 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup - that's rough!

Just for your own sake, please start eating right again. Hair needs it. It is last on the list of things your body wants to care for and the first to go in bad circumstances. So that's probably why the shedding has increased.

Deep condition & oil, that would be my suggestions.

Good luck! :flower:

Missdutch
April 17th, 2017, 08:39 AM
What happens if you put conditioner in it, let it in for 3 hours and then rinse it? Untangling it must go easier i think.

eadwine
April 17th, 2017, 08:44 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup - that's rough!

Just for your own sake, please start eating right again. Hair needs it. It is last on the list of things your body wants to care for and the first to go in bad circumstances. So that's probably why the shedding has increased.

Deep condition & oil, that would be my suggestions.

Good luck! :flower:

Can't agree more. EAT. Visit your doctor if you need to, but definitely eat.

Kat-Rinnč Naido
April 17th, 2017, 12:05 PM
Sorry to hear of your break up.
Now is the time to start focusing on your health. Eat well and get plenty of fresh air and take everything just one step at a time.
As lapushka has said DT'S will help.
Good luck and always remember you are worthy of love.

Deborah
April 17th, 2017, 12:10 PM
Breaking up really is hard to do. (Remember the old song?) But now it's time to take better care of yourself.

Besides a richer conditioner, maybe a spray on detangler would help as well. You also mention that you 'used to' brush daily. You probably need to be sure to brush your hair carefully every day again so the tangles don't sneak up on you. Also, maybe try wearing your hair in a updo during the day and in a single braid for sleeping. These two styles help avoid tangles quite well.

I'm sorry you have had a lot to cope with recently, and pray that you will find joy and peace in your life very soon. :flower:

Anje
April 17th, 2017, 12:14 PM
In general, you definitely need to start taking care of yourself. And I know that's hard.

So here's a project for your hair.

Start by clarifying. Get a clarifying shampoo, maybe dilute it, and just gently work it through the length and ends of your hair. Try not to scrub the hair together too much, which will just encourage matting, but squeeze it to get some lather. Rinse and do it again.

Next, I want your hair to get both some protein and some moisture. Probably the easiest thing is to do an SMT but add some gelatin to it. I've got a link to the SMT thread in my signature, but making up a recipe off the top of my head, it'd look something like this:
1 packet of gelatin, or about 2 tsp. (10ml, because we crazy Americans measure everything by volume. I think a packet is 7g?)
1/2 cup of hot water. Mix with the gelatin. (120 ml)
1/2 cup of your favorite conditioner (more if needed) (120 ml)
4 Tablespoons honey. Corn syrup, pancake syrup, and treacle work too, if you don't have honey around. (60 ml)
Maybe 1 Tablespoon olive oil, if your hair likes oils. (15 ml)

Mix them together, smear on hair (especially the bayalaged parts), wrap hair in plastic. Put on a warm hat or a towel if you can do so without cooking yourself. Leave it in for 30-45 minutes, or however long you veg out watching TV until the sticky drips are making you insane. Rinse it out, maybe condition again and comb if you think it needs it.

Hopefully, that'll help your hair be more moisturized and generally feel better. Probably won't fix everything, but it's a start, you know?

Hang in there. You can do this, and life will get better, even though you might have trouble seeing that right now.

languagenut
April 17th, 2017, 02:10 PM
I'm so sorry you had that experience. To put your emotions and affections and dreams into a relationship, and then have it all go smash, that is really hard to get over.

One thing that helped me deal with my break-up was to write a poem about it. It may seem counterproductive if you're trying to leave it behind, but I found it actually helped me process my grief, and that through expressing my feelings, I was better able to manage them. You don't have to be a great poet; mine didn't even rhyme. It's just about expressing those emotions rather than suppressing them and trying to keep them locked away. I can't promise it will be helpful for everyone, I can only speak of what helped me.

Never forget that you are valuable, and you matter. In my case I had a hard time with that, because nobody had ever seemed so understanding and caring as this guy, and after we broke up, I felt like nobody really cared about me, and it didn't matter much if I lived or died. But that was false! My life has value and purpose, and it doesn't depend on this guy. The same is true for every person. Your life has value and purpose, even if you can't see it right now. Never forget that.

And I agree with those encouraging you to eat well and care for yourself. It is hard, when you feel so bad, and there is that tendency to fall into either overeating or undereating, and a general disregard for health and appearance, but in the end that just makes it worse. Just take one day at a time; you can get through this!

Many hugs to you! :grouphug:

_flora_
April 17th, 2017, 06:42 PM
I'm so sorry. :flower:
I once had a similar issue. I used to spend 2 hours everyday disentangling my hair with my fingers, very gently. Oils were the best solution for me. After a few months, my hair is much better, almost as it was originally. I saturate my hair with oil for around 12 hours (sometimes 48h) before washing. Everyday, I apply a little bit of oil to the last 1/3 (towards the tips) of my hair, to lessen the friction. Every detail will count, so a satin pillow case helps too. But it depends on your hair care routine, nowadays mine is very frugal. Previous answers already have valuable advice, soon your hair will be manageable. Take good care of yourself, you are precious. Good times are afoot.

sumidha
April 17th, 2017, 08:46 PM
In general, you definitely need to start taking care of yourself. And I know that's hard.

So here's a project for your hair.

Start by clarifying. Get a clarifying shampoo, maybe dilute it, and just gently work it through the length and ends of your hair. Try not to scrub the hair together too much, which will just encourage matting, but squeeze it to get some lather. Rinse and do it again.

Next, I want your hair to get both some protein and some moisture. Probably the easiest thing is to do an SMT but add some gelatin to it. I've got a link to the SMT thread in my signature, but making up a recipe off the top of my head, it'd look something like this:
1 packet of gelatin, or about 2 tsp. (10ml, because we crazy Americans measure everything by volume. I think a packet is 7g?)
1/2 cup of hot water. Mix with the gelatin. (120 ml)
1/2 cup of your favorite conditioner (more if needed) (120 ml)
4 Tablespoons honey. Corn syrup, pancake syrup, and treacle work too, if you don't have honey around. (60 ml)
Maybe 1 Tablespoon olive oil, if your hair likes oils. (15 ml)

Mix them together, smear on hair (especially the bayalaged parts), wrap hair in plastic. Put on a warm hat or a towel if you can do so without cooking yourself. Leave it in for 30-45 minutes, or however long you veg out watching TV until the sticky drips are making you insane. Rinse it out, maybe condition again and comb if you think it needs it.

Hopefully, that'll help your hair be more moisturized and generally feel better. Probably won't fix everything, but it's a start, you know?

Hang in there. You can do this, and life will get better, even though you might have trouble seeing that right now.

This!!!

(Quality post, I know, but Anje covered all the bases so beautifully.)

ZeppHead
April 17th, 2017, 08:51 PM
I agree with all the tips your getting. Start treating yourself better, concentrate on health and treating your hair gently. Everyday you will be working towards better health. A healthy happy body will show healthy shiny hair so start now. Right now. Do something for your hair everyday that sets you on the right track. Deep conditioning, washing less, protein treatments, oiling, vitamins, a good diet, take extra special care of your hair, keep it up or braided. Give it some time to show a turn around. If you need to give it a fresh start maybe just start with a small trim.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Don't let your health slip.

akurah
April 17th, 2017, 08:58 PM
It's been said before, but eat! Your hair needs the food.

Depending on your work/study/home situation, and whether or not you care about what others see (some might find this awkward or embarrassing because the hair will be oily, others might not).... it might be worthwhile to quite simply coat your hair in oil and leave the oil in. Braid it, bun the braid, put a stick of some kind to keep it put. Oiled, restrained hair doesn't tangle nearly as much as loose hair will, and it will reduce moisture loss. I would recommend jojoba or coconut (my preference would be towards jojoba), but if your hair likes a different oil, that should work fine too.

Try not to be too discouraged about the "balls" of hair, and try not to think about it unless you legit start seeing bald spots. Because of how long hair sheds, I have found that I can spend an hour trying to groom out all my stray shed hairs, and not an hour after I finish I manage to find a large amount of shed hair I somehow previously missed. The longer your hair is, the bigger the balls look, and the better the strands get at hiding amongst the strands still attached.

lilelf
April 18th, 2017, 05:23 AM
That is the worst and I am sorry you are going through it. Eat what you can eat. In other words, what appeals to you. I know it isn't always that simple. I get like that too from stress. But it does help to find things that sound yummy to you, even if it is just a bowl of mashed potatoes. Every little bit helps. As for the hairfall, don't panic. It will stop. Just treat your hair gently and pamper it. Maybe make it your "you" time, and listen to peaceful, non-emotional music. I like George Winston for that purpose. Lol. Treating your hair a little bit might just be the little something you can focusee on to get your mind off things, too. I don't have much else to add that hasn't already been said. But know that we feel for you and it will get better with time. Many squeezey hugs for you.